Draw me In

–|*|–

Eight –The Denial Twist

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*~ Breaking down all my defenses

The distance is nowhere at all ~*

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"Morning, Bella. Sleep well?"

No.

"Yeah," I reply, smiling at Alice over my steaming cup of tea. "You?"

She sighs dreamily in response, drifting on over to the sofa and flopping down next to me. My eyes widen as I lay a steady hand over the top of my mug, hissing as my fingers touch the burning ceramic.

I shoot her a look, not that she notices, considering how away with the fairies she is.

I snap my fingers in front of her face. "Hellooo? Any one in there?"

Blinking quickly and with a sheepish smile, she says, "Sorry. I was miles away."

I raise both eyebrows, and then lower one. "I guess you slept really well then," I grin, emphasising the "really" like a right git.

Her face turns faintly pink. "Oh, shut up," she mumbles, but she's smiling. Then, leaning closer and looking up at me with wide, excited eyes – "He actually gave me his number."

The mention of a number sends an unwanted jolt through my system, but I quickly smother it with a smile. "You gonna give him a ring?"

She fidgets with her hands, twisting a ring around and around on her finger. "Maybe . . . but not yet. And he took mine as well, so . . . maybe I should wait to see if he rings first."

I suppress a chuckle at that. I once again count my blessings that I am not a relationship person, if only to avoid the glorified game of bloody hide and seek.

"Just do whatever you feel comfortable with," I yawn, leaning my head against the back of the couch. My eyes fall closed, but as soon as they do, his words are on the back of my eyelids, glowing and bright and messing with my bliss.

I snap them back open again.

"Bella, I'm really sorry."

My eyes widen in surprise at Alice's quiet tone, her words. Peering across at her, I can't help but frown. "You don't have to – "

"No, I do," she interrupts, her voice insistent. "I'm sorry I snapped at you before. I don't think there's anything wrong with you . . . I don't know why I said that." Her look turns guilty. "Actually, I do. It was because I wanted to meet Jasper, and I was only thinking of myself."

I stare at her for a minute, noting the downward tilt to her shoulders with a sigh. Setting my mug on the coffee table, I reach out and take her by the shoulders. "Alice, you're not the first and you definitely won't be the last person to regret something you've said. It's okay, really. And it's okay to be frustrated with me sometimes." I shake her shoulders a little, my lips curling up into a smile.

She exhales heavily, and then grumbles, "But I coerced you into going, even though I knew you didn't want to."

I roll my eyes. "Alice, if I did everything I didn't want to do, then I'd probably never leave this apartment." I give her another shake. "I need a push sometimes – or a lot of the time – and I'm really glad you and Rose do that for me." She looks speculative, so I add, "Even if I act all stroppy in the process."

She looks at me dubiously for a minute . . . then smiles.

I smile back.

"But it's okay if you get frustrated with me sometimes, too."

"Oh, I do. All the time."

"But you never – "

"In my head."

Eye roll. "Just tell me when I'm pushing too hard from now on, okay?"

"Will do."

"Bella."

"Yeah?"

"Please stop shaking me."

Woops. "Sorry."

–|*|–

After that – with still no sign of Rose appearing any time soon – I gratefully trudge back to my room again. I eschew all guilt as I collapse back onto my bed because, well, it is a Saturday.

I let out a great, long sigh as my eyes fall closed, trying to push all my thoughts away. But by doing that it seems I inadvertently invite them in.

I see you.

What am I supposed to do with that?

Frowning, my hand works its way under my pillow before I can stop it. I finger the sharp corners of the small card and feel the indentations of numbers and letters, but I don't open my eyes.

He must have slipped it into my pocket when he carried me to the car. The thought of that alone sends an embarrassed tingle running through me – makes me feel even more naïve than I already do.

I'm not a child, I think. But I am . . . so confused.

Despite the weights weighing my lids down, they still pull open. I peer at the card for probably the hundredth time, and yet I still feel no closer to understanding.

"What do you want?" I ask the room.

All the card says is –

I see you.

My answer is always the same:

Please don't.

–|*|–

"Bella?" Rose.

Knock, knock.

"You awake?"

Well, I am now.

"Yeah," I croak. "I'm up. One sec."

I let out a yawn as I sit up, blinking at the evening dusk strolling into the room. My eyes wander over to my watch where I proceed to gawk at the little hands.

Oops.

For a blissful moment my head is too fuzzy to remember anything, but when I wobble-stand, something flutters off of me and lands on the carpet.

I hesitate for a minute, wondering if I should just leave it there.

"Bel-la." Alice. "We ordered Chinese, so you better hurry unless you want Rose to nick all the sweet and sour balls."

"I'm coming," I call back quickly, swooping up the card at the last second and stuffing it into my pocket.

–|*|–

The kitchen lights are bright when I walk in, and it takes a minute for my poor pupils to adjust and shrink accordingly.

"Takeaway two nights in a row?" I say, by way of greeting. "How very risqué."

Rose rolls her eyes, loading her plate sky-high with sweet and sour balls. "We're living a little," she counters dryly, then turns a shrewd eyebrow on me. "Besides, you didn't eat much last night."

I shrug, finding the linoleum floor so interesting all of a sudden.

"There were a lot of things to distract us last night," Alice says, her voice ending on a sigh.

I shake my head, but smile as I grab a plate and start cluttering it with chow mein, rice, curry sauce and chips.

Rose just shrugs and says, "Meh."

–|*|–

"Meh," I scoff quietly under my breath, side-eyeing Rose. "Meh."

She turns to me with narrowed eyes, but the threatening look she's going for doesn't quite work because of the ball she just stuffed into her mouth moments prior. "What?"

I bite down on a chip to hide my grin.

"What, Bella?"

I hum around a mouthful of chow mein.

"I was just thinking," I say slowly, and after an age. "That it looked like you had a good time last night, was all. I'm sure it warranted more than just a meh."

"You and Emmett did look super-duper friendly on that couch," Alice pipes up, and I turn to see her wiggling her eyebrows up and down.

I catch her glance and we share a grin before turning back to Rose.

"I just think," I begin again, dead serious, before she can respond. "That you should thank me for allowing you to find your soul mate." I feel the couch start shaking next to me as Alice starts to giggle. Rose is still narrow-eyed-y. "And that one day, after you take in one of his drum sets as your own; you will name a cymbal after me."

Laughter spills out from Alice and I can't hold back my grin any longer. Rose just shakes her head at us like we're a couple of prats.

"That was awful," Rose complains, rolling her eyes. She pokes me with her fork. "Please stop making your own jokes up."

I wipe imaginary tears from my eyes. "I will when they stop being funny."

"And true," Alice agrees, and we share a high five.

Rose stares at us, a reluctant smile tipping the corners of her lips up. "I do not know why I'm best friends with you pair of loons."

–|*|–

After dinner, we pile onto the couch in various states of uncomfortable fullness.

"Ugh," I say.

"I know," Alice groans.

"Weaklings." Rose rolls her eyes as she pops the last sweet and sour ball into her mouth.

"You're going to look like one of those one day, you know."

She counters with – "Don't you sound just like your mother."

And I concede.

"So," Rose says after a while, drumming her fingers on the arm of the couch. "What did Edward say to you?"

The mention of his name has my eyes widening and my pocket burning. "Uh," I say, and notice Alice perk up at my side. "He didn't say anything . . . I mean, you were in the room, too. He hardly said two words. In fact, just one as I recall, which was hello."

Rose narrows her eyes. "No, I mean before that – in the corridor."

"Oh," I reply quietly, my fingers twisting together nervously. "He just asked if I'd . . . if I'd stay for a little while, and that he was sorry he took so long."

Alice frowns. "Why did he take so long?"

I shrug. "I dunno. He never told me."

"The pizza?"

I shrug. Again. "I guess." It's funny; when we'd bumped into each other I hadn't even noticed the pizza boxes. My eyes had been favouring the floor though.

"You just seemed . . . really quiet when you came back in."

"I am really quiet," I say, laughing nervously, wishing they'd just let the subject drop.

But –

"Well, yeah," Rose acknowledges, tilting her head to the side. "But even more so than usual."

– No such luck.

"I was just tired," I sigh, rubbing my forehead. "Manic day for me, you know?" And then, seeing an out – "And can you please not let strangers carry me around?"

"We didn't wanna wake you," Alice says next to me. "And he offered."

I just shrug and pick at my fingernails like it doesn't bother me.

Rose clicks her fingers; an audible eureka moment. "He makes you nervous!"

I jolt a little, but don't let it show. "Well, duh," I say, albeit a little shakily. "Everyone makes me nervous."

"Yeah . . . " She trails off, and I immediately distrust the Cheshire cat grin overtaking her face. "But in a 'you-make-me-extremely-uncomfortable' way, not in an 'I-don't-know-how-to-deal-with-you' way."

I blink at her. "Is there a difference?"

"Oh my god!" Alice squeals next to me, taking my arm in surprisingly strong fingers. "You like him."

I gape at her, feeling a blush paint my skin red.

"You're mad," I reply finally, shrugging out of her grip and standing on wobbly legs. The tiny piece of card in my pocket burns more than ever. "I don't like him. I don't even know him."

Alice and Rose carry on grinning.

"Stop that," I demand. "I don't know where you're getting this idea from. He didn't even talk to me the whole time I was there!"

"He could probably tell you were uneasy," Rose says.

"And you did fall asleep not long after he came in," Alice adds.

"He didn't half look at you, though."

"And the way he carried you was so – "

"Okay!" I almost yell, face burning. Their words, as utterly ridiculous as they are, nevertheless evoke a reaction in me – the same one as when I read and re-read his three words over and over again.

"None of that even matters, anyway," I say, voice strained, my hand pulling at my hair. "So what if he likes me – which I seriously think is utter bollocks, by the way – that doesn't mean I like him."

Alice and Rose share a look, and I wonder if they can hear the quick beat of my heart.

"Bella," Rose says, her voice cautiously gentle. "Maybe I'll stop denying about drummer boy when you stop denying this."

"I'm not – "

She raises a brow. "Exactly."

–|*|–

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A/N: *wiggles eyebrows*

stroppy = bad tempered, argumentative

nick = steal

chips = fries

prat = a stupid person; idiot

He didn't half look at you = he looked at you a lot (used in spoken English to express a positive statement more strongly)

Thank you so much for your kind words last chapter! As many suggested I do, I've deleted those reviews and have now decided to moderate guest ones. So such ugly words shall never see the light of day again (unless they want to be held accountable for their actions, which I suspect they don't).

Also, a question for you: I'm possibly considering writing an EPOV... so what'd you reckon?

Thanks again. :) See you soon!