Their baby is dead.
Harley and Dick don't know how to carry on living without her. Since they lost Haly, Dick has been distant and Harley has been inconsolable. It was too much to bear, and they've done everything to keep from being crushed by the sheer sorrow.
Everything short of rely on their family. When Batman calls and demands Dick's help while Robin is ill, he knows its for the best. Harley goes to stay at the Manor, and she too finds some comfort in confiding in the family.
Harley jerked awake with a gasp, sitting bolt upright in bed. She wasn't sure how many times she'd done it that night. Always the same. The same dream, the same dark room. Except…
Dick was gone.
Her hand slid over his empty spot on the bed, and she threw the covers back in a panic, running out into the hall and starting for the stairs, but she stopped. The nursery door at the end of the hall was open. As she crept toward it quietly, she could see Dick's shadow in the moonlight- they'd slept all day, already- pouring into the hallway, his silhouette frozen in the middle of the room.
"Dick?" She said quietly. She stepped into the doorway, holding onto it as she watched him.
He didn't answer.
"Dick," she said a little louder, touching his arm as she walked around him to look in his eyes. They were completely vacant- not emotionless, but asleep.
"Crying," he mumbled.
"What?" Harley touched his face.
"She was crying I had to come… come do something or feed her…" he said slowly, his brows knitting and then smoothing out again. Harley leaned her forehead against his.
"It's okay. She… she's asleep," her voice cracked, "you should go back to bed too." Dick nodded slowly, following her out of the room with his hand in hers. Harley pulled him back into the guest room, glancing away from their bedroom door. She sat him back down on the bed. "Go back to sleep," she ordered gently. Dick rubbed his eyes and looked up at her, reaching a hand up towards her face.
"Will you stay with me?" Harley nodded, grabbing his hand.
"Yeah." She laid down beside him.
Dick was asleep almost as soon as his head hit the pillow. And as soon as he did, his phone rang on the bedside table. He stirred a bit, frowning in his sleep. Harley quickly picked it up, answering.
"Hello?" she whispered.
"Harley." Bruce sounded surprised. "I… how are you?" his voice was gentler now. "How is he?"
"Well," she glanced down at Dick, brushing his bangs out of his face, "he's sleeping."
"Wake him up, I need him."
"Bruce," Harley sighed, her voice pleading. "He's actually sleeping."
"Jason is AWOL, again, Tim left, and Damian is throwing up and begging me to go with me. I need him."
"I just… If I wake him up, I don't know when he'll go to sleep again."
"He needs this. Batcave. Twenty minutes. It would be best if you stayed at the Manor."
Bruce hung up. Harley frowned at it, glancing back at Dick. She watched him sleeping. She didn't want to wake him up, but she didn't want to make Bruce mad either. She reached her hand out toward him before drawing it back. I don't want him to leave me.
Harley sighed, shaking her head. She went to nudge him awake before her hand dropped to her side again. Dick's phone buzzed on the pillow where she'd dropped it.
Don't make me come get him
Dick jerked awake at the noise and sat up, rubbing his face. He glanced at her. "Harley? Are you okay?" he watched her tiredly, a hand moving toward hers.
"Yeah," she assured him, taking his hand. "But, um," her brow furrowed, "Bruce called." She showed him the text. Dick's face fell.
"He wants me, doesn't he?" He looked down. "Right. Okay." He stood unsteadily and yawned a bit before stopping. "Oh. My… my uniform is…" He looked down. Still soaked in your blood. "I have another." He shrugged. "What are you doing? You're going to the Manor, I hope?" Harley nodded.
"I guess Damian is sick, so I'll hang out with him or something. Maybe I'm lucky and he'll be miserable with me."
Dick nodded slowly. "Good. Good, you'll be… safer there," he sighed. "If you want to pack some things, I'll be back up in a moment." He walked out of the room, coming back quickly in case she panicked again. When he stepped into the room, she almost smiled. The blue stripe across his chest stood out in the dark room.
"That's an outfit I haven't seen in a while, pretty boy."
Dick looked down, touching the stripe. "Would you believe me if I said that I've grown since I last wore it? It feels too tight," he commented.
"That's because you never fed yourself," she reminded him.
"I did too," he muttered, grabbing her bag for her as they walked down the stairs and to the garage. The corner of Harley's mouth turned up a little. She grabbed his free hand, walking closer to him. The dogs trotted over to the bottom of the stairs when they heard movement. Wally licked his nose, his ears flat on his head. Dick whistled shortly, and they both sprinted forward, running around his feet as he opened the garage door. Dick opened Harley's door for her and then got into the car, and he dropped his mask in the cupholder before pulling out. Wally flopped on Clark in the backseat.
"Do you think we'll ever get back to normal?" Harley asked quietly once they reached the end of the street. "Do you think we'll ever feel normal?"
Dick looked down for a moment, and then back up at the road. "I don't know, Harley. But I'm here. We're both still here." He took her hand, his fingers lacing with hers, the blue streaks down his middle and ring finger standing out starkly against her pale hand.
But she isn't, Harley felt crushed by the thought. She wiped away a tear with the hand not held in Dick's, used to how they never seemed to stop. Dick bit his lip, looking at her. He wanted to say something, but he didn't know what. They drove in silence the rest of the way to the Manor, and when they walked in, Damian stood by the door. His face was pale, his eyes and nose reddened. His black hair stood in every direction, and he had a blanket loosely wrapped around his shoulders.
"What are you doing here?" he asked. Dick looked at him, putting on his mask.
"Where is Bruce?"
"Batcave," Damian nodded towards the library, and Dick left them.
"Master Damian, you'd bloody well be in your bed by the time I get back!" Alfred shouted from the kitchen and Damian scoffed, scratching Wally's ear. Harley watched him for a second.
"You look terrible," she told him truthfully.
"So do you," he muttered irritably, and then coughed into his blanket.
"We both have good reason." She shrugged. "No go lay down before I get Alfred in here."
"Pennyworth doesn't frighten me," he muttered, as Alfred came out of the kitchen wielding a spoon.
"I'd better frighten you, Master Damian if you're not back in your bed this instant-" He hit Damian with the spoon and Damian cried out, running off. Alfred sighed and smoothed his hair back. "Miss Harley. I am sorry."
"Hey Alfred. How's it going?"
"Infuriatingly quiet." He sighed deeply and looked at her. "How are you, Miss?" Harley thought about it for a second.
"Not okay," she admitted.
"Well perhaps you will have better luck with Master Damian," Alfred raised an eyebrow, watching her. He turned to the kitchen, pausing only a moment to glance over his shoulder. "It's not my place, but I am sorry for your loss." He spoke quietly, and then walked into the kitchen, returning with a tray full of supplies. Alfred handed it to her. "He's gone to his room, I hope."
"I would too if you threatened me with a spoon," Harley muttered. She smiled a little at him before heading up the stairs. Alfred watched her go and then looked down, fighting the burning in his eyes before walking slowly back to the kitchen.
Damian was in his room, half dressed in his Robin costume when Harley entered and he looked up in shock, yanking his tunic over his head. She set the tray on the end table.
"No." She crossed her arms, glaring at him.
"I'm fine!" he spat, coughing a bit as he pulled his cape on, leaning against the bedpost so that he didn't pass out from the dizziness.
"Well I'm not fine, so lay back down before I cry," she warned. Damian stared at her in confusion.
"No. I don't want any part of this- I already have to tell Grayson ten times a week. I don't want to… to 'snuggle'." He crossed his arms. "Besides, I'll get you sick."
"Well I have Antitoxin," Harley mimicked his tone. "And if you leave, you have to explain to Grayson why you left me alone."
"I don't want to be left here," he snapped, but began struggling in his frustration with his cape to get it off. Harley knelt to his height and helped him take it off.
"Neither do I," she whispered. Damian watched her, his white-blue eyes reflecting his father's cold determination. He looked down, pulling his tunic off over his head. Scars riddled his back and chest; his torso was so small, but the number of scars rivaled Dick's. She was shocked, though she didn't know why. What else did she expect? Damian crawled dejectedly into bed, coughing.
"We could both go out you know," he tried.
"And do what?" Harley asked. "Batman and Nightwing are out there." She crawled into the bed beside him, pulling the covers up to her chin. She glanced over at him. "Nope, your job is making me feel protected."
"It's Batman and Robin not Batman and Nightwing," he said, sounding a little hurt. Dick had told her about this once, how Damian always seemed insecure at anyone insinuating that his father had any other partnership besides with him. "I just want to help." He looked up at her, icy blue eyes exhausted and reddened around the edges. His tiny torso was practically radiating heat beside her. "Could you please get me some water?" He asked quietly. Harley sat up and looked at the tray on the nightstand. A bottle of cold medicine and another of vitamins was there, as well as a covered bowl of soup, an iced water bottle, a box of tissues, a cup of tea with a lemon beside it, and a thermometer. Harley handed him the water. She watched him drink for a moment.
"It used to be the Joker and Harley Quinn," she reminded him gently. "Did you know my college boyfriend went crazy and died because of Joker Venom?" she asked. Damian stared up at her. "That's why I wanted to study him. The Joker. He could kill people miles away without lifting a finger, and he wouldn't even know. That was fascinating to me. So I guess, I was leading up to the point in my life for a while." She stared at the wall for a second. "I'm not saying Batman and Robin are that equivalent, but… It wasn't always Batman and Robin. There hasn't always been a Robin and there won't always be. You're not going to be Robin forever are you? You could be, or you could even be Nightwing some day, or Red Robin - don't hurt me for that, or Red Hood I guess, or Batman, or something else. Something you choose. Sometimes what you've been building up to all along… sucks. But it's not the end of the world. I may not be one to talk because it kind of feels like that right now."
"I'm sorry," Damian looked down. He coughed a little bit. "But now you have Richard. It's not all bad. He's the one that taught me- well showed me that it can never be all bad. Especially when he's around." He smiled a little, and then flopped back down on his pillow.
"He isn't always around," Harley whispered. Damian frowned, his eyes distant for a moment.
"He… he tries though," he insisted, sticking his nose up a bit. "He's not like Father. Or me, or Todd… He tries to be there for everyone and he's just… sometimes…" Damian looked down, trying hard to think of an argument to support his brother.
"Late?" Harley offered.
"Well that's why some of us have to take care of ourselves," Damian said quietly, going a bit pale. He scrambled up and raced into the bathroom, barely making it to the toilet before he was throwing up. "I felt fine- this morning-" he gasped, whimpering a bit and closing his eyes, his small body trembling with his fever where he knelt on the bathroom tile.
"Is it the flu?" Harley had followed him in and wet a rag in the sink. She knelt beside him and wiped the sweat off his face.
"Pennyworth says that it is," Damian coughed and retched again, starting to cry. "I hate being sick-" he sniffled, rubbing his eyes with the heel of his palm.
"Nobody likes it," she assured him. She ran her fingers through his hair, unsticking the damp strands from his forehead. Damian coughed, getting unsteadily to his feet. He flushed the toilet and rinsed his mouth in the sink, walking weakly back to bed.
"I'm sorry, Harley. No one knows what you and Dick are going through," he spoke as if he'd been thinking about it for a while, but just decided to voice it. "None of us know that pain, except maybe Stephanie- but all of us know something equal to an extent. We're all here. Richard- Dick likes to go off on his own when he's grieving, despite his deep seated fear of being singled out and alone… Don't let him take you with him. You have a family here to lean on." Damian watched her for a moment, and then rubbed his eyes and coughed weakly. He got into bed as Allie and Alfred slunk into the room, the cats jumping up onto the bed with him.
Harley rinsed the hand towel out with cold water, ringing it in the sink. She folded it as she walked over to the bed, laying it across his forehead as she sat beside him.
"You know, all of you look at these scars and feel guilty." She looked down at her hands. "I can't feel regret for them." Her eyes flicked up to Damian's face. "He wanted to cut Haly out of my stomach." She blinked slowly. "I don't know if I could describe what it feels like to have someone want to take your baby away like that. Every time he was stabbing me or watching me struggle or breaking a bone, he wasn't taking her." She quickly wiped a tear away as Allie sniffed her shirt. "I guess it would compare it to something like… You would get stabbed repeatedly before letting someone lay a finger on Dick," she said it like a fact, looking at him. "Because it would hurt so much worse for someone to cut your heart out like that, right?" She sniffled. "But she's still gone. Even if he didn't touch her, he still took her away."
"Shame," Damian looked down. "I… was looking forward to having a niece." Harley nodded, curling up beside him.
"Was your Christmas present ruined too?" she asked, her voice thick with tears.
"I've never cared much for Christmas," he remarked, closing his eyes.
"Me neither." Harley stroked Allie as she circled between them. That's why I was so excited for this year. "You should get some sleep."
"I don't sleep at night." Damian stated matter-of-factly. Harley glared at him.
"Humor me."
"I slept all day," he yawned, the exhaustion from the illness weighing on him.
"Well then don't sleep, just lay there with your eyes closed." Damian did as she told him, and within minutes he was breathing softly, sound asleep. His dark hair stuck up away from his hot forehead, his cheeks flushed pink. He shivered a bit. Harley took the damp cloth off his forehead, setting it aside as she pulled the covers up. Alfred mewled at her, crawling underneath them. "You'd think with your name, you'd be better behaved," she muttered, curling back into a ball as Allie sniffed her face.