Disclaimer: I don't own Steven Universe. Steven Universe is owned by Rebecca Sugar.

Present

"Thoughts"

Author's Note

I swiveled my seat around as I heard the doors open, exactly at the time I ordered for her to appear. As hard as I tried to hide it, I couldn't help but smile as Rose walked to my throne, a gesture she gladly returned. She stopped a few feet in front of me and bowed.

"Commander Yellow Diamond."

I glanced around the room to make sure the Peridots I had assigned to fix the console had left. They had. I began to laugh.

"C'mon Rose, you don't need to be formal when it's just the two of us." I stood up from my throne and walked to her, offering my hand. She accepted the gesture and pulled herself off the floor. But not quite before grabbing me in a hug.

"I know, but still, you are royalty... especially to me," she whispered in my ear. I put my arms around her in return, resting my head on her shoulder. We both seemed to pause at that moment: I could tell she didn't want to end the embrace as much as I did.

But we had work to do.

"C'mon Rose, let's go," I said as I pushed myself out of her arms, earning a sheepish smile from her as she nodded. I turned around and walked to my command console, her footsteps echoing close behind. With two claps of my hands, I summoned the screen in front of me.

"Please pull up the briefing document prepared for Quartz, Rose."

"Certainly," replied the computerized voice as a loading bar appeared. "Now accessing confidential mission details."

"I've been given orders by the Council to scout for any planets in what we've called the 'Milky Way Galaxy' for sustainable organic life," I said as I turned to face Rose. "I gave them the list of everything I found. Or, more specifically, a single word. There was only one."

"Let's see... Earth, is it called?" said Rose. Her eyes scanned up and down the page, absorbing line after line of text as she grasped the enormity of what lay ahead of her. "Why would they want this planet in particular?

"They said something about it being an excellent breeding ground for new gems. In any event, we're not taking military action... yet. The mission is to scout the planet from the ground, to get in close."

"I assume that's my job?"

"Correct. You and a small team will be sent to Earth to observe. Report any and all sentient species, and keep a sharp eye out for any potential breeding sites. The Diamonds like to call them Kindergartens." I waved my hand to dissipate the screen. I then clapped twice, a small space pod rising from the ground in front of me. "You'll depart immediately."

"How long will I be gone?" she asked as she walked to the door. It slid open.

"A full year, from today onward." I looked around the room, as if expecting an intruder. I spoke in a hushed whisper. "And don't worry. It'll be over before you know it. I promise."

"I know that, but it's just... I'll miss you, Yellow." The door to the pod slid shut, revealing only her face through the window. I walked up and peered inside.

"I'll miss you too..."

"Rose, are you sure this is correct?"

"As sure as I'll ever be. There are literally thousands of good sites to set up Kindergartens on this planet. I've sent you the complete list."

As I looked over the files Rose beamed to my console from Earth, my eyes gaped open wide at the stream of data. I had asked her to do two relatively simple tasks, but she had gone above and beyond; she had literally found thousands of areas meeting the criteria the Board of Diamonds established, with 100% verification on each one.

There was more than just that, however: in addition to the breeding sites, she also listed the indigenous species of Earth. Rather than merely rattling off every species discovered on the planet, however, she instead described individual characteristics, personality tendencies, and of course, if they had built a complex society.

There was only one that fit that last criteria.

"Now let's see, these... humans? Do they occupy any sites of interest?"

As I swiped the data away to return to our holographic communication, I couldn't help but notice Rose stumble at my relatively simple question. Did she just not know the answer, perhaps? Or was she purposely hesitating?

"Um... yes. Humans do in fact occupy the absolute majority of the sites I've listed. There are only a few in which they don't."

"I see. I'll make sure to note this in my report to the Board of Diamonds. They were very specific about it."

"Hey... Yellow?"

I turned away from my console and back to the hologram, closing the log program I had just opened and prepared. "Hm?"

"If it isn't any trouble to ask... what exactly will happen to the species that reside near future Kindergarten sites?"

"Well..." I placed a hand on my chin. I had to admit it was a perplexing question, to say nothing of its unpredictability. "I suppose they'll have to be eliminated. If there are as many humans on Earth as you said in your report, it'll be impossible to simply move them elsewhere. Besides, the board wants the Kindergartens set up as fast as possible, so it would be economically unfeasible to try and relocate them."

Even through the flickering image of her hologram, I could see Rose's eyes bulge. She was quick to hide it.

"I see. I'm sorry if it was an intrusive question, I was just curious."

"Not at all." I brought my chair over to the left portion of the console, once again opening the log program to submit a report to the Board of Diamonds. "I assume our meeting is at an end, now that all the topics have been discussed?" Rose nodded.

"Very good. And... Rose?" I pressed a red button on the console, shutting off the recording software. Now our conversation was private, away from the ever intrusive required records for the Diamonds.

I smiled.

"Rose, you've been down there for six months. Only six more. I can't wait to see you again."

She smiled as well, nodding her head. My eyebrows furrowed. It might have been the hologram, but something about it felt... different.

"Neither can I... Commander."

And with that, she turned off the communicator. The blue light before faded into darkness.

"She didn't even say goodbye..."

At last, the day arrived. It had been a full year since Rose's deployment to Earth. She was finally returning to my service.

I sat in my throne as calmly as I could manage, though it was proving increasingly difficult to do so. My feet tapped furiously against the ground as I waited for the pod to ascend through the same opening it shot down in my control room a year ago. To finally see her again.

I had to wonder if she felt the same.

Every month, I would have Rose personally deliver her report from Earth, always via holographic communication. It was the only time I would get to speak to her one on one, so I relished each and every meeting we had, regardless of the official duties we had to sort through. And it would always be the same thing; I would greet Rose enthusiastically, and we would quickly share a personal discussion before getting down to business.

Those "personal discussions" had taken a bit of a nosedive recently.

As the months dragged on and her mission on Earth reached its end, I couldn't help but notice a significant change in Rose's demeanor. She didn't seem nearly as happy speaking to me as she used to, no matter what we were talking about. She was especially sensitive to the topic of humans, however; I had to make a mental note to myself to bring them up as little as possible, as nearly anything I said about them would turn into an argument. We'd always forgive each other quickly, but...

I shook my head as the center floor of the chamber slid open. She was arriving.

As the pod clicked into place in the middle of the room, the floor slid back into its normal position. I couldn't see through the fogged window of the device, but I knew my best friend was behind it. I stood up and ran to the door as it slid open.

"Rose!"

I jumped into her arms as she stepped out of the pod. I quickly wrapped my own around her, pulling her in as tight a hug as I could manage. I waited for her to return the gesture.

It never came.

"Hi, Yellow..." she mumbled. She grabbed me by the shoulders and gently pushed me away, giving me a small smile. "It's good to see you again."

I said nothing. My mouth fell open in an O shape.

Why? Why did she just do that? Why did she intentionally NOT return my embrace? Why would she not reciprocate my common gesture of friendship? It didn't make any sense, was she upset with me for something? What was it?

And then it hit me. That was exactly it. She was upset.

"Rose... is it about the Earth?"

Her smile disappeared in an instant. She locked eye contact with me.

"Yellow, I have to know. I couldn't ask you this over the hologram, even in our talks. What are they going to do to Earth?"

I looked away from her. It was a legitimate question, in my opinion: even I had to admit I wasn't entirely sure what the Board of Diamonds was planning for the Earth, aside from establishing Kindergartens. I felt there was no harm in relaying this information back to her.

"I'm not entirely sure."

"Not entirely sure?! What do you mean you're not entirely sure, you're a Diamond! Can't you find out somehow?"

"I may be a Diamond, but I'm the newest on the board, meaning I have the least authority! There are a lot of things Blue Diamond keeps away from the rest of us, things we don't know very much about. Why does it bother you so much, anyways?"

"Because I care about-" Rose slammed a hand to her mouth. It was too late. I already heard them.

I took a step back.

"Rose... have you... grown attached to Earth?"

Even as the words left my throat, my mind was going into overdrive on the consequences if this was true. No matter which route I went down, it ended with one simple fact: we were gems. The most powerful species in the universe, bar none. If there was a planet with resources we needed, we conquered that planet without a second thought. Showing ANY emotional attachment or sympathy to any potential targets, be it past, present, or future, was a very serious offense indeed.

I shuddered.

Now it was Rose's turn to look away from me. She began to walk away, towards the window of the room pointing to the Earth below. I barely heard her whisper.

"... Yes."

Without wasting a moment, I ran over to Rose, grabbing her by the shoulders and forcing her to face me. Even though she was slightly taller than myself, I began to shake her.

"Rose, NO! Do you know what this means if they find out? They'll harvest you, and use your gem for fuel! Unless you're Blue Diamond herself, directly opposing the board only ends one way!"

"You don't get it, Yellow!" She swiveled around to face me, wearing an expression I'd never seen from her before. Her eyes were cold and unforgiving. "I was down there! I saw them for myself! I saw them..."

I tightly clutched the windowsill. My gaze fixed firmly on the blue and green planet.

"Them? Do you mean the humans?"

I could see her slowly nod from the corner of my eye. "Yes. They're the only species on the planet with a fully functioning society. There are approximately twenty million of them overall... think about that for a second."

"What? The population number?"

Rose nodded once again. "Yellow, I want to put this into perspective. How many gems do you think there are? Combine all the different classes."

"Um... I don't know, maybe..." I scratched the top of my head, fumbling for an estimate. "Two million? That's probably a bit high of a guess. But keep in mind, the whole point of taking Earth is so we can create more."

"Yellow, if the board wants to set up Kindergartens at all the locations I was ordered to list... they'll have to eliminate the entire species. All twenty million. It would be like killing all gemkind... ten times over."

I froze. My voice died in my throat.

Rose's objective was to put the casualty numbers in a different light, and she did a fantastic job. I had only been a Diamond a few hundred years, but never had I thought about planets we've colonized before quite like that. From the perspective of not the conqueror, but the conquered.

I looked at Rose once again. Her look of anger had given way to one of sadness, a frown cursing her lips as her eyebrows sat furrowed, seemingly forever. I still hated to see it.

"Rose... what do you want me to do?"

She took a deep breath. "Talk to the board. We can still set up Kindergartens there. There are many places where loss of life would be minimal, or even non-existent. But you know as well as I do they have their sights fixed on the whole planet, not just parts of it."

I grimly nodded. She held up her hand, signaling she wasn't quite finished.

"Yellow?"

"... Yes?"

"Please..."

"Ah, Commander Yellow Diamond. Thank you for coming in on such short notice."

"Of course, Emperor Blue Diamond."

As I approached the desk of my superior officer, I couldn't help but get that same feeling from all those years ago, the same experience from the day I was promoted to Diamond. I felt weak. Unimportant.

I knew I needed to be realistic with myself. I was the newest, and thus lowest ranked Diamond on the entire board. Even if I publicly showed significant amounts of disapproval towards Homeworld's plan for Earth, would it really make much of a difference? Nobody around here liked to admit it, but it boiled down to one simple fact: Blue Diamond held the cards. If she wanted something done, then 99% of the time it was done. Without question or disapproval.

I wanted to help Rose. But what could I do?

"I've called you to this private meeting for a rather important reason. Do you know why?"

A bead of sweat trickled down the back of my neck. The formerly expansive room suddenly felt quite a bit smaller, as a wave of claustrophobia overwhelmed me. What was Blue Diamond getting at? Did she somehow know about the conversation between Rose and I?

"After consulting with the board, we've collectively come to a decision. We've chosen, after a great deal of debate, mind you, to place you in charge of the excavation project towards transforming the planet known as Earth into a gem colony."

I blinked.

Of all the things I expected her to say, it certainly wasn't that. If anything, I was expecting some form of punishment. But instead, to hear I've been placed in charge of the entire operation? To put the fate of Earth into my hands?

I fought as hard as I could to hide my smile. This was exactly the break I needed.

"Thank you, ma'am." Blue Diamond smiled.

"Very good. Now then, I'm sure you understand the... implications of this responsibility? You have quite the task ahead of you." I curtly nodded.

"I do, ma'am. I assume I will also be in charge of deciding which locations are crafted into gem breeding sites?"

"I'm not sure what you mean by that," said Blue Diamond, leaning forward in her seat. "We've gone over the list your second in command provided us of suitable locations, and all listed seemed more than adequate. It shouldn't be a debate as to which ones to select. Take them all."

"But I..." I hesitated, my voice catching on nothing in my throat. "... Yes, ma'am. Understood."

Now it was her turn to nod. "Excellent. Now then..." I raised an eyebrow as I saw Blue Diamond's hand trail to the recorder button of her console. She pressed it, turning the software off.

"Commander Yellow Diamond, what I'm about to tell you is to remain strictly between you and me. The other board members would be very upset to learn of our correspondence."

My eyes flickered wide for a brief moment, but I nodded anyways. Still, I wasn't sure what to make of this sudden change in complexion from my superior. Why would she deem it necessary to suspend the recording of our meeting? Was whatever she was about to say really that critical?

"Commander, I'm afraid our plans for the Earth are not merely a recommendation or luxury, but a necessity."

"A necessity, ma'am?"

"Indeed. You see, our recent conquests of the outermost planetary systems have left our numbers... depleted, both in resources and gempower. Our factories are working around the clock to replace the material losses, but I'm afraid the loss of gems, Quartz in particular, is another story. To put it into other words: since the absolute majority of our population consists of military personnel, our population is declining. Rather quickly, at that."

I bit my lower lip, taking care to keep it invisible as I collected my thoughts. "Permission to speak freely, ma'am."

"Granted."

"With all due respect, why focus on Earth? Why not establish Kindergartens in other conquered planets? To me, it seems rather odd to hone in on one in particular."

"Your concern is noted," said Blue Diamond, "and I assure you we've already considered this possibility. Unfortunately, none of the planets we investigated had the proper conditions to establish Kindergartens, and there weren't any others nearby. To be completely honest with you, Commander, the only reason we sent you and your chain of command to the Milky Way Galaxy, as it is popularly known, was as a last ditch attempt to find something usable nearby. We got lucky."

I made a careful effort to not appear moved by this information, though the storm of my mind spoke very differently. What I just heard from Blue Diamond, both about the Earth and the importance of the mission, changed everything.

Everything.

"Understood, ma'am."

She nodded once again. "The board wished to keep the information I've explained to you in private to discourage pressure, but I found that to be unnecessary. You've proven yourself quite well, and I felt you deserved to know of the truth."

I nodded. Once.

Blue Diamond cleared her throat. "Now that you understand the scope and importance of your mission, I have no doubt you will carry it out to the fullest. Consider all resources employed by Homeworld at your disposal. You are dismissed." I stood up from my seat.

"Thank you, ma'am."

"Damn it..."

I tugged at the piece of cloth I'd been fiddling with, tearing it yet again. I snapped my fingers, my gem fixing it in an instant. I tugged again.

It was an excellent way to relieve stress. But my mind ran anyways.

Homeworld needed gems. That much was obvious just from Blue Diamond's body language during our meeting, but the fact that she went off the record to tell me so all but confirmed it. If it wasn't a serious problem, then she wouldn't have taken the measures she did to make sure I knew. It was the main reason for investigating Earth. It was why we needed it so desperately.

But at what cost?

I thought back to what Rose informed me of. There were twenty million humans on Earth, not to mention the other species on the planet. Even if I had no personal connection to them like she did, the sheer scope of the devastation that would be wrought upon them was horrifying to even think about. To actually do it...

To actually do it.

Would I actually do it?

At the end of the day, I sent Rose down to Earth. I didn't go there myself. Even if I knew the exact implications of my decision, they were just that: implications. I had nothing to do with humans, or any other creature on that planet. I had no connection.

And Homeworld needed gems.

I stood up from my throne and walked to my control panel. Just as I thought I made up my mind, Rose's face flickered throughout my thoughts. I tugged at the cloth again.

"I can't just betray Rose like this... no, we have to colonize Earth. Homeworld needs it... but in exchange for what? Who do I side with?"

I was the commander of the Earth fleet. My decision was final.

I slammed my fist against the panel. I slumped low to the surface, a drop of sweat dripping off the bridge of my nose. I tightly shut my eyes.

"What do I do...?"