Disclaimer: See chapter one.
AN: Yeah… I know. After losing my USB that had the beginnings of this story, to finding it, then it becoming corrupted, to losing it AGAIN… this story has taken a backseat. Don't get me wrong, I love this story and what I'm doing. It's a lot to write though at times, and my muse is fickle. Plus I've had a rough couple of months in life. Thanks for sticking by me.
And special thanks to my "stalkers" who see my reviews on other stories, and harass me to update mine. It made me giggle. And kind of pushed me to write. So thanks.
Enjoy!
New Sorrows, Old Joys
(Time Frame: Direct continuation of Tested Bonds – these two one-shots are coexisting together, but not exactly following the same times; being on different coasts, there are time differences.)
The study was lavishly decorated and a fire crackled to the side of them, casting shadows about the room. In her heavy hoodie, Raven felt the prickling of sweat; but ignored her discomfort for noticing her surroundings.
She had been to Wayne Manor; and instantly felt at home in the old architecture, Gothic statues and dark, Victorian colors. It was something out of an old novel and it brought Raven a sense of peace. Oliver Queen's residence was different.
The walls were painted creams and coffee colors; the carpets, where there were some, were a plush white, thick and comfortable. The wooden floors were oak, stained a bright and warm color. The furniture was functional, crisp but modern; worn, fitting together like a set from a designer catalogue.
The study was no different. The mantle of the fireplace was a white washed marble, the bookcases were white and thickly covered in old tomes. Raven itched to look at the titles, but held back.
And as her large eyes swept around, they finally rested on the superhero duo, Black Canary and Green Arrow sitting across from the young adults; two still defending members of the Justice League, though it was now common knowledge after their marriage, Dinnah had hung up her fishnets in favor of a domestic life. Ollie hadn't.
Taking in Dinnah's look – soft blonde locks, pretty lip full lips, and wide blue eyes – it was easy to see how Oliver had fallen for the formidable hero. In fact, Raven felt a bit of hero worship toward the woman. She and Starfire had kept a close eye on her brief stint with the Birds of Prey, working with the mysterious Oracle (who Raven had just learned, worked with Robin as well). She had been the field commander, armed with a powerful screech that could blow up buildings, deafen people and quite literally burst eardrums; but it was how she led that Raven and Star had idolized her.
She was always the first to fight. She was always the first to defend her team members, and she was incredibly powerful with a right hook, more so than her power that she rarely used. In essence, she was what Rae and Star admired and hoped to be as they grew into their adult hero roles.
She was leaning beside her husband, wearing a pair of light jeans and simply button down white shirt. Oliver Queen, sat on the couch, rubbing the small patch of blonde hair on his chin, studying Roy – who just so happened to be staring at his feet.
If Dinnah was beautiful and strong, Ollie complimented her well, being broad shouldered, handsome and just a tad bit cocky. It was easy to see where Roy had developed his self-confidence from; as his casual stature and his smirking lips, it was easy to see his influence on the archer.
He finally sighed, rubbing the back of his neck, glancing to his wife. Dinnah shrugged, and continued to stare at the pair. "So…" the masked man said slowly. He shrugged as Roy finally looked up. "It's great to see you kid. I mean, it's been awhile since you came by."
"Yeah, sorry about that." He smiled bashfully. "And sorry about skipping the wedding. Duty calls."
"We understand," Dinnah said softly, smiling wryly. "When Brother Blood tries to take over the world, that tends to come before weddings."
"Or holidays," Ollie added, smirking. "And it's not like we don't love seeing you," he continued, leaning further into the couch. "But what brings you here, on short notice?"
"And with a friend," Dinnah interjected. Her keen eyes closed in on Raven and she felt the spotlight shift. "Are you bringing your girlfriend home to meet your parents?" She teased, earning a snort from her husband.
Roy rolled his amber eyes, and glared playfully. "Ease off Di." He patted Raven's knee fondly, them sitting so close in the armchairs that he could easily touch her. It was unnerving how easily he touched her when the rest of her teammates didn't. "Don't worry Rae. Dinnah just likes to think I'm settling down. At the ripe old age of twenty two." He shot his adoptive mother a look and she shrugged helplessly.
"One mother can only hope." She pointed to Ollie, rolling her eyes. "Sometimes I'm afraid Roy picked up more than Ollie's archery skills."
"Hey!" The older archer shouted, glaring at his wife. A smile threatened to form on his lips. "There's nothing wrong with a guy enjoying the company of women when he's young. That's what he should be doing. Marriage is for us old men."
"And I would like for my adopted son to settled with a strong, competent woman," Dinnah continued, ignoring Oliver. The man pouted as he realized she was over-talking him. "Like the mighty Raven."
Raven snorted silently. "I'm not exactly the strongest woman around, Dinnah," she rebuked, tucking her hands into the sleeves of her hoodie. Suddenly she wanted to hide from their scrutiny.
"No?" The former hero baited, puckering her lips. "The daughter of an inter-dimensional demon, who not only started one of the strongest teams on Earth, but also single handedly defeated said demon? All before the age of nineteen." She laughed, cocking an eyebrow. "Honey, I'm not sure what construes strength in your world, but here, that's legendary."
"I didn't do it alone," Raven defended, glancing to Roy who smiled proudly at his friend. "My team weakened Trigon so I could finish him. Without them, I'm not as strong as you might think."
"Beautiful, powerful and humble," Oliver whistled appreciatively. "Found a lucky one here Roy. I knew Zatanna wasn't exactly fond of you, but you could give her one hell of a run for her money. That whole confidence thing controls the strength of her magic. You must knock her down a few pegs."
At the name of the person who had convinced the league to turn their backs on a scared thirteen year old half demon girl, Raven felt her blood boil. It was because of her she had been homeless for a month's time before finding Robin. It was the mystic's fault no one in the superhero community would listen to her plight. Zatanna was the least favorite of Raven's acquaintances.
With great strain, she crossed her arms, letting her aggression go. "She was only acting in the best interest of the league. It led me to locating Robin and the others to form the Titans."
"You scare her," Ollie continued winking. "No one scares Zee. Not even Bats." The admission made the dark girl pause in thought. Not even Batman?
"Are you two dating?" Dinnah interrupted, earning a desperate look from Raven. Finally Roy stepped in, shushing his mother figure quietly. The closeness the two shared wasn't lost on Raven; it was clear Dinnah had been in Roy's life a long time. How long had the hero been with Green Arrow, to develop such a bond with the boy?
"No, listen guys." He sighed, standing from his chair. He back was slightly dam, sweat showing through his t-shirt. Roy ruffled his orange locks and winced as he bit his lip in thought. "I have to talk to you about something. Something important."
Both adult's faces fell. Sitting higher, Oliver looked at his protégé and cleared his throat. Within seconds he went from playboy millionaire, to Green Arrow; it was starling to Raven to see the sudden shift.
"Okay, Roy. We're listening. What happened? Are you alright?"
"Are you ill?" the former leader of the Birds of Prey asked quietly. Her blue eyes were wide in worry and Raven felt a pang of pity for the woman; she truly cared about Roy. The news would be hard to handle.
"Yes, no." He shook his head. He looked from Dinnah to Ollie. "Listen, old man. I made a mistake, and I need you to forgive me for this. And it's not a simple yes, Ol. It's a biggie here, alright?"
His dark eyes darkened. "You're scaring me kid. What happened?"
Taking a deep breath, he leaned in front of his mentor – his surrogate father and showed him the tracks along his forearms. The pin pricks that he had self-inflicted, to take the drugs he was trying to get off the street.
He was talking before anyone could even comprehend. "I was working an undercover case. I had to find the kingpin of this drug ring, I had to bring it down. It was right after Aqualad's death – Garth's death. It hurt to wake up and know he wasn't going to be there to make breakfast, or someone I could pick on – someone I could talk to. The tower was too quiet when he died. Everything tasted like ash. I barely slept.
"Karen asked me to help with a case and I jumped at it. It was something to do, something to help. To get my mind off Garth. And when I knew it was a drug ring, it was even better. We stopped so many together. I knew I could do it.
"I got in easy enough; my persona in Star held up in Steel, from when we'd infiltrate here. Then they started to test me and I couldn't jump ship. First it was defending a shipment from cops. Then it was trying a hit. And once I started, I just couldn't get enough. It was all I thought about. It helped me sleep. I could remember Garth's face – his voice. He was my best friend and finally I could remember his voice. I mean, I was a pretty lousy friend if after a few months I forgot my best friend's voice. And I just sunk lower."
There was a heavy pause. Ollie sat back, voice grave. "What are you telling me Roy?"
Roy's eyes were full of tears and he stood up, rubbing his arm sullenly. "I got addicted old man. I became a junkie. I'm a recovering heroine user."
Dinnah made a gasp – halfway between a sob and a gag. Raven couldn't stop looking at Oliver. His face was a mixture of emotions; some painful, some downright scary. Standing, Raven felt a few sparks of black magic coat her fingers, her defense to fight-or-flight coming to her senses. Whatever happened next, Raven wasn't going to like it.
And neither would Roy.
"The one thing in this world I always tried to instill in you Roy was the dangers of drugs," he spoke quietly, firmly. His eyes were narrowed and angry. "I kept you from those horrors. Showed you the effects of them on people. Made you promise to never touch them, ever. That had been my one rule – the one thing we stood against."
"I know old man, I know. I didn't want this –"
"Speedy would know not to become what we fought against. He would know not to be a – a junkie." He spat the word as if it was physically painful to say. Raven shook as she felt the hurricane of emotions surround them. Dinnah remained silent, watching in confusion. "You don't deserve to wear the mantle anymore Roy."
His face heartbreakingly fell. "Ol-"
"No." He stood, voice booming in the quiet study. The fire was the only background noise. "You're no longer Speedy. You don't deserve to wear the honor that name gives." Roy's shoulders fell, and Oliver stalked past his sidekick and shook his head. "Get out of my sight."
The young man snorted, Dinnah standing to halt her husband, eyes flying between the two of them. "You know what, old man?" He shook his head, whipping out the mask his other side wore. Like Robin he kept it tucked in a pocket when he might need it. "Keep it. Find someone else to put up with your mood swings. Find someone else that can be what you consider perfect." He dropped it to the floor, and smirked cruelly at the Green Arrow.
"In fact, have a great life. I don't need this," he grabbed his jacket and stormed out of the house. Dinnah could be heard following him, calling out to him.
Raven stood with Ollie for a few moments in silence, unable to find the urge to neither speak nor move. Did she try to speak logically to the hero? Did she flee too? Finally, he turned to her, and glared. "Anything to add, your highness?"
The slap was almost physical. Letting herself raise, hands glowing in blackness, she let her eyes turn white. Her bottom lip curled up in disgust. "I think you've said plenty." And she teleported out of the house, appearing on the stoop of the grand home, just as the moon rose overhead.
Roy was nowhere to be seen.
The blonde was overwhelmed; it was plain to see.
"How can it be you? We saw-"
"You have experienced the joys of make-up!"
"You're still wearing your rock climbing gloves…"
"You're too skinny girl!"
"You're blonde colored hair is much longer than I remember!"
Robin rubbed the bridge of his nose, wishing for the fifth time Raven was there. She could wrangle the team when he was trying to figure this all out. Star was holding the blonde girl – Terra – in his outstretched arms with a wide smile on her pretty face. BB stood by the side, looking lost and little bit sick.
Robin couldn't blame the kid. Terra was his first love, seemingly back from the dead. How did anyone handle that?
Cyborg, always the logical one, was picking up a few of her strands, and examining them closely with his machincal eye. Terra glanced all around, panicked, before landing on him, a few feet away. "A little help here?"
"Star," Robin called out gently. "Let her go."
The alien released their friend, all the while still smiling. "I am sorry. Sometimes I get excited and do not realize my own strength. It has been some time since we've seen you."
"Do I know you?" She asked, flipped a few strands out of her eyes. She glanced to Beast Boy, eyes narrowed slightly. "You, again?"
"Know her BB?" Cy asked, eyes glaring at the blonde girl.
"It was a long time ago." He muttered, kicking the dirt sadly. Lifting a hand, Cy rubbed his shoulder. "A long, long time ago."
"I told you before, I'm not your friend." She pointed to her chest, navy blue eyes wide. "I'm not a superhero. My name is Tara, I'm a college student in biology. I have two years left before I can get my Masters. I can't throw rocks. I hate rocks." She made a disgusted sound and Robin smirked.
She was smart, passionate but something about her was off to the leader. Something wasn't quite right. Again, he could really use Raven's insightfulness.
"Well then," Robin cleared his throat, gaining the groups attention. Beast Boy looked deflated and Star looked just plain happy at seeing their new friend. "We won't press the issue." Eyes locked with Cyborg the metal man nodded once. "But did you want to hang out with a group of super powered young adults? We were going to play a video game tournament, and we could use another player."
Cyborg continued. "Normally, we need a referee. Star is it this time, leaving us with an open spot." He glossed over where their fifth member of the team was; something Robin noticed and smirked knowingly. Cy - like - him - was not easily opened to sharing valuable information. Most criminals would attack if they thought the team was weakened without a member. And they still didn't know who this woman was.
At her curious, if not suspicious look, she bit her lip in thought. "I really need to study…"
BB jumped at the chance. "We won't be up late. We have early morning meetings, and if we're not there, alert, we have to do laps and obstacle runs until we are." He glared playfully at Robin, even if his expression was tinged with another emotion.
The green shifter was still coming to terms with Robin's involvement with Aqualad. It was lucky enough Cyborg had talked to him about the encounter and brought everything before the little guy. He wasn't happy – he didn't forgive Robin – but he understood. He looked up to the leader – Robin was his hero growing up – but he was only human. It wasn't just BB getting over his leader letting their friend die; it was understanding that his hero was human too and could make mistakes. It was a low blow to take in.
"So you in?" Robin asked, crossing his arms over his chest.
When her eyes lit up with a gleam of determination, Robin's breath paused in his throat. It was the same look that crossed her face when she tried to take over the city, under Slade's control.
"I'm in."
The walk was exhausting. Raven was almost tempted to drive Roy's bike down to the bar he had fled to; but then she thought better of it. She could drive a plane, a hybrid T-car – but a motorcycle was asking for trouble. Instead she huffed her way, three miles from Ollie's house, to the hole in the wall dive Roy was sitting in.
She didn't have to ask if the archer had run into the establishment. She could sense him. Since his stint in the underground, Raven had a tough hold of his aura; it felt like warm ambers that soothed on a cool night. That was when he wasn't hurting or angry – now, he was feeling both. And his aura was dancing like hungry flames that threatened to burn her.
But she had to find him and help him – soothe him. Ollie's rejection, his utter disdain was not what Roy needed. He had gone asking for forgiveness; he had gone asking for Oliver Queen's love. Instead he was meant with judgment and rebuttal. Roy wouldn't say how badly it had hurt him. But Raven had seen his face; the moment of hope that had crashed around his shoulders with Ollie's harsh words before he totally cut himself.
He had smiled, and walked out as if losing his father figure, mentor, and his newly found mother figure wasn't a big deal. But Raven knew him. Roy placed Oliver on a pedestal, and Dinnah hadn't been far behind. To lose them was a harsh blow; especially when he would lay the blame of losing his only family, on his own shoulders for succumbing to the allure of drugs.
Pushing open the door, the night sky was reflected inside; without the help of stars, Raven could barely make out the occupants. Only a few lights in the far corners kept the place from being a huge black hole. The sweet smell of liquor and the tang of sweat coated the air, making the young demoness pause as she entered.
Raven was no stranger to the bar scene; since becoming old enough the Titans had frequented a night out, normally under the watchful eye of Robin who didn't drink; she never indulged more than a glass of wine, but the places they had been were trendy clubs. This bar was seedy, and cold; she half expected to see a wanted criminal on a barstool, but she refrained from checking.
A quick scan revealed Roy at the bar, leaning against the old grain, an empty shot glass in front of him, with another tumbler by his left hand. There was a dark liquid inside, with no more than a mouthful left. He didn't look up when she approached; instead kept his amber eyes locked on the dusty television replaying the baseball game from that morning.
"Don't," was all he said, voice hoarse and tired. Raven could feel his pain – his remorse and agony – coat the air around them. They lapped at her weak shields and she felt the pressure of them wanting to drown her. She almost let them, wanting to experience his pain fully. "Don't say anything."
"I was only going to say," she started, pushing a few strands from her face in haste. "That you could've picked a closer bar. I'm not as quick as you. And teleporting would've blown our covers."
He glanced down to her, locking gazes, his lips trying to lift into something of a smirk. "Did I tire you out Rae-Rae?" He snorted, shaking his head. "Doesn't matter. I'm almost done here." He waved to the bartender, an elderly fellow with a bald spot, who replenished the shot and topped off his drink.
Raven's nose wrinkled up in irritation. "Bourbon? Really."
"Ollie's preferred drink," Roy muttered, downing the shot quickly. "The only thing he kept stocked at the house. There were nights when I was barely sixteen, and they were tough and we were bloody and beaten but had got the bad guys, when we'd walk into his study and collapse on to the couch. We'd sit there in silence for hours before he'd limp to the liquor cabinet, pour two drinks and hand it to me.
Smirking bitterly, Roy raised his glass. "He'd always hold it up for me, and snort before saying: 'You've earned this kid.' And we'd drink them together before stumbling to bed. It was like my reward for seeing the shit in the world and living to tell about it."
He took a swig and Raven watched him closely, remaining silent. She could hear the utter pain at his memories; what he thought to be the last good ones he'd ever have with the old hero.
Opening her mouth to respond – to say something – he snorted, dropping the heavy glass on to the bar. "I'm going to have to find a new identity when I head back to Steel."
Finding the topic change tangible, Raven shook her head. "Roy, Oliver wasn't serious. You can remain who you are. He doesn't own the identity you've built. Richard and Bruce have had fallings out, but Bruce never took away Robin from Richard." She placed a hand awkwardly on his shoulder. Was this how she was supposed to comfort him?
If it had been anyone else in the Tower she had to comfort, she would know what to do. Robin would need silence and space, but a ready ear. Cyborg would need someone to debate with, someone to make him see reason because he was stubborn. Starfire would need a hug, and close contact to feel secure and to have someone wipe away her tears. Beastboy would try to make her laugh until he would break, then she would try to cheer him up, admittedly poorly. But it would make him laugh and then he'd be fine.
Now faced with Roy, the man she had rescued from a drug kingpin, had nursed back to health, had encouraged to recover, and had been his support during the most hated and hurtful conversations with his mentor, she wasn't sure what to do to help. Would he welcome logic like Robin, or a burst of anger like Cyborg on how he was being an idiot? Would he like a soothing touch, or a lame joke? Or nothing at all?
He seemed to ignore her touch and shook his head tiredly. "Bruce respects Dick, Rae. Ollie and me… we don't have what they have. If Oliver Queen said I'm no longer fit to be who I was with him – no longer fit to be Speedy, than I won't be. It's that simple."
Pushing away, he shunned her comfort and walked to the entrance, never looking back at her. She felt slightly stung by his refusal but knew it was nothing against her. Roy was hurting and no amount of words or soft touches would heal him that night.
Gracefully, Raven followed in his wake to see him sitting on the curb, a cigarette hanging from his mouth. He barely noticed it there, looking up at the stars; his face clear of emotions. Raven knew it was all a farce; the fact his emotions weren't burning him up inside was more of a surprise. She could sense the storm inside of him, it was almost all consuming.
She knew it wasn't healthy for the man to keep it inside. Roy was emotional; it was what made him such a great formidable hero. He was passionate, impulsive and feed off of the adrenaline that fights provided him. Much like Star, his emotions fed him during battles. Raven wondered if a release, something to break the dam, would benefit him like it did in battles?
"So you smoke now?"
"Don't be judgey Raven," Roy teased darkly, flicking ashes away. He took a deep drag, fumbling a bit. The alcohol was hitting him hard already. "Most junkies take to smoking to help with cravings."
"Most junkies." She repeated, hearing and feeling his self loathing clearly. Almost angrily, she sat next to him, yanking her black hoodie off and tossing it aside. "You're right, most junkies would subcomb to the feeling of needing something to keep the edge off."
Wary eyes caught hers' as she all about growled at him. She yanked the cigarette away and threw it across the street, the burnt end looking like a flying lightening bug in the late summer night. "When will you get it through your head Roy, that you're not just a junkie? You're not even a junkie – you're a hero damn it!"
Shaking his head, ready to fight with the demoness, she grabbed him by the chin and held his gaze. "No, you need to listen to me." She pointed to his chest – right where his heart was. "You are a great hero. A man of his word. A friend. A leader. Who made one mistake, and lost clear judgement in a very tough situation." Dropping her hand, she shrugged tiredly, feelings leaving her. She had been feeding off of his stray ones but also of her own frustration. It was quickly dwindling away. "We are human Roy. We are allowed to make mistakes. Humans are not perfect. It's what make us always able to learn from those mistakes. It makes us great."
Biting her lip, she saw him turn away, jaw tense. He cleared his throat, finding his voice minutes after her snap and when he spoke, he sounded lost; defeated. "My mistake cost me my family Rae. I'm not that great of a hero, let alone human being, if what I did took my family from me. I lost Ollie. I lost my name. I don't know what to do now. I don't have anything else."
Smiling softly, a ghost of a sincere smile, Raven placed a hand gently on his calloused one. "That's where we start then. The part of getting over your addiction isn't just battling the urges. It's starting over – making yourself better so you never get back there." Lowering her voice, violet eyes wide and reflecting of the crescent moon overhead, she looked wise but innocent all the same. "Aqualad wouldn't want you to go back there. He'd want you to be better."
Sniffling, Roy let loose a strangled laugh. "Starting over eh? New name, new identity." His eyes fell to hers', a clear intent covering his handsome features. "Maybe even finding a girl that can see past the junkie side, and see what he can't see is underneath?"
Raven's brows furrowed, chewing her bottom full lip. "Well of course there would be someone out there capable of seeing past one side to your personanlity. I'm sure Robin wouldn't approve of anyone learning of your past addiction until you told your teammates – privacy and security coming to mind."
Smiling wide, a daring laugh on the tip of his tongue, Roy shook his head at the hero beside him. Sometimes she was too naïve that it was adorable. "No Raven, that's not exactly what I meant." Cupping her face, he caressed her smooth, cool cheeks reverently. "There's something I've been wanting to do for a while now."
She looked curiously at him, placing her hands on his own, ready to pull them away and ask what he was thinking when he leaned forward and she felt the warm rush of his lips brushing hers'.
Raven froze, but Roy continued and before soon, Raven melted under his touch, revealing in the swirling of emotions his touch was causing within her mind and body. His lips were hot, his emotions churning just under the surface, breathing into her. Something about it made her hungry – she wanted to devour his emotions, feed on them. They were raw, tangible and she craved to ease not only his pain, but to match the ferocity he was showing her.
He nipped her lips, his tongue madly meshing within her mouth. At one point she thought she heard a moan – hers' or his' she wasn't quite sure – but continued on regardless.
Dimly, Raven was aware as she battling for dominance that Roy Harper was her first kiss.
The sun was gone by the time the video game competition started. The soft waves of the bay rocked gently against the island the Tower sat upon. Inside the Tower, it was a different story.
The green shifter, a hyper alien princess and up until then demure blonde had been sitting on the couch talking amicably. Then "Dirt Racer 4" had been introduced into the group by one of a large cybernetic man. Then it was a full blown chaotic ride in the common room, as pillows were tossed aside, two drivers took to a chase and Star refereed loudly in the middle. Chips were thrown about the green carpeting, cans of soda sat way the wayside, some open and others not - and a bowl of skittles was nearly gone.
Robin leaned in the kitchen, a cup of black coffee by his elbow, as Cy sat at the counter, a bowl of popcorn being slowly but steadily devoured in front of him. Both were watching the other three - the blonde in particular.
"She seems normal." Cy offered, poping a kernel into his mouth.
"Seems is very different than is." His leader replied, earning a quick nod from his second in command. "Are you running the tests?" His voice was lowered, eyes trained on the trio in the common room.
Cy shrugged. "Running them as we speak. Just so happened to grab that piece of hair from the T-Car, before we all came in. Luckily for us, we kept Terra's old things, including a hairbrush."
"And if they match?" Cyborg as Robin, looking to his left.
Robin was stoic, eyes unreadable behind his masked eyes. "We'll cross that bridge when we get to it."
There was a heavy pause as Cyborg rubbed his face tiredly. He glanced to the clock in his arm, and sighed. "The tests should be done soon. But I wished Raven was here."
His thoughts being echoed, Robin glanced to Cy, eyebrow raised. "Raven?"
Cy smirked. "She has a few impressions of Terra left. She could tell us if this is the real one or not. Not to mention, she's been gone fourteen hours without a word. I'm worried about her."
Snorting, Robin shook his head. He wouldn't let on that he had been feeling the same thing; he had a gut wrenching panic that he hadn't heard from her for the better part of the day. But he knew Raven - if she was in trouble, she would call. The fact she hadn't, at least put him at a somewhat ease. Even if she was alone. With Speedy. Doing God knew what. And he wasn't there to keep an eye on her should she need it.
"Raven is strong, Cy. If she was in trouble, she'd reach out to us." At Cy's curious if not betrayed expression, Robin shrugged. "We have to trust she's okay Vic. If not, we'd be nothing but a bunch of worried superheroes, going out, bringing her home without a second thought. And we can't do that."
Cyborg snorted darkly. "Speak for yourself," he muttered and when a flashing on his arm went off, he and his leader paused. Clicking a few digital buttons, Cy took a deep breath. "Test results are done."
Robin pushed off the counter, gesturing to his second in command to follow. "We'll look at them in lab. I don't need BB know about this and freaking out. Seeing this Tara almost undid him out in the city. I don't want to stress him out."
Cy stood, shaking his head. "Little dude is already stressed out, boss man. His dead girlfriend is back from the dead - which I'm pretty sure he knew from her reaction when he found her but that's not the point - and now she's back, with no memories. And we're not even sure it's her. Not to mention, Garth's death was just a few months ago, and he's still coming to terms with that one. Stressed, yeah he's already there."
Glaring, as the doors opened to allow them to exit, Robin growled out, "I know Vic. I know. But I don't want to add to all of that, now do I?"
Smiling brightly, Cy whistled. "Probably not." And they headed down to the medlab to look at their reports.
The lab was silent except for a beeping noises, the whirl of a computer, and the two heroes breathing. The plasma that Robin had used months ago to help connect Cy back together, and what had monitored Raven's healing was a mess of graphs, charts and two lines - one green, the other red.
The green one was a sample from their Terra that had been left on her hairbrush. when she had left, she had left behind a few items, and BB had insisted on preserving the items in case she came back. When she did come back, but as Slade's puppet, the team had all but pushed the items into a deep storage, away from their eyes. Raven had suggested burning the things - something Cy had backed up - but they had held on. Most had to do with their hope Terra wasn't as evil as she seemed.
When it appeared she was, the box was forgotten. Then when she sacrificed herself for their safety, turning to stone, Cyborg had rediscovered the box and sorted the things, looking for something to help them heal her. They owed her - for her sacrifice, for her end loyalty, for her friendship - and they wanted their friends back.
Now the same hairbrush was on the counter, the single strand run into a test tube, liquidated and being compared to the new sample Tara had provided.
The plasma wasn't helping them.
Rubbing the bridge of his nose, Robin removed his mask and sighed tiredly. He had left it on in front of Tara, just in case. Much like Cy hadn't alluded to what his new upgrades allowed him to accomplish; they couldn't risk being found out. "Vic, I can't understand on this screen. What does it say?"
"I'm working on it Rob," Cyborg responded, eyes glued to a microscope. The screen fizzled again, a bit cleared but still too much going on. "You don't have to stay. Once I get things straightened out, I'll call you."
"No," Robin replied, sitting at the counter with his friend and teammate. "I'll wait. It's not like I'm doing anything else."
"Other than worry about Raven, you mean." Cy said cheekily. He could feel Robin's glare. "It's plain to see Rob, man. You've been withdrawn all day. It's getting late and you're still out of it." He pushed a few buttons, things on the screen changing. "She's with Roy. He won't anything happen to her."
"Whatever you say," he muttered arguably. "After everything we've gone through, I'd just rather have her close by. Just in case."
"Trust me, I hear you on that." He adjusted the screen one last time and just the two colored lines appeared in front of them. "Alright, that should do it."
Robin looked blankly at the screen and yawned. "Vic, you and I both know I have recently graduated with an advanced bachelor's in Criminal Justice, a minor in Law studies, with a certification in Forensic Science. Biology, isn't my deal. What's it mean?"
Chuckling, Cyborg stood up, rubbing the back of his neck. "Honestly, I'm not sure either." He pointed to the green line where it intersected the red. "Here and here, it seems it's the same. It's a match."
"But it's not identical." His leader supplied, crossing his arms.
"Right. Here and here," he pointed at other spots carefully. "This says their not related. But the other spots say they're one in the same. There's only two answers for this indecision."
"Which are?"
He clicked his tongue, pulling up a few sheets from the counter, scanning them carefully. "Either my machine is malfunctioning, which is not possible as it just was upgraded and is directly attached it me. If it's malfunctioning, than so am I. The only plausible reason is the DNA sample we have must be contaminated. There's no real answer if this Tara is our Terra."
Slumping in his chair, Robin groaned, and promptly hung his head back over the edge of the barstool back. "Would it be too much to ask for Raven back?"
"Nope. I was thinking the same thing."
Walking back to the common room, they entered, seeing a smiling Tara hugging Starfire tightly.
"I had so much fun today. Thank you for inviting me over."
"You are most welcome, friend." Star replied, easing from the grasp she held on to the petite girl. "You must remember you are always welcomed here."
They exchanged a few more words before Tara walked over to Beast Boy, a hesitant and kind smile on her face. "I guess it wasn't so weird being here. Not like last time."
"No," he agreed. He kicked his toe at the carpet. "Listen, I never got to say... I never apologized for before. When I saw you the first time."
Robin moved closer to the pair, wrapping an arm around Star's waist in the process, Cyborg coming closer too. They listened intently. "It wasn't fair to push everything on you. You're not who I thought you were." The little green guy shrugged, running a hand through his green stiff locks. "But I wouldn't mind getting to know you."
The mature, understanding man before them was a different Beast Boy they knew and loved. All three of their faces were shocked, if not understanding.
Tara pushed a strand of blonde behind her ear. "You know, you're not half bad." she smiled and hugged the hero warmly. "I wouldn't mind getting to know you either." She whispered into his pointed ear.
He grinned brightly, holding her close. "Cool. And like Star said, you're welcomed here anytime."
"I'll remember that." She said pulling away. Glancing to her watch, she grimaced. "I need to get home. I've got a lot of homework to get done before classes on Monday. I'll talk to you all later."
She took off to the main doors, waving behind her casually as she made a big dash to leave. When silence descended, Cyborg yawned loudly, stretching high above his head. "She's allowed to come back." He cracked his neck. "But let's not give her the security codes. Not yet anyway. "
Gar glared at his friend, fists going to his hips in defiance. "Really Cy? You think she's a bad guy?"
"Hey, I'm just saying. Let's not go and blow up our secrets because we think she may be Terra."
The hot gaze from his best friend would've made anyone wilt. Not Cyborg.
"She's not dangerous. She's just a Biology student.-"
"BB," Robin interrupted, voice stern but kind. "We know. But like anyone else we invite over that isn't part of the Titans, no divulging secrets that could potentially harm us or the people we protect." That settled that. "But we do need to tell you something," he said glancing to Vic who sighed, resigned.
"We may have run her DNA against Terra's old DNA sample."
The reaction they got wasn't the one they had been expecting.
The shifter's eyes grew large, and his mouth was almost to the ground. His whole body hummed nervous, excited energy. Even Star bit her lip in confusion. "And? And? What did you find!"
"Inconclusive," Robin replied steadily. The hero deflated instantly. "It could be because our sample was too old, not enough to compare, degraded. Whatever the reason, it's inconclusive."
BB wasn't dissuaded so easily. "What about Rae? She can scan her mind right? Get a read on her emotions or something?"
Vic scratched his jaw, shrugging. "We thought the same thing. But Rae isn't here. And we can't force her to delve into Tara's mind without either one's consent. Rae's powers are fickle lately, you know this. We don't even know if she can do it anymore. She's still learning her boundaries and what she can do."
Nodding, Gar's shoulders slumped. "Right. But we can ask her right?"
Robin smirked, going to the younger man and clapped him on the shoulder. "Of course we can. But for now, let's refrain from thinking of Tara as our Terra, and remember not to say anything we shouldn't." BB rolled his eyes and drifted away from the leader, not unkindly.
"Got it boss man. I'm heading to bed." He yawned, followed closely by Cy, who waved to the rest of the team silently. Within moments, all that was left in the common room was Robin and Starfire.
Glancing to his girlfriend Rob cocked an eyebrow, mask back firmly in place. "How are you feel Star? You weren't doing well this morning."
Smiling as big as she could, Star nodded. "I am better. It was nothing this morning. Though I am quite tired from our activities today." She stretched, her shirt riding higher on her stomach. She could feel Robin's eyes on her.
Slowly, almost like a predator, he walked over to her, and wrapped his arms around her. He leaned his forehead against hers' and brushed his lips against her thin ones. "If you're feeling better..."
Breathlessly, Star shook her head slowly. "I am tired Robin. Not tonight." Her heart fluttered in her chest as Robin nodded, quietly understanding and respecting her wishes.
"I get it, Star." He kissed her, deeply, holding her face close to his tenderly. "I'll head to bed then. Have a good night." He whispered, putting a strand of hair behind her ear.
She smiled lovingly at her boyfriend as he departed. As soon as he was gone, the smile disappeared.
Longing struck her hard, but more than that, the ultimate despair of the choice that loomed over her head. How could she leave them? How could she leave Robin?
Needing comfort, Star took off to the one place she always felt secure and protected.
The ride back to the Tower had been quicker than Raven remembered it. But it could've been because her mind had been elsewhere and she thoughtfully had placed the plane on autopilot to her home coordinates.
To say the last twenty four hours were anything short of a blur would be an underestimation. The fact she could barely walk back to her room without her knees shaking or without a small smile forming on her lips was a good indication it was a good blur.
And the kisses Roy and she shared were… the smile on her face grew.
She wasn't sure if it helped the archer or not. She had only wanted to ease his pain, something in her driving her on to end his hurt at his rejection of his mentor. The kisses were fantastic, and Happy was in her glory; but she wasn't sure if she succeeded in helping the hero. He needed to express his emotions; bottling them wouldn't work for him.
As she reached her door, a stark thought had occurred to her. What if she had only made it worse? The man was hurting, emotionally recovering from a tramatic encounter and he was acting out. What if their exchange – their shared intimacy was nothing? Perhaps it was his way of expressing himself, with her? If that was the case, Raven did nothing but hinder his healing.
The smile fell from her lips, just as the door into her bedroom pulled back. Walking swiftly in, her thoughts scattered into tiny pieces of self regret and remorse. With his pain, and confusion and lostness, their shared time together couldn't have been anything but the heat of the moment. And it stung Raven deeply.
Besides, how could it have helped him? She had toyed with his emotions, and he had with hers'. She was still learning emotions, still growing. He was still recovering. Their exchange was nothing more but pent up emotions breaking free. And it hurt the empath to think of it that way, but she knew it had to be true. Because what would Roy want with her – if Richard never looked at her like that?
"Friend Raven?" A small voice said to her right, making the dark woman jump into the air in fright. Lighting two hands into large balls of black energy, Raven whirled around.
Starfire stood there, her pink and blue plaid pajama bottoms and matching button down shirt shinning brightly in the darkness of the room, hands raised. "It is only me Raven. I do not mean you harm." At her soothing, almost placating tone, Raven glanced down to her hands.
She looked ready to fight. Pulling the energy back – more difficult when her emotions were crazy and her heart was in her throat from being startled and the emotions over her encounter with Roy – she lowered her fists and glared at her friend. "Starfire, it's four in the morning. I've been flying for the last seven hours. I've had a very emotionally draining day and I've barely slept. Why are you in my room?"
Raven turned her back to her friend, going to her dresser and pulled out a pair of shorts and a plain black tank top with a smirking rabbit on the front - a gag gift from Beast Boy after their trip into Mumbo's hat. At the silence that answered her, she turned back, already stripping. "Starfire?"
She shifted her weight, her flaming locks still beautifully curled from earlier in the day. "I did not mean to intrude on your space or to cause discomfort. I understand you have had a very tiring trip with Roy to Star City. I only came in here because," she drifted off, wringing her hands together. Raven finished changing, and slipping on bulky socks, watching her intently.
Her friend sniffled, and everything in Raven melted away to alarm and worry. "Kori, what happened?" She asked gently, her voice a tired grit in the darkness.
Starfire rubbed her nose and hugged herself. "I only came into your room while you were gone because I needed comfort. And I only felt this kind of comfort with yourself." Crumpling to the floor, Star began to softly cry into her sunkissed hand. "I am lost friend Raven and need your advice."
Raven's mouth dropped open and without a word, went to Starfire's side on autopilot. Softly, she wrapped her lean arms around the young alien's slender, model-like shoulders and felt her friend curl into her side like a small child seeking warmth from a mother. This, Raven could handle; she didn't know what was upsetting her friend, but she knew how to comfort and heal her. This, she understood. This, Raven knew how to fix, and knew it would not hinder her health or development.
As soon as her arms closed in around Starfire, she broke down, sobbing into Raven's shoulder fitfully. And as a good friend, Raven adjusted herself to be more relaxed, and softly patted her hair, letting Star cry.
"So Blackfire is back." Raven repeated, putting the piecesof Kori's story together. The alien was laying on her side, head in Raven's lap, long strands over her knees as Raven toyed with them absentmindedly. "And Wildfire is missing." It wasn't surprising Raven remembered her young brother's name; when they had switched bodies and shared information, Starfire had told her about him.
He was much younger than her and Blackfire. He had been an unexpected delivery from her mother, looking much like herself than her older sibling. His eyes were wide and glowed a brilliant green, he had a joyous laugh, a strong back, and the desire to lead. He had followed her around as he grew before she was taken away by their eldest sister. Now, he was just old enough to entire Tamera warrior school - their training for all warriors that wished to defend their home. Now, he was missing.
"And I am expected to fight for the throne, in order to secure Blackfire from wrecking havoc on our world." Star meekly added, wiping a stray tear away swiftly. "It is my duty to fight for my world and my people. It is my duty to find Wildfire and protect him from our sister."
"But you don't want to." Raven supplied, voice calm and indifferent. Kori held on to that voice; the one of logic during meetings, the voice that was a calm reserve in battle; the voice that could get both Robin and Cyborg to listen when neither would hear the other in a heat of a debate. She wished she was as strong as her best friend - in control and secure.
"I was never meant to be Queen, Raven." Kori whispered. "At one point, I dreamed of wearing the crown that sat on my mother's head," her voice cracked and she felt Raven clap her hand within her larger one in silent understanding. "I dreamed of fighting for my people. I dreamed of defending my world. But when my brother was born, and Blackfire was sent away the first time for her evil deeds – my parents could not bear the thought of killing her – I dreamed of leaving. Of becoming more than just a monarch."
"I understand Kori," Raven answered, still playing with the girl's hair. It calmed her. "As second born, the throne was not meant to be yours'. And having a younger sibling meant that they would take the throne, should you ever have to decline." Raven sighed, propping her head against her bed. Something large and heavy felt to be laying on her chest and she suddenly couldn't breathe right. It was painful and uncomfortable, making the next words hard. "But you don't have that choice now."
"No, I do not." Kori looked up, lime eyes meeting violet ones. She bit her bottom lip. "What do I do friend Raven? What would you do in my situation?"
Raven's breath caught and she felt the prickling of tears at the corners of her eyes. What would she do? It didn't take a crystal ball for Raven to see what she had to do. She knew within her heart what she would in Kori's shoes; what she had, had to do in her shoes. She had sacrificed her life for her friends, for her world to be saved. She hadn't wanted to die, but she knew it was the only choice.
She also knew what her friend had to do; what she had been born to do in life. But she didn't want to say it. It meant she would leave. It meant Raven would be giving her the "ok" to leave and abandon them - leaving them alone. But she also knew she couldn't steer her wrong. It wasn't in Raven's nature to run from a fight for the good of those she loved; and it certainly wasn't in Star's nature to run either.
"Starfire," she said, voice becoming harsher as she tried to hold back the tears. "You are a warrior. You've always been one. You've been trained since birth to fight for the good of everyone. And your people need you. Your brother - your blood - needs you. Your world needs you now. As a hero, it is your duty not to let them suffer under Blackfire's reign."
Sadly, Star looked away, glancing to the door of Raven's room. They were silent, each preoccupided with thoughts for minutes. Slowly, Star sat up, and leaned against the bed beside Raven, eyes on the blue carpeting below.
She chewed her lip. "You are right, as always. I feel I knew you would say that, even before I asked it. And I was looking to you to say something different. Hoping that you would give me a way out of this duty that was lain on my shoulders. But there is not a way out. There is only one choice. There is only one path. I know I must become the Queen if it is to help my world."
Tears were pooling quickly in the empath's eyes but they didn't release. Raven didn't cry. She couldn't look at Star but nodded once. "And perhaps, you will find Wildfire, give him the throne and come back to us."
Crawling to face her, Star grasped her hands together and smiled. "I do wish that. And that is my ultimate plan." A tear fell from Star's large eyes and she smiled watery at Raven. "I will miss our talks friend Raven. Though Robin is my boyfriend, and I do love him, you are going to be the hardest to live without on my world. You are truly my best friend."
Raven's chest felt like it was being crushed by Cinderblock and she could only nod. She didn't trust herself to speak; if any words would form at all. Everything was blurry and she couldn't get enough oxygen; her head was spinning with thoughts and emotions but she didn't utter a single sound. Starfire seemed to understand and her smile only got bigger, even as more tears fell.
"And because you are my best friend, I need you to do one thing for me while I am gone." At her curious expression, Star shrugged. "Robin will not handle my leaving well. He does not handle change well. Without me, he might become reclusive." Both girls remembered Starfire's visit to the future and they shuddered in unison. Briefly, Raven wondered if she would become that cold and distant persona if Star didn't return. How would they handle life without Starfire here? "He will need someone to keep his hope of my return alive. He will need you to be there for him."
Panic quickly set in, as Raven pulled from her friend and vehemently shook her head. "Not me Starfire. Cyborg, Bee, Beast Boy, anyone else. I can't be that person for him." Cold fear gripped her heart. She still was locking away emotions for their leader. She was still trying to let them be together; she was still sacrificing for them. She couldn't be asked to be put in such a situation. She couldn't be his hope – not when she knew what that would entail.
Long talks about Starfire. Reminding Robin why he loved her. Reminding him that she was still there. Being that flicker of persistence and hope. It would kill her. Raven couldn't be that. She simply couldn't.
"Raven, please." Gripping her hands again, Star wiped away more tears. "The others cannot be what you are. Robin trusts you. He respects you. And above all, you are the only person who he will listen to when his thoughts turn dark. It has to be you, who keeps him reminded of why he is here, and what he must carry on while I am not here. As my best friend, only you I can trust to do this for me. I will not sleep easy if I don't have your promise in which to help me do this."
At her hopeful, earnest look, Raven crumpled. She was her best friend. How could she be selfish not to help her? How could she not help both her best friends? Robin would need someone to keep him focused. Starfire was right.
Not for the first time, Raven sacrificed a part of herself for her best friends.
Resignedly, Raven sighed, voice tight. "I promise Star. I promise."
The next morning came too early for the empath. Starfire had slept beside her on the large bed in her bedroom. They all piled into the kitchen like they did every morning. Raven held on to her cup of tea dearly as she watched everyone file in. She smiled at Beast Boy who grinned at her like she was a gift on Christmas given early; she hadn't realized the shifter would've missed her as much as his emotions said he did. Oddly, it warmed her.
Cyborg entered and gave her a bone crushing hug and a ruffle of locks on her head. She was suddenly lucky that she didn't bother showering before they met; she knew after Star gave her speech, she'd need the shower to soothe away her aching chest and clear the emotions of her teammates away. No amount of meditating or tea would get rid of those emotions, at least not right away.
Robin had been steadily studying her since before Cy and BB had entered. He didn't say hello to her, didn't give her a smile or a hug. He only studied her. It unnerved the empath, and made her shift uncomfortably. She knew what was coming, and it frightened her.
The mood of the common area changed when Star entered, dressed in her uniform. Normally they wore pajamas or regular civilian clothing. Raven herself was still in her pjs, hair a mess; much like Beast Boy. All three men looked at her in various levels of confusion. Then the common room door opened once more and in walked Roy.
"Roy?" She asked, her voice from lack of sleep sounding dark and gritty in the early morning light. She dropped the now empty mug on to the counter and moved to him as Star embraced Robin lovingly.
"Hey beautiful," he said sincerely, moving to hug her but she stopped short. She kept out of his reach and glanced to Star before shaking her head at the archer. She was concerned, but above all, confused by his presence, if not startled.
"Why are you here?" she asked sullenly. She still remembered her thoughts from the night before. What they had done had been wrong – and it didn't mean anything. It was a weakness, it was a longing. It wasn't what she had thought it was; she knew she was inexperienced in emotions. She knew she had misread their exchange. He couldn't possibly want her now, in the light of day, drunken words and harsh emotions gone.
At her tone, Roy cocked an eyebrow. He was in a simple t-shirt and dark jeans that hung low on his hips. It wasn't hard for Raven to see his attractiveness; his toned body was molded by the snug fitting clothing. She suddenly felt self-conscious at her state of undress. "Came to see you obviously. After yesterday, I've done some thinking. I needed to talk to you about a few things."
Moving closer, hugging her arms across her chest, Raven felt strangely vulnerable. Cy and BB hung close by, listening without appearing to do so; she could hear them messing around with her settle as if to make her another cup. Robin and Star were too engrossed in their own conversation to notice hers'. "Now isn't a good time." She felt herself begin to panic at what Roy would be witnessing if he stayed; the hurt, the anger, their breakdowns. Her breakdown. She didn't want him seeing that in her. It was weakness. He couldn't possibly see her like that.
She's be completely open and vulnerable to him. The knowledge he would see it, and use it against her, made her heart stop. He could break her.
"Why not? We should-"
"Friends," Star called out, moving away from a pouting Robin. No doubt he was still in the dark about why she wanted to speak and why she was dressed in her battle attire. Star had explained she would tell them as one - minus Raven. Taking a deep breath, Raven prepared her mental shields as best as she could with the little sleep she had aquired and only one cup of tea in her system.
"I asked Robin if I would take this morning meeting and speak to you all about a very important decision in my life. It was not made easily." She stared at everyone in turn. "In fact, there were tears. There are many contributing factors, and this does not come lightly to say." Star made contact with Raven who gave the smallest nod of encouragement. Quietly, she felt Roy drop his arm across her shoulders and she felt more grounded; more than she had felt in sometime.
"Tamera is in trouble. My parents, the King and Queen of my people were killed by my sister Blackfire two days time ago. Wildfire, my younger brother is missing. Blackfire has claimed control of my world." At the startled silence of the group, she stood taller. Something like a cloak of strength surrounded her and before their eyes their friend – the naiive alien princess – was replaced by the battle hardened warrior of her world and of their team. She stood before them a ruler; and though Raven felt proud, her stomach twisted into piles of knots.
"And as second born, I am being asked - though it is my duty and I should not be asked to do so – to stand up against her. I must challenge her to the right to lead Tamera in an ancient custom. It is hard and it is dangerous. And I must win. And become their Queen." The group was still silent, each processing her words at different speeds. It seemed Robin was the slowest to form. Raven felt her body freeze as the final words left Starfire's mouth. Her lungs forgot how to function. "Effective immediately, I must take my leave and return home. I must become Queen of my planet and rule my world. This means I am no longer a Titan and must... depart."
Raven counted to three before it happened. The entire kitchen blew up into a fit of loud yells, shireks and outrages - among strangled sobs. Without thinking, she let Roy wrap her into his arms, and she stayed buried, hiding from the truth of Star's words, her reasoning to their friends, block out the emotions that tried to pull her under and tried to pretend it was one giant cosmetic joke.
Roy leaned on the doorway, forehead pressed to the cold metal door. When he had decided, abeilt impulsively, to go to Titan's West and talk to Rae – to dechiper their feelings and maybe turn that one great make out session into something more – he hadn't expected to come into the middle of a team mental breakdown. His ears were still ringing from the shouts by Cyborg, and Gar's wails of protest. It all made his head spin.
Even Robin's silent anger had scared the archer a bit. He had never seen that look on Robin's face. It was intense, dark, and haunting. It was the anger of man losing everything and nothing at all. It'd be a long time before the Boy Wonder would ever let that one go.
And beyond all that, after Star explained in detail of why she had to leave, Tamera law, and her plans to ultimately return after giving her throne to her missing brother, the only thing he was worried about had been Raven.
The poor woman had shaken in his arms when Star dropped her bomb on to the team. It was all he could do to hold her; she refused to look up at the rest of them until they had all left. Vic had become in charge of preparing a ship for Star's departure the following morning, BB in charge of gathering everything for her to take home, and Robin to brood in his thoughts. When they had left, the demoness hadn't even looked up at him, but pulled from his embrace and teleported to her room.
That night, the team had gathered for one final meal together; a small feast with all of Star's favorite earth foods. Of course he had stayed to partake – he still needed to talk to Raven – but the empath hadn't showed to the dinner. He could tell Star was hurt by it, but he also knew the alien couldn't fault her. This was how Raven was dealing with her soon to be gone friend; cutting ties early, and trying to keep a distance. She was preparing the best way she knew how.
Everyone seemed to respect Raven's desire to remain hidden. Not Roy.
Firmly, he knocked on the door and waited ten seconds before he heard movement behind the metal slab. She didn't open it. He knocked again. "Raven, I know you're in there. Open up."
Ten more seconds. "Now, or I'll bribe Cy to open the door with full access to Titans East to be with Bee, if I need to." Finally the door pulled enough for just a silver of her face to show, one red eye catching his burning gaze.
"What do you want Roy?"
"You missed dinner," he said slowly. He pushed the door open further and she didn't fight him.
She stepped back, wearing just a thin black tank top and a pair of tight skinny jeans. She looked fraile, tiny; like she hadn't eaten in days. Ignoring his intent inspection, she crossed her arms and looked to the corner of her room. "I wasn't hungry."
"Liar," he remarked darkly, moving toward her. He stopped short just a few inches. "You didn't want to see Star. You didn't want to be around them. You've been crying." He pointed out, noticing her button nose was slightly pink and the edge of her lashes her wet. If he wasn't standing so closely, he'd never be able to tell.
"Go away Roy," she spat out, glaring hotly at him. "I don't want to talk to anyone."
"Good," he nodded, crossing to her bed. He sat down as if he belonged there. Raven's eyes twitched. "I didn't really feel like talking. Thought we could stare at each other until you finally fell asleep. That seems like a great way to spend the night, with a guy in your room, and a wide open bed to share available."
"I'm not tired," she stubbornly said, pouting slightly. She completely ignored his innuendo; this was serious. If he couldn't bait her, he'd have to try something else. He cocked an eyebrow, smirking. He saw right through her defenses.
When had he begun to see the real Raven under that hard, indifferent surface? Before his episode, during their friendly team gatherings, or after, when she nursed him back to health and talked him out of his self misery?
"Rae," Roy started, licking his lips. He had to say something to break the dam. Raven was hurting and hiding it wasn't helping her. The girl bottled everything up – she couldn't this time. If he couldn't bait, he'd have to be direct. And Roy was always the type to never beat around the bush. "She's leaving in the morning. She's not going to be here after that. You should see her. At least see her off."
She looked away, her bottom lip trembling. "No, I don't."
"No?" Roy repeated, disbelief coating his tone. "She's your best friend-"
"And she's leaving me," she spat out, eyes becoming watery again. Her lips trembled and her breathing turned ragged. "And she's not coming back. And I'm not sure how…" Her voice stopped and she sniffled. "I don't how I'm supposed to handle this. I'm not sure how I can help my friends through this. Robin will…" she cut off, a sob choking her words in her throat.
Without thinking, Roy stood and grabbed her. She began to cry, hard, deep-felt, mournful cries; something that one would make if their friend were dying, not leaving them. In Raven's case, Roy assumed it was the same. He knew a little about Raven's past; snippets from conversations between Vic and Karen on his visits when she would ask about his adopted sister. He knew her mother had left her, the monks that had raised her had also abandoned her when she needed them most; and that her world was dead, destroyed by her father.
In Raven's mind, leaving meant abandonment and almost certain death. Her fear of losing Star was strong, and almost suffocating to the archer now that he understood why.
"I know Rae, I know." He soothed, scooping her up into his arms. Gently he carried her to the bed and settled her on his lap, holding her as she cried. "Let it out Raven. Don't hold back." And she cried harder, shaking.
As Roy held her, rubbing her neck as she curled into the crook of his arm and shoulder, Roy couldn't believe this was the same woman he had fought with. She felt tiny, broken; not confident, intimidating, sassy and strong – traits he had always associated with the mystic. Now, he was seeing her human side; and all he wanted to do was protect her. Was this how Vic saw her – the little sister with the weight of Spirits knew what on her tiny shoulders? Was this why Robin was always just a step behind her in battles?
This woman was broken but the strongest one he had ever known. And something stirred in his chest as he held her tighter.
Hours passed as Roy held her, rubbing her back as she cried. It was just about dawn that she finally fell asleep, and the archer placed her into her warm and dark bed. Without thought, he crawled in next to her, and adjusted her head to rest on his chest, his arms around her. Even in sleep, he wanted to make sure she felt protected. She needed it; especially as everything around her changed and her best friend left her to fight her own battles, she needed to feel not so alone in the chaos.
He hadn't dozed off more than two hours before a quiet knock rippled from Raven's bedroom door. The empath didn't stir; it was proof of how tired she had been as she was notoriously a light sleeper, and how spent the tears had made her. Using a little bit of finesse, Roy pulled from her warm body and walked to the door just as the individual knocked again.
Seeing Robin was not who he expected. If anything, he thought he'd see Star wanting to spend time with her best friend before her departure. But the leader stood there, black locks disheveled. His blue eyes were red and raw, as if he had stayed up all night – which wasn't too unlikely. It was his love leaving in a few short hours.
What Roy wasn't expecting was his state of undress. Dick was wearing a pair of loose black sleep pants, shirtless. Roy narrowed his eyes at the tone muscle and lightly decipherable scars that littered the expanses of flesh; though he smirked sarcastically at the leader as if nothing was wrong. Is this how he normally appeared to Raven? Was this something he'd have to wonder about, living on the other coast, if he and Rae could ever settle what they were?
He paused in mid thought. He'd cross that bridge if they ever got there.
Leaning on the door, Roy didn't miss the look of suspicion that crossed the Boy Wonder's face. He smiled wider at seeing it. He could clear as day see Dick's feelings; how had no one, including Raven, ever noticed it before? He'd only been there a day, and he could see it all. Was the team blind? It almost pained him to see the over protectiveness and caring side Dick had for the mystic. Sizing him up, Roy let a giant breath of air loose and calmed the strong urge to puff his chest up. "Morning Dick." Roy said happily, voice laced with tiredness. His body was stiff from comforting Raven, but he didn't show it.
"Roy," he greeted quietly. He glanced behind him, seeking out the owner of the room. "Is Raven awake?"
"No," he shook his head, rubbing the falling locks casually. He was letting them get long, but Dick looked like he could almost pull it back into a short stub of hair. "She's had a tiring night." Roy wanted to wink, but he knew Raven would be pissed if he made it seem worse than a simple crying fit they had endured together. "She just fell asleep. Star leaving got to her."
Rubbing his chest, Dick nodded. "Yeah, I know." He stayed silent, staring past Roy's shoulder. There was no doubt he could see the lump in the bed, and the messed up covers of where his body had been. But he never commented on it. "I just wanted to talk to her. Before everything."
And though Roy could see there was more to Dick's intent toward Rae – maybe more than even the leader could see - Roy still remembered he was losing Star today. He was losing his first love; the girl that he had fallen head over heels for, saved from alien pursuers, trusted with his life. Roy's heart broke for the guy.
Clapping him on the shoulder, Roy smiled sadly. "I know, man. I'm here, ya know. In case…" Roy let the sentence hang and the leader nodded.
He looked grateful, but it still wasn't the person he wanted to talk to at the door. Roy could see that. "Right. I know, thanks." He glanced one last time behind Roy and sighed inaudibly. "When she wakes up, I'll talk to her. Get some rest."
"I will." Dick turned away, heading back to his room. "Hey Dick," Roy called out. The hero stopped and tilted his head to listen. "When does Star leave?"
Almost dejectedly, he whispered, "9AM, sharp." And he disappeared down the hallway.
Shaking his head, Roy headed back to Raven's room. Crawling back into his spot, he saw that they still had a good four hours before Star departed. Using the best of his time, Roy cuddled Raven to his chest, and tucked her head under his chin; silently, before drifting off to sleep, he was amazed at how easily she fit there.
AN: Phew. There's that. Is it sad that I have pieces of the next chapter already written, before this was ever close to becoming finished?
Next installment: We say goodbye to Starfire, Raven and Roy make a decision about their status, BB holds on to hope, and a new face shakes things up.
Thanks for reading! Leave me a line!