The day soon came round for Merlin's visit to the flat with the Occupational Therapist. Merlin was dressed and waiting when she arrived with Arthur, who was going to drive them there. Merlin was in a blue shirt and black slacks, he had wanted to wear jeans but found he couldn't get them on easily, they were tight and although he had lost weight it was just too difficult as he was still stiff. Arthur was in one of his Armani suits as he was going to work straight afterwards.
It seemed strange to Merlin to be in a car after so long in hospital, he had already spent nine weeks only going outside in the hospital grounds with either Arthur or his Mum. He knew he would be going back for at least another week once today was over. The visit was making him nervous, today he would be facing his previously forgotten life head on, and wasn't sure how he would cope. He was finding himself falling in love with Arthur but was that because he was in hospital, how it would work out when he was living with the man. He just wasn't sure. The life style was so much grander than he could remember being used to.
Arthur also had a myriad of thoughts going through his head, when they got to the flat would it trigger Merlin's memories, and if it did, how would they cope, would it break them apart or worse still put them back to how they had been before the accident. Arthur had found his love deepening even more as Merlin had allowed him to get closer. He couldn't bear the thought of not having the other man in his life. He couldn't help but remember the old saying 'what a tangled web we weave when at first we do deceive' Well there had certainly been some deceptions going on.
They walked up to the building and into one of the two lifts and up to their front door. Arthur unlocked and stepped to one side and allowed Merlin and Sarah the O.T. in before him. Merlin stood there for a moment in the entrance hall, before Arthur suggested they start in the living room and walked straight ahead. Once in Merlin looked around, much as he did all those months ago and looked at the pristine room. Then he moved to the large picture window and its panoramic views across London. "This is great! It's very tidy in here"
Arthur smiled "We have a good cleaner who comes in twice a week."
Sarah looked around "Well this is set up fine for you Merlin shall we look at the rest?"
Arthur took them through to the kitchen; it had always been Merlin's favourite room. Merlin looked round "It's even bigger than it looked on the computer!"
"This is your favourite room, once you did your cooking course you spent ages in here"
"So you had me as your kitchen slave did you" Merlin quipped trying to lighten the atmosphere.
"Far from it, but you loved cooking and I'm not very good. You preferred eating at home than going out to restaurants." Arthur told him.
"I bet" Merlin wondered just what restaurants Arthur frequented.
Again Sarah walked round checking things and making sure it was to her satisfaction. She kept quiet mostly, as Ms Annis had suggested seeing if his visit triggered memories. In fact although the two men hadn't realised that was the main reason for the visit. Merlin was fit enough to cope with normal activities of daily living, the normal checks made on such occasions. What the consultant hadn't wanted is to discharge Merlin only to find as he walked into his home he had a crisis.
Arthur then moved up the corridor past the dining room to the office and explained that the couple had spent many hours together with Merlin studying and Arthur working. Then the last rooms, the bedrooms, Arthur opened the master bedroom and allowed the other two in. Merlin looked around amazed at the size his gaze settling on the massive king size bed. He blushed nearly as red as the red silk sheets.
Arthur saw Merlin's look and squeezed his shoulder "If you don't feel you can share this with me yet, either you can sleep here alone, or in one of the other rooms, no pressure"
Sarah coughed and said "I'll be in the kitchen I'll make us a tea" with that she walked out and left them alone.
Merlin looked up at Arthur his eyes like a deer caught in the headlights. He wasn't sure what to say. Arthur gazed at Merlin before saying "I mean it Merlin, no pressure. Look I know you are finding it all a bit much; you did when you moved in before. Can you remember anything?"
"No, the view draws me, and the bed make me feel uncomfortable but I don't know why. I want this to work out I really do, but ….." he stopped and his eyes began to fill.
"Merlin Oh Merlin" Arthur pulled his husband into his arms "We can make it work but it might take time, you've been through so much"
Merlin blinked back the tears; he would not embarrass himself by crying. He looked at Arthur once more "I don't want to go back; I want to get on with my life, please let me stay"
"The doctors say you need a few more days Merlin, but it won't be long I promise. Your Mum will move in soon and I will pick you up and we can begin again. I want you here more than I can say but we need to listen to the professionals" Arthur kissed Merlin gently and held him close for a few moments before pushing Merlin away slightly. "Come on let's get that tea."
The journey back was almost in silence, and once back Merlin led on the bed and closed his eyes. Arthur stopped and spoke to the nurses before heading off to the office. He would have stayed by he wanted to get as much done in the next few days as he could to free himself up for Merlin's first days back. Morgana wanted to hold a welcome home bash for Merlin but Arthur refused saying Merlin needed to settle in peacefully. But he did agree to a small dinner party the weekend after, providing all went well and Merlin was up to it.
The day before Merlin's discharge Hunith moved into the flat. It was decided to leave the rooms Merlin had previously used free in case that's where he decided to sleep. Arthur was getting more and more apprehensive but at the same time excited. When he went to collect Merlin Hunith went with him. Merlin was sat dressed in the same clothes he had used for his home visit and looking equally as nervous as Arthur. The day before they had met with the Clinical psychologist who gave them tips on what to do if Merlin's memories were triggered in any way, and the number of a twenty four hour helpline should they need it. Merlin would also receive follow up at the hospital. When they arrived at the ward Arthur was given a bag of medication that was explained to all of them. Merlin was to be on a low dose of antibiotics for life, due to his splenectomy. He had also been given advice on how to look after himself and given a full course of antibiotics, for back up, and given written information one when to use it. Merlin was now wearing a medi alert bracelet in case he was ever admitted to hospital.
As they left the ward both men were both excited, yet at the same time wondering what the future would bring. Once they got back to the flat Arthur made them all a drink and they settled down to relax for a bit. Arthur and Merlin sat together on the couch. As Merlin relaxed he leant again Arthur who put his arm around the other man.
Hunith went to cook some lunch and while it was cooking she raised the elephant in the room as it was clear neither of the men were going to. "Well boys we need to put away all the things you brought back with you, so what room are you using Merlin?"
Merlin looked first at his mother then Arthur. Arthur spoke "It's up to you Merlin but I think it might be best for you to sleep where you feel comfortable. So would you rather have one of the spare rooms or the master? We can decide later if we share."
Merlin got up and went towards the bedrooms and walked into the master and sat on the bed, then automatically went to the opposite room the one he had used before and sat on that bed. Coming back he said "I'd like to … I think I ought to …." he looked at Arthur "As I'm your husband …..I think it would be best if I tried ….."
Arthur smiled gently at Merlin "Look if you sleep in the master with me I promise nothing will happen, and if you change your mind no problem, but I would like to fall asleep with you by my side. It's a big bed all by myself."
Merlin looked at Arthur and then his Mum his face tinged pink "okay" he murmured.
"Thank goodness for that!" Hunith said "While I'm finishing the food you two get all that stuff in your room and unpacked."