p class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; line-height: 20.4pt;"span style="font-family: 'Georgia',serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma; color: #333333;"Thanks to all the people who are saying that this story is amazing and all the people who are reading this in general... I did not expect this story to be a big hit. Even more so than my Artemis story…br / br / WARNING: THIS CHAPTER HAS TRIGGERS IN IT… DO NOT READ IF IT WILL MAKE U DO SOMETHING HORRIBLE TO URSELF... PLEASE …br / br / …I am so sorry if some of the information is wrong… I have only got to the House of Hades and just started reading it… I'll try to look up some stuff to make as accurate as possible to not upset anyone. Sorry if some of this seems out of order… like I said before, I have ADHD like our fellow demigods… and no I don't take meds for it :D so enjoy the randomness! I hope that I am close to Percy's / br / Here is a song to help get rid of ur demons~ /spana href=" watch?v=XULwY0rvQUk" target="_blank"span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; color: #0055aa;" watch?v=XULwY0rv.../span/aspan style="font-family: 'Georgia',serif; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma; color: #333333;"br / br / -ninjabr / br / strongPercy's POV (about 18 or 19 years old)/strongbr / br / em-The day after the Giant War ended-/embr / br / I can't believe / br / We / br / We won the most difficult battle of the / br / Most of us are still / br / All of the seven are / br / The camp is not completely ruined, which is always a / br / The only couple people at camp who actually started to tolerate me in camp was Nico di Angelo, Thalia Grace, Grover Underwood (kinda), and surprisingly Annabeth, Clarisse, Leo, and / br / I know I / br / Clarisse was the worst one at camp the last / br / She got better after the Titan War. Something about my loyalty to Silena and Beckendorf (sp?).br / br / So now I am like her little brother that she is very protective of. Kind of like she was with / br / Annabeth and I have gotten better. She apparently wanted me only AFTER I was forced to save her butt in Tartarus and constantly. So now she has it in her head that I like her in a romantic or sexual / br / Which I don' / br / Just because she is nice to me now, does not mean I forgive her. br / br / At least she doesn't beat me up anymore and now since she is senior counselor for the Athena Cabin, that cabin can't take me into their cabin to beat me same with the Ares / br / However, with me, there is always trouble or something / br / Lily got killed by mother earth / br / Yeah that's right Gaea killed / br / She killed her right in front of / br / After she did that, I killed Gaea without any help, angry that the only family that was at least a little bit like me was gone. Tyson works underwater; dad doesn't come to see me nor acknowledges me. Triton hates / br / It makes me wonder why I was even brought here. I mean I know that I had to be trained, but after the two wars I am still stuck at this / br / Yeah neither Hestia nor Apollo has come to get me / br / I would even be happy to go with Artemis or / br / And that says / br / Anyway, back to my sister. Well half-sister. I / br / Like I said before, she had been acting too / br / It hurts to think that she didn't trust me with her secrets when she knew most of / br / The only thing I didn't get to tell her is the fact that Hestia and Apollo are practically my first family that treats me with / br / Which is something that I / br / Lily will never know about my home life, which is something that I don't like to share to / br / I was only able to be a big brother to her for a couple of years. That is what hurts me the / br / No scratch / br / What hurts the most is the fact that I let Gaea kill her. I couldn't stop it from happening. I couldn't protect my own sister. I'm a failure as a big brother. Why did I have to have a younger sibling? That only doomed the child to a life full of monsters and a mistake of a / br / I was and still am too dam weak to handle having a younger sibling or child around me; too dangerous. The only friends that I have are / br / Grover is with the nymphs around America, helping the / br / Thalia is with the / br / The Romans are at their camp in / br / Lily is not here / br / Clarisse is gods know / br / Probably sharpening her spear, not wanting to spend time with the weakling any more than she has / br / Did I forget to mention that she came to like Lily as well, despite not knowing her last name? Well she / br / So now she has been avoiding me since yesterday. Which isn't thaaaat bad, until I start to think (which is dangerous) about everything and anything that has happened to me ever and the possible reasons why she is mad and why the fates hate / br / Okay on to what is currently / br / While I was talking and you were all listening (thank you), I was and still am in my cabin, on my bed while facing the / br / The rest of the cabin is vacant for reasons that I have already said I / br / A banging noise takes me out of my trance and I look towards the / br / "Perseus Achilles Jackson I know you're in there, stop crying like a baby and get your ass out here!" a voice yells. A voice that makes me / br / / br / Yeah, he is still mean to me. I don't blame him really. Who would want to love a big three kid who always lures trouble everywhere that he goes, like it has a tracking device on him or / br / Anyway, I groan at the banging, as my ever-growing headache gets / br / "Coming, sir." I tell him loudly so that he will hear it through the door, then wince and mutter to myself about being too loud / br / I make myself presentable and wipe my tear tracks out of my eyes and change my clothes. It takes about five minutes before I think I look all right, and then I walk over to the cabin door and open / br / When I do, I see Chiron standing there with a scowl and his eyes show annoyance. That's not surprising though. He opens he mouth and begins to tell me something. br / br / "You missed breakfast and Lord Apollo is coming for his monthly visit, if you don't hide your hideous skin before he comes, and he notices, well let's just say that you will have plenty of time in your bed." He says as threateningly as a horse man can / br / I mentally smile as he says that Apollo is coming. Of course all the while maintaining my best stoic face I can muster (which is extremely hard).br / br / Then I look down at my so called 'hideous skin'br / br / It's littered with bruises and scratches as well as big cuts from the / br / Well the fresh ones anyway. I mean I have the ones from the two / br / I think the hideous skin he says I have is really just a sign of weakness that my body couldn't handle / br / Oh and don't misinterpret his words…. As they can have many different meanings that you all will learn in the future as I don't feel like telling you guys about it yet. br / br / To get ready for Apollo, I put waterproof concealer (Aphrodite cabin, Selena took pity on me, so now the whole cabin is (besides drew)) on my bruises and covered up the cuts with / br / What baffles me is the fact that Chiron forgot that Apollo is the god of truth… so wouldn't he be able to detect a lie?br / br / Ahh well, I guess that's a good thing for / br / I take a deep breath and walk over to the cabin door again and open it , beginning to walk out when I get glomped to the / br / By a big flash of yellow, and immediately know who it / br / / br / "A-Apollo –gasp- c-cant b-breathe –cough-" I manage to croak out, because he is heavy in this form of his ( his 20 year old form).br / br / His face falls to concern and he get off of me immediately, only to pick me up so that I am standing, and then hug / br / "Hey Perce, I'm glad you're alright, but what's with the clothes? Its like 90 out here… aren't you hot?" he asks me bewildered that I could be in a hoodie with this / br / I shrug and / br / " I just felt like wearing a hoodie." I partially lie. Not a complete lie so that he can't detect it so / br / It doesn't / br / His eyes narrow at / br / "Perceus, answer truthfully." He warns, but I stay silent and look at the ground before looking back up with a smile on my / "It's cold in my cabin. And besides I didn't want to come out here shirtless, and I am sure that it would be against camp rules to do so." I reply with no hesitation as its true. It IS cold in my cabin as it is the water cabin, and I was just shirtless, because I was in bed and doing something Apollo wouldn't approve of because it would mark me as / br / He continues to narrow his eyes at me for a minute then they soften and he slings his arm around my shoulder and smiles at / br / "Ok Perce, I believe ya, remember, what I said when we first met. It still counts.
Even now… now let's go to the dinning pavilion, I heard that you missed breakfast and I wouldn't want you to starve to death,"br / br / At that I smile a plastered smile at him, thinking,br / br / Oh great I'm gunna get force fed again… and I can't do anything to get rid of the food. I'm gunna gain weight. The rumors will start over again if people saw me eat as much as he stuffed down my throat last time he lied, saying how malnourished I / br / I snapped back to reality as a hand snapped in front of my face and I saw his concerned lookbr / br / " Sorry about that Apollo, I just had a flashback." I told him. I could see the disbelief in his eyes, he didn't question me, which I am glad / br / He continues to drag me over to the dining pavilion and throws me on a seat and motions me to stay / br / After about like five minutes, he flashes back with aunt / br / The moment I see her, I run up to her and hug her. She smiles warmly at me, returns the hug, and whispers in my ear,br / br / " I know what happened while I was gone, Percy. I forgive you, miss you and always will love you, my champion." Then she kisses my forehead like a mother would do to her child. This gesture makes me smile a slight real / br / The first one I have done in / br / emThe one thing that concerned me is that she knows what happened… /embr / br / emDoes that mean she knows that I harm myself? /embr / br / emOr is it the fact that I hide my abuse scars. /embr / br / emOr it could be that I starve myself./embr / br / emIt could mean many different things./embr / br / I was brought back again by the smell of food and find that Aunt Hestia has conjured up my favorite / br / Blue pancakes with a side of blue cookies and blue / br / (A/N:I know you PJO fans are wondering how he knew about blue food if Sally is not in the picture… lets just say it's a secret for now hehehe. Don't hate me! Although, I'll understand if y'all do).br / br / Yes, I have a favorite meal. Well, I used to , before I stopped eating unless I knew I would die soon without it, during which I would eat just enough to keep me going for another week or / br / Anyway, I start eating the food, slowly of course, with both of them sitting down on either side of / br / emTo make up for this food, I'll just not eat for a couple weeks./embr / br / With that in mind, I eat all the food slowly, so I can fit it all into my stomach, which is no bottomless pit… quite the contrary / br / When I finish eating, a crowd is already gathered around the pavilion in wonder. Probably wondering why I am out of my cabin willingly and with two gods nonetheless. Also, probably about to beat me up, before they saw the / br / I ignore them and start to talk with Hestia and Apollo again, causing gasps to be heard. Yeah I might be talking all casual-like and people don't normally do that as I found out a couple years / br / "So Perce, care to tell us why ur so tense now?" Apollo asked me quietly enough so just us three heard / br / I / br / He / br / He noticed that when I saw the crowd, I grew tense in slight fear about what I would be dealing with after they both / br / emDam/embr / br / "w-well they're all staring at me Apollo…" I tell him even / br / He smiles warmly and says,br / br / "that's because they're jealous Perce, they know that we are looking after you, and givin ya emprotection./em I flinch inwardly as he puts emphasis on the last / br / em… does he know too?!/embr / br / emHow obvious am i?/embr / br / I give him my best confused / br / "Protection from what?"br / br / "From their questions and from Chiron of course." At that I fake a smile at him, remembering the first encounter with the centaur and how he handled / br / Nodding, I look down then memories start to flood me and my wrists start to / br / emShit! I can't tame this while they're both here. Hmmm. /embr / br / " Apollo, I need to go to the bathroom… I'll be right back." He nods and Hestia looks at me with a look of / br / I plaster a smile onto my face and walk over to the bathrooms, feeling my jeans pocket for my trusty pain / br / I feel it in there so I casually slip into the boys bathroom and into one of the stalls, making sure to lock it, and take my jacket / br / emThankfully no one is in here. /embr / br / The memories are now flooding my head, from gabe's abuse, mom, lilys death, campers abuse, Chirons words, so much / br / / br / / br / / br / / br / It was all coming back to me at / br / em'Poseidon's mistake'/embr / br / em'You should get disowned' /embr / br / em'It's your fault Lily died!' /embr / br / em'Sally died because of you'/embr / br / em'You should've never been born'/embr / br / em'You killed Silena'/embr / br / em'You should just die' /embr / br / em'You should've gone in Lily's place' /embr / br / em'Mistake'/embr / br / em'Worthless' /embr / br / em'Failure' /embr / br / Halfway through that list of thoughts, a single tear made its way down my face, then another. Pretty soon I was full on sobbing without / br / Then about a minute after that started I felt like I had to have some relief. I know it can't be fatal right now because then the two gods waiting for me will get / br / The last tear slid down my face as I bring out the pain reliever that I / br / A glass shard from my / br / I slid the glass across my wrist gently, so I don't cut too deep. This still causes a red, bleeding line of relief to appear on / br / While I do this, I am also leaning against the stall wall, while holding my wrist above the toilet so I don't drip onto the / br / After about three more cuts, I stop and do the same to my other arm. That's when I stop because any more would be costly, making me in a 'high' like state that I really want but can't have or else they will / br / So in order to stop the bleeding, I press toilet paper onto my arms and apply pressure, and then once they seem clotted, I carefully take it off and pull my jacket back / br / Once I look presentable, I flush the toilet to get rid of the blood, then I actually go to the bathroom so that they can't say I didn't and Apollo doesn't get alerted that I / br / Then I walk out of the stall, after it's unlocked of course, and wash my hand, then walk out the bathroom and to the dining pavilion where the others / br / I sit at the table again and all three of us start up a conversation again, like I never / br / Before we know it, it's been like 3 hours and they have to go in another 60 / br / We make our way to my cabin to talk more there with some privacy. Once all three of us are in there I body slam my bunk, taking in its / br / At this both of the gods laugh and sit on the other bed that's right next to / br / I look at the clock after what I thought was a few minutes and it was blurry and I could make out that they only had like ten minutes left before they had to / br / " why am I still here Aunt Hestia? I thought you said that if I am wither not needed or something else that I forgot." I whine at / Hestia warmly laughs at me then / br / "Well Perce, we still find that you need to stay here for a litt- Percy.. Are you ok? You're pale." She mumbles the last bit then walks up to me and puts her hand to my forehead and immediately yanks it back, her hand getting burnt a little by the / br / "I'm fine Aunt, just dehydrated maybe." She nods ans gives me some water from the cabin spring, which has healing powers, and I feel somewhat better, but am still / br / I open my mouth to speak, but no words come out and the last thing I see is blood coming out of my jacket and Hestia and Apollo yelling at me with worry, before blackness takes over/span/p
Even now… now let's go to the dinning pavilion, I heard that you missed breakfast and I wouldn't want you to starve to death,"br / br / At that I smile a plastered smile at him, thinking,br / br / Oh great I'm gunna get force fed again… and I can't do anything to get rid of the food. I'm gunna gain weight. The rumors will start over again if people saw me eat as much as he stuffed down my throat last time he lied, saying how malnourished I / br / I snapped back to reality as a hand snapped in front of my face and I saw his concerned lookbr / br / " Sorry about that Apollo, I just had a flashback." I told him. I could see the disbelief in his eyes, he didn't question me, which I am glad / br / He continues to drag me over to the dining pavilion and throws me on a seat and motions me to stay / br / After about like five minutes, he flashes back with aunt / br / The moment I see her, I run up to her and hug her. She smiles warmly at me, returns the hug, and whispers in my ear,br / br / " I know what happened while I was gone, Percy. I forgive you, miss you and always will love you, my champion." Then she kisses my forehead like a mother would do to her child. This gesture makes me smile a slight real / br / The first one I have done in / br / emThe one thing that concerned me is that she knows what happened… /embr / br / emDoes that mean she knows that I harm myself? /embr / br / emOr is it the fact that I hide my abuse scars. /embr / br / emOr it could be that I starve myself./embr / br / emIt could mean many different things./embr / br / I was brought back again by the smell of food and find that Aunt Hestia has conjured up my favorite / br / Blue pancakes with a side of blue cookies and blue / br / (A/N:I know you PJO fans are wondering how he knew about blue food if Sally is not in the picture… lets just say it's a secret for now hehehe. Don't hate me! Although, I'll understand if y'all do).br / br / Yes, I have a favorite meal. Well, I used to , before I stopped eating unless I knew I would die soon without it, during which I would eat just enough to keep me going for another week or / br / Anyway, I start eating the food, slowly of course, with both of them sitting down on either side of / br / emTo make up for this food, I'll just not eat for a couple weeks./embr / br / With that in mind, I eat all the food slowly, so I can fit it all into my stomach, which is no bottomless pit… quite the contrary / br / When I finish eating, a crowd is already gathered around the pavilion in wonder. Probably wondering why I am out of my cabin willingly and with two gods nonetheless. Also, probably about to beat me up, before they saw the / br / I ignore them and start to talk with Hestia and Apollo again, causing gasps to be heard. Yeah I might be talking all casual-like and people don't normally do that as I found out a couple years / br / "So Perce, care to tell us why ur so tense now?" Apollo asked me quietly enough so just us three heard / br / I / br / He / br / He noticed that when I saw the crowd, I grew tense in slight fear about what I would be dealing with after they both / br / emDam/embr / br / "w-well they're all staring at me Apollo…" I tell him even / br / He smiles warmly and says,br / br / "that's because they're jealous Perce, they know that we are looking after you, and givin ya emprotection./em I flinch inwardly as he puts emphasis on the last / br / em… does he know too?!/embr / br / emHow obvious am i?/embr / br / I give him my best confused / br / "Protection from what?"br / br / "From their questions and from Chiron of course." At that I fake a smile at him, remembering the first encounter with the centaur and how he handled / br / Nodding, I look down then memories start to flood me and my wrists start to / br / emShit! I can't tame this while they're both here. Hmmm. /embr / br / " Apollo, I need to go to the bathroom… I'll be right back." He nods and Hestia looks at me with a look of / br / I plaster a smile onto my face and walk over to the bathrooms, feeling my jeans pocket for my trusty pain / br / I feel it in there so I casually slip into the boys bathroom and into one of the stalls, making sure to lock it, and take my jacket / br / emThankfully no one is in here. /embr / br / The memories are now flooding my head, from gabe's abuse, mom, lilys death, campers abuse, Chirons words, so much / br / / br / / br / / br / / br / It was all coming back to me at / br / em'Poseidon's mistake'/embr / br / em'You should get disowned' /embr / br / em'It's your fault Lily died!' /embr / br / em'Sally died because of you'/embr / br / em'You should've never been born'/embr / br / em'You killed Silena'/embr / br / em'You should just die' /embr / br / em'You should've gone in Lily's place' /embr / br / em'Mistake'/embr / br / em'Worthless' /embr / br / em'Failure' /embr / br / Halfway through that list of thoughts, a single tear made its way down my face, then another. Pretty soon I was full on sobbing without / br / Then about a minute after that started I felt like I had to have some relief. I know it can't be fatal right now because then the two gods waiting for me will get / br / The last tear slid down my face as I bring out the pain reliever that I / br / A glass shard from my / br / I slid the glass across my wrist gently, so I don't cut too deep. This still causes a red, bleeding line of relief to appear on / br / While I do this, I am also leaning against the stall wall, while holding my wrist above the toilet so I don't drip onto the / br / After about three more cuts, I stop and do the same to my other arm. That's when I stop because any more would be costly, making me in a 'high' like state that I really want but can't have or else they will / br / So in order to stop the bleeding, I press toilet paper onto my arms and apply pressure, and then once they seem clotted, I carefully take it off and pull my jacket back / br / Once I look presentable, I flush the toilet to get rid of the blood, then I actually go to the bathroom so that they can't say I didn't and Apollo doesn't get alerted that I / br / Then I walk out of the stall, after it's unlocked of course, and wash my hand, then walk out the bathroom and to the dining pavilion where the others / br / I sit at the table again and all three of us start up a conversation again, like I never / br / Before we know it, it's been like 3 hours and they have to go in another 60 / br / We make our way to my cabin to talk more there with some privacy. Once all three of us are in there I body slam my bunk, taking in its / br / At this both of the gods laugh and sit on the other bed that's right next to / br / I look at the clock after what I thought was a few minutes and it was blurry and I could make out that they only had like ten minutes left before they had to / br / " why am I still here Aunt Hestia? I thought you said that if I am wither not needed or something else that I forgot." I whine at / Hestia warmly laughs at me then / br / "Well Perce, we still find that you need to stay here for a litt- Percy.. Are you ok? You're pale." She mumbles the last bit then walks up to me and puts her hand to my forehead and immediately yanks it back, her hand getting burnt a little by the / br / "I'm fine Aunt, just dehydrated maybe." She nods ans gives me some water from the cabin spring, which has healing powers, and I feel somewhat better, but am still / br / I open my mouth to speak, but no words come out and the last thing I see is blood coming out of my jacket and Hestia and Apollo yelling at me with worry, before blackness takes over/span/p