I'm not really sure what happened to this one. It was going one way, then it got off on route 96, and then jumped off a bridge back onto the highway, then ran out of gas in Alabama. Gods know who was driving.

The first time it happened, was before Percy really knew why.

It was when one of Paul's old colleagues' from the school he worked at before Goode, decided to visit New York, and asked Paul to put him up for his stay.

Coincidentally, Annabeth, the Grace's and Piper had been invited to dinner that very night, and even more coincidentally, which made you think some ironic misery loving god was at work, (or an ironic, misery loving fourteen year old girl sitting bored at her computer, with nothing but evil thoughts in her head,) Nico appeared suddenly in the kitchen as Sally was preparing the salad.

Nico had been planning a quick raid of the refrigerator and then leaving without anyone the wiser, but Percy caught him before he could escape and immediately bullied him into staying for dinner.

So, instead of a loving family, ready to welcome him graciously into their home, Hank Relec found one mortal, one mortal who could see through the mist and six powerful demigods, one of whom was contemplating his escape, regardless of how much trouble he would get into, waiting for him in the doorway.

From Hank's first sentence, Sally, Percy, Annabeth, Nico, Thalia, Jason and Piper immediately disliked him, and Paul remembered why he had been the most hated teacher in the school, especially by the students.

"Good lord, Paul, don't tell me you knew about all of these-"he gesture to the demigods- "when you married her! We teachers get enough of those brats at work, we don't need them at home too! We deserve a bit of quiet, a scotch, a foot rub- none of which we can get if our wife is playing babysitter, instead of working obediently on her husbands supper, or cleaning his house, or . . ." He went on like this as Sally took his coat, smiling through gritted teeth, and Paul bringing up his suitcases to the spare bedroom, mentally kicking himself.

Annabeth, Jason and Piper had pulled Percy, Thalia and Nico into Percy's room.

Percy and Thalia were both hissing death threats, but Nico was louder.

"I wanna go! I wanna go, I wanna go, I wanna go! Percy! Let me go!" he struggled against Piper's grip.

Percy stopped trying to release Annabeth's hold on his arm and came to stand in front of him. Nico stopped struggling and looked up at him apprehensively.

"No, no, no, no, Nico, you can't leave now!" Percy cried. "Please stay? Please?"

"I . . ." Nico looked torn.

"Too late to back out now, he's already seen you. If you just disappear now, it'll look suspicious," said Annabeth reasonably.

Nico seemed to think about it. Then a slow, positively evil smile crept over his face.

"I'll stay," he said, "on one condition. And you have to swear on the Styx that if you don't agree with it, I get to leave."

"And if I do, you have to stay?" said Percy, raising a skeptical eyebrow.

Nico nodded.

"Then I swear on the river Styx. Scout's honor," he promised. Traditional thunder rumbled in the distance. "Now what do you want?"

Nico still had that creepy smile on.

"I want her," he said, pointing at Annabeth, "to kiss me."

There was stunned silence.

"On the lips," added Nico. He crossed his arms with a supremely self satisfied smirk.

Percy looked as if he was going to either cry, or be sick. He looked at Nico's steady dark gaze, feeling vaguely like he had asked for his internal organs to sell on the black market.

Jason felt like introducing his head to the nearest wall.

Piper was admiring Nico's creative ingenuity.

"Absolutely not!" bellowed Thalia. She whirled to glare ferociously Percy. "Don't you dare! Don't you dare, Perseus Jackson!"

"No," choked Percy in a strangled voice. "No, I can't do that. Please, Nico."

"Well then." Nico turned to go.

"Wait!" commanded Annabeth. She had been unusually quite, watching Nico carefully. Now she grabbed his wrist, pulled him around and smashed her mouth to his.

Jason's eyes popped out of his head. Piper laughed and Thalia let out a hoarse yell of indignation.

Percy didn't react. He couldn't react. In fact, a curious numbness was spreading from his brain to his limbs.

Annabeth pulled away quickly, wiping her mouth. Nico didn't even blink. He appeared to be in the same condition as Percy. Annabeth grinned at his expression, which was not anywhere near pleasure, or even curiosity. It was more surprise, bordering on disgust.

Knew it, Annabeth thought triumphantly. She left Nico standing there, his face contorted as if a harpy had just flown under his nose, and hauled Percy into the hallway, ignoring his random babbling.

"You . . . ah . . . you just . . . he . . . . arghh!"

"Yes, Percy," said Annabeth patiently.

Thalia snarled in Nico's general direction and flounced after them. Piper, still giggling, shook Nico out of his stupefied haze.

"Masterfully done," she snickered. "Right up until the whole plan backfired."

"Eeeeww," he moaned. "I hate this!"

"I hope you're happy with yourself," muttered Jason. "I don't think Percy's ridiculous desire to protect you, extends to not killing you for making out with his girlfriend."

"He wasn't supposed to agree to it! I just wanted to piss him off and get out of here!" Nico snapped at him. "And she kissed me! Gods, I think I'm going to be sick."

Dinner was an uncomfortable affair.

Annabeth had talked to both Percy and Thalia, and neither of them was upset anymore. Well, Percy wasn't upset after being reassured that the kiss was purely business- no tongue whatsoever and not enjoyable for either party. Annabeth had said something about Nico only choosing that because he was sure Percy would never have agreed. So now Percy was only confused.

Thalia, (Who technically had no reason to be upset,) was content to stew in silence.

If Sally or Paul noticed the slightly off vibe coming from the teenagers, they didn't comment. Indeed, they were far to busy trying to keep their guest from saying anything too terrible. It was hard to respectfully disagree with him when you couldn't get a word in edgewise. His voice was loud and obnoxious, his manners deplorable.

After five minutes of watching him spray food across the table with every offensive comment, most of the observers had lost their appetite. Nico hadn't had one to begin with, and Percy wasn't really listening. He was lost in thought, and kept missing his mouth with his fork.

"Some kids just don't know what's good for them. What they need is stricter discipline. A few good beatings can do wonders for troublemakers that disturb the poor educators." said Hank. He seemed to direct this mostly in Percy and Sally's direction, all the while digging in the blue meatloaf greedily. He had already gone through what was wrong with Sally's cooking earlier, along with a few more sexist remarks about how Paul should have better control of his wife.

Do something about him, Sally frowned to her husband. She had the same look on her face as Percy did when he encountered a particularly foul monster.

Just one night, then I'll get him a hotel, Paul begged silently.

You may be wondering why, (aside from Percy, who wasn't even listening- Defensive maneuver?) why the demigods, who all had a short temper, were sensitive to human judgment and had power coming out of their ears, weren't immediately jumping at this guys throat.

The simple reason was one word-Annabeth. Her steely gaze was enough to keep even Thalia in line. Each of them was using every technique they knew for keeping cool. Piper was quietly speaking to herself in charmspeak, gripping Jason's hand tightly. Her words reached her boyfriends ears, and he was finding it easy to concentrate more on her then a stupid mortal man. Thalia was happily imagining what her Lady Artemis would say and do if she could have been there. It involved wolves, various animal transformation and hunting knives.

Annabeth herself was swallowing her pride in effort to keep the peace. She knew that it would take less then a particularly hurtful comment to bring tempers to a boil, and a single sign that any of his friends were uncomfortable would send Percy into what Annabeth liked to call his ODOAM-SGDMS state (Overprotective and Defensive Outbursts against Mortals-and Sometimes Gods, Demigods, Monsters and Spirits.) It was the same kind of state she went into to make Hera swear vengeance, except hers had a P. (For Pride.)

She was more worried about Sally and Nico. Sally could be as defensive as Percy, and she was getting to the point where Paul's pleading would not stop her from kicking Hank out.

Nico was the second most powerful person in that room, and had the least control of that power. His powers were tied in very tightly with his moods, and while Percy and Thalia were doing a good job of keeping things from erupting, Annabeth thought Nico was struggling. Okay, strike that. She knew he was struggling. He looked like he was about to vomit.

Everything was fine, or at least under control, until dinner was over. Up to that point, most of Hank's jibes had been directed at Percy, who was remarkably indifferent to him.

If Percy were listening, he would have heard Hank's comments move towards more unintentionally sensitive subjects, influenced, no doubt, by the after dinner glass of wine he had consumed. He would have seen Piper stiffen defensively, clenching Jason's hand so hard her knuckles turned white. He would have seen Thalia grinding her teeth as if imagining sinking them into Hank Relec's ample flesh, her lips pulled back in a snarl. He would have seen Jason sink slowly in his seat, his eyes flicking from person in fear.

But Percy didn't see any of that.

However, he couldn't help but feel Annabeth's nail's digging sharply into his thigh. Percy hissed, more in shock than in pain, and looked around at her, annoyed. She glared at him, and then glanced pointedly at the person at the end of the table. And this time Percy did look in time. He saw Nico, head bowed, fists clenching the material of his clothes, angry tears threatening to spill over, his powers kept in check only by his effort to not blow up Percy's house and ultimately disappoint him.

Now, Percy did not make the obvious jump from point A to point B and draw a conclusion. He didn't put together that, someone (Hank) is talking + my cousin is crying = what is being said must apply to and affect my cousin. Because Percy's mind doesn't work like that. No, no, no, no. Instead he went from point A to point B and somehow got a hundred. Someone is talking + my cousin it crying = destroy the person who made him cry and ignore whatever the person might have been saying.

Percy leapt to his feet, rounded the table and grabbed Hank by his overly starched shirt collar.

"It's time for you to go," he growled. He ignored Hank's splutters and shoved him bodily out the door. Jason, Thalia, Piper and Annabeth followed, gleefully throwing his luggage at his walrus-like form sprawled on the sidewalk. Percy took great pleasure in slamming the door when they were done.

"I'm sorry," he apologized to Paul, but his stepfather just shook his head and laughed.

"It's fine, Percy," he said. "He really deserved it. I shouldn't have agreed to let him in here."

"Yeah!" said Thalia, grinning wildly. "Win for Team Demigods!"

"You sound like Leo," said Jason drily.

"Never say that," said Thalia seriously. "Never compare me to that high chipmunk-like Latino Santa's elf, Jason Grace."

Jason held up his hands in mock surrender, while Piper laughed.

"Come on everyone," said Sally happily. "I have blue cookies in the kitchen."

Everybody left to convene in the kitchen for cookies and hot chocolate, even though it was like fifty degrees. Everybody, that is, but Nico, who plucked at Percy's sleeve to hold him back in the entryway.

"Can I go now, Percy?" he whispered, looking up at him beseechingly. "Please?"

"Yeah, Nico," Percy sighed, resting his hand on his cousin's dark head for just a second. "You can go."

Nico was halfway out the door when Percy caught his wrist.

"Wait, Nico." Percy looked at him steadily. "If anyone ever . . . I anyone makes you sad, you tell me, all right?"

Oh, the fucking irony.

Nico ducked his head and mumbled something indistinct. Percy held on tightly. "All right? Nico? You promise?"

"Fine," Nico rasped. He looked anywhere but at Percy. "I-I promise."

"All right then," said Percy, but he didn't let go. "Nico? What are you looking at?" Percy turned to see.

"It's nothing," mumbled Nico, but Percy was smiling. He let go of Nico's wrist and picked up his old skateboard from where it had been hiding in the coat closet.

"You like this?" he asked.

Nico shrugged noncommittally, looking at it sideways.

Percy handed to him. "You can have it."

"No, Percy, I-" Nico started.

"Tap tap, no take backs!" declared Percy, pushing him out the door. He shut the door behind him. Nico could hear him laughing.

Bastard, he thought grumpily. He put his headphones on and pressed play on his iPod. Imagine Dragons started up.

Nico looked at the skateboard in his hands and then set it down. He looked around cautiously, but no one was looking. Hesitantly, he stepped up and pushed off. It was nice, moving fast and smooth along the sidewalk, the air whipping past his face and music in his ears.

Nico almost smiled.

Soooooo . . . . yeah. Sorry for taking so long. I had Art History at a Waldorf school, which basically meant recreating several ancient masterpieces every night in pencil. Very time consuming.