Let Me Hold You
chapter 18
Sorry guys, been real busy. College is really busting my butt...but it's going better. Thank you all for the reviews.
After Zim left, my mom came and we left to this icecream shop near the house.
"Honey, why must you go tanning? You have such beautiful skin."
"First of all I don't go tanning. It's a rub on tan. And second I don't really like to look white." We sat outside under one of the umbrella tables, which we were lucky to get. There were so many people out today and wanted to taste the delight of icecream.
"I just don't understand you," she said shaking her head.
"You just now figuring that out?"
"No. I've known for a long time. You always could relate more to your father than me." I stopped eating my icecream and looked at her.
"Tell me you didn't bring me here to talk about your "depressing" problems." She looked up at me while swirling around her milk shake.
"I would like to, but since you don't seem too keen on the idea, I guess we can talk about you."
"There's nothing to talk about mom." She sighed.
"I know I haven't been the greatest mom, but you know you can tell me anything."
"What, so you can tell me how to live me life."
"I just want what's best for you, dear."
"Yeah by telling me what I should wear, who I should see. Always telling me to smile and lose weight."
"Well you did have bit of a weight problem," she said shrugging.
"Mom, i'm a size 13, i'm sure it's not that big of a deal."
"Well if you want to be a model..." I cut her off.
"No, that's your dream. Just because you couldn't do it, doesn't mean that I have to." Why was I even having this disscution with her. She already knew I gave that up long ago.
"But you wanted to be one when you were a little girl," she pointed out.
"That was before I knew what it took to be one. In case you haven't noticed, I love food," I said shoving a big mouth full of my icecream.
"Yes...I can tell." I swallowed it, getting a slight brain freeze.
"Can we talk about something else?"
"I don't even know where to begin. You are rather difficult to talk to."
"So you've said before. Mom, if you actually want to understand me then maybe you should stop judging me."
"I'm not judging you. Just concerned that you're not making good decisions."
"Like what," I said crossing my arms.
"Like that green fellow. It's bad for your image."
"I thought you were happy that I was dating him."
"Sweetie, you know I was just trying to be excited. I didn't want to hurt his feelings." I scoffed at her.
"Well if it makes you happy, I wasn't really going out with him at the time." She smiled. "But, I am now." Her smile want away slowly.
"I don't know why I even try," she said rubbing her temples.
"Well i'm your daughter. That should be a start as to why even try. Need even more reason."
"No, I get it. Why do you hate me?" I sighed.
"Mom, I don't ...hate you. Just wish you were...different." She huffed.
"Maybe that's your problem. You're so stuck on wanting me to act different. That's why we don't get along." I couldn't believe her, trying to turn this all on me like it's my fault.
"Don't put this all on me. Tell me, why would i want a mother who only saw me a couples of days out of the year? Why would I want a mom who doesn't know me as well as she should? Why would I want a mom who criticizes me? Why would I want that. Excuse me for wanting you to be different." I got up and walked away with my icecream. I wanted to say I hated her, but I don't. If I said it, I would be lying. She didn't say anything. Only let me walk away.
Why would I want a mom who would just let me go that easily?
I know it's short and there's no Zim in it, but I just wanted to show a little more of Bianca and her mom's relationship. Hopefully i'll have the next chapter up soon.
ta-ta