Disclaimer: The GW boys do NOT belong to me, and I am making no monetary profit on this.

Note the first: Many, many thanks to KS and Wolfje, for the red and green comments respectively, on the many, many drafts of this one, and thanks also to everyone who has been kind enough to review.

Note the second: the flashback at the start of this chapter takes places a few months after the one in 68/69.

Benefits of Breathing

Just breathe.

It sounded so easy, to concentrate on the passage of breath, to visualise it going in through the nose, inflating the lungs, and then exhaling. Most of the time, actually, Quatre found it therapeutic. Today was different though; he had far too much on his mind to care about the ebb and flow of breath.

He was trying to focus, he really was; but so much of his mind was occupied with the plans for dinner, and hoping Trowa's 'plane would land on time, and wondering how he'd like the periwinkle blue Quatre had painted their bathroom as a surprise. Hopefully, he would also like the matching blue flecks in his lover's hair, that he still hadn't managed to wash out.

It was Trowa who'd found their little apartment, ten minutes walk from the hospital. It had a balcony overlooking the park and six rooms which would have fit comfortably into their bedroom on L4. For Quatre, it was like a fantasy come true.

Their first real home. Granted, they'd shared safe-houses, and that squalid little caravan at the circus, but they'd chosen this one together, and it was safe, and it stayed in one place all the time. They had furniture they'd chosen together, and bookshelves that Trowa had made, and a deliciously squishy leather couch and a real fireplace. It was perfect.

Somewhere, in between spending time with Duo, and working for WEI, they'd managed to establish their own routines and rituals over the past four months. Taking turns to get up early to go for fresh bread and the newspapers; walking in the park after hospital visiting hours were finished, or lazing away the occasional morning in bed.

He'd even learned to cook. After the first couple of weeks, he'd decided that his lack of culinary skills had been a standing joke for too long. It wasn't his fault that no one had ever taught him to cook, and his first few attempts had been less than stellar.

Now they had a proper kitchen with modern appliances, a far cry from the rickety two-ring stove in the trailer that had never worked properly, and there were some wonderful stores within walking distance, as well as an organic market at the weekends. Maybe tomorrow they could go there for lunch and then…

'Winner!' Wufei's voice broke into Quatre's happy little reverie and shattered it into tiny gleaming fragments. 'Close your eyes! You have to focus.'

'My back hurts! I've been sitting like this for nearly two hours.'

'Then you are holding yourself incorrectly. I've shown you the proper way to sit. It's hardly my fault if you are unable to do so. I could hold that position for hours without complaining before I could walk properly.'

Wufei wasn't a particularly good teacher. He was impatient, disliked having to explain things more than once, and set impossibly high standards. He also didn't believe in praise or encouragement, as Quatre was supposedly doing this for his own benefit, rather that his teacher's approval. He didn't have a problem with doling out criticism though.

'I can't really concentrate right now. Trowa's 'plane lands in exactly thirty-nine minutes.'

Wufei rolled his eyes. 'He's only been gone for two days.'

'Two full days, two full nights, most of today. That's a long time if you add it all up.'

He missed Trowa terribly; they'd talked constantly but it wasn't the same as having Trowa there all the time. But one of them had had to go to Amsterdam to oversee security for the new WEI offices, and Trowa was more experienced. It was still hard being apart, though. He had a long list of things he wanted to tell Trowa in person; from Duo's latest medical report - positive - and the new WEI AGM report, to silly little domestic things. He'd made his first successful omelette, he'd decorated the bathroom walls - and the floor and himself in the progress - and he'd bought some new trailing plants for their balcony.

Of course, they probably wouldn't get around to talking for a while.

'Please, Wufei. Can't we stop? I still have to finish dinner and I won't be able to concentrate now.'

'The whole purpose of meditation is to learn focus and concentration.' Wufei uncurled from the lotus position anyway, stacking the mats neatly against the wall.

'Watch this,' Quatre stretched out both arms, and launched himself into a neat back-flip. 'Trowa taught me, just before he left. Aren't I clever?' Quatre asked proudly, executing a perfect landing.

'You are quite wonderful, yes.' Wufei's tone was dry enough to gather dust.

Quatre just grinned. 'It's not really that good. Not compared to the stuff Tro can do. He's amazingly flexible.'

The Chinese man muttered something Quatre couldn't quite make out. Probably just as well. 'Really, Quatre. Cooking, music, yoga, meditation and now acrobatics. Have you ever heard the expression 'Jack of all trades, master of none'?'

'I have, yes.' The blond's tone was quite unruffled. He'd learned over the past few months that Wufei rarely meant to be rude or brusque; he just didn't have very good social skills. Or any social skills at all. 'But I have an actual job. Everything else is just a hobby, for fun. Not the meditation, obviously. That's something I do take seriously. You know, I do appreciate all the help you've given me.'

He meant it. Ever since he was a little boy, he'd been unconsciously trying to erect barriers around his consciousness, to block out the battering maelstrom of other people's emotions. Wufei had taught him how to control that ability, how to focus and centre himself. He sometimes felt the other man had saved his sanity.

Wufei was never comfortable with thanks but he pressed on anyway. 'Honestly, you've no idea how much it's helped. I was an utter wreck after Duo's accident, and poor Trowa had to put up with me, as well as everything else that was going on.' His friend's face, as he stretched sore muscles was a study in awkwardness, and Quatre took pity on him, changing the subject.

'When are you going to show me the cool stuff?' He took the folded mats from Wufei and stacked them in the closet, before heading for the kitchen.

'Meditation exercises are not 'cool'' Wufei pronounced it disdainfully.

'Yes, they are! Duo said you could control your body when you were in that cell on the Lunar base! And I've been reading about masters who can control their body temperatures and pain and everything.'

'Those disciplines take years of dedicated study and commitment to master. I've been teaching you for less than four months, and you still have difficulty in maintaining the correct posture.'

'Oh, come on. I'm your star pupil, aren't I?'

'My only pupil.' Wufei said repressively, but there was a very faint smile lurking around the corners of his mouth, even if it didn't dare to blossom fully.

'Then I'm automatically the best!'

Wufei said nothing, which was praise in itself. He'd never actually said so, but Quatre knew that he was impressed by what the blond had managed to achieve in such a short time. Of course, it helped that Quatre had been using breathing exercises for years to control his empathy, and that he'd taken up yoga shortly after the war. He'd never dared to tell Wufei that he'd begun yoga classes to try to emulate his boyfriend's flexibility. 'What else am I going to do? Just spend the rest of my life breathing?'

'That would be advisable, yes,' Wufei spoke with a completely straight face and Quatre cracked up. It was still something of a surprise, that there was a sense of humour hidden under all that rigidity and strict codes of honour. 'Very well. If you are truly prepared to work at it, I will help you. Perhaps next time I am here.' He glanced at his watch. 'It's late, Quatre. I should be leaving soon.'

'But you're staying for dinner, aren't you? I've made plenty. Please. I promise, we'll behave ourselves.' He gave Wufei his most appealing smile. 'You may not believe this, but we honestly are capable of keeping our hands off each other.'

'It isn't that,' Wufei protested. 'I have an early flight in the morning and I still have to pack.'

'Nonsense!' Quatre said briskly. 'Packing only takes ten seconds. And you still have to eat.'

'Barton's been away for all those countless hours you were talking about. You don't want me here tonight.'

'Don't be silly. Of course, we do! Besides, you can't spend your last night here all alone.' He turned the smile up a notch from pleading to imploring. 'Please stay. After all, you helped me to make the curry paste when you got here. You deserve to try the final result. I promise, I haven't poisoned anyone in weeks. Please?'

Wufei sighed, apparently accepting defeat as he carried three plates to the table. 'Are you this bossy with Barton?'

'Oh, I'm far worse.' Quatre spun around from the stove to laugh at him. 'I don't suppose you know when you'll be back from your mission?' He'd already learned not to ask where his friend was being sent; Preventer agents weren't allowed to divulge that sort of information. He wondered how Duo had ever managed, watching Heero accept missions, and being the one to stay behind.

Wufei shook his head as Quatre slid a tray of nan breads into the oven. 'I really don't know. I'm sorry.'

'It' s not your fault. How are things going with work anyway?'

'You know I can't talk about that, Quatre.'

'That's not what I meant.' Quatre tasted a spoonful of curry sauce. 'Oh, this is rather good. Maybe just a little more curry powder? Trowa won't believe I made it! I just wondered if you're happy working at Preventers.'

'Happy?' Wufei spoke the word as if it were an alien concept. 'I am doing a job for which I'm suited, which helps to maintain the peace. Isn't that more important than my personal pleasure?'

'Job satisfaction is good, yes. But surely people are entitled to some happiness as well? Otherwise life would be rather dull, don't you think?'

Wufei shrugged. 'I am hardly qualified to do anything else, am I?'

'Of course you are! I'd offer you a job with WEI in a second. And I thought that He -' Quatre bit his lip; don't talk about Heero - 'that someone mentioned you wanted to attend university?'

'Perhaps one day.' Even without any empathy, Quatre could feel the sorrow drifting about him. He was like Heero - no, don't think about Heero - in so many ways, believing he needed to atone for the things he'd done. Like Quatre himself, come to that. Like all of them. 'Is happiness an entitlement? Are you happy?'

'At the moment, very much so.' It was true. He had a kitchen that was fragrant with spices and steam, and Trowa's 'plane was due to land in five minutes, and Duo's doctors were pleased with his progress.

Some of them were saying it was almost miraculous, and they were talking about inducing him out of the coma in a few weeks' time. The neuro-psychologist today had run a battery of tests, and detected no signs of brain damage, now that the swelling had finally gone down. The medical team had tried to warn him that there could still be problems ahead; they still didn't know exactly how much damage had been done to the spinal cord, but Quatre refused to let them dampen his mood. Everything would be fine; he could afford for Duo to have the best medical care in the universe. He would fund research and set up his own facility if necessary.

'I meant, are you happy running WEI?' The dark eyes were challenging.

'Sometimes,' Quatre said, and proffered a spoonful of sauce. 'Try this.'

'I thought you said it wasn't spicy! I can feel the steam coming out of my ears.'

'Oh dear.' Quatre stuck a finger in the pot and sucked it clean. 'It is rather, isn't it? I can put in some more coconut milk, maybe. That should help, and we've got some natural yoghurt. It's just that Tro likes very spicy food. Can you get me the can opener, please? It's in the drawer beside you. Am I happy running WEI?' he mused, pouring the can's contents into the bubbling pot.

'It's not something I've thought about really. It's something I have to do. I like parts of it. I like knowing that a prosperous company will have benefits for the whole colony. I love doing business on Earth, or any of the other colonies actually. On L4, every time I suggest something new, my sisters and all my fathers' executives try to block it. If it's new, it's automatically wrong.'

'Your ideas seem to be working, however,' Wufei noted. ' I liked your idea of allowing WEI employees to buy shares at a discounted rates.'

'My sisters hated that one! But it makes sense to me. If people work hard for a company, they should be able to benefit. Anyway, I'll be eighteen in a few months. Then I'll have full control of WEI. I won't have to spend hours persuading the Board that change isn't necessarily evil.'

'What will you do then?' Wufei stepped around him to turn on the kettle. 'Move to Earth permanently and transfer WEI headquarters here?'

'I don't know yet. Trowa and I have been talking about it. We both love living on Earth, it means Tro can see Cathy more often, and we have so much more freedom than on L4.'

It was nothing more than the truth. On Earth, they could pretty much do as they pleased. Live together openly; go running in the park at sunrise, or hold hands in a café downtown. They'd even been to a nightclub together, and after a few sips of Trowa's beer, he'd let Tro pull him on to the dance floor. All things that would have been unthinkable on L4.

Not that their relationship went exactly unnoticed. Two former Gundam Pilots, one of them the CEO of a major corporation, were news, and there had been articles and photos in several magazines and newspapers. They were always ones that were banned on his home colony, though, so Quatre didn't care all that much.

Ironically, they probably had Heero to thank, in part, for their relative anonymity. He'd resigned from Preventers two months previously, in a blaze of gleaming medals and glory. None of his former friends had attended the ceremony, a fact that might have attracted attention if Relena hadn't stolen the show, reaching up to give Heero a kiss as she presented him with a special medal from Sanque. It had been a simple peck on the cheek, but the world's media had gone mad.

He had officially resigned to pursue his studies, but he was still in Sanque, living at the Palace and squiring Relena to her various public appearances. There was feverish speculation about their relationship, and the Princess's romance had totally eclipsed any public interest in the rest of them.

So much for Trowa's defence of Heero! Quatre had been right not to give in on that one. If Heero had truly cared about Duo, had truly regretted what he'd done, he certainly wouldn't be plastered over every newsstand in the universe with Relena. He might even have made more of an effort to see his former lover, instead of apparently forgetting he existed.

Duo was better off without him. They all were.

It also helped that Relena's brother had finally been released from prison, and was supposedly 'recovering' in some remote area of Sanque. They were reported sightings of the tall prince every other day, which meant even more columns of newsprint devoted to the Peacecraft family.

Quatre handed Wufei a selection of herbal teas, wrenching his mind away from Heero. Traitor.

'I don't know…L4 is home, I suppose. I'd like to be there if my sisters ever needed me for anything. And I don't want WEI to be just another global corporation with subsidiaries on the colonies. We'll probably spend a couple of years on L4, and then make a long term plan. We have to see what' s happening with Duo as well. The doctors say it will take time before he can go back to space, so we can't just bring him back with us. I'm not sure if he'd even like living on L4, to be honest. Oh, excuse me, please.'

He headed back into the living room to answer the ringing 'phone, putting down the receiver almost at once, but not in time to stop a woman's shrill voice, shrieking almost hysterically.

'I'm sorry about that,' he apologised, returning and pouring tea into two cups. 'It's my sister, Kimia. She and my other sisters take turns to call me and tell me what a degenerate I am. I'm just glad she rang before Trowa got back; it makes him so furious.'

'And you don't mind?'

Quatre shrugged. 'It's not exactly pleasant, no. They're my family, after all. But I don't think there's anything wrong with loving someone. And there's nothing more important in my life than Trowa. If it means I have to put up with my sisters telling me I'm an unnatural pervert, then so be it.'

Wufei's indrawn hiss of breath surprised them both. 'They actually say those things to their own brother?'

'Oh, they've said far worse than that. I thought it was unacceptable to be gay on L5 too?'

'It was … discouraged,' Wufei said carefully. 'We were brought up to believe that family was the most important thing in life, that a person's first responsibility was to ensure the old bloodlines survived. Homosexuality was ..not exactly the best way to achieve that.'

'I can see that,' Quatre handed him a cup of tea, and carefully measured out three portions of rice. 'But surely there must have been some gay people around when you were growing up?'

Wufei shrugged, taking a sip of his tea. 'I suppose there were. But my clan was very traditional, even by the standards of L5, very conservative. We lived in a remote area, and there was little contact with the rest of the colony. Young people were married at fourteen, and thrust into bed together. Homosexuals were never mentioned, except as the subject of smutty jokes; gay men were all supposed to be weak and effeminate.'

'Well, you know that much isn't true,' Quatre said calmly, and then laughed. 'Not that I'm exactly a model of manliness right now, fussing over dinner and counting the seconds before my boyfriend comes home.'

'I think Barton is ...very fortunate to have found you.' Wufei swallowed another mouthful of tea, and sighed, staring into the depths of his cup as if the answers might appear there. 'I don't know, Quatre. There probably were other gay people in my clan, but either they were very discreet, or I simply chose not to notice. I was so wrapped up in myself and my studies, I paid very little attention to anyone else.' He heaved another deep sigh.

'I'm not sure if Earth is as…tolerant as you believe. Sanque, perhaps, but I have heard comments, jokes, at Preventer HQ. You probably don't know what I'm talking about.'

'You think so? I spent over two months living with Trowa at the circus, don't forget. I could write a book on the subject. Surely there are anti-discrimination laws?'

'In theory.' Wufei stood and added more boiling water to his cup. 'Really, it amounts to no more than a paragraph in the orientation handbook.'

'Are there any other gay agents?' Quatre chose his words carefully, not sure if Wufei's earlier 'other' comment had been intentional, or simply a slip of the tongue. Of course, he'd known Wufei was gay since they'd first met, but Wufei had never admitted it. Over the past couple of months, as they'd slowly become friends, Wufei had dropped hints, but he'd never actually said it.

Trowa wouldn't be too happy if he walked in on the two of them having a fencing match.

The Chinese man let it pass, though, simply offering a shrug in return. 'Perhaps there are. Most people seem content to fit in and go along with their peers though.'

'Not you, though,' Quatre said softly. Despite what Wufei seemed to believe, he knew that his friend's sexual orientation was probably the least of his problems at work. There were so many other reasons; he was too young, a former terrorist, a Colonial working for an Earth-based organisation, and that was even omitting his - less than winning personality.

'Wufei, you don't have to stay there, you know. You do have other options. And Trowa and I will do anything we can do help. It's the least we can do, after all you've done for me. You shouldn't stay in a job that makes you miserable, and it's not just you. I remember Heero talking about how hard it was for other agents to accept him and…are you all right?'

One of his delicate porcelain cups had plummeted onto the kitchen tiles and shattered.

'I'm so sorry. It just slipped,' Wufei gasped.

'It doesn't matter. You didn't cut yourself, did you?' On the floor, gathering up the shards of china, Quatre gazed up at him, trying to fathom why a broken cup could account for his friend's sudden pallor. His friend looked like he'd seen a ghost. He must be finding work more difficult than even Quatre had guessed.

'No. I'm fine. Quatre, I owe you an apology.'

'Not at all. We have plenty of cups and it was an accident.'

'Not that, Quatre.' One of Wufei's fingers reached up to stroke the bridge of his nose, something he only did when he felt nervous or uncomfortable, but his gaze held Quatre's steadily. 'After the war, I said things to you, that were untrue and I regret them deeply. You are one of the strongest, most honourable people whom I have even met.'

'It's all right.' Quatre slid one hand over the table to squeeze Wufei's lightly. 'Really.'

'It was a - difficult period for me,' Wufei said, plainly determined to wallow in guilt and recriminations. Well, Quatre knew all about that. 'All the things that had been sustaining me during the war; the need for vengeance, to defeat Treize, they were all gone. At first, I thought we would all join Preventers, that I would still have that - that comradeship, that I had come to value. It was difficult,' he echoed. 'I was coming to terms with…certain aspects of myself, and finding myself lacking. You and Maxwell - Duo - were only trying to be friendly and I behaved badly toward both of you.'

'I know it's difficult,' Quatre said softly, standing up and stirring his sauce, giving himself a moment to think about what to say next. Wufei had never opened up like this to him before, perhaps never to anyone. If he said the wrong thing, if he pushed too far, the Chinese man would probably run, or else attack Quatre for the insult to his precious honour. On the other hand, he had brought up the topic, however obliquely, which argued that he wanted to discuss it.

He rummaged in the fridge for a small bowl of olives, and sat back down. 'Believe me, if anyone knows it's me. Homosexuality was seen as the ultimate sin on L4. I'm not quite sure why; there are so many worse things. I found out about myself when I was just a child, from reading the letter from a therapist my father had sent me too. His report claimed I showed signs of latent homosexuality. I didn't even know what it meant, then; I had to look it up. Some weeks before my friend Nasir had been raped and I felt him die.'

'He…died from being raped?'

Quatre's mouth twisted. 'In a way, yes. He killed himself because of the shame. I can still remember our servants, people who'd known Nasir since he was a boy, whispering that it was probably for the best. And that if he'd been raped, he must have wanted it, must have brought it on himself somehow.

'My father thought I was having a seizure; I was in hospital for days. I'd never felt anyone die before. After I got home, I went to see that therapist, and he told my father that I was gay, along with all the many other things that were wrong with me.'

'How old were you?' Wufei whispered, aghast.

'Ten, perhaps eleven. That was the first time I ever knew anything about gay sex, Wufei. When a fifteen year old boy I'd considered my friend had those things happen to him. It was hardly an ideal introduction, was it?'

'So…how did you…you know?'

'Well, I met Trowa,' Quatre told him, smiling at the memory. It would always be the defining moment in his life; Trowa walking out of Heavyarms to meet him.

'It was that simple?' Wufei sounded profoundly sceptical.

'I don't think love is ever simple, exactly. Won't you have another olive? But what I feel for him, I don't think there can be anything wrong with caring so much for another person, with wanting their happiness.'

Wufei opened his mouth to speak, at the exact moment that Quatre's 'phone rang. 'I'm sorry!' he glanced at the number and headed for the bedroom. 'It's Trowa; he said he'd call when he got to the airport. I'll just be a minute.'

'Trowa!' Quatre sang happily. 'It's so wonderful to hear your voice!' In fact, they'd spoken a couple of hours previously, but then Trowa had still been on his flight and now they were in the same country, the same city. 'When will you be home?'

'I'm just leaving the airport. Should take about thirty minutes, depending on traffic. Do you want me to pick up something on the way, or would you rather go out somewhere for dinner?'

'Neither, actually. I've cooked for us.'

Trowa never missed a beat. 'So, do you want me to pick up something on the way, or would you rather go out somewhere?'

'You, naturally, may do as you choose,' Quatre informed him with immense dignity, 'but Wufei and I have cooked a wonderful Thai green curry, which we are planning to eat.'

'Wufei and you?' Trowa sounded amused. 'You're starting to domesticate him a little, then?'

'I'll tell you later,' Quatre shot an uncertain look at the bedroom door. 'He came home with me after we'd been to the hospital. I've asked him to stay and eat with us. You don't mind, do you?'

Trowa chuckled. 'So long as he doesn't object to me ravishing you on the dinner table!'

'Trowa!'

'Yes, Quatre, my love? I'll try to behave myself but it has been a couple of days, and my willpower may not be up it.'

'I have every faith in you being ... up for it,' Quatre teased back. 'He won't stay long, Tro; he has an early flight tomorrow. And I expect to be ravished as soon as he's gone through the door.'

'Always so bossy, angel, aren't you?' Trowa's sigh had a smile woven into it.

'Don't call me that,' Quatre complained for the millionth time. 'It's so inappropriate.'

'No, it's not. You look like an angel, and you certainly fuck like one.'

'Trowa Barton!'

'That's me.' His voice dropped several octaves, taking on that husky, ever-so-slightly menacing tone that Quatre associated with sex. 'I bought you a present in Amsterdam.'

'Really?' Quatre squeaked, charmed. 'What is it?'

'A little surprise. You'll like it. I'll show you after Wufei goes home. We don't want to shock him, do we?'

'Tell me now, please,' Quatre begged. He adored presents. Everyone assumed he was a spoilt rich kid, and it was mostly true. He'd grown up in luxury after all; he'd never had to do the things his friends had had to do to survive. He'd never really been given presents though. The Winners hadn't celebrated Christmas, and his birthday was the anniversary of his mother's death, so it had never been an enjoyable day. 'Pretty please. You wouldn't make me beg, Tro, would you?'

'I have every intention of making you beg, kitten. When I've got you naked and tied to the bed, and when you can't even remember your own name, let alone mine…'

Quatre gasped, feeling the sudden surge of lust from half way across the city. He'd been able to read Trowa from the first moment they'd met, even before Zero had messed up his control, and that had never changed. It had always been the one good thing about his gift; his ability to feel Trowa's love for him. I

'Felt that, did you?' Trowa chuckled. 'I hope you enjoyed it, because you'll be getting the live show in a couple of hours.'

Quatre hung up, trying to calm down a little. Oh, Allah! One of these days, Trowa was going to make him come just by thinking about him. Duo would have made a crack about long distance orgasms.

He missed Duo, his best friend, so very much. OK, don't think about Duo. Or Trowa, for that matter. Not while Wufei was still in the kitchen, needing someone to confide in. He had to be calm and tactful and supportive, not obsessing over his own lover, and the things his lover would do to him later…

Just breathe, Winner. Long, deep breaths. Wufei would be furious if he knew his special meditation techniques were being subverted in this way.

Oh dear. Techniques…no. He wasn't going to think about techniques, not about the things Trowa could do with his tongue and fingers and all the rest of him, all those things that would be illegal on L4 if people even suspected they existed.

'I'm sorry,' he apologised politely as he walked back into the kitchen. 'Trowa should be home in about thirty minutes.' Oh dear. He was trying to be calm and composed, but he could see his goofy, giddy grin in the polished surface of the refrigerator. 'He's got a surprise for me.'

Oops, as Duo would have said. That had just slipped out. Still, he thought, opening the refrigerator door hiding his face and his blushes inside, Wufei would probably think it was Dutch chocolate, or a cultural souvenir.

'What shall we have for dessert? I got some of those dark chocolate éclairs Trowa likes at the market yesterday, and I think we still have some ice-cream.' He turned around, holding the box of pastries, and saw Wufei's face. 'What's the matter? Did I say something wrong?'

Wufei shook his head. 'No. No, of course not. It's just - you and Barton, the way you are always doing little things for each other. I - envy you both.'

'It's just something couples do, I think.' Quatre tried to keep his tone neutral as he sat back down.

'I wouldn't know,' Wufei told him bleakly. 'It isn't just about sex, is it? You and Trowa? You really…care about him?'

Quatre immediately choked on an olive, and needed to have his back thumped. It was not the sort of question he'd ever imagined Wufei would ask.

Duo had asked the same question once, when they'd been fifteen year olds together, each desperately in love and terrified and exhilarated and so terribly confused, who had told each other everything.

'Of course not. It's about, well, everything. It always has been. I love him.'

'Does it hurt?'

Still reeling from the earlier question, Quatre was slow on the uptake. 'What? The empathy?'

'No!' Wufei's face was scarlet. 'Nothing. It doesn't matter.'

Oh. Duo had asked him that too, once.

'No, it doesn't hurt,' Quatre said gently. 'Sex is the fun part. Well, it is after the first few times, anyway,' he amended. It was a conversation they'd skirted around several times, but Wufei had never actually said it, not straight out. And he remembered all too vividly being a fifteen year old virgin, with only the fuzziest notion of what sex between two men would involve. 'It's scary, isn't it? I remember Duo and I going into an - an adult shop during the war, and I practically hyperventilated. It's wonderful, though, with the right person; someone you love and trust. Would you like to find someone?'

'I don't know. I don't exactly have a great deal to offer a potential partner, do I?'

Quatre grinned; he just couldn't help it. 'How do you want me to answer that? If I start listing all your many good points, you'll either try to kill me, or think I'm making it up. I think you have a tremendous amount to offer anyone. You are kind, brave, loyal, honourable, incredibly attractive…'

'Winner!'

'What?' Quatre slanted him his most innocent look; the one even Trowa still fell for sometimes. 'Haven't you ever taken a long look at yourself in a mirror?'

'Of course not! I'm not a woman!'

'Well, mirrors aren't exactly sexist,' Quatre murmured, wondering if Wufei could ever be persuaded to let his hair down. Literally and every other way. 'Seriously, if you went out to a club with us some night, I can guarantee there'd be a stampede to dance with you.'

'I don't dance.' He was obviously trying to sound indignant and dignified, but it came out as more forlorn. 'I can't do relationships, Quat. I can't. I tried once and it was utterly disastrous. Not everyone can have your sort of fairytale romance.'

'Why not? I'm sure there's a handsome prince out there for you somewhere.' Quatre held his breath for a moment; it was the first time he'd ever actually said it so bluntly, but Wufei just hung his head, gazing at the table top.

'You can tell me anything, you know. I wouldn't tell anyone, not even Tro. Sometimes it helps just to talk about things.'

Wufei snorted. 'Not even you can help what's wrong. You don't know anything about it.'

'Wufei…' he took a deep breath. Oh, Allah. Not that, please. Not Wufei as well. 'Nobody ever hurt you, did they?'

Thank all the Gods in creation, he just shook his head, looking utterly affronted at the question. 'Certainly not! I would never allow anyone to destroy my honour in that fashion. I would die first!'

'Of course. I'm sorry,' Quatre said solemnly. He was itching to know about the 'disastrous relationship' but Wufei had apparently clammed up, jumping to his feet to check the pots on the stove.

Drat. It had to have been Treize, though. Wufei's emotions had always been next to impossible to read; quick flashes of anger or frustration or loneliness and the very occasional flicker of physical attraction towards his fellow pilots, Duo in particular.

Treize though; oh, that was different. Quatre didn't know if Wufei had ever fully acknowledged what the other man had meant for him. Quatre had never met the OZ leader, but he'd seen pictures and even Heero had spoken about his charisma. It made perfect sense, really, for Wufei to fall for someone so powerful, the very antithesis of gay men being weak in some way. And he'd been the one to kill Treize.

It was giving him the first tiny germ of an idea though. Duo and Wufei.. they'd both lost someone they'd cared for, Duo was going to need somewhere to stay on Earth, and Wufei definitely needed a friend, at the very least. It might just work. Of course, Trowa would say he was meddling as usual, but he was only trying to help. That wasn't the same.

Hmmm.

He gave Wufei one of his most charming, irresistible smiles. 'You know, you can't spend the rest of your life all alone because of one painful experience. Maybe you just need to find a close friend first, and see what develops?'

Wufei shrugged moodily. Ah. Subject closed for the present, then.

Quatre smiled at him. 'You know, it's a lovely evening. Shall we eat on the balcony? Trowa's been stuck inside all day.'

Trowa.

Quatre stood up hurriedly, pulling his t-shirt loose over his jeans.

Oh dear. Stop thinking about Trowa.

Trowa….

He had to call Trowa.

He gently lowered the comatose Doctor Marshall onto the bed. The poor woman hadn't put up any resistance, bending over him and crumpling gently to the floor as he'd found that pressure point in her neck. She'd have a headache when she came to, but she wasn't badly injured. She would probably need a bodyguard to protect her from Une, though. Quatre winced a little as he put more weight on his injured ankle. He'd jarred it, pulling it free of the restraint, and it had hurt terribly.

Quatre took a deep breath, holding it, trying to focus on the source of the pain and just accept it, the way Wufei had taught him. It wasn't easy.

Come on, Winner. You don't have time for this.

He'd jammed the lock to his door, fortunately a sturdy fire door, but it wouldn't take them long to open it. Une was probably trying to rip it open with her bare hands, or using some poor subordinate as a battering ram, if the sounds outside were anything to go by. Oh, she was going to be furious.

She'd had Quatre Winner; injured, half out of his mind on medication and suffering from concussion, quite literally in her power, and he'd still managed to evade her. And, to add insult to injury, he'd stolen her 'phone.

Duo would adore that bit.

There was the click of an answer machine, and then 'Barton.'

One word, tersely spoken, but Quatre's heart leaped. He'd never really expected Tro to answer; he always screened his calls and he probably wouldn't pick up for Commander Une anyway.

'It's me,' he said softly, and held his breath.

Please, Trowa. Please. Answer the 'phone.

Nothing.

'I'm sorry,' Quatre said finally. 'I'm so sorry, Trowa.'

There was nothing else he could say really. And apologies never changed anything.

Quatre ended the call and dialled Duo's number.

'Hey! This is Duo Maxwell. I can't pick up right now - shut up, Zechs, will you? I'm trying to record a message - yeah, sorry, if you leave your name I'll call you back. Bye.'

'Duo. It's Quat. Listen to me; this is important. I need you to take Wufei and Zechs and get back to Earth. It's urgent. Please, just trust me on this. I'm so sorry about everything. Please, Duo. Just do it. And look after Trowa for me. I'm sorry.'

He dialled a third time and this call was actually answered.

'Rashid? It's Quatre. I need your help…'