Disclaimer: Not mine.

Warning: This one has a certain amount of icky squickiness as well as whole load of sap at the end. You've been warned…..It's also the longest chapter to date, and my personal favourite, purely because I got to write off-the-scale sappiness.

What's in a Name?

Expect the unexpected.

That first morning in Heero's kitchen, I would never have expected that by dinnertime, I would have had a row with Trowa, would have started a tentative friendship with Honey, or would be entertaining semi-warm feelings toward Heero himself, simply because he seemed to be the only person in the entire universe who was willing just to leave me alone.

My 'phone started to ring soon after we'd finished breakfast; apparently Wufei had let everyone know what was going on, and once I'd managed to convince my friends that no, Heero wasn't slapping me around and didn't have me chained in his cellar, I called Wu back to yell at him.

Zechs picked up. They'd somehow managed to 'acquire' a small 'plane and 'persuade' Delhi Air Traffic Control to let them take off; and Wufei had gone to fill in the flight plan. I wasn't sure I wanted to know the exact details of said acquisition and persuasion.

'Well, when he gets back, tell him I'm going to kick his ass. I'm serious, Zechs; it's bad enough having him worrying about me without him telling everyone in the entire universe what's happened.'

'Then you should stop doing things that make us worry, did you ever think of that?'

'I didn't do anything!

'He's just...' The pause was actually tangible as he choked back the 'W' word, and searched for an alternative. '...concerned about you. Do you have any idea how helpless he's feeling right now, that he can't be there for you?'

'He doesn't need to be. I'm alright.'

'Duo...stop it. He loves you, he remembers how you were the last time you and Heero split up. He just doesn't want to have to go through all that again.'

'And you think I do? Christ, Zechs, I'm not that much of a masochist. Sure, Heero and I have a history, but I've moved on and he certainly has, OK? We're not exactly hormonal teenagers any more.'

'Maxwell, when exactly did you figure out that it was unacceptable for you to lie to the rest of the world, but perfectly acceptable to delude yourself?'

'I'm not - deluding myself. I'm being realistic and practical and mature, like I'm bloody well supposed to be. Yes, I probably still have ...some sort of feelings for him. Is that what you want me to say? I'm never going to forget him, and maybe there'll always be a part of me that's in love with him, but that was all over years ago. Finito. Seriously.'

'I didn't understand any of that,' he confessed and I had to grin. Honestly, I'm not entirely sure how I feel about Heero most of the time either. 'Duo, just - take care, OK? We'll call you.'

'Don't forget to give Fei my message, will you?'

'No fear. You want to kiss his ass, and you love him because he cares about your welfare so much.'

'Whatever.'

It probably wasn't a good idea to call Tro, the mood I was in, and it didn't get any better when he told me he'd booked a flight from Spain in two days' time.

'I thought we were going to discuss that. Together.'

'Duo, you said you wanted me there. I want to be with you. What's the problem?'

'I'm not Quatre.'

OK, where the hell had that come from? I think Trowa was as stunned as I was, if his silence was anything to go by.

'I - I mean..'

What I meant was...God, damned if I even knew. That I'm not Quatre. That Quat was the one Trowa looked after, not me. Inside my head is a damned scary and complex place.

'Duo, just tell me how my being there is going to be a problem.'

'Because you care about me.'

'A logical reason.'

'Um, does that have to be logical by your standards or mine?'

'Duo!'

'Trowa. Look, I'm sorry, I just...'

I'm not Quatre and I don't need you to protect me.

There are things I have to do by myself and this is one of them.

I don't need you here starting some macho bullshit with Heero.

'There's nothing wrong with needing people.'

Yeah, that's what my therapist was always saying. He'd never really qualified how I should get past being let down by the first person I'd ever let myself need.

It probably only made sense in my head, but I knew I could let myself lean on Wufei and Zechs, simply because I'd been there for them already.. Apart from the time, years ago, when Quatre had tried to kill himself, I'd never once seen Trowa Barton at a loss. And I really, really wanted him to see me as equally strong; he'd never seen me at my worst either and one of the things I'd always cherished about his friendship was that he was the one person who'd never believed he had some magic formula to fix my life, but who'd just been there for me.

It hadn't occurred to me that this might change, now that we'd become more than friends, that all of his very protective instincts might be swivelling in my direction for a change.

I think we were both relieved when he had to cut the call short to attend a rehearsal; I tried to frame sort of apology before he hung up but I'm not sure if it worked.

It was a long day.

I'd been dreading dinner but it was actually - not too bad. Heero made himself pasta; I had slices of cold pizza, feeling just the tiniest twinge of remorse that all the toppings included olives, one of the very few foods that he actively hates.

Honey started off sitting by Heero's side; I think she gradually started to inch towards me because she could smell pepperoni and barbeque chicken and ended up leaning against my legs.

'She wants you to pet her, Duo.'

OK, Duo; pet the scary dog and maybe she won't tear your throat out. I ventured a tentative touch to the top of her head, and, at Heero's suggestion, stroked her ears. They were warm and unbelievably, velvety soft, and she obviously did like being stroked there, butting her head against me when I took my hand away.

After dinner, we watched the early evening news, and then some current affairs show. It was rather like being caught in some weird sort of time warp, except we weren't fighting, and there wasn't going to be make-up sex at some point. Heero told me something about a case he'd just taken on, and we talked a bit about Florence, and how he liked living in Italy.

I'd planned to feign tiredness and plead jet lag just so I could go to bed early, but by nine o'clock, I was already half asleep anyway and didn't need to make excuses, just gave a massive yawn and announced I was heading for a shower and bed.

And, yes, I would have done just that, except for Heero saying I could have a bath instead, and I just couldn't resist.

He hadn't told me the bath was located in the en-suite off his own bedroom, and I'd probably have refused if he had. It just seemed - disturbingly intimate.

He had one of those big tubs that take forever to fill, which gave me some time to look around. The bedroom was uncharacteristically cluttered; a leaning tower of files by the bed, and books heaped on his dresser. No little shrine to the lost love of his life, though. No evidence of any weird sexual practices either.

The bathroom was extremely neat. A toothbrush standing upright in its glass; a tube of toothpaste that had obviously started its career being squeezed very precisely from the end. Jars of bath oils in a regimented row; for about a minute it was actually quite funny to imagine him lounging in a bubble bath, instead of taking a brisk, cold shower.

I'm so stupid sometimes.

It was a big tub; plenty of room for two. He had a double bed. There were candles on a shelf in the bathroom, alongside a bottle of massage oil. Well, of course, he wasn't going to be lazing in the bath by himself, now, was he? There was obviously a mysterious someone else in the picture; someone, moreover, who'd managed to get him into candles. He'd always refused to have the things in our house, claiming they were potentially dangerous. No wonder he wanted to get me out of his house.

'Duo.'

Fuck, I nearly jumped out of my skin. I'd never even heard him open the door. Well, if he wanted to scrub my back for me, I'd clobber him with one of his fancy beeswax candles.

'I brought you some fresh towels.'

'Oh. Thanks.' It came out sounding a bit ungracious; after all, it wasn't my business any more who he wanted to sleep with, and he was trying hard to be a courteous host, so I forced a smile. 'Really. Thank you, Hee…thank you. Goodbye. Sleep well, I won't be too long.' I was babbling by then, just wanting him to get the hell out and leave me alone, not quite able to absorb the fact that I'd almost said his name.

Meeting his eyes just then was a mistake, being able to tell exactly what he was thinking, that he was no longer in Italy, but in a bathroom on the other side of the world, in the middle of a war. He'd given me a bath that other time, because I'd wounded and in shock, and clinging desperately to some semblance of self-control. It had been the first time he'd ever told me he loved me, the first time I'd truly acknowledged to myself that Heero Yuy was the other half of my torn and tattered soul.

I didn't even hear him leave. It was years since I'd used his name to his face, not since the night I'd told him to get out of my life, that I never wanted to see him again. It slipped out occasionally when we were talking on the 'phone, but that was all. I'd used his name as an endearment once, because it summed up exactly what he meant to me, the most important person in my life.

Oh, God. Did not need this right now, did not need to think about any of that….

It had been a mission that went horribly wrong. A mission that was supposed to be a simple infiltration-and-destruction on an MS factory; the sort of job that I should have been able to accomplish wearing a blindfold, a hula skirt and holding a placard saying 'Gundam Pilot. Approach with Caution.'

Unfortunately, in the 24 hours between me receiving orders and setting off, things had changed. I never knew if it was just an awful coincidence, or OZ had somehow gotten wind of a prospective attack and trebled the guard, and installed a new kick-ass security system. Either way, I was royally screwed.

Heero would kill me if I managed to get out of this one.

If.

I'd still managed to destroy the main production line, as well as a shitload of suits, and part of me was still feeling a little bit of pride about that, in between all the other things I was feeling. Mission more or less accomplished. Apart from the whole getting taken prisoner thing.

They'd been fairly brutal subduing me and dragging me into the cell, but I was still functional. Nothing major broken or ruptured, no serious blood loss.

But nothing changed the fact that I'd been captured, and yes, in retrospect the best idea would have been to keep quiet, and not draw any more attention to myself . Somewhere through the haze of pain, I'd heard a senior officer yelling orders that I was to beshipped off to the nearest military base for interrogation, and that might offer some opportunity to escape if I could just hang on for a bit.

The thing is, I'm not very good at being confined in small, dark, silent places. Somewhere in my mind was the fact that if I could maybe get the guards to open the door, I'd somehow manage to rush them and then…then I'd just go from there and make it up as I went along.

So I banged on the door and kicked for all I was worth, and … it worked in that the door clanged open.

'Getting lonely in there, were you?'

Oh, shit.

There were three of them; I couldn't see the one who'd spoken, the one who'd dragged me out of the cell and was currently behind me, with a death grip on the base of my hair that forced me up on tiptoes but he had to be freaking tall and strong. One of his buddies was slim and fair and probably only a few years older than I was; the other was massive, all bulked up on steroids and anger at the skinny kid who'd probably killed off a bunch of his friends.

'Maybe he wants to play with us, Elliott?'

'Maybe.' A low chuckle behind me that sent shivers skating down my spine, then I was on the ground with the three of them circling like wolves.

'Is that what you want, pretty boy? To play a game with us?'

The one called Elliott was the danger; the beefy guy would be too slow and stupid to do much damage and the young one was clearly nervous about the whole thing, wiping his palms on his coat and eyes darting toward the door. But Elliott was damned scary - very alpha male in a fancy OZ uniform. A predator.

Fuck.

Wufei or Heero could have fought their way out of there without even breaking much of a sweat, but my specialities were running or hiding, neither of which was much help right now; not with the three of them eyeing me like I was birthday cake with the candles all lit.

'Screw you, assholes.'

If in doubt, insult someone. Always gets some sort of reaction.

'Oh, I don't think so. Of course, we might try it the other way around.'

Elliott again, damn him. Mikos laughed, actually licking his lips but the blond guy looked worried.

'Elliott, we have orders not to harm the prisoner. The Colonel said that…'

'I know what he said, Darnley. And we're not going to harm him, just warm him up a little; right, Mikos?'

'But…' That was Davis again, but I could already tell he wasn't going to get anywhere, that Elliott was the one in charge.

'I think he needs to be stripped before anything else. These rebels are tricky bastards, he could have a weapon hidden under his clothes…'

It's not easy to fight three to one, especially when you're already hurt and two of them outweigh you several times. I tried, though, had the satisfaction a couple of times of hearing a gasp of pain; didn't' want to think about the possibility of it being me. Really not easy to keep fighting when you're face down on a concrete floor; the rope biting into wrists was already cutting off circulation, and breathing was hard enough that they' d probably cracked a couple of ribs, if not worse.

'Pretty as a girl, isn't he, with all that hair?' The big one, Mikos was standing in front of me, one hand undoing his belt and the other stroking himself. 'What say we tan that cute little butt, Elliott? Get it nice and pink before we got on to the real fun bit, eh?'

My lip was bitten to blood by the time he'd finished, my throat raw from trying not to cry. Waste of time and energy. He'd used the belt first, then crouched over me and used the flat of his hand, gloating over the imprint his fingers left on skin.

'I think that's enough for now, Mikos. We do want him to be awake enough to participate, don't we?'

'Oh, yeah, you like them to fight, Elliott, don't ya? Well, he's not so feisty now, are you, little slut?' He bent over me, fingers still moving on my skin, whispering. 'Gonna own this butt inside and out by the time I'm done, you rebel fucker. See if you're so brave then.'

'Mikos, I don't think we…'

'Darnley, chill out, man. You heard the accent; he's from L2, they're all whores there. Whores and rebels who don't deserve to be treated decently. The slut's probably dying for it, right?'

'Right,' Mikos agreed, leering. 'Elliott, y'know there's still one place we forgot to search him. Prob'ly be in dereliction of our duty if we didn't check everywhere.'

'Good point. Fuck, Darnley, relax for god's sake. It's all just a bit of fun between friends and no one's ever going to know. Can't rape a whore, eh Mikos? He's probably had half the colonies through here.'

'Yeah, bet you can park an MS between those skinny legs,' Mikos sniggered.

'Maybe not,' Elliott murmured thoughtfully, withdrawing his finger and spitting into his hand. 'He's tight. We could be doing the inquisitors a favour, you know, breaking him in a bit. They'll probably thank us for it.'

'You want first go, Darnley?'

It wasn't happening.

That was all I could think of. It was all some vile nightmare, it wasn't really happening, and there was some place in my mind that I had to be able to retreat into, to escape from the pain and the thought of what was to come, and those voices, scratching across my consciousness like torn and filthy fingernails.

'Elliott, I - I don't - I'm not into…'

'Fuck, man. Just close your eyes and you won't know the difference. Nice soft ass, nice snug hole; you'll think it's pussy once you get going. A tight little virgin, eh?'

'An L2 virgin. Who'd 've thunk it?' Ramos again, sniggering. 'If you want him, Darnley, get on with it, right? I'll go next an' loosen him up a bit more, then Elliott can play with him a bit.'

I was trying so very hard not to be there, that I never noticed the door open, never noticed that someone new had entered the room. When Mikos grunted and fell heavily across my legs I thought he'd lost patience waiting for Darnley to make up his mind, then Elliott crashed to the ground in front of me, blood spilling from the hole in his forehead.

It was Heero, bending over me and wearing some poncey OZ uniform and of course it was a hallucination.

'Duo! Duo, are you all right?'

'I'm just dreaming you.'

'I'm real, I swear.' He had the ropes untied and then I was sitting up, rubbing my wrists together, feeling the first sharp sting as the blood raced back. 'I'm going to get you out of here.'

There were footsteps outside, racing past; Heero swivelled toward the door and, to my right, Darnley moved slightly. There was blood gushing down his shirt; Heero had probably aimed for his heart and been slightly off. But he was holding a gun, and it was levelled straight at Heero.

''Ro! Behind you!' He whirled around and by then I was holding the revolver I'd snagged from Mikos' holster.

'No, please. Don't kill me. I didn't hurt you. I tried to get them to stop.'

Sure you did. Just not very hard.

All I could think, as I pulled off the safety catch, and aimed was something that Father Maxwell had once told me, something about how evil could only happen if good men stood back and men let it. And Darnley had stood by and watched. Had been going to kill Heero.

After that I don't remember a lot. Heero somehow got me dressed me in Elliott's uniform coat and hat, and half carried me through the plant, which was going up in flames. I later found out that he'd riddled the place with explosives timed to go off every fifteen minutes. No one paid any attention to one soldier helping a wounded comrade.

'Where are we going?'

Heero had to stop the car twice for me to lean out the window and retch. After the second time, it was a little easier to speak and for actual coherent sounds to come out.

'It'll take about another hour. There's a resort by the ocean that lets out holiday cottages; I've hidden Wing back there. We can stay there tonight and get back to the safe house tomorrow.'

'Not far enough, 'Ro.'

'It's OK, Duo. They're in no shape to send out search parties tonight, and the nearest base is hours away.'

I drifted off a bit after that, curled on my side with Heero's hand resting on my shoulder, and only woke when he stopped the car, and half carried me inside.

We ended up in the fanciest bathroom I'd ever seen; two sinks, an actual freaking fireplace, a huge shower with all sorts of jets and attachments and a corner tub. Heero perched me on the corner of that and turned on the water, while he undressed me, taking it very slowly and talking all the time, telling me what he was doing, how brave I'd been, letting me focus on his voice.

Oh, God. It was the one thing I'd been dreaming of for months; to be alone with Heero and naked and to have his hands on me. But not like this.

I couldn't stop shivering and ended up curled on a couple of towels on the floor while he examined me, drifting in and out of full consciousness. At one point, there was the most sickening crunch as he pulled a bone back into place, but most of the other injuries were fairly superficial. My right hand was the worst; it looked like something that belonged on a butcher's slab, and I'd torn out a couple of fingernails. Serves me right for trying to gouge concrete with one hand.

'Will I live?'

'Absolutely.' He picked up my right hand, which he'd just bandaged and kissed it gently. 'Duo, they…didn't hurt you, did they?'

Absurd question, in the circumstances, what with me oozing blood all over the nice white tiled floor but of course I knew what he meant, what he couldn't quite bring himself to say.

'No. I swear. Not like that. You turned up just in time, though.'

'I didn't know where you were being held! That was the worst bit, I was scared to take Wing, in case I ended up hitting you somehow, so I went inon foot and it took longer than I'd thought…'

'Oh, Heero, don't, it's alright. You saved me.' He was shaking as badly as me, all of a sudden, and for the longest time we just lay there on the two bloodied, sodden bath towels, clinging to each other. He recovered first.

'Let's get you into the tub and clean this muck off. Come on, I'll help you.'

'Don't like baths, 'Ro, ' I whined. 'Why can't I have a shower?'

'Because I very much doubt you could stand up for long enough. Come on; you'll like it.'

He was right; my only other experience with baths had been at the orphanage. They'd had a tin bath that I could only fit in if I folded myself in half, and the water was always cold because the smallest kids got to get first turn.

It was different in a tub that could have held all five of us pilots, with the water all warm and scented with some sort of oil that Heero had poured in. Of course, it didn't hurt that he was bending over me with a cake of soap and a washcloth and an expression of total concern on his face. I'd never even dared to imagine what it might be like to feel so cherished.

He only left me once, for a couple of minutes to make us both tea. Mine was disgusting, laced heavily with sugar and brandy but he laughed at the faces I was making, claiming they were both traditional remedies for shock and kissing me when I'd finished it.

'Since you hate baths so much, do you want to get out now?'

'Never. I never want to get out of this tub in my whole life, ever. '

'OK.'

'I mean it, Heero.' I slid down for a minute, letting the water wash over my face and when I came up, his hands were on my shoulders, massaging gently.

'This is so cool.' I mumbled. 'I've gone to Heaven and I didn't even need to die.'

'You'll be developing webbed skin if I leave you there for much longer. Come on, Duo, you'll be falling asleep soon. Let's get you of this and dry you off.'

'I think I can manage to walk,' I told him after he'd enveloped me in the warmest, softest towel and dried me gently.

'Maybe I want to carry you.' He hoisted me up and grinned. 'At least, I know you can't get into mischief when I've got you like this.'

'Sure about that, are you?' He gasped as I reached up and swiped my tongue across his ear; I think he might actually have dropped me if both of my arms hadn't been wrapped tightly around his neck.

'God, Duo!'

It was one of those things that had seemed like a good idea at the time; one of those things that I'd obviously gotten wrong and I was stammering apologies as he put me down on the bed.

'No, don't apologise! It was - unexpected, that's all. Maybe you could warn me next time?'

'Then I'd lose the element of surprise,'

He'd already turned down the bed quilt, and pulled it up after I'd found the most comfortable way to lie. Then he got in the other side, not saying anything, leaving the beside lamp on.

'Heero?'

'H'n.'

'Heero!'

'Duo, you should be trying to sleep.'

'But, Heero, I'm cold.'

' I think there are more blankets in the closet, if you want me to get one.'

'That would mean you'd have to walk all the way across the room. And there might be a monster under the bed.'

'Duo…'

'If you could let me snuggle a little bit, I'd get warm and then I'd fall asleep and then I wouldn't be bothering you and you could sleep too.'

I was babbling, ready for Heero to bite my head off, when he surprised the hell out of me...

Being held by Heero. He cradled me against him like I'd been spun out of crystals and cotton candy; my head fit into the curve of his right shoulder, just so, and his hand was stroking up and down my spine, very slowly.

We had - fooled around a little bit. Taught each other how to kiss, how to hug, learned how to hold each other's hand. Indulged in a little above-the-waist exploration. Even shared the same bed a couple of times, but never quite this intimately. Never when we were both naked.

'Better now?'

'The best,' I said quietly. I hadn't thought we could get any closer but found that with a little shifting I could slide one of my legs between his, wrap my left arm around his neck and cup my fingers around his cheek. 'I - I was scared you wouldn't want to touch me after…after what happened.'

'Oh, love, no. I'm sorry. I've been wanting so much to hold you, like this, but I was scared you wouldn't want it.'

His hand on my back stilled briefly, then moved farther north, until he was caressing the back of my neck. I'd never imagined that would be a sensitive spot - I touched it all the time when I was combing and braiding my hair - but Heero's fingertips were detonating a whole row of firecrackers under my skin..

'Where the hell did you learn to do that? And please don't say it was some obscure part of your assassin's training. Or that J. taught you.'

'I saw Barton doing it to Quatre last week. They both seemed to be enjoying the experience.'

'I bet they bloody well were! So you've been picking up tips from them, huh?'

'They are the only couple I've ever had the opportunity to observe closely. And it is obvious how they love one another.'

'Yeah.'

His hand delivered a long caress across my neck and shoulders, slid down my spine, pausing for a second in the small of my back.

'Half the colonies have probably been through here,' Elliott's voice echoed in my skull, and I froze.

Oh, God, they were going to do it, and there was nothing I could do to stop them nothing, just like before, and this time I knew exactly how much it was going to hurt…

'Duo! Duo, come back to me, love! It' s Heero, I'm here, I've got you, you're safe, I'll never let anyone hurt you. Never, I swear.'

Safe?

Heero?

I opened one eye, just the narrowest slit, and there he was.

'Sorry. Heero, I'm sorry; I just - those guys said things, horrible things; I can still hear them in my head.'

'They're gone, my love. We killed them, you and I. They can't ever hurt you again. You know that.'

'That's four times now,' I said quietly, and actually managed to smile at the look on his face, not having a clue what I was talking about. 'That you called me 'love,' I elaborated.

'Well, you are. Always. If you like it?'

'Of course I like it, you fool. But I thought 'baka' was your pet name for me.'

'Maybe you could have two? Barton and Winner seems to spend hours thinking up new names for each other.'

'Well, I'd rather you didn't call me all those weird names they come up with! Really, I like it when you just say my name.'

'Duo,' he softened the D almost to a J sound, and drew out my two syllables oh, so sweetly. 'Duo mio. Now, you'll have to come up with a name for me.'

Oh, God, it almost broke me, the look in his eyes as he said that. That in the middle of the insanity that was our lives, we'd somehow managed to find this - this connection, and how very, very much he was craving this one tiny piece of normality.

'I already have one,' I grinned at him, leaning a little closer to kiss the bridge of his nose. 'My Heero.'

'Duo - I don't think it counts if it's my real name. And it doesn't mean 'hero' in Japanese.'

'I know what your name means, baka.' Another kiss, dropped on the corner of his mouth. 'I looked it up. It means 'one and only', right? So you're my Heero. Always.'

'Oh, love,' He moaned softly as I tongued across his open mouth and then we were kissing properly, twined around each other. It was - wonderful at the start, before I fully realised the effect all I was having on him.

He wanted me. Like that.

Oh, God. For the first time, I really understood what Quatre had been worried about, the first time he'd shared a bed with Trowa, that Tro would think it meant he was ready for more than he really was.

I was in bed with Heero. We were both naked, and I'd started this. Couldn't very well turn around and tell him all I really wanted was to be held. Couldn't imagine that would go down terribly well.

He let me turn in his arms, let me snuggle against him, feeling that hardness at my back.

''Ro, just do it, OK?'

Just get it over with. Try not to hurt me too much. Try to make it quick.

'Duo, sweet, what are you talking about?'

'You know,' I pressed backwards against him, very deliberately. 'You want to fuck me, right? I won't try to stop you.'

Yeah, like I could anyway, even if I'd wanted to.

'Duo, no!'

I flipped away from him, would have fallen out of the bed if he hadn't caught me, stung by the rejection, that I was making a fool of myself, that of course someone like him couldn't want someone like me.

'What? I'm not good enough for you, is that it? Just another L2 whore, right? Well, fuck you, 'Ro!'

'Duo!'

Damn, it's unfair that any one person should be that strong and that fast. He had me on my back before I could so much as blink and was leaning over me, and I had a sudden stab of fear that it was going to happen, before I saw the expression in his eyes. I read somewhere that the ocean is the bluest thing on Earth but it's not true. Nothing in the whole universe is the colour of Heero's eyes. The essence of blue; the depth other shades can only dream of.

'I'll never hurt you like that.' He didn't need to say it aloud, because by then I'd seen the his face. 'I love you, Duo, and I would love to be with you, more than anything, but not like this. Not after what's happened today. Love, you're in shock and you're terrified and you're exhausted.'

'I just - I just wanted to give you something.'

'You give me everything. More than I'd ever even dreamed of. And one day I want you to look at me and tell you want it too. For yourself, and not because you feel you owe me something. Alright?'

'Mission accepted,' I muttered, letting me fold me against him, granting him that trust.

'Do you think you could try to sleep for a bit?'

'I'm scared. Scared of the nightmares. Scared that I'll wake up and this will just have been a dream.'

'Not a dream, love. I promise. I'll be here with you, I'll guard you if you fall asleep, and if you don't I can just lie here and look into your eyes. That's all. I promise.'

'I trust you.' I felt suddenly like I was about to be swept away in the tidal wave of tiredness that was breaking over my head, had to do one last thing before I let myself drown in it.

'I love you.'