A/N: Hey I know it's been a very long time since my last update and I want to apologize so much writer block and school have been kicking my ass. I also want to thank-you for sticking with this story even though it's barely gets update, hopefully I'll be able to change that now that I have a little idea on what to write but feel free to suggest ideas or anything; thank-you all so, so very much! ~KJ99

It had been a week since my parent's funeral, I hadn't been able to go to Jenna's Dad funeral and when I saw her at school the one day I went to collect my stuff to study at home; I apologised and she said it was totally fine. I was sitting in the kitchen at the Marin house trying to study for my Science exam that was coming up but I just kept thinking about my Dad and how he would always help me with Science when he'd came home, Science had been forgotten and tears had appeared. Hearing the front door scared me and forced me into a panic, I start to wipe away my tears away super-fast but more just kept falling.

I then heard Hanna's voice shout out "Emily! You home!" of course Hanna had to skip today. She soon enters the kitchen, she looks like she went to say something but when I raise my head it all disappears and I watch as concern fills her.

I say "I'm not okay," a sob comes out at the end and Hanna rushes over to me and hugs me.

"It's okay Emily, I've got you, just let it go," Hanna said as I wrapped my arms around her and hold onto her tightly. I sat crying into Hanna's abdomen area, while she just held me tightly against her and allowed me just to cry. When I run out of tears, I moved back from Hanna which she allowed me to do before crouching down in front me and helping me wipe the dried tears away.

Hanna said "You've been so brave through all this Emily, but you don't have to be brave, you don't have to be a solider all the time, especially not around me, Mum, your grandparents, Ali, Aria, Spence and anyone else in our lives; you don't have to be."

"I thought if I'd convinced you that I was okay, I would be."

"That's never going to work Em, you have to go through the grieving stages and not fight against it. You don't have to build these ten foot walls around you all the time, if you do at least create a door, a letter or a window for us to get through; just let us in Emily we are good people and we love you." I smiled at Hanna, just the way her mind is and the things she say, the way she said things and just who she is as a person.

"I love you Hanna," I wrapped my arms around her neck and pulled her in for a hug.

"I love you too Emily," I smiled into the hug.

Hanna said into my shoulder "And no matter what, day, night or whenever I will always be there for you no matter." I tucked my face into Hanna's shoulder and just took a deep inhale to calm myself down again before I start to cry again.

I asked pulling back from the hug "Can we go watch TV?"

Hanna replied with "Of course, come on," she stood back up, held out her hand for me to take which I did and she pulled me up from the chair and dragged me into the lounge room to watch some TV. We were in the lounge room watching Happy Days reruns; I had my legs laying across Hanna who was playing around with a piece of thread on them. I was watching the TV but I could feel eyes watching me turning to look at Hanna to find it was her watching me with this questioning look.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Come on, Hanna I wasn't born yesterday."

"Are you okay?"

"Honestly no."

"Is there anything I can do?"

"This is helping more than you think it is."

"Really?"

"Yeah but do know what would help me more?"

"What?"

"Going for a run."

"You want me to run," I burst out laughing at the look on Hanna's face. Just the complete horror on her face was hilarious and amusing to me.

I then say after my laughter dies down "I'm kidding Hanna; I'll go running with Spencer when she finishes school."

Hanna replied with "I would run if you really wanted me to."

I said "As funny as that'll be, I can wait for Spencer to finish school."

"You could text her, I'm sure she'll ditch school for you to go running."

"No, it's okay. I don't want anyone schooling to full behind, mine is bad enough."

"How badly behind are you?"

"I don't know, I try to do some science earlier but then I thought about how my Dad use to help me and well that didn't turn out so well."

"It's okay to cry Emily."

"I know, it's just I hate that I'm getting emotional over something as trivial as Science."

"It's not trivial. I remember how excited you would get when your Dad would help you with a science question, you would have this big smile on your face and I miss that smile," I try to do the smile but by the look on Hanna's face it didn't resemble it at all.

Hanna said in a serious tone "Never do that again," I smiled at the serious factor in Hanna's voice.

Hanna then said "We'll help you study, maybe not me but I'm sure Aria, Ali and Spencer can all help you, maybe even Mona." At the mentioning of Mona, a big smile came up onto my face and Hanna gave me this look.

I asked "What?"

"I just didn't realise before now how crazy you are about her."

"Well I was seriously ready to ask her out before my whole world got turned upside down."

Hanna asked in shock "Really?"

"Yeah, we had only spent a weekend together and I was ready to take her out on dates and everything else romantic but now with all this. I just wanted to be ready, I don't want to be emotional and still grieving when dating her, it's not the best quality to have when starting a relationship."

"But what if you do let her in and you grow stronger together," groaning, I leant my head back on the couch's arm and rubbed my eyes.

I say while looking at the ceiling "If I feel it than I'll go for it but if I don't then I won't."

"That seems to make sense, just go with your heart Emily and if you feel like things are just going to fast or slipping away from you just talk to Mona about it."

"I just don't want to come off insecure."

"I'm not sure about others but I'd rather my boyfriend be insecure and talk to me about what's going on in his head than just powering through it all."

"Boyfriend, hey? Is there something you're not telling me."

Hanna slapped my knee and said "No, I was just explaining it."

Smiling I say "Rightyo," Hanna picked up a pillow and hit me on the help with it; which just caused me to laugh.

Hanna said "The main point I was trying to make is, I think Mona would rather you shared what's going on in your head than not talking at all because that way it helps her to know what's going on and what she can do to make it better."

I replied with "I get what you were saying Hanna."

Leaning forward I placed a small peck on Hanna's cheek and said "Thank-you, I don't know what I would have done if I didn't have you."

Hanna smiled and replied with "Of course Emily, you'll always have me no matter what." Moving my legs from laying on top of Hanna's, I swerve around so my head can be lying down on Hanna's shoulder and I feel her wrap her arm around me.

Hanna asked "Do you have a time frame on when you're planning to come back to school?"

I replied with "Depending on how I feel tomorrow maybe then."

"Are you sure you're ready?"

"I don't know, no harm in trying right?"

"That's true," after that we both went back to concentrating on the TV. I wasn't sure what was going to happen with me and school tomorrow but there's no harm in trying to go, I really do hope I'm ready to go back; I really wanted to see Mona. It had been a full week of not seeing Mona at all or talking to her and that was a really long time, I was really starting to miss her presents in my life.

Hanna and I had spent most of the afternoon lounging about on the couch watching mind numbing TV, I had convince Hanna to make me food but she ended up heating up some popcorn and we watched loads of movies until we heard the doorbell ring. Looking for the time, I saw it was half an hour since school let out, which told me it was probably the girls.

Hanna pauses the movie and yelled out "It's open!" Hanna and I were lying down on the couch together, Hanna was behind me and I was in front of her and she had her arms protectively around me, also holding me up so I didn't fall of the couch. The door opened and we saw Aria, Ali and Spencer all walk in.

Ali asked "Why couldn't one of you open the door?"

Hanna replied with "We're comfy," I nodded my head agreeing with Hanna.

Aria asked "What are you watching?"

I replied with "It's kind of a funny story," they all nodded but I don't think they knew the movie.

Looking at Spencer I saw she was in sort of running gear, smiling I say "Hey Spencer."

Ali said "Oh your about to be conned into something."

Spencer replied with "Yep, I know that tone of voice."

Smiling I say "Well she's the only one that would do it."

Spencer asked "What can I do for you Emily?"

I answered with "Do you want to go for a run with me?" I automatically see Aria and Ali turn away from looking at me but Spencer smiles which is a good sign.

Spencer said "Yeah of course, now I totally understand why you said these guys wouldn't which is true."

Nodding my head, I replied with "Yeah, I asked Hanna earlier and you should have seen her face," I automatically got slapped on the shoulder by Hanna while Spencer laughed.

I say "I'll just go get changed and we'll go yeah?"

Spencer replied with "Sounds good," standing up from the couch I tuck the blanket into Hanna before jumping over the couch and running up the stairs; taking them by two.

I hear Ali yell "Someone's keen!"

While Hanna yells "Go slowly Emily!"

Hanna's P.O.V

After yelling at Emily to go slowly, I made sure to check she wasn't in hearing range and when I found she wasn't; I lie back down and let out sigh.

Aria asked "Everything okay?"

I replied with "I came home to find her crying, so that would be a no."

Ali questioned "Crying? Emily? Are you sure?"

I answered with "Yes of course I'm sure, I don't think it's the first time either."

Spencer said "Well I think I'd be more worried if she wasn't crying or getting all that emotion out somehow."

I replied with "True but we need to make sure she knows it's okay to cry in front of people and to talk, I got a bit out of her today but not a whole lot."

Aria asked "Do you know what set it off?"

I responded with "She was doing Science; we all remember how excited she got when her Dad was able to help her complete one question."

Spencer said "Poor Em," we all nodded and looked up towards the stairs.

I then say without really thinking "I'm just glad she got some else to focus on."

Ali asked "What are you talking about?"

I replied with "Oh sorry, it's nothing I wasn't meant to say that out loud."

Spencer said "Spill it."

I say "I don't know if Emily wants you guys to know yet."

Aria replied with "If Emily wants to keep it a secret that's fine by us, we won't push it," I let out a sigh of relief; Aria was always the calming voice and the level headed one.

Ali said "Yeah, I'm just happy that Emily is talking to someone," Spencer nodded her head agreeing with Ali.

We then heard a voice say "I'm ready Hastings!" We all looked over to the stairs to see Emily standing there in running gear.

Spencer replied with "Let's go Fields," those two always call each other by their last names when there doing something sporty and it doesn't make sense to anyone else but them.

Emily said "I'm not sure when I'll be back Han, hopefully before your Mum finishes work."

I replied with "Take as long as you want Em," I smile at her and she smiles back at me before leaving out the front door with Spencer.

Ali asked "It's not just me that finds it strange when they call each other by their last names is it?"

Aria replied with "Nope, it's definitely not just you," I nod my head agreeing. I then play the movie though my mind is focused on Emily and Mona; whether they will actually get together or not, for Emily's sake I hoped so.

Emily's P.O.V

After we left Hanna's house and I guess mine to now, we stretch out the front before going into a slow jog around the block and when we were both warmed up, feeling fine that's when we took of sprinting to wherever our legs would take us to.

Spencer then said "Okay, can we like walk for a minute," nodding my head we both went into a walk. Looking around I saw we were in the middle of Rosewood; town square is what I think most people call it.

I asked "Do you want to get a drink?" I pointed over at the brew.

Spencer answered with "Sounds like a good idea," we walked over to the brew and enter the little café turn restaurant.

We both entered the line together, Spencer then said "Hey can get me a bottle of water and a chicken and cheese pie while I quickly go to the toilet."

I replied with "Sure thing," Spencer smiled at me before walking over to where the female bathrooms were.

A voice then said "Next please," looking up when I heard the voice because I knew it and was surprised to hear it.

I say "Jenna."

Jenna replied with "Emily."

I asked "Since when have you worked here?"

Jenna answered with "I just started thought it would help keep me distracted from everything that is going on."

I replied with "Smart idea."

Jenna asked "So what can I get for you?"

I answered with "Can I please get two bottles of water, a chicken and cheese pie and a chocolate donut but don't tell my coach I ordered that."

Jenna smiled and said "Your secret is safe with me, is it all for you?"

I replied with "No, no I'm here with a friend we went running and decided to get something to drink and now eat I guess."

Jenna nodded and replied with "Sounds good, your order comes to $12.50," grabbing my wallet from the back pocket of my running shorts and pulling out a twenty dollar note.

Handing the money to Jenna, who gave me a table number and said "It shouldn't be too long and pick anywhere to sit."

I replied with "Cool thanks, I'll see you around," Jenna nodded her head there wasn't much time to talk since there were more people in the line. Taking the number, I looked around and found a two seater table in the back corner; which is exactly where I wanted to sit. Two minutes later I saw Spencer walk out from the bathroom, she paused and looked around for me until she found where I was and walked over to me.

Spencer asked while sitting down "Did everything go alright with the order?"

I replied with "Yeah, it's all fine."

Spencer asked "How much do I owe you?"

"Nothing, it's on me."

"I can't do that."

"Yes, you can," I give her look and the tone of voice which meant there was no arguing it.

"Fine, thank-you," I smiled for a victory. Spencer went to say something but I saw Jenna walking over to us with our order.

Jenna asked "Chicken and cheese pie?"

Spencer replied with "Mine," Jenna placed the pie in front of Spencer and a bottle of water.

Jenna said "That must mean the donut is yours."

I replied with "You know it," she smiled and place it down in front of me a long with my bottle of water.

I asked "Is today your first day?"

Jenna replied with "No, I started last week."

Jenna then added "Their looking for a dish-hand if you're interested?"

I say "No, no it's alright, I should stay focused on getting back to school and swimming."

Jenna replied with "I didn't realised you swim."

"Yeah, I'm the co-captain with another girl on the team."

"Fun," I smiled and nodded my head now really missing swimming.

Looking at Spencer who was sitting there like she had no idea what to do, I say "Oh sorry you two don't know each other. Spencer this is Jenna, Jenna this is Spencer."

Jenna replied with "It's nice to meet you."

Spencer said "Likewise," they smiled at each other politely. Jenna seemed to remember something because she clicked her fingers and had this weird expression on her face.

Jenna said "I've meaning to tell you, I told my Mum about you and she straight away asked for you to come over to dinner."

I asked "Really? Why?"

Jenna answered with "We both know why."

I say "Can I get back to you?"

Jenna replied with "Sure, just find me at school or here."

I said back "Yeah I'd give you my number but I don't have phone, I should probably look at solving that problem."

Jenna answered with "Definitely, I think I would die if I didn't have my phone."

Smiling I say "I've lasted a couple of weeks without it."

Jenna replied with "Such a brave person," we smile at each other before Jenna got called back over to the counter to serve people. Picking up my donut, I take a massive bite because I'm hungry before unscrewing the lid on my water and taking a few sips before chewing and swallowing the bite of donut.

Spencer asked "How do you know her?" this was Spencer polite way of asking.

I answered with "Our Dads were in the same platoon together."

Spencer looked over at Jenna before back at me and said "Meaning," Spencer drop off at the end and I nodded my head knowing what she was meaning.

Spencer said "That suck."

I replied with "Yeah no kidding," I went back to eating my donut and Spencer started to eat her pie.

We ate for a few minutes in silencer before Spencer said "I know you've got Hanna to talk to but if you want to talk or need help with anything you can just ask me."

I replied with "I know Spence and believe me I'm going to need your help with something that Hanna isn't really good at."

"What is that? I'm pretty sure Hanna can do most things."

"School work, I've fallen behind in most of my classes and am going to need some help, Spencer brain help."

"Why is it the only time you girls need my help is when it's to do with school work?"

"Because your super smart and remember everything the teachers say to us or try to teach us."

"But I'm good at other things too."

"Which I know and so do the girls."

"Then why is it that you can talk to Hanna about all your problems but not us, me."

"Spence, you can't force me to talk."

"I know that but it just feels like you and Hanna are always at arm's length."

"I'm sorry if we make it seem like that."

"Aria and Ali are close and open with each other, you and Hanna are close and open with each other and then there's me the odd one out. You guys only need my help when it comes to school work."

"There is a reason why Aria and Ali are closer to each other than anyone else."

"Why? What's the reason?"

I replied with "They like each other."

"What?" Spencer looked at me like I had two heads.

"I'm not sure if it's because of the little gaydar I do have but they are totally into each other but think the other isn't."

"Why haven't you said anything?"

I responded carefully with "Because it's not really my business, if they ask then I'll help but until then I'll just sit back and watch."

"And are you into Hanna, is that why you two are so close?"

"No, not at all. Hanna and I are just close because we get each other."

"So what you guys don't get me?"

"Spence, we all get you, understand you and know who you are."

"Then why does it feel like I'm not close to you guys."

"I don't know Spence; I honestly don't know what to say. You're our friend; we care for you, love you and want to see you achieve your goals."

Spencer asked "Really?"

I replied with "Yes, we've been to every single one of your science fairs, hockey games and anything else you've competed in. Just like you've been to my swim meets, Aria's art show, Hanna and Ali's going to parties."

Spencer said "Thank-you Emily."

"No problem, by the way I'm not just using you for your brain I'm also using you for your legs and athletic ability the other girls just don't have," I smiled and laughing at the end so Spencer knew I was joking and by her joining me in laughter; I think it worked.

Spencer then asked "Can I ask you something about what Hanna said?"

I replied with "Yeah, okay," I gave a hand gesture for her to ask.

Spencer said "Hanna was telling us how you were and she accidental said something out loud that confused us, she said that she was grateful that you had something else other than your parents dying to focus on." I nodded my head and knew straight away what Hanna meant by what she was saying, she was meaning Mona and again at the thought of Mona I smiled.

I think before speaking "Before my whole world was turn upside down, I start to build up the confidence to ask the girl I like out but then everything happened and well now I just don't want to use her or something like that."

"Right, can I know who or is it a Hanna only?"

"I guess there's no harm in you knowing," Spencer gave me the hand gesture to continue.

"It's Mona, I'm absolutely crazy about her."

Spencer smiled, thought about it before nodding her head approvingly and said "You two would be super cute together," I smile and blush a little.

"Thanks, Mona knows I like her but we just don't want, I don't know how to say it for it to make sense."

"You just lost your parents, she doesn't want to get in the way of your grieving and you don't want to hurt her while you're in the grieving process, is that about right?"

"Yeah, it's exactly right," I smiled and nodded my head once again.

"I think it's smart of you both to not rush into things, get to know each other some more and then when the time is right for you both then you're already at like the 10th date."

"When you say it like that, it makes it sound like we planned it to be like that."

"Maybe you did, without realising it. You were both probably protecting yourself and each other from hurting the other and breaking each other's hearts, wait Mona does like you back right?"

"I'm fairly sure, I don't know all the conversations we've had are all really blurry and I only remember bits."

"Maybe you should find out."

"Probably I good idea, I fairly sure she likes me back I mean who wouldn't right?" I smiled a cocky smile which made Spencer roll her eyes and shake her head at me.

Spencer said "Thank-you for telling me."

"It's nothing Spence; don't take it so personally when I tell something to Hanna or Aria or Ali before you. It's not a popularity competition it's probably just the person who was near me at the time, I mean there's things I've talked to with Mona that Hanna doesn't even know. Even Jenna knows a bit; but that's more because we are going through the same thing."

Spencer nodded her head and said "I'll try not to, it's just hard."

"I know, have you finished?" I asked pointing to her empty plate.

"Yes I am."

"Cool, how about we get out this place and run off what we just ate, then head back to the Marin's house and hopefully Hanna won't be too worried about me when we get back?"

"Sounds good and Hanna is just really protective of you."

"Believe me I know," we stood up from our table and before leaving I said a quick goodbye to Jenna, we then left to go run anywhere our legs would take us.