Note: Before someone complains, yes, one of the following lines of clever dialogue (canned laughter ensues) is from Danganronpa Abridged Thing, and is not in fact my own.

"But…can't I have just one?" Frisk tied a ribbon in their hair and batted their eyes, hoping sheer cuteness would be enough to convince the cat-monster in front of them.

Said cat monster sighed, the bags under his eyes seeming to get deeper. He leaned on the edge of the ice cream cart, lighting a cigarette.

"Look, kid. It's 5:00. My shift's over, and I just did inventory. I can't sell you any Ice Mean."

They looked up, eyes glistening with tears.

"…Now what was that you said about the time you tried to impress those girls, and the ice cream melted all over your pants? Wait…ah, that's right. You wanted me to tell everyone in Snowdin, right?" They grinned, sliding a bottle of eyedrops in their pocket.

Any emotion melted off his face. Slowly, a deep frown formed, covering his young-looking face with wrinkles.

"…Just take the friggin' popsicle."

"Yaaaay! Thank you, Mister!" Frisk cheered and ran off as the monster wrote '1 pop – melted' on his inventory sheet.

"Stupid kid." He folded up the umbrella and began to push the cart home.

Snowdin was a lovely place, Frisk had to admit; the holiday lights hanging from the houses and the Christmas tree in the center of town reminded them of their neighbors, who kept their lights up year-round so they could celebrate every day. A pang of homesickness rose in their chest, but they suppressed it and marched onward.

Into the tobacco-scented hoodie of a tall skeleton.

"Hey, kid. You gonna skip town without seeing my brother first?" An array of bones materialized behind Papyrus. "Not a good idea, pal."

"WhoaWHOAholdon." Frisk waved their hands in front of them defensively. "He never gave me his address! I didn't even know he lived here! Seriously, what's wrong with you?!"

The bones disappeared.

"Oh, okay. Guess I'll give you the tour, then." Papyrus shoved his hands in his pockets. "I'll make you some of my spaghetti while I'm at it. Bone apetit."

Frisk nodded, and wondered why monsters were so quick to kill any random child. If they didn't know better, they would think it was Underf—

"Hey, Sans, you there?" Papyrus called up the stairs as he opened the door.

"Go away, Papyrus! I…need to sort out my COMPLICATED FEELINGS!"

"Just thought I'd tell you the human was here. We're having spaghetti. Wanna come down?"

A lock clicked from upstairs, and a blanket-wrapped Sans peeked down the stairs.

"H-human Frisk!" He coughed, and blushed blue. "I…I! I! I! I-I!"

Frisk rolled their eyes at Sans's blatant misunderstanding of the Pronoun Game (+1 Sin).
"I…need to get back to making more puzzles for you! Hahah! We shall meet again, human!" With a dramatic point, the door to his room slammed shut once more.

"Well…that was something."

"Yeah, he's pretty cool even when he's in one of his moods." Papyrus walked into the kitchen, pulling out a pot. "Now. I'm not gonna be around much longer for…reasons, so I'm just gonna get the infodump out of the way now. You cool with that?"

"Uhhhh…okay, I guess?"

"Great, I hate beating around the bush." He put noodles and a pan of sauce on to boil. "First: if you see a little cat-thing around here, it's not a fairy. It's a dog with cat ears. Look closer, you blind idiot."

Frisk nodded sagely at what was clearly the producer's apology for a misunderstanding in an earlier episode due to both the absence of the Fact-Checking Committee and the Having-Eyes Committee.

"Also, don't trust it. It tried to kill you. My brother seems to like it, though, so it'll probably be important later." He turned down the heat; the meal was almost ready. "Next, I'm friends with that lady who tried to kill you in Chapter 1. She made me promise to kill you, but my brother said not to. So…what I'm saying is…" He handed Frisk a plate stacked high with steaming noodles and sauce. "If it weren't for him…I'd just give you crappy over-boiled noodles."

Frisk nodded again, not quite sure they understood what any of this had to do with spaghetti.

"I'm just kidding, buddy." He made himself a plate and sat down. "So…you think this is a little like a date, or what?"

Frisk nearly spit a fountain of marinara, which is actually kinda gross.

"Wh-why are you asking? I'm like not even twelve and what is—"

"Ah, c'mon, it's pretty clear my brother has a crush…or something? …On you." He twirled his fork in his spaghetti. "So let's practice, for when he asks you out. Besides, I'm sure at least someone out there was expecting this."

"Uhhhh….okay."

"Great." Papyrus closed his eyes. Suddenly, an effusive grin overtook his face, and he brought his shoulders inward and did a cute anime-girl double fist-pump.

"Human Frisk! It has come to my attention that we share many similar interests! Interests like…puzzles! And solving them! And being puzzle geniuses! So…that means we should date, right?!"

Frisk looked up at the tall skeleton, his complete lack of chill, and the shojo bubbles gathering around his head.

"You're scaring me."

"Fear is not welcome in my home environment!" He slammed a book on the table. "It says in my dating guide that the first step after asking you out is to wear nice clothing!" He threw off his hoodie, revealing a red-themed replica of his brother's outfit. "My brother will probably be wearing something like this, since he always dresses his best!"

"Can I go home? Going home sounds like a good idea right now. Where'd you say that Monster King was?"

"You're an entitled RPG protag! Tu casa es mi casa; toma mi comida!" He pulled a hamburger from nowhere and slammed that, too, on the table. "Do you know what this is?"

"It's a burger. Probably."

"Yes, indeed, it is a burger! But not just any burger! Remember it well, for it is my brother's favorite!" He pulled out two more burgers, shuffling them all faster than Frisk's eyes could track. "Now, which one was it?"

Frisk examined their options. On the left was a burger made of sequins and glitter; not really very appetizing, but maybe it was an important part of monster culture and they were in fact being very insensitive. In the middle was a completely average burger made of meat, lettuce, tomato, and sexy buns. On the right was…something that sort of looked like shoelaces and a wad of gum wedged between two pieces of stale bread left over from craft services.

"…Imma go with the one in the middle."

"WOWIE!" Papyrus's eyes bulged out, and he cupped his face in his hands. "That's it! You must love me so much to remember something like that!"

"Uh, yeah, that's exactly it. Really. 100%."

"All right then! This is the final test!" Papyrus's eyes narrowed, and he leaned in.

"…What do you think of my brother?"

"Oh, him? He's an idiot."

The last vestiges of Sans melted off of Papyrus's face. He pulled his hoodie back on, and grinned.

"Still hiding your feelings, huh? Don't worry, it'll go okay."

"Mm-hm. Heeey, I think I'll go visit him now. Sound good?"

He flashed a thumbs-up. "You go, kid."

Indeed, Frisk did go: out the door, into the night, and away from these two idiots (for real this time, they hoped).

Somewhere, a very confused Sans hugged a pillow.

"Pillow-chan? Can I talk to you like you're that human?"

He assumed Pillow-chan had nodded, and continued.

"I need to talk to you about…something I still can't quite understand…hm? Meet you at the Waterfall Sentry Station? That's it! You always have the best ideas!"

He kissed Pillow-chan (platonically) and ran out the door.

Notes/Manizu Chatter:

It seems like the last chapter led a lot of people to Everyday Life with Skelebros, so, awesome! Glad my garbage/boredom led you to my actual good stuff!

I've gotten back into what I originally intended to write for this (different personalities playing the same roles, instead of different characters as the same personalities playing the same roles), so…it looks like we're going to be seeing more of Shouty Sans than I intended. Uh, whoops…

Sarcastic Frisk is best Frisk. I'm beyond all hope of making them cute ever again.