AN: Tada! Here is another chapter! Let me know if I make any major spelling/grammar mistakes.
Artemis Fowl was bored.
He was being forced to sit at the staff table in Hogwarts and while he was seated next to Filius who was a decent conversationalist, he also had the misfortune to be seated next to the highly unpleasant Potions Master he had met earlier that year. (Not that he would ever show anyone what he was feeling.)
Everyone at the table was waiting for the students to arrive, so that the new children could be sorted into categories that would limit and define them, and the older students could begin to stuff their faces.
He wasn't looking forward to this aspect of his new position.
Currently he was busy listening in on the few conversations happening near him, when his almost meditative state was interrupted by a question being directed at him from a woman he immediately identified as Professor Sprout.
"Well hello dear, and how are you liking Hogwarts so far? Don't you just love the ceiling?" She gushes enthusiastically.
She barely gives him any time to reply with a startled, "Hogvarts is a very nice place so var..." When she immediately interrupts him with a enthusiastic, "Its so interesting when someone gets an apprentice around here, why the last time I had one myself was probably 10 years ago! Although since then the only student that has come close to being truly gifted with plants is Longbottom. I'm considering taking him on for a year or two after he graduates. Oh, but you wouldn't know him, silly me!" She then laughs heartily in a most grating manner.
Lovely... I have been here all of a day and already cannot stand half the teachers. This place's library had better be worth it... He thinks to himself in irritation.
Thankfully she was interrupted by Professor Snape. A brief argument about Longbottom's skill, or lack thereof, ensued.
Luckily, before Artemis could be plagued by any more unwanted attention, the students arrive.
A virtual flood of teenagers pouring in through the main doors attracts all the attention of the teaching staff, as they come in chatting and yelling, teasing and joking each other about how their summers went. Snippets of conversation float up to the main table, mostly talk about Quiddich, sunburns and annoying siblings.
After a very long 15 min of students coming in, seating themselves, staring up at the staff table to inspect any new staff and staring at Artemis in open curiosity. Artemis is feeling very hungry, and very annoyed.
You would think they have never seen a teenager before... He thinks sourly.
After a few more agonizing moments, the Headmaster stands up and nods to all the returning students. There is a immediate hush as they all finish up what they were saying and they begin to pay attention to Dumbledore.
*After one long sorting*
"Now, I'm sure you all have been quite curious about the new faces up here, I'm pleased to present to you Professor Grubbly-Plank who will be taking over Care of Magical Creatures, and the new Defence Against Dark Arts teacher, Professor Delorace Umbridge!"
Dumbledore pauses for a polite round of applause from the students and staff, and then continues.
"Also, I'm pleased to tell you all that Professor Flitwick has taken on an Apprentice. His name is Artemis Fowl and he's from Russia, so please give him a warm welcome!"
A slightly more enthusiastic round of applause greets this news, perhaps due to the fact that the last apprentice at Hogwarts had left 5 years ago. (It had been Professor Vector who had taken on a bright student. Only the oldest students could even remember it, and the apprentice had not been very memorable.)
"Now that that is done with, I think its time to eat!" He enthusiastically mentions. And with a large theatrical wave of his hands, Dumbledore signals the house elves to make the feast appear.
The students all dig in to the food, (Most of them with appalling table manners, Artemis notes.) and Artemis lets a small smile cross his face as he can finally eat.
After almost half an hour of excellent food and pleasant small talk with Filius, Artemis is feeling much more charitable towards the rest of the people at Hogwarts. Perhaps it wont be so bad as he first thought.
Of course his pleasant thoughts are then interrupted by his unfortunate neighbour.
"So how did the Polyjuice Potion turn out?" Snape asks in a bluntly transparent and clumsy attempt at starting a conversation.
It is probably best to get on his good side, I have a feeling he could be a dangerous enemy... Hmmmm... He's supposed to be fantastic with potions, perhaps he will be able to help me with a few of the questions I still have about the subject... Might as well take advantage of his presence, Artemis smirks mentally. I bet I can have him telling me all his potion secrets within a year.
"It came out vell. My test run of it proved quite curious, I vould never have suspected the crocodile tears vould have acted as a stabilizer to make the potion last longer. I know it is a purifier for many potions, but doesn't it have a destabilizing effect on the ground ibex's beak? I vould imagine the chameleon eyes vould only make the acidic reaction vorse. I'm quite surprised that there vas no cascading reaction. Vould you care to enlighten me as to vhy it had the effect it did?"
Now lets see if he bites...
"I didn't think you would be so knowledgeable in Potions, not with Professor Flitwick's poor skills in that particular subject." Snape mentions with a biting drawl. "Well if you truly are interested in learning more about the subject, you are probably out of luck with him as your Teacher."
Snape gestures to Flitwick with a insulting sneer, pauses, and then seems to remember why he started the conversation in the first place. "But I suppose I might have time later to go over the interesting properties of crocodile tears. Although if you plan on making the trip all the way to my Labs in the dungeons, you might want to make the trip only for something more worthwhile than simply a few questions."
He mentions in a more conciliatory tone.
(Snape then seems to give up trying to lead the conversation gently, and skips the smalltalk and dancing around the subject that is usually customary when trying to get information.)
"I must admit there is quite a lot of mystery surrounding your family. You Fowl's seem to be quite infamous in Russia right now, risking the anger of a powerful pureblood family simply for a large profit. Then there is the mystery of why on earth Flitwick would take you on as an apprentice when he has never personally taught you before. You also apparently caused quite a stir at Gringotts... One must wonder why the Goblins seem so interested in you..." Snape inquires almost menacingly as he raises one eyebrow at Artemis.
Hmmmmm, he's not a patient man is he? So that's what he's after... information. No doubt on behalf of one of his 'Friends' amongst the pureblood elite.
Well he is either very stupid and clumsy when it comes to offering something in exchange for information, or else he simply doesn't care if he is blunt about it. I wonder which one it is?
Well no matter. I suppose I could use his help with understanding the more intricate aspects of potion making, I haven't had much time to fully delve into the subject matter after all. (Not to mention it is necessary to get the misinformation out along as many channels as possible.)
I suppose I will simply have to play a role of a eager and brilliant student, with a fascination for potions. No doubt he will soon get over his mistrust of my skills, and be glad for a capable student. (No doubt the ones he gets in this school are mostly inbred to the point of stupidity, and the rest likely cannot stand him.)
At least it will be a welcome challenge of my acting skills...
"Vell sir, its quite a long story actually, and mostly to due to my ancestors. To make a long story short, a long time ago one of them helped out a few of goblins. The goblins revarded them vith some better deals than most humans got. This continued until my family vas recognized as almost a goblin family. It is a long standing relationship of mutual almost trust.
Goblins have been using my family to help themselves gain more gold for generations, and in return ve get the best deals around and make quite a tidy profit ourselves as well. It has been such a good arraignment that so far both sides have only rarely considered betraying each other." He mentions with a small smirk.
Artemis pauses to gauge Snape's reaction to the little tale he was spinning, unfortunately Snape's face is unreadable at the moment. He continues with, "So its nothing really to do with me sir, only that I vill be expected to take over once my father dies. I have never met the goblins here in England, so I suppose they might get a bit excited around me and because of potential profits in the future. As for Professor Flitvick, vhen he heard I vas looking for a suitable teacher to extend my education, he volunteered. It vas especially useful that he lived here in Europe, and not in Russia.
That is all the details I am able to share right now sir, unfortunately it seems like the Headmaster is about to make an announcement."
This was true. But Artemis had been getting bored of spreading his 'tall-tale' anyways. He needed to concentrate on his plans now that he was here at Hogwarts. So many avenues to explore, so little time.
That infamous library is going to have to be my first stop. I think after a good week of browsing I should be familiar with most books in there, and will likely have identified the areas I will need to focus on.
Alchemy obviously, since the Headmaster himself had been involved in creating the last Philosophers stone. Although he will likely have removed any books that are key to the process of manufacturing it, he has to leave the reference guides and general mentions alone.
Next of course is the subject of immortality. Methods attempted in the past by noteworthy people, things that are banned and illegal, every mention of the subject will have to be hunted down.
Lastly, there will have to be a in-depth search of pureblood family lines. Especially the ones with parseltounge as a family gift. But while I'm at it, I might as well cross reference all the local purebloods and make a list of those who support Voldermort, and those who are Neutral. I doubt there will be many who directly oppose his aims, but there is likely to be a few.
Hmmm... Might as well see how many of the Dark Lords supporters have attended this school. Might be a link to something useful.
Next item on the list, obviously is to get on the good side of those who may be useful or dangerous. Snape has a link to the Death Eaters, he used to be one himself according to Fillius's information, he will be the prime target.
Next target will be that disgusting Umbridge woman. She is obviously a tool for the laughable 'government' running this country and could easily interfere. Why right now she is even making a speech to the rest of the school stating that fact in a very long-winded and flowery manner. I might be able to use her later, but at the very least I must make sure she wont interfere with anything I plan on doing.
There's something about Potter... He is important somehow. I shall have to keep an eye on him. Gaining his trust would be useful, but I cannot see that happening anytime soon. I'll be sure to bug him in case he knows anything useful and shares it aloud with one of his friends.
Ah, finally the speeches have ceased...
Artemis claps politely with everyone else, and rises up to follow Flitwick back to his new quarters. Artemis had already memorized a basic layout of the sections of the castle that didn't change, and he already knew what Flitwick's password was going to be, (Fibonacci Numbers) but it was best to pretend not to know the layout of a place he has never been to before. (Not to mention that there still was the matter of the few parts that did change constantly, it would take him a while to get the pattern of those memorized.)
One thing Artemis knew for sure, was that this was going to be a long and tiresome year.
AN: Oooooh, the ploting has started! I gave you a bit of insight of what Artemis's goals are, and some of his plans. Not many of them have much to do with what he is supposed to be there for, but what do you expect from Artemis? Of course hes gonna be multi-tasking and have a few side projects. ^^
Next one will have much less introspection, and have a few of the interesting events that are going to be happening throughout the year. It'll take a while to do that chapter I expect, but I'll eventually get it done, don't you worry.