Rule #67: Don't photobomb Optimus during important vid-links.

(Riley found Leo's secret stash of candy.)

(She found it in the ventilation shafts in case you're wondering. Those things are really big. Big enough for a human to crawl around in.)

(I wound up taking her for a long walk around the island, but I lost her.)

(I searched high and low for hours, but no Hyper Riley.)

(Wheeljack and Ratchet found out about Riley's hyper state of mind and agreed to help find her.)

(We found her in the Autobot hangar where Optimus was...)

(In the middle of an important video conference with General Morshower.)

(At first we thought she was just hanging out, listening in.)

(How wrong we were.)

(She ran at Optimus and threw her body in front of his face just as he was about to start talking.)

("IT SHIIIIINNNNEEEESSSSSSS!")

("Riley, get back here!")

("NOOOOO! THE GOFERS HAVE MY PIGGY!")

(Wheeljack caught her and carried her to the Med Bay for yet another mental health examination.)

(Two weeks later, she's still in the Med Bay.)

Rule #68: If you value your life at all, don't steal from Ironhide.

(Only Riley can do that.)

(Riley found out the Stetson hat Ironhide's holoform wears all the time is real, so she swiped it.)

(He hasn't asked for it back, though.)

(Methinks Ironhide likes it when my sister wears his hat and flirts with him.)

(Leo is an entirely different matter.)

(He tried finding something to hold against Ironhide and found a treasure trove of stuff in a box buried beneath tools and whatever else one would expect to find in a tool bench on a pickup truck.)

(That stuff happened to be pictures of Ironhide and Annabelle and pictures Annabelle drew for him and other little things she's given Ironhide in the past.)

(Riley and I happened to come across Leo cackling over those crayon covered pieces of paper and thought it was flat out adorable Ironhide would hold onto the stuff Anna gave him.)

(Ironhide wasn't pleased to find his stash of Anna's drawings were gone.)

(He was out for blood.)

(Leo (not so surprisingly) disappeared for a few months.)

(Ironhide only calmed down somewhat when Riley returned the box and told him she took it trying to find a wrench for one thing or another.)

(He didn't question it.)

Rule #69: Don't write 'X-buried treasure' at random spots on the big holo-map in the conference hangar.

(Riley and I did this as a prank the night before a major conference.)

(Optimus and a few others thought it was funny when a rather large 'X' showed up on a small island nearby and another on Diego Garcia.)

(The joke was lost on the rest of the Autobots.)

(Prowl and Red Alert glitched when I burst into the room dressed as Jack Sparrow with Riley close behind and dressed as Captain Hook.)

(Jazz, Wheeljack, Bumblebee, and Hound wanted to go treasure hunting with us.)

(We ran around the base like this all day.)

(Riley even managed to climb into the rafters of the Autobot hangar with just one hand.)

(She then began swinging across the room on a rope she put up in the middle of the room, cackling like a maniac.)

(We were made to go through mental health exams.)

(It was worth it when we got a good laugh out of Optimus! XD)

Rule #70: Setting the printer to 200% zoom, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies is immature and expensive.

(I had to continue with my tormenting of Galloway after I caught him yelling at Riley.)

(So, I went and rigged all the printers on Diego Garcia with the help of Sunstreaker and Sideswipe.)

(The look on Galloway's face was priceless when he tried to make a copy of some important government papers.)

(My partners in crime and I was reprimanded for it but that was about it.)

Rule #71: If you hear Sam Witwicky say nothing scares him anymore after what he's been through with the Autobots, don't challenge that.

(I heard him say it and cackled.)

("Insolent fool boy! Challenge accepted! Prepare your bladder for imminent release!")

(An hour later, I rigged the shower in his private quarters with crushed red dye pellets in the shower head.)

(All I had to do was wait. And I didn't have to wait long.)

(Ironhide thought it was pretty funny when he started hearing a feminine glass shattering scream originating from Sam's room.)

(It was made even better when Sam came running out of his room and down the hallway in nothing but a towel.)

(Ratchet nearly had a Spark attack when he saw the red dyed water dripping off Sam's body and tackled him.)

(Two weeks of being in the Med Bay for Sam even after he was cleaned of the colored water and saw there was no injury.)

("You can't be too careful. You may have ruptured something and it's bleeding through your skin."— Ratchet, after listening to Sam protesting being stuck in the Med Bay.)

(A week later, Riley donned a Grim Reaper costume and hid in Sam's quarters.)

(The resulting scream was even louder than when I scared him.)

(It was made even better when Riley chased him out of the room, screaming about collecting his soul and eating it like Cheetos.)

(That video I made of the incident is going viral on the Internet, baby!)

Rule #72: When it comes to comedy, leave Ironhide out of it.

(My sister is the only one that can do this without getting shot at.)

(We were expecting to get new recruits, Autobots and humans alike, and Ironhide's the one in charge of drilling them.)

(He can be pretty mean to them but he says "those cupcake princesses can either suck it up or go home" and he's "toughening them up".)

(When the new recruits met with Ironhide in the training room, they found a huge sign hung up on the wall opposite.)

("If you can read this, you're probably not dead yet. Ironhide will soon have that fixed.— The Management.")

(The recruits thought it was funny if not a little intimidating since everybody knows about Ironhide's very short temper and trigger happy tendencies.)

(Ironhide smirked before taking it down.)

(He knows it was Riley, but he can't prove she did it, so HA!)

("Break glass in case of overwhelming despair."— the new sign written on a fire axe case.)

("Knock. JUST YOU TRY IT, PUNK!"— warning sign on Ironhide's door.)

("OMFG! TIME MACHINE!"— written beside the automatic doors.)

("Physician's Chambers. Enter at thine own risk, worthy knave or fair maiden."—warning sign spray painted on the Med Bay doors.)

(Prime rather liked that one.)

(It's very accurate.)

(I've found Riley's the cause of the other signs, too.)