Disclaimer: Ownership is neither claimed nor implied, the author does not make any profit from this work of fiction.
A/N: Hello, I'm your big sister...
"Time is it?" Quinn asked with her hand over her mouth to cover the yawn.
"Six thirty," Puck replied from the chair beside the bed. "Do you need anything?" he asked, instantly ready to bring Quinn anything that she might require or just fancy for a second.
"The bathroom," Quinn muttered to herself as she struggled to get out of the hospital bed. Puck assisted her then watched her ass as she waddled into the en suite bathroom, even as pregnant as that, she still turned him on. Quinn returned to her room a few minutes later. "What time did the nurse say they were taking me to the OR?" she asked, although Puck knew that Quinn knew full well, he also knew that she was incredibly nervous.
"Eight," Puck reminded her. "Now get back up there and re-attach that monitor, I want to see Finn, say good morning," he said and kissed her as he helped her back into bed. "Hey," he said as he answered his phone. "You're awake early," he said with a grin. "She's fine, she's awake, do you want to talk to her?" he asked. "Beth," he told Quinn and handed his phone over.
"Hi, sweetie," Quinn said with a smile, she was determined to be positive today, her son was going to be born today and right at this very second, it looked like he was waving to them from the imaging screen, as though he knew he was going to meet them soon. "No, I'm looking at him right now, he looks like he's waving," she told Beth. "Absolutely, of course, if your mom agrees," she replied, touched that Beth wanted to be nearby to see the baby as soon as he was born. "Hi, Shelby," Quinn said, Puck realised that Beth had passed the phone over. "Of course, we would love for you and Beth to be here, I mean, obviously we'll be in the OR, but I'm getting an epidural so I'll be awake through the whole thing," she explained. Quinn listened for a few moments. "We'll see you soon then, that would be perfect, I'm sure Puck will appreciate that, thanks, see you soon," she said, smiling as she ended the call.
"What will I appreciate?" Puck asked as he took his phone back and automatically checked his messages, emails and a couple of missed calls. "Crap, stuff here from Rachel, she's flying in to Lima this afternoon," he sighed. Puck looked intently at Quinn. "What do we do?" he asked. "Do we say nothing and let her believe that Finn just made a donation to Sue?" he asked. "Or do we tell her the truth, just in case it ever comes out later, I mean, if you knew something important like that and didn't tell me, it'd kill me," he sighed. He really didn't know what to do for the best, because Finn had flat out lied to Rachel about it, and he'd never said a word to Puck even though they'd had many a heart to heart while sharing that dorm room, Puck only knew about it because of the sleep talking and he was a bit hurt, actually, he thought they'd been totally honest with each other. One of the things that they'd talked about was firsts, like who they'd lost their virginity to. Puck had admitted that Santana had been his first and Finn had told Puck that Rachel had been his, he'd actually said she'd been his first and only. Was it because he didn't want anyone to know about the Sue thing or had he deliberately blocked it from his mind because it had been so horrific?
"We say nothing," Quinn replied, she'd given it a lot of thought through the long, lonely hours of the night that she had been unable to sleep, she'd thought about a million things, anything to keep from thinking about the things that could go wrong between then and the time that Dr Wen made his incision. "And you'll appreciate Beth and Shelby coming here for a while because they're bringing breakfast." she added.
"Are you sure?" Puck asked. "Not about breakfast," he said with a roll of his eyes when Quinn raised one of her eyebrows, "about Rachel, I mean, won't she throw a diva fit if she finds out we knew and didn't tell her?"
"Maybe, but we'll just be honest with her, tell her we thought we were protecting her, she can be pissed or she can accept it," Quinn answered with a shrug. "And now I need to pee again," she sighed. "Finnian Jonas Puckerman, you are really pressing on my bladder," she told the screen. Puck could have sworn the baby's face twitched, almost like he'd heard her, almost like he'd smiled. Puck rolled his eyes at his own fanciful-ness, Lord he was tired, he was really beginning to imagine things.
"I'm fine," Quinn answered Puck, although her voice quivered and he could feel her hand tremble in his.
"Blue suits you," Puck murmured teasingly against the back of her hand as he brought it to his lips to kiss it again, he was sat on a low stool at the head end of the operating table. "Just a few minutes, now," he said as his stomach turned over. Puck glanced at the blue screen that was between them and their view of Quinn's stomach. Over the top of the screen, they could see the nurses, Dr Wen and a couple of other people who were in the OR with them, well, they could see their heads at any rate. Puck watched how intensely Dr Wen was staring, working. He gulped as Dr Wen straightened up and looked over the screen.
"And here he is, Baby Puckerman, safe and sound," he announced as he held the baby up for Puck and Quinn to see. The instant Dr Wen turned the baby over, so that he was face down across the doctor's hand, looking at his parents, the baby cried, his little limbs shivering with the effort it took. "All is well, he's going to get cleaned up, go through a few checks, but he'll be with you in a moment, alright?" he said and passed him over to a colleague. Dr Wen went to work closing Quinn up.
"There you go, daddy," the nurse said a few moments later - though it had felt like a lifetime to Puck and Quinn - as she handed the baby to Puck for him to hold close to Quinn's face. Quinn couldn't speak, she was too overcome with emotion, with relief. All of her prayers had been answered, her son was safe, he was healthy and there didn't seem to be any adverse effects from the umbilical issues. The only thing that could make this day any better would be for Beth to be with them right at this very second.
"Perfect," Puck sighed and leaned over to kiss the baby's cheek. "Just like you," he added and leaned further to kiss Quinn. "You're amazing," he told her before his voice broke, he couldn't hold back the flood of tears that surged up, he was so relieved that the baby was fine, that Quinn was fine, he didn't think he could ever ask for more.
"I love you, so much," Quinn managed to say through her tears. "Both of you, all of you, I love you, Finn and Beth, so much," she told Puck and he knew that she meant it.
Quinn was back in her room, her operation over with, she was still numbed, she couldn't feel a thing except excitement at having her son beside her in a specially adapted crib. It was similar to the clear plastic crib that Beth had been placed in, but it had a specially heated mattress to keep Finnian's temperature at the right level and it also had built in sensors so that alarms sounded at the nurses' station if he needed help in any way. So far, the only thing he'd needed was the gentle flow of oxygen into the crib so that he was breathing oxygen rich air, but he hadn't needed any help to actually breathe. He was doing really well.
"I didn't think breastfeeding would be that difficult," Quinn grumbled. "I thought I'd just hold him there and he'd know what to do," she pouted.
"It's something that has to be taught, it's not all instinct," the lactation nurse replied with a smile. "But you both did well," she praised. "And don't forget, he is only tiny, he's not going to take much at a time, little and often, don't get regimented with the time, feed on demand, when he's hungry, feed him, that's how your supply will adapt to what he needs," she reminded Quinn of the things she'd been told in her Lamaze class. "And just make sure you're holding him well, that he latches on well, and you'll be fine. There's a few of us," she told Quinn, "and any time you feel that you need support, just call us and we'll come and help," she assured them before she left the room.
"He is so perfect," Beth whispered as she leaned over to look at her little brother. The blue gown looked huge on her, she tugged the sleeves up a little more. "When can I hold him?" she asked, almost desperate to touch him, to feel him, to feel someone else who shared exactly the same blend of DNA that she did. "Do you know what's amazing?" she said as her eyes followed every curve, every line, traced the whole of his tiny body.
"What?" Quinn asked, her eyes were full of tears as she watched her two children together.
"That even though we were made by exactly the same people, even though we have the very same genes, we are so different," Beth said then smiled at Quinn. "I mean, I look so much like you, Grandma Judy said that she has to think when she sees a picture, she has to remember who wore what," she said and rolled her eyes, she thought Judy was probably exaggerating a little. "And just look at Finn, even now, already, you can see he looks exactly like Puck, like I got all of your genes and he got all of Puck's," she explained. "It's a good job he's cute," she added and tilted her head at Puck, waited for her sly insult to catch up with him.
"Hey," Puck called, pretending to be hurt by Beth's remark. He stood beside Beth, his arm around her shoulder and hugged her close as they both looked at the baby. "He is pretty gorgeous, isn't he?" he sighed with pride. "I think we did good," he told Quinn, "both times," he added then kissed Beth's head.
"May we come in?" Ruth asked from the doorway, they'd waited outside to allow Beth a few moments alone with the new family, they all knew that she needed that to feel part of something special.
"Of course," Puck replied and went to the door to greet his mom, his sister, his mother-in-law, Shelby and rather strangely, his father.
"Russell will come by later," Judy said in a voice that totally betrayed her annoyance with the man. "He's playing golf, apparently, and that is obviously way more important than meeting his first grandson," she bitched quietly. Ruth gave an understanding, soothing, sort of agreeing sound, she got it, she understood why Judy was pissed. She herself was amazed that her ex had shown up already.
"You're here and that's the important part," Quinn told her mom, reaching out a hand to her, she hoped that the recent good relationship would last, she really wanted it to. "And it's his loss," she reminded everyone. "So, here he is, Finnian Jonas Puckerman," she announced as Puck lifted their son from his crib. Quinn held out her arms and loved that feeling when Puck placed the baby in them, when he gave her the child that they'd longed for. "So, what do you think?" she asked shyly. "Isn't he just cute?"
"He's gorgeous," Rebecca sighed and touched the baby's hand gently. "How are you?" she asked Quinn and nodded towards her stomach, towards the wound that she knew was there.
"Fine, I'm still numb from the epidural," Quinn replied, although that numbness was beginning to wear off a little. "I'd rather have had him naturally, but the risk was too great," she said as Judy, now that she was gowned up, took the baby from her.
"He is so beautiful," Judy sighed and wiped away a tear. "You really do make beautiful babies," she told Quinn with a smile towards Beth. "Congratulations," she added and passed the baby over to Ruth who had also donned a blue gown.
"Congratulations, son," Nate Puckerman said as he slapped Puck on the back. "He's a tiny one, right?" he asked, he wasn't really sure, babies weren't his thing at all. To be honest, neither were full-grown children, at least not if they were his, and if his family ever found out about his other son, Nate was sure they'd disown him altogether. Still, Jake wasn't interested in meeting the rest of his family either, so Nate could live with that.
"He's four weeks early," Puck reminded his dad. "But he's perfect, right?" he murmured as he took the baby back from his mom. "And I think he's getting hungry again," he said as the baby began to fuss. "There you go, mommy, do your stuff," he said to Quinn as he laid the baby across her lap. "Do you want me to get the nurse for you?" he asked as Quinn looked panic-stricken.
"Yes, please," Quinn whispered. She gulped, she blushed, she glanced around the room. Quinn had no idea how she was going to feed her child in front of all these people.
"Oh, oh," Nate suddenly cried. "Do you want us to leave?" he asked, he would be rather relieved to escape to be honest.
"Dad, she's ok with having the ladies present," Puck replied as he guided his dad out, "but she probably doesn't want a guy staring at her boobs," he grinned as they walked down the corridor toward the nurses' station, "especially not her father-in-law."
"Hi there," the friendly nurse said as the two men approached.
"Hi, is Wendy here?" Puck asked, looking around for the nurse who had helped Quinn earlier.
"Hi," Wendy said, appearing suddenly from the left. "Does Quinn need a little more support?" she asked.
"Yes, please," Puck replied and smiled at the other nurses too. "I'm going to take my dad for coffee," he added, indicating his father at his side, "the ladies are in there with Quinn, but she says she's cool with them being present," he explained. "Dad, coffee?" he suggested and led the way to the cafeteria.
"I just need to check the wound," Dr Wen said as he ushered everyone except Puck out of the room. "So, how are you feeling?" he asked as he washed his hands.
"Tired," Quinn replied. "But energised too," she added. "The numbness has almost worn off and I don't want too much pain relief because of breastfeeding," she said.
"Hmm, there's various forms of pain relief, some are more effective than others, but there are some that won't have as much effect on baby as others, I'll write you up for one of those," Dr Wen assured her.
"Thank you," Quinn said quietly as the doctor checked out her wound.
"Looking fine," Dr Wen said as he redressed the surgical scar. "And now let me check out this young man," he said as he removed his gloves and washed his hands again. "One second," he said as he pulled on another pair of latex gloves. "He seems to be coping rather well," he said with a smile at Puck. "Did you decide on a name for him yet?" he asked.
"We chose his name a while ago, this is Finnian Jonas Puckerman," Puck announced.
"I'm so very pleased to make your acquaintance, Finnian Jonas," Dr Wen said softly. "You are going to be a very happy little boy, I can feel it," he said quietly, it was one of the things that Dr Wen liked to say to the new babies, he hoped it was something that would stay with them forever.
"Hello," Rachel said quietly as she poked her head around the door.
"Hi," Puck whispered, he was conscious that Quinn and the baby were both asleep and he didn't want to wake them. "How are you?" he asked as he kissed Rachel's cheek. "Want to go for coffee?" he asked, he'd rather let Quinn sleep for a while longer.
"So how was it?" Rachel asked once they were sat in the cafeteria. "I can't imagine being in the same room when you know a surgeon is performing an operation, I mean, gross," she shuddered.
"It wasn't gross," Puck swiftly denied. "It was kind of awesome, actually," he said. "We couldn't see anything, there was a screen between us and the doctor, but it was really cool for Quinn to be awake, for us both to be able to see Finn the second he was out," he said and remembered the moment again, it was probably one of the things that he would never, ever forget, at least, he hoped it was. "Like, when Beth was born, when she came out, I missed it, because I was grossed out so I turned away for a second and if you ever tell Quinn that I will deny it," he quickly put in, "so I didn't see either of them actually exit her body," he realised, "that makes me feel a little better," he mused. "So, how have you been?" he asked then picked up his coffee to sip it.
"Erm, I've been good," Rachel answered after a moment to consider. "I mean, now that I've met Robyn, now that I know her, even just a little, I feel like Finn is close again," she said. "Does that make sense?" she asked.
"I think it kind of does," Puck agreed. "Oh, my phone, Quinn's awake and asking where I am, good job we got these to go," he said with a nod towards the tall paper cups.
"I'm excited to meet little Finn," Rachel cried excitedly as they both stood and left the cafeteria. "Does he still look like you now that he's here?" she asked.
"I think he does," Puck grinned, proud that his son looked so much like him that no one would need to ask who's his daddy. Puck opened the door and preceded Rachel into the room, just to make sure that Quinn was prepared for a visitor. "Rachel's here," he announced, Quinn smiled and tried to shuffle herself into a more comfortable position.
"Rachel, hi," Quinn cried as Rachel reached to hug her. "Careful," she hissed as she felt the tug on her wound far more than she had earlier. "Wow, natural has c-section beat by a long shot," she carefully told Puck as she lay back down.
"Still in a lot of pain?" Puck asked, his face showing his sympathy. "I'll go see if there's anything they can do for you, alright?" he said and dropped a kiss on her head before leaving Rachel and Quinn to talk.
"Hi, Shelby," Rachel said when Shelby answered the door. "Are you sure you want me to stay with you?" she asked before she stepped inside. Actually, Rachel felt a little awkward, she'd never stayed with Shelby before, ever, or, certainly not in her memory.
"I'm positive," Shelby replied and drew Rachel in to hug her. "Beth can't wait," she told her, "she's hoping for you to dish the dirt on Puck and Quinn," she said loudly and aimed that over her shoulder to where she knew her daughter was lurking, just inside the den.
"I am not," Beth exclaimed with exaggerated innocence. "I'm hoping that you can tell me what was going on while Quinn was pregnant with me," she said, explaining what she was looking for. Beth still wanted to know her roots, she knew who she came from, she knew why she came about, what she didn't know was what was happening around her parents while she was growing, waiting to be born.
"Oh I have lots of stories," Rachel answered. "I am full of information and I never forget a thing," she assured the young smiling girl. "So, what's it like to be a big sister?" she asked.
"It's pretty cool, I guess," Beth shrugged. "Did you see Finn yet? Isn't he cute?" she crooned. "And I got to change his diaper, too," she told Rachel as though she'd had a gift bestowed on her.
"I bet there's going to be lots of times in the future when you run in the other direction if anyone asks you to change his diaper," Rachel laughed and hugged the young girl. "You know, I'm almost like your big sister, right?" she suddenly realised.
"Or like an aunt?" Beth suggested. It was weird to have a sister the same age as her birth parents. She could never have too many aunts though, and so far she only had Rebecca and Frannie. She wouldn't tell Quinn or Puck, but she preferred Rebecca to Frannie, Frannie was far too prim and proper, Rebecca was fun and she was only seven years older than Beth herself.
As Shelby laid the meal out on the table, Rachel and Beth sat together and thanked her, appreciated the effort that she had made. "Did it make you sad when you found my mom and she wasn't the mom that you wanted?" Beth asked Rachel, getting straight to the point as usual.
"Wow, you don't go for the easy shots first, do you?" Rachel asked after she'd choked on a Camembert and cranberry stuffed mushroom. "What did your mom tell you?" she tried to dodge the question by answering with a question.
"She said that she was looking for her baby and you were looking for someone who knew how to be a mom already," Beth replied.
"Actually, I think that about sums it up," Rachel agreed. "I found what I was looking for in Finn's mom, Carole, and Shelby found what she was looking for in you, so we were both winners," she added with a warm smile at Shelby. "But I'm glad we've been able to connect, to get to know each other," she added, and she was, even though it had only been infrequently until recently, until Beth had wanted to find Puck and Quinn, and Rachel was thankful for that.
"She's my friend's grandmother," Beth announced. "My friend, Robyn, she's her granddaughter, it's weird, we've both always just had moms and no other family and now we've both got grandparents, we've got aunts, uncles, it's weird how things work out, isn't it?" she asked.
"It really is, and I'm glad that Carole and Burt have her," Rachel said as she reached over and covered Beth's hand. "I think they really needed her," she said.
"I think they did too," Shelby agreed as she sat down to serve her own meal.
Rachel managed to tell Beth many of the stories, the things that had happened during their first glee year, from the initial discovery of Quinn's pregnancy, when the whole world was under the impression that Finn was the baby's father, to her own growing suspicion that the daddy was actually Puck. "See, I came to that conclusion when I watched him sing, have you ever heard him sing?" she asked Beth.
"Only in the car, is he good?" Beth asked.
"Wow, yes, he's good," Shelby and Rachel replied at the same time, their expressive faces giving power to their words. "Anyway, I used to watch Quinn while she watched Puck when he was singing and you could see it in her face," she explained, "you could see that she loved him, see that there was a spark between them and when Puck looked at her, it was like there was electricity zipping between them," she said and snuggled into the sofa opposite Beth and Shelby who were snuggled together on the other sofa. "And Finn, poor Finn, he was oblivious," she smiled and rolled her eyes, remembering back to the boy that she had loved. "There were so many times he almost caught them together, I can't tell you, I used to encourage him to go find Puck or go find Quinn because I knew they would be together and I was jealous, I wanted to be with Finn, I was the one who loved him, Quinn didn't, she loved Puck but she was afraid because of his reputation," she told the young girl. Beth sipped her hot chocolate and listened avidly. "See, Puck had a reputation with the ladies, the older ladies," Rachel confided.
"Like Finn with Robyn's mom?" Beth asked.
"Oh, no, not like that," Rachel giggled. "No, Puck used to actually errm...he used to...ermm," she suddenly stuttered to a stop, she wasn't sure exactly how much detail an almost thirteen-year-old should know.
"Yes, like Finn," Beth insisted. "Robyn's mom paid him, he got paid to sleep with her to get her pregnant," she announced as though the entire world already knew it. Rachel blanched, her shock was evident, slowly, her eyes traced their way to Shelby, silently begging her to refute the statement.
"Rachel," Shelby said and reached out to her daughter, and Rachel knew, with that one word, she knew, she knew that every word that Beth had just said was the truth. And she died a little inside...