AN: Don't yell at me. Here's an update.

And I barely looked for typos/ grammar issues. Take it all with a grain of salt.

Disclaimer: See chapter 1.

Chapter 7

Letting Go

(Direct continuation of Chapter 6)

Beast Boy stood there, enjoying the morning sunshine and breeze. The heat was low, the sun above just starting to warm the rooftop of their glorious tower. The small ship that Cy had built overnight was glistening under the warm ray; the silver painted with streaks of purple for the princess alien's departure as a goodbye gift. In the cargo area Beast Boy had put most of her belongings, with trinkets from all of them; his favorite comic, Vic's favorite tool, Raven's special tea in a glass jar, Robin's metallic bo-staff; he had more somewhere.

He glanced around the area. Speedy was leaning against the stairwell, watching as an outsider but still a part of the group. Raven was only a few feet from him, hugging herself. Her short purple locks were being swayed in the wind, the oversized grey sweater falling off her small shoulders, and her black shorts, just short enough to be trendy made her seem so small. She looked tired – lost. BB knew they probably all looked that way.

Vic was tinkering with the ship for a few last minute adjustments. He made sure to place a tracking device on it and an emergency plan into the manifest. With them, Vic was sure he could still be there to help his friend. Something about the cyborg, something inside of him, demanded he do everything in his power to protect them; and he was trying his hardest to do so.

BB stood by the ship, watching the door. Any minute Starfire would walk through with Robin and then this would all be real.

The changeling understood her reasons; he was pretty sure he'd leave too if his parents had been killed by a demented daughter, and his brother was missing, and his world was under the threat of tyranny. But did she really have to go? Did she really have to leave them?

What if they became the future she had seen years ago? Without Star – she was their heart. She was the glue in the friendship. Would they drift and finally end without her there, keeping them together? It was a pretty depressing thought.

The door leading into the tower creaked open. Raven didn't glance back, choosing to stare at the ground, but all three men did. Starfire came forward, wearing her uniform, plus the bindings she had arrived in. She had once told him it was traditional wear for a warrior of Tamera; she would return like their daughter, not a hero of another world.

Her green eyes reflected the overhead sun, and she smiled brightly. It was laced with pain, but Star was making the right decision. She was helping an entire world of people; how could they be selfish and ask her to stay?

BB knew he wanted to say it – he knew Rob did too. But they didn't; because it wasn't fair to Starfire.

Vic stepped forward, wiping his hands on a dirty rag. "She's been outfitted with all the latest technology. And she's linked directly to me." He flipped open the com on his arm, showing the red dot that blinked happily behind them. "If you need anything, if you're in trouble on your way to Tamera, this will let me know. And we'll be there to help you."

Kori smiled sadly, hugging Victor closely. They could hear the creaking of his parts under her strength, but Vic never complained. "That is most appreciated Cyborg. I know how hard it is for you to let go of your creations."

"Not as hard as letting go of a friend," he replied, pulling back. He ruffled her locks fondly. "You'll call us once you land. We know it'll be crazy once you get there, but try to keep us updated. We want to make sure you're alright up there."

She nodded regally. "I am going to war on my home planet, but I will try."

Turning toward Beast Boy, she stepped closer and smiled softly. He shifted his feet, unsure of what to do – what to say. How do you say goodbye to the only other person that understood his naivety like she did? The only other person not from there but tried so hard to fit in? He knew Raven and she bonded because neither was from Earth. But BB and she had grown close over their want to belong. How could he say goodbye to that?

How did you say goodbye to a friend?

How could you let one go into battle and not be their back up? He had spent the last few years watching her back. And now, he wouldn't be there, ready to eat a Slade-bot as a T-Rex, or crush Cinderblock as a great white whale. He suddenly felt defeated and lower than scum. He wouldn't be there to help her – even when facing her sister, probably one of their smartest, hardest foes to battle. How could he just step aside and let her go into certain war and not help?

But Star had said at the morning briefing yesterday that she had to do it alone. She would have to fight for her world, her people against her sister. Only she could do it in order to be considered the true ruler. If she had help, her people might not respect her and Blackfire would use it to her advantage to sway their feelings into rebellion. She had to do it alone.

It didn't mean he was alright with it.

"So…" he said slowly, looking up at the sky. It was a clear, beautiful day. It seemed almost traitorous. Shouldn't it have been raining? A clear sign it was a sad day, not a fun one?

"So." Star repeated. Almost like approaching a child, Star bent and scooped him into a tight hug. He felt his eyes prickle and his nose become runny. He gripped her to him and felt her lean her head on to his shoulder. "I will miss our races and your laughter Garfield."

"I'll miss your strange customs and your mustard fetish." He joked, earning a hard laugh from his friend. She sniffled and her laugh turned into a light sob. "Hey, you can't cry. If you start, Rae's gonna start and then we'll never hear the end of it."

"Hardly," Raven muttered across the way, as BB patted and rubbed Star's back in a smooth but brotherly fashion. She smelled like spicy cinnamon and fresh lilacs. She smiled like the sun and laughed as free as a toddler. She loved his jokes even if she never got them. She understood his young ways and encouraged his childishness. She was a sister to him – she was part of their ragtag family. She fit in with them when she didn't anywhere else. And he was going to really miss her.

A strong pang hit his stomach and he gripped her tighter, fighting back the urge to cry.

"You must promise me something Gar."

He didn't bat an eyelash as he nodded against her shoulder. "Name it."

She pulled him even closer and whispered into his ear. "You must keep everyone together while I am gone." She was repeating what his greatest fear had become since her return from the future. He didn't want Star to go – without her, his family would disappear. "They will need someone here who can keep them close, keep them focused on our friendship. With my leaving, I am asking that you become this person."

Sighing, he felt her pull away; the loss of her sudden and hurtful. "I'll try Star. But I'm not you."

She patted his shoulders and nodded. "No, you are better than me. That is why I asked you and trust you to do this for me."

Turning from the blushing shifter, she moved to Raven. Raven refused to make eye contact, her face set into her usual morning scowl. Raven hated mornings, even if she was normally the first one awake. BB suspected it was because she rarely slept; it didn't take a rocket scientist to know she still had nightmares sometimes. The rest of the team watched on hesitantly; Roy and Rob more specifically interested as Beast Boy wiped his nose on to his sleeve.

Instead of a hug, Star gripped her pale grey hand. Raven finally looked at her, and the look in her eyes spoke volumes; Raven wasn't handling her departure too well. She was lost, startled and distraught. BB almost cried at seeing the strongest woman he ever knew fall to pieces as Starfire said goodbye. "Please remember what we spoke of, Raven."

"I'll do my best." She muttered. Then before anyone could comprehend, Raven hugged Starfire.

She returned the embraced fiercely and Star's shoulders began to shake. When the mystic pulled back, the alien's face was drenched in tears and she looked ready to crumple. Raven nodded once in goodbye and walked to stand beside Vic. He didn't wrap an arm around her shoulders; in fact, no body touched Raven. They knew her long enough to know she didn't want to be comforted. Not when she was breaking. She wanted to appear strong – she needed the distance to be strong.

Kori moved to Dick and they stood staring at each other. He opened his mouth, once …twice before words finally came out. "You don't have to do this. We could find another way. We could help you – "

"No." Kori rebuked kindly. Robin was saying what everyone was thinking, what everyone wanted instead of letting her leave them. "This is my fight Richard. You do not belong in this war." She looked around at each of them. "My home planet needs me. It does not need the Titans. They need their Princess. I will go alone, and I will win against Blackfire." She faced Robin again.

"I don't want to say goodbye," he said quietly, voice sounding broken. He sounded how they all felt. BB's eyes teared up again and he moved to stand beside Raven, wanting to be near his friends. Kindly, Raven placed her arm within his, and they stood, leaning against each other. It was much the same way she had comforted him after Garth's death. Just her touch was keeping him grounded and stable. She was always his rock in hard times. "I can't say goodbye."

It was like a slap echoed around the Titans; two loves separating. Raven kept her eyes downcast, BB glanced to see Vic watching her with concern, and he and Roy looked at the couple. It was intimate but they couldn't look away. Gently, BB thought he finally saw what true love looked like, in the flesh. He missed feeling like his friends felt for each other; like how he e felt for Tara, such a long time ago.

"Then we will not. We will just say, until I return, yes?"

"But we don't know when that will be Star," he whispered, pulling her closer to him. His hands cupped her face, and Raven stiffened next to him. Feeling her tense next to him, BB wrapped an arm around her firm shoulders, offering a silent comfort. He didn't doubt she could probably feel what they were all feeling, making the parting even harder on the girl. Her shields weren't that strong anymore, and the feelings were probably paralyzing her.

BB couldn't imagine feeling her heart break for her friend's departure but to also feel her best friend and leader's hurt over losing his love to a battle he couldn't fight. He was surprised she was standing upright, let alone not sobbing under the sheer pressure of the emotions. He held her to his side, her head fitting just barely under his chin and gripped hard to let her know – she wasn't alone.

BB didn't have to look at Roy to know he was watching him. He wouldn't even think on what it meant – but it wasn't like BB just didn't know. Roy had that look in his eye that all love struck men had when they saw the girl of their dreams. And right now, he was giving Beast Boy the look of a possessive man without the right to possess.

Gar didn't doubt it wouldn't be long before they were a couple. He knew Roy had comforted Rae the night before. A little bird had told him – or rather, he was said bird outside the door and heard everything. She'd kill him if she ever found out.

"Then wait for me, Richard." She leaned forward and brushed her lips to his, their heights almost equal. "I will return to you once my duty is complete. I only ask, you wait for me."

There was a tense pause and he smirked, eyes shining tears. He had refused to wear his sunglasses "Of course."

They kissed, briefly, a bittersweet exchange. Star's face was wet with tears and she caressed his cheek fondly. "I have loved you since the moment I met you Richard. I will come back."

"I'll be here when you do," he vowed quietly, and let her walk away. Beside him, Raven shook like a leaf. Her knees looked ready to buckle. Without warning, Roy stepped up to her from behind, and wrapped her into his long strong arms, her face burying into the nook of his neck and shoulder. Gar's arm fell to the way side. She trembled as he held her, grip as tight as a man holding something precious and breakable.

The ease at which she went to him made BB open his mouth to tease her incessantly – but a quick look from Cy had him stopping. Now wasn't the time. Even if BB felt maybe something normal would ease the pain they were all feeling, everyone else might not appreciate it. Was this maturity?

Starfire walked to the ship and flipped a switch on the side. The glass top popped open and she entered through the portal, floating into the seat. The straps automatically secured her in place and the lights turned on. She hit three green buttons and looked up at them with so much love emitting from her orbs. "I love you all dearly. You are my friends – but you are my family. One day, I will return to my new home and we will see each other again."

Carefully the lid closed, sealing her in. BB looked up, watching as the ship rose. A heavy hand fell on to his shoulder in a miserable shared comfort. He glanced up, half expecting Vic when Richard looked down at him. His face was tired, sad and the shifter pitied his leader. It was the second time they were saying goodbye to a friend; and though he still laid the blame on his shoulders for Garth, he didn't deserve this. He didn't deserve to lose the one woman who he loved.

Nodding, he elbowed him friendly and leaned back into his strength; even if he just wanted to curl up and cry like a kid again.

Before their eyes the ship took to flight and zipped over their head, pulling their clothing and hair in the direction of its departure. It was a strong, harsh wind that followed suit, bringing the spicy and sweet scent of their alien princess away from him. BB sighed, pulling the smell to him one final time. It was only a few seconds before it was out of sight, a speck in the morning light, darting away. And just like that, she was gone.

Everyone retreated to the tower, wanting to be alone with their thoughts and digest what had just happened; of what they now had to deal with while Star was gone; grief, pain, abandonment, understanding.

Only Robin stayed at the edge of the tower, looking at the glorious sky, the sun's ray seeming to shun him. He looked like a dark statue, removed and stoic. BB didn't know how long he stayed up there, but when darkness finally came hours later, he still hadn't returned.

"He needs to eat," Raven mumbled next to Victor, at the counter. She was glancing to the rooftop absentmindedly.

"He needs time." He replied, handing her a sandwich. She pushed it away, offering it to the shifter beside them who smiled in thanks. Roy leaned on the counter by Raven's side, having already finished his meal. "And you need to eat too."

"I'm not hungry," she muttered, crossing her arms over her chest. It was half true. The other half was trying to still get the feelings of the morning out of her system; they made her nauseous. The loss of Starfire felt by everyone around her – their depression, their abandonment was all swimming in her stomach like a bad night of takeout. Food was the furthest thing from her mind. Even if was into the evening and she still hadn't had more than a few cups of tea all day.

Victor glared at the girl, willing her to look up at him. Instead she looked at the ceiling again and sighed. "I'll go talk to him."

"Rae," Roy began, pointing upwards. "He doesn't want to talk. You'd only be walking into an arguing match. And right now, I don't think you could handle that."

"What's that supposed to mean?" She dared, raising one delicate eyebrow. BB rubbed his neck and slowly retreated to the console, taking his sandwich with him, away from Raven's irritated look. He'd seen that look before.

Roy was in serious trouble.

"You know what I mean," he offered instead, voice tinged in concern. He knew she couldn't handle a fight; she was too emotionally drained as it were. A fight, especially between leader and teammate would end poorly for them. There was no telling how her powers would react, or if they would at all. Her control and their power were still tricky. "You didn't handle this morning well. You're still recovering. You're absolutely exhausted. Fighting with Dick right now, won't help either of you."

Raven opened her mouth to retort – to fight him on what she knew best for herself and her leader because Raven did know what the man needed – when Vic cut in. "He's right Rae. Leave Dick be. He needs to be alone right now. He doesn't want anyone except for the girl that left."

She glared at her adopted brother, almost calling him traitor with her eyes. The hit stung her a bit before she could react accordingly. But she deflated, and sat on the barstool Beast Boy had vacated. He was only saying the truth – even if it hurt to hear. She wasn't Kori; Robin wouldn't want to see her. "He shouldn't be alone for long. It's not good for him. We all know this."

"But right now, it is." Vic supplied, taking a large bite from his sandwich. He pointed to the various deli meats and breads surrounding the counter. Luckily for Gar, Cy had made Raven a peanut butter and jelly sandwich that he was now merrily enjoying since she had pushed her food off. "And right now you need to eat."

"I'm not hungry," she deadpanned, her eyes turning bored. Vic opened his mouth to retort; to say anything because he knew she needed to eat when a red blinking light floating into the main living room. It caught his attention, spinning him around to face BB.

The console began to blink red, just as Cy's circuits began to glow red. Raven pulled out the comm-link hanging on her shorts where a dull red fazed through the plastic and Beast Boy began to type on the console; the half sandwich was still dangling from his lips.

He sighed and pointed up at the screen. "Uh guys? We've got trouble."

"Where?" Vic asked, taking the leader role easily. He was technically second in command, and while Robin healed, he would gladly keep the team going. Robin had put the procedure in place after Brother Blood. That also meant that now Raven was considered second in command behind Cy – keeping the team in line and always thinking of the next plan when Cy could only focus on their immediate goal. It's what the mechanical man did for Robin.

She rolled her eyes at the responsibility and again glared at the ceiling. This was all his fault.

"Robbery at the laboratories. Looks like Red X is back."

"Are you sure?" Rae asked, coming up behind her teammates. If it was the infamous thief, and they didn't have Robin, they were at a serious disadvantage. "He's after xanthium?"

"Must be. It's the only suppler in the area," Cyborg replied, typing on the computer. BB fell back, finishing off his meal. "Robin made sure only one place could make the substance so as to better control the demand and Red X's involvement. We haven't seen him for some time."

"Red X?" Roy asked beside them. He was watching the screen; a skull faced figure was darting across a secure lot, cape billowing behind him. He jumped over tall canisters and subdued guards easily three times his size with a flick of his wrist. He was quick, focused and quite adaptable to the situation. Roy rubbed his neck as his face floated up to the camera and he saluted the screen. They could almost see his smirk.

There was no denying he was involved now. Raven rubbed her temples, muttering: "Great".

"Rob's creation," BB answered Roy, shrugging. "He has ways of defeating all of us. Robin tends to be the only one able to slow him down long enough to capture. Or almost capture." He rubbed his head. "We've actually never really caught him."

"And without Robin, this may be more difficult than normal," Raven said tiredly. No one felt up to a battle, but that was a part of being a hero. The criminals didn't stop just because they didn't feel up to playing.

No one mentioned the one person that could make them smile before heading into battle. It was still too fresh. It was still too much to go on without her.

"Ah," the archer nodded. He pointed to the screen. "Sounds like you could need a wildcard. How about I help out?"

Raven's wide eyes caught him as Cyborg high fived him. He could see her worry, but he ignored it. This was one thing he wanted to talk to her about. After their talk, Speedy had delved into what he wanted – into who he wanted to be. And he had finally figured it out. "Alright, add Speedy to the roster. I like it."

At the sad but cocky smile, Roy shook his head. He stood taller, proud, hip cocked before he addresses Cy. "Not Speedy. It's Arsenal now."

"Arsenal?" BB prodded from the backseat of the T-Car. Raven gritted her teeth, trying in vain to stop the urge to strangle the young man beside her. Her nerves were shot, she was tired from not eating nor resting, her best friend had left her, her leader was in seclusion, and she was desperately trying to remain calm so she could handle her powers – it was the first real battle she had been on since Garth's death and her coma trance. Robin had made sure she played as small a role as possible when they were going into a battle; and she hadn't really needed her powers saving Roy. Now was her first test and she was unsure if she was up to it.

And Beast Boy just wouldn't stop asking Arsenal questions. It was slowly driving her insane. All she wanted was silence. It was a losing battle. "Like an arsenal? Like with weapons? And stuff?"

Arsenal laughed from the front seat, twisting a black arrowhead on to a long red rod. His bow was metal and compact and it sat lying on his lap in a small intelligential heap. "Arsenal as in weapons, yes. I've tricked out a lot of arrows for different purposes. It's something I've been working on for awhile."

Neither he nor Rae mentioned he hadn't planned to use the creation for some time. With his falling out with his mentor, it had sped the process up, making his newest obsession his newest way of defending innocents. Even if Ollie didn't think he was worthy of a mantle, he still had this urge to help people; he wanted to be the hero Oliver Queen was, and he would do it on his own.

He shrugged, pushing the arrow into his quiver. He didn't say anything but Raven could see the pain of the fall out lingering to him like day old cologne. "It's still being developed."

"And you're just going to walk into a battle without anything more than a few fancy arrows?!" The shifter shrieked from the backseat, arms flying around him. Raven pulled down her navy blue hood and glared into the rearview mirror. "We're all screwed." He moaned dramatically.

"I swear Cyborg, if he doesn't stop talking, I'm throwing him out of the car. While you drive."

Cy snorted as the green man glared at his friend. He even pouted. "That seems a bit excessive."

"It'll soothe my annoyances just fine."

Clearing his throat, Cy jerked a thumb to the archer. "I say fancy arrows might be the deal breaker with Red X. Especially without Robin. He hasn't had time to plan for the new player." He high fived the man again, both grinning like young boys, even if both were now officially out of their teens. Raven couldn't help the eye roll.

"I still think it's a death sentence." BB muttered.

Raven's eyes began to glow white and black magic danced around her fingertips like fiery flames. "That's it. I'm throwing him out."

Pulling up to the secure lot, the team could hear the sirens still wailing into the calm night. Guard bodies were lying around the pavement, mostly subdued and unconscious. The smoke bombs Red-X liked to use were still polluting the air giving everything an eerie feel. Cyborg stepped forward, shoulder flash light turning on and computer screen popped up. "I can detect his faint signature in the area. He hasn't gone far."

"He probably hasn't had a chance to juice up," Arsenal commented, drawing an arrow from his pack. His outfit was similar to his Speedy uniform except painted a deepy ruby and his belt was now black with his orange locks styled up, much like Robin had done before they grew out. Their leader now had to wear them styled differently. "How about we clean up the smoke and try to find him?"

Cyborg glanced back to Raven, her hood up and eyes glowing white. "Rae?"

Raven smirked and lifted her hands up into the air. Without Trigon in her mind, she no longer needed to utter her words for focus and control. But it didn't mean she stopped using them; they were a security blanket to her, something tangible and loved. And with her shaky trust in her own abilities it was something she could use, to fall on and give herself a center to focus on.

She also didn't comment on Cyborg's utter trust in her abilities. She knew she had been off her game since Trigon's death, her coma after Garth's death and Robin's over protectiveness; basically making her relearn all of her abilities again without relying on her father's influence. But Cyborg's confidence in her control and his look of understanding was enough fuel to quiet her rampant mind and summon a strong gust of wind. "Azarath Mentrion Zinthos!"

Her hands pulsed black as wind blew the smoke away from them. It dissipated and she heard Beast Boy whistle low. "Damn Rae." She silently welcomed the compliment. Her powers had gotten stronger, much stronger than she had ever anticipated; and it felt good for others to notice the hard work she had been putting in.

Even if Robin didn't fully trust her control yet.

"Great, we need to spilt up." Cyborg pointed at Rae and she held up a hand.

"I refuse to be paired up with BB," she said softly, voice devoid of emotions. "I'll likely kill him."

The green changeling mock glared at his friend. "Harsh Rae." Then looking at Cy, his shoulders dropped. "But dude, she's right and I'd like to live through tonight." Even he knew he was testing her patience.

Shaking his head, Cyborg waved the little man closer to him. "Fine. You two are like children sometimes." At Raven's raised eyebrow, he refused to further comment. "BB, you're with me. Arsenal and Rae take the right. We'll canvas the left. Meet back in fifteen minutes if you don't find him." Hitting a few buttons on his screen, he sent a link to what he was tracking to Raven's comm.-link. "I'm following the trail of xanthium. There's a wide span since he's been teleporting so much in this area so it's not of the greatest help. But who knows."

"Understood." Arsenal agreed, cocking an arrow and keeping it in front of him. "After you Rae-Rae."

Cringing, Raven glared, following the path to the right of the compound. She didn't have to look back to see Beast Boy laughing; she was going to strangle the archer saying his nickname for her in front of the green man. She'd never heard the end of it.

Walking a few paces away from their teammates, she felt tension building between them like a heavy fog. Raven had been avoiding Roy since she had awoken that morning, cocooned in his arms and ignoring the warm blush over her cheeks. She didn't want to admit it, but it felt good to be there. She felt safe and protected and it was the first time in months she had slept through the night.

That morning had been plain heartbreaking for the young woman, but Roy's arms had given her a reprieve she hadn't expected. He was stable and grounded; he was her anchor in a storm that she felt she would be washed away in. Never before had she felt that way – not even with Robin.

"Thank you," she said suddenly. She stopped short, berating herself. Why had she said that? Being on a mission was not the time for gratitude. Didn't she always make sly comments during the action-romance movies BB or Star put on during their off time? There was no time during a dangerous moment for heartfelt admissions.

But she had to say something. She had to convey to him how she felt; she was grateful for his help. She had to make him aware of that even if it was cliché.

"For?" He drawled, smirking back at her. Somehow he had taken the lead, protecting her like he had been the last few nights. Why did he keep doing that?

She huffed, rolling her eyes. It's not like she needed it. She was a half demon mystic, born of a demon and trained by powerful monks. Protection wasn't something she needed. "You know why," she muttered, gripping her cloak closer to her body. They were searching the alleyways between the cement buildings and hadn't seen anything of the thief. Her tracker was going off the further they went, but she hardly put any stock in it.

"I want to hear you say it," the archer quipped and Raven looked to the sky for patience. He was going to make her say it – whether she wanted to or not.

"For…" what exactly was she thankful for anyway? Racking her mind, Raven could only come up with one thing. She stopped short and Roy noticed, stopping only a few paces away. "For being there for me."

His face softened and something passed in his eyes. It was something Raven had never seen directed at her. It wasn't pity or sympathy. It was an understanding tinged with something else; something foreign. "Rae, I'm always here for you. You were there for me for months while I recovered. I want to be there for you."

Nodding, Raven looked off to the side, concealed in her blue cloak. "I know. It's what friends do. But I've never had anyone…"

"Break down your walls? Force you to talk? Make you feel connected?" Arsenal shook his head, cursing Robin and his team. They were Raven's family and they had done so much for the empath, especially the bird. But what they completely misunderstood about the dark goddess was her boundaries; she had them but wanted someone to break them, to show her their determination to be with her. She just wanted someone to prove to her she was worth it.

He had wanted so badly to confess to his feelings for the woman, but mixed with Star's departure and the needs in Jump City, there had been no time. Well, there was no time like the present. Arsenal wasn't anything but an opportunist even during a battle. "Raven, I'm your friend. I'm here for you. And hopefully-"

"Isn't this touching," a robotic voice said above them.

Stilling, Raven looked upward, eyes glowing white. "Red-X." She greeted coolly, her warmed up tones gone in the blink of an eye.

"Ah, the formidable witch." He jumped from the roof, landing into a perfect stop before her feet. He was oddly graceful; he reminded Arsenal instantly of an older Robin.

Leaning over Raven's head, his mask neared her ear. "You've grown up some."

"I'm thrilled you noticed." Quickly, Arsenal stepped forward, arrow pointed at the masked thief's neck.

"Looks like you added a new player," he drawled smoothly, head tilting as if looking up at Arsenal's face. "No bird saving you now; you've upgraded."

"Shut up X." Raven mumbled, raising two hands encased in back. She threw him back against the wall, eyes blazing in magic. She could almost feel his shock. She didn't notice Arsenal's glare at Robin's mention. "I don't need my words anymore to summon my magic."

She refused to elaborate; like how using the words gave her more focus. Or how using her words when she felt so conflicted were better for the person or object she held. How it calmed her, made her feel right – how she didn't have to worry when she said the words that she'd accidentally make the object explode. Red-X didn't need to know that.

Arsenal moved closer, arrow pulled back taunt in his bow. He pushed a button on his arm wrist and began to speak. "Cy, we've got him."

"Moving to your location now."

"Ah, something is up." Red-X commented lightly, adjusting his hands against Raven's bonds. "No Robin leading the group. No princess sweetheart flying overhead. Makes a thief wonder." His head fell forward, locking on Raven. "What happened dark lady? Did you finally take what was yours'?"

Blood boiling, Raven's eyes widened. "Shut up." Her heart was beating profusely in her chest, causing her breath to come out in puffs. "We need to get the xanthium from him."

He tsked, laughing into the mouthpiece of his mask. "If you can find it. I'm not holding it on my person, doll face." His voice dropped, pure seduction coating his words. "Want to search me dark bird?"

"I think I'm going to be sick," Raven sighed, holding her head up with a hand. Her emotions were pounding against her skull and anger was at the forefront of the charge.

Anger at the thief. At herself for only nights ago thinking of taking Robin – of making him see how she felt. Her anger at Arsenal for always being there. For trying to understand when he just couldn't. Anger at Star for leaving them – leaving her. It consumed her, making her control faulty.

"I'd love to see what you look like under your mask." Arsenal quipped, moving closer to the man. He stopped laughing and he stilled as Arsenal smirked. Raven took a deep breath and gripped on to the little bit of control she had left with a death vice. But it was so tiring and she couldn't hear herself think. "Maybe see who you really are. Perhaps you're someone important? Maybe you're a no body." Arsenal placed the sharp arrow against his chest. "I'll bet you're a no body. Someone who talks a big game, who doesn't know anything about life. A real piece of work."

Growling, the masked man leaned forward, digging the arrow involuntarily into his chest further. There would be blood under his uniform. Raven could smell it. "And who are you to assume so much?"

"Arsenal." He replied easily, voice hard and direct. It was carefree but edged with a bite. Raven had learned long ago that was his battle voice. Robin had one, Cyborg had one – even Beast Boy had one.

"Well Arsenal," Red-X began inching closer. "You look like a broken boy in a grown-up's suit. And I'm a great judge of character. I'd know exactly what to do to incapacitate you. A few modifications and that'd be it next time we met."

Arsenal smirked, ready to respond to the man – he loved a battle of wits with an ass that had been caught – when Raven growled like a wounded animal behind him. Turning, he saw her lift into the air, black energy surrounding her lithe frame like an angry tornado, and she let it loose on the criminal.

It knocked into him, banging his head off of the concrete wall with a sickening crack. He slumped instantly and Raven's bonds disappeared from his arms. Quietly, he crumpled to the floor in a heap of bones and limbs, mouth shut and barely breathing.

Shocked, Arsenal opened his mouth as Rae raised a hand. "Don't." She rubbed her temples and swayed on her feet. Her voice was laced in pain and fatigue. "I lost control." And the confidence Cyborg had shown in her made the outburst that much more unbearable. He had thought she was ok – he had figured she could do this. She had thought she could do this. She had practiced and practiced and meditated and concentrated – all to fail in the end. It was a crushing blow.

And clearly Cyborg's assurance was misplaced; just like Robin was right. Guilt swam in her gut and Arsenals' hands on her shoulders steadied her. "There's nothing wrong with losing control, Rae. You're still healing – healing from Trigon and from Star's departure. It's alright."

She shook his hands off even as her eyes began to tear up. She failed and in the worst way possible – harming another person. She spent her whole life keeping control of herself, of her emotions, of her body and her mind so she wouldn't hurt anyone; but she failed when it counted most.

"No, it's not."

Cyborg and Beast Boy rounded the corner, BB about to shift into a feathered creature and Cy with his laser pointed out forward. When they saw Red-X crumpled on the ground, they stopped short, mouths hanging open in shock and confusion.

"I'm going home." She deadpanned and teleported into a vortex of swirling black and white magic.

It was hours later when she heard the guys return home to the Tower. She didn't open her door when Roy knocked, or when Gar pleaded to see her or when Cyborg threatened to break the door down. She couldn't face them – she didn't want to face them.

She spent the majority of her time back at the tower meditating, grabbing anger by the throat and locking it away for as long as the bonds would hold. She chanted silently and loudly and tried everything to regain the calm she so desperately needed – craved to have again. When the Tower was silent, hours after her teammates were asleep, her hands stopped shaking and her nose stopped running.

She had lost control. She had hurt someone. It didn't matter if that person was good, evil, demented or angelic – she had lost control and hurt them. No matter what Roy said, or Cyborg reminded her, or BB pleaded with her – it had been wrong. How could she trust herself again? How could her teammates ever rely on her again if she couldn't control herself?

A hesitant calm filled her body as hunger gripped her belly; she'd much rather remain in her room but her body had needs. It had been days since she last ate and she knew Cyborg would kill her if he found out – and grudgingly she opened her door and walked to the kitchen in search of a snack. She could've teleported but after the day's events, she didn't want to test her luck. She was lucky to have arrived home in one piece after hurting Red-X.

Softly she padded to the fridge, peering into it when a clearing of a voice behind her had the witch bolting upright. The door slammed shut and she glanced back, looking into the tired twin blue orbs of her leader, Richard.

"You must be out of it if you didn't sense me," he drawled, leaning on the counter. He was right as always – but she didn't remind him that she wouldn't have sensed him under normal circumstances since putting that block up on their link. He was perched on the barstool and looked as if he had been for awhile with an empty plate sitting before him, a cup of cold coffee beside it.

"Clearly," she mumbled, turning back to the fridge. She pulled out a small container of cold seasoned chicken and dug around for the leftover vegetables. It was one of the few meals Gar had prepared that wasn't strictly tofu.

"Heard about today," Dick began arms crossing over his broad chest. He had changed since that morning, showered but still looked dejected. She couldn't imagine the grief that was swimming behind his sky colored eyes. She had only felt a bit earlier but without their link and his own shields, she was only getting whispers of emotions from him. Dick had been taught by the best to shield himself mentally and emotionally. "Cy said you and Red-X had a few blows."

She chewed thoughtfully and ignored the urge to hide from his inquisitive stare. The chicken tasted like ash on her tongue but she continued to pick and eat at it. "Is that what he said?"

"Did you get hurt?" His eyes turned sharp – as if inspecting for damages on the surface of her body. He stood abruptly, and moved closer to her, lifting hair from her pale neck to peer closer. The ghost of his touch made her spine straighten and her emotions almost begged her to lean into the comfort. To let him comfort her as he normally did to Starfire. "Red-X is hard to contain, whatever you had to do to restrain him is completely-"

"I lost control," she snapped, pulling away from his touch. Her stomach churned and she put the food on to the counter, appetite gone. All she wanted was his concern and love – but she couldn't have it. Teasing her was doing nothing but causing her pain. She wasn't Kori, she couldn't be her. He shouldn't even try to comfort her. It only hurt her more to realize that. "Red-X is hurt because I couldn't control my powers."

Dick inhaled sharply and nodded. "Vic didn't mention that."

"I'll bet," she muttered. She refused to look at him, instead turning to the kettle. Tea. Tea would help her. "He also probably didn't mention how I freaked out. Red-X is vile but smooth. He got under my skin. And I lost control of my anger. Then ran away." She looked under heavy lashes at her leader, putting a tea bag into her cream colored mug with a funny quote – a gift from Gar. "He's hurt because of me and I left my team there to deal with it. You were right."

"Right?" He seemed to be looking her over with more worry now. She was sure she was just imagining it. "Right about what?"

"Not being ready for battle." She snapped, pushing away from him. She could feel her hard won calm start to collapse. "I can barely control my emotions, what use am I in the field? You kept me out of battles until now and you were right. I'm not ready. I can't be counted on out there."

She sighed, pulling the kettle from the stove just as it began to whistle. He was silent, watching her prepare her drink. "When we lost Garth, Vic took it hard. He thought it was his fault because he hadn't saved him; because as a machine what good was he if he couldn't save a friend, let alone innocents. I didn't understand his reasoning – now I do. Since that battle, I've been shaky. My control has been unstable – more so than before. Rescuing Roy only took my wit and strategy, relying on my powers was never an option. But now, after healing and realizing how little control I have, I see that you're right. I'm not fit to fight. Not yet."

Another battle, when dark magic threatened to consume her, came unbridled to her mind. She had been a mess then – and it reminded her of how much she was losing now. She would never go back to that again; swayed by kind loving words and possessed by darkness. She was stronger than that – she would be better than that. She had made herself that promise when she trapped the dragon in the damned book and locked it into her chest years ago.

She turned to leave when his hand on her arm stopped her. She hesitantly glanced up, seeing pure sadness on her leader's face. In an instant, she forgot her own worries and focused on him. "You are fit for battle Raven. I never thought you weren't."

Sighing, he shrugged, never releasing her. "I've been so wrapped up in my life; I didn't realize how much I was neglecting outside of it. After you woke up from the healing trance, I let you be. I should've pushed you, trained with you, and helped you – like a leader and best friend should. You are fit and you've done tremendous work on your own, but maybe you could use some help? Maybe from someone else to get you battle-ready; if you don't feel confident enough on your own?"

"I can help," Roy interrupted, his voice low and coated in sleep. Raven jumped from Richard's touch and turned toward the archer, seeing heavy bags under his eyes and a few angry scratches on his arm. They were raised and red, glistening fine ruby blood drops.

Without thinking, she raised one hand, glowing a sparkled blue, and gesture to his arm. "You're hurt. Let me heal you."

He grabbed her wrist and smirked, heading tilting as he studied her. "On one condition. What Rob said was right. Maybe you need help. Maybe you need to start trusting someone else to help you. And I'll let you heal me if you let me train with you. Meditation can only go so far, Rae-Rae."

Glaring tiredly, she nodded once and pointed at his arm. "We can work together to figure everything out. Just let me heal those marks."

Grinning teasingly, he let her work on his arm. Dick stood by, arms crossed over his chest. Nodding toward the dark woman Roy whistled low in the night. "Battle scars. Always a treat after manhandling a thief into a cop car."

"He lived?" Raven asked, face colored in shock.

"Of course he did," Roy replied, looking her over. "Rae, what I said still holds true. It's alright to mess up once in awhile. We're not perfect. You lost control, so what? There's always tomorrow to fix it."

"But Red-X is okay?" Dick clarified, moving from the couple with a few more steps.

Nodding, he smirked. "He's fine. Cracked head, but he deserved it." Raven released his arm and sipped from her mug. "Dark girl here basically knocked him out. But he'll live and he was snippy when I was putting him away. Hence the claw marks."

Letting a breath of relief go, Roy turned to her and pushed a longish piece of hair behind her ear. "Today was rough on all of us. You might think you need more control, but what I saw today was just a young hero lashing out after losing someone dear to them – and the jerk needed it after his taunts. You did fine today, Rae. But if you want the extra help, I'm all in."

"Good," Dick concluded, noticing Raven's content but shy smile. He didn't think on it long. "Roy, you and Raven will work together to hone her skills. This way, come another battle, she'll have more confidence in her abilities and in herself." He indicated the door and rubbed the back of his neck tiredly. "I'm heading to sleep. I hope both of you get some too. We could all use it."

Walking from them, Dick let the doors slide shut as he continued to look ahead. The pang, of something heavy was lodged into his gut when he saw Roy look at Raven; he couldn't place what it was. But he gathered it had to be because of his own sadness and depression at losing his love. Seeing Roy and Raven only drove home that he was alone – that Kori was gone.

He wasn't worried about hearing from her for at least a few days; she had told him repeatedly it wouldn't be a short trip. But she was out there, alone and he missed her.

"Richard!" Raven called out, steadily walking toward him. He stopped and glanced back, feeling the pang again – what was that? "Are you alright? After everything today – I wanted to check on you but-"

"But you didn't. And that was probably for the best." He tried to smile because it was true. They had an understanding of privacy and space between them. He wouldn't admit it out loud but he had craved her presence when Kori left; but he understood why she hadn't sought him out.

He couldn't say under the same circumstances, he would've sought her out. He was often the one fighting for her right to privacy.

"Are you alright?" She asked again. Her eyes were searching his unmasked ones and it took everything to hold back from falling apart in front of her. It wasn't her battle to deal with; this was just one step that he would have to overcome. Alone.

Her leader – her teammate, friend, the first person that had believed in her, had stood up for her and her cause – shrugged and winced as he tried to smile again. "I'm not even sure anymore. I just need to sleep right now."

And with that, he turned on his heel and all but fled to his room. The want to fall apart, the urge to cry was so real that when Raven gave him the chance to succumb to his feelings, he almost came undone. But he couldn't.

He was the leader. He was supposed to be strong. Raven was having troubles with her powers. Roy was recovering still – he still didn't know what occurred when they went on their trip together. Cy and BB were grieving the loss of two friends – one that left voluntarily and one by death. He had to be strong for them. It was his duty.

He still couldn't stop the two tears that fell from his eyes, when he gazed at the frame picture of him and Kori, which sat on his cluttered desk of paperwork. They had been sitting on the beach, in swimsuits, sunglasses obstructing their eyes, smiling like two teens in love. The pang grew heavy and hard within in his gut.

He missed her.

AN: Not nearly what I wanted accomplish here… but at least it's an update. Kori's departure and Raven's abandonment issues were the leads here. I didn't even dive into Robin's feelings too much. All that will be address next chapter (which won't take long because that's actually been completed before the story was published).

And excuse my lack of attentiveness here. I was given another promotion and I work the weirdest schedule alive which leaves no energy for writing. For that, I'm terribly sorry.

Drop me a line and tell me what you think?

Peace