Author's Note: Okay, I'm swapping the POV again to Riley.
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Rule #133: Pudding is no longer allowed on base.
(By order of everyone who dares to hate the utter epicness that is pudding.)
(You suck, Ratchet.)
(Does this have something to do with that prank I pulled on Prowl when I dumped vanilla pudding on him during recharge?)
(When I got reprimanded for it, this was my response: "Sometimes I wonder what it's like to think. Then I have some pudding.")
(That didn't go over too well with Optimus.)
(I did a few days in the brig for this and I had to apologize to Prowl for it.)
Rule #134: Claiming that your ordinary everyday car is a Transformer is not a good idea.
(For realsy.)
(Sunny Brooke, you realize we Autobots have jobs to do so we can't drive you around all the time.)
(But I will say it was pretty epic to see the pictures of the looks on people's faces when you told me about Whirlwind dropping you off at school.)
(Just sayin'.)
(But then he got in trouble 'cause we're supposed to be discreet.)
(So after getting fed up with being her chauffer, every one of the Autobots gave her cash to buy a used car.)
(... I don't even wanna know where the others got it. O.o)
(But anyways, Sunny bought herself a car and started complaining it wasn't the same as having an Autobot driving her around.)
(I told her she'd get used to it.)
(That next week, I noticed she had a devious look in her eyes and approached Ironhide.)
("What's up, 'Hide? Guess what? About that car I recently bought... I wanna introduce you properly. His name is Junkheap. Don't be fooled by the name 'cause he's a rough and tough Decepticon warrior. Now. Who wants some Cheez-Its?")
(I don't think I've ever seen the Rec Room get so quiet before.)
(Before anyone could do anything, Sunny raced out of the room with Ironhide chasing her, cannons powering up.)
(If we were on Diego Garcia, she would've been driving around in circles.)
(Fortunately for her, we were currently camped out in the base in Alabama.)
(But seriously, guys, I don't think Sunny is that stupid to bring a Decepticon warrior to the base.)
(I'm the freaking Allspark! I would've sensed that car was alive! Jeez.)
(In fact... I'm pretty sure everyone would've sensed the Decepticon energy signature and it would've shown up on the scanners.)
(Thanks to Ironhide's relentless tracking, he found Sunny's house and took Junkheap.)
(That next day, Sunny was called out to the weapons range for a meeting.)
(Ironhide proceeded to tell her about how he and the other questioned Junkheap and how he wouldn't say anything even after Ratchet beat him with a wrench.)
(Everyone proceeded to open fire on Junkheap until it was reduced to a smoldering pile of scrap.)
(Not that I don't think Sunny cared or anything.)
(It's just now me and the others have to play chauffer to her again until she gets another car.)
(Oh, joy. *sarcasm*)
Rule #135: It's really not a good idea to hide Ratchet's wrenches.
(He will find them.)
(It may take him a while, but he'll find them.)
(And when he gets his hands on them...)
(RUN.)
(The 'Vette twins should know better by now, but they're either really brave or really stupid to continue stealing those things.)
(If you have to know what they did, those two glitches welded a couple to the ceiling, scattered a couple more all over the base and painted faces on them.)
(As for the rest of Ratchet's collection of his tool of choice...)
(The twins shipped the wrenches to Russia, Japan, Germany, Africa, Vietnam, Alaska, and Canada.)
(To say Ratchet was pissed was a huge understatement.)
(Even Optimus didn't wanna go anywhere near Ratchet.)
Rule #136: Even though it's been put down a few times, I'm saying it again: do not under any circumstances piss off the femmes.
(We will rip off your limbs and beat you into stasis lock with them.)
(I threatened to rip Sunstreaker's interface appliance off and shove it down his throat.)
(After that, there was a lot of crossing hands and legs over crotches among the soldiers and male Autobots.)
(A few whispered threats and death glares left me smug all day at the looks I got on the Corvette and Chevy twins' faces.)
(Remember, boys: hell hath no fury like a femme scorned. Mwahahahaha!)
(Megatron and his boys know that from first-hand experience.)
Rule #137: The movie Cars is banned from base. Forever.
(Come on, Prowl! That movie is funny!)
(Especially the backwards driving scene. That's my favorite part! XD)
(I laugh until I can't breathe every time.)
(Plus it gave me and Isaiah ideas.)
(My parents and brother are the only people I trust enough to drive me in vehicle mode.)
(I'm pretty terrified to drive myself since I'm used to being human and sitting behind the wheel instead of working different controls with my head.)
(When I'm driving myself, I look like a nervous teen with a learner's permit behind the wheel for the first time.)
(But I hardly ever transform except when the occasion calls for it.)
(This was one of those times.)
(It was a genius idea, really.)
(With a little help from the 'Vette twins, we set up a track to mimic the one Mater used in the movie.)
(I even mimicked Hoist's vehicle mode for this.)
(We caught a lot of attention from soldiers and other Autobots when we started off.)
(Everyone thought it was epic.)
(Isaiah and I thought it was hysterical.)
(Especially since we used Ratchet as one of the traffic cones since he came from out of nowhere.)
(We nearly missed him, but we didn't care.)
(All the Doc Bot could hear from us was crazed cackling when we went into donuts around Prowl's foot and made him fall.)
(Fortunately we were out of the way when he went down.)
(After that, Prowl and Optimus caught us and demanded to know what we were thinking when we did it.)
(When I showed them the clip from the movie that inspired that stunt, Prowl reacted in the same fashion that Prowl reacts to anything illogical.)
(He glitched.)
(Optimus just shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose.)
(After Prowl came back online, he lectured me about how dangerous that stunt was and how I could've injured my brother or a nearby soldier for two hours.)
(After that, we were back at it, but I took Prowl's vehicle form and went through the track again with the lights and sirens blaring.)
(Smokescreen and a few others thought it was funny enough to join in.)
(Prowl glitched again and Ratchet went after everyone that got involved with a wrench.)
Rule #138: Riley, for the love of God, stop it with the fake blood already!
(Don't look at me. I had no part in this this time.)
(I swear!)
(But someone did start that up again with a Jurassic Park theme that I seriously wish I came up with first.)
(It was so elaborate, I would've needed help to pull it off if I were the one doing this.)
(Everyone woke up to find exotic plants and flowers all over the base that made the entire base look like a jungle.)
(I was impressed with it, but knew something was up when the moment I stepped out of my quarters, holograms kicked on to give me Cybertronian sized clothing to make me an Autobot femme version of Indiana Jones.)
(The more the others and I wandered the base, we started finding blood spattered on the leaves and ground before we stumbled on human bodies (clearly fake, of course) lying in a pool of fake blood before the fun really began when the ground started shaking.)
(Optimus, Prowl, and Ironhide sprinted past us, from time to time twisting around to shoot at something before a loud roar shook the island.)
(Grimlock and the other Dinobots had been covered in faux skin and wreaking havoc on the base, chasing everyone they found and roaring as loud as they could.)
(For added effect, their teeth and mouths were covered in fake blood).
(Needless to say, it freaked a lot of people out and some of those people ran fast enough to catch up with Optimus, Prowl, and Ironhide.)
(Hours later, the mayhem settled down after the Dinobots got bored and unwittingly ratted out both sets of the twins before I could be thrown in the brig for something I didn't do.)
(For once, I'm happy to be surrounded by idiots.)