Disclaimer: the GW characters don't belong to me and I make no monetary profit from writing about them.

Note: This one comes with sincere apologies for the delay between updates. Many, many thanks to Kaeru Shisho, whose ongoing support and encouragement got me back here, to Dyna for the occasional gentle prod in this direction, and to everyone who has reviewed this story, especially Eliza, who took the time to comment on a fic that was officially on a break.

Playing Duo:

The easiest thing would be to treat it like a mission. He had a very clear objective, and the result of failure would be Duo's life. That was not going to happen.

It surprised him that Duo actually knocked instead of storming through the door. It was one sharp, staccato rap, though, and the door was flung open. He was angry, of course; an incandescence that was almost physical. Mixed in with that was the shining relief that Quatre was alive, and apparently safe, and the sheer strength of the bond between them. That connection was another near-tangible thing. It propelled Quatre, injured ankle and all, across the room and he was wrapped around his best friend, sobbing some sort of incoherent apologies.

'Look at me, Quatre.' Duo's voice was unbelievably gentle; it was so long since anyone had spoken to him like that, had held him. He never even saw the blow coming. Trowa would have been furious with him.

'If you're trying to do your empath thing on me, I'll save you the trouble. I'm flaming pissed with you. What happens now, Winner? Are you going to call Une and tell her I've been abusing you too? Get me arrested?'

'Of course not. I deserved that.' It took Quatre time to pull himself up off the floor on to the bed; his ankle was still abominably painful. Duo hadn't really hurt him; he'd had pulled back at the last possible moment. That had to mean something. The shock of it had been the worst thing; he'd never have believed Duo would actually hit him. Of course, he hadn't believed it of Trowa either. 'When did you stop trusting me?'

'This isn't about us,' Duo snapped. 'Quite frankly, I don't give a flying fuck about you. I'm here to discuss Trowa. Remember him? The guy you dumped so you could hook up with a girl.'

He hadn't expected that; he should have. Of course he should. Duo and Trowa had always been close; they'd become more than that if Barton could be believed. And Duo always put other people first.

Duo dragged a chair across to the bed, deliberately scraping the wooden floor and flopped down in in it. 'Here's the deal, Winner. You're going to call Une and take back whatever the hell you told Une about him that got him arrested. You're going to do it now, while I wait. Or else I'm sending those pictures of you and Tro that you had on your laptop to the sleaziest tabloids in the universe.'

'I've already spoken to her, just before you arrived.' He didn't believe that ridiculous little bluff, but how - why - had Duo seen those photos? What had he been doing at the cottage?

'And I swear to God, if you don't do it exactly the way I tell you, I…what did you say?' Duo stared at him, obviously unable to credit what he was hearing.

'I said I've already talked to her. Call her if you don't believe me.'

'Oh.' Suddenly deflated, Duo sat back. 'What the fuck is going on with you? Why'd you sign that arrest warrant in the first place?'

Quatre sighed. 'It wouldn't have made any difference if I hadn't. You know how she feels about Trowa. She was convinced he was guilty; she was going to hunt him down anyway. By making an official statement, I made sure that the search was conducted by the book. Otherwise, she'd have had every bounty hunter in the universe after him.'

'And you think that knowing you'd betrayed him was preferable?' Duo demanded.

Ah. That had always been the crux of it. And he'd decided months ago that keeping Trowa safe was the most important thing. 'I thought his physical safety was the priority.'

Duo was quiet for a few moments, twiddling the end of his hair. 'And what about all the other shit you've pulled on him? I've seen that goddamned file you kept on all this so-called abuse that was going on. And, just for the record, he didn't abuse you. I've seen those photos, and it's not abuse. Believe me, I've seen the real thing, and what Tro did to you, that doesn't even show up on my radar.'

'You saw that?' Quatre goggled up at him. 'How?' Dear Allah, had everyone in the universe seen it? He'd ordered it destroyed, and Sarab had gone against his deliberate orders.

Ah.

Well, it had always been a possibility, if a remote one.

Trust no one.

'That doesn't matter. Why the hell would you do something like that?'

'For Trowa's sake,' Quatre said simply. 'He refused to admit that he had a problem. I thought if I had physical proof of what was happening, I could somehow make him believe there was something badly wrong. I know it was a horrible thing to do. I just didn't know what else to do, Duo. I tried to so hard to get him to see some sort of therapist and he refused.'

Duo glared at him. 'You what? You've always said you don't believe in that stuff.'

'I know. I was just so scared, I was willing to try anything..'

'You were scared of Tro?' Duo gave a harsh bark of something that wasn't remotely near laughter. 'I don't believe you. He'd never hurt you.'

'He did, actually.' Quatre lifted his chin and met Duo's eyes. 'But no, I wasn't scared of him. I was terrified he was going to hurt someone else. You weren't there. He's just been so…unbalanced over the last few months. Ever since I was almost assassinated last October, he's been utterly paranoid. You know what he's like when he thinks I'm in some sort of danger. You were there, both times I was in hospital. He doesn't care about anything but protecting me. I've had over a dozen employees resign since Christmas, because Trowa pulled guns on them. I had to do something, Duo. I thought if I could collect enough definite evidence, then he would admit that there was a problem, and we could try to get help.'

'You wanted to help him?' Duo scoffed. 'Interesting way to go about it. For Christ's sake, you were engaged to a girl, you were drugging him to the eyeballs. Did you actually expect him just to sit back and let you screw his life up for him?'

Quatre gave him a slightly curious glance. 'I'm not sure how much, if anything, Trowa has told you. My engagement to Delphine was actually his idea in the first place, not mine. He thought it would be the perfect way to deflect attention from the two of us. And he knew about the drugs from the start. Oh, not precisely what he was taking, but he was the one who thought he needed some form of stress medication. I was opposed to the idea, but he convinced me.'

'Yeah, right. He convinced you to give him highly illegal drugs with unknown side effects? That really sounds like Trowa!'

'He trusted me to choose a suitable medication,' Quatre said quietly. There is widespread medical prejudice against Denroquine, simply because it was developed by Romfeller. There is no real evidence that it's dangerous; just a few old clinical trials that were never completed. The medical establishment assumes that because it's a Romfeller drug, it has to be somehow tainted. I'd never have done that to Tro! From my research, it seemed to be the best option.'

'Trowa told me he had all sorts of side effects from taking it.'

'You know what Trowa's like when he's supposed to be on medication. I doubt if he even took half of the recommended dosage; certainly never enough to cause any harm. He's always suffered from headaches, ever since I've known him. He was under stress; he just assumed it was the drug. I did try to explain but, well…he wasn't really in any mood to listen.'

'I can imagine,' Duo said dryly. 'Quat, why didn't you tell me any of this?'

Quat. Duo was the first person who'd ever called him that. That he used it had to be important. His friend wanted, so very badly, to believe that this was fixable, that there would be happy endings all around.

'I couldn't. Tro made me promise I wouldn't. He knew, really, how awful everything was, but he refused to talk about it.' Quatre didn't bother to hide the shakiness in his voice. 'It's been so terrible, Duo. Like a nightmare.' Well, that was true; probably the first true he'd said so far. He was trying so hard not to look at the wall opposite his bed, at the empty space there, that it was almost painful. He didn't think Duo had noticed yet.

'Hey.' Duo was on the bed suddenly, arms sliding around him, and Quatre fell into the comfort of them. It made him an awful, hateful person, but he was desperate for this tiny connection. Trowa would never hold him like this again. Never. Nor would Duo, after he found out what was going on. 'You could have told me, you idiot.'

'I didn't know how,' Quatre whispered dolefully. 'It was my own fault, anyway. I should have handled things better.'

'Don't start that!' Duo warned.

'I can't help it.' Quatre gave a little hiccup. Oh, Allah. He didn't deserve Duo being so nice to him. 'I do everything wrong. But I didn't want our friends to know what was going on. You saw those photos; I know they aren't very much compared to what…to what some people went through. But it was Trowa. I never, never thought he'd actually hurt me.'

Another truth. If didn't help in the least that Quatre had engineered the whole thing. The fact that Trowa had hurt him had been purely due to his own powers of manipulation.

'And I've been so horrible to you. I don't blame you for hitting me.'

'I shouldn't have done that,' Duo shifted uncomfortably. 'I've just been so damn mad at you for weeks, now. Shit, I've never even asked how you are. What the hell happened to you?'

'I don't remember any of it.' Quatre whispered.

'Seriously?' Duo's eyes widened. 'I thought you were just spinning that little amnesia act 'cause you didn't want to talk to Une?'

'It's true. Apparently, I still have some sort of drugs in my bloodstream, and some sort of concussion. I just remember driving away from Delphine's parents' house and after that, there's nothing. Nothing. It's unbearable! I have absolutely no idea what happened in the past week. The doctors say my memory may come back but…there are no definite guarantees.'

'Yeah, I can imagine you'd hate that.' Duo's mouth twisted wryly. 'I know you escaped at least once. They told you about that little doodle of Sandrock we find in that apartment block?' Quatre nodded. 'And you really can't remember any of it? Shit, that really sucks.

'Une said something about an apartment. I thought it was where I'd been held.'

'Nope. We think you managed to escape somehow; this kid you met was trying to help you.' He looked down at the quilt, twisting one of the tassels between finger and thumb. 'It was a shame about Kyle.'

'I'm sorry. Who's Kyle exactly?'

Duo looked up quickly into his friend's wide eyes and shrugged. 'It doesn't matter. You really can't remember any of that, can you? Kyle tried to help you and he got killed for it.'

'That's so terrible.' Quatre whispered it, not bothering to disguise how he felt. He'd seen the boy's body, but he'd clung to some thread of hope that maybe he'd only been injured. Stupid. 'I'm so sorry, Duo. I mean that. I did some dreadful things to you.'

'You were moderately awful, yeah.'

'I just fell apart after Trowa left. I know that doesn't excuse anything, but you know how much I've always needed him.'

Duo sighed. 'Yeah, I can see how that would happen. I pulled some serious shit after Heero, and you guys were always there for me. There's just one thing; all that stuff you said to me on the 'phone that time, just after Tro left. You didn't mean it, did you?'

'Of course I didn't! I wasn't thinking straight. You know what it's like when you lose the one person who meant the world to you. I've been feeling so bad about that, and I was scared to call you back. I was sure you'd never want to talk to me again and I just couldn't face losing you as well.' The last few words came out as a sob, and Duo tightened his embrace.

'Chill, Quat. We'll sort this out. Somehow. For a start, you're still my best friend. You've only been a total bastard for the past couple of weeks, really; we've been friends for eight years. They sort of cancel each other out.'

'Do you really mean that? That we're still friends?' Quatre sniffed, finding a handkerchief and blowing his nose strenuously. There was no way in the universe that he deserved Duo's friendship. It made him into some sort of parasite, that he was leeching off Duo's emotions; his hope and optimism, but it felt so wonderful. He could pretend, even for a second, that everything would be all right. Even that he could tell Duo the truth.

No. That was the most stupid idea ever. He'd watched his own sister die, horribly, as an object lesson from Barton. That was never going to happen to Duo.

'Sure we are. You don't get rid of me that easy. You were pretty nice to me the first time we met, and I couldn't work out why, remember? I thought you were trying to get into my pants or something. I wasn't used to people just trying to be friendly without wanting something.'

'I did want something, I suppose. I wanted to get to know you. I still have that shell you gave me, the first time we met.'

'Yeah?' Duo's face brightened for a minute and then his grin faded. 'I lost all mine. Even that big one Heero found for me. I've never been much good to hanging on to stuff, have I? Not even things I really care about.'

'You've still got me.' Careful of his ankle, Quatre slid down the bed, and let Duo wind an arm around him and pull him close. It wasn't the first time they'd shared a bed. There had been that awful night during the war when they'd thought Heero had been lost on a mission. There had been several after Heero had left, after the war, in this very bed. Nights of holding Duo and trying to convince him that he still had something to live for, even without his love.

It had never been remotely sexual between the two of them. It had just felt friendly and affectionate and close and it still did. Even if it was all built, this time, on deception.

'I'm no better,' the blond admitted ruefully. 'I love Trowa more than anything in the universe, and I've done a superlative job of losing him.' There, he'd said it out loud. There was some symmetrical irony in telling him that; since Duo was the first person he'd ever told about loving Trowa.

'You haven't. He's still crazy about you. Seriously, he was ready to tear the universe apart of find you. I bet you guys could sort this out, if you tried.'

Now there was a lovely little fantasy to lose oneself in. 'Perhaps.' It was never going to happen, but he could indulge for these few seconds, before he lost Duo as well.

'I'm telling you,' Duo said firmly, and then hauled himself upright, leaning against the headboard, and pulling Quatre up with him. 'Listen, that little stunt with the sleeping pills last week. Were you seriously trying to off yourself?'

'I don't know. I felt so miserable after Trowa left that I didn't really care. I suppose if I'd really wanted to kill myself, I'd have done it properly.' He could stay that to Duo, here, and know just how well his friend would understand. He'd made Duo promise, once, in this room, that he wouldn't try to kill himself again.

Duo nodded. 'Heero said you said all sorts of weird shit when he went to see you.'

'I'm sure I did,' the blond said carefully, negotiating through a minefield of words. 'You know I don't deal well with drugs.' None of them did. Fifteen year old boys couldn't fight a war without the benefit of certain chemical stimulants; they'd all undergone various 'experimentation' at the doctors' hands.

His friend seemed to accept that, leaning back and glancing around. 'God, it's so weird being back in this room. Like nothing's ever changed.'

He'd noticed; of course, he had. People tended to forget sometimes just how intelligent Duo Maxwell was.

'I've also loved that picture of Tro.' It was over their bed; a framed charcoal sketch created from light and shadows. Duo's eyes swept around the room, resting with pleasure on the photograph that had been carefully positioned on the bedside table, of Duo and Quatre together during the war, and then frowning slightly. 'Didn't you use to have a picture on that other wall?'

Quatre's shrug was carefully negligent. 'It got broken somehow. I keep meaning to have it replaced or fixed.'

Oh, God, Duo, please understand.

Duo answered with a shrug of his own; no real way to tell what that meant.

Quatre shifted slightly, resting his head on Duo's arm. 'Will you tell me about Heero now?'

'How did you know about that?' His friend's hand, which had been stroking his back gently, stilled for a second. 'Oh, right. Stupid question. It's that obvious?'

'To me, yes. But you never really stopped loving him, did you? Even after everything?'

'I guess not.' Duo confessed ruefully. 'I tried damn hard though.'

'I don't think it works like that.'

'No? You seem to have achieved it. With Heero, I mean.'

'It's not exactly the same. I didn't love him like you did. And I saw him with Relena, that night. I spent months with you in that hospital. I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive him for any of that.'

'Even if I can?' Duo let him go, propping himself up on one elbow. 'We've spent a lot of time together lately. He's been helping me with that court case you set up.' He took a deep breath and let a little spike of bitterness enter his voice. 'The one where you're trying to get me committed as mentally incompetent.'

'Oh, no.' Quatre closed his eyes. 'Duo, I'm so sorry. I can't believe I did that. I didn't even know what I was doing at that point. I promise, I'll talk to the judge, I'll have it dropped. I never meant it to go this far. I have some influence with a number of the senior ESUN legislators. I swear, I'll have it dismissed. I'll make it up to you.'

'Just let it go, Quat.' Duo sounded weary of the whole thing. 'You can't do anything. The case is already registered with the courts in Italy. Besides, Heero's helping me; he says there isn't really a case. It was a shitty thing to do to me, but it did mean he and I got to be friends again. We'll call it quits, OK?'

'What does Wufei think of all of this?'

'He's OK, actually. He's sort of got other stuff to think about right now. Oh, maybe no one told you, but Wu and Zechs finally got engaged a few days ago.'

'Finally!' Quatre's face broke into a huge smile. 'No, I didn't actually know, but I saw a newspaper article speculating that it was about to happen, something about Wufei applying for Sanque citizenship.' He laughed. 'It was a terrible piece; they actually called Wufei Zechs' 'exotic toy-boy'! He must have been so furious. But it's wonderful. Are they both deliriously happy?'

'Deliriously.' The grin faltered. 'This thing with me and Heero, it's serious.'

'I know.'

Duo made a face. 'It sucks sometimes, having a best friend who's got super powers. What else can you tell?'

Quatre reached up and placed his right hand, palm down, on Duo's forehead, covering the little scar at his temple. It wasn't really necessary; just a little excuse to touch him, but sometimes physical contact made the empathy stronger, especially when he'd spent so many years trying not to feel other people's emotions.

The bright love for Heero was there, as he'd known it would be. It had been, from the very first time they'd met.

'You're very confused about all this.' Quatre let his lashes flutter close; it was easier with his eyes shut. He could almost see the swirls of colour. 'It's happened so very fast. You still don't know a lot of things about him. You don't know how it's all going to work out between you. You want, very much, to believe what he's told you, but you're not sure.'

'Shit,' Duo breathed softly.

'You know you've been feeling all these things, but you've been trying not to think about them,' Quatre added. Typical Duo, trying to convince himself that problems didn't exist.

'I guess. Sort of.' He took Quatre's hand and lowered it gently. 'That's enough to be going on with. D'you think I'm mad?'

'Oh, no.' Quatre shook his head vehemently. 'After everything I've done to you lately, I don't think you need me getting involved.'

'OK, now I know for sure that you've got amnesia, or concussion or whatever. I can't believe you're turning down an excuse to meddle.'

'I've given up meddling in things that don't concern me.' He tried to make it sound like a joke. It was all too true. Never again. If he could just sort out this appalling mess that he'd helped to make, he would never interfere with anything or anyone for the rest of his life.

'So now I don't concern you? That's not very nice. Quat, come on. You think I'm nuts, don't you?'

'I thought I was meant to be the empath, not you. That isn't a fair question, Duo. Not in this room. I can't stop remembering the last time. I'm sorry, but I never want to see you like that again. Don't blame me for feeling the way I do about Heero, please.' He swallowed. 'I never thought you'd survive losing him like that. I know you didn't want to live without him for so long.'

'I do love him,' Duo whispered. 'And he's told me how he feels about me.'

'Do you believe him?' Quatre posed the question coolly.

'When I'm with him, yes. I do. Fuck. Maybe it's just that I want to believe him so badly. I just really want to be with him. You know?'

'I know. I still want Trowa, even after everything. So I can understand that part of it. I just find it terribly difficult to trust your happiness to Heero a second time. I'm sorry; that's just me being over-protective. It all just seems so fast.' He caught his lower lip in his teeth and bit down gently.

'It's been almost six years, hasn't it, since he tried to contact you? It's all just a little hard to take in, that's all. Forgive me? I'd hate to think of you rushing into something. I think that maybe you…you slept with him too quickly.' He didn't have to feign the flush that swept across his cheeks; talking about sex, even with Duo, was never easy.

'Quatre!' Duo exclaimed, his own face flaming. 'Stop empathing me! Is nothing private?'

'I didn't!' Grinning to cover up his embarrassment, Duo fanned his friend's hot cheeks with one hand. 'I just remember how you used to look after…after…you know and oh God, I'm happy for you if this is what you want and I'm sorry but I swear, if he ever hurts you again I'll kill him with my bare hands.'

Oh…..shit. He'd done it; he'd actually done it. Or hadn't done it, rather. He'd been supposed to break them up again, to save Duo's life. And he could have, because there was so much history between them all, and because Duo was so uncertain about all of this, and because he'd always trusted Quatre, and because was one of the three people in the universe who knew just why Wufei and Heero had had a spectacular falling out.

He could have broken his best friend's heart to save his life and he hadn't been able to do it.

'And now?' Duo had a few doubts, certainly, but that was only natural at the start of a new relationship. Or the resumption of an old one. But there was the steady, shimmering pulse of love for Heero weaving its way through all the confusion, and he'd already broken Trowa's heart and he just couldn't do that to Duo. Zechs and Wufei would have to keep him safe this time.

Quatre twisted around, burying his face in the mound of pillows, trying so hard not to cry but everything hurt. His ankle and his heart and the sharp stinging cuts on his left arm, and the knowledge that he was putting Duo in danger.

'Hey, Quat. Get back here, you twit. Look, no offence or anything, but you're kinda emotional, you know.'

That made him laugh, really laugh and cry a little at the one time, and it seemed that Duo, wrapped so tightly around him that breathing was an effort, was doing exactly the same. Duo had first said those words to him in the desert, the first time they'd talked properly, making them a shared joke, rather than an insult. It had been the first time he'd let himself dare to hope that Duo liked him. The comment had been a running joke between them for years.

'I am not in the least emotional,' Quatre added his own punch line when he had the breath for it.

'Yeah, Quatre. And the sky is green.' Duo loosened his hold, just a little. 'Sorry. You're right. I guess we did rush things. It just felt right. At the time. But, well, you know.'

'I know.'

'What happens now?' Duo asked eventually. It was hard to know just how he meant that. 'Quat, when you called me earlier, you were adamant about me – all of us – having to leave L4. What was that about? Or can you not remember that either?'

'Oh.' Quatre swallowed. He'd almost forgotten; he wasn't sure whether Duo meant that as a slightly snide comment or not. Of course, he hadn't believed the amnesia story for one second. 'I hadn't been conscious for long, and I was panicking. I'd just been told about those awful explosions; it's a miracle that no one was killed, and about Zechs being shot. It's like there's a curse on this colony or something.'

'Not a curse,' Duo muttered. 'Just someone out to destroy WEI, it looks like.' It was hard to tell whether he believed it or not. 'Look; you got abducted, and nearly killed, there were three major explosions at Winner properties on Saturday; God know what else is going on.' He flicked Quatre a sudden grin. 'Did you seriously nick that bitch Une's phone to call me?'

'Oh, yes.' Quatre felt a smug little smile curve his own mouth; at least he'd done one thing recently that he was proud of. 'I imagine she's not terribly happy with me right now.'

'Fairly safe bet,' Duo agreed dryly. 'Quat, seriously, if there's anything that's going to make Tro take you back, apart from the fact that he still loves you, I mean, that should do it.'

Quatre felt his own smile begin to wilt, and maintained it with effort. Nothing would ever convince Trowa to forgive him, but he'd known that from the start and made his choices accordingly.

And in one more day, Duo would never want to see him again either.