A/N: *hem hem* sorry.? I guess...? Go listen to "My heart is broken by Evanscence" it will help! :3

I have to go out for a whole month. The last move I remember myself doing was walking like a walking dead till the bathroom and falling again to my bed, burring myself into the blankets to my, now smelling bad, pyjamas that I wore that day.

That day he broke me

I am not talking either. Haymitch and Sae are barely making me eat a few slices of break every two weeks. I can hear them talking about me.
They say they are afraid I will die.

LET ME DIE THEN!

I can compare myself now to how I was when Peeta was in the Capitol and I thought he was dead.

Maybe he is actually dead for me now.

Sae is begging me to open my lips and talk. But her tries are useless. I disgust myself because I became my worst enemy. I became like the person I was mad at when I was younger. I because like my mother. But I don't have children. I only affect myself. I feel myself getting weaker and weaker every day. But what does really matter?
I am afraid to stay awake because the memories of him are there to hunt me.
I can't bring myself to sleep because the nightmares are there to torture me.

Sweet sleep. My dark angel.

I sleep the most of the day. In the middle I wake up screaming.
The other half of the day, I am staring at the wall curled up into the human ball I've created.
The darkness starts to overtake me. I know.
Life seems useless.

He shouted to me. He was so cold and emotionless. He got the only thing that I had from him and throw it away like it was nothing to him.
Maybe it really is nothing to him.

But somehow it came back to me:

"Here" Haymitch says and places something with big force on my nightstand. I ignored him and he let out a grown in frustration. He doesn't want to see me like that. But sincerely FUCK THAT! When he slams the door behind him I weakly look up at the night stand to meet with the pearl glowing. A tiny smile creeps on my lips and my shaking hand trails and grab the ring. I look at it better and like it's magic, it travels me back where he gave me the pearl. Where he sat on one knee and proposed. Where he got the ring and threw it away…

I hold it as close I can now to get the less amount of comfort I can get from it. I want it to be my only company.

I hear the door opening but I don't make any attempt to look who it is. I already know.

"Here she is. She still hasn't eaten anything nor talk to anyone yet" I hear Sae saying with a worried voice. I hear the door closing and then a few footsteps closer to me.
"How you feel today sweetheart?" I hear Haymitch's voice ringing into my brain waking up some nerves of my body just shot him a glare. The weakest glare in the history of glares.
"Lost your voice again?" he asks trying to make an attempt for a joke but fail. I ignore him. He sighs and clenches his fists tightly trying to keep his temperature.

"Katniss, I am being serious now! You will starve yourself to death. You can' keep going like that!" he says and he finally meets with my eyes that are red from the tears and burning.

He is sober.
He is worried.
He is serious.

He feels sorry for me! I DON'T NEED ANYONE TO BE SORRY FOR ME!

"Listen. If you don't want to talk to anyone, FINE! Just eat something. You're like a walking dead! Wait correction. A laying dead!" Haymitch says and turns to leave. I open my mouth and my voice comes out husky and low.

"He broke me Haymitch" I say and start to shake again from head to toes. I don't want to be weak but right now. I am! The strong Katniss that I once knew is gone. She has gone away with him. I became like my mother. Sick.

"My heart is broken" I mumble with the same weak whisper. IT's the first time I hear my voice in a month. It's shocking me.
"I know what happened sweetheart. But if you keep doing that, at the end you will die. Do you really want to die?" he says and I don't answer.

Do I really want to die?

"I don't want to feel. I don't want to think. I don't want to talk." I say and a few tears roll down m y cheeks "He is always there" I add and a sob escapes my throat. I close my eyes letting the darkness cover me. I feel his hand on my arm, patting me gently. Like I am a wounded animal.
A movement of sympathy. Something Haymitch would never do.

"Peeta…" I say his name for the first time after all this time. "He said to take the every day after the other. Day after day." I say and keep my eyes closed as the flashback of our first night together comes to my mind.
"How can I do this…? He is not here anymore… He left… He is gone!" I say and cry louder against my pillow. He sighs.

"Just please. Eat something. I don't want you to die. I am still your mentor. You can't die after everything you've gone through" he says and walks away from me. I look at him, and between the teary fog in front of my eyes I see him standing against the door frame and I hear him mumbling something under his breath:

"Just stay alive"

I am left all alone.

Feeling my heart breaking in million pieces.

My heart is broken.

Peeta's POV

Two months.
Two whole months have gone since I last saw Katniss. I remember clearly the tears running down her cheeks. How she furiously walked to me, but didn't bring herself to hit me.
She had hit me again.
She did slap me though. And the only thing that came through my mind when she did was: "I deserve it. Hit me again"
And her words creeping on me. Hunting my once pleasant dreams. "You never crawl under my skin and then say you don't love me"

But every time I am thinking of how she showed me mercy after of how coldly I treated her, it's a punch in my stomach. I've never seen her so hurt again actually.

After that night. The night I threw the ring away. I haven't seen her again. She doesn't go out and her house is the most of the day dark. OR at least I haven't seen her going out. But I am not the only one. Almost the whole district that comes to the bakery, are asking me about Katniss and I am hesitating to answer. But I have now learnt to answer the same thing again and again. "I am sorry. I don't know"

Mrs. Maisy, Delly, Blye and even Tulie – Marvel's sister- are the ones to ask more often.

Whenever I am waking up from nightmares searching for her to get comfort I remember what happened and I have to remind myself every time that I did it for her. I did it to protect me.
I had sworn to protect her from anything but I wasn't able to protect her from myself! Pictures of her laying into a lake of blood senseless is the most often visitor on my nightmares.
But she is fine.

She is safe.

She only needs to stay away from me.
It hurts. It hurts a lot more than what it sounds like. But I just want her safe and sound. She might a day be okay again and find someone who will protect her.
I am not sure if I will survive it. I try to avoid the feeling but the only thing I am doing is to torture myself.

It hurts but I will survive.

I hear the door knocking. It knocks again and again until I whip the tears off my eyes and drag my legs out of the sofa and towards the door.

"What the hell you think you are doing boy?" Haymitch bursts in the house furiously. I look at him dumb founded and I close the door behind him. "You can't make her open to you like that and then dump her like you did!" He shouts and I keep looking at him with a questioning look even If I know he is talking about Katniss. And simply he is right. I made her open to me. She trusted me.

I put on the cold look trying to block all the feeling, but the question is itching me.

"How is she?" I ask and I want to punch me the same second.
"You really want to know how she is?" he asks ironically but his tone is sad.

What have I done?

"She doesn't move from her bed. She has to do anything normal for two months. She isn't talking to anyone. She wakes up in the middle of the night screaming so loud that I can hear her. And you know the worst?" he asks and walks slowly towards me. I swallow hard is there anything worst? "She is screaming your name" he hisses and I know my face looks like someone slapped me. Hard.

If Haymitch is right - that I hope he is mistaking- then Katniss is not alright! But she will be! She has to be! She only has to stay away from me!

"I know what you are doing; you are considering yourself as danger to her. But she is worst without you. She is killing herself slowly kid!" Haymitch adds with a low voice. I can feel my heart beating fast against my chest. "She is barely eating" he continues "Her body has changed. She has turned into skin and bones. And it's your fault and only!" Haymitch adds.

Wait… WHAT? She is trying to die? I left her so she will be happy and safe and she tries to die?!

"I wanted to protect her" I say with a low voice. So low that I am not even sure If he heard me.
"This time you failed, boy!" He answers and I feel like someone's hitting me with a ton of bricks.
I imagine Katniss. The Katniss I got engaged with. How healthy she looked despite her scars. Her smile, her laughter. Her eyes that could light up my whole world.

"I think she might try to give an end" Haymitch says, waking me up from my trance. I try to realize what he means but the only words that spin to my head are "She will die. She will try to suicide"
It's more painful than I thought. I left her to protect her but instead I was the one to hurt her the most.

I feel the cold and emotionless mask breaking into million tears that I try to hold back.

"You made her love you and then left her. She says you hate her" Haymitch says and I turn to look at almost offended. I try to object but he talks again. "I know you don't. She says she hates you" he adds making my stomach flip.
She has to hate me!
She needs to hate me!
"But she doesn't. You really think If she hated you, she would be like that?" he asks and I have no idea when he left. I am just left dumbfounded. With everything spinning to my head.

Feeling my heart breaking in million pieces.

My heart is broken.

A:N: Comment and Vote.
Tell me what you would like to happen next so I won't have a hard "Writer's block" again. xD
Believe me. Evey single idea you tell me. I read it. And I will use it in the future! :3

Love you! 3

Peace and may the odds be ever in your favor! :D
Till next time: ^Girl in Darkness^

"My heart is broken... Sweet sleep, my dark angel"