Rule #79: Don't pretend Annabelle's stuffed toys talk to you.

(Ratchet will haul your ass into the Med Bay for testing faster than you can blink.)

(Sunny was bored.)

(And this is typically not a good thing.)

(She called an unofficial movie night and watched Small Soldiers.)

(It changed the way the Autobots view Annabelle's dolls.)

(Red Alert actually aimed a camera at them in her little corner of the rec room to see if they would do anything.)

(But then Sunny came along and picked up one of Anna's stuffed bears.)

("What's that, Mr. Bear? You think I should make Jell-O in the swimming pool? That would be delightful! Mm hmm... yesssssss... what was that? How dare you blame me for this! Prowl will be waiting for it!")

(There was a loud explosion and the teddy bear in Sunny's hands was no more.)

(Ironhide shot it.)

(Red Alert took Annabelle's toys away.)

(It doesn't help his paranoia that Bumblebee and I leave Barbie dolls and Army man action figures laying around.)

Rule #80: "Who's Line Is It Anyway?" is banned.

(We tried playing Hollywood Director after watching the show.)

(Jazz took up the role as the "host" of our reenactment of the show.)

(Riley was the "director" while me, Arcee, and (somehow) Ratchet were the "actors".)

(We were supposed to be superheroes trapped in a room.)

(The first time she interrupted, Riley made us characters in an Indiana Jones film.)

(After that, we were supposed to do it as LOLCats.)

(Then she said we were to act like we're magnetically attracted to everything.)

(Promptly followed by an exclamation of "I'm a genius!")

(Ironhide thought it was amusing until Sunny decided to be "attracted" to him.)

(Riley went berserk and tried to snap her neck.)

(Jazz had a heck of a time restraining her.)

(Ratchet had to be called in to sedate her.)

Rule #81: Don't tempt Ratchet.

(I don't understand why this isn't at the top of the list.)

(If you give the good doctor a good enough reason, he won't hesitate to throw a wrench at you.)

(Wheeljack got him riled up enough to throw a surgical saw once.)

(All because Wheeljack was putting up a fight after he blew his arm off during the Phineas and Ferb incident.)

(The Chevy twins got him to throw his desk and chair last week.)

(I swear Ratchet is evil.)

(He's not above throwing his beloved tools at humans, though he simply makes sure it gets dangerously close to scare the crap out of you.)

(Ratchet will even hit Optimus with a wrench and I saw it happen, too!)

(He hits everyone with those things!)

(These phrases are a surefire way to send Ratchet's famous short temper through the roof: )

"Make me."

(Bumblebee didn't want to go to his routine maintenance checkup.)

(Ratchet knocked him upside the head with a wrench and dragged him to the Med Bay.)

"You don't have the guts to do it."

(Sideswipe taunting Ratchet and having me on his shoulder to keep Ratchet from throwing a wrench at his head.)

(Ratchet threw the wrench anyway.)

"I dare you to do it."

(Mudflap, you stupid idiot!)

(Daring Ratchet to do something will get you a bloodthirsty smile and a sound whack over the head with an even bigger wrench than the one he was originally gonna use on you.)

(Calling him "Hatchet" works really well, too.)

(And stealing his collection of wrenches.)

(Me and Riley roughhousing in front of him and getting into rubber chicken fights.)

(So is running away during the monthly checkups.)

(Riley and I tried to get out of having the monthly workup done once.)

(We tried to hide in Montana.)

(Ratchet hunted us down and dragged us back to Diego Garcia for the checkups instead of taking us to either the NEST base in Nevada or Alabama.)

Rule #82: Riley is not allowed to hang around Wheeljack without supervision.

(This kinda needs to be at the top of the list.)

(Riley and Wheeljack are just like each other: lovable, mad, and almost completely cut off from the rest of reality.)

(Riley abused her privilege of knowing the Wheeljack block code to let him watch Johnny Test.)

(It's needless to say he wanted to make a talking dog.)

(Sam's dog Mojo disappeared after that.)

(We told him the dog ran away.)

Rule #83: If you value your life at all, don't tease Ironhide about last Halloween.

(Annabelle got him to wear fairy wings.)

(Pretty pink sparkly fairy wings.)

(There's pictures too.)

Rule #84: Don't deliberately try to make your guardian worry about you.

(Riley assigned Crimson Flame to be my guardian.)

(Crimson Flame took to his new assignment with great enthusiasm especially since Riley told him to watch me.)

(After that, I've had the mech follow me around almost everywhere keeping me out of trouble.)

(Not that I mind any. We get along real well.)

(But I got ahold of contraband (caffeine) and I think it's a little stronger than I remember.)

(I started fidgeting like Riley does when she's high on sugar and slipped away while Crimson Flame wasn't looking.)

(After running around the base, I stumbled on Prowl and decided to mess with him a little.)

("I am a lying frog. Everything I say is a lie. I live inside magical bio hazardous toadstools that grow in Wheeljack's laboratory.")

("Isaiah, are you alright? You're acting a little odd.")

("This sentence has found a map to Candy Mountain and will not return until its kidneys have been stolen!")

("Crimson Flame, I found your charge. He's acting as though something's wrong with him.")

("Cake is a lie!")

("Why is it a lie, Isaiah?")

("It's a lie.")

("Crimson Flame, your human is scaring me! Where are you? Come get him and take him to see Ratchet immediately!")

("Zucchini knows all!")

(Then I kinda dropped to the floor acting like I was unconscious and waited to see what happens.)

(Crimson Flame did as Prowl asked and took me to Ratchet where I continued to play dead until I decided I was bored with it.)

("IT'S ALIVE! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!")

(Ratchet nearly dropped me on the floor and I made my move, running for the door and disappeared in the vents.)

(Ratchet and Crimson Flame hunted me down all over the base until Gun Metal caught me and dragged my ass back to the Med Bay for a mental examination.)