Chapter 3: True Jasper
We looked like such the happy little Brady Bunch family as we loaded the Yukon. Carlisle always went Daddy mode on Human Day and insisted on driving us like we were teenagers. Well we were teenagers (most of us) but you know . . . . Still . . .
The last Human Day we went to the Monster Truck Derby. Ooh that was rich. Jasper was originally concerned with his thirst but the smell of the red dirt, sweat, and testosterone in that building quickly curbed his appetite. Then the fun really began.
Poor Jasper. His deep southern roots really showed that day.
All the screaming hillbillies were feeding Jasper way too much mojo. Before Alice had time to complain about the dirty chairs, Jasper was already screaming like a maniac at the giant monster truck attacking a poor defenseless old Junker. We got nerves when he took off in a too fast speed away from the rest of the family. Then Edward caught his thoughts. Edward had to really work to stop laughing as he guided the rest of the family to our over excited brother.
We found Jasper down at the rails, shirt off, being spun helicopter style above his head as he screamed at Monster Bee to, and I quote, "Tear that fucker a new hide!"
Alice could have fainted at the sight of her husband.
Esme cringed from the sound of Jasper's language.
Edward could have passed out from lack of oxygen from laughing so hard.
And me?
Well, I was too busy snappy away with my iPhone for evidence of blackmail for later.
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