Nightwing's ready for action.

He can't say he's missed it. But he has, in a way. It hasn't been long since the incidents at the Gotham Theatre and the Bachelor and Bachelorette parties; still- staying at home with Harley is all well and good, but the mask calls.

His excitement is short-lived when Batman benches him yet again, and at the house, even Ivy has some to say about Harley's homey demeanor. Dick heads home once again to his pregnant fiancee, wondering when- and if- he'll ever be needed by Batman's side again. He can't say he misses it...

Nightwing planted his boot on the stone floor of the Batcave, kicking out the stand on his motorcycle. He stepped off, his footfalls echoing in the ceiling disappearing into the darkness. The massive computers cast a glow over the open area where Red Hood, Robin, and Alfred stood behind Batman sitting at the desk. Nightwing smiled.

"Good evening, fellow vigilantes. What's on the table for tonight?" he said brightly, stopping at Alfred's elbow. "Ooh, tea." He grinned, taking a cup off of the tray. He held the saucer in one hand, drinking the steaming tea from the cup in the other. Robin stared at him, arms crossed.

"What are you doing here?" he demanded. Batman turned in his chair.

"What do you mean? I'm here for patrol. Why is he here?" he asked, looking at Jason. He shrugged, his helmet under his elbow.

"Not like I have much else to do. Thought I'd lend a hand, out of the goodness of my heart," he smirked. Robin glared at him.

"He was evicted from his apartment. He has nowhere else to be, and he's been leeching off of Father for the week," he said coldly. He'd returned to his usual scornful demeanor.

"Okay first off, I wasn't evicted from my apartment, it was condemned. And second, I'm not leeching," Jason complained through a mouthful of sandwich.

"Please," Robin snapped in return. "We're here to work. Finish the food that doesn't belong to you, and let's go."

"I second that," Nightwing said, putting his empty teacup on Alfred's tray. "Thanks Alfred. I'm here for patrol," he repeated.

"I swear to God, if I have have to listen to him sing over the comms again…" Jason pointed at Nightwing.

"If I have to listen to you speaking over the comms again," Robin hissed.

"Listen here you little-"

"-Enough," Batman cut him off. "With the Hatter in custody and the Joker inactive for now, I don't need all three of you out on patrol tonight." Batman looked between them. "There's not enough city or patience to separate you."

"How unfortunate you'll be staying behind, Todd." Robin smirked at him.

"If anyone's skills are unneeded, it's yours pipsqueak."

"No. Robin stays with the Batman," Nightwing pointed out, and Robin nodded. Batman looked between the three of them, and then his gaze settled on Nightwing.

"Go home," he growled. Nightwing's jaw dropped.

"Oh come on! You're gonna pick them?! I drove all the way over here, and you're gonna bench me?!" he cried. "You know I can help!"

"I know," Batman said calmly. "But right now, I need these two, and no more. It's unnecessary to coordinate that many people. You're right, Robin stays with the Batman, and this way, I can keep the Red Hood under my watch. If he's with me, then he's not out roaming the streets. Nightwing- Dick- you have a fiancée at home who is eight months pregnant. Go home." Nightwing knew the real reason he wanted Robin with him was so he could keep a watch over him as well. He was still concerned with how Robin was taking everything.

"But I-"

"-I know you can help. You always have. At the moment, however; I don't need it." Batman concluded. Nightwing nodded curtly.

"Looks like Robin Senior can't compete," Jason mocked.

"Looks to me like Father is sacrificing one of his best so he can keep tabs on his worst," Robin retorted.

"You shouldn't talk about yourself like that," Jason told him.

Robin scoffed and was about to answer when Batman talked over them. "We don't need you out there tonight, and you should go home and rest. After the other night…" He trailed off. Nightwing's throat tightened at the thought of the burning circus tent. He'd gone there earlier today, and it hadn't been a pretty sight. The tent, the stands, most of the equipment- ashes. "Robin and I are handling Uptown Gotham, Red Hood will be in Midtown-"

"-and I've got Downtown," Catwoman beamed, walking towards them as she tucked her hair into her cowl. She stopped beside Batman and glanced at him, challenging him to argue.

"Selina, maybe you should-"

"-No, you're right, Bruce. Selina should go," Nightwing mocked. "I'll go home so you can use your fiancee in the field."

"-That's not-" Batman tried to argue.

"-Selina on the comms is worse than he is!" Jason whined. "The flirting is unbearable."

"Yeah, me on patrol doesn't seem so bad now, does it?" Nightwing raised his eyebrows. "Nope, that settles it. I'll go home. Selina, have a good time. You deserve to go out. You never get to anymore, anyway," he waved a hand as he walked back to his bike. Catwoman beamed, neither of them giving Batman much of a choice.

"No- but- that's-"

"-Don't argue, Sweetie." Catwoman put a hand on Batman's chest. "Or I'll go out without you."

Nightwing laughed as he got on his bike and started the engine. "Have fun, Bruce," he called over his shoulder, and then sped out of the cave.

Harley rolled her eyes as Ivy and Molly continued to argue.

"But you're degrading yourself being subservient to men," Ivy insisted. "Just look at Harley," she pointed, and Harley glanced up from her knitting. "She could kick anyone's ass, and here she is knitting."

"Hey, it's a baby blanket." Harley held up the pink blanket. It was already to size and a little bigger because it was her nervous habit to add a row.

"Case and point." Ivy pointed at Harley. She and Molly were on the couch in Harley and Dick's living room while Harley rocked in the recliner.

"Me knitting a blanket does not make me a housewife, Red. Calm down."

"And there's nothing wrong with being a housewife," Molly pressed.

"Let me guess; you're a stay at home mom while your husband comes home and expects you to have food on the table."

"I'm a teacher actually," Molly sniffed.

"And she can't cook," Harley added. "Well, she's better than Dick."

"But," Molly continued, "if I needed to not work, I would for Lilly."

"But children are different," Ivy insisted.

"It's okay to sacrifice for children, but not someone you love?" Molly asked. "So what, you want the kids without the husband?" Ivy wrinkled her nose at the thought of a husband.

"Or are you just upset about a certain man?" Harley asked.

"You're both ridiculous." Ivy glared at them.

"Please tell me you didn't consider going Brady Bunch for Jason," Harley laughed.

"What? Why would I-"

"-Well you're getting awfully upset at men again. And not in your 'they ruin the world way' but in a 'I'm a butthurt ex way'." Harley grinned at her. "You would have gone housewife for Jay, wouldn't you?"

"This. Is. Ridiculous."

"I bet if you could blush, your face would be the color of your hair," Harley teased.

"And you're not denying it," Molly added.

"There is nothing worth denying," Ivy snapped.

"I told you you'd like her." Harley grinned. The back door slammed, and they could hear Dick singing Christmas carols as he walked through the kitchen.

"Harley! Bruce decided that he was only taking Jason and Damian out tonight, so I guess I'm stuck here," he called, opening the refrigerator door.

"Dick!" Harley cried, sitting up. "Um-"

"-and Selina is going to. Good, maybe they'll figure out their awkwardness-" he paused to drink from the milk jug as he walked into the room and froze. His mask hung from his hand and he pulled the milk away from his lips, a drip falling onto the red stripe across his chest. He stared at Molly.

After a moment, Dick shrugged and took a swig from the milk jug, walking back into the kitchen. His dogs leapt up from the Christmas tree and chased after him.

"So um…" Harley looked at Molly who was staring after where Dick had walked out. She glanced over at Harley, her eyes wide. "Sorry about that."

"He's…" she trailed off. Molly took a deep breath. "Okay. Makes sense." She took a few more gasps of air. "I'm going to need a little time to process." Her voice was weak.

"I'm sorry." Harley blushed.

"No it's… okay? Maybe I should just go home?" Molly stood up.

"Yeah, um, okay." Harley stood up too. "I am so sorry," Harley repeated again.

"No, no. Don't be. I'll… see you around." Molly let herself out. Harley sighed.

"I guess that's goodnight." Ivy stood up, brushing her pants off.

"Night, Red." Harley quickly gave her a hug and turned the lights out; she hurried up the stairs to the bedroom. "That was one of the stupidest things you've ever done," she said as she walked in.

"What did I do?" Dick looked at her over his arms, in the middle of pulling the top of his Nightwing suit off. Wally's wagging tail smacked against his leg.

"I told you Molly was coming over tonight." Harley pointed at him. "Now you just caused some issues between her and Will. He knew this whole time and didn't tell her." She pulled down the covers on the bed. "And, other people have to drink out of that milk you know."

"Nuh-uh, this one's mine. I bought more on the way home, there was hardly any left, anyway," he muttered. "And I didn't hear you say that Molly was coming over tonight."

"That's because you never listen." Harley jabbed him in the chest, smiling slightly as she rolled her eyes. The corner of Dick's lips pulled up in a smile.

"Don't think I didn't see that," he broke into a grin, catching her and hugging her close. "I saw that little smile, you're not mad at me."

"Yes I am. I'm furious," she said with a serious face.

"No you're not. But you're cute when you're pouting," Dick kissed her nose, laughing a little. He wrapped his arms tighter around her, holding her close.

"My pouting isn't cute." She swatted his arm.

"Yes it is. You're cute all the time," he laughed. "It's that damn accent and those glasses and your cute nose and your pouty lips- you're just my kryptonite," he bit his lip, resting his forehead against hers.

"I thought kryptonite was supposed to be a bad thing. For Superman anyway. And you just compared me to a rock," Harley pointed out. "Isn't there something nicer you could've compared me to?" she teased.

"Hey, have you ever seen the stuff? It's strong, and shiny, and it is beautiful," he pointed out. "And it's not a bad thing. It just makes him weak. When I look at you I can barely breathe," Dick smiled, stroking her cheek. His lips brushed hers tantalizingly, and he laughed softly, leaning back. Harley narrowed her eyes at him.

"You are one smooth talker, Mr. Grayson."

He smiled again, one side of his lips pulling up higher than the other in a lopsided grin. "And you are one hell of a woman, Ms. Quinn." Harley rested her arms on his shoulders.

"Oh?" she breathed. "Good because I thought that's why you decided to marry me." She gave him a sly smile. "And I'd hate for it to have been for some other reason."

"Well, you did look really sexy in uniform," he thought, running a hand through his hair. "Even when you had a cork gun aimed at my face, in the back of my mind I was always thinking 'why are the hot ones always evil?'" he smirked. "But I like my crazy girl." Harley laughed.

"You know, your uniform doesn't exactly leave anything up to the imagination. Had to tell myself not to get distracted a couple of times." She grinned at him.

"Jason and Tim tease me about that, but it seemed to work on you," Dick laughed, picking up his button down from earlier off of the floor. He tugged Harley's sweater off and slipped the button down over her arms, buttoning it up her chest. He dropped back onto the bed, taking her with him as he laughed.

"These aren't exactly pajamas," Harley giggled.

"Eh. I'm just wearing boxers, so we get a pass. Plus if you get cold, you can just move closer to me." Dick smiled, pushing her hair out of her face.

"So that was your plan?" Harley laughed. "You wanted to get me cold, so you could warm me up?"

Dick thought for a moment. "Yeah, I'll take that." Harley rolled toward him a little, one of her legs lacing with his as she braced her hand on his chest and smiled at him.

"I'd think for a detective, you'd be a little better at concealing your plans."

"First of all, I was never a 'detective'. I'm good, but that's Batman's nickname. Tim could take that title, but I don't want it. On the force, I was just a cop. Secondly, maybe I didn't want to conceal my plans," he smiled, kissing her cheek. "Maybe my exposed plan was a diversion," he whispered.

"A diversion from what?" Harley taunted.

"I don't have to tell you," he teased, kissing her neck.

"Oh? Is your master plan still in motion?" She ran her hand from his chest up to his head, running her fingers through his hair. Harley felt him smile against her neck, and he bit her ear, laughing. His hand tightened around her waist.

"I don't have to tell you." Dick repeated.

"Hmmm, maybe I should look for clues." She continued to run her hand through his hair as she propped her other hand under her head. "What do you hope to gain from this plan?"

Dick laughed again, dropping back against the pillow. "Harley! You're going to make me say it?" he whined, still grinning. He caught her hand in his hair and kissed her fingers lightly, closing his eyes.

"Oh you know I'm going to make you say it." She smirked, running her fingers over his lips. Dick smiled, opening his light eyes again.

"I want you. You know I do," he laughed, biting his lip.

"In a completely unexpected turn of events," she teased. She pulled his lower lip away from his teeth before leaning in and kissing him. Dick smiled into her kiss, inhaling deeply and pulling her close. His hand tightened on the fabric of her shirt as he closed his eyes tight, holding her even tighter. Her thumb stroked his jaw while her other hand went to the back of his head, sifting through his hair. With a frustrated sigh, she dropped her head on his chest.

"I really want watermelon," she muttered.

"That's what you're thinking about right now?" Dick asked, staring incredulously at the top of her head.

"I'm sorry! The craving just hit me!"

"We… we don't have watermelon. No one does. I mean… I could run to the store, but they don't exactly stock watermelon in December," Dick sighed, dropping his head back on his pillow.

"Places have watermelon. It's just not as good," Harley reasoned. Dick was quiet for a bit before scooping Harley up and tossing her back on the bed as he stood. She bounced a bit, and he shook his head.

"I'll be right back," he muttered.

"You don't have to go anywhere!" Harley sat up. "I didn't mean-"

"-I'll be right back," he assured her as he closed the door behind himself. He walked down the hall to the guest room and knocked on the door. "Ivy? Are you still up?" After a second, the door cracked open.

"What?" she demanded, standing in front of the opening. The smell of rain forest wafted through the crack.

"Do you think you can grow a watermelon?"

"What?" she asked in confusion.

"Harley got a craving for watermelon right now, and I don't want to go to the store. Again."

"You want me to grow you a watermelon? At twelve in the morning? In your underwear?" Dick stared at her.

"Yes."

She stared at him for a moment, her lips pursed. "Give me a second." She slammed the door in his face. Dick yawned and leaned back against the hallway wall. Ivy opened the door and threw a small watermelon at him. He caught it, nearly missing and dropping it.

"Here." She immediately closed the door again. Dick beamed.

"Thank you!" he called after her, and then he stumbled down the stairs. A bit later, he slipped back into he and Harley's bedroom holding a bowl of freshly sliced watermelon. She was laying on the same spot he'd left her, sound asleep, shivering slightly at the cold. Dick smiled a little and put the bowl down on the nightstand, tucking the blankets around her. He glanced out the window and smiled at the silhouette of Batman on the rooftop across the street before closing the curtains and crawling under the covers next to her.