"This is a complete waste of my time and talent."
Batman studied the next section of the obstacle course carefully. It was your typical 'wall covered in boxing gloves that would occasionally spring out as you make your way across the narrow platform and try not to fall off' gimmick.
Fortunately for Batman, he was Batman, which meant that it would be no trouble for him. He ducked and dodged his way through most of it with little difficulty. Then one of the punching arms became stuck as it extended. This wasn't a problem, until the arm became un-stuck and sprung back, hitting Batman and sending him tumbling into the murky swamp water below.
"Oh-ho-ho!" Chris said form his helicopter. "Here's hoping Batman has some Bat-stain-remover in his utility belt!"
The Dark Knight merely grumbled as he climbed back onto the platform.
"C'mon, Batman, this can't be THAT hard compared to what you normally do!" Wyldstyle stated as she made her way up a climbing wall ahead of him.
"Yeah, I do this kind of thing for fun all the time!" Pepper stated, hanging from a set of crudely constructed monkey bars. He has somehow managed to get in the lead. "Though I usually leave out the giant four-legged spider-bug things."
Chris laughed. "Yeah, gotta love the giant spide-" His smiled dropped. Slowly he picked up a walkie-talkie. "Uh, Chef, did you put giant spiders in the course?"
"I don't think so," Came the reply. "We got boxing gloves, rusty nails, rickety bridges, maybe a shark or two…"
A shark suddenly sprang up from the water next to Batman, who reacted by throwing a batarang at it.
"…But no giant spiders," Chef finished.
Chris frowned. "Huh. Oh well, a few giant spiders never killed anybody! Wait…"
"Um, dude? There's a bit more than a few giant spiders," Pepper swung up on top of the monkey bars as the oversized arachnids began to scale the obstacle course's supports. One of them even leapt at him and tried to bite his arm, but he yanked it away just before it made contact. "Yikes!"
"Man, those things are vicious!" Chris commented. "I wonder if they have anything to do with the blue portals that ate all the contestants…"
"Blue portals?" Batman asked, now wrestling with the shark. "Why didn't you tell us that sooner?!"
"Hey, I learned about them very last minute, AND I have a show to run!" Chris retorted, lowering his helicopter a bit so he could converse better- and get a closer shot with the mounted camera.
"But if you have no contestants, then you won't be able to make any more episodes," Wyldstyle pointed out, using a plank of wood to fend of more spiders.
"One thing at a time, alright? Sheesh!" Chris exclaimed. He looked at a screen in the helicopter that displayed the feed from the mounted camera. "Man, these are some WEIRD looking spiders, though! They only have four legs, and when you look at the, from above they kinda look like weird faces with giant foreheads." He beamed. "It's TV gold!"
"Well I'm afraid you're going to have to cut this episode short," Batman stated as he threw the shark off of him and whipped out his grappling hook, which he fired at one of the helicopter's landing skids.
Chris leaned out of the side of the chopper. "Hey, no free rides!"
"Take it out of my paycheck," Batman retorted. He then swung on the cable to Wyldstyle, who he extended an arm towards. She gladly took it before the two sung towards Pepper. The pizza delivery boy took ahold of Wyldstyle's free hand. "Pull up!"
The TV host groaned as he pulled the control stick, causing the helicopter to rise. A single spider leapt towards them and latched onto Pepper's leg, but he quickly kicked it off.
Spotting a trail of spiders, Wyldstyle pointed towards the center of the island. "It looks like they're coming from that way!"
"That way?" Chris raised an eyebrow. "But that's where- oh no, MY TRAILER!" Wasting no time, the he directed the helicopter towards the source of the infestation.
"What do you dudes think these things are?" Pepper shouted over the sound of the helicopter's engine.
"No idea," Batman replied. "But unless this place is also a toxic waste dump, I don't think they're native to this dimension."
"Toxic waste, huh?" Chris rubbed his chin. "Interesting idea…"
"Focus on the sky, McLean!" Wyldstyle shouted. The last thing we need right now is to-"
A metallic silver blob suddenly shot towards them, smacking into the helicopter. It unwrapped into sticky strands that tangled around the main rotor and jammed it.
"Aw, crap," Chris cursed as the helicopter began to descend. He quickly threw on a parachute and goggles before leaping out of the stalled vehicle, falling past the three guest stars. "See you guys on the ground!"
Acting fast, Batman unlatched his grappler from the helicopter and flayed out his cape, which extended and stiffened into gliding wings, slowing their fall as the chopper fell past them. "Hang on! These were only built for one person!"
The other two complied, though it did little good as they ran into the treetops. The three were sent tumbling down, smacking into what seemed like very branch and patch of leaves on the tree. Finally, they hit ground, landing in a large mud puddle.
"Well, that could have gone better," Wyldstyle stated dryly as she pulled a nest off of her head, complete with eggs and a mother bird.
"Any idea what shot at us?" Batman asked, shaking a frightened squirrel off of his arm.
"I think I have a pretty good guess," Pepper replied as he pointed behind the other two. They turned around to see a small camp of trailers that had been completely overtaken by the spiders. Everything was covered in the same metallic strands that had snagged the helicopter, forming what seemed to be a small fortress. Even the helicopter itself, which had crashed down nearby and was now a pile of red pieces, was being rapidly overtaken.
The spiders themselves were everywhere, skittering over their makeshift base. At the center was a massive black and orange creature that looked more like a traditional spider, consisting of a head, thorax and abdomen and supported on eight legs.
"That thing has to be their leader!" Batman stated, pulling out a batarang. "We take it down and the others will scatter!"
"Do we really want them spreading out more?" Wyldstyle asked.
"This is and island- they'll be trapped here until we can find a way to contain them."
"Unless they can swim," Pepper pointed out.
Their discussion was suddenly interrupted by a brick-curdling moan. The three turned back to find a group of interns with spiders latched onto their faces.
"Oh, so THAT'S why they look like faces!" Wyldstyle chuckled. "Lovely."
"We have to get past them without harming the interns!" the Dark Knight stated.
After a moment of consideration, Pepper reached into his backpack and pulled out a pizza box. Opening it, he slid the pizza out and chucked it at the interns. It smacked into one of them, causing the spider to shriek as the piping-hot cheese came into contact with it. The other spiders looked at their comrade in confusion.
"Now!" Pepper exclaimed. The three figures bolted past the confused spider-interns, knocking them over.
"Do you always carry fresh pizza in your bag?" Wyldstyle asked.
Pepper raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, why?"
"Never mind."
"We need to distract that thing while we find a way to defeat it!" Batman said, pulled out his grappler and using it to get to the top of a large tree next to the 'spider fortress'.
"Got any more pizza?" Wyldstyle asked.
Pepper reached into his bag and pulled out another box. "Always!" He pulled his arm back before hurling the pizza at the 'king' spider. It landed on one side of its face, causing the massive arachnid to scream as the sauce got in its eyes.
Batman, meanwhile, was pelting it with batarangs. "I can't find any weak spots in its armor!"
"Then we'll have to find a different way to beat it. Preferably before we become spider-chow," Pepper stated as the smaller spiders started to break off from the fortress and skitter towards them.
Wyldstyle studied the area, her Master Builder instincts kicking in. Being a mainly natural environment there weren't a lot of sources of pieces, especially not nearby. Except for one…
"I have an idea!" she announced. "Help me get to the helicopter!"
"Uh, dude, it's kinda destroyed and being overtaken by bugs," reminded her.
Wyldstyle grabbed his arm and pulled him towards the chopper parts. "Just trust me! And help me get the bugs off!"
The pizza dude shrugged. "Alright." He then punched one of the spiders, trying to knock it off the brick pile. However, the spider more than withstood his blow and hissed at him. "Uh-oh." Acting fast, he pulled out another pizza and splattered it in the creature's face, causing it to shriek and scurry away.
"Seriously, how many pizzas do you have in that thing?" Wyldstyle asked as she threw off another spider.
"I dunno. A lot," the pizza fig replied.
Dropping the subject before it gave her a headache, Wyldstyle turned back to the pile of helicopter pieces and started building. She took pieces of the tail to form a long vertical pole, then used the landing skids and rotors to form a large square at the top, lacing the silver webbing through it in a crisscross pattern.
Pepper examined the build. "Oh, I get it!"
Wyldstyle nodded before turning back to the battle. "Hey Bats, we need your grappler!"
Batman looked up from the large spider to see Wyldstyle and Pepper next to a large build. He nodded, whipped put his grapple gun and firing at the top of the structure. Pepper and Wyldstyle pushed on the bottom while he pulled, sending the entire thing toppling down onto the king spider. The massive arachnid screeched as it became trapped under the square section of the build, effectively getting tangled in its own webbing.
"Giant flyswatter. Nice," Pepper nodded.
"Thanks," Wyldstyle stated. "Hey, look- the other spiders are backing off!"
Sure enough, the smaller spiders began to scatter after seeing their leader had fallen, retreating into the thick-forested parts of the island.
"So, what do we do about this guy?" Pepper asked, pointing to the king spider.
"We phone a friend," Batman replied before activating a communicator in his cowl. "X-PO, we need a portal."
"Oh? Heading back to Gotham already?" the robot replied.
"No, we need to meet at Vorton," the capes crusader replied as he examined the giant spider. "We have a bit of a situation."
A familiar blue vortex opened up behind them, which they quickly jumped through. It was going to be a long day…
"Uh, guys?" Chris shouted, dangling form where his parachute had gotten stuck in a tree. "A little help?"
The sound of several dozen tiny footsteps drew his attention downward, where he saw a group of the spiders climbing up the tree towards him.
"AAAH! No! Not the face! NOT THE FACE!"