Sam walked down the steps from her bedroom at around 10. Her hair was down and she was wearing jeans and a loose sweater that she threw on. She smiled at the thought of Brooke rolling her eyes at her outfit, then frowned when she remembered her mother complimenting Liz on her "classy" style.
It was almost midday, and she didn't want to be bothered. She figured she'd just let Lucas know she was heading to Southside, and hopefully he'd leave her to do so. She was in no mood to try and delve into what happened yesterday. Sam was embarrassed that they found out about everything, and angry that they were on the verge of punishing her, worse, spanking her, without first letting her talk. Well, at least that's how she saw it.
The room was quiet, which meant that Luke was probably in the kitchen, Sam sighed a bit and made her way over. Honestly, she would rather just leave, but that wouldn't be very wise of her.
Luke heard Sam coming in and he looked up from his playbook, sadly without Brooke at his side.
She had left in the morning to "run errands," a bit deflated that Sam was still asleep. Brooke was hoping she could talk to her, and it was also her week to take her, but wasn't sure if Sam would agree to that right now.
When she walked into her room, she noticed Sam's thumb was in her mouth and it just broke Brooke's heart to know that her little girl felt so vulnerable. Usually she just chewed on the tip of her blanket, but would revert to her thumb when things got rough. Brooke brought up the covers that had long been thrown off and tucked them around her girl. She then sat on the bed and ran her hand over Sam's hair a couple times and watched her daughter sleep, her breath gently lifting her chest up and down. "Morning Sammy." Brooke whispered to the sleeping teen.
Sam instinctively cuddled into the comforting presence that was next to her. "Mom."She mumbled just barely out of her dreams.
"Shhh. Go back to sleep." Brooke whispered, although by then the girl was already completely gone once more.
Brooke smiled sadly, at least in her dreams she sought her mother out. Brooke watched her young daughter for a few more minutes, and seriously thought about opting out of talking with Liz and instead jumping into the covers with Sam to just cuddle with her. But, for one, Sam would probably be unhappy to be next to her mom at the moment when she awoke, and two she needed to talk things out with Liz.
Brooke felt her phone buzz. Sighing at the disturbance she kissed her daughter's temple, "I love you sweetie." She whispered. Slowly she got up from the bed, and hoped with all her heart that Sam didn't resent her for how things turned out.
Lucas looked kindly at his daughter, maybe even a little wearily, "Sweetheart, hi."
Sam pulled at her sleeve, "Hey...where's Brooke and your mom?" Her voice was timid.
"Your mom went to run some errands, and my mom left back home."
"Oh." Sam felt a little sad about that. She had really enjoyed Karen's presence.
Lucas took notice, "She's not traveling anymore. So she'll be around a lot more. Her house is only 45 minutes from here."
Sam nodded, "Oh, okay. Cool." She hesitated, "Um, I just wanted to tell you that I'm heading to Southside. If that's okay with you." She looked up and bit her lip.
"Yeah champ, of course. But be back by seven."
Sam's head shot up, defense's suddenly up, "Wait, why?"
"It's a school night and we have to talk about yesterday." Luas started.
"No we don't." Sam retorted, "And my curfew is nine on school nights."
"Yes, we do. And curfew is subject to change." Lucas sat up and turned stern, "Your mother will come by around six and you will be here at seven." He didn't want to be stern, especially now aware of how hurt Sam was, but he also would not let her take advantage of that. "I know you don't want to, but this is happening."
Sam's fists tightened, "You and Brooke sitting down and talking to me isn't gonna change the fact that any of this happened. That you guys didn't believe me, that Ashley was a jerk, and Liz cheated yet I was the one being punished for it." Sam's emotions got the better of her, "None of that will change." Her voice cracked and she took a sharp breath.
Lucas stood up, "Sweetheart." His voice dripped with concern. Sam took a step back, "I-I mean...I-I'm going now."
"Samantha, wait!" Lucas called after.
She turned to look at him.
"It won't change the past but it'll help us move forward baby."
Her pokerface was dangerously close to crumbling.
"Six o' clock. Don't be late." He sighed, aware that Sam would not say anything more.
He saw her roll her eyes and leave without saying one more word.
… …. …
Brooke knocked on the closed door in front of her. It took a minute but she finally heard the voice of her niece, "Come in." Came the meek voice.
Brooke found the teen laying on her side, looking very guilty. When she saw it was her aunt she immediately sat up. The slight wince and shifting wasn't lost on Brooke. Poor Lizzie had gotten spanked. But Brooke knew it was well deserved so she did her best to hide the sympathy.
"Aunt Brooke I-"
Brooke lifted her hand up to silence her, "I don't want to hear it. You will only speak to answer my questions. Got it?"
Liz hung her head and nodded.
"I can't hear you, Elizabeth. I asked you a question." Brooke went over and sat next to her.
"Yes m'am." Liz responded realizing her Aunt was more angry with her than she had ever seen her. Gulp.
Brooke took a deep breath. She was angry. Yesterday. But that had melted into disappointment, maybe even sadness.
She stayed quiet as she watched Liz who shifted and squirmed under her glare. "Your mom told me you didn't sleep much last night. Why is that?" Of course she knew why.
Liz folded her hands on her lap and focused on them, "I felt really bad, and still do. I, um, I know you're mad at me, I know Sam hates me. And I know that I deserve it." Her tears now started to fall again and she did her best to wipe them away.
"Mhm." Brooke wouldn't offer her any compassion yet, "I was furious with you yesterday."
Liz's lip quivered at her aunt's words.
"You knew what you did was wrong. I know you knew it because your mother taught you better. I'm not blaming you for what Ashley said. But I am blaming you for the cheating. You did it twice young lady. You manipulated her. You used my daughter for your own benefit. That, Liz, is what kills me."
Liz was about to say something but Brooke stopped her, "No, don't say a thing. I'm talking and you will listen."
This caused Liz to cry even harder, "But Aunt Brooke-"
"No." Brooke was adamant. "Now calm down because I'm not done."
She waited a minute or two for Liz to calm her self.
"I know your mom punished you, and I know she's forgiven you." She took a moment to see if the girl was looking at her, "And I need you to look at me for this part Elizabeth."
Liz nodded and reluctantly looked at her aunt in the eyes, "Good." Brooke said. She put a hand on her niece' knee, "And I want you to know that after this I'll forgive you too. Okay? But one thing that won't happen after this is the gain of my trust. You lost that. Understood?"
Liz's eyes were pouring over again, "I'm so sorry!" She sobbed, "C-can I get it back? I don't want you to hate me!"
Brooke shook her head, "I can never hate you Liz. You are my family. I watched you grow up. I love you sweet girl. You messed up, and I'm disappointed in you but I can never hate you. You lost my trust, but that doesn't mean I'll ever stop loving you."
"W-waht about Sam?" Liz asked wiping her nose in the tissue Brooke handed her.
Brooke gave a deep sigh, "You really hurt her, and I don't blame her for the anger she might be feeling. Sam doesn't trust most people Liz. It took Lucas and I months to get her to trust us, and even now she still has her moments. Yet, she trusted you, and you took advantage of that. Twice! You broke her trust twice. She was willing to go to the ends of the earth if it meant being friends with you, but you seemed to throw that away for what? A good grade?"
Liz just cried at her Aunt's harsh words. Brooke was laying it on thick and Liz's disconsolate tears were letting her know that she was truly feeling the weight of it. Broke stopped and restrained herself. The girl had had enough.
She sighed "Come here Liz." She opened her arms and Liz fell into them and sobbed.
Brooke rocked her, "Lizzie." She cooed, "I don't mean this to upset you even further, but you need to know your actions have consequences. Sam is not like you. She's been hurt so much."
"And I hurt her again!" Liz cried.
"Shhh. No more tears sweetie." Brooke said holding her tighter, "Show her it was a mistake. Be a reliable friend baby."
"Auntie Brooke I'm sorry!" Liz clung to her aunt,
"I know you are. But you need to tell Sam this, when she's ready."
Brooke held the girl until she fell asleep in her arms. Her fitful sleep the night before had left her exhausted. Rebecca walked in and saw her daughter in Brooke's arms, dried tears on her face.
"My little cheater cried herself to sleep, I see." Rebecca said sighing as she sat on the bed and gently moved Liz into her arms so Brooke could get up.
Brooke watched Liz, now in her mother's arms. "She feels horrible about this whole thing Becky."
Rebecca gave her daughter's bottom a couple soft pats, "I know. But she needs to understand what she did."
There was a silence before Rebecca spoke again, "Thank you Brooke. For talking to her and forgiving her."
Brooke shook her head, "Don't thank me. I love her. She made a mistake and I can tell she regrets it completely. She'll just have to deal with the repercussions. But I'm glad she's asleep, she seemed pretty tired."
Rebecca smiled, "I'm glad you got her to sleep. God knows she needs a nap. I didn't have the heart to scold her for crankiness after the spanking I gave her yesterday."
Brooke just chuckled softly, "Anytime Becks."
Yes, Brooke knew, a tired child was no fun.
….. ….. ….. …..
Jack sat on his desk chair and stayed silent while Tamara comforted Sam on his bed. The plan was to go to Southside and have fun, but things got really serious when he asked Sam if she was okay before they left. It was like he broke her, and Tamara had to nudge him off her so she could take over.
Tamara held Sam close to her after Sam had finished explaining everything that had happened between Ashley and Liz. Tamara, if no one else, understood the depths of her insecurities. And if Sam wanted to be upset, then damn it, let her be upset! But what worried her was what Sam would want to do next.
"I wanna go talk to Joan." Sam said sitting up. This perked Jack up and caused Tamara to clear her throat.
"Sam." Tamara tried to choose her words carefully, "That's, that's not, I mean...are you sure?"
Jack, however wasn't so careful, "That's stupid Sam. You're just gonna get hurt."
Sam shook her head adamantly, "I have to! I, I need to know what I did. She's the one that said she loved me. I almost considered her my mom! But then she chose him over me. And she'll be able to tell me why! There has to be a reason. I, I don't want Brooke and Lucas to believe what Ashley said and I know they don't now, but if I could just prevent it from happening, and my best bet is to ask Joan! She'll know."
Tamara looked at her frustrated, "Sammy, Joan was a bitch. You didn't do anything, it's her own damn faul-"
Sam stood up, "No." Her tears welled up, "She told me she loved me. She said I was her daughter. I, I believed her! I must've done something! She used to hold me at night. She-she used to be like a mom to me, and i don't know what I did. And I just need to know, so I won't do it with Brooke and Lucas!"
Jack rubbed his face with hands, "Well you can't go alone." He said sighing, knowing that Sam would do this with or without them.
"Will you guys come with me?" She asked her friends
Tamara rolled her eyes, "Fine. But you talk to her once and that's it. No more follow ups or something stupid like that. Your parents are going to kill us if they find out."
"As long as I'm back by seven, they won't."
Jack gave Sam a quick hug, "You can't keep doing this to yourself." He whispered in her ear as they walked out. But Sam needed this. Why Joan chose Mike over her would play in her mind until she met Brooke and Lucas.
Tamara and Jack both squeezed her hand, "You're ready?" Jack asked.
"Yeah." Sam nodded.
She knocked on the door and waited for the familiar unlock of the deadbolt from the inside. It had been two years since she'd been there and it still remained eerily the same. Except for Mike. The last time she talked to Joan she promised Sam she had left him.
In front of the teens stood a tired looking woman with brown frazzled hair. You could tell at one point she was very beautiful, but somewhere across the many bumps in the road her shine had gone away. She was wearing faded jeans and an old flannel shirt covered a white tanktop and loosely hung on her.
Joan's heart skipped a beat when she saw Sam standing in front of her.
"Samantha what, why, what are you doing here?" She looked out to see who else was there aside from her and the two friends she recognized, but it was just them.
Joan bit her lip, 'Should I do this? This is not good at all.' She thought as she stared at the teens, still only holding the door half open.
Her curiosity and the feeling of love and familiarity she had for Sam got the best of her, "Come inside, please come inside." She told the three when no answer came from them. She directed them to the living room.
Sam was in awe, everything looked exactly the same. Not even the magazines on the stand next to the couch had changed.
"Nothing's been moved" She remarked.
Joan gave her a half hearted smile. It pained Sam's heart because that was the smile she always donned when she lived with her and a wave of nostalgia hit her. Sam tried to shake it off but being inside the house she had grown to love, then hate was making it really difficult.
Joan sat down on the sofa in front of them, "Sam, you know it's so nice to see you. You look very well. But is there something wrong? Why are you here?"
Sam looked at her friends then back at the woman, "I, umm, well I just want an answer to a question I've had, that's it. And thanks, you look good too." That last part was really a formality. Sam wondered if Joan had always looked so wasted away and she just only started noticing it.
Joan nodded, "O-okay."
This girl was her daughter for all intents and purposes. 'Was your daughter.' She reminded herself, 'You left her. You abandoned her.' She fought back the lump in her throat.
Sam wasn't sure how to just say it. 'Do it, idiot.' came her inner voice. 'This is your only chance, don't be a wuss.'
She wrung her hands together, "I, um, I don't really know how to say this."
Joan looked at the clock above her and felt her nerves heighten. Shit, Mike would be home soon.
"Just say it Sam." She snapped.
Tamara gave the woman a fierce glare. Sam frowned at the sharpness of her words.
"Okay, I," She gulped and closed her eyes, then opened them and let the dam break, "I just wanna know why, why you left me. Why you defended Mike." She sniffled before composing herself and looking up at the woman, "I want to know what I did wrong."
Joan gave a deep sigh. She couldn't do this. Why did she let her in?! It was a mistake to have done so in the first place.
"Sam, please, I'm not doing this." Her voice was quiet but it pleaded Sam to not fight her on this.
Jack looked to Tamara. Great, now they'd have to deal with the aftermath of this.
Sam shook her head madly. No, she had to tell her. She was desperate. It could be anything.
"Joan please tell me! I just want to know what I did." Her voice was thick with emotion.
"Samantha, please leave." Joan said now standing up.
"But why!?" Sam cried, "I loved you! What did I do to make you stop loving me? Just tell me Joan. Please."
"Sam, I can't do this. Get up and leave. You can't be here anymore."
Sam gave in and asked whatever she thought it could've been. Every one of her nuances was up for debate.
"Was it because I wet the bed sometimes?! I know I did it a lot." Sam had a sense of urgency dripping in her words. "Was it the way I couldn't sleep without Barry and my blanket? Or was I too sarcastic?" The tears were streaming down her cheeks, "Did I ask too many questions? Was I obnoxious when I ate? Brooke always gets on me about eating too fast and taking huge bites. Was that it? Was I too needy? Too annoying? Is it because I always wanted to be held at night?" Samantha was quickly becoming hysterical.
Joan was now letting some tears fall, "Sammy." She croaked.
"What the hell did I do Joan? You have to tell me! You just have to! Joan please."
Joan reached over and grabbed both Sam's arms, "You did nothing Sam." She wiped the tears from the girl's cheeks, "Stop crying Sam. Please stop." She pulled her into a hug. Sam remembered her hugs, but for some reason this hug didn't fulfill her, not the way Brooke's and Lucas's did.
Joan let her go and looked her in the eyes, "Not one thing about you made me give you up."
"But why did you do it then?" Sam asked. She just needed an answer.
How could Joan explain this to her without completely destroying her?
"Sweetheart-"
Sam pulled away, "Don't call me that!" Those words were reserved for her family. Joan was shaken by Sam's sudden resistance, but she deserved it and she knew it.
"Sam." She corrected herself, "I, I had to let you go because I couldn't take care of you without Mike. And yes, Mike was sick for what he did to you. But the option to leave him and stay with you just wasn't a choice I could make. I-I was dependent on him."
"But why couldn't you try? I told you I wanted to stay with you." Sam's piercing eyes and innocence was only hurting the woman further.
"I-I don't know Sam. I'm just...weak. I couldn't do that. But I know it wasn't anything you did."
She looked at the clock once more and panicked. "I'm sorry Sam, but you have to go."
"Why?" Sam asked furiously clearing her tears.
Joan went over and pulled up the other two teens, "Leave now, all of you."
Sam crossed her arms, "At least tell me why we have to go."
She sighed knowing this wouldn't go over well, "Mike will be home from work in a few minutes."
Sam's eyes widened, "You told me you left him!" She roared.
She felt Jack pull her, "Sammy come on. Let's go."
Sam, weak with emotions allowed herself to be pulled. But her gaze never left Joan who watched them walk away.
"I'm sorry Sam. I just can't. I'm weak. I can't."
Sam stopped following her friends, "I loved you." She told the woman with tears streaming down her face, "This whole time I thought Mike messed me up. But it was also you."
Sam's eyes then widened with sudden realization. This woman, who was practically her mother could never actually love her the way her parents now do, "You never loved me." Sam's voice was calmer, resigned even, "Not like a real parent can. You never did. Right?"
Joan ran a hand through her frazzled hair, "Leave Sam! LEAVE!"
"I'm right, aren't I?"
"LEAVE NOW! I'll call the police. I swear I will!" The woman yelled.
"Sam." Tamara whispered, "Let's go." She wrapped her arm around her shoulders and walked Sam out.
Joan let out a sob before turning away. The woman heard the door close and let herself slide down to the floor.
Sam decided she had cried enough and instead steeled her emotions. Why waste tears on someone that could never return the love she had given?
"Sammy." Jack spoke to her kindly.
"I'm fine." She muttered unconvincingly.
As they crossed the street the three of them caught sight of Mike on the other side of the street. Sam stiffened. "Guys." Her voice filled with urgency, stopping in her tracks.
Mike crossed the street toward the crew. His eyes filled with glee.
"Well, well if it isn't little Sammy." He blocked their movement.
Tamara took a step in front of Sam, "Back off Mike. Let us cross the stupid street."
"Well at least let me touch-" He extended his hand to caress Sam's cheek, but Jack caught his arm and threw it down. Sam winced prepared to feel his touch.
He laughed, "I know where I'm not wanted. You're not gonna at least say hi to me Sammy baby?"
Sam reached his terrifying eyes once more, "I hate you." She spit, "I HATE you."
He held his heart in fake pain, "Well now I regret ever being kind to you. Maybe I should've slapped you around more and you would've learned respect."
"Can we cross?" Jack asked in more of a demand.
He moved, "Bye bye Sammy baby. I'm sure I'll see you again. Looks like you can't leave these parts anyways."
Sam cringed but kept walking with her friends.
Tamara turned to her friend as they laid in the grass at the park. Sam's head was resting on Jack's legs, "What're you thinking Sam?"
"That I'm stupid for asking that dumb question. And she's with Mike still. I thought," Sam sighed and let her shoulders slump as she sat up. Jack then sat up too, "I thought after finding out what he did. I don't know she would've had the guts to leave him."
"She's weak. She said it." Jack told her, "Some people are just stupid like that. Ya know? Like they don't know what's good for them."
Tamara nodded in agreement, "Jack's right, she's the idiot. Not you."
Sam gave them a worried expression, "Do you think she's mad at me?"
"What does it matter?" Jack asked throwing some loose grass at Sam. Sam smiled at his playful gesture, throwing it back at him. "I don't know. I just, I said some things-"
"That she deserved to hear." Tamara said. Her face turned more serious, "We can't do this Sam. Not anymore. You can't do this. What happened between her and Mike and you, it's in the past. You gotta stop trying and rationalize it. You have to stop picking at your wound. You just have to admit to yourself that some pretty shitty stuff happened to you in that house and there was nothing you could've done. And if you think it'll help, tell your parents."
Jack turned to Tamara, surprised she had said that. He'd been telling Sam that, but coming from Tamara was definitely surprising. It meant she trusted Brooke and Lucas.
Sam raised her eyebrow.
"You heard me." Tamara spit, "I'm not saying do it." She shrugged, "Just if it'll help you."
"They'd kill him, and probably Joan too."
Jack shrugged, "I'm pretty sure they'd only do whatever you'd allow them. They care about you like that."
Sam laid back down on the grass, "I guess."
Jack laid next to her, "I'm sorry you had to see Mike."
Sam nodded, "I looked in his eyes." She thought back to her childhood and the way she focused on his eyes when he groped her, "I hate his eyes." She closed her own and tried to shake the image off.
"Hey." Jack pulled her close to him, "Forget it. Forget it. He can't do that stuff to you anymore. You've got two cool parents, well not so cool, more like bummer helicopter parents since apparently they tried to spank you." He said the last part with a smirk, and Sam laughed.
…. …. ...
It was 6:30 pm and Sam was sitting in Lucas's front yard leaning back on Brooke's car watching the other cars drive past the neighborhood. She wasn't sure what she was gonna do if her parents came out and saw her just chilling there. But she figured she'd deal with that if it came to it.
The embarrassment had shrunk away throughout the course of the day's events. Her anger with her parents seemed a little less after her past came bubbling up today. Talk about never forget where you come from. Sheesh! Was she upset at Liz and Ashley? Hell yeah. But now she just felt upset and sad. Hopefully their talk would be quick and she could escape to her room to fall asleep because thinking about today just made her want to sleep.
It was overwhelming her with emotions and she was tired of crying. 'Crybaby.' One of Mike's favorite words for her during one of their "sessions." She almost seethed when his husky, deep voice hit her once more.
Her head leaned back onto Brooke's car.
She thought back to Ashley's words and she shook her head. At some point in her life she was unloved; she was a charity case. At some point in her life she was all that Ashley said, but sitting in her dad's driveway, leaning on her mom's car, she somehow felt safe. Maybe those words didn't describe her anymore. Was she positive? Not 100%, but she couldn't deny how safe, how loved, how comfortable her life now was.
She checked her phone for the time. 6:46. She stood up and made her way inside.
Brooke was the first to hear the door click back into place. Lucas looked at her then nodded, "Sam we're in the dining room. Come in when you're ready!" He called out. They could hear her shuffling around, then take the steps upstairs.
"She's quiet. What if she's still mad? What if-"
"Babe." He put his hand on her arm, "Let her come down. She just got home."
Brooke nodded and leaned her back onto the chair and went back to her laptop, while Lucas read a book.
Fifteen minutes later Sam stepped in and took a seat in front of them without saying a word.
Brooke closed her laptop and Lucas put his book aside. "Thank you Sam, for listening and coming home on time."
Sam nodded feeling extremely self conscious.
"Sam we don't really know where to start with this. But we figured an apology on our part would be best." Brooke started.
Sam crossed her legs under the table and shifted, feeling nervous and wishing she could escape to her room.
"We're sorry champ. Sorry that we were going to punish you without letting you talk. Sorry that you've been in trouble for things that you shouldn't've been punished for. You were trying to be a good friend and we understand that. We wished you would've told us, but we understand it's complicated. Sweetheart we wish could go back and fix it. You didn't deserve it, and it hurts to see you so upset about it." Lucas waited to see if Sam would say something but she stayed quiet.
"Do you wanna say something Sammy?" Maybe she needed a little push.
Sam looked up at them, "I, umm, I don't want you guys to think what I'm gonna say is stupid."
"Everything you're feeling is valid honey. We could never think that." Brooke's voice comforted Sam and she gave a tug at her sleeves, "I, um, well I was mad, and embarrassed about everything. It just hurt to know that Liz was getting off scotch free every time and I wasn't and it hurt when Ashley would say things to me and I couldn't do anything about it."
Brooke leaned in, "But Sammy, sweetheart, I want you to know that you could've come to us with that. What Ashley told you, it breaks my heart to know you've had to deal with that alone. You could've told us."
Sammy bit her lip, "I didn't want you to think I was a loser, or worse, agree with her."
Brooke suddenly wished they were sitting on the couch so they could wrap her up, instead there was a wooden table in their way.
"Baby come here." Lucas called her over.
Sam's heart constricted. 'You went to Joan's when you have parents that care about you here.' Her inner voice told her.
Sam shook her head, feeling guilty, "No. Ummm, it's okay. I, it was stupid to think that, I know that now."
Lucas frowned, at her denial of affection. But he chalked it up to her still being mad at them, and so he wouldn't push it.
"Honey, you are everything I have ever wanted." Brooke spoke tenderly, "Dad and I, we can't live without you. And because of that, we can't stand when we don't know what's happening with you. It kills us. You need to tell us if she does this again. Because seeing you hurt is not fun, or easy, at all. And Sammy, know that Liz has been punished for what she did, and I want to apologize for somehow always ending up comparing you two. You are perfect just the way you are."
Sam sniffled a bit and wiped her nose, "Okay."
Lucas smiled sadly, "I know you're still mad Sammy. But know that we're here for you if you wanna talk some more or anything. And we want you to know that it's okay to be angry right now."
She nodded, "I guess I'm a little upset about everything, but I do love you guys though."
Lucas and Brooke couldn't hold their emotions, "Baby we love you too. So much." He added.
"Can I go upstairs?" She asked.
"It's mom's turn to take you, but if you want to stay that's fine. Just know that wherever you choose, we'll both be there."
Sam smiled at that, and it was wonderful for the parents to finally see her first genuine smile, "Why don't you guys just move in together?" She said with a small chuckle.
Brooke and Lucas looked at each other and gave a small smile that Sam didn't miss. Her eyes widened, "You guys have thought about it?"
"We weren't sure if it was too fast." Brooke said.
Sam shrugged and got off the chair, "I'm just gonna grab my stuff."
"Okay. We'll wait here champ."
Sam put the chair back in its place and walked over to them.
Before she went up she turned to them once more, "And yeah, waiting fourteen years to move in together? That's way too fast." She said with a smirk. Lucas didn't think he missed her sarcasm, but hearing it was like music to his ears.
Sam left the two parents in some good level of shock. They didn't think that talk would've gone nearly as well. But they'd take it without question. Their daughter was good at that after all, surprising them.
Sam was glad that she was dead tired because that meant she'd fall straight to sleep without having to think about today and possibly dream scary nightmares about those scary eyes. Mike's eyes. Though tomorrow, a nightmare was probably a certainty. Regardless, she was happy that her mom also stayed quiet in the car.
Brooke gave her daughter a glance and saw the tired teen was fighting sleep as she rubbed her eyes with her small balled up fist.
She gave her daughter's knee a gentle squeeze, "Go ahead and close your eyes Sammy." Her voice was tender, "I have to stop to pick up some milk for your coffee tomorrow anyway. I'll wake you when we get home." Sam yawned and breathed out an okay. She put her feet under her onto the spacious seat and curled herself into it. She closed her eyes and let sleep envelope her.
When Brooke parked into her driveway she looked over and saw her daughter dead asleep. She smiled at the sight then turned off the car and went to the passenger side. She undid Sam's seatbelt and put her hands under Sam's arms and picked her up, putting an arm protectively under her and one around her back. Luckily for her Lucas was just parking his car.
"She fell asleep." Brooke told Lucas who was now getting out of his car and into her driveway, "Can you grab her while I get her things?"
He nodded and went over. Brooke shifted Sam into his arms. He waited as Brooke opened up the house and then he went upstairs, "I'll take her up." He whispered.
Brooke went up to Sam's room and Lucas had just put her down on the bed. "Are you changing her out of her clothes?"
Brooke checked the time, "It's still early. If she doesn't wake up after ten, then I will."
He nodded and kissed Sam's head. "Do you have Barry?"
She handed it to him and he placed the bear in her arms. Brooke put the blanket in her arms as well.
Sam began to stir, and opened her eyes blearily, "D-dad?" She began to sit up, but
Lucas sat down and gently pushed her to a laying position once more. He rubbed her arm, "Hi baby. Stay laying, okay? You're tired. Do you want mom to help you change into something more comfortable?"
Sam shook her head and closed her eyes again, clutching Barry tighter, "I'll change later." She mumbled sleepily, "It's still early. I'll just wake…" She was too gone to finish the rest.
Lucas smiled, "Okay champ."
Brooke gave her one last kiss on the forehead, "Goodnight little one." Something told her Sam wouldn't be waking up after this.
….. …. ….. ….
Lucas stared at Brooke who was getting into bed, "What?" She asked him.
She had just come back from Sam's room. Her daughter's jeans were thrown off in obvious haste, so Brooke just folded them and put them in the dresser, she let Sam keep the sweatshirt on it was warm enough anyways and she slipped some sweats on the girl as it was pretty chilly outside.
Lucas gave her a smile, "I just love you."
"Oh?" She gave him a tempting look and chose to stay atop the covers. He moved closer, "You're actually really hot."
"I'm sorry I didn't know we were back in highschool." She rolled her eyes at him.
Lucas laughed as he started to kiss her neck, "But you really loved me in highschool." He got closer to her ear, "You're hotter now though." His voice was a whisper, "Brooke Davis the fashion mogul mom? Super turn on."
Her heart fluttered at his touch, "I think older Lucas is bolder than his high school counterpart. I love it."
Lucas let Brooke slide down his sleep pants, "Did you lock the door?" He asked. She rolled her eyes and pushed him off to do so, then quickly rid herself of her own clothes and slipped onto the bed. Their kisses enraptured one another and quickly turned into something more passionate. "Oh God, I love you." Brooke said as Lucas looked into her eyes in between their passion.
"How did i get so lucky?" He now asked as Brooke laid on top of him ,"I ask myself that question every day." She answered, "You, Sam and me." She said, "It's, it's perfect. Dysfunctional at times, but perfect."
He kissed her head, "She didn't seem to care if we moved in together. She actually seemed excited."
Brooke chuckled, "Well I'm not opposed, but I like my house. It's bigger."
"Yeah well some of us aren't fashion gurus." He muttered.
"Excuse me best seller." She retorted. He laughed, "I like your house too. The bed is bigger."
Brooke elbowed his side.
"Oomph." He said, "It was a joke!"
"Hilarious." She deadpanned.
Lucas held her tighter, "Thank you. I know I am. Sam must've gotten that from me."
Brooke snuggled in, "We can say that."
"I wish she wasn't still upset." He admitted.
Brooke frowned, "I know. I wish she'd let us hold her. I know she wants too, she's just being stubborn."
"She must've gotten that from you." He smirked.
"Shut up!"
….. … ….
The next day at dinner Sam stared at her plate but wasn't really hungry. She debated telling her parents about Joan, but right now they seemed so happy she didn't want to bog it all down with yet another problem.
"Not hungry?" Lucas asked. He noticed Sam was quiet since the moment they'd gotten to Brooke's.
She shrugged, "Not really. Can I be excused?"
Brooke frowned, "Are you ok? Do you feel sick?"
"No. I'm fine." Sam said with a roll of her eyes, "So can I?"
"Before you leave" Brooke started, "We wanted to know how things went at school today."
"School?" Sam asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Yeah, school."
Oh, right, school! She had drifted throughout the day because all she could think of was that stupid visit to Joan's and their run in with Mike.
Liz and Ashley were more or less ignored at school as was Haley, and Manny knew something was wrong as she didn't sing with him as they walked to class, and, come to think of it, didn't even say more than a few words at a time to him.
"Sam, are you okay?" Lucas asked. She had gone deep into thought and never answered the question.
She looked up, "It was fine. I ignored Liz and Ashley. Nothing happened."
Brooke studied her daughter for a few seconds, "Sweetheart you seem really calm about everything. I'm not saying that's a bad thing. You were just so upset on Saturday and-"
Sam sighed, "I'm fine."
No she wasn't.
"At least I'm not some emotional nutcase about it. Don't worry guys." She assured them, "I just, I'll deal with it."
"That's the thing Sam." Lucas said, "You don't need to deal with it alone."
Sam bit her lip, "I know." She said softly, "You guys are there for me."
She then got up, "I think I'm just gonna go do some homework then sleep." She told her parents as she got up.
Brooke and Lucas were concerned. Sam was being so aloof, so...unSam like.
The teen put her plate in the washer then murmured a good night and a 'love you' as she went up the stairs, but was caught by Lucas who pulled her back gently and gave her a hug and a kiss, "Goodnight." He gave her a gentle pat on her bottom, "Don't you go up without giving us a hug." He said playfully.
Sam blushed, "Night dad."
Then went over to her mother and melted into her lavender scent.
"Night mom." She whispered.
"Goodnight sweetie." Brooke said with a tight squeeze.
Once upstairs she took a shower and opted for skipping homework and going straight to bed. She would've waited for one of them to come up to tuck her in but she didn't want to risk divulging everything before she figured out how to frame it and tell them about her visit to Southside. Sam had decided it'd be best to tell them, but it would wait for tomorrow so she could have more time to think about how she'd explain everything.
Sleep came easy once more, but the nightmare free rest of yesterday did not.
Mike walked towards Sam, who stood glued to the center of a darkened room. She turned to her left and there stood Joan apologizing to Sam for being weak.
"Help me Joan." Cried Sam, but Joan just looked away.
Mike got closer and closer, "Hi Sammy baby." He said as he finally got to her and held her tightly in her arms, "You're all mine now."
"No!" Sam yelled, "Joan! Joan, please!"
"Tsk. Tsk." clucked Mike.
Were his eyes bigger now? Or was that her imagination?
She struggled and fought and fought. As he fumbled with her clothes, the room's light turned on, but they began to flicker. The fluorescence hurt Sam's eyes and she felt blinded.
"Joan!" She yelled.
"I'm sorry Sam." She heard the woman say.
Sam looked down and saw that her shirt was completely off. He was reaching for her bra, "NO!" She screamed, but nothing came of it. Her voice seemed to have left her. Luckily Mike had stopped and he now stared at her with menacing eyes, "You bitch." He spat. "Unloved. Unwanted. Bitch."
"I'm not! You're wrong!" Sam yelled.
He laughed and Sam lunged at him causing him to stumble to the ground.
Sam tossed and turned on the bed. Brooke heard the noise coming from Sam's room as it was still early and realized something wasn't right. She quickly went up from downstairs and opened the door, "Sammy?"
Sam was sitting up on her bed crying and holding the covers tightly against her chest. Brooke moved swiftly towards her.
"Sammy what happened?" She tried to pry the sheets from Sam, but Sam pulled herself farther in and tightened her grip, "I'm sorry!" She sobbed, "I'm sorry! D-dont hit me. I'm sorry!"
Brookes' face filled with worry, "Sweetheart why would I hit you?"
Sam's face crumpled once more, "N-no. Please, no."
"Honey what's wrong?" Brooke could see fear in Sam's eyes and she just wanted her little girl to calm down, "Sammy sweetie, I'm not going to hurt you. I never will." She finally pried the sheets from Sam and realized what had happened as she pulled them back.
Sam's sobbed once more when Brooke saw the tell-tale wet patch on the bed and then her soaked sweatpants.
"Oh sweetie." Brooke gushed, "It's okay. It's okay." She assured her, "Come here. Come here baby." She beckoned her.
Sam made herself smaller, "I'll get you dirty! I'm dirty and wet!" She cried, "I'm sorry I was bad. I'm disgusting, I know. I'm sorry! Don't tell dad." She let streams of tears fall, "Don't let him come up here! Please, please."
In that moment Brooke realized this incident had just released a whole lot of fears and memories for Sam. Probably of past punishments.
She closed Sam's door and locked it, "It's just you and me Sammy." She spoke softly. "But honey, let me help you." Brooke felt choked up, but did her best to stay strong for Sam.
She grabbed a box of tissues and started to clean her daughter's face. Sam winced at the touch at first, but then relaxed.
"Can you let me help you Sam?" Brooke whispered.
Sam looked down at her soaked pants and bed, "I'm not a baby. I'm not! I'm sorry. I won't do it again! Don't be angry, don't punish me mama, please."
"Hey." Brooke put a hand on her daughter's face, "I'm not mad at you Sam, not one bit. I never could be, not about this. It was an accident little one. I get it. I know you're not a baby. You're still my willful teenager, I know that."
Sam looked up at her mother, "Y-you're not gonna hit me?"
"Oh sweetheart." She pulled Sam in and sat her on her lap,
Sam squirmed a bit to get off, but Brooke held her by her sides, "Mama I'm dirty. I'm gonna get your work clothes dirty." She whispered.
Brooke could care less about that, "I don't care Sammy. They're just clothes. What I care about is you. And accidents are accidents. I'll never hold that against you and neither will dad. I'd have to be crazy to want to punish you."
Sam wrapped her arms around Brooke's neck and held on as Brooke rubbed her back. She didn't want to let go and neither did Brooke, but Brooke needed to get her daughter out of the wet clothes.
She whispered softly near Sam's ear, "Sweetie let's get you into a bath? I'll change your sheets while you clean up, and bring you another clean shirt and pants."
Sam nodded into her mother's chest.
"Okay, just leave your clothes by the door so I can throw them in with your sheets, okay? Then afterwards since it's still early we're going to talk about what happened."
Sam stiffened, and Brooke just wrapped her up in another hug and kissed the top of her head, "It'll be okay. I promise. It'll all be okay."
"But, but, dad w-won't be m-mad?" Sam asked through cries and sniffles.
Brooke felt her heart spill out for her daughter. She looked so young right now, "He won't be mad peanut. Cross my heart and hope to die."
When Sam walked out of the bathroom twenty minutes later she heard a knock at the door.
"Sammy? It's dad and mom. Can we come in?" He asked as tenderly as he could. Brooke had explained everything and he didn't want to scare her.
Sam froze in the middle of her room. She remembered her mom telling her that he wouldn't be mad. Actually her mom had promised her, and so far, Brooke and Lucas hadn't broken any of their promises. She took a step forward and then unlocked the door.
Maybe it was her father's extremely concerned face, or maybe it was the fact that he had taken the time to rid himself of his belt, so as not to scare his daughter. It could've been that seeing her dad stand there made her feel safe after dreaming that terrifying nightmare with Mike in it. Maybe it was the own teary eyes he donned when she opened the door, but the moment she did Sam fell into his arms.
"Daddy." She sobbed.
He picked her up easily, "I'm right here champ. Right here for you. It'll be okay."
She wrapped her legs around his waist. He tried to ease her into a calmer state. She'd never been so broken and both parents felt so helpless, "We're right here for you Sammy. Daddy and mama, we're here. We're not going anywhere." He soothed her.
Okay, so I had to stop here because the next part I was going to write was going to be long, and this chapter is long enough! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! And yes, Sam will tell them the truth! Please review and tell me what you think. You guys are awesome!