GO FORWARD AND BE EATEN.
GO BACK AND REGRET IT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.
NOT MUCH OF A CHOICE, IS IT
I LOVE ABUSING NICO! There is something extremely satisfying about torturing him. I think it has something to do with the fact that he doesn't have a girlfriend. Anyway, he is still one of my favorite charactors.
"Please Nico?"
"No"
"Please?"
"I said no."
"Please, for your favorite cousin?"
"Oh, is Jason there?"
"All right, I didn't want to bring this up, but you owe me."
"I do not!"
"Oh, yes you do. From the time you kept back all that info about my past, and you didn't tell Annabeth where I was, and the time when you had me walk right into you dad's trap, and I got locked in a creepy cell-"
"Dude, that was years ago! Let it go!"
"Please, just for one night. It's my and Annabeth's dating anniversary too."
"Can't you ask someone else?"
"Everyone else is celebrating the day we beat the Titan's."
"What makes you think I'm not celebrating?"
"You're Nico. You don't celebrate."
"I'm hurt."
"Yeah right."
"I won't do it."
"Please?"
"No."
"I'll pay you ten drachma's."
"There isn't enough money in the world to convince me to babysit that . . . that . . . thing."
"That thing is my son, and he's been asking for you, specially. Here, listen."
"I wuv yoo unca Nicoooo."
"And my favorite color is pink."
"If you don't, I will put the photos of you from Leo's wedding on the internet."
Nico froze. He remembered bits of that night. Him getting drunk. The Stoll brothers asking him to do something. Being arrested. Having one hell of a headache in the morning, and being surprised at waking up in a cell.
"How did you get those!"
"Travis and Connor got the whole thing on camera. I paid them."
"*sigh* Fine, I'll do it."
"Really? Great! Come over now."
"Humph."
Nico hung up and glared at the phone.
"I'll get you for this Percy Jackson," he muttered, "see if I don't. Fatal flaws be damned."
Smirking, Percy put the house phone in its cradle and went over to his five year old son, sitting at the dinner table.
"Okay Kyle, here you go, eat up."
Percy handed him a large paper bag, full of blue candy, which Kyle immediately started shoving in his mouth.
"And remember, if he won't play shield with you, just bonk him on the head, all right?"
Kyle nodded seriously.
"And don't tell your mom!"
"Tell me what?"
Annabeth walked into the room, looking very nice in a wine colored dress that came just above her knee's, a triple stranded pearl necklace and pearl drop earrings. Her hair curled down midway her back and just the slightest hint of makeup brought out her eyes and high cheekbones.
"Oooooohh, mommy, yoo wook pwettyy!" Kyle said happily, hiding the bag of candy, quickly under the table.
"Thank you, Kyle," she said, and kissed him quickly on the cheek.
Then she straightened and her flashing grey eyes bored into Percy's face.
"Tell me what, Percy?" Annabeth asked sternly.
Percy, however, seemed currently incapable of speech. After almost eleven years of being with her, he still could not quiet believe how lucky he was. And sometimes certain things brought that into focus. How hot she looked in that dress, for instance.
"Percy? Percy? Hey Seaweedbrain," she called, snapping her fingers under his nose, "wake up!"
Percy started, and then blushed.
"I-I, umm y-you look beautiful, Annabeth," he stuttered, rubbing the back of his neck.
Annabeth laughed.
"Thanks Seaweedbrain," she said, smoothing the collar of his dress shirt, "you're not so bad yourself."
"Hmm," Percy pulled her in to kiss her.
Kyle pretended to gag and then jumped up when the doorbell rang.
After Annabeth told me the rules, (no candy, has to be in bed by eight, has to take a bath and brush his teeth, can play if everything else is done, don't destroy the house,) I closed the door behind the stupid couple and turned to face my doom.
"So," I said awkwardly, "What do you want to do until bedtime?"
"Paint!" he cried.
"Paint? Like, with brushes? On paper?"
Kyle nodded and pointed to the top of the refrigerator. On top was a large roll of paper, three brushes and a giant bottle of blue paint.
"Is there only blue?" I asked.
Kyle grabbed the paint, threw the paper onto his shoulder and marched out of the room.
Assuming he knew what to do, I decided to grab a snack before going to watch him. I had just ripped open a blue rice crispy treat, (seriously, was that the only color in this house?) when I heard a scream of laughter from the dining room.
My heart sinking, I dashed in there, and then skidded to a stop. He had squirted the paint in long lines, all across the floor, walls and ceiling. The paper had been completely unrolled and stung around the room the way teenagers T.P. old people's homes on Halloween. Kyle himself was covered from head to toe in the stuff and was laughing wildly. He was literally bouncing off the walls, leaving blue streaks wherever he went.
When he saw me, he ran and tackled me in a hug. I grabbed him before he went off again, but now my clothes were the same color.
"Damn it Kyle," I cried, "These stains will never come off! And how am I going to explain the state of this room to your parents?"
"Unca Niiiiiicooooo! I gatta hab a bat," Kyle crowed, and led me off to the bathroom.
Ten minutes later we were both soaked and covered with bubbles, and had flooded the bathroom. Kyle kept laughing and moving the water around, dousing me. The whole room would have been a new aquarium if I hadn't finally gotten to the drain and unplugged it.
When that was done, I told him to find all the dry towels he could. He ran off, still naked, and came back with an armful. I wrapped him up in the biggest one, like a cocoon, so he couldn't get out, and used the rest to mop up the floor. Then I flopped down beside the still struggling kid. I was wet and exhausted, and the night had only just begun.
Sighing, I stripped off my clothes and, carrying a bundled up Kyle in one arm, threw all the towels and clothes into the laundry.
I went to the upstairs bathroom and found a tube of toothpaste and a Spiderman toothbrush.
"Okay, Kyle," I said, trying to be calm, "Can you brush your teeth by yourself, without making a mess?"
Kyle beamed up at me and cried, "Obcus Unca Niicoo, I's iz a biig boy naw!"
"Okay, good, know I'm just going to find some clothes and . . . Kyle, stick out your tongue."
He did so, and it was as I had seen. It was blue.
"Kyle," I cried, "Please tell me you didn't eat the paint!"
"Nooooo, I dint eat paint, I eat cany! Wook!"
He ran downstairs before I could stop him and brought back up and large paper bag. Inside were dozens of candy wrappers, all for every kind of blue candy imaginable.
Everything in my brain seemed to freeze. Only a few words could get through the strange haze. Kyle . . . Candy . . . Hyper . . . Percy!
Almost unconsciously, I turned towards the door, determined to kill my cousin, even if all I was wearing was my birthday suit.
"Way, Unca Niicoo, where yoo goin?" asked Kyle, hanging onto my arm.
"To kill your father," I said firmly.
"Buh yoo cand, I haft ta bush ma teet!"
That's right Nico, a voice in my head said, don't leave, not yet. Just don't clean anything up, and let Percy do it, and feel the brunt of Annabeth's anger when you tell her.
Fine. I helped Kyle brush his teeth, wiped him off all the toothpaste that got on him and went looking for clothes for both enough.
Kyle's pajamas were sitting at the top of the stairs. They were footie's, and had little fishes all over then.
Then, after getting his limbs into the correct holes, (there was a mishap with his legs and the sleeves,) I went looking in Percy's closet for clothes for me.
"Unca Niicoo, pway sheid wit meeee!"
"Not right now," I said absently. Blue jeans, blue jeans, didn't he have anything black?
"Pweeeeeaassse, Unca Niiicoo!" he cried, trying to pull my arm down.
"Go away kid," I said, pushing him back. I heard his footsteps going into what I presumed was his room, and smiled inwardly. At last. Now, blue, grey, green, purple, Camp Half-blood,CampHalf-blood, Aha! I pulled out a plain black tee-shirt and some old black sweats. Oh well, better than nothing. I rummaged in his drawer for boxers and put on the clothes.
"Unca Niicoo! Pway sheid wit me!"
"Look kid, I already said I wasn't going to- OW!" Something hard crashed onto my head, and I saw stars.
"What the FUCK kid! You trying to kill me!" I cried, raising my head from the floor.
"Aaaahh, yoo said bad wood, yoo said bad wood!" Kyle shouted. He was holding up a big round disk, at least up to his neck.
"Is that a . . . shield?" I asked, carefully standing up, "Is that what you want to do? Play shield?"
The little monster nodded.
"Okay," I said awkwardly, "How do you play shield?"
Kyle set it on the ground and sat in the middle of it.
"Spin," he said simply.
"Spin," I said, staring stupidly at him, "Um, okay."
I grabbed the edge of the shield and spun it as hard as I could. He went whizzing around the room, laughing like a maniac, crashing into the dresser and finally coming to stop in front of me again.
"Again!" he cried, laughing, "Again!"
I kept it up until it was his bedtime. At that point, we were both so tired, I had collapsed on the floor next to him, and he was curled up in the shield, already almost asleep.
"Come on little man," I yawned, and scooped him up. I carried him into his room, where I nearly dropped him in surprise.
The whole room was Painted in excruciating detail of an under water view. Now I knew what Rachel's wedding present to Percy and Annabeth was. I heard she had done Annabeth's study likeOlympus.
I lay Kyle down in his bed, shaped exactly like the Argo II, and gently rocked him until I could hear the soft snores. Quietly as I could, I sneaked away to find a place to sleep, because there was no way I was going to stay in that room. It was starting to make me sea sick.
After searching what felt like the whole house, and it was pretty big, I opened the door to the basement. The staircase was painted like an underground tunnel, and it was very familiar. When I reached the bottom, I saw that it was painted with scenes from the underworld, people being tortured in the Fields of Punishment on the right wall, Elysium on the left, and the Fields of Asphodel everywhere else.
I'll bet this is where they keep the Christmas presents, these scenes could really scare a little kid. But to me it was home, so I lay down on the floor and slept.
Three hours later, I was awakened by some guy performing CPR on me.
I pushed him off of me and rolled onto my stomach, retching and gagging. Oh Gods, what a way to wake up, with some strange man with garlic breathe trying to breath into you.
"Can you breathe sir?" he asked anxiously, helping me sit up. Normally I would have sliced his head in two, but I had just woken up and was a bit groggy.
"What the Hades are you doing?" I gasped instead.
"You had collapsed," he said, "Your nephew called 911 when he found you and couldn't wake you up. Please sir, if you can walk, I should take you to the hospital. There is an ambulance waiting outside and-"
"Where is that little punk!" I growled, stumbling to my feet, "I'm gonna send him to my dad the hard way!"
"Please sir," the paramedic said, "I think you must have hit you head or fainted. This room could do that to you-"
But he was interrupted by Kyle jumping on me and hugging the life out of me
"Unca Nico, Unca Nico!" he sobbed, "I tought yoo was dead, and daddy aways says yoo was goin ta hell, and yoo was lying der, and yoo wasnd wakin up!"
"It okay," I said lamely, awkwardly patting him on the back, "I'm fine."
"Look," I told the guy flatly, "This is all a misunderstanding. I put my nephew down for bed, came down here to sleep, he woke up and tried to make me wake up, but I'm a really deep sleeper. The room scared him and he overreacted and called you. That is it. We are both fine, but you have to leave before his parents come back. Goodbye."
I pushed him out of the house and collapsed on a chair.
"Unca Nico?" Kyle asked timidly.
"What?" I asked harshly.
"I is sawy," he said, doing that big, pleading, grey eyes thing his mom used to do.
"It's fine," I said tiredly.
He crawled into my lap, and fell asleep within seconds. I didn't have the strength to lift him up, so I just sat there, and a minute later, I followed him.
Hazel walked through the front door, and did not see what she had expected. The police had called half and hour earlier, while she was in the shower. They had left a message saying her brother had collapsed and would be taken to a hospital. Then they had called to say it was a misunderstanding. So when she came to check up on him, she had not expected to see the king of ghosts, prince of the underworld, master of death to be cuddling an adorable toddler.
After a minute, she reached into her purse and pulled out a camera.
Definitely face book worthy.
Review, or else you will have to babysit Kyle next!