Hello all. I had to yet again, split this chapter up. Now, I have to rewrite my entire outline for this story. So, I was hoping this story would only be 20-25 chapters, but if I keep having to split chapters up then more chapters will have to be split up. More chapters for all once again! (Cheers!)
I would like to thank those who have reviewed chapter 13...mrskaz453, hippielicious, missy7293, thewalkingdestroyer, igottoomanyloves, and anonymous reviewer kay.
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Please Enjoy and Review!
Disclaimer: I do not own The Walking Dead or the characters. They belong to their respectful owners. I only own my OC(s).
AN: I have a poll on my profile that asks what franchise story I should write.
Chapter 14
"Wha' tha fuck, Merle!"
Daryl's older brother was livid. Extremely livid, actually, he was beyond livid. His arms almost shook in his anger, a red haze lining his vision. His strong jaw was clenched tightly and Daryl wondered if he was about to snap his teeth in half. He glared back at his slightly taller brother with the same amount of hatred, his left cheek burning from the punch. Daryl had an idea as to why his brother so brutally attacked him, but regardless of the reason, or lack thereof, Daryl wasn't gonna go down without a fight.
"Yer a fuckin' piece o' work, little brotha, makin' tha only woman who understands ya and wants ya cry. I outta jus' beat ya ta fuckin' death right now." He growled like an angry lion.
With matching strength, Daryl shoved his brother away causing Merle to stumble back. After he quickly regained his balance he stepped in front his brother's way of escape. He wasn't going to let him get away, not that easily. He was going to get an earful from him and another punch if Merle felt he deserved it. The good Lord above knew he needed one.
"It ain't none o' ya damned business!" Daryl snarled.
Merle grinned mirthless and crossed his arms. "Oh, when ya hurt and make my little sista cry, it's my fuckin' business."
The tracker scoffed, his bangs falling into his eyes. He wasn't at all surprised at Merle's desire to defend MaryJane and her honor. He just knew she'd go to his brother, crying and in need of comfort. She'd go and fall into his arms in sobs, needing the strength that he had. No doubt Merle kissed her head in a brotherly way like he did at times in the past. No doubt he held MaryJane's hand and promised her that it would be okay. Deep, deep inside Daryl, where he tried to lock away all emotions concerning MaryJane, jealously burned.
"I knew she'd tell you. I fuckin' knew she'd go runnin' ta ya ta cry her little sob story to ya." He growled back like it was old news.
A cold scoff followed condescendingly. "Aw, nice. This comin' from tha sum bitch who lied ta her like ya was eatin' fuckin popcorn at tha movies."
"Yer one ta fuckin' talk!" Daryl shot back, pointing accusingly at him.
Shrugging carelessly, Merle's eyes narrowed on his brother, surprise by Daryl's despondence to hurting MJ. What was his deal? His brother never acted this…insensitive, especially towards his woman. It was a fuckin' kiss for Christ's sake!
"Ya had no fuckin' right in treatin' her like that!" Merle spat.
Daryl began to stalk horizontally a good five feet from his brother, shaking his head. "I guess she told ya wha' she did, huh? Did she tell ya her dirty little secret?!" He yelled, lunging in emphasis.
Unfazed, Merle rolled his eyes. "It ain't much o' a secret when someone else knows."
His stalking brother froze in mid-step, something cold shooting through his body.
"Whadaya mean?" Daryl asked with furrowed brows that shaded his eyes.
Giving him a look like he was stupid, Merle leaned closer to his brother and lowered his voice like he was about to tell a secret which made Daryl stiffen.
Merle lifted his eyebrows, his turn to seem like it was all old news. "Ya really think our MJ could keep a secret like that without tellin' someone? She's gotta guilty fuckin' conscience on her, she does."
The older Dixon had already suspected a large explosion from his brother so he wasn't affected when the tracker blew up. His blue eyes stared widely at Merle with something akin to betrayal.
"Ya knew? Ya knew this whole fuckin' time an' didn' tell me?! Ya bastard!" Daryl blasted, his eyes full of fire.
"Cool yer fuckin' jets there, Speedy Gonzales!" Merle warned with hinted amusement as he held his hand and bladed arm up in mock surrender.
"Answer my fuckin' question, Merle!" Daryl exploded again, his heart racing in his chest.
What the fuck? Why would MaryJane tell him? Why wouldn't she tell Daryl? Why would she keep it from him? Why couldn't she tell him? Merle's eyes narrowed, feeling his own desire to cease being the mature one and just let him have the brunt of his verbal rage.
"Yeah! She told me 'bout her and tha little Germ! She jus' asked me ta not tell ya 'cause she wanted to herself!" Merle shouted, not caring if lose walkers heard.
Practically trembling with betrayal and rage, Daryl seethed at his older brother. "Well, it's a little fuckin' late fer that shit!"
Feeling his self-control slip further at his brother's stupidity and blindness, Merle stepped closer to Daryl, wanting so bad to just plow into him and make him feel the hurt MaryJane felt on the inside. Though, physical pain had nothing over the pain inside, but Merle was going to try his damned hardest.
"Ya didn' give her a damned chance ta explain herself! She ain't ever been unfaithful ta yer sorry ass!
A little stunned by his brother's loud outburst, he opened his mouth to speak, but was cut off by Merle who was in full pissed mode. Daryl knew he wasn't going to get a word in when Merle went off like that.
"But—"
Merle threw up his hands dramatically, his eyes widening and eyebrows raising in emphasis. "Oh, she fuckin' kissed another man! Whoopedy-fuckin'-do! It ain't like ya ain't ever fuckin' kissed a girl when ya was gettin' friendly with MJ!"
The tracker sent a hot glare to his brother. That was fuckin' different!
Not letting any room for him to speak, he continued on. "Ya better put her own foot in yer goddamned mouth, little brotha 'cause tha only sinner here is you. Yer too damned shortsighted ya see things through her eyes!"
"And I'm sure she gave you an award worthy explanation." Daryl seethed, eyes narrowing.
"As a matter of fact, she did." Merle replied proudly, thinking of the past night.
As much as Merle wanted to throw in Daryl's face the events that occurred last night, he decided to save it for later, for a time that would really shut his brother up. Though, he was here to talk sense into his brother instead of punching him out like MaryJane asked him not to. He'd keep his promise on talking to him, but not hurting him too bad…well, he'd just have to wait and see.
He sighed and softened his voice slightly. "If yer not careful little brotha then yer gonna lose her ta that boy."
"Shut tha fuck up!" Daryl protested passionately.
Merle saw the terrified flicker in Daryl's eyes when he said that. The elder Dixon wasn't stupid and Daryl couldn't ever fight his feelings for too long. That's how he and MaryJane finally got together after she came back for a vacation from college. Merle stared at his brother who changed his face to one of despondence. He narrowed his eyes, the icy shade darkening. He wasn't getting it.
"Ya know, fer bein' tha only high school graduate of tha both of us yer really fuckin' stupid!"
Daryl brushed off the insult, but strangely curious as to his brother's reasons.
To Merle, his little brother just stared at him with a blank expression, one that look like confusion. He sighed, using his good hand to gesture to the air.
"That's wha' tha kid wants! Ta get ya ya be pissed at her ta drive her away from ya! Tha further she gets away from ya tha more chance he's got of getting' her or getting' her poisoned from ya. Ya played right inta his hands by reacting tha way ya did!" Merle yelled, wanting to knock the side of his pretty brother's head.
Sometimes he was so fucking dense.
His pent up frustration on the situation finally cracked and Daryl exploded. Why couldn't anyone understand his feelings?!
"How tha hell was I supposed ta react, huh?! How was I supposed ta react when I find out that ta woman I love kissed another man?! Huh?!"
Merle's eyes softened at his brother's unknown admission of love for MaryJane. Oh, how he wanted to play on that…no, he had to remain on the course at hand. He hardened his expression seconds later. Did Daryl not know anything from knowing her as long as they have? MaryJane was strong, but emotionally fragile. One wrong word towards her and everything went to shit. Did his stupid brother not see that the same applies to now?
His voice rose with each sentence, desperately wanting his brother to get it. "Ya don' react tha way ya did with her. Ya know that she's fragile, but ya went ahead and fuckin' screamed at her! Ya made her cry, little brother. That's something a woman'll never forget. Ya shoulda let her explain herself befer runnin off with yer dick all in a knot!"
Daryl looked away, feeling something akin to guilt pit in his stomach, but the feeling was easy to brush away.
Merle sighed, deciding that being the mature one was better off than picking fights like he used to. "I ain't saying that I wouldn't 'ave reacted tha way ya did 'cause we both know I would've, but wha' needs ta be done now is ta get her side of tha story and apologize fer jumping all on her before getting all the facts in."
"Yer a great help, Dr. Phil." Daryl hissed, glaring blue eyes trained on his brother.
The military man held his his good hand in emphasis. "Hey, at least I know ta keep fuckin' cool befer accusing my woman of anythin'."
Tense silence fell between the two brothers, a ringing in their ears signifying the dead quiet of the hall in front and behind them. Daryl averted his eyes towards the dirty concrete floor, his shoulders slumped slightly.
"Did she tell ya why?" He asked quietly, almost feebly.
"Yeah," Merle nodded, his voice strangely soft. "…but it's her story ta tell, not mine.
Oh, Merle wanted to tell his brother what he knew to be true and he wanted to make him hurt when he told him of what his temper did to MaryJane. He wanted to so desperately, but it wasn't the time. If he didn't go to her in another day or two Merle was going to tell that little shit everything and he was going to smile as his brother's eyes widened in realization and shame. The older Dixon spun on his heel, deciding to let it lie, but a sudden thought struck in his head. He turned his head to gaze back at his brother over his shoulder.
"And if ya make 'er cry again or hurt her you'll regret it little brotha."
Daryl just sent his brother a blank expression, but Merle knew his brother knew that the next time he wasn't going to get off easy. It was gonna be hell to pay when Merle was on his ass.
Beth nudged MaryJane's arm encouragingly towards the three women who sat folding laundry for the third time. Either it was fate, luck, or a sign from God, Katie and Bev were missing from the rag-tag band of ladies. MaryJane glanced over at Beth who gestured towards the group with a tilt of the head and flicker of her eyes. With a deep breath and lift of her head, MaryJane stepped from the shadows of the cell block and into the dining area where the three women sat. Carol was wishing for her Maytag again, earning moans of approval from Maggie and Emily.
"You know how much labor would be cut back if we had a washing machine?" Carol asked.
"Probably two hours at least." Maggie guessed.
"Two hours that could be used for something else." Emily added, earning nods from the two other women.
Carol was the first to notice MaryJane and Beth enter. She smiled brightly, glad to see the pair. Though, her smile faded quickly as she ran her blue eyes over the brown eyes woman. She was pale, her skin lacking the pink blush, her eyes weren't sparkling like they used to and she just looked over all depressed. Carol had taken notice of Daryl's absence at breakfast, but it wasn't a big shocker not to see him there. Though, he was always there with MJ. From her looks and Daryl's absence made Carol question silently to herself.
"Hi, MaryJane, Beth," Carol greeted warmly.
Beth smiled while MaryJane just gave her a nervous chuckle. Maggie glanced at Beth questioningly and Emily furrowed her brows at MaryJane, used to hearing a cheerful greeting, but it was few and far between that she was silent or something else.
"MaryJane, what's wrong?" Emily asked, setting her clothing article down.
The young blonde beside the brunette bit her lip and patted MaryJane's back comfortingly. MJ glanced at Beth and offered her a weak smile and sat down shakily at one of the chairs. Beth pulled another beside hers, becoming moral support.
"I…I need to tell you guys something."
Carol's brows furrowed with worry. "Are you okay? You look really pale."
MaryJane nodded. "I'm fine physically."
"Is somethin' goin' on with Daryl?" Maggie asked, abandoning the work before her.
The whiskey eyed woman swallowed. "Yes…but, um…there's more to it."
"Tell us…or do you want us to get Katie?" Emily asked, making to stand, but MaryJane shook her head.
"No…don't…I don't want to worry her, Con, or Bev about this. I'm just telling you three because I trust you all. I don't want to impose you on keeping a secret, but I'm really in need of some secret keepers apart from Beth." MaryJane said, glancing at all of them.
Now, Carol was really worried. Something was going on and if it had something to do with Daryl then it meant that it was something serious. And if MaryJane was getting the brunt of the blow from whatever then Carol wanted to know. She didn't wanna see MaryJane or Daryl hurt.
MaryJane took in a big gulp of breath before she started, knowing she would need every ounce of oxygen to get through the whole story. "Well…it all started yesterday while I was putting up laundry on the clothes line, I was ignoring the walkers when…"
An hour and twenty minutes later MaryJane concluded her story, leaving out some details here and there they didn't need to know about, specifically the ones about Beth and Merle. When she finished tears were silently streaming down her face, her eyes glassy with water that clouded her vision. Beth frowned at her with pity, rubbing her back soothingly. Maggie was nearly red to the face, Emily was confused and Carol was mortified. Maggie was red because of Daryl's stupidity, Emily was confused by Jeremy's actions and Carol was mortified by Daryl's treatment of MaryJane.
"Oh, MJ…I'm so sorry," Emily whispered. "I didn't know Jeremy was that crazy about you. It doesn't sound like him to be so malicious."
"I swear, I'll kick Daryl and that kid too into next week!" Maggie fumed directly after, pacing before them like a caged lioness.
Carol gave MaryJane a sympathetic expression. "I can't believe Daryl would do that to you. I didn't think he'd treat you like that, a stranger maybe, but you? You offered to explain and he just threw back at you. It must've hurt him really bad, but I think we all agree that it wasn't like you slept with Jeremy."
Emily and Maggie nodded.
"Jeremy's just a young kid and I know MaryJane's only seen him as a friend." Emily added matter-of-factly.
"He sounds like a right creep." Beth's older sister grimaced, earning an eager nod from Beth herself.
Little Emily frowned. "I admit that he's always been odd, but he's a good kid…in saying that I know he's had a rather strange obsession with MJ. So…I can see how this affected him negatively and he lashed out against the idea of Daryl and MJ and broke that promise he made. I think Jeremy would be the type to not like things that doesn't go his way."
MaryJane nodded. "That's exactly him. He saw that I wasn't ever going to choose him over Daryl and just lost it. Now it's cost me Daryl."
Maggie's dark brows furrowed as a cold chill went down her spine. "Speaking of the kid…has anyone seen him today?"
The room grew silent as everyone shook their heads.
Deep into the darkness of the Tombs a lone figure crept about, making lines on the walls he passed until he reached the small opening where light peeked through. The groans of walkers were heard outside the opening and he froze. It wasn't hard for him to avoid them on his own, but he needed to keep the halls clear just in case. He didn't need walkers in the way, so he slid through the opening with his knife in hand.
"We'll stay quiet until you tell us otherwise." Carol assured, hugging MaryJane tightly.
The brunette hugged her back, eager to have the comforting physical contact of a friend. Once they pulled back Maggie and Emily hugged her.
"Yeah, jus' keep us informed on wha' goes on." Maggie said, feeling like a mother rather than a daughter towards the older woman.
MaryJane nodded. "I will, or Beth will fill you in should I not."
Beth beamed proudly at MJ and Maggie was glad to see such a sparkle in Beth's young blue eyes. For a while she'd become slightly resentful towards MaryJane for seeming to steal Beth's attention. She'd come to notice how they grew closer and bonded over Judith and it had stung. She was jealous of her bond with her sister and she'd begun to miss the times when it was just the two of them girls. She remembered when Beth had come for advice and help. Now, it seemed like Beth was depending on MaryJane for that. It hurt Maggie, but after getting to know the older woman she was glad she was around for Beth.
Beth was struck the hardest when their mom died and since MaryJane was the closest thing to a mother figure to the teenager, she latched on. Carol was a mother figure, but for some reason Beth never really connected with the silver haired woman. Even though Maggie adored Carol she was glad it was MaryJane since if anyone could connect with Beth it would be her. At that moment in time she was actually happy for Beth, but deep down she still felt a little cold towards MaryJane. Though, Maggie knew that if Beth needed her then she'd come to her. So, she held on to that and let her sister live her life.
Emily left the mess hall with her, Charlie's and her little boys' clothes and Maggie followed moments after with other clothes. Carol watched the two leave before turning back to MaryJane and Beth.
"Would you want me to talk to Daryl? Try and make him see your side?" Carol asked curiously.
MaryJane averted her eyes uncertainly. "Well, I think Merle's trying to, but who knows how effective that's going to be right?"
Carol nodded, missing Beth's frown of truth.
"Well, I've gotten to know Daryl in the past year and I think he trusts me and my judgment so…if you want me to I can try." Carol affirmed and MaryJane gazed fondly into her warm eyes.
She was considering it, but she didn't know how it would come back on her and she didn't want to experience before again.
"I guess you can try, but if Merle can't then I don't think anyone else really can. He's always been stubborn, Daryl has, and relentless..." Maybe it wouldn't hurt. MaryJane thought. "Actually, I would be so glad if you would talk to him."
Carol beamed at MaryJane and grabbed her shoulders. "Great! I promise to do everything I can, MaryJane. Like you said, he's stubborn, but maybe a woman's pleading would help."
At this point, MaryJane was hoping that anything would help. Even though she didn't think Carol could help, she wasn't going to stop her from helping. What did they have to lose?
"Okay. You're right..." She flickered her eyes nervously to Carol's "...will you let me know what happens?"
"Of course!" Carol exclaimed, rubbing her arms soothingly.
For a moment MaryJane felt like a little drama queen spreading rumors around like girls did in high school. But this wasn't high school, this was a new real world, one that was filled with more drama than imaginable and it so happened that MaryJane happened to be right small dab in the middle of the drama, the last place she ever wanted to be. Maybe she was being immature by going through Merle and now Carol. Maybe she should corner Daryl and force him to listen. In days past she would have, but he'd never exploded on her like that before. Sure he yelled at her and told her to fuck off, but this was something different, new uncharted waters and she was terrified to go in alone.
Besides, why put down those who offered and wanted to help? Why shouldn't she rely on others unlike she did before? Isn't moments like this where it shows the loyalty and care one person has for another? A part of her felt like she was in the place of those drama queens in school, but the other part, the scorned part, thought desperately of nothing more than reuniting with Daryl no matter what it takes. It was that side of her that agreed to Carol's help.
"Thank you, so much, Carol. You have no idea how much this means to me." MaryJane smiled, her eyes glossing over with water.
The silver haired survivor just smiled fondly at her. "It's not a problem. I'm happy to help. Daryl helped me when I lost my daughter by telling me a story about a rose so I think I'll tell him a story as well."
Interested perked, MaryJane gazed at Carol. "Rose story?"
She nodded. "He told me a story about the Cherokee Rose and how it was involved in Native American legends during the Trail of Tears."
MaryJane chuckled quietly and incredulously, wiping the stray tear that fell. Her heart leaped into her throat upon hearing that and her mind flashed memories of the past in front of her eyes.
"What?" Carol inquired.
Beth stared curiously at MaryJane who looked ready to burst into tears at the mention of the story. Did she know the story?
The whiskey eyed girl sniffed. "It's just that...I told Daryl that story in high school. It was after my mom had a miscarriage and Daryl came to comfort me, but I ended up comforting him when he mentioned his mom dying in a house fire. It was pretty amazing since the next day we found a Cherokee rose in my mom's flower bed where she had planned on planting something else. It was a sad, but beautiful time."
Once she was finished she wiped her nose on the end of her sleeve, her eyes on the floor and glazed over as if remembering the past. Her heart clenched with nostalgia, but the pain of the separation quickly scorched the places that had grown with fondness of the past. It left raw wounds, the burns throbbing in her heart like a hot poker in her chest. She hated the present and wished she could turn the clock back and relive in that time, where the world was safer and things were simpler.
At least in the past she'd have Daryl, but she wouldn't know the people she knew in the present, her group and Rick's group. She counted her many blessings to have found her group and then to have found Daryl with Merle in the prison. Despite the pain she was going through she wouldn't give it up for anything. As long as she knew Daryl was around she could live with the pain of his anger against her. If she had to live with his hatred towards her for the rest of her life and still remain near him then she would. A separation like the one before wasn't possible. She'd rather die.
"Wow, I didn't know that. Now it makes sense why he would tell it to me because I reminded him of you and your mother." Carol gaped in realization.
MaryJane only shrugged. "I guess, but only he could know."
Carol stared at MaryJane in amazement. She could finally see the connection between Daryl's soft moments and MaryJane in the things he did in the past. So many things made sense then. It was incredible the amount of weight that slammed into Carol at the realizations of so many times in her association with Daryl. He was nicer and grew softer because of MaryJane and what she did for him. Carol was truly and utterly gob smacked.
"Oh, MJ...Don't you worry. I'll get him to understand. I promise you." Carol repeated, only more passionately than before.
MaryJane was the reason for everything since Daryl entered Carol's life. She had been his reason just for continuing to fight and exist.
The brunette bit the inside of her cheek and nodded, a lump building in her throat. Carol hugged her again, her own blue eyes tearing up. Her gaze locked with Beth's who watched her compassionately, nodding gratefully to her. Now, Carol had more to go on. She had enough to get Daryl to see the error of his ways before it was too late. If she didn't get him convinced then Jeremy might actually win, if not have MaryJane, then he would make sure no man had her. Yes, she needed to speak to Daryl and soon before MaryJane was lost to him forever.
Feeling slightly liberated, MaryJane and Beth returned to the cell where Judith was still sound asleep, but due for her noon feeding when she awoke. Before they left, the two females grabbed ripened fruit for lunch, not feeling very keen on going to lunch with the group should Daryl be there. MaryJane had inquired to Beth about why she wasn't going and Beth replied that she didn't want to look at Daryl lest she assault his facial features with a five finger death punch. The older woman just laughed and cringed at the same time. She could only imagine what Daryl's reactions would be like. Merle would be proud. Speaking of Merle...
"Hey, Beth?"
"Yeah?" The young girl asked, looking up from her drawing book.
"Could you watch Judith for a while? I've gotta go do something for Carol." MaryJane lied.
Beth, ever trustful, nodded with a grin. "Sure, take yer time."
With a large smile, MaryJane ran over and hugged her tightly. "Thank you! Thank you!"
Beth chuckled and hugged her back. "Sure."
MaryJane zipped from the cell, but she wasn't heading for Carol, but for Merle. The conversation she was about to have with him would probably determine the future of his relationship with Beth.
MaryJane tried his cell first, surprised to find that she was lucky with her first try. He was sitting on his bunk, tinkering with his metal arm cover. She stopped in the middle of the door and folded her hands together, waiting patiently. The military vet quickly noticed her presence and looked over at her.
He grinned. "Hey, you."
MaryJane loved Merle's voice. It was higher pitched laced with a deep Southern accent that was gravelly from years of smoking, drinking and drug abuse. He gestured to a familiar backpack beside the door and she realized it was hers.
"I, uh, I stopped by at Daryl's cell and grabbed yer stuff..." He trailed off, seeing her expression fall. "...I thought ya might need it."
She swallowed and nodded, knowing that Daryl might not want her in his cell. So, she couldn't blame Merle for thinking ahead in that factor.
"Yeah, thanks, I appreciate that."
He nodded and waited since she didn't look like she was done talking. She inhaled deeply and looked down into his eyes.
"Can I talk to you? It's important." She asked uncertainly.
"Why sure, MaryJane." Merle responded with a grin and patted the spot beside him on the bunk with his metal covered arm.
She sat down easily, folding lose strands of hair from her loose pony tail behind her ear. As much needed as this conversation was, she was nervous and unsure of how Merle would take it. It would be the first time she had a conversation with him about him. This was something new and she felt like a lost swimmer swimming slowly through shark infested waters. One wrong move and she'd get bitten.
"Wha's on yer mind, sis?" He asked, placing his remaining hand over his lost handed arm.
Her eyes flickered momentarily to his hand and opened her mouth to talk when speech left her. Bruises littered his knuckles, they weren't too bad, but it indicated that he brawled with somebody over something and she knew who that somebody was. Inside her chest, her heart contracted uncomfortably at the sight. Not because Merle was hurt, but because Daryl was.
Swallowing deeply she asked. "Y-You didn't hurt him too bad did you?"
The elder Dixon glanced down at his knuckles and chuckled, shaking his hand carelessly.
"Aw, hell nah, ya know Daryl. He can take a punch without hesitation, even from me. He's a tough dude." Merle said, but it did little to comfort her.
She nodded wordlessly, feeling a hollow ache inside her. Merle noticed her discomfort and tilted his head.
"Ya a'ight?"
He didn't need to ask for he knew the answer, but it seemed prudent. Besides, they might've been there all day waiting for her to say what she wanted to. So, Merle just saved them both awkward tenseness.
After a few seconds of silence she shook her head and looked into his eyes. "Not really...I'm not actually here to talk about me...I'm involved in it, but I'm here for a friend."
"Can't be Officer Friendly." He joked, grinning mischievously, hoping to evoke a smile or laugh, but she remained stoned face.
"It's Beth." She said bluntly.
MaryJane knew she had the answer to all her questions the second he reacted. Of course, it was only a flicker of his facial expressions that gave him away. When his jaw tensed, his eyes widened a fraction with worry and his brows furrowed deeply she knew she had her answer. All she needed was a verbal admittance.
"She a'ight?" He asked slowly, too slowly and too deeply.
MJ sighed heavily and crossed her arms. "Yeah, she is...for now at least."
Merle's once amused face took on one so cold and serious MaryJane momentarily forgot they were talking about Beth and not Daryl. Her cryptic sentence did nothing to help him and the shakiness of panic that he felt take over his body. His icy blue eyes narrowed, his tone hard and demanding.
"Ya better start explainin' real fast—"
"What do you feel for Beth?" MJ asked quickly, cutting him off mid-sentence.
Before she would've beaten around the bush until she was red to the face, but now she was more blunt and demanding of straight answers. Not to mention Beth needed and deserved the answers she needed before she could move on with her life with or without him.
"Wha' ya mean?" He asked slightly stunned by her bluntness.
"I'm asking if you have feelings for Beth." She retorted matter-of-factly.
She received no answer and she couldn't search his eyes because he averted them from hers to stare at the floor as if it were interesting. Irritated by that she firmed her voice.
"Do you care about her? Do you worry about her? Do you love her?"
MJ jumped slightly when his head snapped up and those icy orbs bore into hers with intensity.
"Why ya so fuckin' curious on how I feel 'bout 'er?" He asked snippily.
No going back now, MaryJane.
She softened her voice, knowing that he would only react with the same amount of anger that she did. Besides, the situation was delicate on his side and she knew she needed to be soft. In turn she reverted back to being soft spoken and compassionate instead of trying to be firm with him.
"Because when I spoke to her yesterday she was in tears, distraught about something." She had his full attention then. "I asked her what was wrong and she said that you didn't love and never could. I asked why and she said that it was because you...were in love with me."
Merle's face grew blank and MaryJane felt her muscles stiffen at that reaction. She didn't know what kind of reaction to expect from him. He didn't seem like he had anything to say so she continued on.
"She said that she came to check in on me later on in the night when she said she heard you say to me that you loved me. She ran off, heartbroken. Did you say that, Merle? Do you love me?"
She had scooted closer to her, catching the few quick flickers of reaction in his eyes at what she said and the brunette we more than eager to hear what he had to say. With her he had to speak. Of course, if it all was true she'd be in a pickle. She didn't see Merle in that way and never would. If it came to be that he felt that way for her despite his avid saying that she was like a little sister...she wouldn't know what to feel or say. She'd probably faint. His loving her would only complicate things more with Daryl and with Beth. She'd just got the teen to trust her and just to have that swept away would only remind her of her and Daryl. She couldn't lose someone else she loved. Not again. Tense silence rang in the air as Merle looked away and her heart seemed to fall into her belly.
Dear God, please don't do this to me! Don't forsake me once more!
He looked into her eyes with nothing but truth in them. "I love ya...but I ain't in love with ya."
It took all of her will power not to collapse on the floor and roll around with relief. She thanked God and all the weight of "what ifs" that had begun to pile on her shoulders was lifted. On the inside her chest elated with the relief she felt and to relieve it she let out a quiet breath, hoping he wouldn't hear it.
"But you said it?" She asked in a whisper.
He nodded with surety. "Yea...but I didn' know my girl was listenin' right outside tha damned door." He hissed.
Obviously he was severely pissed with himself and MaryJane felt guilty for a while.
"So...you're not in love with me?"
Merle thought for a moment her question made him question her. His brows furrowed in the slightest, but he saw the relief mixed in her whiskey colored eyes.
He shook his head again, emphasizing his shake. "Nah, I ain't. I look at ya an' I see tha little sista I ain't never had. Yer hot an' all, but I'd never make moves on ya. It jus'...Eee!" He shivered, forcing his body to mock shiver.
"Oh, good!" She gasped, her face lighting up and that was the first time since yesterday that he saw the happen.
It reminded him of the old her that was always lit up. What he would give to see her blush again.
"Ya ain't in love with me, is ya?" He asked with a hint of teasing.
"No! No!" She responded quickly and loudly, her eyes widening with something akin to mortification. "I feel the same way about you. You're like the older brother I never had. I don't think I'd like to kiss your mouth from all the dirty words and jokes that come out of it."
He chuckled. There was that girl he knew. "I'd still kiss yer cheek."
She rolled her eyes with a weak grin. "Sure..." In those few seconds of silence she grew deathly serious. "I'd like an answer to my question."
"Wha' question?" He asked, not trying to evade this time, but genuinely forgetful.
"Do you care for Beth?" She repeated gently, like a mother soothing her child.
It wasn't an essay question, but she understood that Dixon family didn't expose their emotions easily unless to each other. He was silent for a while and she knew it only took time and patience and maybe a little relentlessness on her part. If she was good at anything it was being relentless towards understanding another person's feelings. Especially the Dixon brothers. She gave him his time, but she wasn't disheartened by his silence, in fact it told her that he was thinking and thinking seriously about it. That's what she wanted.
When he finally spoke she wanted to thank the big man upstairs for helping him find his voice.
"...I...I care...yea...I..." He cleared his throat. "I think...I think I need 'er too. Jus'...yea...I care 'bout 'er an' wha' happens ta her."
Thrilled, MaryJane smiled at him, placing her hand over his bruised knuckles to show her support and delight with his admittance. It wasn't the answer she wanted, but he admitted that he cared and needed her. It was a good start.
"You need to tell her that then. Tell her that you care and that you need her." She encouraged whole-heartedly. "I have a feeling she's going to feel terribly awkward, but you need to talk to her, assure her that you don't love me in any other way than family. She about died when she thought you wanted me instead of her. I swear she was going to hate me for the rest of my life." She frowned at the memory. "Even now I think she's still feeling resentful towards me. I can see it in her eyes at times."
"Ya think she'll understand?" He asked deeply and weakly.
It seemed that when the Dixons spoke weakly their voices got deeper. It was a sexy trait, one that just made MaryJane melt when Daryl spoke like it. Her eyebrows shot up and the uncertainty behind his question. His eyes just spilled anxiety. She wasn't about to lose the opportunity to tease him.
"Is the Almighty Merle Dixon really unsure of his convincing abilities?" She teased, her eyes narrowed on him.
"Shut up." He chuckled, nudging her arm playfully.
She giggled, but grew serious to reassure him. "I think she will. She loves you, Merle." She wasn't for sure, but she swore she saw his face soften at her words. "...and I know somewhere deep inside you, you feel the same way."
The whiskey eyed woman thought that he did, but he just didn't know it yet.
MaryJane left Merle, leaving him in a rather strange state. He didn't know how to feel or what to think. If he'd known that's what she wanted to talk about he would've liked a heads up. Though, it made him start to question himself and how he felt. He'd been telling the truth when he said that he cared about Beth and he'd be lying if he said he didn't need her. He was drawn to her and why was something he was unsure of. He thought that maybe it was because of how beautiful her voice was when she sang or the way she elegantly walked around the prison. Maybe it was from the gentle aura she radiated. Something made him want to be near her. He realized that the desire to be around her had transformed, pun intended, into a need to be around her.
She reminded him of a drug and every time she was around him she was his fix. He could walk away and not think of her until the withdrawal symptoms came and he'd return for relief. However, the theory of going back would make it go away, but it only made it worse. It made him want to be around her more and more. Even to that day he was aware that he needed her, not only because she was like a drug, but because she reminded him of what was innocent in the world. She was young and untouched by the cruelties he had to face. Beth was something beautiful, something fragile and something Merle wanted to guard and protect. She was his fragile thing to possess and protect. Even before they kissed and locked bodies she'd been his. From the first day he realized he needed her she belonged to him.
Of course, he knew, looking back on it all, he'd been kidding himself in thinking that he could live without her presence. She was always there and being so close to something made it hard to break away and his attachment to her grew from the moment he laid eyes on her. He just hadn't realized it. Now, after talking to MaryJane he was well aware that it had been the case all along. Like it was with Daryl and her. He'd given Daryl for hell acting all attached to MaryJane, but it only made him eat his own words when it finally happened to him and he understood what Daryl went through. It made him realize how much alike they really were.
At that moment, Merle realized that MaryJane had been hinting at the idea that if he didn't tell Beth how he felt then he would lose her. And that wasn't an option. Yet, he wasn't sure if he could say it to her. Sure, he told MaryJane he cared and loved her, but it was MJ. He didn't know why he couldn't, but he knew it had something to do with his shitty childhood and adult life. Merle wasn't about to throw himself a fucking pity part because he was past all of that bullshit. He wanted to focus on the future and surviving another day. He wanted to focus on a future that involved Beth, his brother and MJ.
Though, what if, when the time came…he couldn't do it and he lost her?
Beth looked up when MaryJane entered thirty minutes after she left in a hurry. The blonde gazed at her curiously, hoping to get an explanation.
"Everythin' okay?" She asked, seeing how MJ was looking rather despondent.
"Mm-hm," MaryJane hummed with a confident grin.
She was holding something back and she never held anything back from Beth before and it made her wonder if it had to do with her or her significant other. She wanted to ask, but she doubted MaryJane would tell her. Despite that, Beth recalled their conversation on her feelings towards Merle. She told the truth and the older woman's words were starting to come back to her, especially since Daryl and MJ's fall out. It made her want to tell Merle how she felt, lest something happen to him…or to her.
Because what if Merle went on a run and didn't come back? What if the Governor attacked and Beth didn't survive? What if the prison got overrun and either one didn't survive? What if she and Merle had a fall out like Daryl and MaryJane and they went separate ways?
Those were the looming possibilities that literally made her blood run cold. Especially the thought of him dying. So, she decided that MaryJane was right in telling her to go ahead and tell him. If she waited then it might be too late, waiting every day would be one day lost for opportunities. She sure as hell didn't want for them to break up and suffer like MJ did so, she would just do it and be damned the consequences. If he pushed her away and yelled at her she would accept it, no matter how much it hurt her. If he accepted then that would be the best day of her life. Though, she had a sickly feeling that his reaction wouldn't be the latter.
Wait. Didn't MaryJane say that he cared for her too? Can't Beth see it for herself that he cares just from the little things he does like soft glances or the gentle rub of his finger against hers? She wanted to believe it was a sign of his compassion for her, but with Merle Dixon you could never be sure. She supposed she was going to figure that out soon enough.
"I'm gonna tell him." Beth blurted out.
MaryJane glanced up from the sleeping infant and furrowed her brows in confusion.
"Tell who what?"
"Merle," Beth replied and MJ's expression softened. "I'm gonna tell him that I love him."
Whiskey eyes appraised her with a sparkle in them and the woman placed a hand on her hip.
"Good, that's great. When are you going to do it?" She asked curiously, her free hand resting on the side of the makeshift crib.
Beth hesitated, not having thought that far ahead. "Um…I was thinkin' tanight."
MaryJane smiled wide at her. Good for her. She finally found her courage to tell Merle her feelings. MJ sure didn't have the guts to do that for Daryl in the past and she couldn't go up to him without fearing a blow up in her face. She doubted there was anything she could say to him that would make him not want to spit in her face.
"Good for you. I'm glad to hear that, Beth. That takes guts. I tell you…I wouldn't be able to do such a thing to Daryl in high school. I didn't think he'd feel the same way so I just left well alone." MaryJane explained in a quiet tone.
A merry grin plastered Beth's face. She always liked hearing about what went on between her and Daryl in the past.
"Who made tha first move? Daryl?" She inquired curiously.
The brunette nodded. "It was actually my Christmas break from college as a freshman. I came home, visited my parents for a while then drove to Daryl's house where we spent most of the day together wandering the woods. It was there we first kissed."
Surprised, Beth gaped. "Really? Ya knew him for a little over a year and it took ya'll all that time ta kiss?"
MaryJane shrugged. "I guess it took that separation of college from each other to get us to realize that we were more than just friends. I know I wanted to jump his bones when I saw him for the first time. I did jump him, but not in the dirty way."
Beth winked and giggled mischievously. "Like in The Notebook?"
"Minus the rain and dramatic music." She joked earning another giggle.
MJ giggled with the blonde, but coming back to the present made her smile fade. Things were different and their relationship was far from what it was in that memory. In fact, it was the exact opposite. He hated her and she was moping after him like a lost puppy and that analogy wasn't too far from the truth.
"It was good times…times that went by too fast." She mused glumly, wishing that she could go back into the past and stay there forever.
Though, it wasn't an option. Beth frowned at her friend's forlorn expression and felt guilty for even bringing it up.
"You let me know how it goes?"
Beth broke from her short reprieve and focused on MaryJane who stared hopeful at her. She smiled and nodded.
"Yeah, I will,"
MaryJane offered her a ghost of a smile and returned her gaze to Judith who hummed lightly with every breath she took. The blue eyed girl just watched her older friend whose face grew flushed, almost like she was ready to burst into tears. When she bit down on her lip, Beth knew she was very right. Her gut pitted and guilt flared in her blood. She hurried over when a lone tear fell down MaryJane' cheek, a pitiful sound crackling from behind her clenched teeth and closed mouth. Her lean fingers gripped the side of Judith's crib tightly, her knuckles turning white from the pressure. Beth was at her side in an instant and she wrapped her arms around her friend's waist from behind, burying her cheek in between her shoulder blades.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," She chanted softly and mournfully.
She felt a warm hand grab one of hers that was wrapped around her and squeeze it. A quiet sob broke through MJ's trembling lips. She lowered her head as the tears began to flow freely from her eyes like a waterfall. Beth held her, whispering comforting words to her and she eventually began to sing a soft song that sounded like a lullaby. The whiskey eyed woman focused on her beautiful, humming bird-like voice that fluttered in the air with harmony. She let the teenager soothe her, because Beth was the only one who fully understood her inner agony. Neither girls knew how long they stood there, but when the baby in the crib began to stir, they wiped their tears away and focused on the thing that meant more than their feelings.
MaryJane put on a strong face and smiled down at the infant who looked more than happy to see her. After Judith was fed, burped, bounced and read to, it had entered into early afternoon. Beth had finally taken notice of MaryJane's backpack and offered her top bunk to her for the night and the nights in the future. The student teacher took her up on her offer without hesitation, unsure she could climb those stairs towards Daryl's lonely cell. Just knowing that it was there made her chest ache dully. She quickly dropped her bag off in Beth's cell and returned to Judith who was babbling as she played with her stuffed teddy bear. Her heart grew and joy filled her at the sight. She was so beautiful that it physically hurt.
It gave her a few minutes of ignorance from the harshness of the world outside and of the pain within the prison walls. Beth had been right when she called Judith a rendezvous with paradise. She made it so easy to forget everything but her and her innocence. It terrified her knowing that she was going to grow up in the world they lived in now, always having to wonder if she was going to survive the day. It was a very sobering thought, but she reminded herself that Judith wouldn't ever be alone. There would always be someone around for her. That filled MaryJane with confidence.
"Ya gonna go ta dinner?" Beth asked as MaryJane cooed at the baby.
Her stomach should've grumbled at the mention of food, but her stomach didn't. It almost seemed to flop uncomfortably at the idea. She shook her head.
"No, I'm not feeling hungry. You can go ahead if you want…though I would request an apple for later if it wouldn't be too much trouble." She said hopeful.
Beth grinned and nodded. "Sure,"
"Thanks, doll," Whiskey eyes thanked.
When Beth entered the mess hall she wasn't surprised to see Daryl missing, but she was surprised to find Merle missing from the table. She quickly masked her surprise at his vacant seat and proceeded into the room, taking a place beside her sister who greeted her cheerfully. When Maggie asked about MaryJane Beth told her that she was looking after Judith. Rick and Con were talking quietly near the front and Hershel was speaking with Slim and Bev. No one seemed to be missing Merle or Daryl at all. She knew Rick probably suspected something, but kept his nose out of it unless he felt necessary. She liked that about him.
Beth chatted with Charlie, Maggie and Glenn, but kept glancing at Merle's empty seat and the door, hoping that he would come through it any second. While listening to Glenn and Charlie her blue eyes looked for Jeremy and surprise, surprise, he was absent as well. A cold chill went down her spine with the knowledge that he had free reign and was creeping around the prison doing God knows what. Suddenly, a protective fire sparked in her heart and it made her hand curl into a fist around her fork. When MaryJane was alone then it gave that creep the full opportunity to catch her when she was vulnerable.
That thought made her swallow her dinner in a hurry.
As promised, Beth brought her an apple after she got done eating, well, inhaling her food. She tossed her friend the fruit and told her about Merle missing dinner. MaryJane didn't give much away and Beth just let it go, telling her that when the others went to bed she was sneaking to see Merle and tell him everything. MJ even offered to distract the others, but they both knew it would be best waiting until everyone was asleep or on watch. So…it all became a waiting game. Several hours later the sun finally went down, cloaking the prison in darkness. Judith was fast asleep and everyone was pretty much tucked into bed. MaryJane was wide awake on the top bunk, her eyes tracing the imperfections in the concrete ceiling. Finally, at somewhere around eleven she heard the bunk beneath hers creak.
"Good luck," MaryJane whispered.
"Thanks," Beth replied, matching her whisper.
When her friend's footsteps faded MaryJane closed her eyes, determined to get sleep that night despite the chill that Daryl usually kept away.
Beth crept up the metal stairs, cringing when they creaked in protest at times. Being naturally light footed she made it with very few problems to Merle's cell. She was surprised to find the curtain pulled and a dim light within, probably from the candle. She stopped before the curtain, making out the fuzzy silhouette of the man she loved sitting on his bunk.
She took a deep breath, trying to calm her racing heart. Come on, Bethy, it's now or never.
Lifting her shoulders in confidence, she pulled the curtain back. Her eyes immediately locked with Merle's icy blue ones. It was at that moment that all her confidence and words left her. All she could do was tell herself that she loved him over and over again in her head. Her heart rushed in her chest, ready to beat its way from her ribcage. Breathing suddenly became a chore and her hands began to tremble with the weight of her decision. Merle opened his mouth to say something, but Beth beat him to it.
"I love ya,"
His mouth shut, his eyes growing wide, something akin to panic crossing his features. Breathing heavily through her mouth she felt tears prick at the corners of her eyes at his dumbfounded expression.
"I love ya, Merle," She repeated weaker this time.
Merle's jaw ticked and he stood, his missing hand exposed from the lack of his bladed cover. He turned away from her, his mind spinning uncontrollably. It definitely wasn't going the way he wanted it to. Now, he was at loss for words and he felt like a scared animal stuck in a corner. But…he couldn't deny that her words made something in him soar. He couldn't help but want to pull her into his arms or tell her to leave. He wanted to tell her many things, but he didn't think he was able to. Beth swallowed back the large lump in her throat, feeling the striking pain of denial stab in her chest. She couldn't give up though. She wouldn't walk away until he either confirmed or denied what MaryJane thought true.
MaryJane said that she would have to fight for what she wanted. If she kept strong and was relentless then it would pay off. She just hoped that it finally would.
"I need ya, Merle…I need ya more than anythin' else. After everythin' we've been through and done together I can't help but want ya more and more. I can't live unless I know yer there and yer gonna want me back. I want ya like ya are and I want ya forever or as long as you'll have me. If there's one thing I'm certain of it's the love I've come to feel for ya. I ain't too young ta know what love is. I've seen true love with my own eyes in Daryl and MJ and I know that I love you and I always will…" A tear slipped down her cheek as she stared at his tense back. "…if ya don't feel tha same way jus' tell me and we'll forget this ever happened. I'll forget my petty little feelins' and I'll leave ya alone. Jus'…tell me that ya need me…"
Merle was deathly silent and the cell just festered with the tension. They stood there a long time and Merle almost forgot that she was there. Her body trembled with the weight of her feelings that seemed to be ignored by the oldest Dixon.
Dear God! She was a fool! She was so stupid as to believe that he would really want her! She was only a child after all! A little girl he was so eager to fuck like she was a real woman! What changed? Was it her doing this? She didn't know, but all she felt was the tingles of rejection in her nerves that poked her everywhere. She wanted to just crawl into a hole and die. What an idiot she just made of herself by taking MJ's word! Her next instinct was to run and she turned to do so.
"If ya run then I'll jus' drag ya back." He growled, unable to let her walk away.
She froze. Merle turned back to face her lean body, her golden hair falling down her back like a gold waterfall. Beth slowly turned to face him to see his blue eyes dark and his face stern. A shiver of fear fell down her spine at the level of intensity on his aged face. He slowly started to walk towards her, each step predatory and his eyes never leaving hers.
"Yer askin' if I need ya an' tha answer's 'yea' and yer askin' if I care fer ya. Answer's 'yea'. Yer askin' if I'll let ya walk away. Answer's 'fuck no'…" He stopped a foot in front of her, his broad form towering over her like a mountain. "…if ya think that we'll both leave this without repercussions then ya mus' be more fuckin' blonde than I thought…all I fuckin' know is that e'ery time I think o' ya…I wanna be with ya."
Beth gaped at Merle, face showing nothing but pure shock. Words left her and all she could do was stare at him like a cod fish. Was she dreaming? Was this just something she imagined could happen while she was walking away? Did she trip down the stairs and fall into a coma and dream this up? Merle took her surprise as something good and stepped even closer, her head tilting back to keep eye contact with him.
"I ain' gonna let ya go, Beth. I need ya too much ta let ya go. I'd rather cut off my other fuckin' arm than let ya leave me." He added deeply and painfully.
His words cut through her and her entire body slumped from exhaustion. She released the heavy breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. Merle watched as a tear slid down her cheek and a quiet sob broke from her chest. He stepped toward until their bodies were inches from each other and carefully began lowering his head towards hers. She gasped in between her sobs of relief until they were cut off by his lips meeting hers. Beth closed her eyes tightly, pressing her mouth firmer against Merle's. The tango of their lips became passionate moments after it started, the wet sounds and moans harmonizing their desperation for one another.
Her dainty hands rose up to cling to his back, pressing his firm chest against hers, wanting to feel that delicious friction that he sparked in her. Their tongues met in a desperate spar her arms sliding around his neck after feeling the familiar muscles of his back. A deep grunt rumbled in his chest as his own eyes closed, tasting the sweet taste of her mouth. There. He'd finally admitted it, his feelings. MaryJane had been right too, he felt so much better and it had nothing to do with his steamy situation with Beth. A weight seemed to be lifted off his shoulders, leaving only the desire to claim what was rightfully his. Keeping their mouths locked, Merle leaned down, his good arm wrapping under her bottom. Beth felt the pressure and she jumped up, wrapping her legs around his waist.
She instantly felt the hardness against her abdomen. The blonde moaned deeply, her insides melting and turning into hot molten lava that heated her core, that sensual itch returning between her thighs. Having learned from the best, Beth knew how to regulate her oxygen to keep a good kiss going for a while. Every bit of time seemed to stop and all they felt was each other. Beth hadn't realized Merle had crossed the room until she felt her back hit the bed, his large form towering over her own smaller one.
It was then their kiss was broken and they stared into each other's eyes. A deep connection ran through them, their bodies knowing each other, but never seeming to have enough. Seconds passed when Merle claimed her lips again, his hands traveling under her shirt to touch her soft skin. Seconds turned into delicious minutes as clothes were shed, skin was worshiped and intimate places joined in that sweet serenity of pleasure. It took all of Beth's strength to not cry out as he thrust into her, her name slipping past his lips almost inaudibly. Her body tingled with delight as she felt the itch vanish, leaving nothing but raw feeling of ecstasy. She never would've thought that she would experience something so beautiful with a man who seemed so wrong for her.
But damn her to hell, she loved him and always would.
Across the way, the small form of Carol stopped in front of Daryl's cell. The silver haired woman crossed her arms and leaned against the metal frame. The tracker sat at his desk, cleaning his Beretta pistol a little roughly. He didn't even seem to notice her, his mind in a whole different world where Carol didn't belong…the past.
"Can I talk to you?" Her small voice asked, breaking the silence.
Another semi-cliff hanger? Oh, yes. Will Carol convince Daryl in Chapter 15? Will Daryl see the error of his ways or will it be too late when he does? Tune in next time for the answer. Please review and let me know.
AN: I have a facebook page up for my fanfictions. The page name is LabyFan23's FanFictions so go and like my page and I'll put updates on there for my stories and artwork. :)
REMINDER: Please take the poll on my profile concerning the franchise of story I should write next. A new Walking Dead is in the lead and I have a good one in mind. Planning has already begun, but another might rise before it! If you can take a few moments to pop on over and just click away. :)
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Happy Writing!