In my imagination, Nico spends a lot of time napping in random places.

"How do you do it every year?" Jason asked Percy in desperation. He, Percy, Piper, Leo, Frank, Hazel, Nico, Grover, Reyna, Thalia, Rachel and all the CHB head counselors were scattered around the Big House's front room, with magazines, maps, lists and catalogues spread out on the floor. They were brainstorming ideas for a very important upcoming event. Something that, should they mess up, could very well get them killed in painfully creative ways.

Annabeth's birthday.

Percy was going to answer, but Thalia interrupted.

"Oh please," she scoffed. She was lounging upside down on a couch, waving her feet in the air, flipping idly through a magazine. "Percy never plans anything. He can never remember when Annabeth's birthday is, so he just picks a random day of the year to cash in a favor from whatever god he's pissed off the least. Voila! Instant surprise party!"

"I remember one year he picked her actual birthday," Grover added. "Everyone got a shock, but Annabeth was so surprised she didn't yell at him for a whole hour."

Everyone laughed, except Leo, who nodded sagely as if it was a perfectly reasonably thing to do, and Nico, who was asleep next to Thalia on the couch.

Percy just shrugged.

"I don't see why we have to go to all this trouble for the stupid She Jackson anyway," grumbled Clarisse, picking at the worn carpet.

"C'mon guys," said Grover. "If we don't keep it a secret, Annabeth will know exactly what we're getting her."

"She's even harder to surprise than I am," Rachel admitted with a sigh.

"Maybe we could take her somewhere outside of camp," suggested Hazel, who was comfortably seated on Frank's lap. He smiled and kissed her on the top of her head.

"Oh yes," snickered Travis. "The perfect birthday: ice cream and cake, presents, a couple empousai crashers, and a Ferris Wheel."

"No party is complete with having to fight for your life and someone being ripped to shreds over who gets the last goodie bag," agreed Connor.

Katie hit them both over the head.

The door to the Big House opened with a bang and Piper swept in.

"Is everyone here?" she asked, counting.

"Clovis is visiting his mom," Katie said, moving over to make room for Piper between her and Jason. "And Lou Ellen and Miranda snuck out on a date, so Benjamin and I are filling in for them." She pointed out boy from the Hecate cabin. He grinned at her, showing off startlingly white teeth that contrasted with his dark skin and curly coal black hair.

Travis sneered at him.

"Oh well," said Piper. "Where's Annabeth?"

Katie shook her head.

"I think Malcolm and Mitchell are supposed to be running interference," Will told her. He grinned and waggled his eyebrows meaningfully.

"Well, I have an idea," said Piper, ignoring Will. "Percy and Reyna take Annabeth to Camp Jupiter for whatever reason and keep her there for a few days, until we say they can come back," she continued. Reyna looked up, suddenly brought into the conversation. "While their gone, we set up the party, decide what to get her, do everything we have to do. When they come back, that's when we surprise her. The whole camp has to be decorated. I want every cabin participating."

"Don't you think that's a little elaborate?" Reyna asked cautiously.

"This is Annabeth," said Butch gravely.

Everyone looked solemn, except for Percy, who just laughed at them.

Suddenly, the door burst open again and Malcolm and Mitchell appeared. They were sweaty and tousle haired, like they'd been running or making out. Or both.

"Annabeth!" said Mitchell, panting. "She's . . . She's . . ."

"Coming!" burst out Malcolm. "She is coming right now!"

Immediately there was a flurry of movement. People leapt up, frantically looking for an exit sign, Reyna, Piper and Jason were trying to gather all the papers into a pile, and for a few seconds there was a chaos of moving bodies, shouting voices and flying weapon magazines.

"Enough!" cried Piper, her charm speak stopping everyone in their tracks. "I want you all to calmly make your way to the rec room where we will continue this. Not you, Percy," she added, grabbing the back of his shirt. Everyone else filed into the rec room, but she shoved him back towards the door.

"When Annabeth comes in, it is your job to distract her. And I mean, distract her," said Piper, looking at him meaningfully.

Percy just looked confused.

Boys. All they think about is sex, and then right when you need them to . . .

"Just, you know, make sure her attention is on you and nothing else. Whatever means necessary," she elaborated. That lit a spark in Percy's eye.

"Yes ma'am," he saluted her.

Piper left him waiting by the door and joined everyone else in the rec room. The papers were strewn across the Ping-Pong table, but no one was paying much attention to them anymore. Half the group had their ears pressed against the door, trying to listen to what was happening in the other room, and the other half was hissing at them to hurry up and tell them what was going on.

But eavesdropping was rendered quite unnecessary. Everyone in the rec room could hear exactly what was happening in the other room.

"Percy? What are you doing here? I've been looking for you."

"Really? I didn't know. Why don't you tell me why, somewhere else? Like maybe, my cabin?"

"There was no particular reason. Everyone just disappeared suddenly, so I was getting worried."

"Well, everyone's fine, so why don't we just go back to my cabin?"

"Percy, do you know where everyone is?"

"What? Oh, uhh, nooooo . . ."

"Are they here?"

"Pssh. Of course not."

"Then why are you guarding the rec room?"

"Wha- I am not! I'm just . . . leaning against the wooden frame thingy."

"You mean the door jam?"

"Yeah, that."

"Move out of the way, Percy."

"Sorry, can't do that."

"Let me through! Percy!"

"Annabeth!"

"Just get out of the wa- Mmph!"

There was bang on the rec room door, making everyone jump. The sounds coming from the other room had suddenly become much less wordy, and much more interesting.

"Ahhh . . ."

The rustle of clothing being removed was unusually loud through the thick wooden door.

Hazel was blushing furiously, Reyna and Clarisse looked faintly sick and Rachel was giggling madly. The Stoll twins had gotten out a tape recorder.

"Not again," murmured Frank. Grover patted his shoulder sympathetically.

"Oh you guys," sang Thalia, examining her nails with a bored expression. "I know you get off on listening to people having sex not ten feet away, but don't you think you're forgetting something?"

Rachel started laughing outright, but everyone else looked confused.

"Nobody?" sighed Thalia, shaking her head at their blank expressions. "Oh all right, I'll give you a hint.

"It's something that you left behind, that is about to get squashed when those two fall onto the only available cushioned surface."

Jason paled considerably.

"NICO!" everyone cried, and rushed as one to the door. But it was locked.

"Who locked the door!?" screamed Piper, right into Leo's ear.

"I don't know!" he yelled back.

"We're all dead!" moaned Jason.

Rachel was cackling like a kookaburra.

They were all silenced by a shrill squeal from the other room. This was followed by scuffling sounds, another yell and Percy's voice-

"What the-? Nico? Crap."

The door burst open- yes, again- and Nico stomped inside looking distinctly ruffled. Though not as much as Percy and Annabeth who followed him, pausing in the doorway. They were both shirtless and wearing identical expressions of annoyance and guilt. Nico was very determinedly not looking at them, or more particularly at Percy. Instead, he focused his furious expression somewhere in between their heads.

There was a nasty silence where everyone avoided meeting anyone else's eyes.

Piper broke it with unusual tact.

"I told you to distract Annabeth," she reproached Percy, "Not to have a threesome with Nico."

All three of them went an unhealthy shade of red. Nico in particular seemed in danger of either exploding or passing out.

"I . . . We didn't . . . Never in a million years . . ." The poor boy looked on the verge of a mental breakdown.

Completely unashamed of her state of undress, (yes, she had on a bra,) Annabeth huffed in annoyance.

"Of course we didn't," she snapped. "However, I would like to know exactly what Nico was doing on the couch where he was perfectly positioned to be involved in our sexual relations!"

Nico went from red to white alarmingly fast as soon as Annabeth put him together with the words sexual relations.

"Me!?" he squeaked, sounding like an unfortunate mouse that had been stabbed with a fork. "This isn't my fault! I was just trying to find one place in this camp where I could take a nap without naked girls falling on top of me! I was on that couch first! You're the one who needs to stop having sex in my sleeping places!"

"Well you need to stop sleeping in our sex places!" Annabeth shouted.

"Clearly we need to each mark our sleep or sex places so we don't repeat this situation," mused Percy.

"Shut up, Percy!" Nico and Annabeth shouted at him. Annabeth whirled away, grabbing Percy on the way out and slamming the door behind them. Nico looked like he had just revisited Tartarus.

"Where are you going?" asked Hazel, as he stomped by.

"Somewhere I can buy super strength brain bleach and drown myself in it!" he snapped before diving into a shadow and disappearing.

There was stunned silence, broken only by Rachel's continued snickering.

Finally, Reyna shook her head in disgust.

"Stupid graceus."

Poor Nico. I still love torturing him. There is something very satisfying about it.