When we had return to the table Spencer had given me this knowing look, I don't know how she did that just know everything about everyone but in this case I didn't mine but I was sure about Mona. Feeling Mona grab my hand under the table had been a surprise, but what shocked me the most was she brought our hands up onto the table to show everyone we were holding hands. To anyone else it would just look like friends but for our group they all knew what it meant and when I was met with happy smiles, I instantly relaxed. After that we continued with our studies until lunch, occasionally we need our hand back just to do something but we'd always return it straight away.

At lunch Mona said she needed to go see a teacher for help, I had offered to go with but she knew as well as I did my friends, or our friends wanted to get all the information out of me as they possibly could; which they had been dying to for two hours now. I had agreed to meet the girls at the table in the cafeteria but I needed to put my books away, I did go and meet them. They had billions of questions each but they all seemed very happy for me, I think they just wanted to see me happy and smiling. Jumping down onto Mona's porch bit outside of her window, I had used the big oak tree next to her window to climb up but I had to jump across to get onto the porch.

Looking inside the window the room was completely dark, I saw Mona asleep in her bed like everyone should be at 3:00am on a Saturday morning but I couldn't sleep. Mona and I had been dating for about two weeks, everyone seemed really happy for me including my grandparent and they both seemed to fall in love with Mona the minute they meet her. Our ice-cream date, as well as our first date had gone really well, I learnt Mona's favourite ice-cream flavour was cookie-dough. We had both really enjoy ourselves and couldn't stop smiling for day after, hell I still smile at the thought; I think to myself with a smile on my face.

I hadn't been able to sleep because of the letter, this damm letter that I haven't opened and was always in the back of my mind. I needed to talk to someone, Hanna was snoring and isn't an easy person to wake and I really just wanted to talk to Mona. I didn't want to talk over the phone and that's when I decided to sneak out of the house, leaving a note on the kitchen bench of where I was going and then coming over to Mona.

Tapping lightly on the window, I hope that would wake her but all it did was make her roll over in the opposite direction to me. Sighing to myself, I pull my brand new phone out which Hanna had bought for me a few days ago and I called Mona's phone. I watched as the phone lit up on her bedside table and watching Mona, I saw her start to stir. Soon her hand was brought out to tap around on the bedside table, when she felt it she brought it back to her and looked to see who the caller is.

At seeing my name on the screen she slowly sat up and answered with "Emily, are you okay?"

I replied with "I couldn't sleep, I'm sorry for waking you up," Mona had leant over to turn her bedside table light on. Taking in Mona's look, she was absolutely beautiful this was the natural Mona and I couldn't turn away from looking at her.

"It's okay, I don't mind," I sighed of relief to myself because I could see it was okay with Mona that I had called her.

"Hey, are you able to open your window it's kind of cold outside," I saw Mona become confused before looking up to her window and we she saw me there she smiled. Hanging up the phone, Mona places hers on the bedside table and hopes out of bed and makes her way over to the window. I know see Mona's clothing and she looks adorable, in her pink pyjamas with a bunny on the top and monkey's on her bottoms; obviously not a matching pair.

Mona asked after she opened the window "What are you doing here?"

"I want to talk to you and see you," Mona faces melts as she steps back for me to climb in through her window. Once I'm inside I turn around to close the window, as I am doing so Mona steps behind me and wraps her arms around me. After locking Mona's window I turn around and wrap my arms around Mona's body, we stand there holding each other.

"Are you okay?" Mona asked while pulling back to look at me.

I replied with "I just couldn't sleep, this is seriously haunting me," I pull the envelope out of my back pocket and hand it to Mona. Stepping around Mona and taking a seat on her bed as she looks over the envelope before she turned around to look at me.

"You haven't opened it."

"I haven't been ready but I kind of feel ready to now but I didn't want to do it alone."

Mona asked "You didn't think of waking Hanna?"

"I tried but she wouldn't wake up, and really she wasn't who I wanted to be with me when I open it," I looked up at Mona and she smiled at me.

"You are extremely adorable," Mona said while walking over to sit down next to me.

Mona placed the envelope back in my hands and spoke "If you want to open the envelope then open it and I'll be here for whatever you need afterwards."

"Okay," I say while taking a deep breath. Turning the envelope over to the opening, I slowly open it up which proves to be difficult task and I need up ripping the envelope into shreds; almost.

Slowly unfolding the letter, I read "Dear Miss Emily Fields, we are sorry to inform you of your parent's death. Major Wanye Fields was a good solider and much loved by everyone; his lost will be felt like everyone. We are so extremely sorry for Pam Fields, your Mums death too and we truly feel for you. If there is anything you ever need, please call us and we will help to the best of our abilities. Sorry for your losses, Colonel James Peters." Taking a deep breath as I read it over a third time, I feel the tears start to roll down my cheek and Mona pulls me into her arms. I burry my face into Mona's shoulder and she holds me while I cry, I hate crying in front of her and looking weak but I need to show my weakness to Mona. Pulling away from Mona, I wipe my fallen tears away and start looking around the room at everything expect for Mona. Standing up from Mona's bed, I slowly walk over to a book shelf Mona has filled with books and I start reading over the titles of each. Seeing one book I pull it out and flip the book over to the back to start reading the summary of the story, not that I needed it since I already knew what the book was about.

"You can borrow it if you want?" Looking behind me I see Mona standing there behind me, on her tippy-toes she was reading over my shoulder.

I replied with "There's a copy at my house, not Hanna's house at my home that house."

Mona asked "Did you ever read it?"

"Technically no, this book was my Mums favourite and she would read me random passages from it."

"Oh," Mona said in a sad tone and wrapped her arms around me from behind.

"Yeah she'd just randomly walk into my room and start reading it to me, I never appreciated it or realise how much I'd miss hearing their voices."

Placing back on the shelf, I say "If you want to go back to sleep you can, I'll just leave," I break out of Mona's arms and make my way over towards Mona's window.

"You don't have to go Emily," I turn to look at Mona and smiled at her sweetly.

I said "No, it's okay I should just go."

"Emily," Mona whispered out.

"Don't say anything, it's just better if I leave now."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Nothing, I should go before your Mum finds me here."

"My Mum won't care, why are you running from me?" Mona asked while forcing me to turn completely around to look at her.

"I need to leave, I am a second from breaking down and I don't want you to see me like that," I snapped at Mona not meaning too.

"Why not Emily? Would it be so terrible for me to see you vulnerable?"

"No. I, I just have to go," I turned away from Mona and started to reopen her window. Climbing out of Mona's window, I intended to jump across to the tree straight away but I felt Mona grab onto my arm to make me face her again.

"Emily, did you know I am an Amy Winehouse fan?"

I looked at Mona and replied with "No I didn't."

"Yeah, my Mum loved her music and had me start to listen to it."

I replied with "That's nice, but I don't understand why you are telling me this."

Mona spoke "I don't know what it's like to lose your parents, my Dad bailed on my Mum before I was born and I still have my Mum. The thought of losing my Mum scares me, it terrifies me. Seeing you hurt make me feel guilty because I take the moments with my Mum for granted, I never realised that some people grew up not even knowing their parents."

"Or terrified you'd never hear the word Emmy again, or get that hug from them after a long time away," I said voicing the fears I had as a kid.

Mona said "I don't know what I am meant to say to you, I just I feel so useless right now."

I replied with "You are helping more than you know. It's a difficult situation I am in, it'd be hard being in a relationship with me at the moment and I would understand if you wanted to break it off."

"That's not what I want at all Emily, I just want to help you but I don't know how to."

"Love me Mona, that's all I need."

Mona said "I can do that," I smiled at Mona and leant backwards to kiss her on the lips.

Sighing I say "I need to head home, I think I heard Hanna planning for us to do something special today."

"Okay, are we okay?"

"We are the closest thing to perfect Mona as we can get, since perfect just doesn't existed." After I finished speaking I jumped across onto the tree and was grateful for being able to grab a brunch that quickly.

Mona said "Emily, you could've used the door."

"I could've but this was a lot cooler."

"That's true, call me later today?"

"Yeah, okay. I'm sorry for being all weird with you," I say looking at her completely sorry for snapping at her and backing out from opening up to her.

"It's okay Emily, I know some days are going to be harder than others I'm not naïve but I am here if you need me."

"Thanks beautiful," I blew a kiss to Mona before climbing down the tree knowing she was watching with a batted breath as I climbed down. Reaching the ground I looked up at Mona who was looking down at me, I blew a kiss back up to her before starting my route home and optioning to take a much longer route home.

Walking into the town square I saw Jenna walking out of the store carrying the sign saying what the special were and then she head back inside to continue opening up. Heading across toward the small coffee shop careful of any cars that maybe travelling but most people in town won't be awake for another thirty minutes to an hour; I hadn't realised I had stay at Mona's from nearly three hours. Pushing the coffee shop door open, it was empty of costumers and workers telling me Jenna out the back doing something to get ready or just waiting for costumers and she might not have heard me walk in.

Ringing the bell that they had on the counter, I heard rustling sound before Jenna voice shouted "I'm coming!"

Jenna soon walked out and smiled when she saw it was me standing there, she asked "What are you doing here?"

"I was having trouble sleeping," I replied.

Jenna asked "Is everything okay?"

"Hopefully, the letter about my parents I hadn't open it yet and well that was bothering me."

"Oh, I hadn't realised you hadn't open yours yet."

"I just wasn't ready to read about it, but my mind wouldn't shut off about it. I didn't want to read it by myself, Hanna and her Mum were asleep and I decided to head to my girlfriend's house."

"Girlfriend? That's new."

I replied with "Yeah, I mean I know I'm still really messed up about my parents being killed but I can't lose another person and I don't want to lose Mona. She understands that it's going to take a while for me to really start being okay, but she wants be with and we are going to try."

"That's good of you to at least try. Did you open the letter?"

"Yeah it was powerful stuff."

"It certainly is that," Jenna said knowing exactly how I was feeling.

I say "It's really good having a person going through what I'm going through. My friends have been the best but I don't know what to say to them, I want to tell them I'll be okay but I don't know how long until that will be."

"Yeah, it is good but sucks at the same time because we are bonding over losing our Dads," I nod my head and start thinking about my Dad.

Hearing the brew door open which rang the bell, Jenna said "Hi, how may I help you?" turning to look I was surprised to see Spencer standing there.

I asked "What are you doing at this time of the morning?"

"Could ask you same thing Em? In all my years of knowing you I've never known you to be up at this hour on a Saturday morning, noon if we are lucky."

"I like to sleep, I don't see the problem."

"It's not a problem unless we have a sleepover at your place on a Friday night."

"Hanna sleeps way later than I do," I replied with trying to defend my hours of sleep I have on Saturdays.

Spencer replied with "You are both as bad as each other and you both know it."

Jenna laughed and said "You guys seemed to have crazy times."

I replied with "Yeah, it is always entertaining at our sleepovers. Speaking of which, we haven't had one in ages, which is just not right."

Spencer said "Definitely a crime, I'll arrange something with the girls."

"Cool, Jenna you should come to our next one it'll be super fun I promise."

"I don't know," Jenna replied with while looking at Spencer wearily.

I say "Don't worry about Spencer, just because she is a Hastings doesn't mean she like her parents."

Jenna asked "Really?"

I replied with "No she a lot worse than them," I cracked up laughing at Spencer face and laughed even harder when she punched me in the shoulder.

Spencer said "I hate you so much right now."

"No you love me, everyone loves me," I said while saying and Spencer groaned knowing it was the truth.

Spencer asked "What are you even doing up?"

I replied with "I couldn't sleep, Hanna and Ashley were asleep and there was kind of one person I really wanted to see."

"Mona," Spencer said.

"Yeah, I just went to her place and we talked."

Spencer asked "And you're not still there because?"

I answered with "You know how freaked Hanna would be if I'm not there when she wakes up and she said something about planning something special for us to do today."

"She just care Em," Spencer replied with.

"I know she does and it's incredible sweet, what she and Ashley have done for me is unbelievable."

Spencer said "As you said before everyone loves you Emily, it's kind of hard not to love you."

"I am pretty loveable," I smiled and laugh at Spencer rolling her eyes.

I asked "What are you doing up?"

Spencer answered with "Dad and I were going to go to the country club to play tennis with some of his clients, but he forget and had to leave last night for business in Toronto."

"Since when does he have business there?"

"Beats me, you know how I am when he starts talking business."

"Yeah, I get it but that doesn't explain why you are here and not in bed sleeping?"

Spencer replied with "I thought I'd come get some coffee and brain food before hitting my books."

"Spencer you do not need to study, the knowledge you know is enough to scare anyone to let you into college and you've been ready for college when I was still using my colouring books."

"I am not scary thank-you very much," Spencer said defensively.

"You are too Spencer, as a person who loves you deeply you are not studying today."

Spencer whined with "But."

"No buts Spence, you are coming back to my place and you are relaxing. Don't make me hit you," I added when Spencer went to complain.

"Jez you are the bossiest person I know and I grew up with Melissa, as well as other Hastings. Am I allowed to get myself a coffee or is that not allowed?"

I replied with "Don't make me put you over my knee and spank you because I will," I was joking which Spencer knew by the smile on her face.

"I love you Emily Fields."

"I know you do Spence."

Jenna said "Okay your friendship is very weird," Spencer and I smiled at each other.

I replied with "That may be true but I wouldn't change it for a thing," I wrapped one arm around Spencer neck and pull her closer to me.

"Ew, when was your last shower?" Spencer asked pushing me away from her.

"I don't know, I don't keep track maybe two days go?"

"Ew and you touch me."

"Calm down Spencer, it was yesterday. I've just been walking and climbing up trees."

Jenna asked "Why were you climbing a tree?"

I replied with "It's how I got to see Mona, she has a tree right outside her window."

"Why not just use the front door?" Spencer asked confused.

"Oh, I'm sure her Mum would love me ringing her doorbell at three in the morning."

Jenna said "You could've called Mona's phone for her to come let you in."

I replied with "I could've but climbing the tree was more fun and romantic to in away," I smiled at the end.

Spencer said "Watch out the love doctor has moved to town," I shake my head at Spencer as she orders her coffee and two donuts. As we waited for Spencer's coffee we just stood around talking, joking and just really having a good time.

Jenna turned around to us while saying "Here you go Spencer. Now Emily, my Mum really wants you to come over to dinner."

After Spencer said her thank-yous, I say "Okay, I'm free this week Wednesday?"

"Wednesday, sounds great," Jenna replied with while getting her phone out probably to text her Mum.

Jenna said "We will talk Monday about the details but you should get going before Hanna wakes up, and then starts freaking out because she can't find you."

I replied with "Right, I'll see you at school on Monday," I smile up at Jenna as she hands me a chocolate donut in a paper bag.

"How much?" I asked.

Jenna answered with "It's on the house just make sure you come to school on Monday and then come to my place for dinner," I nodded my head before saying my goodbyes and leading Spencer out of the café.

"Can I ask for a favour?" I ask Spencer as we stand next to her car which had been parked out front of the café.

"You can ask," Spencer wittily replies with.

Smiling, I say "Can you drive my donut to Hanna's place please."

"You want me to escort your donut, why can't you do it you'll be in the car with me and your donut?"

"I need to run, so that's what I am going to do and it's hard to run with a donut in your hand."

Spencer replied with "That is true, okay I'll take it for you."

"Thanks, I'll see you there," I ramble out while shoving the paper bag with my donut into her capable hand and then I take off running.

Hearing Spencer yell behind me "It's not a race Emily," I paused to look back at her with my cheeky smile, she knew it was suddenly a race by my face and we both speed up our pace.