Hey lovelies, sorry I haven't been able to update but I've been super busy with my friend's wedding, I'm her Maid of Honor and it gets kind of crazy. I edited this chapter as best I could to be able to share it. It's definitely longer than the other chapters, I probably should've cut it in half but oh well, I'd LOVE some reviews.

Chapter 5

The locust and sixer monsters were dying off. I don't even remember walking upstairs, but here I was sitting on the edge of the mattress in the attic trying to grasp what that meant. DeeDum said they had found several dead bodies with no apparent wounds or signs of struggle and apparently the government is cleaning it up and keeping the whole thing hush, hush; most likely to study the corpses and experiment on them. Like the doc had said, their life expectancy was short, very short in fact, but what did that mean for my sister and the other children? That was the million dollar question that had me on the verge of screaming. If these experiments weren't intended to live long, where did that leave my sister, she was an experiment also.

I groaned in frustration, throwing my body against the mattress. I would never be able to live with myself if something happened to Paige. The guilt of everything that had happened to her, was already killing me slowly, I didn't think I could handle more. My eyes burned and my body felt as if I had been run over by a truck several times over, while my mind fought against a wall of fog. I needed to get some rest and clear my head, tomorrow I would talk to Raffe-he'd never stayed away for more than a day-about this and maybe get some answers from Laylah and the doc. I could barely hold my lids open, sleep was settling around me and I welcomed it with open arms; hopefully I could get a full night's sleep for once.

I stood over a surgical table as Paige struggled to break free of the restraints that held her down. She was screaming, thrashing and crying for my help to the point that her small wrists were cut and bleeding from the pull of the plastic that bound them to the table.

I smiled bitterly at her, then slowly and deliberately I sliced through her skin with a small, sharp knife. Her sweet face split from the corner of her lips to the ear, spilling crimson blood which pooled around her head and fell onto the white, tile floor like a macabre waterfall.

I banged against an invisible wall as I watched myself torture Paige; only that couldn't possibly be me, I would never do such horrific things to her. It felt like an outer body experience, I could see everything that was happening but locked behind a transparent screen or a glass wall, unable to stop the thing that looked like me from cutting up my little sister.

I pounded on that wall and screamed and cursed until I couldn't breath, every cut the other me inflicted on Paige's skin made my insides turned to ice and dread. She screamed for me to stop hurting her and I screamed at myself for doing it. I screamed at Paige that it wasn't really me, that I would never hurt her, but nothing changed. I had to watch it over and over for what seemed like hours. The version of me sitting behind the glass knew this was a dream but I couldn't make myself wake up no matter what I did. I yelled, I pinched myself, I even slapped my face. The screams only intensified until my ears rang and my tear ducts couldn't produce any more liquid. I hugged my knees to my chest and shut my eyes as tightly as I could, taking the coward's way out. I didn't want to see anymore.

When I did open my eyes, everything had changed. I was lying in a hole In the ground, and shadows surrounded me from above. It was dark, I had to blink several times to make out the figures above me, it wasn't shadows it was children like Paige. She was there too, looking down at me with so much hate filling her innocent face that It made my chest constrict painfully.

"You did this to me." She accused in a tone I barely recognized.

No! I wanted to tell her but my lips wouldn't move.

"You never loved me, you turned me into a monster!" Her words cut me deep. My heart throbbed painfully and I wanted to wrap my arms around my body to keep it from breaking but I couldn't move at all. It was like the time I was stung by the Locust, I was paralyzed.

She waited for me to say something and in my head I was yelling at the top of my lungs but no words were coming out of my mouth, I couldn't even blink.

"Why did you do this to me?! I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!" God her words were breaking my heart. I wanted to hug her and tell her how much I loved her, how I would've taken her place in a second if I could turn back time. I wanted to tell her so many things but my useless body wouldn't cooperate. I didn't help Paige then and I couldn't help her now.

My sister screamed at me with hate and despair marring her face. She screamed at me expecting me to say something, to deny her accusations, but I could only stare at her, unblinking, unmoving and uncaring. My throat constricted painfully from the sobs that were stuck in there, unable to break free just like the rest of me.

This went on for hours, sometimes it was Paige glowering at me and screaming her accusations other times the children around her bit into my flesh; their voices a cacophony of incoherent growls and moans. The pain was so excruciating that it would momentarily made me forget that this was only a dream. I could usually make myself wake up, but something was wrong. I was trapped in this nightmare, slowly losing my sense of reality.

Abruptly the ground beneath me opened like a grave and I began to fall in, my vision becoming a tunnel as the darkness dragged me under; I wanted to succumb to its promise of relief but there was a part of me that knew I shouldn't, I wasn't a quitter, I had to fight, I had to come out of this nightmare.

Finding the last of my strength, I rebelled against the blackness, pushing against it, until I could almost taste freedom. Then the most hideous creature I had ever seen jumped down on me-from the open hole above me-pushing me further down; Its mouth like a shark's with rows and rows of needle, sharp teeth snapping at my face.

"Mine, I eat you." It growled, spewing drool and maggots at me. The stench coming out of its mouth nearly choked me with revulsion.

I closed my eyes and screamed loud enough to wake the dead.

"Penryn." I knew that voice, it was far away, barely discernible and it sounded anxious but comforting at the same time.

"Wake up." I followed it grabbing onto its familiarity like a lifeline, I pushed myself out of the clutches of the nightmare bolting upright; my arms flailing about and pushing at something hard as I thrashed to get away from the creature.

"Penryn stop, it's me, open your eyes."

I had to fight this thing, I knew that if I let it drag me under I would never resurface again.

"It's Raffe."

With those words my eyes finally snapped open. everything was a big blurred, I had to blink several times to clear my vision.

"Raffe?" I gasped, and my voice sounded like I'd been shoving sandpaper down my throat.

"It's okay, is me." I threw my arms around his neck and buried my head against his chest, allowing his warmth to soothe away the horrific images.

"Shh...I'm here." He held me in his arms and rubbed my back with soft, comforting strokes.

"Christ, you're shaking, what's wrong?" Concern was clear in his voice, which rapidly prompted me to pull out of his arms taking a few long, calming breaths.

"I'm sorry, it was... just a bad dream." I tried sounding compose but my voice betrayed me, shaking as much as my body.

"You're crying." Raffe points out, eyes widening with worried as his thumbs catched the runaway tears I hadn't realized I'd been shedding.

I quickly moved away from his careful touch and wiped my face, feeling a sudden rush of heat taint my cheeks.

"It's nothing." I say quickly, plastering a reassuring smile on my face, not wanting him to see me like this.

Raffe's expression remained speculative as his unwavering gaze threatened to rip the truth from my lips. A truth that terrified me to my very core with each passing day. Now the monsters were talking to me-just like they did to my mother.

You'll end up just like her.

Said an insidious voice inside my head. I shook the thought away refusing to believe it. This would pass, it was just bad dreams as a result of every horrible thing my mind had endured these past few months.

"I could hear you screaming from outside, I thought someone was hurting you." I let out a shaky laugh.

"Wow, that must've been one hell of a nightmare, but honestly I can't even remember it." I brushed off his concern by making light of the situation. I didn't want Raffe to worry about me or think I couldn't deal, that would be worse than the nightmares.

He narrowed his gaze and pursed his lips, clearly not convinced with my dismissive answer. Once again he caressed my cheek with the back of his hand, lingering for a long silent moment before he spoke.

"You don't always have to be so brave you know." His voice went velvety soft as he searched my face. I stared back into his probing eyes, with an aching urge to tell him everything and have him make it all better for once in my life. It was a naive thought, that's not how life worked. Raffe saw me as an equal, a warrior and I couldn't bare to have him look at me as a damsel in distress.

"Well, you don't always have to come to my rescue." I joked, ignoring the way his comment and his touch made me feel warm inside despite my reservations. I wanted to lean in, wrap myself around him and forget about all the things that haunted me. His gaze didn't falter as he deliberated on whether to press the issue or not, I'd guess.

"I thought that was my job as prince charming." He smile but it was tentative, guarded. But I felt relief in the change of subject.

"No, your job as prince charming is to serenade me through the window while professing your undying love." His smile widened.

"I draw the line at singing, unfortunately that's not one of my many talents."

Still feeling rattled by the nightmare, I got to my feet and walked towards the little table by the window where I had placed a cup of water, taking a long sip before speaking.

"I might have to find myself a new prince charming then-"

"Hey." Raffe interrupted, appearing at my side. He grabbed a hold of my hand and examined the bandage wrapped around my wrist.

"What happened here?" I exhaled, not really wanting to go into the whole Bodden thing. I was pretty sure he wasn't going to be a problem anymore.

"Nothing." I shrugged.

"Just a minor altercation with a douchebag." I added, rolling my eyes.

"Someone did this to you?" I looked at him, surprised by the serious edge of his voice.

"Yeah...I had words with Bodden-you should remember him from the old camp, I broke his nose?" He chuckled but it didn't erase the spark of anger in his eyes or the hard edge of his jaw.

"You broke his nose again?" He asked, arching his brows.

I took another drink of water, needing to clear the sandy-cottony sensation in my mouth.

"Not exactly. I intended to, but It didn't work out the way I had hoped." I finished sheepishly.

"Elaborate?" He persisted, in a clipped tone. I really didn't want to talk about how he humiliated me in front of half the camp, it only added insult to the injury.

Sigh...

"He was just being his typical-douchebag-self, calling me an angelwhore and trying to convince everyone that since I was sleeping with the enemy-namely you- I should be kicked out of the camp." His eyes narrowed into thin slits.

"Guess people are still feeling a little touchy over the whole apocalypse thing huh." I intended it to be a joke but Raffe's stone expression didn't change.

"Anywho, I got in his face about it and he slapped me and I tried to punch him but I twisted my wrist instead, which did wonders for my bad-ass rep by the way." If I thought he looked pissed before, well now he looked as if he was about to turn into the Incredible Hulk.

"HE DID WHAT?!" He spoke the words through gritted teeth, nostrils flaring and hands fisting at his sides.

"It's not a big deal, I handled it. Besides is not as if he hasn't pull this before, you were there the last time I got into it with him." He flinched at the reminder and I instantly felt guilty for bringing it up. I didn't blame Raffe for not interfering that first time, we were trying to remain inconspicuous.

"You weren't mine to protect back then, and trust me, that wouldn't have stopped me from beating him senseless, which, I gladly would have if it weren't for the fact that we were trying to keep a low profile."

He grabbed hold of my chin and carefully twisted my face from one side to the other, studying me. The way he touched me so softly was in complete contrast to the seething tone of his voice and the anger rolling off of him in waves.

I couldn't help the surge of girlie pride I felt at his words, even as medieval as they sounded. I was his, completely and undeniably.

"Bodden is an ass everyone knows that." Seeming satisfied with his inspection he let go of my chin. Thankfully the red welt had disappeared.

"Yeah and is about time someone showed him some manners. I told you once before, I will not tolerate disrespect."

A part of me loved this protective side of him but there were bigger things to worry about right now and I desperately needed an outlet. If I could focus on getting Paige and the other children better, maybe the nightmares would stop.

"Cap put him in his place, he won't bother me again."

"And I'll personally make sure of it." The threat in his steel coated voice had me almost feeling bad for Bodden, almost.

"As sexy as the sound of you kicking Bodden's ass sounds, can we focus on something a little more pressing?"

He lifted an eyebrow and I could've sworn I saw his lips twitch as if holding back a smile. Walking over to the tiny bed he eased his long body down on the mattress crossing his ankles and leaning his back against the wall.

"By all means, speak your mind." he made a proceeding motion with his hand, sounding as relaxed as he looked, dominating the small bed.

"The twins told me that the sixers and locust are dying off, they found several bodies around the city."

He didn't react immediately to my statement, instead his hooded eyes focused on mine, as he padded the tiny space beside him, the corner of his mouth lifting in a sexy grin.

"Come sit with me." There was something like a challenge reflected in those eyes, as if he thought I'd refuse. I looked at the tiny space beside him and furrowed my eyebrows wondering how we'd both fit in there, seemed unlikely. Reading my doubtful expression, his hand shot out in that lightning fast way he moved sometimes and in less than a second I was sitting with my back against his chest, my body between his legs while his arms circled my waist. I let out a high squeal in surprise.

"Did you just squeak?" He asked, voice amused.

"I don't squeak, I'm not a chew toy." He snickered.

"Be that as it may, it sounded like a squeak to me."

I rolled my eyes, trying to relax. I was very aware of every hard curve of muscle pressed against my back. Did I forget to mention he was shirtless, again.

"Well, what did you expect, you surprised me with your superman speed."

I fidgeted some more, not used to Raffe acting like this, his previous m.o. had been to avoid any physical interaction with me and now he was deliberately seeking it out. I was thrilled of course but also taken aback.

"Relax, I'm not going to ravish you." He whispered in a husky tone near my ear, causing shivers to run down my skin. My face flamed and I was glad my back was to him.

"Okay." I finally said in a breathy voice, after a long-nervous pause.

Sighing, I Let my head fall back against his chest, relaxing my shoulders. I felt the tension seeping from my body almost instantly.

"No arguments? I'm shocked! You sure you're alright?" He teased, his breath tickling my neck.

I elbowed his ribcage but he didn't even flinch.

"I'm fine, don't ruin the moment." He chuckled, placing a kiss on my shoulder. I gasped a little at the casualness of his gesture and my heart did a little flip of excitement.

"Now, what's this about the sixers and locust?"