Slightly longer one this week, starring crazy!Cas during his time in the mental hospital.

Dean walked along the corridor of the mental hospital, uneasiness twisting at his stomach. When he turned a corner, he saw Meg walking towards him dressed in pale blue scrubs, her dark hair bouncing around her shoulders. He could almost feel her angry gaze burning in to him. They stopped face to face outside a locked ward door.

"You finally bothered to turn up," she said, coldly.

"How is he?" Dean asked, ignoring her comment.

"Not good," she said. Dean raised his eyebrows expectantly.

"Care to elaborate?" he snapped.

"He's crazier than a bag of cats," she said flatly. "And he asks for you every day. I tried calling you."

"I know that."

"So you just thought you'd ignore me and let your best friend rot in here and pretend he doesn't exist?"

"Shut up, Meg. I'm not going to be lectured on morality by a demon."

"Oh I'm sorry," she sneered. "You're right, clearly I'm the amoral one. Remind me again which one of us has dropped everything to stay with Cas?"

"There's nothing I can do for him!" Dean argued.

"Oh please. You haven't heard him, the things he says. He asks for you all day and then at night he keeps the entire ward awake with his screaming. It's a real treat." The guilt twisting at Dean's stomach became so intense that he thought he might throw up. "Oh wipe that injured puppy look off your face, Dean. If you were so concerned about him, you'd have visited weeks ago."

"Would you just let me see him?" Meg didn't say anything else, she just swiped her card on the panel beside the door and it clicked open.

"First door on the right," she said. Dean could feel his hands shaking. He wasn't aware of putting one foot in front of the other, but a moment later he appeared at Cas's door. He knocked once and entered, terrified by what he might find. Cas was lying on the hospital bed with his back to the door. Dean noticed four cuffs, one on each corner of the bed, ready and waiting to tie the angel down.

"Hey buddy," Dean croaked. Cas sat up slowly and turned around. Dean barely contained a gasp when he saw his face. He was so pale, almost grey, with dark smudges under his eyes as though he hadn't slept in a year.

"Dean?" Cas walked towards him, his blue eyes wide but dull, as though they had lost the life in them. "Are you real?"

"Course I am." Cas stared at him for a moment longer before pulling him in to a hug so tight that Dean stumbled backwards slightly. "Woah, buddy, you okay?" he asked, although realised it was a stupid question.

"I'm a little better now you're here," he said. Dean put his arms around him and returned the embrace, glad for a moment that Cas couldn't see his face. Finally Cas took a step back and smoothed out the front of the hospital gown he was wearing.

"How are you, Dean?" he asked.

"Never mind me. What's going on with you?"

"Not a lot. I think I'm fairly lucid now, but it's hard to tell." He frowned and stared down at his bare feet. "It's frightening," he said, quietly, "not being able to trust your own mind." Dean was unable to hold himself together any longer, and he felt hot tears build in his eyes.

"Cas, what can I do?" he asked, his voice cracking with desperation. But instead of answering him, Cas replied with another question.

"What time is it?"

"About 7."

"A.M. or P.M.?"

"P.M."

Cas looked out the window at the gathering dark and looked confused for a second, as though realising that he should have known it was night time. "Will you stay with me?" he asked, he looked up at Dean before adding, "I don't like it here at night."

"Of course," Dean said. "Anything you need."

"Thank you." Cas turned and sat back down on the bed. "If I start acting strangely, I'm sorry. I don't mean to."

"Hey, don't you worry about any of that," Dean said. "It doesn't matter to me. I'll be here no matter what." Cas fiddled sadly with the edge of the white bed sheet and Dean sat beside him. "You look exhausted."

"I am."

"Can't you sleep?"

"No, I'm a celestial being, I don't have the ability."

"Have you ever tried?" Dean asked.

"I don't know how."

"Come here," Dean said, suddenly determined to do something good for Cas. He kicked off his shoes and lay back on the bed, pulling Cas towards him. "Lie down," he commanded, and Cas obeyed, childlike. Dean put his arm around him and Cas lay his head on Dean's chest. "Just relax." But Cas remained staring straight ahead at the wall.

"Cas, baby, close your eyes." He did as he was told but for a few long minutes Dean knew he was still wide awake, his breathing shallow and a little uneven, but Dean wasn't prepared to give up on this yet. He absent-mindedly traced little circles on Cas's arm with his finger tips, feeling the angel's skin warm against his. He couldn't think of any words that could make Cas better, so he hoped more than anything that, celestial being or not, Cas would manage to drift off into oblivion for a while.

Ten more minutes passed when at last, Dean saw him fall asleep. His tense shoulders visibly relaxed, his breathing became deep and even and the frown that marred his forehead vanished, leaving him looking peaceful again. Dean didn't know how long he watched him sleep. Hours probably. At some point in the middle of the night, Meg came to the door, and Dean looked at her with such aggressive warning that she backed straight out again. No one was going to wake his angel, not until he had slept for as long as he wanted.

When Dean opened his eyes, the room was full of sunlight and Cas wasn't beside him. Dean sat up and glanced around to find him crouched in the corner of the white room, hands on his head, muttering to himself. Dean approached him tentatively.

"Cas? You okay?" He didn't even look up, he just continued muttering something incomprehensible. Dean crouched beside him, reaching out to touch his arm, but Cas jerked away from him, his voice rising slightly, but still not breaking the stream of words that Dean realised was fast and fluent Enochian. Before he could say anything else, Dean heard the door click open. He turned to see Meg standing in the doorway again. Taking one last look at Cas, Dean stood and joined her in the hallway.

"What's going on with him?" She peered in to the room and observed the hunched shape in the corner.

"He's bat-shit crazy. That's what's going on with him." Dean held back the stab of anger he felt at Meg's callousness.

"He wasn't like this last night."

She pointed through the little window and said, "That is one of the many variations of Cas running around in that messed up little melon of his. He's not the same Cas you met a few hours ago."

"How many others are there?"

"Hell if I know. I've seen Dopey, Grumpy, Bashful... you met Clingy last night. And then there's Bitey, Screamy and Suicidey." Dean felt the colour drain from his face. She observed Cas for a little longer before adding, "I don't know what to call this one."

"What can I do?" he asked, so worried for Cas that he didn't even care that he showing weakness in front of the demon.

"There's nothing you can do," she said.

"There must be something."

"Do you think I haven't tried?" Meg said, turning on him. "You think I haven't tried everything to make him better? It kills me seeing him like this so quit acting like you're the only one who's affected by this you self-absorbed ass." Dean just stared at her, taken aback by her sudden outburst, but more than that, by the genuine emotion in her voice. But as quickly as it arrived, her anger vanished to be replaced by an expression of complete defeat. "Then again, I'm not the one he calls out for in the middle of the night," she said, raising her eyebrows. "Maybe you can do something I can't."

Dean went back in to the room, closing the door quietly behind him. He watched Cas, with no idea how he was supposed to help Cas when a hospital full of doctors couldn't.

"Do you remember the first time we met?" Dean asked. Cas bent his head lower, hiding his face. "After you dragged me out of hell I mean. You were so dramatic and serious with your big angel wings." Cas had stopped talking to himself, and he had gone still, so Dean kept going. "And I thought you were the biggest ass I'd ever met, so I stabbed you. I never thought you'd turn out to be my best friend."

"I remember," Cas whispered. "I think." He lowered his hands from his face and turned to Dean. Dean walked over to him and extended his hand to him, helping Cas to his feet.

"I don't know what to believe anymore," Cas said. "If… if a person is made up of all of their memories, what happens when you can't trust those memories?" he said, looking worried. "I'm scared I'm losing myself."

"You listen to me," Dean said, taking Cas's face in his hands. "You are Castiel, angel of the Lord who gripped me tight and raised me from perdition." Cas smiled a little, seemingly relieved that he remembered those familiar words. "I won't let you go anywhere. I promise you."

Cas nodded slowly. It had only been an hour since he had woken but he looked drained again, unrecognisable as the angel Dean had met a few years ago.

"I never wanted any of this," Dean said. "Maybe... maybe we could have found some other way to save Sammy," but even as he said it, Dean knew that had never been an option. "You should never have had to go through this, Cas."

"Even if there had been another way to save Sam, I would still have volunteered to take this burden from him."

"Why?"

"Because Sam is your brother. You love him. I couldn't let you lose someone you love."

"But if you don't get better, I'm gonna lose you." Cas just smiled sadly.

"You can live without me, Dean. You can't live without Sam."

"No, that's not true," Dean said. He blinked and he felt hot tears slip down his face. "I need you, Cas, I always will." There were tears in Cas's eyes now too, and Dean couldn't do anything but pull Cas in to his arms, selfishly seeking comfort from the very person he was supposed to be looking after.

"Break it up lovebirds," came Meg's voice from behind them. She smiled at Cas, a kind of dejected smile that didn't quite touch her eyes, as though she was wearing it as a mask. She handed Cas a little cup of pills. "You're looking better," she commented.

"I feel better," Cas said. Meg gave his arm a quick squeeze, her smile genuine this time.

"I'm glad." She turned to leave but when she reached the door she turned back. "You know they say love is just a kind of madness."

"So?" Dean asked.

"So," she said, turning to him with a smirk. "It looks like we're all mad here." She closed the door behind her, leaving Dean with Cas, who was staring at him, head tilted slightly. Dean looked in to Cas's inquisitive blue eyes.

"Was she right?" Cas asked. "Are you…crazy?"

"About you?" Dean asked. "I'm a freakin' lunatic."

A/N Thanks for reading! Please leave a review if you've enjoyed any of these stories so far, your feedback means the world.