The newspaper went on to list Arthur's previous girl and boyfriends and speculated that he had at last been tamed. There were also theories as to who Merlin was, although they did know he was American. Merlin was embarrassed by the fuss and bemused by it all, Arthur told him that they must be short of news if that was the best they could come up with. But it got worse when they went out with Morgana and Leon that night to a wine bar and they were once again photographed. When Merlin went out to the toilets he was approached by a reporter and asked questions, which he refused to answer. He was rescued by the wine bars management.

On the Saturday morning there was another article, but this time they seemed to have gained more information. Merlin's past employment and the fact that he was holidaying in London, when his mother was ill in a hospital in New York. The article also said he was a drop out from medical school. The article called him Arthur Pendragons' toy boy and a heartless gold digger. Merlin was very upset and didn't want to go out again. Arthur, although annoyed, had a more pragmatic view and said if they made a fuss it would go on for a lot longer and they should just ignore it. He then took Merlin to visit his Uncle Gaius. The visit went well and Gaius was over the moon to think that his nephew and a man he considered as good as family had met and were apparently getting on so well. It seemed he had been approached by the tabloid and sent them off with a flea in their ear. The two men stayed for several hours before returning to Arthur's.

On the Sunday evening Merlin flew back to America, he refused to take back all his new clothing, informing Arthur that he didn't have the room in the flat, having only a small chest of draws and a hook on the back of his door to store clothes. They came to a compromise and Merlin took back the one suitcase with his old clothes and a few of his new pieces. Elyan flew back with him as he had business to attend to. As soon as Merlin was back he went to see his mother and was pleased to see her looking better than she was the last time he saw her, her treatment was beginning to take effect. On the Monday he went back to work and tried to forget the fuss he had left behind. He wasn't due to see Arthur for three weeks although the blonde had said he would phone regularly.

Once Merlin had flown out Arthur went to see Gaius again. It had been a long time and he genuinely wanted to catch up with the older man; Gaius had been like an uncle to Morgana and himself in their younger years. He regretted losing touch. Taking a bottle of single malt whiskey with him he arrived the evening Merlin flew out. Gaius was pleased to see him.

They chatted for well over an hour before Gaius said to Arthur: "What are your intentions with Merlin?"

"I think a lot of Merlin Gaius, at the moment we are getting to know one another, but between you and me I want to spend a long time with him. I think I've finally found someone I want to be with long term." Arthur told him.

"Look after Merlin, he's a good lad, I don't want to see him hurt. He's been though a lot." Gaius said taking a drink of the whiskey.

"He's very devoted to his mother, what happened to his father Gaius I haven't wanted to ask"

Gaius raised his eyebrows and looked at Arthur "If you want to know about Merlin ask him, giving me a bottle of malt, no matter how good won't get your questions answered. But I will answer that one as it is a subject you need to know about." He paused before continuing. "Balinor was a good man; he adorned his son they often went out together when Balinor wasn't working. On Merlin's sixth birthday they all went out for a walk along the river, Merlin loved the ducks. As they were crossing the small footbridge to go home Merlin stopped and went to look over once more at the ducks. The side bars snapped and Merlin fell into the river, Balinor jumped in after him while Hunith ran down to the bank. The river was quite swollen and deep and running fast. Balinor reached Merlin and manage to get him to the side, where Hunith grabbed him. Balinor went to pull himself up and slipped, falling back he hit his head and was knocked unconscious, Hunith was busy getting Merlin safe when she looked back Balinor had been swept away. He was found an hour later, dead. Hunith and Merlin were devastated."

"Hell it must have been hard, and to happen on his birthday as well." Arthur said

"Yes and to make matters worse at the funeral Merlin heard something that broke his heart even further. A couple of the old gossips went to the service Merlin heard them talking. They said that Balinor had died because he had loved his Merlin so much, oh they didn't mean anything by it but Merlin took it to heart and believed that it was his fault. That if his dad hadn't loved him he would still be alive, true in essence I suppose, but it made the lad feel so guilty. It took him a long time to get over that, losing his father was bad enough but to feel at six years old that it was your fault….." Gaius shook his head. "So you see his father's death has always been a difficult subject, they were so very very close."

"Poor Merlin, is there anything else I need to be careful with?" Arthur asked.

"There is, but that's his story to tell if he wants to. We all have dark place in our lives Arthur after all."

"That we do, thank you for telling me about his father, I wouldn't have wanted to hurt him." The two men promised to keep in touch and Arthur promised to let Gaius know what progress he made with Merlin.

Merlin found he wasn't able to put everything behind him as he still kept having nightmares and then one day when he got to work there was a man waiting to see him. It was a reporter it seemed that he had been asked from a British tabloid to try to get an interview with him. Somehow the clause in Uther Pendragon's will had become common knowledge. Merlin refused to talk to the man and tried to get on with his work. Later the hospital rang him to say that the reporter had gained access to his mother, although they had removed the man as soon as they knew. That made Merlin mad and he went straight to see his mother who was understandably upset by the accusations.

"You aren't just going out with him for money are you? I don't want you to do that just to pay for my treatment." It seemed they had been asking her if Arthur was paying for her treatment.

"You don't honestly think someone like Arthur would need to pay someone to date him do you?"Merlin asked, trying to avoid an outright lie. Merlin informed his mum that he had paid for everything she had had up to that point but that Arthur had offered to pay for the remainder. Merlin told his mum that if that happened he would only take it as a loan. Merlin hated lying to his mother but felt he had no choice. He left the hospital and rang Arthur and explained what was happening. He told the blonde what he had told his mother.

Arthur said he would speak to the hospital and make sure Hunith wasn't bothered again. He also told Merlin to refer the reporter to Pendragon's where the solicitors' there would deal with matters. He also told Merlin that he would fly over in a couple of days to support him. Arthur was of the opinion that the whole thing had been set up by Agravaine, who of course denied everything. Merlin found the reporter outside his flat when he got home and Gilli had already been asked for an interview. Merlin did as Arthur had told him and referred the man to Pendragon's. In the morning the reporter stopped Merlin as he left the house and asked lots of questions which Merlin refused to answer; just before he left he asked Merlin if he had ever known a William Dempsey. With that Merlin went back inside and called in sick. His employer said they didn't want him to come in anyway, as they were being bothered by reporters; his services were no longer required. Merlin was at his wits end, he was stunned by all that was happening to him and shut himself in his room and didn't even come out to eat. His mood plummeted. Gilli went to stay with his friend, asking Merlin to vacate the flat within the week as he was fed up with all the phone calls and reporters. Merlin phoned his mother each day but couldn't bring himself to leave the flat, frightened the reporter would be waiting.

Back in London Arthur was concerned; Merlin hadn't answered any of Arthur's texts or calls. In the end he ran Merlin's work to find they had laid him off. He then rang Hunith who said her son had rung her but said he wouldn't be visiting. Arthur immediately flew to New York with Leon. He went straight to Merlin's flat where they found a reported outside the door.

Arthur demanded to know who he was, when told he was a local reporter and would he be prepared to give an interview Leon intervened and told the man to leave. The reporter then asked Arthur if he had heard of a William Dempsey and would he be willing to comment. Arthur declined to say anything and pounded on the door shouting at Merlin to open up. Eventually the door opened a crack and Arthur pushed his way in with Leon.

"God you look a mess" Arthur said looking at Merlin. It was the first time in two days Merlin had got out of bed, he hadn't even washed or shaved and had only had a couple of glasses of water in all that time. His face was red and it was obvious he had been crying. Merlin turned round and walked back to his bedroom and slammed the door.

Leon looked at Arthur "You go and talk to him, I'll make some drinks and get him something to eat, and Oh and Arthur go careful he looks ready to snap."

Arthur walked to the bedroom door and opened it carefully and stepped in, he was surprised at the size of the room it was tiny; he could understand now why Merlin wouldn't bring more clothes back with him. Merlin was curled up on the single bed, in fact Arthur was fairly sure in wasn't even a full single. The blonde carefully sat on one corner of the bed.

"I'm sorry you've had all this bother Merlin, but you can't hide yourself away like this. Come on Leon is making you some breakfast."

A muffled voice came from under the duvet "He'll have trouble no food. I lost my job!"

Arthur pulled the bedclothes back "You should have rung me"

"Why? You're not my keeper; we should stop this it's a bad idea. I'll pay you back somehow" Merlin snarled "because of this I've lost my job and in three days I'll be homeless! I won't be able to get another job with no address! Why did you have to come along, I was coping before!"

Arthur looked at Merlin in amazement "What do you mean homeless"

"Gilli is fed up with the reporter's and he wants me out by the end of the week!" can you blame him? I've lied to my mother, god my life's a mess."

"Merlin nothing has changed as far as I'm concerned, I will still pay for your mother's treatment and the marriage can go ahead. If your homeless I'll get you put up in a hotel until the marriage or you can move in with me now, it's the least I can do. Stop wallowing in self pity and get up!" Arthur wasn't good dealing with emotions, he felt helpless.

"Self pity!" Merlin shouted he sat up and glared at Arthur.

"That's better I can see you now, Merlin you stink go and get a shower and put some different clothes on, then meet me in the kitchen."

"Piss off your prick, get out of my life."

Arthur looked at Merlin in surprise "You can't talk to me like that"

"I just did, now piss off" Merlin led back down and covered himself back up.

Arthur stood up and pulled the duvet off of Merlin and picked the lighter man up and carried him out of the room, kicking doors open as he went until he found the bathroom. Putting Merlin in the shower he switched it on and pulled the tatty curtain across. "Now get clean!" Arthur shouted and left the room. He stomped back to the main living area and looked round for Leon. There was no sign of the other man. Arthur looked in the kitchen and found a note propped up by the kettle.

"No food in the place and the milk has gone off, gone to get supplies."

Arthur looked round and wondered how two people could possibly live in such a small place. It was grotty and poorly furnished. All the furniture had seen better days and there was mould growing on the windows and well as one corner of the living area. He went to sit down on one of the armchairs but looking at it decided to stand. Hearing the shower stop he went back to Merlin's room and found some clean clothes and opened the bathroom door and handed them to a wet Merlin. "Get dressed, Leon has gone to get us something to drink and you something to eat." He looked at Merlin who was stood with a towel round his waist. When did you last eat? You're all skin and bones"

"I'm thin anyway." Merlin muttered "Get out and I'll get dressed."

A few minutes later Merlin walked into the living area, he looked awful with bags under his eyes and a wretched expression on this face.

"Come on Merlin it can't be that bad." Arthur said "I'm sorry you had to deal with all this but I told you it changes nothing. Once Leon is back we'll talk this through and then take you to see your mother."

There was a knock on the door and Arthur opened it to find Leon stood there with two bags in his hands. "I got us some coffee and bagels for now" he walked in "Hi Merlin, the reporters gone"

The three men sat down and had their breakfast Merlin forcing the food down.

"The reported asked me about a William Dempsey when we got here, who is he Merlin" Arthur asked. As he did he saw Merlin's face pale and the raven haired man started to shake.

Arthur moved next to him and put his hand on the other mans shoulder "I'm sorry to ask but we need to know everything if we're going to sort this mess out once and for all."

Merlin looked from Arthur to Leon then down at the floor. "It's not what you think…it was years ago." Merlin took a deep breath, he had lost his job and had no chance of another quickly he had to do this for his mother. He looked at both men once again.

Leon took pity on the younger man "I can leave if you want."

"No you'd just as well hear it…. when I was fourteen I fell in love with a boy at school. That's when I realised I was gay. He was sixteen his name was Will Dempsey. We had known each other all our lives. Will was from a good family, by that I mean a wealthy one. He was good to me; he stuck up for me when I was bullied. I didn't realise he was gay as well. We sort of figured it out when I was fifteen, that we liked each other… we didn't do anything, I was to young anyway. Then when I was sixteen I went home with him, his parents and older brother were out for the day. His dad never liked me, we were to poor, trash he called us." Merlin paused as the memories started to flood back. He took a deep breath before continuing. "We were making out in his bedroom, not sex just kissing, hand jobs and touching…..then Will told me he had my birthday present…..he knew I wouldn't….anyway he blew me. It was wonderful. Then the door burst open it was his dad and older brother….." Merlin stopped and swallowed looking down at the drink in his hands.

Arthur spoke softly "If you want to leave it you can Merlin"

Merlin started to speak once more "….. his brother held Will while his dad started to hit me, calling me a pervert who'd corrupted his son, he said I should be castrated then strung up, that my sort shouldn't be living…he pulled out his gun I thought he was going to kill me….then Will got free from his brother and grabbed his dads arm….there was a shot and blood everywhere …. Will fell backward into my arms he had been shot in the chest….he looked at me, told me he love me then closed his eyes…..he was dead." By now tears were running down Merlin's face. "Will's brother rang for an ambulance his father just stood there he didn't say anything." Merlin stopped once more deep in his thoughts

"I went to the funeral, I loved Will, my first and only love, people were whispering but I could hear then, they said it was my fault; no one seemed to be blaming his father. His mother came up to me and told me to leave, she said her son was dead and that it was my fault, my fault that her son thought he was in love with me, that my love had killed him. At the trial the judge said his dad had suffered enough that it had been an accident, he got a suspended sentence. We had to move away, he'd killed Will and got away with it! and I was the one in the wrong!" Merlin stopped talking once more before taking a breath and continuing:

"I felt so guilty it was the second time in my life that loving me had killed someone I loved. I threw myself in my studies I couldn't let anyone get close to me, I won't ….. if it hadn't been for mum I don't think I would have got through it ….then she got ill….is it me?" I can't let anyone love me, I can't risk it. It's not safe." Arthur realised that Merlin hardly knew they were there it was like he was just thinking out loud his thoughts tumbling over one another. As Merlin stopped talking he was staring into space and shaking. The other two men weren't sure what to do. Arthur thought Merlin was having some sort of a breakdown. He gently took the drink from Merlin's hand and pulled the young man closer, holding him for want of something else to do.

Arthur looked at Leon "Could you pack his things up I want to get him out of here, he's in no state to cope with reporters and this place isn't fit to live in. Just pack everything in his room. We'll leave a note for his flatmate to ask him to phone if we leave anything behind. Once we get him back to our hotel I'll get a doctor to see him."

Leon nodded "If we keep his key for now just in case Merlin says there anything he wants. I'll even check under the mattress, it looks like the sort of place you'd need to hide things. Then I'll ring for a car, and check round to make sure that reporter isn't about, I'll also check for a back way out."

Leon went into the bedroom and came out with the suitcase and several carrier bags. "One of the draws was locked but it was flimsy. I think I've got everything."