Thanks for the feedback! Sorry for the lack of updates. Things got very busy and I'm going back to university!

"Talk?" Rory echoed and Jess said,

"Yeah, talk. Face-to-face."

"Okay," Rory said stupidly and Jess asked,

"Is that, okay, let's talk, or okay, you're thinking about it?"

"The first one," Rory said, staring at an ant struggling across her dashboard. "I don't need to think about it."

"Okay," Jess said quietly. Neither said anything for a moment and then he laughed. "Now I'm doing it."

Rory smiled, watching the ant's wobbly progress. "When?"

"How about tonight?"

"Tonight?" Rory echoed and Jess said,

"Yeah, if you don't have plans."

"I'm not doing anything. Tonight's fine."

"Cool. I'll come at seven."

"Okay," Rory said, seeing the ant starting to slip. "Seven it is."

"Great," Jess said, his voice as falsely cheerful as her own. "See you at seven."

"Great. Bye, Jess."

Rory got a piece of paper, eased the ant onto it and tipped it out of the window. She sat still for a moment, phone in hand. She was torn between wishing Jess had been there for her to read his expression and relief that she had time to think of what to say. Rory looked down at the sidewalk but the ant was invisible. She stepped out carefully and started towards the building, hoping it hadn't been crushed in all her effort.

The clock had an interesting habit of speeding up when Rory wanted it to be leisurely, and dragging when she wanted time to pass. She showered, changed and brushed her hair and almost dropped the brush when she saw it was already six. Rory kept glancing back at the clock, thinking it had to be almost seven but it was never more than five minutes later and eventually she put on a pan of pasta to cook. Rory had bought the bag and some sauce after a jibe made that she was incapable of cooking, not wanting to be cast as a young person who couldn't feed herself, and the food had sat for weeks in her cupboard, feeding only her guilt. Undercooked pasta and burned sauce some time later fulfilled the unflattering description and, eyes streaming, Rory flung open the windows as wide as possible. The air wasn't much less smoky than her kitchen but Rory gulped it all the same. She was still drawing deep lungfuls of air as the intercom buzzed and her heart sank. Jess had arrived and the kitchen was a disaster.

"Wow," he remarked as Rory let him up. "Is this a new form of art?"

"Shut up."

"The modern woman's guide to cooking," Jess said with a grin. "Or would it be explosion?"

"Hey, you want me to make you eat it?"

"Point taken," Jess said, fading his smile. "Why the sudden domesticity?"

Rory shrugged. "How hard can pasta be? Don't answer that."

"I won't," Jess said, grinning again. "Are you hungry? We could go out."

"Maybe," Rory said. "Let me get the taste of smoke out first."

"Deal."

They smiled and Rory curled and uncurled her hands, suddenly awkward. She was reminded of when she was eighteen and had just started seeing Jess, how neither of them knew how to act. In memory Rory said,

"Do you want a drink or something? I've only got water. Oh, and coffee, of course."

"I'd be seriously worried if you didn't have coffee," Jess said. "Water's great, thanks."

Rory fetched them both a bottle from the fridge and as he sipped she asked,

"You wanted to talk?"

"Right."

There was another awkward pause and Rory hesitated, wondering if she should make another joke about her cooking. As she waited there was a sudden pattering sound. Rory turned to see it had started raining, and it was swiftly becoming a downpour.

"Maybe we shouldn't go out," Jess said. "Not in this."

"Right," Rory agreed. "It's good that it's raining though. It'll clear the air."

She bit her lip at how inane it sounded but Jess nodded.

"Luke says hi," she said abruptly. "I said I'd tell you."

"What?"

"I went to see Mom today and we went over to Luke's. He says hi."

"Oh. Well, say hi from me."

"I did."

"Good."

They smiled awkwardly and Rory silently yelled at herself. What was this? It was worse than when she couldn't talk to boys and recommended where to get round cakes. She was an adult and felt about fifteen years old, with Jess, for God's sake. Rory thought she'd left this kind of thing behind years ago.

"Let's go out," Jess said suddenly, making her stare.

"Go out? Jess, have you looked outside?"

"It's raining – so what?"

"So we'll get soaked."

"It's only water."

Her expression was clearly as incredulous as she felt as Jess explained,

"Look, I want to talk to you but I'm figuring you feel as weird as I do, and not just because of the disaster some call cookery behind us."

Rory smiled and Jess encouraged,

"Let's just go someplace that isn't here. It doesn't have to be far."

"Where?"

"Anywhere. Come on, let's go."

Rory grinned, her discomfort evaporated. She picked up her a purse and found her umbrella, following Jess down the stairs. He pushed open the heavy main door and Rory put up the umbrella, handing it to Jess.

"Thanks," he said, looking almost curious with his smile. "No drywall this time."

Rory frowned and then remembered, Jess in a hardhat and handing her an umbrella to shelter her from the construction zone that was Luke's. She laughed out loud at the memory.

"I had to return the favour sometime."

Jess chuckled and Rory stepped back as a particularly strong stream of raindrops splattered at her feet. The rain was a solid sheet.

"We're crazy," she thought out loud and Jess took her hand.

"Just adventurous. Come on."

Holding the umbrella high above them, Jess ran into the street, Rory close beside him. She screamed with laughter as the water washed over them, her feet up to ankles in puddles. They didn't stop running until they were on the subway and they laughed again at their soggy reflections in the window, the umbrella useless. Most of the commuters looked the same.

"At least it's not so hot," Rory said. The water had felt warm but her skin was chilled and she shivered. Jess nodded, looking concerned and said,

"Do you want to go to my place?"

"Your place?"

"I have towels there," Jess explained. "Right now I feel like one of the guys in Moby Dick."

"Me too. Okay. Let's go."

There were no seats but they stood together, clinging onto the pole. Rory met eyes with one of the passengers who'd overheard and gave Rory a grin, making her blush. It's not like that she wanted to say, but what was it like? Rory closed her eyes.

It didn't take long to get to Jess's apartment. He lived around the corner from the subway and they hurried inside, not bothering with the umbrella this time. Jess's place was messy, still showing signs of being moved into, but you could walk across the floor.

"You should've seen it last week," Jess said. "It was more books than floor."

"Really?"

"Yeah, but it was still better than the place I stayed in before. Before I worked at the Truncheon."

Jess's bright tone was awkward and Rory swallowed, knowing when he meant. His visit to Yale was fresh in her mind and Jess quickly said,

"I'll get us some towels. Wait there."

Rory stood in the middle of the room, not wanting to sit and soak anything. She glanced around, taking in the rudimentary bookshelf and posters Jess had put on the wall. The rest of the space was filled with boxes labelled books – CDs – stuff. Rory was trying to figure out what stuff included when Jess appeared, towels and clothes in hand.

"Here," he said, handing over a T-shirt and jeans. "They might be kind of big but you can tighten the belt. I figured you'd want to change."

"Thanks," Rory said. "Where should -?"

"The bathroom's right around the corner."

Rory thanked him and went in, carefully closing the door. She changed, hanging her wet things on the shower rail and laughed at herself in the mirror. The shirt and jeans swamped her, even with the belt on its tightest loop, but at least they didn't fall down. Rory went back in to find Jess on his cellphone and waited. He hung up and said,

"I ordered pizza. I guess you're as hungry as I am."

"Thanks."

There weren't any chairs in the room so Rory sat on one of the boxes. Jess sat opposite her and said,

"So I guess we should talk."

"Yeah. That's why you came over."

"Before we decided to swim here," Jess said. Rory smiled but he was serious as he said,

"What's going on with us?"

"We're friends, Jess," Rory said quietly. She'd wanted to say she didn't know but it didn't seem honest.

"I know," Jess said, leaning forward. "But are we just that?"

Rory swallowed, trying not to shrug and Jess said,

"We kissed."

"I know we did."

"You said it can't happen," Jess said. "What can't happen? Us being together?"

"It's too much, Jess," Rory said, heart beating. "It's too complicated with us."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You know what I mean!"

"You mean that before, everything got screwed up," Jess said accurately. "Because I left."

"It's not just that."

"That was the last time we were together."

"Jess, you know it's more than that," Rory said, sitting up. "You came back, more than once, and we were mad at each other and then we kissed and then...it was complicated," she finished weakly. "You know it was."

"Rory, it's always been complicated."

"You get my point then!"

"No, I don't get your point," Jess contradicted. "Things didn't work out because it was the wrong time with us. Rory, we're not kids now. We're not even in college – I mean, I never went but you know what I mean. We're not involved with other people and we're not eighteen."

Rory looked away and Jess leant over again, reaching her eyes.

"Jess –"

"Rory, it's always like this, you, me," Jess said in frustration. "Years go by where we don't talk, don't see each other, and then we do and we...you know what we do. We know each other, we forget about all this crap that's been going on in our lives and then – what? We act like it never happens, doesn't mean anything?"

"Jess, you've always meant something to me," Rory said, voice trembling. "Just because I didn't – we didn't – even when we didn't see each other I cared about you."

"Rory, I know that . There's always something with us. We kissed in Philadelphia," Jess said pointedly. "And you came to see me, when things were messed up with that guy and if you hadn't been with him I wanted to kiss you then too."

"But they were mistakes," Rory said raggedly, finding her voice and Jess exclaimed,

"Why?"

"You know why!"

"It was a mistake to kiss me when you were still with Logan," Jess said quietly, "but tell me you didn't want to kiss me. Tell me you'd take it back. Tell me if you hadn't been with him, you'd still have left."

Rory stared, unable to think when suddenly Jess's phone chimed. They jumped and Jess answered, getting his wallet from his jeans.

"Pizza," he explained and Rory nodded, waiting as he opened the door and paid the guy. He handed Rory one of the boxes and, glad for the distraction Rory opened it and ate a slice.

"I didn't want to stop kissing you," she said haltingly, once she'd finished. "Maybe you're right."

Jess looked at her, waiting and Rory went on,

"I know we're older but we're still us. What if it gets so screwed up we can't be friends? Jess, I don't want to say I'll be with you and then we end up hurt. I care about you."

Jess nodded and, embarrassed, Rory gulped down another slice. As she finished Jess said carefully,

"Rory, if you do want to be with me I don't think you shouldn't just because you're scared."

"I didn't say I was –"

"Saying we have to just be friends because we might break up is being scared."

"So what?" Rory asked angrily. "When I do things without thinking, everything gets screwed up. Everything."

Jess waited but she didn't say anything else. Rory blushed at the emotion in her voice and looked away. Jess nodded and then said,

"If you want to be friends and nothing else, we can. I don't want to be a jerk."

"You're not a jerk."

Jess smiled absently but added,

"But if you change your mind don't decide we can't be together because of mistakes we made. It was a long time ago."

Rory nodded too and Jess opened his own pizza box. For a moment they simply ate and Rory said,

"This is excellent pizza."

"Well, I know where to go."

"Beats my pasta."

"That's not hard."

"I thought you said you weren't a jerk?"

They laughed and Rory said shyly,

"I'm sorry about before. When I came to the Truncheon, after I fought with Paul. I shouldn't have left like that."

"That's okay. I'm sorry things didn't work out."

"Right," Rory said quietly. They went back to their pizza and Jess said,

"Do you want some coffee or something? Tell me about your day. How was home?"

"It was great," Rory said. She smiled, started to talk and as she and Jess sipped their drinks a little later Rory let herself relax. For now, nothing was complicated and she was content.