Hey guys! So, it's meeting time for Brooke and Megan! I've figured that this chapter is going to be really long so it is going to be split up into different parts. And, Brooke also has to tell someone about Megan, but who is it? Read on and find out! Keep reviewing guys! ImJustLoafly xo
Chapter 6 (Part 1)
Megan's POV
So today is the day. I don't really know how I feel right now. Should I feel excited, nervous, happy, and sad? There are just too many emotions and not enough space in my brain. I pull myself up from the comfortable bed in 'my bedroom' and gaze over at the clock. 7:45 am, damn that's early. I can't sleep, just thinking about what I am going to do today makes me frantic.
I need to pick something nice to wear, I mean my birthmother is a fashion designer, I can't show up looking like some tramp on crack. Sweeping my feet off to the side of my bed, I walk towards my wardrobe and scan all of my clothes. I'll just go for my usual outfit maybe, no that's too casual…
I pull out all of my clothes and lay it on my bed trying to mentally picture some of the clothes on me; it's not going great I must admit. Deciding that it would be best if I have a shower first I go into the bathroom.
Panic is seeping into my brain. Stripping off, I jump into the shower quickly and turn the water to one of the highest settings – I always like hot showers. I can't think about anything clearly. I start to wonder if she will be disappointed by the girl that she'll see in front of her. Haley told me that she told her yesterday that I was here. I wonder how Brooke – sorry, my mom – feels right now. Is she awake right now feeling just as frantic as I am?
I decide to try and not think about what is going to happen today too much, and continue to wash in the almost boiling water.
-X-X-X-X-
Brooke's POV
Last night. Last night I found out that my daughter who I haven't seen for, now, over sixteen years, is in Tree Hill and she is coming today to my house – me and Julian's house – to see me. I wish that I had more time to prepare. I wish I had more time to be less frantic. But, then I guess that I have had plenty of time; I mean I've had over sixteen years to prepare for this moment...
I think, only now I have realised how much better of a mother I could have been to my baby girl. I didn't have to give her up for adoption. I didn't have to make her a secret. I didn't have to lie about how I spent my summer all those years ago. I didn't have to do any of those things. So why did I do it? I suppose I was afraid. Scared, of such a huge responsibility. I wanted her to have an amazing life and I know that I couldn't have given her that at the age I was. God, I hope she doesn't have a kid.
I'm not expecting her to love me, or forgive me, or even thank me. I'm expecting her to question everything, ask why, maybe hate me even. I thought that I made the right decision – I didn't want to be to her what my mother was to me – none existent – yet I guess that is what I have ultimately become. I am a none existent mother to a girl who is now of age to become a mother herself.
Only time will tell. She's coming today. I need to be ready.
-X-X-X-X-
Megan's POV
I wonder if she has told her husband about me. Probably not... How could you explain this? That's her problem to solve though.
I come out of the shower and quickly pull on my bathrobe, comb my hair, and walk out of the bathroom. I'm so preoccupied with my own questioning thoughts to realise that Jamie is behind me coughing up a storm.
"Oh my God! Are you okay Jamie?" I ask, quickly turning around, rubbing his back gently to try and stop his coughing.
"Yeah I'm fine," he says, detaching himself from me. "You like hot showers then? That fucking steam almost made me die!"
I look at him, embarrassed at the fact that I almost killed off my cousin (which he still doesn't know that I am) and laugh at his faded red face. Jamie shakes his head at me and mutters something about girls to which I don't respond – I'm more focused on what I should wear. He starts talking to me about how he and Morgan are going out on this massive day trip to Los Angeles, where he plans on spoiling her rotten, but I don't really care much. He could do whatever he wanted with that slag just as long as he didn't get me involved in all of his drama. My main focus is to not end up in a love triangle like my mother – even though being in love with Jamie would be THE most immorally wrong thing in the whole history.
After talking to him for a while, and giving him suggestions of what to do while out at this massive romantic day out with Morgan, I finally go back into 'my bedroom' and continue to search for what I want to wear. I need to impress her. I don't want her to feel ashamed of me – not the sixteen year old girl that she envisioned me to be.
I was going to call Bex and ask for help about suggestions to wear but then I realised that her and my style are both polar opposites so she wouldn't be much help. Looking at my clothes, I don't have much diversity. Mostly I just decide to wear skinny jeans and vest tops. I need to go shopping quickly. Just to buy anything... a dress or something... something that will make me stand out to her.
So, I pull on my usual clothes and start drying my hair. I opt for my hair to be flowing, not straightened, I do have some wave to my hair and I like to show it once in a while. I decide to not wear any makeup – just for now – so that I know what kind of makeup I want on my face once I have bought my outfit. Once I'm dressed, I grab my jacket from the banister shout, "Hales, I'm going out for a bit, I'll be back soon," and before she can respond, I leave the house and search for my outfit for today.
-X-X-X-X-
Brooke's POV
I have to tell him. I should have told him sooner. It would have been a lot easier that way. In fact, I need to tell both of them. This isn't fair for them. This isn't fair on anyone anymore. Now is the time to reveal all, but I just have to go one step at a time...
I walk into the kitchen and sit on the edge of the counter. Today Julian has took the boys out for a father and son (or sons) bonding session like he does every Saturday. He's teaching them to play baseball, with the help of Nathan of course; Julian has never been the 'sporty' kind of guy. Lucas was though...
I pick up my phone and flip through my contacts until I see his name on my screen, flashing there with big bold letters. Lucas, my first real love, my first real everything, the first guy to love me properly, and the first guy to truly break my heart. But, he's also the first guy that I had a child with, and he still doesn't know. I need to tell him now. I have to. Clicking on the call button I wish I could take everything back, just have a couple more days of the secrecy. How do you tell someone who was once your everything, that you had a child with them and that they haven't even seen them or heard of their name for over sixteen years? I don't even know. But I'm going to have to try my hardest, as his deep husky voice says;
"Hey Brooke, why are you calling my cell, couldn't you get in touch with Peyton."
I'm silent for a moment. My heart is racing at a million beats. I can't cope with this. Lucas deserves to know, hell so does Peyton! Sawyer is her half sister after all. And, however much this entire situation hurts me, Peyton doesn't deserve all the hate that everyone gives her. You can't help who you love. I guess I can't help who Lucas loves either. I just wish it was me. I wish we were the family that I always dream of being with him.
Now, I gather up the courage to tell him. Tell him every little detail and don't miss out anything. "No Lucas, I need to talk to you about something really urgent." He mumbles and starts flipping through papers. Apparently he's been struggling for ideas to write his third novel on. Maybe this revelation will help him.
"Okay Brooke. Tell me, are you okay? Do you want me and Peyton to come visit? I'm sure sawyer would love to see her Aunt Brooke again. She always –"
"Lucas! Can you just let me tell you please," I didn't mean to shout at him. He's done nothing wrong. But I'm panicking. He needs to know. All different thoughts are running through my brain. So much stress, so much self-hatred, so much sadness; I can't help but then blurt out that – "We, me and you Lucas, have a child together."
I hear sheets of paper fall to the ground. He's in shock. A perfectly natural reaction. I'm trying to think about how he feels right now, if he thinks that this is a joke. But if anyone knows me well enough, and Lucas Scott does, then they know that I was being completely serious in what I had just told him. That was the reason why the next sentence that Lucas – my forever Broody – asked me was; "Why didn't you tell me?"
I could have told him a lie. I could have told him that it was because I didn't truly know who the father was. I could have told him that after him and I broke up, I went to the nearest fairly attractive guy that I could find and fucked his brains out so hard, that the guy was the only possibility of being the child's father. I could have told him all of this, but I chose not to. I chose to tell him the whole truth. He deserves it. He needed to know after all. I told him that I was a heartbroken, pathetic mess of a sixteen/seventeen year old girl who was pregnant with a child that she didn't even know if she wanted to keep. I told him that I couldn't go through with the abortion that my mother had booked me in because I couldn't ruin the life that we had created. I couldn't ruin perfection. I told him that I didn't know how to tell him after we ended on such horrible terms. I told him that I didn't feel good enough, that I felt that if I were to tell him, he would abandon me and our baby just like how my parents abandoned me as a child and left me in the care of a nanny. I told him every single possible reason why. And all the while he was silent, listening to me and my reasoning. If I could count on Lucas Scott for anything, then I could count on him for understanding me.
"But... But it's been over sixteen years! How could you keep the fact that I have a daughter, with YOU, away from me?" His anger overwhelms me. I've never heard, or even seen him angry before. It shocks me but I don't know why because I knew that he would be angry. You can't keep things like this a secret, sooner or later everyone finds out. "Did you tell anyone or did you keep it a secret from everyone else too?"
I tell him that I told Haley. It probably wasn't the best move that I could have made because he counters this by asking then why Haley knew and he didn't. Haley had been keeping this as a secret from him too – Lucas is her best friend, have I destroyed their friendship in the process?
There's a lot of shouting. And screaming. And crying too. All of Lucas' emotions play out over the phone to me and all I can do is listen and realise what an actual fucking monster I am. I kept Lucas' first child as a secret. I kept him from seeing his first baby. But it wasn't like I saw her. I don't know her. In effect, I've kept her from me too. We were too young. Everyone was too young. I'm a monster, a fucking sadistic monster. I hate myself for the decisions that I've made, I just hope she doesn't hate me too – like the way that Lucas does now.
He's talking all kinds of different things, saying whatever springs to mind. I'm not listening much, it's more of his own thoughts talking to him; but then he asks a question. He says, "Tell me, why do I still love you Brooke?"
I don't know whether he was addressing me or his own brain. Either way I didn't answer. I put the question down to shock and ignore it. He can't love someone, he can't love me, he's married to Peyton – the girl who has done absolutely nothing wrong in this situation – and yet, I'm married, to a wonderful, amazing man, and I still don't love him as much as I love Lucas. But I'm a monster; nobody should love me.
So, after listening to more questions and anger from Lucas, he finally puts the phone down. I don't feel relief, I feel even worse. If this is how the whole situation has gone down with my baby daddy, then I can't really see any hope of love or reconciliation from my one and only daughter. If anything, even more panic has entered my head. Great.
-X-X-X-X-
Megan's POV
I scratched the idea of wearing a dress. I think that it's too formal. Not really me. I only like wearing dresses if I'm going out. I need to be myself. I don't want to give her a false representation of me. I don't want to be someone that I'm not.
So, after many hours of deliberation I have finally decided to go with...*drum roll please*... Black ripped skinny jeans, and a white crop top! Oh, not forgetting my black denim jacket. I keep my hair the way I styled it before I left and crack on with the makeup for my face. I don't want to look too overdone, but I don't want to look like I haven't made an effort either.
My makeup is done. My face looks quite natural, although I have put more around my eyes to make them stand out more. They're even bluer today so I thought that I should show them off. I slip on my ankle boots and grab my car keys. It feels even more real know. I'm going to get in my car – which Nathan and Haley so kindly bought for me as a belated birthday present – and drive to my mother's house. Okay, this is really weird. I've seen my mother before on magazines, TV, hell, even posters that Amy had on her walls back at my old place; but I've never actually seen her before in real life... as my mother. It is really happening. I've dreamt about this moment for so long. I don't know whether it is going to go incredibly right, or incredibly wrong. I guess I'll find out real soon.
I leave the Naley residence, get in my car, and turn on the engine. This is going to be one hell of a journey. I'm not quite sure if I'm ready to take it.
-X-X-X-X-
Cliffhanger! Okay so next part will be up very soon! Keep these reviews coming you guys. Love you lot x ImJustLoafly xo