A/N: Sorry for making you wait so long. :(
I hear voices. A familiar voice is calling my name softly.
It's too far. I can't reach it.
Then it feels like someone drugging me away of the painless paradise.
I am not lost in paradise.
I open my eyes forcefully and a bright light blind me. I try to move my hand to cover my eyes but a very bad pain was all over my chest and arm making me groan in annoyance and pain.
All I feels is this cruel feeling.
I feel my mind full of worries again.
Where is Peeta?
Is he alright?
I need to see him!NOW!
I try to call his name but I start choking hard. I cough again and again trying to make his name come out but nothing.
"Calm down Katniss!" The same familiar voice says. It's Blye. "You don't need to talk, you are still weak. You lost a lot of blood you know!" she adds and walk close to me holding a notebook.
"…Peeta…?" I ask weakly with a husky voice. My lungs hurt.
She didn't heard me –probably- because she keeps talking.
"I will inform you for your current situation. You are hurt really badly on your sides, back, legs and chest" she starts reading things on her notebook aloud.
"I kept you drugged for two days so you will regain some energy." She finishes and then looks at me. She can see that I am finding it hard to form words so she stops me.
"Peeta has told me everything that happened. You don't need to explain anything. You just need to rest!" She says and walks to her desk. She leaves her notebook carefully inside a drawer and closed it with her foot.
She grabs something and walks next to me again.
"I found this a day after you were brought here. I think it fell of your finger!" Blye says and shows me a ring.
My engagement ring.
My thump trailed on my palm and then to my finger that the ring was supposed to be. It was missing.
Apparently, Blye was holding the right ring.
"I thought you would want it!" she adds and slides the ring on my ring finger.
I weakly turn to see the ring. The pearl is glowing on the morning sun.
This is what I last see before drifting to sleep.
When I wake up again, I see Blye sitting on her desk. She is focusing on something and for a moment she doesn't look like the sixteen year old girl that moved to twelve from thirteen. She takes of her glasses and looks at me.
"Morning!" Blye says and smiles.
"Peeta?" I ask after clearing my throat.
"He just left. He said he will be right back. Something about telling Thom in the bakery" She explains and I nod. I need to see him.
She walks close to me and pinches my leg. I wince in pain.
"Can you feel that?" she asks and I nod while grinding my teeth.
"This?" she asks again and presses my sided.
"God yes!" I say and let out a breath. It hurts. Very much.
"This might hurt more than the other" she says and presses my chest lightly. It was just a faint touch but it was enough to make me scream in pain.
"Yes, I warned you. Here he stabbed you with the knife. For your own luck when he was stabbing you he had regained himself so he didn't kill you, but he hit a little next to your heart." Blye says and gives me a hopeful smile. I nod.
"Thank you Blye!" I say and give her a small smile. She raises her eyebrow
"This is the first good thing you told me since I came here!" she rolls her eyes and walks to the door. I am about to say something when I too familiar voice cuts me off.
"Katniss?"
"Peeta!" I say and try to move my arm towards him.
"Carefully girl. You broke that arm!" Blye says and raise her eyebrows. I avoid her and try to give Peeta my best smile but he isn't moving. He stays standing in the doorway frozen. He clenches his fists and he has a totally scared expression drawn all over his face. I keep looking at him but the smile has long died.
"Peeta?" I ask with a low voice.
Can't he understand I need him now?
We just stare at each other for what it seems to be ages until Blye walks towards Peeta and pushes him a little towards me.
"I might be younger but I can see she needs you. She is being asking for you since she woke up" she says and leaves us alone. He swallows hard and walks a little close to me.
"Hello Katniss" he says a little too formal that annoys me but the fact I hear is voice is making me happy.
"Peeta" I repeat and try to hold his hand with my good hand. I want him to know how much I want him right now. How much I need him.
I takes a few steps behind and my expression gets more worried.
"I am sorry Katniss" he says with a shaking voice. "I can't do this anymore" this is the last thing he says before turning around and leaving running.
And I am left all alone.
I am left all alone until the time Blye lets me leave from her office.
It's been about two weeks since I last saw Peeta and I am almost running towards his house when I was discharged to leave. I called my mother and tell her that there is no need to come to twelve.
She was calling almost every day though, and I was glad Delly was coming to visit me.
But Peeta was nowhere. The only thing that kept me company for him was my engagement ring.
My arm is covered in hard bandages that prevent the bones from moving. I keep walking fast towards Victor's Village. I open the door of my house fast and I almost fall over the stairs while I run to my room. But something distracts me.
Everything is normal. Peeta's things are not here.
But I can recall the memory of us moving his things in my house. The table that was broken is being replaced with a new one. I throw the bag with the little clothes on the floor and head outside almost running. It started to get late but I have no idea where I am heading to. I just burst out of my house and stand outside dump founded when I see him.
I see Peeta waking out of his house with his hands hidden in his pockets.
"Peeta!" I say almost shouting. He turns to look at me and here it is again. The fear drawn on his face. He takes a step back while I am walking towards him.
I leaned immediately forward searching for his lips but he pushes me away.
He gives me a sorry look. I look at him more confused than ever.
I try to hold his hand but he takes a step back.
"Peeta what is going on?" I ask and frown. I am an annoyed, angry and hurt. Why has he changed?
"I am sorry Katniss" he says and looks at the ground.
"Explain Peeta. What is going on?" I say shouting now. "Since the accident you are not talking to me. You only say you are sorry and whenever I try to kiss you or touch you, you are resisting me!" I say and the anger starts to show up.
"What? Are we going to call it the accident now?" he says and this time I take a step back. "I wanted to kill you Katniss. I was going to do it, If I hadn't regain myself enough to prevent it" he says with a hard voice. "And I can't do this anymore" he says and frowns.
"Wh-what do you mean?" I ask my voice cracking in the wrong places. He takes a deep sigh and looks up at me with the hardest expression I have ever seen Peeta with. His words are a punch in my stomach.
"I am not in love with you anymore" he says and I let everything sink in.
What? This can't be. How? Why?
His expression is so emotionless that I want to make him pay for it.
I raise my hand and slap him fast and hard. My tears streaming down my cheeks.
"You…" I say and look at the red mark that start to form on his cheek.
"YOU NEVER CRAWL UNDER MY SKIN AND THEN SAY YOU DON'T LOVE ME" I yell at him and start running towards my house.
I slam the door behind me before collapse on the floor.
Everyone's voices in my head.
"Trust him"
"He loves you"
"He betrayed me" I growl under my breath while sobs escape my mouth.
I hate him.
He lied to me.
I hate Peeta Mellark.
I hate him because he made me love him.
I don't know how I managed to walk until my bedroom that night. I just know that when I woke up screaming from a nightmare;
a) I was sleeping on my bed.
b) Peeta wasn't there to comfort me, reminding me what happened that day.
The first day without him was the hardest of my life.
And I am not overreacting.
I woke up from the nightmare with my eyes red and puffy from the tears. I wore my rope around my pyjamas and walked downstairs.
Blindly I walk downstairs. I feel the house and everything choking me so I get outside and into the small garden in front of my house.
There in front my house, are the evening primroses he planted.
I can't understand. He loved me.
He proposed to me.
I keep looking at the primroses. He had plant her so nicely. So gently.
My fingertips move to the flower and start stroking the pedals until I hear footsteps from behind me.
"Peeta?" I ask trying to keep my voice steady. It's hard, all I want to do is burst into tears.
"Why are you awake?" he asks with a cold voice.
He is killing me
"I couldn't sleep anymore" I answer with a low voice while inside of me I am yelling "I had a nightmare and you weren't there"
"Why are you here?" I ask giving weight on the word 'you'. He doesn't answer for a while but I hear him coming closer to me.
"I need to get something" he says with suck an emotionless voice. I turn to look at him for the first time.
His eyes are red too but he doesn't seem to care.
We are a few inches away and I just want to lean in and kiss him but I don't.
He doesn't love you Katniss!
Without even realizing what is going on he grabs my left hand and takes the ring he gave me.
My engagement ring.
"WHAT?" I ask shouting.
"I want this back!" He says without any emotion in his voice.
"NO!" I yell at him stubbornly and try to take the ring back.
"No Katniss! You can't understand?" He asks with a furious voice. I have only seen once Peeta so furious. I bet Haymitch has woken up.
"See that?" Peeta continues and shows me the ring between his thump and intdex. I try to reach it but he hides it again in his palm.
"Forget it!" He shouts and throws the ring as far as he could. I look at him so sternly so hurt.
"What is going on?" I hear Haymitch shouting from afar and walking towards us. I raise starts punching and hitting Peeta with all the power that is left in me.
"Y-you! You lied to me!" I scream hysterically. "You promised!" I raise hy hand to slap him but I feel Haymitch's hand on mine.
"You don't want to hit him" Haymitch says while tears are streaming down my cheeks. I start to thrust around to get away from his grip.
"Fine. Sweetheart. Go ahead!" Haymitch says giving up on holding me back. I walk furiously close to Peeta and raise my hand again ready to slap him.
His face is so stern. So emotionless and cold. A sob escapes my lips and I feel my legs too weak to held my weight.
"You promised" I say so low like a whisper and I let my hand fall next to me and rush inside the safety of my house.
Where I can die safe and alone