Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this story.

They all belong to their rightful owner: Craig Bartlett.

Title: "Roadside girl"

In the last chapter: After Helga had left Circle Theatre, Arnold went back to confront David. It was Gerald though he winded up telling Arnold that Helga lives in Los Angeles now, but David was the one to tell Arnold that a scout had been seeking out Helga lately.

At home, Miriam confronted Helga herself after having heard her cry for about an hour in her room. Miriam's former teenage romance taught Helga a lesson she didn't want to learn, but Miriam insisted that it was different from her and Arnold and so Helga went back to Circle Theatre.

Back with the others, Arnold told Helga that he had been in love with her for seven years and he wasn't ready to give up simply because of the long distance. Helga then got a call from the director who told her that the scout, Tate Haddock, had changed his mind: he would never make his decision after the premiere of Roadside Girl, but rather after the next practice.

Author's 1st note: Well, I honestly thought this chapter would involve the scout a bit more, but I somehow managed to write a whole "leading-up" to the scout rather than what I have planned for Tate Haddock to do while he is with them during practice xD You'll get to read that next time!

[Please notify me if you notice any grammar mistakes. This isn't my first language, so there's bound to be mistakes.]

Chapter 19: "Forgive my selfishness"

To say that Arnold was nervous Monday morning would be an understatement. He was basically running all the way to Hillwood Theatre and ended up being there thirty minutes earlier than needed. He hunched over and panted loudly, urging the ringing in his ears to disappear. Once his breath calmed down, he noticed a voice ricocheting from inside the auditorium. "You made a mistake on the day that you met me and lost your way." The voice sang and Arnold recognized it instantly. "You saw all the signs, but you let it go. You closed your eyes. I should've told you to leave 'cause I knew all the time you couldn't handle me, but you're hard to resist when you're on your knees, begging me."

Arnold smiled. I wonder if she even slept here…? He wondered and pondered whether he should walk inside or not. He didn't want to disturb her after all. He stayed outside for a bit, listening to Helga singing, until he couldn't resist the temptation anymore and went inside quietly. Helga didn't notice him at all as she kept singing and dancing to the melancholic melody. "I wasn't always this way; I used to be the one with the halo, but that disappeared when I had my first taste and fell from grace. It left me in this place. Now I'm starting to think, maybe you like it?"

Arnold crouched through the seats and eventually hid behind the front row. He did wonder if she would get furious once she noticed him, but he figured that as long as he didn't interrupt her practicing then noticing him later wouldn't be a problem so Arnold stayed between the two front rows and listened to Helga. She definitely belongs on the stage… he thought as his smile fell. He had put on a brave face Saturday night, but in reality, he was beyond terrified that a long-distance relationship couldn't work.

Arnold wasn't questioning his own nor Helga's feelings. They had lived without the other for seven years straight without any contact at all, but… now that he knew he was in love with her and knew she was in love with him too, could he really live without her? Could they both really continue to love someone if they couldn't see, hear or touch each other? Helga might be a Broadway actress soon and Arnold was planning to become a therapist, would they even have time for phone calls? When one of them would have time, then the other might not and then that vicious circle would continue until they would give up. The scenario hurt to even think about and Arnold sighed. Where did my idealism go?

"Arnold!" Helga shrieked and tripped over her own foot. Arnold's head shot right up and he realized that sometime during his reverie, he had moved to sit on one of the seats and made himself visible to Helga. "Ow…" she groaned and rubbed her ankle. "Oh, God! Helga, are you ok?" Arnold asked in panic, imagining Helga on crutches and the play getting cancelled. He ran up on the stage and sat down near her foot. "Yeah, I think - - whoa!" she exclaimed when he grabbed her bare ankle. She hadn't been wearing any shoes since this particular song she had been practicing was supposed to take place in Adrasteia's dream and she would be wearing a nightgown and naturally no shoes for that scene.

"It doesn't seem like it's broken or even sprained…" Arnold observed as he twisted Helga's ankle around in order to look at it from all angles. "I already said it's fine! M-More importantly; look at our position." Helga barked embarrassedly and Arnold did indeed look up at her. When he had taken her ankle in his hands before, he had pulled on her leg and thereby forced her into a laid-back position where her elbows became the only thing holding her up. The thigh on her other leg was nestled on top of his leg, closely to his groin.

"Ah… s-sorry." Arnold mumbled absentmindedly and put Helga's ankle down next to his hip. He had been about to place it in front of him, but had then realized that would mean putting it right in front of his pelvis, which would probably turn into his own inconvenience later. "Airhead." Helga said snidely and used her leg to pull him closer until their hips touched. He hissed sharply at the feeling, but she just grinned innocently at him, obviously not trying to start something.

At that moment, Arnold realized that this would be impossible to do soon; to just sit in front of each other, talking and teasing. This happiness would become a memory once Helga was gone. He wouldn't be able to see her face, her smile or even her scowl. Hearing her voice would become a rare treat and the feel of her skin would be an illusion his mind would bestow upon him in his most desperate dreams.

Arnold grabbed Helga's hands and pulled her roughly towards him, clashing his lips against hers. It had all happened so quickly that Helga gasped once her mouth was against his. "A-Arnold, what brought this on?" she asked in surprise once she had managed to remove herself from him, but rather than answering, he just started to desperately kiss her neck instead. The surprising – almost choked – moan she made sounded like heaven on earth to him. He kept kissing and licking her neck and collarbone in order to hear more of that addictive sound.

Arnold wanted – no, needed – to feel more of Helga; he wanted her body pressed against his until her shape was imprinted on his skin. When his hand sneaked up under her tank top though, she froze. "A-Arnold!" she choked, but also moaned at his gentle touch. "We're on the middle of the stage a-and practice starts soon." She whispered huskily. She felt a slight hesitation in his hands and she was sure he would listen to logic and eventually let go. Unexpectedly, Arnold, rather than letting go, pushed Helga back down on the floor, grabbed her hands and tangled his fingers with hers, starting to kiss her vigorously.

Arnold could feel Helga feebly trying to argue against him and even tried to push him away with her hips. "Wait…" she begged weakly, feeling her resolve crumble with each of his touches. "Please…" he whispered once he had put his mouth near her ear. Helga trembled beneath him, his hot breath sending series of shivers down her spine. He had her full attention despite her body's eager responses to everything he was doing. "Touch me." He continued huskily, need and desperation leaking from his voice. She had never heard him request anything with such a tone before and it created goose bumps all over her skin to know that she was the only one that could give him what he needed.

Helga decided to question Arnold's spur of passion later; right now, she could feel that his arousal was getting contagious and her hands jumped up to his cheeks. Her lips met his just as ferociously as his had kissed hers before. He groaned as her hands started roaming under his t-shirt and he used his hands on her lower back to pull her up and grind himself against her. She breathed shakily, warmth starting to spread all over her body. Hs body started to feel scolding hot against her fingers, but she was willing to even get burnt by him as long as it meant she could continue to touch him.

Helga grabbed the hem of Arnold's t-shirt in order to pull it off, but kept a strong hold around his hips with her legs to make sure he didn't move even a mere inch away from her. He had no intention of doing that though as he arched his back and pulled his t-shirt over his head, showing off his very toned torso. Helga was practically drooling at the sight; he had gone more toned since she last saw him? It was possible; Ludmilla had been working them harder lately.

Arnold didn't notice Helga's lusty gaze at all though; he was far too engrossed in his own arousal and her hands on him felt cool and soothing to his beating heart, but it also left him hungry for more. As soon as his t-shirt was discarded, he pulled Helga up to remove her top as well. She obediently lifted her arms when his impatient hands started pulling her top upwards. He threw it somewhere near his own shirt, wasted no time before his arms wrapped around her back and held her to him so tightly that she felt like she was wearing a corset. With one arm snaked around Helga's waist and his other hand up on her shoulder, he started to kiss, nibble and lick on the sensitive skin on the nape of her neck, unconsciously deciding to mark her. That was it; he wanted to mark her as his own for the whole world to see – a possessive thought that had never crossed his mind with any other girl.

Arnold was beyond tempted to remove the last layer between him and Helga; his hand even went under what he believed was the clasp of her bra though he wasn't trying to take it off… really. "The clasp is in the front." Helga whispered and gave the shell of his ear a firm lick before biting the lobe. That was all the encouragement he needed and he moved his hands between their chests. He fumbled with the clasp for a bit, as he kissed her; his hands were awkward due to his inexperience with this type of bra, but it was also as much due to the fact his excitement simply make him clumsy.

Once it was opened, Arnold let it hang lazily over her shoulders rather than removing it completely and put his hands behind her back to push her closer to him again. The feeling of her naked flesh against his own was nothing less than heaven. To feel her so closely, to feel her heart beating in synch with his, to prove that she was indeed right here was a bittersweet feeling. It wouldn't last forever. One day, someday soon, he wouldn't be able to hold her like this anymore.

Helga was at first mildly confused by Arnold's sudden docility as he just kept holding her. It wasn't until she felt something liquid and warm land on her shoulder and then roll down her back, she realized where the source of his spur of passion had come from. Her heart clenched in agony and her arms went around and hugged him with a different kind of desperation than the one before. "Arnold…" she whispered in a sob and his breath hitched in his throat when he heard the guilt-plagued sorrow in her voice. He wanted to apologize for not being able to hide his true feelings very well; he didn't want her to feel guilty and he really was happy that she was getting so close to his dream, but, God, the thought of losing her again – even if it was only her physical presence – pained him more than he could have imagined.

The sound of a door opening in the distance caused the blondes to pull away from each other, freezing in panic. Helga was the first one to regain consciousness and she quickly grabbed Arnold's t-shirt and shoved it over his head since he didn't seem capable of doing it himself. At the feeling of the soft fabric against his nose, he woke up from his trance though and quickly closed Helga's bra from the front before grabbing her top and pulling it over her. They both shoved their arms into the sleeves of their garments as Arnold watched Helga absentmindedly. "I'm sorry…" he whispered, a guilty look in his eyes resembled the one in a puppy's eyes when it had been caught doing something wrong. She lifted her head to look at him, her lips becoming two thin lines before she grabbed Arnold's cheek and kissed him. She hoped this action could tell him more than her words could right then, especially since they didn't have time to talk about this right now.

"Uh, did we interrupt something?" Damon asked with a lopsided grin when he saw Helga sitting almost on top of Arnold on the stage. "Huh?" she mumbled as if she hadn't noticed them. "Oh, no. The scene's done." She replied and removed her legs from Arnold's to stand up. "The scene? Oh, you were practicing Adrasteia and Aiden's love scene?" Maria asked with her hands folded. "Yeah, we haven't practiced that scene in some time so we figured why not? We were both alone here anyway." Helga explained and offered Arnold her hand. He smiled at her, partially impressed with her quick thinking, but not surprised. He took her hand and stood up with her help.

"How long have you two been here?" Damon asked, not truly buying their excuse, but deciding to let them believe he did. "I've only been here for maybe ten minutes. Helga was here before me." Arnold replied and readjusted his t-shirt. "And I've been here since 6am." She continued, which caused them all to gawk at her. "Girl, you did get your beauty-sleep, right?" Damon asked in slight horror and Helga chuckled. "I swear I got seven hours of beauty sleep last night." She promised and he nodded approvingly. "Good, good. You'll need to look good too for the scout." Damon pointed out and Helga groaned. "Right… Tate Haddock." She muttered, having forgotten about him for the last couple of minutes.

"I've heard he's supposed to be pretty strict." Maria mumbled thoughtfully and Damon nodded. "Yeah, I've heard that too; a real hardass. One of those types of people where you wonder what snuck up in his crack and died." Damon agreed thoughtfully, but immediately shut his mouth when he saw Helga's hateful glare towards them. "Thanks, you two." She sneered and Maria apologized in a small voice while Damon coughed uncomfortable. Arnold put his arm over Helga and tried soothing her. "It'll be ok, Helga. Just do what you always do and he'll love you." he said and she smiled a bit. All things considered, Arnold was truly rooting for her and it meant the world to her.

The sound of more people walking into the auditorium caught their ears. They looked towards the door where most of the cast was starting to walk in as they chatted, David and the director in front of them. When David and Helga's eyes met, her expression grew hard before she walked away and went towards the backstage. Arnold sighed before David approached them. "I guess I don't need to ask if Helga still hates me…" he muttered before walking up on the stage. "Can you blame her?" Damon asked with a sneer, but Arnold frowned at him. "That's unnecessary, Damon."

"Oh, I don't think so. I heard the whole thing from Maria. What the fuck is wrong with you?" Damon asked angrily, crossing his arms. "You told him?" David asked in surprise and Maria shrunk a little in embarrassment. "Don't put this on Maria. She did her best not to make you sound like the villain, but despite her doing a good job, I still consider you the bad guy here." Damon explained before Maria could. "I know I'm the bad guy here. The messenger always gets blamed after all." David retorted. "Oh, you cowardly - - " Damon started, but Arnold stepped in-between them. "Stop it! First of all, we should not fight here, at least not today." He said sternly. The boys looked at each other for a bit, but then they both took a step back. "Second. David, you should know that Helga is not mad at you for the reason you think."

"Huh? Not for the reason… then why?" David asked in confusion. "Well, last night she told me… that, uh, it's more about…" Arnold started unsurely, gave a cautious look in Damon and Maria's direction and then leaned towards David's ear. "It's more the unhealthy obsession part." He whispered and leaned back to observe his reaction. David blinked a couple of times and then groaned. "I only said that because I was angry! It was in the heat of the moment." He insisted, but Arnold just shrugged. "Don't tell me. Tell her." he said and tilted his head towards the backstage for impact. David sighed. "Fine. I'll apologize once we've got time, but that's not now. I just saw Tate Haddock outside. He'll be in here in a second and he's gonna want to talk to Helga."

"I'll go get her." Maria stated before she jogged away from the boys. She walked down the small steps from the stage and then knocked on the door. She didn't wait for an answer though; frankly, she had only nodded to tell Helga she was on her way in. Once inside, Helga turned to smile at her. "Did David send you?" she asked and Maria nodded. "In a way… Tate Haddock is outside." she answered and Helga's eyes widened. "Now?!" she hissed with a bit of panic on her face and then turned to look at herself in the mirror, her hand going up to her neck. "No, he's outside of the theatre, but David saw him and… What's wrong with your neck?"

"Huh? Oh, uh… n-nothing." Helga insisted, but her hand didn't leave her neck as she went towards her bag on the other side of the room. Maria cocked her head to the side and followed Helga soundlessly. Once Helga had grabbed a high-collared sweatshirt with her free hand from inside her bag, she turned around only to stumble back when she saw Maria right in front of her. "What are you hiding?" Maria asked with playfully narrowed eyes towards her hand. "Um… it's just a…" she muttered, but then sighed and removed her hand. "A hickey."

"Oh, my God! That is so corny! Arnold's quite possessive, huh?" Maria asked with a grin plastered on her face as she studied the very red mark on Helga's neck. "How do you get possessive from this?" Helga asked in confusion. "Oh, I read in an article once that people who leave hickeys on their partner are usually either possessive or insecure. I'm hoping Arnold's the first." Maria replied. Helga blinked a couple of times and then turned to look at her own blushing face in the mirror. Possessive… huh? She thought and couldn't help but smile at it. She quickly put her sweatshirt over her and zipped it all the way up to her neck. "Is it hidden?"

"Yup. Can't see your little love bite anymore." Maria answered, the grin still almost wider than her cheeks. "You're gonna tease me about this for a while, aren't you?" Helga asked and Maria wrapped her arm over her shoulders, despite Helga being taller than her. "You know me too well." she responded before they walked out of the room, both laughing. Helga looked around for a bit and saw Arnold standing next to David and Damon with a couple of girls around them as well. Helga frowned, not at the girls, but at David. She and Maria approached them and David was quick to notice them. "Helga, can I talk - - "

"Excuse us for a moment." Helga said, wrapped her arm around Arnold's and pulled him away before David could finish his sentence. He sighed behind them as they walked away, but Helga had other things on her mind. "Helga, you really should listen to David." Arnold said in a quiet voice, but she ignored him. Once they were a little further away from the rest, standing near the front rows, she turned to look at him. "Did you do it on purpose?" she asked with a smirk and he looked at her in confusion. "Did what?" he asked, wondering if she was thinking he was taking David's side or something.

Helga wasn't thinking about David though as she pulled the collar of her sweatshirt down enough to flash the red mark on her neck. "This." she explained as Arnold gawked at her neck. "Oh… uh… s-sorry…" he muttered, but she frowned at the tone in his voice. "You don't sound sorry?" she observed and pulled the collar back up. "Because… that would be hypocritical." He replied and she cocked an eyebrow. "Why?" she asked. "Because I… made it on purpose." Arnold answered, shut his eyes tight and put his arms up, awaiting the inevitable. "Arnold!" Helga scolded on shock and punched his arm though not roughly. "Are you mad?" he asked and put his defensive arms back down. "Because then I really am sorry."

"No, I'm not mad. I just… didn't think you were possessive." Helga explained, a mocking grin growing on her face. Rather than growing shy, which Helga had expected him to, Arnold blinked a couple of times and scratched his head thoughtfully. "I never have been before, but… something inside me just wanted to… mark you." he admitted, a blush forming on his cheeks. A flush also spread on hers and her hand went up to her neck, caressing the mark under her sweatshirt. He looked at her as she started to unzip the sweatshirt. "What are you doing?"

"Showing everyone I belong to you." Helga replied before wrapping the sweatshirt around her hips and tying the sleeves into a knot. "H-Helga, you really don't have to…" Arnold muttered as he looked at the proof of their passionate moment. "But I want to." She insisted and kissed his cheek. He couldn't help the boyish grin that spread on his face. When did I get like this? He wondered as she took his hand and let him back up on the stage. Maybe he had always been like that.

Maria, David, Damon and some of the other dancers were still casually chatting on the stage when Arnold and Helga came back. "Hey, Helga. Nervous yet?" one of the girls asked teasingly, a girl who Arnold remembered Helga had told him had slept with the director to get a role in the play. Since then, he had noticed that this girl seemed awfully jealous of Helga. "Don't you worry about me, Camille. I'll be fine." Helga answered with a smile only Arnold noticed was artificial. Camille smiled as well, though a small twitch of anger showed on her face for a second.

"What happened to your neck?" Damon asked and narrowed his eyes near Helga's neck. She turned to look at him and smirked. "What do you think?" she asked and shrugged with one of her shoulders for good measure. She could imagine the blush on Arnold's face despite not looking at him. "You dog!" Damon said when he realized and nudged a fist against Arnold's upper arm. Arnold smiled embarrassedly at him while Maria started nudging Helga's arm as well. "So you decided to embrace the perks of having a possessive boyfriend?" she whispered and Helga rolled her eyes. "Arnold's not possessive, Maria. He just…" she whispered, but then went quiet. Maria looked like she was about to ask what she meant, but then a couple of slow, but loud claps caught their ears.

When they all turned to look towards the source of the clapping, they could see the director standing next to none other than Tate Haddock. Helga immediately stiffened and Arnold's hand quickly went to her back. He started rubbing it in a soothing manner and he felt her spine go less tense within seconds. "Ladies and gentlemen. I represent to you; Tate Haddock." The director spoke and Tate gave a simple nod in Helga's direction, bluntly showing his disinterest in the others. Helga swallowed the growing lump in her throat and nodded back.

"Please, do not consider my presence a hindrance to today's practice. I simply wish to observe Helga Pataki, so the rest of you can relax." Tate said with a stiff and intimidating smile on his face. Camilla snorted lowly and leaned towards one of the other girls. "He makes it sound like Helga is the only one worth watching around here." She whispered and the girls simply nodded without responding. Helga ignored the comment; she had figured that several people in the cast would feel envy towards her, especially this talentless Camille girl. Why talentless? Why else would she have had to sleep with the director, Helga figured. She was a good dancer, albeit more vulgar than sexy at times, which was perfect for this particular play, but not for a lot of others. Helga didn't understand why Camille had felt the need to sell herself to begin with.

Helga walked towards the edge of the stage, sat down and jumped off it carefully. Tate offered her his hand and she took it firmly. "Good morning, Mr. Haddock." She greeted politely as she shook his hand. "Good morning, Miss Pataki. How are you doing?" he asked formally and pulled his hand away from her. "Quite well, thank you. How about you?" she asked with a slightly quirky smile. For a moment, Arnold feared that a man like Tate Haddock wouldn't appreciate Helga's way of asking, but the man smiled and answered her politely.

The director had been quiet so far, but now spoke up. "Well, let's begin everyone. Helga, please get back on the stage so we can warm up." He said and Helga was about to obey him until Tate interfered. "Oh, in fact, Mr. Hirsch. May I borrow Miss Pataki for a couple of minutes first?" Tate asked and the director looked baffled for a moment, something very unlike him. "Oh, well. Helga is our protagonist, she'll need to warm up." He tried to insist. "Oh, that's ok, sir. I've been here for more than an hour already. I'm warmed up." Helga stated and the director nodded. "Very well." he said and turned towards the others. "We shall start without Helga then."

"Passionate." Tate stated as he and Helga moved towards the door. "I like that." he added and Helga shot Arnold one last worried glance before she disappeared with him. Arnold exhaled a sigh he didn't realize he had been holding. Damon started to pat his back. "She's gonna be fine." He told Arnold and he nodded. "I know, I know." He insisted. "Then why so nervous?" Damon asked and Arnold opened his mouth to speak, but then closed it. "Mixed feelings?" Damon tried as the others started to get on their places. "I don't want to seem mean or selfish, but…" Arnold muttered shamefully, but Damon shook his head. "No, I totally get it. If Helga was my girl, half of me would wish that she would stay here too." He said. Arnold quirked an eyebrow at him and Damon put his hands up in mock defense. "I'm still as bent as a butcher's hook, I'm just speaking hypothetically."

"Bent as a butcher's hook?" Arnold repeated in confusion. "Yeah, you know… the opposite of: I'm as straight as a pencil?" Damon asked and Arnold finally understood. "Oh… what an awkward way to tell people you're gay." He murmured thoughtfully and started to walk towards his spot. "Oh, my God! Helga said almost the same thing when I first met her." he said in surprised excitement. "Yeah?" Arnold inquired with a smile and stopped walking. "Yes, though she said something like: that's a hell of a complicated way of saying it." Damon answered and laughed with the shorter blonde boy.

While Ludmilla started the usual exercises and while Arnold did do them all dutifully, his mind was somewhere else entirely. Do your best, Helga. Amaze him with… just being you. He thought and ignored the small voice that he had firmly locked inside the back of his mind. The small voice kept insisting that he didn't want Helga to succeed. He wanted her never to go to Broadway, never to be so far away from him. He wanted her to forget Los Angeles, forget her new dream. He couldn't bring himself to even admit those feelings to himself, couldn't get himself to realize how egoistic he truly was. Forgive my selfishness…

Author's 2nd note: Argh, towards the end of this chapter I got frustrated because I wanted to end it at a specific point, but then realized I hadn't made enough words so I was all… now what? xD I forced some more out of me than I would usually need to, but I made my quota of 5.000 words xD

Oh, and this may interest some of you: I have now officially chosen which story I will be writing next amongst the many, many ideas I have for HA! fanfiction xD I won't be saying much about it right now because I really want to shock people with this plot, but I can say this much: While romance will be involved, then unlike my former stories, it will not be the main focus, perhaps not even the second focus xD It'll be there, I swear, but it has a different focus than what is usual for my stories :3

Song:

Halestorm – "I'm not an angel"