Arthur looked at Merlin, all his worse fears had just be realised, he also knew he had no choice, not if he was to have any chance of keeping Merlin. So he sat down next to Merlin on the bed and looked his husband straight in the eye.
"You do deserve it and you will get it. The truth of the matter is that I do love you very, very much, I lied to you because I was scared to lose you. But understand it wasn't all a lie. I did meet you in the first place to offer you a deal, you needed money to get your mother treated, she was ill in hospital and you were working two jobs and selling your blood more often than your should have been. You had dropped out of Harvard to get money together. The deal was as you saw in the Agreement, and also I paid your mums treatment and would pay for your continued training. In return we would get married and stay married for five years. And no we were never going to be fuck buddies as you call it." Arthur paused "Your mum told me she had guessed what was going on before we married but she didn't tell you as she knew you would be upset that she knew what you had done."
Merlin stared at Arthur "Why the lies why not tell me the truth?"
"Like I said I was scared to lose you, I hoped you would come to love me, everyone seemed to think you did, your mum, my family. We were just too stupid to admit it to ourselves. Also you were so badly hurt, I didn't know what and how to tell you. Last night… I so wanted to … I want to be with you forever, sod the will that's not important anymore, I want whatever makes you happy, but I want it to be me that makes you happy, please forgive me. Even before your accident I hoped we could make a real go of it, but I didn't know what you felt, you were so prickly and I was so unsure. I craved the times when we were in public and I could hold you. You have no idea." By now Arthur had tears running down his face, he didn't even notice he was so distressed and felt everything was falling to pieces.
Merlin sat there shocked to the core, he no longer knew what to believe he felt lost and alone. "Mum knew….. You said mum knew. Why didn't she tell me the truth?"
Arthur knelt before Merlin and took the other man's face in his hands "Merlin we did what we thought was right at the time. You know your mum would never do anything to hurt you have to believe that." Arthur said. As he spoke there was a knock on the door.
"Foods ready boys" Hunith called out.
"Hunith can you came in please" Arthur called back. As Hunith opened the door she took in the scene and feared the worse. Arthur spoke. "Merlin found a copy of our Pre nuptial agreement; I've told him the truth"
Hunith looked shocked "Oh…. Well it's for the best. I'm sorry darling but I know you loved Arthur and he you, but you were both too proud to admit it. I'm truly sorry but what else could we do u=you were so poorly and confused" She stepped forward to hug her son. Merlin pulled back.
"I need to think" he told her "I never thought you would lie to me!"
Hunith looked at her son "You were so badly hurt we thought we were going to lose you. It was hardly the time to tell you the truth, and then as you got better….. look son, I could see you both loved each other, even before you married. None of us set out to lie, it was just not telling the whole truth, we couldn't not how you were. Now tell me do you love Arthur? Because I know you do and it is very plain he loves you so what is the problem"
Merlin looked at his mother then Arthur. He sat silent of a few moments before speaking "I don't know what to think anymore, can you leave me alone for a bit"
"I will but you must eat, I'll bring you something in, come on Arthur leave him, and Merlin try to look at it from our viewpoint, we thought you wouldn't make it at first, we both lived by your side, how could we tell you everything? Then you had the shock of losing your memories, there was no good time." Hunith took Arthur arm "Come on Arthur let the boy think he's had a shock"
Once they left Merlin tried to think things through from their prospective, he hated that they had lied to him, but would he have done the same in the same position. His mother had always been against lying in any form, he supposed for her to do so it must have seemed the only thing to do. Arthur seemed to be genuine in his declaration of love, but then he had believed him all along so why believe him now. He felt such an idiot.
Arthur was in a mess, he didn't know what to do, what if Merlin decided that the lies were too much and he could never trust him again, had he ruined any chance he had ever had? Hunith wasn't feeling much better, she knew how much Merlin hated being lied to and yet she had been fully complicit in the whole thing. Should they have told Merlin the truth, even as ill as he was, clearly not but when should they have come clean? Would they have ever told the truth? If she was honest she didn't think they would have. They should have been more careful and made sure to have removed everything. In hind sight perhaps when Agravaine had told Merlin they should have told him the truth then. She took Merlin in some food and left him to think. He was a kind and considerate boy and she hoped that he would come round to the idea there was little else they could have done.
It was some two hours later when Merlin came out of the bedroom to face them. He looked at his mother and husband and could see they were in a mess, but he wasn't ready to forgive them. He sat opposite the pair and spoke in a quiet but determined voice. "I have thought about what you have said, but I still think you had chances to tell me the truth. I was…..am vulnerable at the moment and you took advantage of me. I want so much to know the truth." He looked straight at Arthur "Did I love you before all this? Did you love me? Why couldn't we have told each other. It hurts that last night you let me believe we had made love before. I never even knew it was my first time! I don't know if I can forgive you that." Merlin looked at his Mum. "You've never lied to me, I can't believe you would." Merlin's eyes filled with tears "Can I ever trust you again!"
Merlin stood up "I'm going to sleep in the spare room. I just don't know what to do. I haven't even got anyone to talk to anymore, not that I can trust. You've left me with no one" he walked away a broken man all the progress he had made in his recovery had gone.
Arthur turned to Hunith "What can we do? I can't leave him like that"
"You're going to have to give him space. I'll stay overnight but Arthur he will have to come to terms with what has happened as will we. We lied to him, the two people he should have been able to trust, the fact that we had good reason to doesn't alter that fact." Hunith looked at Arthur "We will just have to hope he can forgive us."
Arthur looked at Hunith she appeared to have aged years in the past couple of hours and he was sure he was no better. No one would sleep that night.
The next morning Arthur realised that they were supposed to be holding a dinner party for their friends that night. He quickly rang Morgana and asked her to cancel it. There was no way that was going to happen. He told this sister that Merlin had found his copy of the pre nup and now knew the truth and wasn't taking it well.
"Oh shit, what are you going to do?" she asked her brother.
"Nothing, Merlin needs time to think and I have to give him that. Hunith is staying here again. Just keep people away please. I will get Hunith to call Gaius but can you let the rest know. I don't know just say Merlin isn't up to it. It's not a lie after all." Arthur said ruefully "No more lies, the damage has been done, but no more lies. Once Merlin has thought things through I'll tell people the truth. But it's only right he has the time."