Sam walked quietly out of her room. She had left her phone charger in Brooke's room and was going to get it before going to bed. Just as she was about to open the door she looked down and saw her bare legs and rolled her eyes. She knew even though Brooke was mad at her she'd still make her put on pants because it was cold. She hated wearing pants to sleep! Sam was about to turn back to throw her sweatpants on, just for the sole purpose of avoiding yet another stern word and look from her mom. She'd been getting a lot of those lately. But something stopped Sam from moving. Her mom's voice.
"She's ruining everything! Victoria is ruining everything. I can't even hold a conversation with my child right now because she's upset with me, and for some reason I'm upset with her.
Sam felt her stomach drop.
"Why, why are you upset with Sam?"
Sam's feet froze. Her heart skipped a beat.
"Because she wants her!" Brooke exclaimed, "She doesn't know the horrible things Victoria said about her when I was carrying her in my stomach! She hated her!"
Sam heard a sob escape her mother and then Luke's murmuring. The TV's volume got higher.
Her mother. She had made her cry. Clear as day her mother was crying. She felt her own eyes water with guilt and she quickly made her way back into her room and closed the door. She flopped onto the bed and coiled herself in.
God, she really fucked up, and fourteen years of insecurities began to knick at the walls of love, comfort, and security that seven months with Brooke and Lucas had provided. She couldn't help it. Her mind started reeling.
But what was worse was that Sam now knew who to blame for her years in foster care. Victoria. She had known the woman didn't like her, but she didn't know how big her part was in influencing Brooke. She attempted to sleep, but for the life of her she could not get her mind to stop reeling, and so she opened up her laptop and watched Netflix until the night turned to day, and finally at around 4:30 Sam fell to sleep regardless of the worry swimming in her mind.
…. …. ….. ….
Brooke got up as Luke showered. She brushed her teeth and got ready for work, then made her way to her daughter's room. Luke had been right. She really missed her girl, and really just wanted to see Sam give her one of her signature smiles. Sam's smile had a way of melting her parent's troubles away but for a moment. The door to her room was completely closed, usually Sam left it halfway open. Brooke sighed, Sam had really gotten the short end of the stick that week on many levels and Brooke could tell her girl was feeling the effects of it. She carefully opened the door but heard Sam in the bathroom.
She knocked on the door, "Hey Sam?"
Just as she asked the shower had turned on.
"Yeah?" Sam called loudly enough for Brooke to hear past the running water. Brooke's words from last night still in Sam's mind.
Brooke sighed she had wanted to talk to her before she left work but she had to leave soon, and Sam wasn't even close to being ready. These were the moments when she wished she wasn't Brooke Davis the fashion mogul.
"I'm gonna be leaving soon. Just wanted to say bye."
" 'Kay, see you later." Sam called about to get into the shower. She felt relieved that she wouldn't have to look at her mom after feeling so guilty.
Nice try, Sam. That's not what Brooke meant.
"Munchkin, open the door please." Brooke said putting a hand on her hip. Her voice was sweet, but still Sam could tell she meant business.
Damn. Plan foiled.
Sam wrapped a towel around her body then went over and opened the door. She looked down at her bare feet under her mom's gaze. Brooke hooked a finger under her daughter's chin so their eyes could meet, "We need to talk."
"I know." She murmured, "...But right now?" She felt blood rush to her ears.
Brooke chuckled, "No, not now Sammy." She figured her kid didn't want to talk while naked, "It can wait 'til later, okay? I'm just letting you know that you and I are gonna have one hell of a talk tonight."
Sam frowned and nodded through her small pout, "Great." She relented with an eyeroll.
Her mother placed a kiss on her forehead and wrapped her in a hug. "It'll be fine Sam. Promise."
She was happy to feel Sam lean into the hug and let herself be held. Still, her smile wasn't there, and it made Brooke just a little sad.
"Alright get in there. You're wasting my water." She told her letting her go.
Sam looked up at her mom, an arm around her chest holding the towel. Her mother looked so put together in her pencil skirt, silk shirt, and black heels. A far cry from last night.
She froze but quickly recovered, "Don't be too mean at work."
Brooke laughed, "I'm not mean! Why do you keep saying that?"
Sam's eyes twinkled and a smile crossed her face. There it was. Her daughter's smile.
"Don't blame me. I've heard stories at your office."
Brooke rolled her eyes, "Shower heathen. You smell."
"I don't!"
"Don't blame me. I heard it from your friends." She shot the joke right back, then gave her girl one more peck to the cheek, "Bye kiddo. Be a good girl."
She stared at her daughter's averting eyes for a second, just then noticing how tired her little girl looked. Worry crossed Brooke's face. Sam caught it and so she tightened the towel, 'B-bye mom.' and then slowly closed the door to the bathroom back up.
Brooke sighed and knew she had to talk to Victoria today, before she talked to Sam.
Sam shed the towel and stepped into the warm water. The talk she was going to have with Brooke, worrying her. Sam was sure of one thing, she was going to get answers from Victoria before she talked to her mom tonight.
…. …. ….
"You're crazy."
"Manny, hear me out." Sam said exasperated through a whisper, "I-I don't wanna go by myself."
He snorted, "Well I'm not going with you. This just sounds like trouble Sammy girl, and you know it."
But he didn't get it. Sam needed to do this. She needed to confront Victoria, but at the same time she couldn't do it by herself. Victoria was still a stranger in many ways, no matter how oddly connected Sam felt to her, Sam still had her trust issues with authority figures. The only adults she truly trusted to be alone with was her mom, dad, and slowly the family that had become of her parent's friends. Of course even with her new "family" she could be a bit hesitant.
Like the time a while back, before Luke spent most of his time with Brooke, she was hanging out at Haley's house and since it was edging into midnight Haley offered to take her back home the next day. The girl agreed, but as Sam was falling asleep she felt a terrible wave of homesickness and wanted nothing more than to snuggle into her mom or dad, not having Barry or her blanket with her didn't help either.
Of course she could never outwardly admit to this, so instead she came up with the brilliant plan of calling Luke (it was his week) with the excuse that she had a question about whether she could go to Southside the next day. Luckily, Luke wasn't born yesterday and could hear the unease in Sam's voice so he offered to go pick her up for the night so he could take her to Southside early in the morning. Sam replied with an easy "sure, if you want." But inside she felt immense relief for his offer.
When Luke got to Haley's house he chose to go into the room where Sam was and saw a wave of relief fall on her daughter when she saw him. Haley gave him a knowing glance as he led a rather tired Sam out to the car. A mother herself, Haley knew when a kid just wanted their mom or dad. She remembered having to go pick up Jamie a couple times at a sleepover in the middle of the night.
Once home and changed into her sleeping shirt Sam crawled into bed with her dad who was already lying down. She didn't say much just laid down on the other side of the bed. Lucas opened his embrace. He knew she wanted his comfort even though she didn't want to admit it,
"Can I get a Sam snuggle?" He asked.
Sam gave him a small, timid smirk, but slid over and let her dad envelop her in his big, strong arms. She was safe. She was loved. But Sam was also angry that she felt like such a child at that moment, yet she couldn't seem to work up to leaving her dad's embrace.
He patted her back, "Champ, go to sleep now. I'm right here." He spoke gently. He knew Sam was embarrassed by everything. He could tell in the little sniffle she gave.
"You know why I really called, don't you?" A blush rose to her cheeks.
He just tightened his hold on her, but didn't have to say anything, Sam knew it.
"I-I'm sorry for making you pick me up so late."
Lucas didn't let her continue with the apology "Hey now Sam. Don't you ever feel bad for needing your mom or me. We've told you this already. That's our job and we love every minute of it. Even the minutes that you forget you're 14 and throw a tantrum."
He heard a small chuckle escape her, but she quieted then sniffled some more.
Lucas sighed, "We'll work up to you staying somewhere else overnight." He whispered softly, then kissed the top of her head, "It's okay champ. "
Since then Sam had gotten better. She could stay with Haley, or Peyton, and even Liz and Rebecca now without having to go back home, although she couldn't lie she did miss her parents when she wasn't asleep at home. Like the time she stayed with Peyton before the party. Regardless, Brooke and Lucas alike were proud that she was growing out of her fearful shell. Yet this was different. She couldn't be alone with Victoria. Not her. No. She needed someone there. Even if that someone was just Manny.
"Come on Manny! Don't wuss out on me!"
He glared at her, "That's not gonna work Sammy."
The bell rang and Sam sat back in her seat and huffed. She saw as Liz turned around. The tension between them still obviously there.
"I can go with you." She whispered as Haley started to talk.
Manny rolled his eyes. Well, great. The second stooge wanted to get in on this.
Sam looked at her skeptically, "What? Liz, no that's-"
"Come on, I owe you. I know that."
Sam saw the glare coming their way from Haley and mumbled out a 'sorry Mrs. Scott.'
But as class went on Sam felt herself dozing off. Manny noticed and slipped her his soda. It gave her enough energy to sit through the period. She hoped she'd be able to snag one of her dad's energy drinks before heading to her next class. He was never in his office during passing period anyways. She'd probably end up being late, but her measly two hours of sleep was leaving her feeling like a dazed zombie. Later on in Haley's lecture Liz turned around once more and Sam finally let out a 'fine, you can come.' to which Liz just smiled. Manny not wanting to feel left out also relented.
…. …. ….
Sam opened the door to her dad's office and smiled when she saw that it was empty, then promptly frowned, her dad moved the case of Red Bull from the floor to the top of the tall filing cabinet near his desk. There was no way she could grab one without climbing onto the desk and reaching forward. And even then it'd be a stretch but she was determined, and so she did just that.
Lucas walked into his office, eyes widening at the sight. His kid was standing atop the edge of the desk reaching forward for the Red Bull. Her gaze filled with complete concentration, not even breaking at her dad's entrance. He imagined her losing her footing and hitting her head on the sharp side of the cabinet. He lunged forward and wrapped an arm around her waist,
"Hey!" she yelped not expecting the touch.
Lucas hoisted his daughter off the desk and back onto the floor with a sharp smack to her bottom.
"Ouch! Dad!" Sam yelped, immediately rubbing the sting, her eyes moving towards the door and window making sure no one saw her father just now treating her like some little kid.
"What the hell are you doing?" He asked his hands folding across his chest, "You could've fallen and hurt yourself. I don't want to see you doing that again."
Sam rolled her eyes, "It's a desk, not a skyscraper. I just wanted one of your Red Bulls."
"That cabinet has sharp corners that you could've fallen on. And no you can't have that. You're too young."
"But dad, come on!" She let out a whine.
Lucas shook his head, "No. Why do you need one? Are you that tired?" He looked at her with more concern, "What's wrong?" He put a hand to her forehead, "Do you feel sick?"
Sam pushed his hand away, "I'm fine dad." She huffed, "I just, I didn't really sleep much last night." Her eyes fell to the floor.
"Did you keep watching that show young lady? I thought we told you-"
"No." She answered. "It's not that."
His eyes softened as well as his tone, "Did you have another nightmare peanut?"
Sam blushed, "No." She mumbled.
The bell rang. Lucas sighed he had to get to his class and Sam was now late to hers.
"I'm writing you a note. I want you here for lunch so you can take a nap."
Sam looked at him like he had two heads, "What? Dad, no!" She was planning on calling Victoria at that time to see if she could go meet her today. Plus, naptime? At school? Did her dad forget she was a freshman in high school, and not a five year old?
He ignored Sam's whine and handed her the note, "Yes. You look tired and by then you'll be even more drained than you are now. Don't fight me on this. I can also go easily and find you. Your choice."
Sam stared daggers at her dad as she took the note, "I'm fine. I don't want to take a nap at school. That's not normal. I'm already weird enough."
She had just wanted something to keep her awake and now she had to spend lunch with Lucas. Just as she was turning to leave Lucas rolled his eyes then grabbed the back of her shirt and brought her in for a hug, kissing the top of her head. His words were muffled by her hair, "Fine. I won't make you. But if you're tired then come in. I just want to help you, not fight you Sammy. Now go to class and don't let that attitude get you into trouble." He warned her before letting her go, "I love you champ...and you're not weird."
Sam sighed but nodded at her father and went to her class.
… …. ….
Sam called Victoria at lunch. But not before watching one of the soccer boys, who Liz knew very well, walk up to the jerk who made fun of Tamara from last week and throw his food to the ground then drag him off to the bathroom.
"Was that all you?" Manny asked Liz in awe. Sam was just as stunned.
Liz just shrugged, "No one comes for you guys. I won't let them."
Sam stayed quiet, but it felt good to see the kid get his just desserts. The boy came out minutes later and his whole head was wet. Swirlied, no doubt. He was also carrying a piece of paper, and Liz knew what it was. A warning she had wrote.
'DON'T MESS WITH SOUTHSIDE.'
The three then decided to skip their last two periods to make it to Victoria's hotel at the set time of 1:45 that Victoria gave. Unlike the teenagers, Victoria thought Sam had come to a decision about the interview and was excited to just get it over with, hoping that whether it was a yes or a no, the whole thing would end with much ease. She was tired of feeling emotionally taxed, something she was not used to. She hoped it was a yes since Sam wanted to meet with her.
But Sam knew If she did the interview things would only get worse. She couldn't do it, no matter how bad she wanted to prove to her mother that she could interview, that she was mature enough, strong enough. She couldn't. Sam didn't want to hear Brooke cry like she had the night before anymore, and if she was honest with herself she was scared to do it.
The trio managed to trek their way to the hotel downtown by taking a bus, then pooling their money together to take a cab. Sam now owed Manny a two hour singing and piano session. She didn't mind, of course.
"Shouldn't y'all be in school?" The driver asked as the three young kids climbed into the back of his cab.
Liz narrowed her eyes at the cab driver who was looking at them suspiciously, "Shouldn't you drive? You're on our dime."
The driver glared at the blonde girl, "Shit girl. Chill." He said as he put the car in drive and headed to the W Hotel. Sam smirked at Liz. Whenever she wanted something, she'd get it. No matter the means. When they pulled up to the hotel Sam was in absolute awe of its beauty. Liz was used to the glamour so she walked in with ease.
Manny was entranced by the sound of someone singing in the gala halls. Sam just pulled him towards the elevators before he got too distracted.
"Come on. We have five minutes to get to the room Manny."
Up they went to the seventh floor. It was only them and Liz and Manny could tell Sam was starting to get nervous.
"It'll be fine Sam." Manny told her with a small nudge, "We'll be right here. Or maybe Liz can get someone to swirly her if she starts being a jerk."
Liz rolled her eyes, "Shut up Manny!"
Victoria heard the door knock and she jumped from the desk she was sitting in. She stopped her excitement and let her face cool then walked with high dignity towards the door.
"Samanth-"
She stopped and her face fell at the sight of not one, but rather three teenagers push themselves into her suite.
"Umm Excuse me!" She commanded at the sight of Manny walking all over with amusement and Liz plopping herself onto the sofa.
She turned to Sam whose arms were crossed and was staring defiantly at the woman, "What do you think this is? A playground young lady? Get them out of here."
"They're my friends." She growled, "I want them here."
"Fine. What is your answer? The faster I get it the quicker you all can leave."
"I won't do it. The interview."
Victoria hid the small disappointment she felt, "Perfect, now all three of you can leave."
Sam shook her head, "I could've just told you over the phone, that's not why I'm here."
The woman raised her left eyebrow, "Oh? What could you possibly want then?"
Sam took a step closer, "Why'd you do it?" She said thinking back to her mother, "Why'd you make Brooke think the only option was to give me up? Why did you tell her bad things about me when I wasn't even born! It's all your fault I never got to be with them!"
Liz's eyes grew at Sam's outburst. Victoria stared at Sam for a moment and blinked. Then she took the girls arm and sat her down on the sofa by Liz and Manny who by then wandered back near his friends, "Sit there."
Sam was about to get back up but Victoria kept her arm on her shoulder, "Sit. And listen." She ordered.
"I did what I thought was best and I'm not apologizing for it."
Sam felt herself tense with anger, "God, everyone's right! You are such a bitch!"
Victoria controlled her urge to slap the small girl, "Call me what you'd like. I could frankly care less." Wrong. It actually hurt to hear that come from Sam. "You know absolutely nothing and I will not humor you any longer. I will say this once, I did what I thought was right for MY DAUGHTER. She was 18 and you would ruin her future, not to mention that she's a Davis and these things do NOT happen to us. So, yes, of course I wanted her to give you up. I don't know what you want me to tell you. That's the simple truth Samantha. Children are not simply a blessing from heaven, they are a real burden. You are in charge of raising this human being for 18 years at the very least, and your mother herself was a child, I would not have her doing that to herself!"
Sam stared at the woman with so much hurt and fury, but everyone in the room lost their concentration when Victoria's cell rang.
She glanced at her phone then back at the girl whose face yelled anger, but eyes bore nothing but pain, "It's your mother."
Sam fell into worry. Why was her mother calling Victoria now out of all the possible times?
"Hello...yes, what? Now?" Victoria chanced a look at the kids, "You have a meeting in three hours...I checked your schedule that's why. You are impossible Brooke! Do not come here. You really are something else!" She hung up the phone and huffed.
She turned to Sam and the other two kids, "Your mother is currently on her way up here. Apparently she needs to talk to me as well."
Sam's eyes widened as did Liz's and Manny's, "SHIT!" She jumped up, "Let's just leave."
"You might be too late for that." Victoria said feeling momentarily sympathetic.
They heard the ding of the elevator and knew that option was now gone, "I'm so screwed." Sam lamented, waiting to hear her mother's knock at any moment and the sure scolding that was to come. Victoria, not wanting to be caught with Sam in her room either pushed them towards the bathroom, "Stay in here. All of you shut up and just wait until Brooke leaves."
Sure enough the knock came moments later. Victoria narrowed her eyes at the three, "Not. ONE. squeak."
The three all got into the bathtub and huddled in closing the curtain around them. The door was locked but it was just a precautionary measure, you know just in case Brooke barreled through the door or something.
Victoria opened the door and the kids heard the exchange.
"Paying this on company money?" Came another voice which made Liz's blood run cold. Her mom.
She sunk into the bathtub, "Fuck, Sam."
Sam looked at her sympathetically, "I'm so sorry." She whispered. Manny looked at the girls, "Shhh! We're gonna get caught if you guys keep talking."
"Well you shut up too then!" Liz hissed.
Sam looked at them with deadly eyes. They were all screwed if they got caught.
Victoria eyed Brooke from the center of the room, "What do you want Brooke?"
"I want you to stop confusing my daughter."
Victoria rolled her eyes. God, she should've never come to Tree Hill.
"No worries. I won't."
Brooke clenched her fists, "No, you need to listen to her and let her try to get to know you, but don't you hurt her. Don't you dare."
"You don't want me to spend time with her and so I won't."
"No!" Brooke said exasperated, "She wants to, and as much as I don't want it to happen, I also don't want her to push me away because I never let her get to know you. So you have to stop telling her you won't see her because of me. You have to stop!"
Victoria checked her watch then back at her angry daughter, "I heard you. If she calls again I will agree to meet with her. You can leave now."
Brooke took a step closer, "Don't you dare hurt her."
Victoria sighed heavily with an eye roll, "For God's sake Brooke, I won't. I don't understand why you're so set on keeping her in some sort of bubble. Am I really that horrible Brooke? Do you think I'd really horrendously hurt the little cretin?"
"She's not like me Victoria! She might've had inattentive parents like you and Daddy, but I didn't have to worry about being beaten. I didn't have to worry about being slapped, kicked, belted, shoved. I wasn't poor. I wasn't in foster care. Do you get it?! You were horrendous in your own way, but think of that times a hundred for my baby girl. I'm trying to protect her! Excuse me if I'm neurotic about it, but I won't apologize. I won't. This is all your fault! All of it! I could've kept her!"
Her voice turned watery and Brooke felt Rebecca put an arm around her, "Brooke." She said softly.
But Brooke moved, "No. Victoria needs to hear this."
Victoria sat down on the bed, "Please go ahead. Rip me apart. But before you do, my child, let me tell you one thing. You are deluding yourself if you think that at 18 you could've provided for your daughter."
"We were rich!"
"I was rich. Not you. I wouldn't have helped you with your mistake."
Brooke's blood boiled, "Don't. Don't call her that." Her voice was grave as she pointed at her accusingly.
Victoria pursed her lips, "She was. You're telling me you wanted a child as a senior in high school?" She said it softly hoping Sam wouldn't hear.
"It happened Victoria! It happened! And I was ready to accept the consequences."
Sam felt tears roll down her cheeks as she heard the two women go at it. Liz put an arm around her shoulders. She tried hard not to cry loudly but hearing the debate of whether her life was of worth was a jarring experience.
Victoria stood up brashly, "I wanted better for you! That's all I wanted!"
Brooke stopped. Her heart beating heavily in her chest. She saw as Victoria wiped at her eyes quickly and took a deep breath to compose herself.
But even with that moment of vulnerability, Brooke couldn't bring herself to feel for Victoria, because there was one moment in particular, early on, very early on in Brooke's pregnancy with Sam that she couldn't seem to forgive Victoria for.
"You-you wanted me to abort her." The hurt mother's voice spoke icily. Brooke's mind went back to that horrid day.
"Brooke." Victoria now said alarmed. Sam was right there.
"Fuck, we're screwed. We're screwed." Liz kept repeating. Sam felt a whirlwind of thoughts run through her. Her mother was going to abort her? Victoria had pushed for it? But Victoria was just trying to protect Brooke?
She wordlessly got up and pushed the curtain open.
"Sam what're you doing?" Liz whispered, "Stay here Sam!"
Liz's ass was also on the line and as much as it pained to know that Sam was hurt, Liz was also scared that her mom was going to find her and do God knows what to her. Hey, she was fourteen. You couldn't blame her for self-preservation.
Sam walked forward and stared at the door, ignoring her friend's pleas.
"What is she doing?" Manny asked turning to Liz.
Liz rubbed her face feeling stressed then motioned for him to close the curtain again. He did so.
"You-you wanted me to kill her." Brooke added, staring, no, cutting into Victoria's gaze as well as into the woman's resolve.
Victoria's voice faltered with emotion, "Brooke, that is not the same thing!"
She took a step closer, ignoring Victoria's words. "I was in that dingy little clinic."
One more step, "In the middle of nowhere."
One more, "I was lying on that bed."
She pressed her thumb and finger together, "I was this close."
Victoria couldn't take it any longer. That little girl was hearing everything.
"Brooke could you please shut the hell up!",
"Why?! You can't admit it, can you? You can't admit that you're a heartless person!"
Victoria surrendered and pointed to the door, "Your daughter is in the bathroom for fuck's sake! Stop talking about this!"
Time stopped for the mother. Brooke felt it all crumble down. The room spun around her. Her heart skipped a beat, then began to palpitate at a million miles an hour as she turned slowly and looked at the closed door of the bathroom.
"W-what?" She spoke breathlessly as if the wind had been knocked right out of her.
What else could the mother say? Her baby had heard her say all of that just now.
"She's in there." Victoria said more quietly taking a seat on the bed, "She wanted to talk to me as well."
But the interview was to remain between her and Sam, she had decided, unless Sam spilled the beans.
Sam felt herself opening the door to the bathroom in a daze when she heard what Victoria had just said. Liz and Manny pushed themselves deeper into the tub. Sam no longer cared if she was in trouble. She needed to see her mom. She didn't know what to feel or think. Was she feeling mad? Sam had no idea.
But she didn't want to stare at the door. She wanted to see her mom, look at her face. Her gaze. Her eyes. She wanted her mama. Maybe not to hold her at this particular moment, but she just wanted to know she was there, on the other side.
The door opened with a creak as it swung softly into an open position.
Mother and daughter now stood before one another.
Sam stared at Brooke. She didn't know how to feel. Brooke's mind was racing. Why was her daughter there? What did she talk about with Victoria? Was her baby heartbroken at what she had just found out?
"Samanth-"
"Brooke" Sam said cutting her off. She looked at the tiled floor then back up at her mother's worried expression, "You-you were going to- I mean...you were at the clinic, you were ready to-"
Brooke took a step towards her daughter, "Sam-"
But Sam took a step back. "No." She squeaked.
She didn't know if she wanted Brooke to hold her or not. Her mother was so close to having actually gone through with it...aborting her. And, well, that hurt. She knew it wasn't her mama's fault, but that didn't take away from the shock.
Victoria saw the pain in Brooke's eyes as she stood there watching Sammy, who was frozen by the door of the bathroom.
Victoria stood up once more, feeling an odd need to protect her daughter. Her Brooke. "Samantha."
Sam looked up at the older woman.
"I did not give your mother a choice. I told her I'd disown her and not pay for her college if she didn't go through with it. I threatened to kick her out of the house. It was only a day after she had found out that I dragged her to the clinic. She was confused and I capitalized on it. If you are to be angry at someone, direct it at me."
Brooke looked at Victoria, shocked that the woman was defending her.
Sam just shook her head. She was in foster care. She understood the difficulty of teenage pregnancy. She was no stranger to the hardship many of the pregnant girls she knew had also gone through. "I...I'm not mad." She looked at her mom, "Mom...I'm not mad. You, you weren't ready for me. I get it." Sam's words betrayed the strength she was trying to portray. They were filled with sadness.
Brooke wished her daughter didn't have to "get it." She wished the events surrounding Sam's birth were happy and she was loved from the start.
Brooke looked at her little girl with so much compassion. She took one step forward once more, but yet again Sam took another step back, further into the bathroom, "Thank you for not doing it though." Sam said biting her lip and letting a tear fall.
"Baby, sweetheart, please come here." Brooke pleaded sadly.
Sam saw Rebecca looking over and remembered her two friends were in the tub, not wanting them to get into any trouble she braved her own emotions and walked out of the bathroom being wise to close the door behind her. Brooke was still a few steps from her. Sam moved towards the wall and slid down.
"Sammy." Brooke's own voice was watery with emotion. It hurt that Sam refused to go near her.
Sam pulled in closer to herself and turned away to look towards the window, "It's fine mom." She said so quietly, the women in the room almost had to strain to hear it, "You don't have to explain it to me."
Sam then looked at Victoria and even though she was furious at the woman for how cruel she was and even now how unapologetic she was, Sam understood on some level that Victoria did what she did because in her mind it was the right thing to do.
Victoria caught her gaze as well and Sam took a steadying breath, "You-you ruined everything for me."
"Young lady I-"
"But I guess you did it because you love Brooke." Sam said hugging her knees and looking back at the window, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. This is so dumb, I shouldn't have been here. I'm sorry."
Brooke stopped her. She couldn't bear to hear her continue, "Rebecca, Victoria can everyone please leave? Sam and me need to be alone." She did not take her eyes off her daughter who refused to look at her, and rather stared past the window with tears on her cheeks.
Oh how she'd give for Sam to be a baby. She distinctly remembered when Jamie was crying inconsolably as an infant. Haley would sing in Jamie's ear as she rocked him and once he calmed she held him and fed him a warm bottle of milk until he fell asleep.
But her child wasn't a baby. She couldn't calm the stream of tears she saw on her daughter's cheeks by cradling her and rocking her like you could a baby. She couldn't ease her worries and fears by comforting her with a bottle of milk.
Brooke felt a tear slide down her cheek as she thought this and watched her big girl sitting so vulnerably, so childishly on the floor, rejecting her attempts to comfort her.
Victoria sighed deeply and without a word went towards Rebecca and grabbed her arm whispering something into her ear. Rebecca's eyes darkened and without a word opened the bathroom back up.
Sam and Brooke both too absorbed in their thoughts didn't notice Rebecca dragging Liz out the room with Manny right behind. It also helped that Rebecca gravely told them to not speak a syllable as the two cowered before a furious Rebecca in the tub before they were marched out.
When Brooke heard the door finally close she inwardly sighed and then took a step forward and held out her hand to her daughter. Sam stared at the outstretched hand and then at her mother's gaze. Sometimes it amazed Sam that her parents could look at her with so much compassion like her mother was doing now.
"No mom, it's okay. I'm fine."
Brooke wasn't having it. Her daughter and her were going to talk about this. That's one thing they could do. They could talk. Both knew there was too much unresolved.
She motioned her with her hand, "No Sammy. It's not fine. Come on, you and me are going to talk. I said that this morning, and given what you just heard, I think it's best we do it now." Her voice was gentle, but firm. And Brooke came to the quick and maternal conclusion that even if she had missed those pivotal years of infancy, Sam would always be her baby.
Sam, not wanting to upset Brooke further, did as she was told and took her mother's hand. Brooke led them to the couch in the suite and had Sam sit down next to her. Sam did her best not to continue the tears. She wanted to be okay with it and be mature about the whole thing. But there was so much swirling in her head. It was like she was on a roller coaster of emotions and thoughts.
Brooke kept staring at her daughter whose eyes darted everywhere but at her.
"Baby please look at me." She gently moved her daughter's cheek to face her but Sam barely met her mom's eyes before looking back down.
"Sweetie, it's okay to be mad at me, Victoria, or just everyone right now, but please look at me so we can talk. I love you so much peanut, and I don't want you to be so upset anymore." Brooke's voice had a slight intonation of desperation. She just needed her girl to look at her. She wanted to explain everything and just resolve it all, "We need to fix things between you and me, and we can't do that if you don't look at me."
Sam took a deep breath. She knew if she looked at her mom, tears would pool over again.
Her prediction was right. Quiet tears streamed down as she looked at her mother's green eyes. She brought her jacket sleeve up and wiped her eyes then her nose.
Brooke grabbed a tissue and placed it in Sam's hands, then decided to start from the beginning, "Sweetheart, is it okay if I tell you about that day at the clinic?"
Sam only nodded at her mother.
Brooke looked right at her daughter's piercing eyes, "Sam, that day. That day was so hard. I was lying on that gurney waiting for the doctor to come in. I thought it was going to be easy, even though I didn't want to, I thought if I closed my eyes and thought of something else I could get through it."
Sam bit her lip and let out sniffle after sniffle.
Brooke squeezed her hand, "But as I laid there Sammy, I realized that, that I would lose, even just those nine months with you. That's when I realized I loved that little unborn bundle inside my stomach."
"R-really?" Sam said in slight surprise. She seemed a bit embarrassed to ask the next question, "How did...you know?"
"Really, times a thousand Sammy. I could've never gone through with that. Lying in that room made me understand that I loved you. The ache I felt inside, I thought they were nerves. But they weren't nerves. It was love. I loved you the moment I found out I was pregnant with you. I didn't know that those constant butterflies I was feeling, the sagging emotion in my heart, it was true love...Then I thought of what you'd look like. I thought of how smart you'd be and how much you'd light up someone's life. I knew you could never be mine. Victoria would never allow it, but I also knew you could provide another mom and dad with so much happiness. And I realized what I didn't have, I could give to you. You, Sammy, you deserved a chance. And I'm sorry that it didn't turn out that way. I so, really, truly am. But now you're here with dad and me."
Sam's face turned angry and she stood up swiping at her eyes in the process, "Goddamn it!" She cried, then violently slid the vase sitting at the table causing it to crash into shattered little pieces onto the floor.
"Samantha!" Brooke said in shock standing up to grab at her daughter, but Sam moved from her mother. "It's so stupid!" She cried.
"What, what is?" Brooke asked felling a bit lost.
Sam then turned back to face her mother, "Why couldn't I have stayed with you?!"
Brooke's heart broke. Sam looked so desperate for an answer. An answer Brooke and Lucas desperately sought as well.
"Sammy, I-" How could she answer that? There was nothing she could tell her that would alleviate that pain, "I-I don't know." It hurt Brooke to know that she could never fulfill that gaping hole. The same hole she had as well. The same hole Lucas had.
Sam clenched her fists, "Mom." Sam broke down. Completely broke down, "M-Mommy, w-why did it have to take so long for us to be together?"
Sam was past the point of caring. She was so confused...and mad. She could have had her mom and dad. She could've! She would've avoided so much misery. Why was it all so unfair?
Sam started to punch and kick at the wall, "I hate this! I hate this! It's not fair! Not fair!"
It was a sort of destructive catharsis that Sam had fallen into. She had tried to keep it together, but it only hurt her in the end to do so, but hitting the wall felt good and so did breaking that vase.
In a quick move Brooke rushed towards Sam and grabbed her by the shoulders, "Stop it, right now." She spoke firmly. She didn't want to be firm but it was called for at the moment.
"Mommy, no! It's not fair!" Sam cried trying to squirm away but her mother's grip was stronger.
Brooke felt so much pain for her daughter and in true maternal instinct she pushed Sam into her embrace and hugged her tightly, "Stop it now Samantha. You need to calm down." She told her, though not letting her go, "Calm down now."
The word 'mommy' was a new development, and Brooke realized it probably wouldn't be a regular thing, but it certainly showed her how affected Sam was by all of this.
Sam's anger just dissipated into sobs.
"Sam come on, let's go sit down and talk." She said pulling away from her daughter.
"No!" Sam answered defiantly, "There's no point!"
Brooke sighed, "Sweetheart, please." She tried taking her daughter's hand but Sam shook her head. She was certain that nothing could be done or said that would fix what she was feeling.
She gave her daughter a stern look, "We're going to the sofa now Sam. Come on."
Sam glared at her mother, angry that her mom didn't want to hold her anymore and rather just wanted to talk. "No. No mommy!" Talking wouldn't help. There was no use. Why didn't her mom understand? She just continued to cry. Her shoulders heaved.
Brooke hearing her daughter cry and being unable to calm her down and failing at getting her to walk towards the sofa where they could sit and talk did the one thing she could think of, and hoped to God Sam didn't fight her.
She took a step towards Sam then put her hands under her daughter's armpits and picked her crying daughter up into her arms and placed a steadying hand under her bottom and another around her back. She silently thanked her personal trainer for all those workouts, else picking up a hysterical fourteen year old wouldn't have been possible. Luckily, Sam was also barely a hundred pounds and the walk to the sofa was short.
She felt as Sam wrapped her legs around her waist and squeezed her,
"I wanted you and dad!" She continued crying.
Brooke could feel how deeply vulnerable Sam was and did her best to ease her.
"Shhh." Brooke cooed, "Mommy's here. I'm here now."
Sam hid herself in her mother's hair and Brooke walked the few steps towards the sofa and in a quick move she had Sam on her lap and tucked up against her chest.
Sam cried into her mother's embrace. The silk shirt Brooke was wearing no doubt was getting soaked with tears.
"It's unfair Sam. I know it is. I'm so sorry baby girl. I wanted to keep you too. I don't have the answers, but we can only move forward Sammy. That's all we can do. You, dad, and me."
She ran her hand through Sam's hair and gave her kiss after kiss, "Shhh. Shhh. No more tears, I'm right here now. I know, it's hard."
Her cries made it hard for Sam's words to come out as coherently as she wanted them to, "I, I know it-it's not your f-fault though. I-I know now mama. I'm s-sorry for being so upse-upset with you t-this week. I'm sorry."
Brooke kissed her girl's head. Silently thankful. "I'm sorry too little one." She tightened her hold on her little girl, "I was just mad that Victoria was here and you were so set on getting to know her, but sweetie I'm not taking that away from you. I know you heard what we said to one another. But it's your decision to make."
Sam just nodded and pulled herself closer into her mother. She didn't want to think about Victoria right now. She just wanted her mom to hold her. Of course, she knew the time would soon come when she'd have to explain why she was there in the first place and her mama's loving words would transform to something a bit more stern, but for now she'd soak in it.
Brooke felt Sam nuzzle into her, and so she patted her back and rubbed soothing circles onto it.
As the minutes passed and she finally calmed her daughter down Brooke sighed as she knew she had to ask the question that could very easily turn this whole moment around.
"Sammy...why were you here? I know you had to have missed at least one class to get here considering the time."
Brooke felt her daughter tense. Sam slowly lifted herself up and gave her mother a timid look, "I-I heard you last night talking to dad."
Brooke frowned. Had Sam heard her?
"I made you cry." Sam's eyes cast down at her admission.
"You don't have to say it. I know I did."
"So you had to confront Victoria?"
Sam nodded, "I thought it was all her fault. All her fault that I was separated from you and dad, and well I don't know what to think about that anymore after all this. But I just, I had to come."
The interview could be something between her and Victoria. Sam was smart enough to keep that to herself. Some things her mother didn't need to know.
Brooke frowned and gave out a sigh, "Sam you didn't make me cry. All the unresolved drama between my mother and I did. It's what's made me so insecure about you getting to know her. You are not at fault for anything. Please understand that."
Sam laid her head back down on her mom's chest, inhaling her lavender scent. She stayed still so she could hear her mother's heartbeat. It always soothed her.
"Everything's so confusing." She muttered through a hiccup, "I wish it was simpler."
Brooke felt so much for her. Wishing that everything could just be willed away, she patted her daughter's bottom gently, "I wish that too. But we'll be okay princess. We'll be okay."
Sam gently grabbed her mother's hand drawing circles with her fingers on Brooke's palm. She always liked her mother's hands. They were small compared to Lucas's, but they were still bigger than hers. They were delicate and feminine with patent red nail polish, but still had a slight worn look to them. A sign of age that Brooke would never concede.
Brooke looked down at her daughter and watched her silently. She let Sam wade in her thoughts before she asked the question. She knew whenever her daughter played with her hands it was because she was either lost in thought or gathering those thoughts together.
"How many classes did you skip Sammy?"
Sam sighed. Really? Did this have to be done now?
"Mom." She said through a small whine though still playing with her mother's hand.
Brooke wouldn't budge, "How many, munchkin?"
Sam mumbled out a "two." and heard her mother take a deep breath and sigh.
Sam looked at her mother, "You're mad at me again, aren't you?"
"I'm not mad Sammy. I know why you did it, but you also know that skipping school is not allowed, and you're not skipping out on consequences either, but we'll talk about that later."
Sam's face then turned apprehensive. A furious blush rising to her cheeks.
"What's wrong?" Brooke asked, worried Sam was going to start to cry again.
"I-I'm sorry for freaking out again. I-I haven't done that in a while...I know I'm supposed to try hard to calm down and I'm supposed to breath deeply like Lopez says, but I just, I didn't wanna do that this time." She hung her head in shame, "I can pay for the vase." She said softly.
She felt her mother push her back into her embrace, "You're not paying for the vase. I will. I am your mother and I take care of things like that. So does dad. That's not your job. You have parents now Samantha. Understood?"
Sam sniffled and muttered out a "yes m'am."
It was still hard for her to let them pay for anything because money was always such a huge problem in her other foster parent's lives. But Brooke and Lucas were different. They wanted to pay for her needs AND wants.
Brooke started to rub her back again, "And it's okay Sammy. Dad and me will let this one go because what you heard was a lot to take in for anyone, no matter how strong. But consider it you're freebie kiddo."
Sam was content with that answer and wrapped her arms around her mother's waist hugging her tightly.
Brooke was rocking Sam gently, and after ten minute she could tell the girl was falling asleep in her arms. It turns out she could rock her daughter to sleep, and she just didn't have the heart to pull away. But time was inching away and she had a meeting. Luckily, Lucas would be there soon to pick her up. Sam, having had no sleep the night before and a breakdown that drained her already low energy gladly basked in the warmth and comfort.
She heard a knock at the door which caused Sam to stir but because she was emotionally and physically drained she just closed her eyes again and let the swaying motion overtake her.
"Come in." Brooke called out. Rebecca tentatively opened the door, then walked in. She saw the broken vase on the floor, but didn't ask any questions, then saw Brooke holding Sam and it reminded her of all the times she held Liz after a punishment.
"Brooke, honey, we have to get going." She whispered.
Manny was sent home with money for a cab and her own daughter was sitting in the back of the car Rebecca and Brooke came in. She had been hauled off to the restroom in the lobby by her mother, where her defiant attitude earned her three hard, but quick swats to her thinly clad backside, but that was enough to get her to cave and tell her mother everything. Rebecca could only give her teary eyed daughter a hug and a kiss, understanding that she was just trying to help Sam out, but told her she was still in trouble for skipping class. Liz greedily latched onto her mother's comfort and told her she was sorry for skipping, but not for why she did it.
"Mama where are you going?" Sam asked blearily, she was basically asleep and so her teenage inhibitions were no longer existent.
Brooke looked down at Sam, "I have a meeting, peanut."
"Can I go too? I promise I'll be good." Sam mumbled closing her half open eyes again.
Brooke suppressed a chuckle, "Dad's coming for you. He wants to see you and I think you'll have more fun with him then in a boring meeting with me."
Sam really had no idea what her mom was telling her. She was too tired, so she just nodded and whispered out an okay.
Rebecca looked at Brooke with a bit of urgency. They had to get going soon. She was surprised how calm Brooke was.
"He should be here in five minutes." She said softly looking to Rebecca.
Rebecca nodded and shot her daughter a text telling her they'd be going down soon.
True to his word Lucas was at the door within five minutes, a new shirt for Brooke to change into in his hands. He saw Rebecca first who pulled him aside and explained as far as she knew.
He was quiet as he walked back in and towards his two girls. He gave Brooke a kiss before he gently shook Sam, "Kiddo your mom has to go."
"Hmmm?" Her eyes opened and she realized two sets of eyes were looking at her….compassionately.
"Your mom." Lucas said looking at Brooke, then back at his kid, "She has to go. You're coming with me."
Sam frowned, she was so comfortable and now she had to move.
"You want me to carry you?" Luke offered. His daughter just looked so tired.
Sam shook her head, "No, I got it." She shifted off her mom's lap, but rather than stand up she just laid back on the sofa and closed her eyes drifting back.
Brooke laughed and stared at Sam, "You might have to carry her if you can't get her up this sofa."
Lucas smiled. He knew that'd be the case. A tired Sam was always a non coherent one.
"Here babe. The beige shirt, right?"
She grabbed the clothing and smiled,"It's perfect." She went into the bathroom to change.
Lucas looked over the room and noticed the broken glass.
"Did she break the vase?" He said looking at the mess on the floor once Brooke came out.
Brooke turned her attention to the broken glass, "Yes." She began to hastily pick up the rest of her things, "But let's talk when I get home? Make sure she's okay. Let her know I'll be home by eight. Don't talk to her about it without me Luke."
Lucas pressed a kiss on their daughter. What Rebecca said was enough for him to realize that Sam had probably had a meltdown. "I won't. She'll probably be asleep for a good while anyways."
Rebecca stepped in, "Brooke, I'm sorry but we really have to go."
"Okay, but first, Where's Victoria?" Brooke asked.
Rebecca frowned, "She said something about regretting coming here and just took off."
Brooke looked down at her daughter. Victoria was leaving. She caused all this and now she was leaving.
"She went to the airport didn't she? She's just leaving. Sam wants to get to know her and she's just leaving."
Lucas pulled her in, "Hey." He said with loving eyes, "We'll figure this out...later. You're gonna be late, and this is an important meeting. Go. Sam has me. Don't worry."
Brooke nodded. How did she snag such a wonderful man? She kissed Lucas, then did the same for their sleeping daughter
"Bye babe. I love you." Lucas told her as she headed out.
"I love you too." She said with one last lingering kiss to his lips.
He watched them leave before turning his attention back to Sam.
Lucas brushed a finger across Sam's cheek until her eyes blearily opened
"Let's go home champ."
She sunk further into the sofa, "No. Sleep." She mumbled.
He chuckled, "You can sleep in the car, you goof."
She groaned but managed to pick herself up and Lucas helped her off and she leaned into his side as they walked out.
... ... ...
Victoria looked at the departures. New York was calling her name. She had caused enough destruction. She stared at her phone and the name that lingered below her finger. She had changed it. The name was no longer "Samantha." It read "Sammy" now.
But that poor girl's face. It was etched in her mind. The hurt that she had flashed. Was this really all her fault? It was. She just knew it. But she couldn't seem to break ties with the girl. She sighed and sent off the text that she had constructed on her way to the airport. A text she hoped would keep some semblance of a relationship between them.
Sam opened her eyes. It was 6:37 pm. The day was coming back to her and she breathed out a long breath and wiped her face with her hands. She realized her dad must've set her into her bed because she couldn't remember walking up there. She turned over and grabbed her phone.
There were millions of notifications, mostly Liz and Manny.
Liz telling Sam she was dead because she was grounded and Manny saying he was grounded too, but that he loved the adventure either way.
She sent them 'I'm sorry' texts back and told them she was probably dead for skipping too, so they could at least all suffer together.
Her mom had texted her too letting her know when she'd be back and that she loved her. Oh, and that she knew her adventure consisted of two other wayward teens. Sam smiled warmly and moved to the next text. It was Victoria. She felt herself freeze, but opened it either way.
'Samantha. I'm as honest as they come, and to tell you I'm sorry would be a lie. I regret nothing. I stand by my actions. I hope you understand why. But you are in your mother's life now and I wouldn't ask her to give you up any longer. She loves you. And as far as I'm concerned you both are made for each other. I don't plan on telling your mother about the interview. I'm leaving to New York, but if you choose to reach out I will not turn you away, unless you begin to act insufferably then that's grounds for terminating any type of relationship.'
Sam reread the text over and over. Her mom was okay with it. Her trying it out with Victoria. But was Sam okay with it? Sam thought, and she thought hard. The woman loved Brooke. She could easily see that, even if no one else could. It kind of made her sad that the woman just took off when things got rough. After all that's what all the adults in her life seemed to do. But nonetheless she weighed her options and let the curiosity of the woman overtake her. She sent off her own text
'You didn't have to leave, but I get it. You're scared. And I'm not sorry for calling you a bitch either. You weren't a very good mom, and that really sucks for my mom. But whatever. I'm not telling her about the interview. She'd probably kill you AND me. I guess we have a secret now. I hope we can talk and stuff. And maybe if you can come back when you're not busy we can hang out? Or if I'm ever in New York or something that'd be cool.'
Victoria got the notification before her plane took off. She looked at it and scoffed, but couldn't hide the smile that creeped onto her face. She closed the text and opened the pictures on her phone. She had taken a picture of a photo Brooke had in her office. It was Brooke holding Sam's hair back as Sam blew out her fourteen candles. She stared at it and her heart ached. She never did that for Brooke.
Before her eyes could well up she thrust the phone back into her purse. New York was calling her name.
Hope y'all liked it! I hope people were happy with how the whole "interview" thing was dealt with! Brooke is in the dark, but really Victoria's purpose for the interview wasn't malice. So hopefully y'all can forgive her! Moving on, Victoria won't be the focus of the chapters, although the relationship between the two will build throughout.
Please review! Tell me what you think :) I love you all for your wonderful words. You all consistently make me the happiest person ever!