There's a lot going on in this chapter. But I hope I tied it together well enough for you. New York is in the next chapter, promise! Also, there is a flashback to Sam's past punishment in a foster home. Thought I'd warn y'all!
Brooke looked out the window of her office building, the coffee cup she was holding warming her hands. She felt so angry, sad even. Her and Lucas had just gotten into a pretty major argument that morning, and the worst part was Sam had heard it. Sam. Her child.
Did you forget you have a kid at home? Or is that damn modeling show your new baby?
Brooke felt a tear roll down her cheek and wiped it away quickly.
"Meeting in five Brooke." Millie said popping her head into the office.
Brooke nodded and then heard the door click. She took one last sip of her coffee and a deep breath to compose herself. For work's sake she would have to try hard to push back her tumultuous emotions. The very thought of putting work first in that moment made her sigh. Luke was right. It was this very fucking meeting that had made her yell when she shouldn't have. God, she was so stupid. Sam hadn't deserved that. Her kid was a damn saint. Sam had taken the past weeks in strides. Brooke felt a sob bundle up in her throat.
"Brooke." Millie's head popped in once more.
"Give me a minute Millie." Brooke said a tad frustrated.
"New York just conferenced in." Millie said more gently. She noticed her friend's watery eyes, "I'll tell them you'll be there in ten. I'll have Rebecca start the meeting for you." She walked in and then opened a box of tissues in a cabinet and put them in front of her friend, "I love you Brooke." She said softly then walked out.
Lucas sat at a red light staring with a grimace at the street in front of him. He wanted to punch a wall, break some glass. His mind went to the hotel room and the broken vase he had seen that Sam broke in anger. 'She got that from me.' He thought.
Home had been crazy for three weeks with Brooke's spring showcase. Sam was being snapped at constantly. The girl's energy and sarcasm didn't bode well with a tired, stressed, and frazzled Brooke.
Sam I'm not dealing with your sarcasm right now.
Be serious Sam!
I'm tired sweetheart. I'm sorry.
Samantha! Bed. Now.
I don't have time for this Sam. Let's go!
Lucas understood it was stress, and made sure to tell Sam that as well. Sam told him it was okay. She understood. She had to understand. What else could she do?
And so Sam was wise to stay out of her mom's way.
Mama's busy.
Mama's tired.
Leave her alone. Don't be a dumbass around her.
Sam would remind herself of these things.
It'll be over soon. Besides, New York's almost here!
She kept telling herself.
New York would be fun. This was just the worst part. The long days would be over soon and they could go back to their normal state.
But regardless, Lucas watched as his daughter retreated into herself and became a bit more subdued around the house. Then when he walked into Sam's room and saw her sucking her thumb for the third night in a row he knew it was time for him to confront Brooke. He just needed to figure out how.
He hadn't meant for it to happen the way it did. He didn't want to do it so brusquely and unexpectedly but he couldn't control himself.
Sam sat at the counter quietly and watched as her mother shuffled in and out of her office getting everything ready for some meeting. She felt her dad kiss the top of her head, "Morning baby." He said with a smile, "What's mom up to?" Lucas watched as Brooke read and reread a document.
Sam shrugged, "That big meeting is today." He furrowed his eyebrows, "Gotcha." He had known that. She had stayed up all night preparing for it. Making it to bed at around 2 in the morning.
She turned to Lucas, "Are you sure I can't go with you after school?"
He gave her a sympathetic smile, "I'm sorry champ. It's a mandatory coach retreat. I can't miss it and no kids are allowed, no matter how absolutely amazing said kid might be."
Sam chuckled, "I just don't want mom to bite my head off."
He winked at her, "Just keep your remarks on a leash little miss sarcasm."
Sam bit her lip and nodded, I'll try."
"I'll be back by nine or ten."
"That's the whole day."
"I know." He groaned.
Brooke went over to them both and pecked their cheeks quickly, "I'm heading out soon guys. Sammy, are you staying after school today?"
Sam nodded in the affirmative, "We have glee."
"Call me when you're done. I want you outside when I or Millie get there. Got it?"
Sam sipped her coffee and nodded, "Okay." Normally Sam would just go home, but she had a visit with Lopez after her practice and Brooke was going to take her since Lucas was unavailable.
A few minutes later Lucas was at the door waiting for Sam so they could get to school. Sam ran down the stairs to catch up with her dad when she remembered that she had left her book for Haley's class in Brooke's office.
"I need to get my book." She told Lucas changing directions, but in her haste she didn't notice her mom coming out of the office and crashed right into her, causing the iced coffee in Brooke's hands to fall all over both of them and on the papers Brooke was holding.
Sam froze.
"Shit. Sam!" Brooke hissed.
"Mom I-"
"Samantha what the hell were you doing?" She asked in frustration, "How many times have I told you to stop running in the house?! Look what happened. These are important papers! Oh my God." She said looking over her drenched papers, "This is just fucking perfect." She mumbled to herself. Though Sam heard it. "Now I have to change." She looked at Sam, " And so do you. Get upstairs now." She ordered.
"Mama.."
"Stop talking and GO! Now Sam." Brooke pointed to the stairs exasperated.
Sam didn't move. She felt caught like a deer in headlights.
"I swear to God Samantha, start moving!" What in God's name was wrong with her daughter, that she couldn't follow a simple instruction?
"It was an accident!" The girl finally sputtered in her defense.
"Samantha you're making me late on top of everything else! I don't want to talk to you about this. I want you upstairs to change." She gritted her teeth, "Go. NOW!"
Sam felt tears threaten to fall so she turned to run upstairs, passing Lucas who had heard most of the exchange and was gunning towards Brooke himself.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" He said pointing at the stairs that their daughter had just run up.
Brooke rolled her eyes. Did anyone in the house understand that she did. not. have. time.?
"I have to go change." She made a move to walk but he grabbed her arm. She looked at him dangerously, "Let me go Lucas."
It was a standoff now. They both knew it.
"Did you not see that you made her cry?" He seethed.
Brooke scoffed, "Oh for God's sake!" The woman was exasperated. Could she please just leave and get to work?
"She's a teenage girl Luke! Anything can make her cry."
He let her go, "Look, I know there is a lot of stress on you especially because the contract with the first modeling agency fell through, but you need to calm down because this is affecting Sam!"
"I am not-" She said suddenly feeling defensive, "Hurting my daughter."
"You made her CRY over some spilled coffee. It was a damn accident! You didn't have to be so harsh. Actually you've been practically nonexistent around here for weeks Brooke. Did you know your daughter's been sucking her thumb this whole week? Because her mama has not had one conversation with her that hasn't involved her getting snapped at. Did you know that? Or have you not bothered to go into her room to at least say goodnight? You would've known if you did. Have you even noticed her carrying around her blanket throughout the house at night? She only does that when something's bothering her Brooke, and it's been you! That's why she's upset!"
"What're you accusing me of?" Her eyes narrowed, but this didn't stop the angry father.
"Have you noticed any of this? Because all you do when you come home is go into your office. You've been too wrapped up in your fucking work to care! Did you forget you have a kid at home? Or is that damn modeling show your new baby?"
Brooke felt his words hit her hard, but she was far too amped up to let herself become emotional. She was suddenly thankful that she had clothes in her car.
"Lucas get the hell out of my way. I'm leaving."
He tightened his fists at his sides, "That's right, leave Brooke. Go to work. Go be the great fashionista you are. I'll go see if OUR daughter is okay."
"Oh bullshit!" She yelled, "I love Sam more than my own my life. Don't try that shit on me Lucas. Fashion shows are the most stressful times for me and I'd appreciate it if you had my back on this! It's a couple weeks that I've been swamped. Let me catch a fucking break. I'm not superwoman!"
"No you're not." He said through gritted teeth, "But at least now I know that if it came down to work or your family, you'd choose your stupid fashion line!" The moment it left his mouth he knew he'd regret it. He knew it was uncalled for, and it wasn't fair.
Brooke's eyes bulged. That one was particularly hard. Her heart sagged. But she didn't let it show. He was wrong. So, so wrong. Is that what Lucas thought of her?
"Get out of my house." She practically growled at him.
"What?" Lucas was not expecting that.
"Out. Get the hell out of my house!" She was mad. So, so mad. And hurt. Angry. And STILL stressed.
"Brooke-"
"No. Get out. I don't want you here tonight."
He took a deep steadying breath and turned around. Brooke ran a shaky hand through her hair as she watched him go.
Lucas stopped walking when something came to view in his periphery. He turned and there was Sam sitting on the bottom steps, holding onto the banister. She hadn't gone to change. Sam was quiet and her face was pained as she looked at her father. Tears began to pool over.
"D-dad?" She whispered. Oh, how young she sounded to the father. What was once anger melted instantly at her meek voice.
Lucas couldn't have felt more worthless. How much had she heard? Their whole fight was about her and yet they had forgotten she was even there.
He grabbed Sam's backpack and slung it across his shoulder then went over and opened his arms which Sam gladly flung herself into, "Don't leave. I don't want you to leave." She pleaded in a whisper, "This is my fault, I'm sorry!" She tried to hold in her cries. She didn't want Brooke to hear and make her mother more upset. She didn't want Brooke to feel any worse.
Lucas rubbed her back, and looked up to see Brooke's pained face as the realization of what Sam had heard also hit her. Luke just scowled at her then looked back down at their upset daughter whose face was hidden in his chest.
Logically, in the back of her head Sam knew that this was just a fight. It happened to couples all the time, right? But her insecurities didn't allow her to see reason. She was afraid. Luckily her dad's soothing voice helped her get to that place of reason and truth.
"Shhh peanut. I'm not leaving you, don't worry. Mom and dad are still here for you. It was just a fight. Can you repeat that to me?"
Ms. Lopez had the parents have Sam repeat their words in moments where Sam's past bubbled up and caused her to slightly panic. The doctor knew it would calm the girl, and it was usually successful. Brooke and Lucas didn't have to deal with an outburst or tantrum in what felt like months.
Sam sniffed and felt her father rubbing her back, "You're not leaving me. You and Mom are still here for me."
"Finish it Sam." He whispered as he placed his chin on her head.
"It was just a fight."
Brooke held the tears and the sob wanting to escape her mouth as Lucas held Sam for a few more moments.
Lucas kissed her head one last time, "Come on baby we have to get you to school and I have to go to that retreat."
She slowly let him go.
Lucas gave her a small smile and wiped her cheeks with his thumb, "It'll be okay." Brooke was still frozen in place. Sam turned and saw her mother, but the girl quickly looked down with guilt written all over her face.
"Sweetheart." Brooke called her.
Sam tensed and wrung her hands, "I'm sorry for ruining your papers and your clothes. I won't run in the house anymore. Promise."
For her part, Brooke was recalling all the times her parents had fought in her presence. Which was a lot. The times her mother yelled at her when she was just projecting her work stress on a young Brooke.
No...was she becoming her mother? A workaholic? Constantly angry? Coldhearted?
Tears sprang in her eyes. She walked up to a nervous Sam and gave her a long hug then grabbed her gently by the shoulders, "I shouldn't have yelled."
Before she could say anything else Sam cut her off by looking away and mumbling out an "Okay." Sam really didn't want to do any of this at the moment, "I, I have to change." She gunned up the stairs.
Brooke could tell the quick apology wasn't enough, and they'd probably need to talk a little more, but each one of them had to get to their respective places.
Lucas looked at Brooke once Sam was up the stairs, "I'll stay with my mom tonight."
Brooke just nodded, though she wanted to fling herself into Lucas like their daughter had just done, "She heard us." Her voice was shaky, concern filling her words. Both of them felt their fight leave them after they had seen their daughter.
He gave a short nod, "I know Brooke." He stared deeply into her eyes, "We'll, umm...talk later. Are you still picking Sam up?"
"Nothing's changed Lucas. Of course I am."
"I'm just checking."
Luke then cleared his throat once Sam came back down, "Sam we have to get going and so does your mother. Let's go."
It was all so awkward and they all felt the necessity to just get out of the house.
Sam moved past her father to walk outside without another word to her mother.
God, why couldn't she have just not ran in the house? Why did she have to suck her thumb at night and carry her stupid blanket? She was such a baby sometimes! And now her parents were fighting because of it all!
Lucas glanced at his daughter on their way to school. She hadn't said a word since he got in. He noticed her rubbing her head. "Your head hurts?"
Sam shrugged, "No. I'm fine."
Actually, it did. It had started when she woke up and now it hurt a little more. She also felt her throat being a little achy, but she hoped she could ignore it and she'd be better once school started.
Lucas gripped the wheel and took a deep breath, "Champ, I don't know how much you heard, but I'm sorry you had to hear any of it. Nothing we said was meant as an attack on you, we were both mad. Your mother and I have been on eggshells with each other and I lost it when she yelled at you...again."
"You're still mad." Sam pointed out, though quietly.
"What?" Lucas asked. He wasn't sure if he had heard her right or not as she was so quiet.
Sam turned to look at him, "You said 'were' mad but you're still mad at mom aren't you?"
Lucas just stayed quiet. The light was green. Thank God.
Sam leaned her head on the window, "That's what I thought." She mumbled.
After some silence Sam spoke up once more, "Did you really think that?"
Lucas turned to look at her, "Think what?"
She sat up from the window, "You said she'd choose work over family. That's not true. I know mom's been busy and in a bad mood but I don't think work is more important for her. You don't really think that, do you?"
He closed his eyes for a second and breathed deeply, "I regretted it the moment I said it."
That made Sam breathe easier. She was glad he hadn't meant it. Her voice caught suddenly when her mother's words of 'Get the hell out' came to mind.
"Hey." Lucas said reading her mind, "Remember what I said? We'll be okay."
Sam nodded and leaned her head back on the window. God, it really hurt. Hopefully Liz or Manny had painkillers or she'd just go to the nurse.
"Are you sure you can't pick me up?" She asked with puppy dog eyes.
I mean, she felt for her mother deeply, but she also didn't want to deal with her mother. She was a bit upset about getting yelled at and she really didn't feel like talking about it, which she was sure her mom would want to do. And it was just easier to ignore things than just face them head on. Teenage logic for you.
Lucas felt bad but he really couldn't pick her up, "I'm sorry baby."
Sam thought for a second. Haley was on detention duty, but another person came to mind, "What about Peyton?"
Lucas came through the parking lot and didn't say anything.
"Dad, what about aunt Peyton?" She tried again.
He wasn't sure Brooke would be too happy with Sam not going with her after school, but this wasn't his decision. This was Sam saying she wanted someone else with her.
"I'll call Aunt Peyton and talk to Millie to call off whoever your mom scheduled to pick you up." He said the last part a bit bitingly.
"Dad."
"What?"
"She's not here, you can chill."
He smiled a bit and bent over giving her a kiss, "Baby if Peyton says yes she'll also drop you off at the house since it's closer than your mom's office, is that okay? You'll be okay by yourself, right?"
"Yeah, I'll be okay. Can Liz come over?"
"Sure. No boys though." He gave her a hard look, "Can I trust you?"
She rolled her eyes, "Yes dad, I know."
"Good then. Get outta here. The bell just rang."
She gave him a quick peck on the cheek and headed in.
Sam now sat behind Liz and next to Manny trying to listen to Haley, but her head was really bugging her.
"Manny." She whispered.
He looked over. She then shot him a text and he checked his phone. He gave a quick nod and took out the advil he had and handed it to her. But then shot a text back,
'What Hurts?'
'My head. I think I'm getting sick.'
'Gonna see the nurse?'
'Nah. Don't want them to call my parents.'
He understood as much and looked over and gave her a small, sympathetic frown before turning his attention back to the front.
"Sam can you follow along?" Haley asked noticing Sam wasn't bothering to even pretend to be reading the same passage as everyone else.
"I forgot my book." She mumbled.
Haley raised an eyebrow at the girl and slowly walked over and gave Sam one of her extra copies. Sam looked up at her.
"Let me know earlier next time Ms. Walker."
"Will do Mrs. Scott." Sam said with a fake salute that got some laughs and an eye roll from Haley.
But by the end of the day Sam felt so much worse. Her lunch didn't sit well with her, and she felt congested. After much persuading on both Manny's and Liz's part Sam was now sitting out on their glee practice. Sam didn't mind it too much as Tamara had texted her using Jack's phone letting her know she wanted to talk to her. Sam agreed and told her to come to her school because she was there until 4:30pm. The moment school ended Sam walked out and saw Tamara sitting by the back entrance.
"Hey T." She called after, "What's up?"
Tamara was brought out from her thoughts at the call of her name when Sam got closer she frowned, "Whoah Sam. You look like shit."
"Gee thanks." She mumbled rather froggily, "I think I'm getting a cold or something. I'll probably call Peyton to pick me after this."
Tamara frowned at that. She used to take care of Sam a lot as kids when she was sick. She missed those days sometimes.
"Good. You sound like a dying goat or something."
Sam just smirked at her. "So really, what's up T?" Sam asked her again. Tamara sighed remembering why she had decided to come on a weekday to see Sam. She took a piece of paper out of her bag and handed it to Sam.
"Hey homeskillets." Liz said taking a seat next to them. Sam was too engrossed in the paper to pay any attention to Liz, but Tamara rose her eyebrow at the girl, "Please never say that again."
Liz shrugged, "Don't hate."
"Just stop." Tamara said laughing a bit now.
"What?"
"You think you're a thug or what?" Tamara asked amused with Liz's inability to sound tough.
But Sam put their banter to a stop, "T." She looked at her friend in complete awe. "Sh-she's in-"
"Long Island." Tamara finished.
Liz's eyes widened, "Oooh! I have a friend in Long Island. Who's in Long Island?"
"My mom." Tamara said bluntly.
Liz's excitement fell. She didn't know much about Tamara's past except that her mother was a druggie that she hadn't seen or heard of in a while. "Oh."
Sam held the discharge papers that read "Southside View Rehabilitation."
The document clearly stated that she had been cleared to go to rehab in Elmont New York. A poorer suburb within Long Island.
"How'd you get these?" She said looking at the papers again.
"Tim called Clydesville trying to talk to me."
"Your brother?" Sam said shocked.
Liz just listened. This wasn't her place to talk. Those two had a history that she could never share with them.
Tamara nodded, "Thrice talked to him for me then passed on the message. He said mom was at Southside View again and that if I wanted to see her I should."
"When'd you get that message?"
Tamara looked down and away, "Two days ago."
"You went today?"
"I skipped school to go. They told me some guy who was her 'fiance' was taking her to a rehab place in New York."
"I could've gone with you T." Sam said looking at her best friend earnestly.
Tamara shook her head, "Sam, you know that's not true."
"Why isn't it?" She asked breaking into a cough and wiping her nose with her sleeve.
Tamara knew why. Sam knew why. Even Liz knew why. She couldn't just leave anymore. Sam's life was different. Southside was becoming less and less of an occurrence. Tamara and Jack were the only fixtures of her past she truly kept.
Tamara could've said all that. She could've even said "Because that's not you anymore. Because you actually do normal lame kid stuff now, like Glee practice and the Spanish club. And you talked to me about college the other day and you've never done that before."
But instead Tamara went with something more generic , "Your parents would've killed you."
Sam cleared her throat to try and sound less congested, "Yeah...you're right." But she read through the lines. She knew what Tamara really meant to say.
Tamara took the document from Sam's hands, "So are you thinking about New York then? Coming with us and seeing her then?"
Tamara looked a bit embarrassed but nodded anyway, "I know it's a lot to ask Sammy, but do you think your mom would let me go with you guys? Liz you're going right?"
Liz was unsure of what she was supposed to say. She couldn't read if Sam wanted Tamara there or not, "Umm, yeah. I'm going with my mom."
Sam frowned, "I don't know if Brooke would let you go see your mom though. She probably wouldn't want you to go alone and she'd be too busy to go with you. Actually she was super reluctant to let me go too. I don't know. She's just like crazy stressed now. I just don't know T." Sam felt horrible for letting her friend down. The friend that was there for her through everything. The one that suffered for her at times. No, Sam wouldn't do that to her. She needed to be there for her.
"Well wait, what if I buy your ticket?"
Liz and Tamara both looked at her crazy, "What?"
"I have money saved, remember? I can buy your ticket and then I'll tell Brooke and Lucas that you bought your ticket and that you were planning on staying with one of our old friends from the group home. You have to make sure your foster mom's okay with it so then Brooke can't go all mom mode on you and call her and ruin it for us. They'll probably be upset and guess that we planned on you buying your ticket and stuff, but they can't turn you away if you're in New York and would never let you stay with someone they don't know so they'd be forced to have you stay with us." Sam wore a triumphant smile. A smile that broke by an unfortunate sneeze.
"Sam you're serious?" Liz asked.
The girl shrugged, "Why not?"
Tamara smiled and engulfed her in a hug.
"So how are you actually going to see your mom?" Liz asked, "I doubt Aunt Brooke's going to let you roam around New York like that. Are you just planning on telling her?"
"No!" Both girls said. In truth, this was something that held them together. This part of their past it was a bond. They had to do this together and without the threat of parental authority looming over them.
"We'll just sneak away somehow." Sam was in deep thought trying to figure out just how they'd do it.
Liz really wanted to help the two out, "Well I was planning on visiting my friend in Long Island."
The other two felt hope with this development.
"Why don't you guys just come with me for the day trip and then go check out the rehab place. Elmont's like a short bus ride from where my friend's at."
It was Liz's turn to feel one of Tamara's bone crushing hugs. She had never gotten one before and was taken aback, "You're serious Liz?"
Liz gave her a small smile, "I know I don't understand a lot of what you've been through Tamara, but I'm always willing to help a friend."
Sam gave Liz a wide smile, "Liz you're awesome. See T? This'll work out. I'll check the price online then give you the money. You just have to convince your foster mom to buy the ticket for you and you just give her the cash."
Tamara shrugged, "That won't be hard. Camille's pretty chill about letting me do what I want as long as I'm not stupid and get caught."
Tamara groaned as she pulled out Jack's phone, which she had for the day. Speak of the devil. Camille was calling it.
"Hello...yeah it's T...Jack let me borrow it...You looking for me anyways right?...Tree Hill to see Sammy.."
Sam and Liz watched as Tamara rolled her eyes and only gave out yes's and no's. She eventually hung up the phone. "I gotta go guys. Ricky's sick and I have to watch him 'cause Camille got called in to work at 5:00."
Liz turned to Sam, "Sam you're sick too. Weren't you supposed to be calling Peyton to get her to pick you up?" She rose her eyebrow at her friend.
"Are you my mom now?" Sam scoffed.
Tamara stood up and gave Sam a hug, "Call her Sam. You're sick. You sound horrible and look it too."
Sam just let out a huffed 'fine.'
… …. ….
"Hey Sam. 4:00, right?" Came Peyton's voice as soon as she picked up the phone call from Sam.
Sam gave a small scuff to the floor with her foot, "Umm, I actually don't feel good. Can you pick me up now?"
Peyton felt herself freeze up a bit. A sick kid? Not necessarily her forte, and for a split second she wondered if she could get Haley to skip out on detention duty to deal with it. She'd just never had to deal with that. Brooke usually took care of a sick Jamie when Haley and Nathan had to work and such, but this was Sam and she loved the girl. Plus, her and Julian were thinking about trying for a child and she might as well get some practice in, right? And once more, this was Sammy. The adorable kid that she grew to love. So she pushed whatever nerves she had and agreed, "Of course. What's wrong?"
"My head hurts and my throat feels achy and I don't know I think it's a cold or something."
"Alright, I'll be at the front in ten, okay? I'll let Millie know to tell your mother and to have her call Lopez and cancel your visit with her. I'll call Lucas."
"Peyton, no." Sam groaned, "Mom's busy. I, I don't want her to leave because of me. Just leave it, please." She figured her dad wouldn't be crazy enough to drive all the way from the retreat four hours away.
Lucas had told Peyton what happened and she had a suspicion it was why Sam had wanted her and not Brooke to pick her up. She also figured Sam was upset at her mother for the undeserved morning scolding as well as the accumulated bad days they've had.
"Don't worry Sammy. I'll make sure your mom understands it's nothing we can't deal with on our own. Ten minutes, alright?"
"Yes m'am." Sam said her headache raging on once more.
Liz was looking at her friend sympathetically.
Sam threw her phone in her bag then looked at Liz, "What? Why are you staring at me like that?" She put a hand to her head again.
"Something up with you and Aunt Brooke?"
Sam sighed, "She's just been stressed lately and she kinda yelled at me this morning and Lucas and her got in a fight. It's a fucking mess."
Liz put an arm around her and they walked towards the front, "My mom's been stressed too, but it'll be over soon. It always gets like this during the spring showcase. Trust me. I've had to deal with the bitchy version of my mom around this time for like, ever." But Liz also knew her friend had insecurities that she didn't have. She cleared her throat and spoke more firmly, "Sammy?"
"Yeah?" The girl answered in between her thoughts.
"You know she loves you like a shit ton, right?"
Sam gave her friend an earnest smile and then broke into a cough, "I know. I love her too."
Liz gave Sam a quick hug and told her she hoped she felt and looked better tomorrow, only getting a long groan from Sam.
…. …. ….
Peyton now had Sam sitting on the couch. As Sam suspected she broke into a fever an hour after getting home, Peyton almost fainted when she saw the 102.1 on the thermometer. Sam gave her a weak chuckle and told her she wouldn't die because of it.
Peyton was looking through the cupboards for medicine to give the sick girl. She would've really liked to give her something to make her sleep but Sam insisted DayQuil was enough. Peyton figured she'd let the girl have that round and then give her the NyQuil three hours from then.
She walked into the living room and saw as Sam had wrapped herself in two blankets despite her flushed and sweaty face and was holding tightly onto her teddy bear and had her own blanket snuggled close to her neck as she watched the Fairly Odd Parents DVD her mother had brought all that time ago.
Peyton could tell the small girl was feeling something awful as she sat next to her and handed her a few tissues to blow her now runny nose and then handed her the medicine to take. Sam sat up and quickly drank it, grimacing at the taste.
Peyton was about to get up but Sam stopped her, "Stay with me?" She said through a sniffle.
Peyton brought a tissue up to Sam's nose and wiped it gently, "Okay, come on lay your head on my lap."
Sam nodded and gladly basked in the comfort. She was glad to have Peyton there. She hadn't really gotten a chance to cuddle with Brooke in a while. Although her mother did still come in early in the morning to hold her for a minute or so before starting the day. Sam loved that part of her day. Some days it was even her favorite part.
After a few minutes Peyton felt Sam tense all of a sudden and jump up gunning towards the restroom.
"Sammy, what's wrong?" Peyton said heading to the restroom quickening her pace when she heard the retching sound in the bathroom.
"Oh honey." She cooed bending down to hold Sam's hair back and rubbing her back as Sam threw up the contents of her lunch that day. Peyton stood up and grabbed a hair band on the counter to tie the girl's hair back. She felt Sam lean her back onto her legs, "Can I just stay sitting here." She moped as she wiped the tears in her eyes. She never knew why she ended up crying a little when throwing up. She couldn't help it. "I feel like shit."
Peyton frowned, "Language Sam." She scolded though gently.
Sam just coughed out a 'sorry' in return.
"Let me tie your hair back sweetheart." Peyton gently moved Sam from her legs and kneeled on the floor to perform her task.
She decided it was best to call Brooke once more and see what to do. Her decision was confirmed when the girl thrust her head back into the toilet to vomit what was now only stomach acid.
Peyton then helped her up and half walked and carried Sam back to the couch mindful of bringing a bucket...just in case.
"I'll be back sweetheart."
Sam could only croak out an okay and tried to focus on the two fairies dancing around on the screen. She knew the medicine was working as her fever was settling down.
Meanwhile after a conversation with a now worried Brooke, Peyton was phoning the girl's pediatrician. Brooke told her where she could find the doctor's information and told Peyton to make an appointment with them as soon as possible. If it was today she would take off work to get her to the doctor. Peyton explained she would gladly take her if that was the case, but Brooke was adamant.
Brooke also decided it was time to swallow her pride and call Lucas and let him know he could home if he wanted since Sam was sick, and she knew they needed to talk it out. The mother had regretted kicking him out the moment she did it.
They were both being immature that morning and both knew it. Like Karen so kindly put it after talking to Lucas, both of them needed to put their "big kid pants on and talk like adults" because unlike their actions demonstrated, they had a child, they were not the children.
A way with words, that woman.
When Peyton called the doctor the receptionist informed her that there was a slot for Sam first thing in the morning, but instructed Peyton to give the teenager some pedialyte to rehydrate her, and crackers as she'd probably be unable to keep things down. But warned her that if the fever spiked to 104 to take her to the emergency room or if she became severely dehydrated. She also told Peyton it was probably a stomach flu that had been passing around lately.
Once Peyton hung up the phone she felt overwhelmed. Lucas was too far away to get there anytime earlier than nine, but she wished Brooke would get home soon. But Brooke told her if the doctor's appointment was for tomorrow she'd be home by 7:30 but that she wanted to talk to Sam and would call her in an hour.
Peyton checked the clock. It was only 4:45. She hoped to God Sam's body didn't decide to spazz within the three hours she had left to care for the girl.
"Hey Sammy. Looks like you might have the stomach flu. You're going to the doctor tomorrow. Okay?" Peyton came from the kitchen looking more confident than she felt. But the cutie on the couch needed her, so she'd swallow her insecurity.
Sam let out a wet cough and nodded.
"Your mom's gonna call in a few to talk to you."
When Peyton sat down Sam immediately cuddled into her, "Mama's busy though" Sam mumbled, "Tell her not to worry."
Peyton could definitely tell the girl's inhibitions were waning. 'You are so cute when you're sick.' The woman thought.
"Well you can tell her that when she calls. But she was pretty set on calling you."
"Did you talk to dad?"
"Sure did. He's calling you in two hours or so since he wants you to rest for now. He was just about to ditch the whole retreat when I told him you had a fever. I swear it's like I told him you were dying. "
Sam laughed a bit. Lucas was a worry wart behind that cool exterior. Having a daughter truly revealed that side of him.
Peyton just shook her head in amusement, "Your dad's crazy sometimes. I told him I had it under control and not to worry but he said he'd call on his break which is in two hours."
Sam nuzzled her teddy bear under her chin. Like a true teenager, Sam loved and hated that her parents were so attentive.
"Peyton?" Sam squirmed a bit.
"What's up?" Peyton asked worried she would say something along the lines of:
My appendix is about to explode!
"They fought today." Sam admitted quietly through a hoarse voice after some time.
Sam always liked talking to Peyton about this kind of stuff. Her insecurities. She was her second choice if her parents weren't around. Haley could do sometimes, but Haley was also a lot stricter than Peyton. She felt she could joke with Peyton around more.
The woman began to comb her fingers through the girl's hair, "Your dad told me." She said softly.
"I've never seen them do that." She sniffled and wiped her nose with her sleeve, "Use the tissue Sammy." Peyton grabbed a few and put it in her hands.
"They'll work it out. You know that right?"
Sam blew her nose and shivered again. It seemed the fever was creeping back, "I know they will. They're crazy about each other."
"But?" Peyton knew there was a 'but' to that statement. One Sam was reluctant to share with her.
Sam squirmed once more. " But nothing."
"Sammy, you wouldn't be upset if there wasn't a 'but' to this now tell your Aunt Peyton what it is."
Sam felt her heart warm. She loved it when Peyton called herself 'Aunt.' Haley and Peyton were more than her parent's friends to her. They were family.
"...but it scared me." She felt a tear fall down her cheek, "I'm mad that it scared me Peyton." She quickly wiped the stray tear away.
Peyton moved so she could look into the sick girl's eyes, "Hey now. Why would that make you mad?"
God, it was like those eyes were pouting at Peyton. Did Sam's eyes always look like that, or was it because she was sick?
"I shouldn't still be scared. I shouldn't still have all those dumb feelings creep up on me when something normal like parents fighting happens."
Peyton rubbed Sam's knee in comfort, "It's okay for it to scare you Sammy. You've been through a lot. We all know that. The type of things you've seen and gone through, that doesn't just go away overnight."
Sam sighed in frustration, "It's almost been a year. It's been eight almost nine months. I want to stop getting scared because of stuff that's happened to me."
Peyton laid a hand on Sam's knee, "Sweetheart, nine months is not a lot of time in the grand scheme of things. Don't be so hard on yourself."
Sam looked away, "I just want to forget all of it. Lopez has helped me a lot but then I remember stuff and I freak out and then I just...I hate being so difficult! I hate that I make my dad worry so much about me that he has to fight with mom because of it. I hate that Brooke being busy makes me so sad, you know? Because I mentally get it. She's a super hot shot and has huge stuff to do for work and I understand it, but at the same time I get sad and I can't help it. I hate that I always want them to hold me. I want to be okay with not needing that….but I do. I need it. I'm just a stupid kid. Some stupid baby."
Peyton pulled the girl who by now had tears freely falling from her cheeks into a hug. She felt the warmth from a fever again and knew she'd need more medicine soon, but for now she'd comfort the small, sick girl.
"Shhh." She rocked her gently, "You are not stupid. Samantha, you are incredibly strong and you needing that comfort from your parents is okay. You're only fourteen, and you didn't have anyone to do that for you for most of your life, of course you crave it. Nobody is holding it against you and nobody thinks you're a baby because of it."
Brooke and Lucas had explained to Peyton a few weeks ago what Lopez told them about Sam and the current converstion she was having with the girl reminded her of it.
Lopez had sat the parents down in her office a month ago to give the parents a quick report on Sam.
"Your daughter came to you in some ways emotionally underdeveloped. Comfort and safety are two basic things that children need to grow at a steady pace. Think of it as a foundation. Without that the rest of the building is shaky and unsure. Metaphorically, that shaky building is Sam's emotional state. Sam seemed to have received comfort and safety within the foster system in erratic bursts of time, only to have snatched it away from her. Her already being a naturally sensitive child combined with the lack of trust where parental authority is concerned will mean that she will need a lot of you, more than a typical teenager. Please be patient with her. We'll be working on her tantrums or breakdowns brought about by her trauma, but I urge that you be keenly aware of her feelings. She will be okay. It's just currently she seems to think that by now she should be completely over everything."
"What, why?" Lucas asked with an edge to his voice. He hated to think that Sam felt that way.
"Calm down. We're working on that as well." The therapist assured them, "You just continue to love her up and make sure never to make her feel like her need for you is misplaced or wrong." The therapist told the worried parents in front of her.
Sam stayed quiet letting Peyton's words of assurance soak in.
"What're you thinking kid?" Peyton broke the silence interspersed with sniffles and coughing from Sam.
Sam slowly pulled herself from Peyton's embrace and went back to leaning on the woman's side, "I wish my life started out normal." The girl whispered almost to herself.
Peyton gave her a sad glance, "Samantha look at me for a sec."
Sam sighed before staring up at her.
"There is no such thing as 'normal.'" Peyton started looking into the bright blue eyes that Lucas had given her, "Our lives, our circumstances they are all unique. We all cope and deal with the hand that we've been dealt. Kiddo, I wish with all my heart that your life would've been, not normal, but easier, I truly truly do. But at the end of the day I am so grateful that you're in our lives. You are Samantha Walker, soon to be Scott once your parents decide to stop being idiots and marry one another."
Sam chuckled at that and mumbled out an 'agreed.'
Peyton gave her a wink and continued, "You're here with us now and we can only move on up from that sweetheart. One day when you're older you're going to look back and realize that all of your life's events ended up in this totally rad and amazing person. I know this because you're already a really cool kid."
Sam gave Peyton a smile that met her eyes, "Thanks Peyton." She said softly.
The girl rarely brought up her past any longer unless she was with Lopez. She was trying hard to move on, but when she did bring it up, the adults in her life didn't shy away from reassuring her it was all okay. They understood moving on took time and there would be moments that would force Sam to remember some part of her past, to bring some memory back, something to make her think back. But it was okay. Sam knew it. She had a family now. And she was happy. Truly happy.
"I love you kid." Peyton kissed the top of her head.
"I love you too."
But Sam couldn't lie she would have really like to be in Brooke's arms right now. All upset feelings towards her mother were out the window once that fever came. She was unsure of Lucas though and that pained the girl even more. She loved her dad to death, but there was this faint uneasiness as she remembered the last time a man tried to care for her when she was sick.
Sam shuddered at the thought of the nasty paddling she had gotten from her foster father after she had woken up to a wet bed and high fever when she was eight. These were the drug addicted foster parents that Brooke and Lucas read about in the case report. They kept their addiction well hidden as it was painkillers that they took and usually left them dazed enough to not care about much, but still aware enough to be productive. However, on weekends they enjoyed to drink and Sam knew it was wise to stay away from them on Saturday and Sunday nights.
However this particular weekend was different. Her foster mother was at work that Saturday morning, but Tom, her foster father, had gotten a rare morning off. Normally Sam would get to spend Saturdays on her own with Tamara and Jack, but the night before she had gotten sick.
Sam had woken up to her flickering lights nightmare with a yelp that startled her foster father who was in the living room, completely sober. A rarity. When he went in and discovered a crying kid sitting atop a wet bed, he was disgusted. That kid was going to learn today. Ruth had been too soft on her.
He grabbed a plastic brush from the floor and put it on the bed. He then dragged the young Sam out of bed and stripped the child of her shirt and pulled off her pants and panties.
"Tom, no! I'm naked." She cried. He had never seen her naked. Only Ruth, her foster mother had. What was he doing? Thrice told her no adult should see her like that except her foster mommy, a nurse or doctor, and Thrice herself…And now she was extremely cold and shaking.
"You wet the bed like some three year old, why can't I treat you like one?" He snorted, "Three year olds don't care if their daddies see them naked."
He then grabbed the brush and held Sam by one arm as he paddled her bare backside "Don't think I don't know about your little accidents." He said between her cries and pleas. "Ruth's told me you've done it before! You are too old to be wetting the bed Samantha! You are eight years old, not a baby!"
"I'm sorry!" A little Sam cried and jumped each time the plastic object bit into her.
Soon those cries turned into sobs as the brush kept going down on her without stopping.
"Should Ruth put you in a diaper at night? Would you like that Sam, huh?! All that washing is just extra work for her, you know that!"
"I won't do it again!" She sobbed.
She knew Tom was mad and was probably just saying the first thing that came to mind the way he did with her foster mother when they fought, but sometimes he would follow through with his threats, like the time he gave their dog away for barking too much.
He pulled Sam into the bathroom all the while continuing the punishment.
"Get in the shower now!" He ordered slamming the brush on the counter. Sam saw the frustration in his eyes and nodded quickly though she was still trying to calm her crying and hiccups as she simultaneously wiped at her tears and tried to rub the sting from her bottom.
When she got out of the shower the bedding was stripped and Tom had left her medicine to take. She was grateful that he had noticed the fever even though he didn't mention anything.
He came in later and threw new sheets on the bed.
"Get those on there, okay? Did you take the medicine?"
"Yes sir." Sam's voice was meek. Her bottom still stung awful. The shower had felt horrible on her reddened backside. She never wanted to feel that again.
"Good." His voice was no longer menacing. She sensed he was calmer.
'He probably took his pills.' The girl thought. Sam noticeably relaxed. She loved those pills because they made him turn nice. He would even let her cuddle with him sometimes.
"You lay down in bed and get some sleep Sammy. You got a fever but the medicine will help. But if you wake up to another wet bed that brush will be the least of your troubles. Understood?"
Sam didn't know what that meant but she muttered another 'yes sir.' She saw the belt in his loops and remembered being six and the belt they used on her. Is that what he meant? Or was it the diaper threat?
The click of the door brought the little sick girl from her thoughts. She was too scared to sleep on the bed and end up having another accident so she slept on the floor and put down towels. She was freezing cold, but refused to cover herself and wet the new sheets.
The next day Sam threw that plastic brush away and a ten-year-old Tamara got to stay over and she told Sam she'd kick Tom's ass and hit him right in the nuts if he came in and tried to hit Sam again. That made an eight-year-old Sam feel much better.
. …. …. …..
Brooke had finally gotten out of her final meeting for the day now she only needed to finish up some mock ups to send to New York and then she'd be able to get home and comfort her sick child.
In the morning she was saddened to hear the message that Sam wanted Peyton to pick her up, but didn't rock the boat. She had kinda sorta dropped the ball that morning.
She felt her phone ringing and froze. Was it Peyton telling her she needed to take Sam to the hospital?
Quickly she looked at the caller ID and felt relief wash over, but then a bit of curiosity. Why would Tamara be calling her? She looked at her work and inwardly sighed. She hoped the girl didn't want to talk for too long because she also promised Peyton she'd call in an hour. That was fifteen minutes ago.
"Hi Tamara, is something wrong?" Brooke asked after accepting the call.
"Sam is sick." Tamara spoke ever so bluntly.
"I know that."
"So you're home with her right?" There was a bitchy edge to the girl's voice, and Brooke instinctively knew that protective Tamara was on the phone with her. The one that eight months ago handed her Sam's blankie and teddy bear. This wasn't Sam's friend on the phone with her, but Sam's ex caretaker.
Brooke groaned and sighed all at once to herself, "Peyton is with her right now. I had some work that I couldn't get out of, but I will be there by 7 Tamara. Don't worry. She's in good hands."
Tamara cursed under her breath, 'Fuck.'
But Brooke heard her and couldn't help the mom in her creep out, "Language, young lady."
"Look, the only reason I'm not with Sam is because I had to take care of Ricky because Camille's at work."
"Okay." Brooke knew there was more though. There had to be more.
"Luke's not getting there before you, is he?"
Brooke furrowed her eyebrow, "No. He's getting home late tonight."
"So are you." Tamara pointed out, "You have a kid, now. You should be with her."
Brooke was not having it from a teenager, "And I said I will be there." Brooke spoke more firmly, "I really hope you're not questioning my priorities or telling me what I should and should not be doing. I get that you took care of her Tamara, but that's my job now, and I'm doing a damn good job of it. Nothing you say will make me doubt that."
Tamara felt Brooke's words pierce into her, but she knew the woman was right.
"Okay Supermom. I'm just letting you know that Sam might not want Luke to take care of her."
"Why?" Brooke asked suddenly curious.
"Sam didn't tell you Supermom?"
"Tamara, Lose the attitude."
"Fine." The girl huffed, "She just, she didn't have a pleasant encounter with one of her foster dads when he had to take care of her when she was sick."
Brooke's heart fell. There was Sam's past creeping up on them, yet again.
"Which one?" Her voice was softer.
"Tom."
'The pill popping drunk.' Brooke thought. She estimated her baby was about eight years old when it happened as she was with them from the time she turned eight until she was around nine and a half.
She didn't want to ask, but she had to. "What happened?"
Tamara sighed and took a moment to decide whether she'd tell Brooke or not.
"She, umm...Sam, she had a fever and she wet the bed. He stripped her and paddled her hard with a hairbrush. She was so scared that she slept on the floor so he wouldn't hit her again if she wet the bed for like a week. She's been pretty unsure of foster dads that try and help her when she's sick."
Brooke felt a shuddering breath leave her and she looked to the ceiling as tears pricked at her eyes. Why was the world so cruel to her kid? She moved her head back down and spoke once more, "Tamara, Luke would never do that. I'm sure Sam knows that."
"I'm sure she does, but don't feel bad, well he shouldn't feel bad if she's a little scared. Don't make her be around him if she doesn't want to!"
Brooke pinched the bridge of her nose, "It'll be fine Tamara. I promise. We'll be mindful."
That sufficed for the girl on the other line, "She's clingy when she's sick."
"You told me that before."
"Make sure to hold her. It doesn't matter if you get sick too, just hold her, okay?"
Brooke wished she could have the girl in front of her so she could look her in the eye and assure her that everything would just be fine. She'd taken care of Peyton when she was sick, Jamie, Julian, Luke. She knew how to do this.
"Tamara I promise you that I will, okay? I have to get back to work so I could get to Sammy, is there anything else you want to tell me before I go?"
Tamara thought for a moment, "When I was sick I used to wish out loud for a lifetime supply of ice-cream that would make my itchy throat and fever feel better. When Sam was sick she'd wish that she knew who her mom was so she could hold her…"The girl trailed off at the end, "Well she always wished for that."
Brooke could only suppress the emotions bubbling up inside of her.
"I'm glad she got her wish." The girl said now more softly, even a bit distant.
"Thank you Tamara." Was all the emotional woman could say.
"Okay, well, I, umm" Tamara felt flustered, "I gotta go."
"Tamara?"
"Yeah, what?"
Brooke let a smile befall her lips, "The next time you're sick I'll make sure to bring you mint chocolate icecream."
Tamara smiled, "Thanks."
"Bye sweetheart. I love you."
Tamara couldn't help but feel her heart constrict. Brooke always ended their calls like that now.
"Ditto. Bye Brooke."
Tamara closed her phone and put it in her pocket. She walked to her brother's room where she could hear crying. She walked happily. Mint chocolate was her favorite ice cream and Brooke Davis remembered her saying that. Brooke Davis was a good mother. She held the little boy in her lap and kissed the top of his head like she saw Brooke and Lucas do with Sam sometimes. She suddenly felt guilt when she though of how they'd have to sneak around the two to get to her mom, but all Tamara really wanted was the same wish Sam had. Her mother to hold her.
…. …. ….
After their talk Sam and Peyton both went back to watching TV but were taken away from the mindless task when Sam's phone rang. She already knew it was her mother.
"Hello?" Her voice croaked and she quickly cleared it.
Brooke frowned on the other end, "Hi Peanut. How're you feeling?" Her kid sounded horrible!
Hearing her mother's voice brought tears to her eyes. 'Damn it!' Sam thought to herself.
She sniffled the tears away. Peyton knew that feeling. She remembered just wanting her mother when she was sick. There was something about a mother's touch.
"I think my fever came back." Sam said composing herself, "When're you coming home mama?"
Oh God, how did parents deal with sick kids? Her daughter's small and sick voice made her feel awful! "I'll be home soon princess. 7:30 the latest."
Sam coughed a heavy, wet cough that made both Brooke and Peyton cringe, "Did you already drink some pedialyte sweetheart? Peyton told me you threw up some and the doctor recommended it."
"Mhm. I did. Why'd you have some?"
"Jamie."
"Oh."
"Sammy I want you to take some NyQuil now and then have a shower. Peyton can help you if you need it, just ask her."
"But you're coming home?" Sam asked.
"Yes, I promise I will."
"Mom?"
"Yes?"
"You're not gonna let dad come home tonight?"
Brooke closed her eyes and exhaled then opened them, "He is coming home tonight."
"But you'll be here before him, right?"
The conversation with Tamara rang fresh in Brooke's mind.
"I'll be there first, yes. Dad's worried about you though."
Sam stayed quiet and Peyton felt confused but could tell Sam was thinking, or rather remembering something,
"Mama...dad, he would never get mad at me for anything that I don't mean to do...right?"
Brooke stayed silent as she composed her words, "Sammy remember when you had an accident, did Dad get mad at you?"
Sam played with the fur on her bear, "N-no."
"Accidents, whatever kind they are, are accidents. Dad would never, ever get mad at you for something you can't stop, for something that isn't your fault."
Sam felt that small unease in her fade away, "Yeah, I guess you're right."
"I'm always right." Brooke stated and Sam could practically hear the smirk on her mom's face.
"Sure mom." Sam groaned. She then sat up a bit, "I'm, umm, about this morning, mom, I'm sorry, and I know you've been busy and-"
"Hey. Ssshhh. First off none of that was your fault. I owe you the biggest apology princess. I was really mean to you today for no good reason at all. You didn't deserve that. But let's worry about that later. You're sick and you need to rest. I want you to rest. Are we clear? No more TV. Take the NyQuil that Peyton's been trying to give you for hours and then I want you to try and sleep."
Sam's eyes widened. How did her mom know she was still watching TV and refusing that medicine that made her sleepy?
"I know it all little one." Brooke responded to her daughter's silence with an amused look on her face that Sam, of course, could not see through the phone.
Sam was flabbergasted even further. Was her mom psychic or something? "I will mom." She finally responded.
… … …
It was now nine at night and Brooke was in her bed. Sam cuddled up to her side. When she had gotten home she had found Sam asleep with her head in Peyton's lap right on her bed. Apparently, Sam wanted to stay in Brooke's bed after her shower and Peyton acquiesced. Brooke didn't mind it one bit.
Brooke let her hand fall through Sam's hair and she placed kiss after kiss on her head as she slept, "I'm so sorry baby. I shouldn't have yelled at you."
The mother could hear the congestion as Sam slept so she carefully rolled the girl over and lifted her shirt and put Vapor Rub on her back to help her breathe better.
"Mom, what're you doing?" Sam said as she felt a rubbing motion awaken her.
"This'll help you breathe better. Relax peanut." She whispered softly.
Sam let her finish as it was putting her back to sleep. When she felt the motion stop and her mother move slightly to place the container on her stand Sam turned over and engulfed Brooke's waist snuggling into her mother, "Mommy, can you stay?" Came the young girls' sleepy voice.
Brooke felt her heart melt, yet again, "I'm not leaving. I'm here kiddo." She then cleared her throat a bit and began to rub the girl's back, "Peanut?"
"Yeah?"
"You did not deserve a word I said to you this morning. I was stressed and that's not an excuse but it's why I yelled at you." She hugged Sam closer to her, "I'm so sorry sweetheart."
Sam nodded, the NyQuil's effects still hitting her heavily, "It's okay. I was just a little mad before, but not so much anymore. I shouldn't have been running."
Brooke laughed a bit, "No. You shouldn't have. But it didn't warrant me turning into some wicked witch." Her demeanor turned more sober, "But I've been that way for weeks haven't I?"
The girl squirmed a bit, "No...well, just a little bit. But it's okay. I get it mom. You don't need to feel bad."
"But it's upset you." Brooke pointed out.
"Yeah, but only because I really just wanted you to be happy with me. I, umm, still get that way sometimes, you know? Not wanting you and dad to be angry with me because then I get upset too."
Brooke held her close, "I knew that Sam, but I let my job get in the way. I promise I'll do better next time."
"Mama, stop apologizing." Sam whined. She was not mad at her mother and she didn't like to hear the woman beat herself up anymore, "It's fine."
The mother smiled and kissed the girl's head, "My sweet girl." She whispered.
Sam smiled contentedly, "I love you mommy. Daddy too."
"We love you too baby girl."
Brooke's head snapped up at the voice, but Sam hadn't stirred. There in the doorway was the man she had so angrily sent out that morning. Lucas gave Brooke a small, but loving smile. He had heard the mother's apology and felt it was time to go in.
"Remember what I told you Lucas." Brooke whispered hinting at the phone call regarding what Tamara had said.
He nodded and sat next to Brooke as he caressed Sam's cheek softly. Sam's eyes opened blearily and she saw her dad's image. Brooke felt her tense but then relax as Lucas began to talk to her in the softest manner possible.
"Hi buddy. Still feeling bad?"
She nodded, "I threw up again, but mom was there."
"That's good." He whispered. He didn't think his kid could get any cuter when she was tired, but this was taking the cake.
He contained his smile and kept his soft stare, "Is it okay if I sleep here with you guys or do you just wanna snuggle up with mom tonight?"
Sam felt her mom's arms around her and her father's loving look. Lucas would never hurt her, of that Sam was sure. "No, it's fine. Stay." She whispered. Lucas bent over and placed a kiss on her forehead.
"I heard what you told her...Let's talk?" He softly asked Brooke once Sam was back to sleep.
Brooke nodded and gently maneuvered herself out of Sam's grasp.
"I'm sorry." Brooke said the moment they sat down on the couch. "I know I've been AWOL. But Lucas, I don't know, this is how I am during this time. I'll try to loosen up, but I can't help but be tense."
"I blew up today Brooke. A lot of what I said was not true. I know you've been paying attention to Sam. I know you haven't abandoned her. Even she recognized that and told me to lay off you."
"She said that?" Brooke said through a chuckle.
Lucas laughed with her, "Yeah. She did. You've been a bit short with us. And I just, all I really wanted was for you to keep it in check, that's all. I know you're stressed and that's just a part of the job. You didn't deserve me telling you that work is more important to you because I know it's not."
Brooke looked down at her hands then back up, "I know I've been really snappy. I know. I'm just not used to having to care for a whole other person and be in such a serious relationship while working on our most important showcase of the year. Before all of this I just had Julian and he stayed distant during this time for good reason. Now, I have a kid, a sick kid at that, and I have you...But I wouldn't trade it for the world. You and Sam have somehow put up with my crap lately. Julian stayed away, but you've stuck by my side."
"I love you Brooke Davis. I don't care how mean you get."
He smirked at the light blush that crossed her features.
"I was mad Luke, I shouldn't have kicked you out like that."
"I said a pretty shitty thing. I get it. But it hurt like hell when you told me to get out." His voice caught.
"I'm sorry." Her voice was watery, "We can't do that in front of her anymore. She didn't deserve that. We're supposed to be better than her past parents."
"Hey." Lucas said firmly, "Those were not her parents. We are. And we are better. We would never do what half of those freaks and assholes did to her."
Brooke scooted closer until Lucas wrapped her up in his arms and she leaned on his chest as he leaned on the back of the sofa, "I was selfish the way I blew up at her. I reminded myself of Victoria."
"That's not you. You are not her. Don't you dare think that."
"Lucas I, I don't want to turn into her. I don't want to do that."
Lucas held her close as Brooke turned into his chest. "You won't Brooke. You've already done more for your kid than Victoria's ever done for you. Please don't be so hard on yourself. No parent is perfect."
"Don't you wish we were?" She asked him.
"I kinda love how dysfunctional we are. You, me, and the demon spawn."
"Rude!" She slapped his chest.
"You're right. Did you see how cute she was? We should've recorded it and showed her when she was not drunk on flu medicine."
Brooke laughed, "Yeah, no. I prefer a happy Sam over a mad one."
After a while of just laying there with each other it was Brooke who spoke up again, "Had that been the Sam of eight months ago that I yelled at she would've ran out the door."
"But she didn't." He clarified.
"She's gotten a lot of better, hasn't she?"
"She's strong." He whispered kissing her head, "Our girl is strong."
Hope y'all enjoyed it! Was Lucas too harsh? Brooke too harsh? Sam's moving on and trusting a lot more! Please review! I'm trying to determine whether Sam should get into major trouble in New York, The way I set it up it could go either way. The only thing is I have the plan of just how Sam would get into trouble and there's a lot more to it than going to Long Island! Nonetheless I will decide based on what you want! So, let me know what you'd like! I'm starting school soon once more, but hope to crank out another chapter or two. Hopefully I'm motivated enough!