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Rory met Jess on the subway steps. His hair lilted gently in the breeze, hands in his pockets, his favourite stance, but as he saw Rory approach he moved towards her, his slanted smile lighting his face.

"Hey."

"Hey," Rory replied, smiling herself. She had gone directly from her apartment, changing hastily into a summer dress, and still felt a little sticky from the drive and summer heat. Rory folded her hands, not wanting to wipe them on her skirt, but Jess didn't seem to notice and grinned.

"Right on time, Courtney."

"Well, I try, Kurt."

Rory mounted the rest of the steps to meet him in the sun and Jess remarked,

"Not that punctuality was ever an issue for you. I seem to remember a hot-tempered message on my answerphone about that."

Rory stared in confusion until memory hit and her mouth dropped open.

"Oh my God."

"Or rather, Luke's machine," Jess grinned and Rory groaned, feeling her face flush.

"I never knew you listened to that. I asked you to delete it before you got home!"

"Yeah me, not Luke," Jess retorted. "I got home that night to see my uncle with a very puzzled expression. He said there was a message from me, and he thought it was from you, though you were talking so fast he wasn't sure. I didn't have any doubt."

Rory looked away, knowing her face was scarlet.

"You never told me you heard it."

"You were embarrassed about it," Jess said. "You didn't want me to hear it."

Rory nodded, silent, and Jess added,

"I did try and call more."

"That's right," Rory said, lifting her head and managing a smile. "You did."

They looked shyly at each other until a harried looking woman ran down the steps, pushing them out of her way with a cry of annoyance. Rory giggled in relief, feeling oddly adolescent.

"Maybe we should go back to my apartment."

"Yeah, this isn't the place for conversation," Jess agreed. "Not for commuters, anyway."

They walked awkwardly back down the steps, hands almost brushing, and sat together in the tight subway car. It was hot, packed with people, and Rory concentrated on not letting her arm or leg touch Jess's, before shaking herself with annoyance. She was hardly eighteen anymore.

"You okay?"

Rory jumped and looked around at Jess who clarified,

"You were frowning."

"Oh – I'm just hot," Rory said quickly and he nodded, turning back around. Rory sat up straighter and carefully glanced across at Jess. He was sitting up straight as well, palms in his lap and his legs were stretched out. He was staring directly in front of him but Rory thought she could detect a thoughtful look about him, in the corner of his eyes. Everyone told her her eyes were beautiful, deep and blue, but Rory thought Jess's were too. They were a soft, liquid brown which looked almost golden in the light and made Rory feel open. She felt laid bare when she reached his gaze, that he could see through her, and she was staring so intently that she jumped when the train screeched into a station.

"That's our stop," she said hastily, getting to her feet, glad of the commotion around them. Jess nodded, close behind her, and Rory hurried into the platform, her body in automatic pilot. She practically ran up the stairs and turned to see Jess catching up, a few steps behind.

"Jeez," he panted. "And to think you once asked me if you could take food on the subway."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Rory laughed, waiting for him to catch up, and he said,

"It means you're not an out-of-towner anymore."

"I don't know about that," Rory said, leading them out onto the street. "I don't feel like a New Yorker. I never have."

"No, but you can work the subway."

"That sounds dirty."

Jess shook his head, grinning, and said,

"And your mother would be proud. Luke was always complaining about how she liked to make everything sound dirty."

"Sounds like her."

"Luke always said you were more normal, but I don't believe him."

Rory smiled self-consciously and Jess mirrored her, suddenly shy.

"So I can work the subway," Rory said, turning the subject back. "Everyone can if they live here long enough. I have to, if I want to get to work on time."

"You mean fifteen minutes early."

"On time," Rory said again. "And yes, I like to get there early."

"Now that hasn't changed."

They walked in a companionable silence down the street, stopping at a food cart to get slices of pizza, which Rory carried carefully back in napkins.

"You're not eating it now?" Jess asked and Rory shook her head.

"It'll fall on the street. I'd waste half of it, I want to save it."

"Maybe you're not so New York after all," Jess teased and Rory rolled her eyes at him. She noticed he saved his as well but didn't remark on it as they reached her apartment. Rory found the key in her purse, an old, rusted piece of metal which chafed her hands, and let them through. They headed up the stairs and into the flat. It was almost as sticky as the subway and Rory opened a window to try and lessen the humidity. Jess wiped a hand over his brow.

"Sorry," Rory said. "This apartment doesn't exactly come with air conditioning."

"Neither does mine," Jess said, stretching. "Not like your grandparents', right? You were there today."

"Oh, they have air con," Rory said, going over to the table where she'd put the pizza. "And pitchers of iced lemonade."

"That sounds pretty good. I'm guessing you don't have that either."

Rory shook her head.

"I have half a bottle of soda which went flat last week."

"I think I'm good."

"I think I am, too," Rory said and they grinned at each other. Jess picked up his pizza and Rory followed suit.

"So how are the Gilmores?"

"They're good. Same as they always are. Grandpa gave me same early translations of Voltaire."

"That's cool."

"Yeah. I don't know when I'm going to have time to read them though," Rory said morosely. "There's always something I haven't finished."

Jess nodded and Rory opened her mouth, about to tell him about seeing her portrait and strange sadness she'd felt, but when he looked up and asked,

"What?" she shook her head and put the last of the pizza in her mouth.

"Nothing."

They finished their pizza in silence and then Jess asked,

"Can I see your books?"

"Sure," Rory said, wiping her mouth with the napkin. "It's why you came."

"Right," Jess agreed, sounding amused, and Rory bent down, opening drawers.

"What are you doing?" he asked, frowning, and Rory grinned.

"You wanted to see my books. I hardly use this space for baking trays."

Jess grinned too, bending down to join her. Rory pulled out the bottom drawer to show books piled three layers deep, heavy biographies and books on politics, with lighter books in the drawers above.

"There's novels in my bedroom," Rory said. "If you want to see?"

"You know it."

Rory returned his smile and then quickly got to her feet, embarrassed. Ignoring the cramp in her legs she led the way into her shoebox of a bedroom. The space was mostly taken up by her bed, which had a map of the world above it, but there was a closet in the corner and a small desk. Rory opened the drawers of it to show Jess the books in there and how they were stored under the bed and on the top shelf on the closet.

"I'd use the bathroom," Rory said, sitting on the bed, "but it's so damp in there the pages would warp."

Jess nodded, turning his attention to the CD stand.

"I might be taking some of these as well."

"Thief," Rory teased. "I thought you wanted my books."

"I wanted to see them," Jess returned. "And besides, how do you know I don't have one already?"

"I guess I'll find out if one gets mysterious notes in the margins."

"I guess so."

Rory smiled at him. Jess's eyes looked warm, reflecting light from the window, and she felt the blush she'd got on the subway start to tint her cheeks. Rory leapt to her feet.

"Bookstore."

"What?"

"We said we'd got to a bookstore," Rory said with deliberation. "We said we'd get pizza and go to a bookstore and we didn't – go to a bookstore, I mean."

"Yeah, I got that," Jess said, confused. "We can, if you want."

"I thought you'd always want to go to a bookstore," Rory said, folding her arms. "You don't want to?"

"No, it's just – we're here now. The bookstore I wanted to show you is on the other side of town."

"Oh," Rory said, loosening her arms. "Okay."

"Do you really want to go back? We could make it before it shuts."

"No, I'm tired," Rory said honestly. "Let's stay here. It'd be dumb just go there as it's getting ready to close. Do you want some coffee?"

"Sure."

Rory went into the kitchen, Jess behind her, and started making it. She bent over the sink to fill the jug, wishing her blush away, and only looked up when Jess asked,

"Need some help?"

"It's a pretty straightforward operation."

Rory put the percolator on and he chuckled. The short while it took to prepare felt twice as long as normal and Rory sighed as she poured out their cups, taking them over to the couch where Jess was sitting.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome."

They sipped silently, Rory's leg brushing Jess's where the couch dipped, and she jumped as he asked,

"So you were at your grandparents' all day?"

"Just the afternoon. I went to work before that."

"You didn't stop off at Stars Hollow?"

"I wasn't in the mood."

Jess nodded and, although he didn't ask, Rory explained,

"I didn't feel like seeing my mom."

"How come?"

"I just didn't," Rory said. She sipped again and elaborated,

"I guess I know why. I didn't want to talk to her about work. She wouldn't have understood."

"You mean how you're tired of it?"

"She'd understand not wanting to be somewhere anymore," Rory said carefully. "The part she wouldn't understand is me staying."

There was a pause and Jess asked,

"Do you want to leave?"

"I don't know," Rory said heavily. "I don't feel excited about working there like I did before, but it's a good job. I have an apartment here, I have an income. There are hardly tons of jobs at newspapers right now. I can't just quit."

"Have you looked for anything new?"

"No," Rory said. "I haven't felt very excited about that idea."

There was a pause and Rory said,

"I know what you're thinking."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. You think I should do it. It's not that easy, Jess. I can't just leave, it's not like before – there's barely anything new. Respect that."

Rory spoke more loudly than she intended, thumping down her cup and Jess said,

"Can I tell you what I do think?"

Rory nodded, a little embarrassed, and he said,

"That's not the whole reason."

"What do you mean?"

"It's true, what you said, but I think you're scared of starting over."

"You mean I don't want to?"

"I mean, you get nervous of new things. I know you. When you were getting ready for college you prepared as much as you could."

"Everyone needs preparation," Rory said weakly but Jess said,

"You're scared of screwing it up. Like when you –"

"Don't!" Rory said sharply, cutting him off. "I do not want to talk about that, Jess. I don't want to talk about when I dropped out of Yale."

"Okay," Jess said, not pretending that he was going to say something different. "But I think that even if you are scared, you could do it. You can fix things. You've always known what you wanted."

"That was a long time ago," Rory said, her heart thumping and Jess said simply,

"You're still you."

Rory hesitated. Jess was looking into her eyes, his gaze locked and she couldn't speak. His hip brushed hers, as well as his leg, and he leaned closer as he said,

"I know you, Rory."

Rory didn't try to agree or contradict. She stared back, yearning, leaning closer, and then their lips were brushing, uncertain, starting to kiss. Jess's lips were warm, his mouth tasting of the coffee she'd made, but as Rory closed her eyes and Jess moved his hand to her back she leapt up, breaking away and breathing heavily.

"Oh my God!"

"Rory –"

"This can't happen," she said ignoring Jess as he said,

"What can't?"

"Please go," Rory said, turning back round. "I can't."

"I'm sorry," Jess started to say but she shook her head blindly and said,

"Don't be sorry just ,please, just go. Please, Jess."

He got to his feet, staring at her and Rory stared back, ignoring the rush in her mind.

"Okay," he said quietly. "I'll call you."

He let himself out. Rory waited and then went over to the window to watch him leave. He looked up, as she knew he would, but he didn't linger. He looked back for a moment until Rory broke her gaze and then, when she looked again, he'd gone. Rory went into her bedroom and lay on the bed, her heart bounding. Jess had sat there so recently she could see the crease and she smoothed it out with her hand, closing her eyes as the sun set around her, leaving shadows on her face.