I was rudely awaken from my sleep by teacher smacking my head with rolled book.
- I understand you might be drowsy due to spring, Amakawa-kun, but if you are held back due to bad marks, you will have to face Ms. Kisaragi maximum sadistic guidance. A full course!
I do appreciate when teacher can talk with students at their level, but is it really something he should say?
Taizo was quick to offer opinion where none is wanted.
- Mister! That would be reward, not punishment!
Teacher can't help chuckle at his bravado. I blush, because I saw, I FELT sadistic-yet-gentle side of Sae-chan that few but me know!
- See, everyone? Yuuto agrees!
If only they knew, they'd try to lynch me rather than laugh at me.
Rather than give me stink eye as she used to, Rinko just sighs, being in-one-the-joke with me. Himari, rather than bear it stoically or answer with goodhearted joke of her own, ignored it altogether, seemingly lost in though. Is she saddened by something? We won huge victory, what could be bothering her?

I planned to talk to her right away, but on way from school I was sidetracked by Taizo and his sister Haru, and it slipped my mind.

- Haha. You made powerful enemy indeed, sign.
- What are you doing?
Ageha was reading some novel, I must've interrupted her by talking during my game. She and Kuesu practically live at my place nowadays, despite having their own apartments. Only Rinko has parents who actually expect her to sleep in her own bed most of time. She can pull "sleepover at her female friends place" excuse once or twice a month, but not every other day.
- I am playing. You know, video games?
- I know what games are. I didn't crawl out of some hole you know.
If she wanted to to add "unlike someone else", she must have bitten her tongue in time.
- Well, the character I am playing is crazy, and thinks that stop sign is picking fight with her by ordering her to stop. Get it?
- ... What?
- Its funnier than it sounds. Aww... damn. You distracted me, I didn't push the button in time and killed some hooker.
Ageha gave me funny look.
- You play game about vampires in front of me, your character drains someone to death, and you aren't slightly creeped out it might give me some ideas?
- Why should I? Its not like you are bad person (just rude and coarse), besides I know you are totally head over heels in love with me, miss "It's not like I like you or anything!".
- Ugh!
She blushed, taken aback, but did not protest. Besides, she's nothing like real vampire, other than drinking blood.
- You say it so easily. Damn you Yuuto. How can you be so casually certain? Did you really de-fanged me so thoroughly?
She talked more to herself than to me, and went back to her book rather than wait for my answer.

After dinner Young Master stopped by my room.
- Please come in Yuuto-sama. Is there something you need?
- I just wanted to talk.
I quizzically leaned my head to the side.
- About what, Yuuto-sama?
- Is there something on your mind, Himari?
- What do you mean, Yuuto-ssama?
- C'mon, obviously something is bothering you, spill it out.
Young master. I almost miss the times where you were too oblivious to notice things. Almost.
- It's about my... animalistic side.
- Animalistic side?
- I am bakeneko ayakashi, after all. Its my natural killing instincts, they may lay dormant, but they merely suppressed.
- Did you ever had any problems with controlling it?
- Nothing too serious as of now, but every time we fight strong opponent I am tempted to remove one or more seals that help to keep my dark side under control. And I cannot put those seals back on.
- Is it really that big problem? Its not like you ever hurt any innocents. What is the worst thing you were even tempted to do?
I lowered my head in shame. I wanted to keep that side of me from young master as long as I could, but...
- ... To violently kill other ayakashi. I've actually done it, you did not see it with your own, during last Christmas party, but I did.
- Himari, they attacked us, its all right if you got little overzealous, but its kinda your job description to stab people who attack me. How about random people?
- ...random people? - Do you ever wanted to, say, stab someone who is just sitting on a bench eating ice creams?
- No...
- Himari, how should I put it... hypothetically, if someone stabbed you in face, and in response to that I said with a happy smile: "dont get mad Himari, anger is bad" you'd probably got pretty dismayed.
- ... Yes, probably. Dismayed to put it lightly, Young Master.
- Yeah. Because when you fight with someone, getting violent is kinda the point, right? I mean, getting really pissed of is counterproductive, since it makes you commit emotionally driven mistakes in battle, but frankly, if you didn't get REALLY pissed of if someone, say, chopped off my arm, I would be pretty disappointed.
- Master, you aren't treating this with due seriousness. What if I ever lose my sanity?! Then you will have to kill me!
*SLAP*
- Don't you ever talk about me killing you! That is quitter talk!
I do not protest, Young Master is free to hit me if he wants to, that is my place as servant... then I realise that tears began to gather in corners of his eyes. Only then he began to realise what he had just done.
- Ah. Himari, I..
- It's all right young master, I was out of line.
Master just sits for while, having already wiped his eyes, embarrassed and lost in though, then he asks:
- Himari, do you think of yourself as a monster?
- ...Yes. I am monster, Young Master, it is impossible to deny that.
- *Sigh*, do you remember the first time you lost you sanity?
- Eh? What are you talking about young master?
- Shortly after my sixteenth birthday. When you were exhausted from a fight, you took a pill that turned off your human part, and you reverted to an animal?
- Yes... I remember, I scratched you pretty badly, Young Master, that was unforgivable of me.
- Himari.
Young Master... gives me an exaggerated stink eye? What?
- You were acting like a two months old kitten.
- What.
- You obviously just wanted to play. Cats often scratch their owners, since they do not realise humans have more delicate skins than they do.
- Eh... Y-you are just making excuses for me, Young master!
- You pounced me and then tried to lick my face. I panicked and tried hold you by force. You obviously panicked like any cat when young child holds it too tight, afraid to be crushed. Only then you scratched me.
I could fell blood rushing to my face. Nyaaaa! This is so embarrassing! I could just curl up and hide under bed!
- And, I am sure, than if someone tried to attack me back then, even if you lost your sanity you would have tried to defend me. Even if you think that clawing and biting is unbecoming of samurai, I would have still appreciated to have you between me and my enemies.
Young Master... If you say it like that, even you just make excuses, I wont be able to hold it back in.
- *sniff*
- You worry that you will get mad if someone tries to hurt me, but to be honest, I couldn't help but fell a little sad and disappointed, if you didn't got really mad, because I care about you Himari, and I know you care about me. Wouldn't you be sad if told you that I will kill you, without any doubt in my voice, even though you said it yourself I should do it without any doubt?
- *sob* M-Master. - You call yourself Blade of Noihara , but you aren't only my weapon. I love you Himari, so don't be ashamed of the fact you have feelings, even if you rightly aren't proud of some of them. You are always there for me, so, I'll also be there for you.
No. I don't want young master to see me weak. But I cannot stop... But tears keep flowing to my eyes.
- *Waaaah!* Yuuto! - There, there.
I fell asleep in Yuuto's warm embrace.