WHAT DO YOU THINK HAPPENED AFTER XENA LEFT?

She left without looking back. She definitely left with the unshakable conviction that this was the right thing to do…for him…or maybe for both of them. She left determined to gather whatever strength she still had within her to cut him out of her life for good, to forget everything related to him and to their glorious, plans together ...She made a solemn promise to Lyceus that night- to never hold a sword again in her life and to start over- and yes, she had every intention to keep it. She had never broken a promise before so she was not going to start now...

"It's never too late…" -those were her brother's last words- uttered right before he closed his eyes for the last time- and this is probably what he meant by them- the Warrior Princess told herself- while burying her sword and her chakram at the outskirts of Amphipolis, just a few yards away from the painfully familiar tomb….

"It's never too late" she whispered, sounding rather nostalgic than eager to see what the future had in store for her, glancing one last time at the wet ground beneath her feet- the place that she had carefully chosen as a burial site for her troubling past…"I sure hope you're right…" she added, a tear gliding down her cheek at the awareness that things were never going to be the same again. She was sad- sadder than she had ever been. Everything inside her ached tremendously, and each new breath felt like a knife to the heart - the pain equalling in intensity the one she had felt that tragic moment when her beloved brother had died in her arms….

...Nevertheless, the wretched feeling of solitude taking over her…now that was way, way worse and this time there was no one to hold her and to whisper against her ear that everything would be fine- that what happened would kill her on the inside, but that eventually the wounds would heal…that she would wake up one day and her soul would feel whole again despite the ugly scars that would be undoubtedly engraved on its shiny surface.

…All she needed was him now…What an irony! He was the only one who could make the pain vanish in a heartbeat but at the same time he was precisely the one she was running away from….and there was no going back- not if her presence in his life meant his death…No…that was something that she knew she could never face- the idea itself paralyzed her soul in fear….It was done. She had made her choice.

In the eerie silence of the night, with heavy, unhurried steps, Xena headed for her mother's inn…the place that she and Lyceus used to call a home back in the days where they were too naïve to see that the shabby looking hovel was anything but….Her father's heavy drinking, the constant fighting, her mother's hopeless screams…..Their illusion shattered to little pieces around the age of seven when she finally started to understand things….when she realized that they had been living in a fantasy world all along and that Torris had run away from home simply because he couldn't stand seeing his mother's bruised face and bleeding lip every day…..That's when all her previous dreams were burnt to a crisp like fine butterfly wings and a new, powerful ambition took over- to be able to protect her mother…her family….

She had never felt safe though underneath that roof. She had never known paternal love and, sadly enough, she had never considered her father a hero like all the other girls she played with from time to time- just for Lyceus' sake who had a crush on the next door neighbor- Anthea, a lovely little girl who was at that time as tall as a recently planted flower bush.

…She had always wondered what it felt like for her father to hold her in his strong arms while she feel asleep, to tell her bedtime stories, to stick up for her no matter what…to make her feel like she was important, that she was loved….She had never had the chance to enjoy anything similar though- not until Ares had barged into her life, the only one who -even in the absence of words- had showed her all the affection she had been missing throughout the years…For the very first time, she gradually got to discover that something had changed….She finally felt secure, and more than that , she had that unique, indescribable feeling that she belonged somewhere, that she was wanted…that she had somehow become the center of someone's universe…

He had been everything to her- her friend, her brother, her father, her lover, her confidant, and sometimes, when she was out of line, she could swear he sounded just like Cyrene too…

A few silent tears found their way to her tightly pressed lips as she reached the village, and she gulped nervously just before her knuckles hit the door. She had to force herself- even if that meant doing the impossible- to forget him. She had to…..Despite the deafening sounds of her hysterically crying soul, she had to stay strong and accept the fact that this was the right thing to do- at least that's what her gut told her. One of the many lessons the War God himself had made sure to reinforce, was that true warriors always follow their reason not their weak, foolish hearts, after all...

Two minutes later, the distinct sound of steps coming down the stairs could be heard. For a fleeting moment, she panicked, almost forgetting the reason why she had decided to come back, in the first place. Her brother's voice, still echoing inside her head though and those dramatic images of her little girl's death, Ares lying in a pool of blood at the base of the altar while trying to stop Athena from killing her….

A loud, resonating slap brought her back to reality, along with a grave, steely voice that she knew so very well...

" I thought I made myself clear the last time you came knocking at my door. I never want to see you again Xena! For me, and for everyone else in this village, you died the day my boy died! "

XXX

The night had fallen over the gloomy Halls of War for some time now, and yet, not one candle had been lit in the God's suddenly too large chambers…He couldn't seem to stand anything these days, let alone light- that accursed light that was always keen on reminding him of her….Somehow, everything appeared to be connected with her….- her red nightgown, thrown casually over the back of an armchair, the dark rose he had left for her on the nightstand that very morning- just like he always did when he had to leave early- a silver necklace and a pair of earrings she had worn at their last party on Olympus- still lying on the nightstand- and on top of that, her bewitching perfume….still lingering in the air, keeping him glued to that chair….

Believe it or not, he hated her…- or that's what he mechanically repeated every ten minutes while sipping on another glass of wine.

Despite his somber expectations , the first day without her had been bearable….For a few hours, he actually managed to trick his brain into directing his attention to a bunch of surprisingly well trained soldiers struggling to stay alive by slaying their enemies on a battlefield somewhere, than to the anxiety their last conversation had left behind…..Blood was always a solution, at least according to him, so the brutality of the scene did solve his problem for awhile, but only for awhile…Once the adrenaline and the excitement were gone, his thoughts started going haywire…

He was sad, furious, frustrated, perplexed, disappointed and hurt at the same time, and for nothing in the world could he understand this avalanche of emotions ruling him, just like he couldn't find the logic behind her accursed decision….Had he done something wrong? Was the whole Oracle thing just some lame excuse, some stupid scenario she had invented just to get away from him?! Was there something else on her mind, something she had adamantly refused to share with him?

During the second day, things only got even worse….This time, he killed a few soldiers himself and nearly beheaded a couple of priestesses just for the sake of burning some steam…He already missed her terribly- a ridiculous feeling - as he insisted on telling himself every time his hand instinctively rose to open up a portal, eager to extinguish the fire that was now consuming his soul….

He barely made it through that second night, pacing like a caged animal up and down the room, staring like a lunatic at her things, frantically looking for the answer his mind was craving to find….- none of them appeared to satisfy him though, for something just didn't seem to click….

Now the third day….let's just say that it was a good thing none of the priestesses had the guts to knock at his door- the frightening noises of walls exploding, of broken mirrors and vases scattering in pieces on the floor and of marble columns and statues colliding with whatever was left intact in the room- kept everyone away…Nothing made him feel better though, and once the sun had set and the darkness came creeping through the window and into his mind, an equally dark idea stirred his vivid imagination…..

In the blink of an eye he was gone, only to reappear moments later in the sinister looking altar where he knew he would find the priestess who had turned his life upside down.

" Hello, Pythia. " he greeted coldly, his unusually dark eyes sparkling with malice.

" Ares….It was about time. I have been waiting for you…."

" Good. That means you know why I'm here. "

" Of course I do….The question is….do you?"