Well...ahem...how goes? Has it been over six months since I posted last. Ah, so it is! Time flies by when you have fun! Not really. It was hardly fun for me. I have the usual excuses, life, school, jobs, but in my defense they are all very credible excuses. I apologize profusely for the gap of time since my last update. I hadn't forgotten about this story, it had been playing on my mind and with watching the new season my love for Daryl has only grown. I wanted to visit him again in this story once again since inspiration had me going, especially from Sunday night's episode. I'm looking forward to next week! While this chapter is shorter, I wanted to reintroduce back into where I left off and not drown you with details. I think it will suffice for now.

Like I said months ago, there is only a few chapters left in this story and I hope to have a calm resolution and be done with it before the new year that way I can start on my others. My next WD fic will be called "House of the Rising Sun" and, of course, it's a Daryl/Oc and the Oc...she is very interesting and I find her very amusing in her lonely state of madness. It has been on my mind since after starting Blackbird Song and even now I'm already planning ahead. I think my readers will enjoy her. Anyway, read on and please don't hate me for being absent for so long.

Disclaimer: You all know the drill by now. I own nothing you recognize or the people you know. I wish I owned the Walking Dead. I'd bring Merle back and save Hershel. That's just me.

Chapter 25

"I'll make you strong, MaryJane. We'll chase the ghosts away together."

MaryJane replayed Carol's words in her head, finding herself clinging to the promise in them. She was relieved that Carol understood why she snapped as she did, knowing what the tortuous guilt felt like. Soon, Carol promised, she would teach MaryJane anything and everything she wanted to know, including fighting and self-defense. While, MaryJane had some training in taking down a walker, she knew she was in way over her head should two or three come at her. Hell, she only shot a gun once and it was in a panic. The only real weapon she ever shot was Daryl's crossbow when they were teenagers. Her parents had shielded her from guns and rifles, none of them being activists for weapons. Her father was more vigilante, Batman-like. Hurt but never kill. He was serious about the ideology because he was a black belt in Aikido. Now, MaryJane was wishing she'd gone to a few of his classes with him.

Though, the start of her training wouldn't being until after the whole deal with Jeremy's suicide blew over. Besides, MaryJane was still needing to talk to Katie and settle the matter once and for all. The older woman was no doubt hidden away in her shared cell, thinking and rethinking the entire situation as deeply as she could. The ball was in her court now. MaryJane did as she planned and helped Beth and one-handed Merle with the laundry, the poor guy unable to fold clothes properly which soured his mood and made the girls laugh. Throughout the day, everyone kept mostly to themselves, especially Con who was no doubt at odds with his wife and doing everything in his power to give her space. He needed it too, that much was obvious. The prison was still crackling with activity, only a small cloud hanging over their mood, reminding them when they got too happy that it was still not the best time to allow it to show. There were still some that were deeply affected by Jeremy, his betrayal and his death. No doubt it all would still burn in their hearts for the rest of their days.

Beth and MaryJane traded slots with Emily and Carl to babysit the kids, keeping their watchful eyes on the little boys as they rough-housed on the ground, and wrestling. The girls had to shush them at times, reminding them that more of the monsters would come if they got too loud. It was a little unnecessary, but they wanted to be safe rather than sorry. Judith sat happily in MaryJane's lap, babbling away and grabbing the ends of her hair at time, studying the strange tendrils. Beth sat cross-legged beside her, tearing the long strands of the overgrown grass and tossing them into a pile, making a small patch of shorter grass.

"You alright?" She asked after letting nature command their attention.

Glancing down at her at her sudden question, MaryJane just looked away, smoothing Judith's hair on her head.

"Yeah…why?"

Beth shrugged, wanting to appear nonchalant. "No reason…ya jus' seem preoccupied is all…and Merle wanted me ta ask."

Chuckling at the added part about Merle, MaryJane grinned. "No surprises there." After a moment, she sighed, deciding that she would find out eventually. "I kinda snapped at Carol and Bev earlier."

The half-woman, half-kid's brows furrowed, lips parted. "Why?"

MaryJane licked her dry bottom lips, shaking her knee to bounce Judith for a little while. "I just got tired of everyone asking me if I was okay, looking at me and treating me differently because of what Jeremy put me through and what he did to the prison."

Beth opened her mouth to deny it all, but closed it when MaryJane cut her off.

"Don't deny it, Beth, I know you've noticed it too. I know Merle and Daryl both have but didn't want to say anything in fear of upsetting me. I don't blame them, but it didn't really sink in until today when Carol asked if I was alright. I snapped and when I explained myself she told me she understood what it felt like to be considered the weak one, someone that was expected to break whenever any bad thing happened and I admit that I have been that person. I'm surprised that I even lasted this long."

"Oh, MaryJane!" Beth exclaimed, placing a hand on her arm comfortingly.

"I just…I wanna get strong. I want to go on runs again. I want to carry a gun and protect the group. I want to be stronger than I am now. I've let Jeremy and his actions rule and weaken me. I can't continue to do that. I've gotta let it make me stronger and move on."

"And you will." The sweet blonde encouraged, beaming up at her.

MaryJane felt her heart grow warm at her smile, feeling so blessed to have this young girl as her best friend.

"I hope so."

Eager to hear more, Beth moved to sit on her knees, turning her body to face the side of hers.

"So, who's gonna train ya? Merle? He trained me and I know he can train ya ta be as good as him and Daryl."

MaryJane shook her head and Beth inquired as to who.

"Carol."

"Who else better?" Beth nodded. "You guys have been in pretty similar situations. She's a great teacher. When are ya'll gonna start?"

"As soon as I talk with Katie about Jeremy. That's hanging over my head right now and I want to have that distraction off my chest before Carol and I start. If I don't it'll affect my mental concentration."

It was understandable to the blonde. She knew that without mental discipline training to fight and shoot guns would be a moot point. When Merle was training her she had mental breakdowns because she was too scared and couldn't reign her mind in away from the negatives. It was all mental, she could agree.

"I wish you luck on talking to Katie. I know it won't be easy for either of you…but maybe she's realized that this was for the best, that Jeremy wasn't at all right." Beth hoped for MaryJane.

"Me too…" The older woman sighed.

Telling Daryl about MaryJane's decision to start training was taken better than MJ expected. He was very much for the idea, but still appearing very chill. Daryl knew it would finally hit his woman that she was stronger than what she had been and she had the potential to become a skilled fighter and gun wielder. While, he was a little jealous that Carol was going to teach her, he knew he wouldn't have the time to and he felt comfortable in leaving MaryJane in his friend's capable hands. She would train his Northern star well and he was damned proud to see her eagerness to be trained and strengthen herself. Her desire to better herself in any way was something about her he loved. She never wanted to stop learning. She had gone into great detail with him that night about the revelation she had over her reasoning to want to learn to shoot a gun and take down a walker with quicker reflexes. Of course, he had known all of what she spoke of, having already seen it in her and thought it all himself, but it was somewhat relieving to hear it from her own mouth. He doubted he'd stop worrying, but now his concern could be somewhat alleviated.

The next morning was the same as the one before, nobody was really talking unless they were spoken to or needed to and when they did it was just the passing of information. After Daryl left to check the fences, MaryJane went on her lone mission to find Katie, asking a few people if they had any as to where she might be. Once she began searching, she found her in the first place she looked, Con's cell he shared with Katie. The older woman was sitting on her bunk, staring at her hands and deep in thought.

"Katie?"

Startled, said woman jerked her head up, nearly releasing a yelp of surprise. When her eyes recognized MaryJane's face, a beaming smile spread across her face and she jumped from her seat and approached her.

"MaryJane! I'm so glad you came!" She exclaimed, hugging her without warning.

MaryJane stood stock still, shocked by the affection, but patted Katie's back to reciprocate, smiling weakly. Her mother figure released her, looking her over quickly.

"We need to talk, Katie."

She visibly deflated and nodded, sighing heavily. "You're right. Come on and sit down."

Awkward silence encompassed them, the other trying to decide the best way to start the conversation that could either end good or very badly.

"I stand by what I said a few days ago. About Jeremy and about my feelings towards him and what he did. I know you might prefer it if I forgave him, but in the world now forgiving is hard because so much tragedy is happening. There's nothing you can say or remind me about that will affect the way I feel about him. I just wanted you to know that and I understand if you can't agree with my decision, but it doesn't affect the way I feel about you. I still love you and there won't be a day when I'll stop…" The brunette trailed off, not sure if she should continue or leave it at that.

Katie listened thoughtfully to MaryJane and she only smiled when she finished. "I know, sweetie…I've had a lotta time ta think and rethink e'rything and I realized that I was out of line. I love Jeremy like he was my own and I guess my love and belief that he hadn't changed clouded my judgment. That's no excuse fer what I've said and done, but that was my logic about it. I should've rethought everything when even Con didn't stand beside me. He was sold on Jeremy and his evil doings, but a part of me still clung ta the idea that he was just lonely and didn't want ta lose a friend. I was completely out of line ta try and justify his actions against you 'cause what he did was wrong. You didn't deserve that…and I see now that he truly was ill…" She sighed. "…I know ya don't want to hear this after everything, but he really did love you and he would've done anything for ya, but he went about it the wrong way and saw Daryl as something ta lose ya to."

"You're starting to justify him, Katie." MaryJane reminded and Katie bit her bottom lip in shame.

"I'm sorry. I just love ya all so much that I want to believe that everything you all do is going to the best for yourselves. Jeremy was sick, yes, there wasn't any help for him, yes, he crossed many lines, yes, but he was still human who loved you too much. I think you should see that as his biggest flaw, MaryJane, not his jealously or anger. He died because he loved ya too much and that clashed with a man who loved you more. I'm not blaming you for his death, he made his choice like you said and that's on his soul." Katie placed a hand on top of MaryJane's. "If it's best for you to forget, I understand, in fact I encourage it. He's gone now and he can't hurt ya or us again. He's in a better place now and with those he loves in heaven. And I know, that if he could say anything ta you he'd encourage ya ta forget and move on."

Nodding, MJ licked her lips. "That's what the old Jeremy would say."

Katie frowned mournfully. "Yeah…I'm so sorry for practically standing against you, MaryJane. That was never my intention."

"You just wanted to see the good in him. I get that." MaryJane sympathized, turning her hand around to clutch Katie's. "Daryl and I made that connection a long time ago. Despite the evils he did you still loved him as your son and to me that's the best thing he destroyed. But did our words at his admittances give you a change of heart towards him?"

"Yeah, it did, but I guess I just didn't want ta believe it, that that sweet boy could do such terrible things, have such malicious thoughts and would want to kill us…after I left to think I realized that I hardly knew him. Almost a whole year of surviving with him I never truly knew him. None of us did."

"This world brings out the real person inside of each of us." The whiskey eyed woman said wisely.

The frown in Katie's face only depended. "Agreed…I just hate it that it had to be one of ours that turned that way."

MaryJane just shrugged heedlessly, looking less than saddened or sympathetic by her lamentation. "It's gotta be somebody."

"You've changed, MaryJane," Katie murmured woefully.

"After your best friend betrays you in the worst way and tries to kill your family and friends…ya kinda lose faith and sympathy." The younger woman shot back icily, her warm eyes cold.

Katie looked away from her, her cheeks growing warm as she flushed at the truth and for a moment, MaryJane reflected and realized what she said had been a little cold.

"But for what it's worth…" She began with more warmth than before. "…the dead rising up to eat the living has to be the biggest factor in us changing."

While, it wasn't smile worthy, Katie nodded, smiling a little at her poor attempt to cheer her up.

MaryJane bit the inside of her cheek before speaking again. "And I think it's time to forget and move on..."

Hope had the older woman's eyes lifting and baring into hers.

"…and it's not just me that needs to forget…you do, Con does…we all do…and it's time to move on from it, we can't be weak about it anymore. We can't be weak about anything in the world now. We have to pick up and move on unless we wanna die…and I don't know about you, but I don't want to die…not yet."

They stared into each other's eyes for what felt like an eternity, both contemplating what was said, one hoping to convince the other of the cold hard truth. Tears began to re-glisten in Katie's eyes and MaryJane saw that despite their bared feelings it would be hard for Katie to just forget on move on. She'd already expected it, but she hoped that she would eventually and this was a good start to it. Water began to drip down her cheeks and she smiled weakly at the young woman beside her.

"I'll try, MaryJane…as God as my witness I'll try. I wanna forget too, but ya know me, I form emotional attachments too quickly and they're too strong. I promise you that he'll be put ta rest and we ain't never gonna speak of him again. I know that's what ya need ta move on. Ya have Daryl and he loves ya…that's all ya need, MaryJane, ya gotta life after Jeremy."

MaryJane felt her own, involuntary tear slip down her cheek and she sniffed, swallowing the lump in her throat. She wiped the drop away, feeling another getting ready to breach the surface. Katie reached out and cupped MaryJane's face gently, her thumb wiping the second tear away as it fell.

"I love ya, MaryJane, you're so beautiful and kind…don't lose that…no matter what's happened or gonna happen don't lose your kindness. Still have faith in some people, they ain't all bad."

MaryJane bit her bottom lip apprehensively before nodding. "I've tried and I'm gonns keep trying…but things are gonna be different for me, Katie. I'm gonna stand on my own two feet and take a real part in this group. I wanna be more than just a babysitter or stuck doing chores. I wanna be like Carol, able to switch from mother hen to hard protector and walker killer. I'm tired of being weak and everybody else looking out for me. For once…I'm gonna look out for them."

Katie dropped her hand and grabbed the two of hers, beaming brightly through her wet eyes. "That's great, sweetie! But ya were never weak, honey…ya was just more prone ta bein' the mother hen and makin' sure e'erybody was okay, but after what's happened I can understand why ya feel that way. I wish ya luck. Who's gonna help ya out?"

"Carol," The brunette answered with a hint of pride.

"Oh, she's very good." Katie grinned, thinking of the silver haired woman with fondness.

"I know, I think I'm very lucky she wanted to help me. I'm looking forward to it."

The greying older woman squeezed her hands. "Con and I will back ya one-hundred and ten percent, honey."

"Thanks…are we good now? I know there was some awkward tension between after…and I don't want it to keep the rift between us." MaryJane asked hopefully.

Katie smiled widely. "Of course we are! I'm so sorry it even happened in the first place. I hope you can forgive an old woman for her one track mind!"

MaryJane giggled. "I think I can."

After a moment of silence between them, Katie leaned forward and hugged her surrogate daughter and MaryJane hugged her back, tightly, relishing the warm embrace of a mother figure. Neither wanted to break the meaningful hug, but they both pulled away, smiling at each other. MaryJane folded a strand of hair behind her ear.

"I've heard that Daryl is planning to go on a run tomorrow." Katie commented and MaryJane nodded.

"Yep. I wish I could go with him, but I'm obviously not fully trained to where Daryl would let me. He doesn't wanna hear talk of me stepping outside the prison walls even if he's with me."

Katie grinned slyly at her. "Well, Daryl's a protective man by nature and even more so when it concerns ya. It's really heart warmin' ta watch ya two. He's in love with ya, MaryJane. He may think he can hide it, but when he looks a ya…hardly anyone's blind ta his feelin's."

MaryJane stared at Katie considerately, feeling her heart swell at the mention of Daryl and his affections for her. She felt her cheeks grow uncomfortably warm as well as she remembered the feel of his naked skin on hers and how she had the terrible urge to feel him again.

"I love him too, more than anything."

Katie patted her hands. "I know ya do. Now…how 'bout you and me go check on that little one? I'm sure Beth needs a hand."

Immediately nodding, MaryJane's heart bloomed at the thought of little Judith. Standing together, they walked from the cell and as the stale air of the prison hit MaryJane, it didn't smell stale, but fresh and another layer of weight was lifted from her shoulders. She felt nearly free again.

Bright and early the next morning, Carol and MaryJane started on her training, working her body mostly, strengthening her arms and teaching her positions of self-defense. She had kissed Daryl goodbye, making him promise her that he'd be careful and he just grunted and rubbed his knuckles against the back of her hand. Daryl left with Rick, Maggie and Michonne, a strong four person team and although MaryJane was deeply worried about him, she knew none of them would allow anything to happen to him. One day soon, she was positive, she would be able to protect him herself on a run.

Daryl rode in the passenger seat beside Rick who was driving a Subaru van and contemplated his course of action, but his mental plans were distracted when the ghostly feeling of her lips on his had his mind going blank and thinking only of that. He tried to ignore the way his heart skipped a beat and he was well aware that there was no point in trying to stop it. He was fucking head over heels for her. Running the side of his forefinger along his mustache, he contemplated how their lives would turn out, if she would be willing to fully stick with him and allow nothing to come between them again. It was stupid fears, of course, to think she would do differently, but everyone still had their doubts, even stupid ones. He was silent as usual and Rick passed him a curious glance, knowing Daryl when he was brooding and planning. After their cryptic conversation a few days before, Rick knew the tracker had something up his sleeve and he was wanting to find out just what the sneaky redneck was up to.

After a thirty mile journey, they reached a small town, looking the exact same as the last one they hit weeks earlier. Every town and city looked about the same, dead, deserted, lifeless and cold. Though, there wasn't anything dead there because for all the group knew there could be a herd of walkers locked inside one of the buildings. They were on full guard as they exited their car, all eyes darting all four directions suspiciously.

"Alright, Maggie, Michonne, ya'll hit the pharmacy, I'll check for more ammo and Daryl…see what ya can find." Rick planned, pointing in the direction of the stores.

Daryl nodded and started on his way. Maggie and Michonne went on their way, backpacks in hand. Rick headed towards the gun store, well aware that all the ammo might be gone, but there was no harm in checking. He eyed Daryl as the tracker wielded his bow and went around the corner, towards another row of stores. Grinning at the place the redneck was, he knocked on the door and waited for walkers, if there were any, to make an appearance.

Darting his blue eyes across the roads and in the dark stores, Daryl kept a close eye out for his destination. He didn't know if he'd find what he was looking for, but he kept his fingers crossed. Keeping his bow in a ready position if needed, he started walking along the sidewalk in front of the stores, glancing at the inner signs to see if they had what he was looking for. All of a sudden, there was a noise towards the road, near a dusty car. Lifting his bow and going onto the offensive, he approached it, seeing something press against the dusty window and his heart began to pound in his ears as he approached. As he rounded the back of the car, he lowered his bow, grimacing at the harmless walker within. The rotting corpse of a man with thinning hair silently growled from inside the car, completely locked off from the outside world. Deeming the body as harmless, he went back to his search.

As he quickened his stride, knowing he didn't have that much time. Moments later, his foot came down on some broken glass, the sound of it shattering into smaller pieces under his foot making him freeze and look down. Moving the bits around with the toe of his shoe, he looked up and over into the store the glass came from. The windows and door had all been broken out and the contents within was an easy thing to see why people would've broken into it.

And out. He echoed.

Triumph had him approaching the store, tapping on a window sill and waiting for a sign of life before entering. Most of the contents were missing and others strewn across the floor, the baubles having no meaning anymore. It gave Daryl a nostalgic feeling. How many men had come into that store looking at them, each one of them eventually would have gone to the perfect person? He stepped over what he could, knowing that each would have had some meaning to someone and went about on his search. His eyes scoured what was still remaining in the cases, leaning down at times to get a closer look of some. He didn't know how many times he rounded the room, looking at the same ones over and over again, feeling stuck.

So this is what it feels like. He sighed to himself.

He didn't realize it would be so hard. Goddamn. But it would be worth it, in the end it would be worth it. Sighing as he felt frustration wear on him, he resisted the urge to bang his head on the counter. Checking his watch, he realized he'd been at it for nearly forty minutes. What was so damned hard about picking something?!

He had to find the perfect one.

Now I sound like a fucking fruitcake.

Taking a break and clearing his head, he went to another set of cases, gazing at the contents inside, whistling low to himself. He wondered how people could actually afford some of the shit they were getting themselves in to. His eyes spying what he liked, he jumped behind the counter and opened the case, picking out what he wanted. Returning back to the main floor, he sighed as he looked at the messy room, slowly trying to decide what he wanted to do. He knew he couldn't wait another run. He had to make a decision that day. Scowling, he did another sweep of the room. MaryJane was a simple girl, but classy and didn't care for things that were extravagant, unlike her mother before her. She was more appreciative of the nonphysical things in life, but she had moments of weakness just like everybody else. Daryl grinned at the thought just as his eyes caught the sight of a momentary glimmer in the corner of his eyes, making him turn his head towards it. Like some kind of cliché beacon, he watched as it glistened near one of the broken windows. Stepping towards it to get a closer look, he was too focused in to notice a dark figure just outside. When he was within feet, he kneeled down and picked up what caught his attention and something inside him felt warm.

So that's what it feels like.

Stuffing the object into his pocket, he grabbed a few more items he would need and left the shop. Contentment carried him as he climbed from the broken window, unaware that a pleased grin was hanging on the ends of his lips.

"So that's what ya were talkin' 'bout."

Daryl nearly leapt from his skin, his heart jolting as he jumped towards the sound, lifting his on instinct. When he looked down his aiming point and realized who it was, he jerked his bow up and cursed.

"God, Rick! Ya almost gave me a heart attack!" Daryl exclaimed roughly, feeling a hot flush against his cheeks.

Strangely enough he felt like a kid that was caught in a lie and he had no reason to, but the devious grin on Rick's face made him feel weirdly exposed and less in control of a situation he thought he was in total control of. And as his friend kept smirking at him like a mad man the feeling only intensified and he felt backed into a corner, making him begin to fidget in his spot, avoiding Rick's eyes.

"So this is the new start you were talkin' 'bout. God, she'll be over tha moon!" The leader exclaimed, a thrilled expression softening in his blue eyes.

While the former cop meant well, Daryl still felt resentful for Rick's actions of sneaking up on him and catching him in a secret. No one was supposed to know.

"Ya can't tell no one, Rick." He said lowly and seriously, finally able to look him in the eye, to see his confirmation.

Rick's smile only intensified and he nodded. "Of course! Yeah! I promise!"

Daryl saw the vow of silence in them and he nodded, knowing well that Rick wouldn't say anything.

"We ready ta go?" The tracker asked as he scanned the area around them.

With a nod from Rick, they headed back towards the car where Maggie and Michone were returning from their shops with full backpacks.

"We found some cute clothes for Judith, ones she can grow in to." Maggie commented as they loaded into the vehicle and Rick gave her a grateful response and Daryl stilled at their baby clothes talk, something inside of him slowly dying. He was momentarily tossed into his own subconscious thoughts that were attached to his deep, inner desires and what he saw was something he knew could never be.

MaryJane was standing inside their cell, hands cupped over her very pregnant belly, her beautiful face smiling down at the bump with such love it made Daryl jealous. She looked so radiant, her skin just glowed and sparkled in the dim light. His vision shifted to see MaryJane outside near the drying laundry that flowed in a light breeze, in her arms was a small bundle. She rocked on her heels and toes, humming softly to herself. She gazed down at the sleeping baby, their baby and he felt his heart explode with joy. He wanted to hug her, kiss her, promise her the moon, promise her protection forever and vow to be the best dad she knew he could be.

Something patting him brought him from the visions, he jerked back to reality and looked at Rick who was glancing strangely at him.

"Ya alright, Daryl?" He asked, concerned.

"Yea, I'm good." He replied gravelly and turned his head to look out the window as Rick drove on.

Daryl sat in silent melancholy and he wondered if MaryJane had the same pit in her stomach as he did when he envisioned something as beautiful as having their own baby, but then realizing that it couldn't ever be. He cursed silently to himself. She should have all the babies she wanted! She should be married, have a two story house in a nice neighborhood, a dog, and a white picket fence! And those kids should be his! He should be sharing that life with her at that very moment and it got Daryl to thinking closely about what their lives would look like if they world hadn't gone to shit. Would they be together? Would they already have gotten married? Would they have a little ankle bitter running around their house? Would Daryl be actually making something of himself instead of staying with Merle and his drugs? Would Merle be with them? What would their lives look like? Would they have dinner parties and sleepovers for their kids? Damn, he knew well they'd have a movie night, read stories and Daryl wouldn't know how to even begin to follow in MaryJane's footsteps. She was a natural mother, but he wasn't a natural father. He'd slowly learn, but quickly enough he'd know what it was all about.

He imagined what his life would be like if they had a little girl, identical to MaryJane, but inherited his deep blue eyes. Just the image of her perfection in his mind made yearning curl in his gut. He could only imagine the times they'd have. He'd be a total sucker, so taken by her and she'd have him wrapped around her little finger. Or what if they had a little boy? Determination settler hard inside Daryl as he drew up the image of a handsome little boy that looked like him but has MaryJane's whiskey eyes. He'd be a damned better dad than his ever was. He'd learn him right! Teach him what he knew the right way! Take him hunting, camping, teach him about weapons, how to survive in the woods. He'd be there for his boy when he needed his father, be someone he can confide in, and eventually be the confidant that he tells to when he has his first crush. Oh, fuck, what would happen when his little girl brought a boy home? Oh dear, Jesus, no boys! No boyfriends! Hell no! None! Daryl fixed the sneer that had formed in his face and just imagined something lighter, just the four of them...he, MaryJane and their son and daughter playing together outside. He could see himself giving his girl a piggy back ride while a laughing MaryJane and their boy wrestled in the yard as the dog bounced around them, barking in delight at their tussle. God, he wanted that more than ever.

Blinking, Daryl looked back into the world beyond his seat in the car and his eyes spotted a corpse walking in an old wheat field and his sweet, heavenly visions turned sour. They were sucked back into his subconscious like someone vacuuming up their carpet and the sneer he had removed returned as the cold hand of reality slapped him across the face.

Those were just dreams, lovely, pitiful...stupid dreams.

He could give her something, though. He could give her what he had, all that he had. Himself. Maybe he couldn't give her the children or the life she deserved, but he'd damn well try and make her life as happy as he could. He'd do anything and everything to make her smile. He could offer himself to her and he hoped that would be enough for her. Maybe the kids would be possible...but not now, not while the Governor was out there and while the prison wasn't as strong as he was comfortable with. He wouldn't want his child growing up in the prison like Judith and Emily's boys were. No, he wanted better for his own, but the possibility of there being better was slim.

Daryl thought for a moment that maybe the kids in his mind were better off staying there, inside his head. They were safe there, not harm could befall them. They wouldn't ever cry or feel hurt or sadness or even be afraid. In his mind, they would always be happy and laughing, living life like it was the best thing ever, in safety and with parents who were perfect for them and wouldn't do no wrong. Yeah, they were safer there.

His thoughts were halfway between sweet and sour when they returned to the prison in mid-afternoon. His mood was lightly lifted as he caught sight of his beautiful woman waiting for him just inside the second gate, her brown eyes moving about the car anxiously. She looked tired, obviously worn out from Carol's training. He hoped the extra workout would help her sleep better at night as well. As he slipped from the car and approached her, his heart racing as a large, bright smile spread across her face, lighting her up like an angel from Heaven. God, she made him feel weak just from a smile. Unconsciously, a soft grin tugged at his own lips and he quickened his pace, unaware of Rick's watchful eyes. MaryJane hurried and met the tracker halfway, throwing her arms around his neck and pressing her lips gently against his. Daryl suddenly forgot that he never usually showed affection of this nature in front of the groups, but the feel of her supple lips against his, her kiss loving and meant only for him made him say 'fuck it'. Everyone knew they were together and despite his reputation of being one of the toughest of the group, he realized that it didn't matter anymore. His place was known by the others and he knew it was permanent, his love for MaryJane wasn't going to change that for anyone, if anything, it only affirmed their trust and respect in him. He wasn't consumed by just survival, there was more to him and that 'more' took the form and name of MaryJane.

Daryl was a nervous wreck. While he was truly interested in what MaryJane was telling him about her training with Carol, he felt the burning in his pocket, screaming at him, the searing sensation making a knot form in his gut. He swallowed deeply as he gazed at his star as she rocked Judith, regaling him with what she did while he was gone. God, why was it so difficult?! Why did it have to be so—?! He hoped he wasn't losing his nerve. Maybe he was. MaryJane had that tendency on him, especially when he was feeling unworthy. Just to look at her was enough for anyone to see superiority over him. She was of good breeding, proper breeding, a beauty from a long line of beauties. Daryl was a mutt, bred from a long line of dirt and scum, the worst and lowliest of the breeds. He was the one who barked and got kicked in return, shunned for where he came from, thought of as nothing better than the dust beneath a boot. Yet, here he was, curled up, a tramp in love with a lady. The irony was almost pathetic to him. That's what they had been in high school. The lady and the tramp. He figured that if they had any name in school together it was that. That or the lady and the redneck.

And the irony actually grew sweeter with every look at her. The lady loved the tramp in return.

Suddenly he felt the weight in his pocket drop a little more and he grimaced, wishing it wouldn't do that. Though, it seemed that it was his own fault. He was losing his nerve, he knew it, and this was his punishment. It would bother him, haunt him until his balls grew back. If they ever did.

"Daryl? Sweetie?"

Jerking from his revere, the redneck shot his eyes back to focus on MaryJane, how gazed down at him with worry, Judith staring at him and for a second he swore she was annoyed with him.

"Sorry," He said quickly, feeling heat rush to his cheeks.

Now he felt like an asshole. Some supportive boyfriend he was being.

Boyfriend? Was that the right word? Lover? Maybe that was more accurate, but soon he hoped the title would be something more permanent...

"Are you ok?"

Daryl blinked, his vest pocket feeling like there was a brick weighing it down.

"I'm jus' a little tired...sounds like ya'll started out a'ight."

MaryJane studied him harder. He did look tired, his eyes moving in and out of focus at moments and she had begun to wonder if he was even listening. She knew better then to feel slighted and hurt because with his responsibilities she couldn't rely on him to be focused on her and only her. No doubt he was thinking about something for better security on the fences. She couldn't fault him for that.

Sitting down next to him with Judith, she cupped his cheek, making him turn his face towards her. She felt his head press harder against her touch, leaning into it.

"Why don't you go try and take a nap or cat nap then?"

Daryl shook his head. If only sleepiness were the problem.

Goddammit, sack up, Darlene! He could practically hear Merle say it.

"Nah, I'm good."

MaryJane frowned slightly, curious as to what was bothering him. She could see it, something was on his mind and she desperately wanted to ask him about it, help alleviate whatever it was that was troubling him.

He wouldn't tell me without forcing it from him.

She let him be, not really wishing to disturb him and this thought process. If it was really of desperate importance, he would tell her...wouldn't he?

Losing faith in him, are we Jenkins? Her subconscious taunted.

No, of course not! She snapped back.

Then why are you doubting him?

Because I'm scared. I don't wanna lose him. I love him. MaryJane whispered internally.

Suck it up, buttercup, he'll talk when he's ready. He always does.

For once, MaryJane couldn't disagree with herself.

Giving him a comforting, warm smile, she leaned forward and pecked his lips.

"I love you, so much,"

Daryl gazed into her light brown eyes, wanting to drown in them forever, his soul alight at her profession of love. How he loved her!

"Me too,"

Daryl stalked the fence row, taking a crowbar to the walkers along the wall, satisfied as the metal slid through their skulls like butter. Bodies dropped with thuds and the elimination process of the undead was helping his current mindset. He had been looking for Con, deadest on doing everything right. It had been two days since the run and his pocket still weighed him down, or rather the object within. It was impatient, he was too and he was feeling the pressure. He wanted it, more than anything, he wanted MaryJane and he hated himself for acting the coward, for holding it off to try and build the courage to do so. It had him thinking like Merle.

Since when were Dixons pansy-ass cowards?

Dixons don't hesitate to get what they want.

God, he was hesitating, hesitating because he was scared, unsure, not of MaryJane, but if himself. Why, he didn't know. He knew what he wanted, so why was it so damned difficult?!

Fear. Fear of the unknown, not knowing whether they would live to see tomorrow. How long would it last?

Gotta get this, Daryl, gotta do this.

"Ya alright, son? Ya look pale."

Daryl looked over at the man he had been looking for, his hazel eyes appraising the tracker carefully and with a hint of concern. Con looked Daryl over carefully, the younger man looking like he was about to get attacked and killed.

Said man just nodded. "Yeah..."

Not fully believing, Con didn't reply and pulled out his Bowie knife, joining Daryl as they started to clear the fence row. After ten minutes or more the tracker felt his arms start to weigh heavily like they were made of lead and his abdomen seared his side suddenly, his arms falling to his side in defeat.

Good God, man up, Dixon!

What was the worst Con could do? What would he say? Would he really deny Daryl this?

Logic told him he wouldn't, but there was that self-doubt lingering in the back of his mind.

"Con, I need ta talk ta ya."

The silver haired rancher glanced over at the mysterious younger man and it startled him to see anxiety thinning his lips and making his eyes blink more than usual. Worry surfaced in the older man, worried that somehow down thing had gone wrong between him and MaryJane.

"Sure, son, e'erythin' a'ight?"

Daryl hesitantly walked closer until he was arm's length away from the man that was MaryJane's surrogate father. His heart rattled in his chest as he took in a deep breath, his feet desperate to shift. His nerves tightened the knot in his gut and his object in his pocket flared heat into his side, not allowing him any room to run away.

Goddamn. Well, here goes nothin'.

Rick watched Daryl and Con talk from the entrance of the cell block, grinning wildly as he bounced Judith in his arms. Poor Daryl looked so tense and worried it was almost comical to the former deputy sheriff, never had he seen the man look so overrun with emotions. The former cop felt his jaw drop as Con suddenly pulled Daryl towards him, embracing the tracker. Daryl looked shell shocked, but patted the older man's shoulder awkwardly. The rancher pulled back moments later, nearly shaking one of Daryl's shoulders which Rick knew to be excitement. So, the discussion with Con went well, now it was on to the woman in question herself.

Looking down at his quickly growing baby girl, Rick smiled widely at her. "Things are gonna be changin' soon, darlin', change is a comin'."

Not too shabby for more than a half year absence, I hope. As always, it's your judgement call. Like or dislike, let me know, but no flames are appreciated and will be deleted, only constructive criticism.

I do hope that you all can forgive me for I find it hard to forgive myself, but I have brushed my guilt off and shall press on!

Do be a dear and shoot me a review if it warrants your time. If not, favorite or follow if it was to your liking.

See you next time and hopefully I shan't be gone as long as I was!

Happy Writing!