Quick update! I updated quick because you're all fucking awesome for reaching 200 reviews. :)
Don't own Naruto.
Alexa's POV
I watched with amusement as Sasori and Deidara started their argument on art, right on que.
"Deidara, those pyrotechnics of yours are not art. Art is true beauty, being captured and left for posterity. Art. Is eternal."Sasori explained. Deidara scoffed."Eternal beauty, are you kidding, hm? Now, as a fellow artist, I respect your view of art, Danna. But true art is fleeting. A flash of beauty, burning brightly before finally disappearing in a heartbeat. An explosion, un."
"Brat, there seems to be someone here who doesn't understand true art."
"Yes Danna, and that someone is you, un." Sasori growled."Real art is shown through eternal beauty, meant to last forever." I raised my hand."I absolutely agree with Danna."I stated proudly."Don't be absurd.. True art only lasts a moment, un."Deidara sighed. Keira crossed her arms."Yeah, 'Lexa, no need to agree with Sasori just because you love him."She stated."Excuse me? Only because I love him? Please, Danna's view on art is so more..perfect. When you look at art, you'll want to preserve it if it's worth the beauty. Deidara's view, yes sometimes it entertaining to see, but since it only lasts a moment, you'll only have that one moment to enjoy it's beauty. That. Is why I agree with Danna."I explained.
"See, Brats? Try acting intelligent like Alexa for once."Sasori stated. Deidara rolled his eyes."Intelligent my ass, yeah.." I heard Deidara mutter."Don't make me angry, Brat. I shouldn't have to reminf you what happens when I get angry."Sasori warned. Keira smirked."Let's see.. You throw a huge ass bitch fit, and to make yourself feel better, you sing that song 'No Strings Attatched'. Right, Pinocchio?"She asked cockily. Sasori growled."Deidara, care to explain your 'art' again?"Sasori snarled. Deidara chuckled, standing from Gaara's dead body."Art is only one thing, Danna, un."He stated, reaching in his clay pouch. He created a small butterfly, performing a hand sign and bringing it to life. It flew into the air before it exploded.
"The explosion itself, un."
Keira blew a raspberry at us, throwing her arms around Deidara."It's much more beautiful than your disgusting puppets, hm."Deidara laughed. We heard a growl of annoyance, and Sasori then lazily shielded a kunai with his tail.
We all then remembered Sakura's, Naruto's, Kakashi's, and Chiyo's existance.
"Alright, we can argue all we want when we go home. We have visitors, remember?"Keira stated, gesturing towards Team 7 and Chiyo. We turned towards them."What was all that?"Sakura wondered. I rolled my eyes."We were arguing. Was that too difficult to notice?"I asked. She narrowed her eyes at me, causing me to shrug. Deidara created a clay bird, enlarging it. It ate Gaara before Keira and Deidara jumped on it."Brats, don't go far. Stay near the area or the summoning will be interfered. Got it?"Sasori told them. They nodded. The bird took off, luring Naruto from the cave and Kakashi chasing after him.
Starting our little adventure.
"Alexa, move back, and text Dawn or Crysta. We need to know how long until Hidan and Kakuzu can successfully do the summoning."Sasori whispered to me. I nodded, backing away so I wouldn't get in the way. I then pulled out my phone. I texted Crysta.
Alright, we're about to engage Pink-bitch and Chiyo. How long do we have to wait for the summoning to be prepared?
Her reply came probably about thirty seconds after I sent it.
Kuzu and Nii-san say about fifteen to twenty minutes. Dawn'll text you when it's time. Oh, and I like your nickname for Pinky. Pink-bitch..yeah, I'll be using that.
"Danna, fifteen to twenty minutes. I'll let you know when we have to get ready."I informed him."Alright."He stated, starting the stare down with Chiyo."I heard you retired a long time ago."Sasori stated. Chiyo smiled."Well, is it wrong I wanted to see my grandson again? It has been a while."Chiyo stated sweetly."I heard that you also found yourself some friends..and a love interest."She continued, looking at me. I blushed, smiling. Sakura gulped loudly.
That's right, Pinky, you should be afraid. You should've had your ass handed to you a long time ago.
"Do not worry, Sakura. I'm here with you, just step back."Chiyo stated, stepping forward. Chiyo then pulled out the kunai connected by a chakra string.
Sasori shielded it easily."Danna?"I asked."Don't worry Alexa."He assured, ripping the cloth covering Hiruko's body."So, Granny, would you and that brat like to be a part of my collection?" Sakura gasped."What is that thing?"She asked in disbelief."That is not Sasori's real body you're looking at, Sakura."Chiyo told her."What is it then?"Sakura asked. Chiyo looked at Sasori again."It's merely a puppet."
"No, it's a large, wooden figure being controlled by chakra strings."I stated sarcastically. Sasori sighed. I could tell he was smirking, though."But..if that's just a puppet, then where's his real body?"Sakura continued."Gee, I wonder.."I stated."His real body is inside that one."Chiyo stated. I looked at Sasori."Danna, do you also realize how dirty that sounds, or is it just me?"I wondered."Yes, Alexa, I know."Sasori stated, sounding both annoyed, but entertained.
"Inside the puppet?"Sakura asked, shocked. Chiyo nodded."Yes. You see, puppet users aren't good at close combat. And controlling a puppet out in the open was a weakness. So to overcome this weakness, Sasori created this puppet."
"His specialty, Hiruko."I stated in unison with Chiyo."Lady Chiyo, you seem to know a lot about this."Sakura said. Chiyo dipped her head."In fact, I know everything about that puppet of his."
"Yes, but do you know how I prepare specimans for my collection?"Sasori asked. I shuddered. I did love Sasori, I really did, but I just found the procedure disgusting. Plus I have a weak stomache, so it's hard for me to see/listen to that kind of stuff."First I drain the blood from the body." Oh jeez.."Then I remove the organs, washing the insides and out so it's clean. After that's done, I preserve the body, preventing decay. The final step is to fill the whole body with hidden weapons." All these images started appearing in my head of the whole procedure, the blood everywhere, taking out the organs..I couldn't take it.
I threw up.
"Alexa, are you alright?"Sasori asked. I nodded."Sorry, I kinda have a weak stomache.. The whole procedure of creating a puppet just got to me.."I told him."I'm sorry, Alexa. I'll have to remember you have a weak stomache next time."He stated. I nodded."But really, it's alright Danna."I assured. I just couldn't wait until we got home. I just wanted to curl up to Sasori's chest after those disgusting thoughts."I apologize for the interuption, you may continue."I stated. I was recieving odd/possibly concerned stares.
"Well, as stated earlier, this puppet is Hiruko."Sasori continued, still sounding concerned from when I threw up."It's only one of the hundreds of puppets in my collection. After you two become a part of my collection, I will exactly three hundred puppets." I smiled."This is my art." I quickly went over and glomped Hiruko. I couldn't resist."So, what this girl is hugging you call art?"Chiyo stated, slightly amused at my glomp. I quickly moved back again when Sasori sighed.
"His art? What do you mean?"Sakura asked."When we were still in Suna, he was declared a master craftsman, always being admired for his countless extraordinary puppets."Chiyo explained."But his true passion..was making puppets from the living and adding them to his collection." And of course, Pinky gasped.. As freaking expected.."And he calls these monstrous acts art."Chiyo finished."Hiruko was actually a shinobi from a nearby village. And Sasori turned him into that. A human puppet."
"A human puppet?"Sakura repeated. I rolled my eyes."That's the only thing I've seen her be good at. Gawking like a moron at the fights before her, and repeating shocking statements."I muttered under my breath. I heard Sasori chuckle."And the same fate awaits you two. You'll soon just be another part of my collection."Sasori stated, flicking his tail. I backed up some more.
After Hiruko's jaw fell, the senbon needles shot at Pinky and Chiyo. I rolled my eyes as they dodged. Seriously, when I was first watching the episode of the fight, I instantly knew there was no way Sakura was dodging the needles on her own. I knew there was something off. When the needles stopped shooting, Sasori scoffed."Don't be too sure of yourselves." As Sakura ran over, planning to crush Hiruko, Sasori did the unexpected.
His tail launched out, wrapping itself around Sakura tightly.
"No..this..this is impossible!"Chiyo demanded. Sasori chuckled."I knew your trick from the start, Granny. I knew you were going to attach chakra strings from those kunai earlier, so I prevented them from doing so. I knew every one of your moves weeks before this day. And everything was planned out."He stated."H-how..?"Sakura gasped out, probably struggling to breath from Hiruko's tail from squeezing her so tightly."Alexa, Keira, and six others. They informed every single move of this day. If we wanted, we would have that Kyuubi in our grasp already. I would've killed you both if you weren't required to live."
"Why would you need us alive for? What is your reason?"Chiyo demanded."That is none of yo' business!"I stated. Sasori chuckled."But since you came out all this way just to see my face, I'll show myself."He stated, the back of Hiruko lifting up. I squeeled as he stepped out. I ran over and hugged him. I missed his face so much. I nuzzled his shoulder, feeling him wrap an arm around my waist."Impossible! Your face is the same, you haven't aged at all!"Chiyo stated, shocked.
"I know, isn't he the sexiest thing you've ever seen?"I asked. Sasori sighed, rolling his eyes, but smirking a bit."So, Granny, are you so stocked up full of emotion you can't speak?"Sasori asked. Man, I really missed his voice.. Stupid Hiruko, ruining his sexy voice.."Alexa, get back."Sasori muttered to me. I pouted, but listened."Since you're here, I'll show you something very special to me."He stated, pulling a scroll from his sleeve. I heard him mutter 'Other than Alexa' under his voice. I giggled as the scroll slid open, a huge poof being heard after it glowed as well."This is my favorite puppet."
"It can't be, it's impossible!"Chiyo said. Jeez, is everything impossible to her?"The Third Kazekage.. Sasori it was you?"Chiyo demanded."And if it was?"Sasori wondered. He didn't even bother going into a stance as Sakura was still trapped with Hiruko's tail. He was only showing off his Kazekage puppet to look badass. Which, he was."That girl is still trapped within Hiruko's tail, and you can't even touch me."Sasori stated. Chiyo narrowed her eyes."I can't believe my own grandson would stoop so low.. Turning on his own village to join the Akatsuki, meddling with the Kazekage for a third time!"
"Hey, Sasori had nothing to do with Gaara's father! It was that slithery bastard, Oro-pedo!"I barked, pointing at Chiyo demandingly. My anger was paused at I felt a vibration in my pocket. I checked, seeing a text from Dawn.
Hey, we're almost ready over here. Contact Blondie and Keira, and let them know to get off the damn bird. Send me a text when you're all ready.
"Danna, Hidan and Kakuzu are ready."I told him. He nodded as I sent a text to Keira.
Keira, warn Deidara to get ready. Get out of the air, Hidan and Kakuzu are ready. Text me back when you're on the ground.
I looked up, seeing a struggling Sakura as she tried getting out of Hiruko's tail."Danna, when you shoot out the toxic gas, put Hiruko and the Kazekage puppets in their scrolls so Hidan and Kakuzu don't waste more of their chakra."I whispered to him. He nodded."I know, Alexa." I just remembered something."Danna, release Sakura."I stated. He raised a brow."Why?"
"Just do it, I need to do something, and it's really important!"I insisted. Sasori raised his hand, moving some fingers, resulting in Sakura dropping to the ground. I ran over to Sakura."Sakura, listen, take this. It's from Autumn."I told her, handing her a scrap of paper."What is it?"She said suspiciously."Look, it's from Autumn. And don't read it until you get back to Konoha. Just believe me."I assured. She took the paper, and I felt another vibration in my pocket.
Alright, hurry up, we're on the ground.
I ran back over to Sasori, him wrapping an arm around my waist. I texted Dawn.
Alright, we're ready Dawn. Hurry and get Hidan and Kakuzu to do the jutsu!
"Alright, Alexa, close your eyes, hold your breath."Sasori stated. I hid my face in his cloak as the poisonous gas filled the air. I heard two poofs, knowing it was Hiruko and the Kazekage getting sealed in their scrolls. I heard him mutter a jutsu I didn't hear entirely, and I was knocked out.
Third Person POV
Hidan let out a sigh as Sasori, Deidara, Keira, and Alexa were now before them. Alexa had passed out from the pressure of getting summoned. Crysta practically glomped Keira."You lucky little bitch, you!"She laughed. Keira sighed, smirking a bit and pushing Crysta off her."You know, Crysta even told us beforehand, 'I'm gonna glomp the shit out of Keira, telling her how much of a lucky bitch she is'."Dawn stated. Keira snickered."I assume the clones were succesfully replaced?"Sasori asked. Kakuzu nodded."Your puppet will make them believe they killed you. Deidara's clay clone, however, is going to wear out eventually, meaning they'll know he's still out here."He explained.
Deidara shrugged."Hey, at least we cheated death, hm."The blonde stated. Crysta stood up dramatically, pointing at the slowly darkening sky."Suck on that, Kishimoto! We just falcon punched your timeline in the face!"She yelled to the sky. Kakuzu chuckled.
Somewhere in Japan back on Earth, a certain owner of Naruto/Naruto Shippuden sneezed.
"Well, I'm about to be right behind Alexa and pass out myself."Keira stated, sitting on Deidara's lap."Feel free, bomber bitch, I'm fucking exhausted from that damn summoning too.."Hidan stated, folding his arms behind his head and relaxing on the ground. Dawn layed down as well, nuzzling up to her future-husband."Get some sleep, Brats. Kakuzu and I are keeping watch."Sasori told Keira and Deidara."Don't need to tell us twice, hm."Deidara stated, him and Keira already started to doze off.
Crysta crossed her arms."I refuse to sleep, as for I am not tired."She stated."Besides, I can help kick some ass if someone tries sneaking up on us." Kakuzu raised a brow."No chakra."
"Fun sucker.." He chuckled."Just try to relax at least. We don't need you tired the whole time when we leave for the base tomorrow."Kakuzu told her. Crysta sighed."Stop being right all the time."She stated, sitting on his lap. She looked up at him."You said relax, so I am in my most comforting place."
"I never questioned you, now did I?"
"Touchè, Kuzu." Soon enough, the last girl fell asleep as well.
Meanwhile, in Konoha..
Sakura sighed as she walked through the hall of the Konoha hospital with Naruto, as they were going to visit Kakashi. Sakura pulled out the slip of paper she recieved from Alexa earlier."Sakura, what's that?"Naruto asked, noticing the paper."I got this from that one girl that was with the two Akatsuki members. She says it's from Autumn."Sakura explained."Autumn?"Naruto asked, starting to get excited. Sakura unfolded the sheet of paper, another one also taped there, but had 'FOR KAKASHI/TSUNADE/JIRAIYA' written on it in bold, black letters. She placed the second paper in her pocket, and started reading the first one.
Well hi there Sakura, Naruto, and/or Kakashi.
In case you don't know, Autumn wrote this. It must've been shocking for yous to learn me, Dawn, and Crysta are with the Akatsuki.. Anyways, I know that you've been after Orochimaru for some time.. Well, do I have news for you!
In exactly ten days from when you fought Sasori and Deidara, go to the Tenchi Bridge. When that day comes, go straight to the bridge, and there will be a subordinate of Sasori, waiting to rendezvous with said puppet. The subordinate is supposed to be a spy for Orochimaru. If you listen, and go to the bridge at the time given, you'll have your chance to get Sasuke. But do not, I repeat, DO NOT let the subordinate know Sasori was killed until after you've captured him.
Why did I tell you this? Well, a girl named Aeryonna, the girl in love with Duck-butt's older brother, wouldn't stop bitching unless either of us wrote this. And I wrote it since the whole letter would've been just her bitching about Sasuke if she was the one to write it.. She loves Itachi, so she also loves Sasuke.. Don't ask me.
Just please believe this shit. Of yeah, and Kakashi won't be going with you, because he'll be out of commission or some shit like that. Enjoy your back-up sensei. Plus, make sure Kakashi erads this, too.
So yeah.. Later bitches.
~Autumn
Sakura's eyes widened."Naruto, read this!"She exclaimed, forcing the paper in the blonde's hand. After reading it himself, he gasped."YES! WE HAVE OUR CHANCE TO GET SASUKE! THANK YOU AUTUMN!"Naruto yelled to the ceiling. The two ran as fast as they could down the hall, eventually reaching Kakashi's room."Kakashi-sensei, read this!"Naruto exclaimed, practically shoving it in their sensei's face. He took the paper from his hands, reading it. He chuckled.
"There's also another note adressed for only you, Tsunade-sama, or Jiraiya."Sakura added, handing Kakashi the extra note.
'Sup Kakashi/Jiraiya/Tsunade? This is Crysta, the crazy bitch master of the Akatsuki. And I have continued from Autumn's little note!
Before I say anything, don't be a dumbass and make sure Naruto and Sakura DON'T read this. 'Kay? 'Kay.
Why they can't read this is 'cause it's about the Kyuubi bitch. Naruto. (Plus I don't need him hating me for calling him Kyuubi bitch..)
Anyways, since you won't be there with them at Tenchi Bridge, Sai and an ANBU, who's name I forget, will be going with them. The ANBU can use the first Hokage's jutsu, the wood style or whatever. He's a crucial part of the team when they go to Tenchi Bridge. Because Naruto is gonna throw a bitch fit, and the Kyuubi's cloak is gonna appear, no lie. As long as everyone's careful, no one'll get hurt except some scratches 'n shit like that.
MAKE SURE YOU IMITATE SASORI! THE SUBORDINATE IS EXPECTING HIM! So yeah..there's no talking Naruto out of this, you know how he is with his emo little bastard of a teammate.. Sorry, he just can annoy me sometimes..
Well, my bitches, I got nothin' else to say, and I gotta go. See ya'!
P.S. I have officially declared you and the others from Konoha my bitches. Like how the Akatsuki are my bitches already.
P.S.S. Do me a favor and tell Naruto about my hatred for the color orange.
P.S.S.S. Do me another favor and tell Gaara I said hi. (Cause I know the redhead is alive!) Please?
P.S.S.S.S. Stop reading this note now.
Kakashi chuckled."She's quite the strange one."He muttered to himself. He smirked as he watched Naruto act excited over their chance of getting Sasuke.
Back where the four Akatsuki members and their girlfriends lay, Crysta smiled in her sleep. Kakuzu noticed this, smirking a bit himself, and petting the girl's hair."Wonder what she could be dreaming about."Sasori stated, also noticing the girl's smile. Kakuzu shrugged."Knowing her, it could be anything."He stated.
Long as fuck chapter, I know.
Answer:What is there not to love? He's a schizophrenic, cannibalistic, venus flytrap. Zetsu would be like one of my best friends out of the Akatsuki.
QftC:Favorite thing about Tobi. NOT Madara! If you don't like Tobi (I will get him sugar high and lock you in a closet with him), tell me why.
I love you all. (Not in a creepy way, of course.) Why? You all like this story so much. When I first started Akatsukittens, I would've never expected it to become so popular. When it was over, I never expected to get so many reviews begging for a sequel. You'll all be really excited when I Miss My Evil Kitties is over. Which might take a while. Anyways, I love your reviews. Even if you're just answering the pointless little questions!