Finally! Sorry I have midterms so I've been really busy.
Thank you so much for all the lovely reviews - they make my day honestly!
Also, I'd recommend hearing to Stay by Rihanna for the second half of this story.
Chapter 20
Her first instinct is to run.
Not away, but instead to him. To wrap her arms around his shoulders and bury her nose to his chest, letting herself lean on him for support. And letting him hold her – whispering assurances in her ear in his deep voice, running his fingers from her head down to her back soothingly, and swaying with her lightly.
Killian takes a step forward as if he was thinking the exact same thing but stills once he sees Emma walk backwards.
"Emma?" his eyebrows twitch together and she looks down to the ground, unwilling to let herself lose control and give in to her urges.
"I don't want to talk to you" Emma states firmly, fumbling with her car keys and stalking towards her bug.
She feels his hand circle her wrist and she whirls around, snatching her hand from his as they stand face to face, "What do you want Killian?"
"I'm so sorry for whatever has occurred Emma but I can reassure you that I will do everything in my power to fix it" he says in one breath.
"There's no fixing it. The entire world knows about my past and it's all cause of you" Emma snaps.
She hears his breath hitch and it pains her so much but all of this did happen cause of his interference in her life.
"Emma?" he falters, unsure of what to say. It was true that if they hadn't been secretly dating, if he'd never stumbled into her life (or rather she did with her coffee), this never would've happened. Her past would be safe and buried and not everyone to judge and gossip about.
An uncomfortable silence falls between them, neither one of them knowing what to say.
"If only you give me a chance, love" Killian finally speaks, stretching a hand as to touch her but retracing it just a moment later.
"A chance to do what? My life is already ruined" she sneers.
"We could at least discuss what happened…"
"Discuss what Killian? How someone in your office or some stalking reporter took pictures of us together?" she yells, "how they dug into my past, my fucking past that I finally told you, trusted enough to tell you and splashed it all over the tabloids?"
She pauses to breathe, "Or how everyone is calling me a slut or a horrible person for abandoning my baby. How everyone in your office thinks I'm sleeping with you to get a promotion and more money?"
She stares at him, as he looks at her guiltily, his face fallen. Her colleagues at most had apologized but the first day when the news had broken out, they had all called her names and even now a few of them did bid her farewell with a few high school slangs.
"Janice called me a "greedy slut" and that it was in my nature to do this since I am a criminal as someho-"
"I'll fire her" Killian cuts her off firmly.
"What?" Emma shakes her head.
"I'll fire Janice" he repeats, his gaze holding hers.
"Right" she scoffs, "And Steve! Oh yes he asked me if we had a dom-sub sort of thing going on! He sa-"
"I'll fire him too" Killian cuts her off again and after Emma stares at him with a inquisitive and a are you for real look he says, "Anyone who said anything unpleasant to you: I'll fire them"
Despite her anger she feels her mouth twitch as she suppresses the smile threatening to slip, "You won't have a company left then"
"So be it" Killian tilts his head, "That'll be a lesson for me to not fuck this up"
They stare at each other for a while before he speaks, "Things were going so well before it all got fucked up"
"Were they?" Emma whispers, her voice soft and low.
"Weren't they?" he retorts firmly, hurt and longing evident in his eyes making her just want to run her fingers through his scruff until his frown lines disappear.
Emma blinks rapidly as a flashlight blinds her and watches as Killian turns around in confusion. Two photographers stand a couple of feet behind them as they repeatedly take pictures of them, muttering words like "Hello guys" "How's it going?"
Emma's blood boils as she watches Killian go over to them and yell until they leave before sneaking in a few more pictures of them. This this is why she was mad, is mad.
"You see? What the fuck Killian?" she yells, feeling her cheeks burning red in barely suppressed anger. She opens her car door and retrieves the magazine from her passenger seat.
"Swan I didn't know they were here. I didn't know who took thos-"
"There were private photos of us" Emma cuts him off, going through the magazine, "Just you and me in the park, on our dates, shopping. And there was one of us in your office Killian – the day you left for Canada. How?" she stops at the picture – it's a shot from a corner and Killian and Emma are visible from the sides as they kiss with her clutching onto his shirt, and his hands firmly on her ass.
Emma snatches to the next page, her mug shot and GAVE UP BABY written in big bold letters staring at them both, and a shot of rage goes through her, "Was it Mr. Smee? You know maybe he got bored trying to do all your work and decided for payback" she snaps, "Or was it you? Was this a way to garner publicity for yourself? Maybe you liked the fact that I resisted you and didn't fall at your feet like all the other girls you've fucked. Maybe you liked the challenge and this was all just trying to get me to sleep with you and screwing me ove-"
"EMMA" Killian yells, the vein in his head twitching and Emma has never seen him like this. She's never seen him raise his voice at her, or anyone and never seen him look at her with such anger.
"After all the time we've spent together is this what you really think?" he spats, not giving her time to answer, "I bloody well did not know anything about this entire nuisance and since the moment I've known I've been restless – I haven't slept or eaten or done anything beside excessively worrying about how you were doing and you're accusing me for doing this?"
Emma stays silent, looking away from him.
"Look at me Emma" he states firmly and she can feel his heated gaze on the side of her face so she finally, slowly turns towards him. His blue eyes conveying just how he felt – hurt.
Well she was hurt, too.
"I didn't mean that" Emma says, blinking, "But Killian there is a picture from inside your office. And it is my past on here, I'm the one who is being called names and all cause of your status"
"We'll figure this out" he says, clipped, but there is something different in his voice, something angry.
She looks at him as he stares back at her, a fire in his blue eyes but the ways she's gotten used to him looking at her with adoration, love, or even lust, but instead is rage and she suspects her own emerald mirror the same emotion.
It feels wrong.
Everything suddenly feels wrong and all she wants to do is curl up in her bed and cry her heart out with her face pressed to her pillow.
She turns around, opening the car door wide as she slips inside, slamming it close behind her. She turns the engine on and puts her seatbelt on, wishing and hoping that maybe just maybe he'll say something.
She doesn't look up, he doesn't say anything, and she drives away.
-xxxxxxx-
Killian enters his office and all eyes snap up to him, everyone looking surprised as they took in his casual attire and his un-groomed hair and scruff. It was the first time they were seeing him after this scandal and no one dared to speak a word, not even a greeting.
Killian walked towards his office, his jaw tight as he muttered "Janice and Stuart you're fired"
There were surprised "what's" from duo but Killian ignored them and stalked towards his office, feeling David following him.
As soon as David slammed the door behind him Killian turned to face the man, "This is exactly the type of problem I was worried about!" David yells.
"You've ruined her life!" David continued, his hands on his hips.
"Listen mate" Killian started, his eyes livid with anger, "We both were in a relationship. It was agreed by both of us that we would keep this is a secret"
David shakes his head in annoyance, "You don't deserve her" he states as he leaves.
Killian scans his room, remembering the photo he had seen of him and her in this very office as she was kissing him goodbye. The picture seemed like it was taken from the side. Killian turned and spotted the culprit.
He knew exactly who'd done this.
As he took apart the bouquet of ferns on his side table and found a little hidden camera on one of the branches, his suspicions were confirmed.
He departed for Shira's house.
-xxxxxx-
"How did you know?" Killian seethed.
"The day after our scandal when I came to your office, I noticed a woman's purse behind you and a pair of heels beside your table" Shira smiled wickedly, "Then I met with the photographer who had leaked our pictures and he showed me all the ones he had of you and Emma but he didn't know anything about it. Of course I just then hired someone to search for any dirt on her and oh boy did I get dirt. The I sent that bouquet for your office in hope of catching something and I did"
"I'll destroy you" Killian smiled back dangerously.
"My father already took care of that" Shira replies, "But what I did to you – it's unfixable. She's never going to be able to love you as she'll always remember what this relationship resulted in"
Killian left without a word.
-xxxxxx-
He had decided on hiring a lawyer from outside his company. Arthur was famous for being a charming man but could be ruthless in a courtroom and was willing to go to any lengths to win.
Arthur had reassured him that the case was really simple and that TMZ and Shira would definitely be sued. Killian also asked him to reassure that those pictures and absolutely anything about Emma never be printed unless she agrees to it. He also demanded for TMZ to make a public apology and for the particular photographer to be fired.
/
Killian gulped down his fourth glass of rum, the tingling spreading down to his toes. He was sitting in his walk-in closet surrounded with his and Emma's clothes, her favorite blue scarf in his hand.
He wasn't sure where they stood now. Surely they could work this out together? He hasn't even gotten a chance to tell her that he loves her. And he's damn sure she loves him too.
But she just sat in her car and left.
Everyone leaves. He throws his empty glass on the carpeted floor and instead just takes hold of the rum bottle. He hadn't drunk this heavily for a couple of months now – he didn't need to. His inner demons, the ones who keep replaying his mother and Milah's death and his father's abandonment, the ones that had quieted down since he took in charge of the company and met Emma, stirred up again making him revolt to his alcohol.
No one loves me enough to stay he brushes off the tearstains on his cheek. Feeling agitated and hopeless he picks up his phone to call the one person who he is damn sure would never leave him.
"You finally decided to talk to me" Liam grunted on the other side of the line, "If Elsa wasn't in her last month, I would have come to kick your sodding ass"
Killian breathed loudly, the little boy in him coming to life as Liam, always Liam soothes him down just by his voice.
"Are you alright?" Liam's voice softened, "Smee told me Shira is the culprit….Anyways how's Emma?"
"I don't bloody know, she wouldn't talk to me" Killian complained, and added, "Of course she's angry and sad" He remembers the way her eyes had teared up and he hated the fact that there was nothing he could do then.
"Elsa and I tried to call her but she didn't respond. David told me he and Mary Margaret checked on her and she's very hurt which is understandable"
Killian's heart broke. The last thing he ever wanted was for his Emma to be hurt in any way, especially cause of him.
"Of course she is" Killian sighs, "It's all my fault"
"Hey Killian" Liam's voice softens, just the way it used to when he would assure him that there were no monsters underneath his bed, "No it wasn't. It was Shira's fault. Not yours or Emma's - you guys managed to pull this off for almost five months"
There's silence as Killian ponders over his brother's words. When Emma had blamed him in the morning about it being his entire fault, he'd gotten angry. The moment he got the news in Canada, he had instantly started blaming himself. The only reason such a thing happened to Emma was because she was dating a man whose life has previously been displayed many times on trashy magazines for the world to see. He was used to it and frankly he didn't care.
But Emma wasn't. She was a very private person and wouldn't appreciate in any manner for her own personal things to be judged by the public. If she was dating another man, someone who wasn't quite prone to be stalked by paparazzi, she wouldn't have had this problem.
But a small part of him was hoping that Emma understood that he had absolutely no control or power over this.
But alas, she blamed him and that ticked him off for a minute. Just a minute; but that had been enough to get her driving away from him.
"I don't now what to do, brother. I screwed up this morning – I let her go" Killian says hurriedly.
"Well go get her back! Tell her the truth, listen to her, and do whatever she wants you to" Liam said, "Killian if you truly love her, and I know you do, go get her back"
Killian gulped down the rest of his rum as he started thinking exactly how to go from here.
"You deserve to be happy, little brother" Liam said, a hint of sadness in his own tone.
"Younger brother" Killian smiled, glad that he called Liam (not that he'd ever tell him that).
"Alright Killian" Liam emphasized on his name, "Now go tell her you love her so you both can be here for Thanksgiving. Elsa's delivery date is just two days after that and I would want our baby to meet his sodding uncle"
Killian smiled and after asking about the baby and Elsa, hung up.
-xxxxxx-
Emma slouched back into her couch, discarding her box of Chinese food and instead grabbing another can of beer. She opened Youtube on her TV and clicked on the first recommended music video.
Stay by Rihanna. How fitting.
Makes me feel like I can't live without you…
Seeing Killian again, after everything that happened these past few days and just seeing him all wrecked and wanting to fix this…it broke her.
After driving away from him, she was almost home when Kathryn had called her to meet up and Emma accepted, driving down to her office instead.
Kathryn hadn't commented on Emma's splotchy red eyes but instead got down to business – showing her around the office, her own room, some basic protocols and rules of the office, her expectations, the type of cases they get, and answered Emma's questions. It was a good distraction. Kathryn's practice was everything Emma ever wanted to do with her law degree – to actually help out people in need.
None of the people in her office had commented on her controversy and amongst the pile of magazines present at the reception, the ones bearing her and Killian's pictures weren't there. Kathryn had handed her the contract, their code of conduct to be signed and read by her, and some client files to get started. It was already a Thursday so she'd offered Emma to start from Monday, but Emma refused, assuring her that she would be in the office next morning. She could use the distraction.
But at night, when she's home alone, her thoughts drift to him, always to him. She knows she got carried away this morning, accusing him for being behind this fiasco when she knows he would never even dream of hurting her.
It's not much of a life you're living…
She sighs loudly and throws her head back on the back of her couch. She's just so tired. Tired of always feeling like she's never enough, that anyone who shows any interest or care for her will eventually leave her, tired of pretending that she doesn't need anyone when she clearly does.
Oh the reason I hold on
Ooh cause I need this hole gone…
For the first time in her life Emma felt needed, wanted, and not just for what her body could offer but for so much more. And she liked it. She wanted it.
Funny you're the broken one
But I'm the only one who needed saving
He needed her too. She knew that – he may pretend to be all cocky and self-assured from the outside, but from the inside he was completely like her. Broken, utterly broken.
And she was broken too.
Cause when you never see the light
It's hard to know which one of us is caving
Maybe they are just two pieces of a puzzle that are supposed to fit together to make each other whole.
If you dare, come a little closer
Brushing the tears away from her face, Emma knew what she needed.
Time. Time heals everything.
And she wanted to heal, she wanted to not give a shit about the tabloids, to tell him she loves him and wants to be with him. So she picks up her phone.
I want you to stay.
-xxxxxxx-
Killian was disposing off his uneaten pizza when his cell phone binged.
Swan his phone lighted up and everything inside Killian lighted up. He scrolled to the notification and the words made his knees buckle and to drop on the chair in his kitchen as relief and hope flooded through his veins.
I want you, I need you in my life. I just need some time – E
-xxxxx-
The reply was immediate, Emma opening the notification and for the first time in days, she smiled.
I'll always wait for you, my love. – K
-xxxxxx-
And so I've finally figured out that this story is going to have 2 more chapters and then an epilogue :)
Leave reviews? Pretty please :)