Disclaimer: I don't own them.

Note: A huge amount of thanks to KS for working with me on this, on her holidays to boot!

Warnings: Yes. Very much so. All kinds of Duo/Wufei angst. Mention of (past and possible future) NCS and torture and general nastiness. A little bit of sap and a quite hideous cliffhanger….

Flight:

'Well?' Zechs was standing outside the library door; Wufei almost tripped over him.

'No go.' Wufei sighed gustily, letting the prince take his hand and lead him upstairs to their room. He and Zechs had decided Wufei, a former Gundam Pilot who'd fought for the Colonies, had to have some sort of influence with the L4 authorities, and so it had been Wufei who'd attempted to have Duo's destination changed.

'Someone very much wants Duo to go to L2.' Wufei waited until they were back in their suite, with the door closed, before moving into his lover's arms. 'Mil. I have to go with him.'

The blue eyes sharpened. 'I don't understand. They refuse to make an exception for Duo, but you're being permitted to go wherever you like.'

'I know.' Wufei wound one hand in that glorious hair, tugging Zechs down to kiss his on the mouth. 'It doesn't make any sense. It was implied that if I didn't stop pushing for Duo to come with us, there would be consequences for everyone else. Then I suggested going to L2, and Amir just said that was fine.'

'Fine.' Zechs muttered the word bleakly. 'I don't like this, love. Any of it. But, yes, of course you have to have to go with him. I'd go too, but…'

'You have to look after the others,' Wufei supplied softly. They were going to have to say goodbye, very soon. He and Duo were being taken to the shuttle port first. Amir hadn't made any direct threats, but it had been made very sure that the safety of their friends depended on them getting there without incident.

Zechs swore, fluently and furiously, when he heard that. His arms, around the smaller man's body, held tight enough to hurt. 'How the hell did we ever get into this nightmare? I have to watch you walk away from me like this. God, 'Fei, you've no idea what you're going into.'

'I'll come back to you.' Wufei tilted his head back slightly, looking steadily at his lover. 'When all this is over, I want to marry you. I don't care about the ceremony or the honeymoon or any of that. I just want to say the words.'

'We can say them now,' the prince said abruptly, taking Wufei's hands in his. 'Why not? They're only words. I, Milliardo Karl Hector Peacecraft, take thee, Chang Wufei, as my husband, to love and cherish for the rest of my days.'

'Oh, God.' Wufei blinked. 'I, Chang Wufei, take thee, Milliardo as my husband, always.' The rest of the words were swallowed by a fierce, desperate kiss.

'We'll have to do this again, you know.' Zechs was trying so very hard to sound normal. 'My sister's determined to wear a fluffy pink gown and throw confetti.'

'I know. And Duo's determined to be my best man, so he can pretend to lose the rings and find them at the last minute.' Wufei offered up a resolute, grim smile. 'Hector? Really?'

Zechs grinned. 'My father loved the ancient Greek myths. It could have been a lot worse.' He kissed Wufei again, then just held him. 'Be careful. Please. You're a married man, now.'

'I'll try.' He couldn't, in honesty, promise more than that, and they both knew it. 'Where is he?'

'In his room. He said he wanted to pack.'

Duo had a bag open on his bed, and clothes strewn around it, but he was standing at the window, nose pressed against the pane.

'I'm sorry. I tried to convince them to let you come with us. It's no go. That bastard said it would interfere with their records.'

''S'OK.' It was just a whisper of sound. 'I know you tried.'

'We have to leave now.'

'Yeah. Get it over with, right?' He turned around slowly. 'We?'

'You and I. I am not letting you do this alone.'

'Thanks, Wu. You're the best. Seriously.' Duo crossed the room, still not looking at him. 'No way you're doing that, though. Zechs needs you. Shit, I never even thought; he's not supposed to be flying is he? So soon after being shot and his operation and all?'

'They've talked to his surgeon. She's not overly happy about it, but it's not life-threatening. And I think it's better for all of us to leave L4.'

'Sure. But you're going with him.'

'There is no way in this world that I'm letting you do this without me,' Wufei said firmly. He was prepared for more arguments, more than prepared to counter all of them, but Duo just gave a little nod, and that was the scariest thing of all, for him just to give in like that.

He packed some of Duo's clothes, the book he was reading, a sketch pad that was lying on the dresser.

He'd seen Duo like this before. When things got too bad for him to pull out the jester's cap and bells, he just shut down. The last time he'd been this bad had been the Christmas of 197; the first anniversary of breaking up with Heero. He'd gone out looking to get himself killed.

He let Wufei guide him downstairs, through brief farewells to the others, and into the waiting car. There was an escort; motorbikes and a second car. Wufei slid in beside Duo on the back seat, every instinct he possessed screaming at the utter wrongness of it all.

'How are you going to do this?'

Duo just shrugged; eyes fixed on the road rushing past them. He hadn't looked Wufei in the eyes yet. 'I'm not going to …..L2. I'm going to take a shuttle somewhere and then a connecting flight to Earth.'

'Will that work?' He knew Duo well enough to know that one of his panic attacks was imminent.

Duo gave him another shrug. 'Can't think of anything else. Glad you're here.'

'I swear, if Quatre has anything, anything at all, to do with this, I will personally strangle him until his eyes pop.' And he would make it slow and excruciatingly painful and he would love every second of it.

'He doesn't.' There was absolute, unshakable certainty in Duo's voice. 'He'd never do this to me. Never.' He nibbled at the already ragged end of his braid; always a bad sign. 'He knows too much about ….stuff. Shit you don't know.'

Wufei knew things, some things, about Duo's past. The implication that there was more was just sickening.

They'd been prisoners together, during the war. He'd lain awake listening to Duo's nightmares. When the guards had taken Duo out, and thrown him back, hours later, bleeding, Wufei had gathered that it wasn't the first time some of those things had happened.

Quatre had told him some things, after Duo's accident, while the two of them were starting to forge the first, tentative steps to friendship.

And then Duo had come to live with him, until he was well enough to travel to L4; one of Quatre's rare plans that hadn't quite worked out as intended. Of course, Quatre couldn't have known that Zechs would walk into their lives and disrupt everything.

That had been later, after he and Duo had become close.

Having Duo in his home had been hard at first. Having anyone in his carefully guarded sanctuary would have been a trial, really. Duo had tried so hard not to intrude, and Wufei had salved his conscience by reasoning that he probably wanted space to heal, that he had no particular desire to spend time in Wufei's company. Wufei had taken him in as a favour to Quatre, because by then he'd been unable to refuse the blond anything, and out of vague feelings of guilt.

Nothing had particularly predisposed him toward offering Duo friendship, but somewhere along the line they'd started to connect. Duo had desperately needed someone to be there for him. Wufei, alone and isolated and miserable at Preventers and missing Quatre more than he'd ever allow himself to admit, had needed someone in his life.

He'd dismissed the first newspaper articles as trash. Gundam Pilots were news, whether they were cast as saviours of the planet or potential destroyers. There was always some nonsense being printed about them.

He'd dismissed the articles, published a month or so after Duo had moved in with him, as a scurrilous attempt to sell a few more rags. The facts just weren't possible. Wufei, at the age of seventeen, had lost his home and family. He'd fought a war. He'd spent months working as a Preventer. He'd still been so very innocent about some things.

Then there had been reporters outside his door one morning, and Quatre seeking injunctions against the reprinting of certain facts, and a near suicidal Duo locked in his room.

Wufei had never possessed Heero's computer skills, but he was good enough. Good enough to pull up old Alliance records from L2 from the years before the war.

He'd been sick, several times, reading them. L2 had always been the 'lost colony' – the dumping ground for prisoners and misfits. The perfect playground for Alliance soldiers looking for fun because nothing was illegal there; not if you could pay.

He'd read, sickened, about a church that had been taken over by a small rebel faction, and the deaths of innocent people who'd gone there to attend a religious service. It had happened so long ago, been overshadowed by so many other deaths, the people consigned to obscurity and their god.

The file had been buried; the incident long forgotten. Only one other person had accessed it over the past few months. They'd been good at covering their tracks but Wufei had traced it to a server he knew Heero used. Of course. Always research. It made sense that he would want to know about his lover's past. He'd wondered if Heero had ever discussed it with Duo.

Wufei had found a small footnote at the end of one report that mentioned a survivor of the massacre. A young boy.

The Alliance had kept exhaustive records. Once he'd found the first trace of Duo, there had been much more.

He'd been prepared, in a way. He knew how the Alliance treated their prisoners. Subjects for interrogators to practice on; for scientists to use as human guinea pigs for experimental new procedures. The pretty ones were convenient playthings for any soldier who took a fancy to them. A perk of the L2 posting, apparently.

Duo Maxwell, who'd survived a massacre, had been eight years old, according to his first entry in the Alliance file.

Wufei had forced himself to read the things Duo had endured. At eight, Chang Wufei had been the cherished son of his clan; unbearably precocious and convinced the world centred around him. On Wufei's ninth birthday, Duo had been given electric shock treatments until he passed out. A clinical little footnote by the scientist observed the boy's remarkable stamina, making him an ideal subject for this type of experiment.

There had been water-boarding; something that had been illegal even before the colonies had been founded. Apparently an excellent method of torture, needing only the most basic equipment and most effective.

No wonder Duo had had a phobia about water.

The other things…were unspeakable. He'd been just a child.

The file on Maxwell, D. contained several short notes of satisfaction on services provided. Requests.

The file stopped, abruptly, in December 190. Two years.

Duo had survived that hell for two years and now it was plastered all over every tabloid in the universe. He'd always been the visible one; the one who'd been shown by the media during the war. For the first few months after the war, he'd pretty much been ignored by the press, unlike the rest of them. Even his relationship with Heero was rarely mentioned; the world conveniently ignoring him so Heero could be matched with Relena. Such a pretty little fairy tale.

For such an outgoing person, Duo guarded his privacy. He almost never talked about his past. He could talk for hours about life with the Sweepers, and he very occasionally mentioned the Maxwell Church, but that was all. It had almost killed him to have all his secrets put on paper, sold for a handful of change.

Of course, Quatre had known from the start. Not the details; but that things had happened that had been very bad. Trowa, who had such darkness in his own past, had probably guessed. And much later Wufei had found out that Duo had told Heero, the only person he'd ever told, before they'd become lovers, expecting Heero to reject him.

Wufei was the only one who hadn't known, who'd never made the effort to find out. But he'd still been the one who had to deal with Duo's break down, before Quatre had made it from L4.

Quatre. Gods. Everything in the universe, sometimes, seemed to start and end with Quatre Winner. He'd found the perfect university course for Wufei, and pulled strings so he could start in the middle of the year. He'd helped him find the perfect apartment and furnish it. He'd thrust Duo into his life. It had never actually been said, but he'd always known that Quatre had hoped the two of them would get together. It had probably appealed to Quatre's liking of symmetry. Wufei and Duo had both been hurt by Heero. Why couldn't they find happiness together? And because Quatre wasn't the perfect angel that some people thought, it would have been the perfect plan to hurt Heero.

Duo spent the drive to the port wrapped in silence and darkness. They had their own cabin on the ship; nothing luxurious but there were two long benches that could be converted into sleeping berths and a tiny bathroom.

Duo was going to have to be strapped in for take off, and in this mood, even the lightest restraints were going to be a problem. Wufei shot the flimsy lock home, reflecting that a five year old girl could probably open the door with a half decent kick. Still, it was a tiny measure of privacy.

Wufei ended up with Duo, still silent and submissive, in his lap, with the seat belt loosely around them both.

'Is this all right?' He'd no sooner asked the question that he berated himself for such stupidity. Things couldn't possibly be farther from all right.

'Yeah.' Duo's voice sounded slightly firmer, he even managed the faintest shadow of a grin.

Wufei was surprised until he thought about it, and then wasn't. Duo Maxwell had always been the strongest person he'd ever known. And he'd always been skilled at creating his own reality; maybe this would, somehow, work, if Duo could manage to blank out their destination.

'Y'know, maybe we shouldn't tell Heero about this?'

'Maybe. Or Zechs.'

Duo gave a little snort of something close to laughter, with an edge of nervousness to it. 'Oh, please. He'd love to watch this. Probably take photos.'

'He probably would, yes,' Wufei admitted. 'You know, when we get to …our destination, you can call Heero. I'm sure the other colonies are still able to communicate with Earth.'

'Yeah. That'll be nice. He must be worried sick. Him and Trowa.'

'I imagine so. Duo, I'm sorry it's not Heero who's here for you.'

'No, don't say that.' Duo twisted around to look at him. 'He couldn't do anything for me that you haven't done. I mean that, 'Fei. You're the best friend anyone in the universe had, ever.'

'No. I'm not.' Wufei felt a sudden surge of anguished guilt, six years old but still a sharp blade twisting in his gut. If Duo ever knew what he'd done, he would never, never want to see him again. 'You shouldn't say that. I haven't always been a very good friend to you.'

'Hey.' Duo reached up and traced the little line between Wufei's dark brows. 'Hey. Don't you dare say that shit. You're talking about you and Heero, right? You don't have to stress about that. It's no biggie. I always knew.'

Wufei swallowed hard. He couldn't believe they were, finally, having the conversation that he'd spent years avoiding. But anything was better, had to be better, for Duo to think about than where they were going. If he could just keep his friend focused on something, anything, they might get through this. And it meant he didn't have to think about Zechs, who really shouldn't be flying so soon after surgery, and it wasn't like Wufei trusted anything these revolutionaries promised. 'You always knew what?'

'That you guys had an affair after the War.' He said it quite matter-of-factly. 'It's OK. It was years ago. Water under the bridge.'

Wufei's world whirled, like a child's kaleidoscope. 'What? No, we didn't!'

Duo's expression, watching him, was equal parts bemused and curious and faintly irritated. 'Shit, did you guys really think I was that stupid? Of course, I knew! No offence, but it was pretty damn obvious. You were the one he spent most of his time with, the one he always ran to after we had a fight. He practically lived at your place, some weeks.'

'No! it wasn't like that at all. Duo, I swear to you, we never – nothing ever happened. No, that's not quite true. I kissed him, just once but…'

'You what?' Duo spat. 'You kissed my fucking boyfriend, Chang?'

Wufei blinked; he would never, if he had the whole of infinity to spend, puzzle out Duo Maxwell. 'You just told me you thought we'd had an affair. I thought you'd be glad to find out we didn't.'

'Huh. One thing to imagine something happening years ago; another thing for you actually to tell me straight out.'

'Duo, I'm sorry. I – just, I have absolutely no excuse. I can only say how sorry I am. I swear to you, it was just one kiss. I initiated it.'

'What happened?'

Wufei closed his eyes, briefly, remembering that day, his first kiss, and hastily opened them. 'It was the October after the war. Heero called me to say that you'd vanished; he was utterly panicking. We spent almost two days looking for you. In the end, I convinced him to go back to my house, for a couple of hours to rest. He didn't want to, but he fell asleep, making me promise to wake him up. And I did. I kissed him. I – I think he thought it was you at the start.'

'Sucks to be Heero,' Duo muttered. 'People flinging themselves into his mouth whenever he's not looking.'

'I – yes. I suppose so. I don't think he really knew what had happened; he apologised. I let him think that I'd, I don't know what he thought, that I'd tried to wake him and got too close and, well, I think he'd been dreaming about you. He was embarrassed, afterwards. Anyway. I'd always been….attracted, I suppose. I told myself it was just respect and admiration but there was always something else.'

'Yeah.' Duo gave him a weak grin. 'Sorry, but I kind of guessed that, back during the War. Then, after, you and Sally seemed to be pretty tight and I thought for a while that maybe you were bi or you'd just had some sort of crush during the War, and then you and Heero started hanging out all the time, and I thought, well, you know what I thought.'

'I was utterly dishonourable.' Confessions were supposed to be good for the soul. Cleansing. This felt the exact opposite. Perhaps some things were meant to be hidden. 'After the War, you were so good to me. You made me like a welcome guest in your home; even after I'd fought with Trowa and Quatre you tried to involve me in your life. I was so jealous of you, Duo. You had everything. A partner who adored you and a real home, and you were coping so well with things, while I was falling apart.'

'Coping?' Duo asked harshly. 'That's a joke. Seriously. I was so far from fucking coping. I was living in a dreamworld, and doing everything thing I could to shut out reality.'

'I didn't know that then. For the first couple of months after the war, you and Heero seemed like the perfect couple. I envied you both so much. When things started to go wrong between, and Heero turned to me, I tried to convince myself that I was the one he should be with; that I could make him happy. In my mind, I built up the fact that we'd kissed, that I'd kissed him, into something romantic, something meaningful. I - practically threw myself at him, a few weeks later, after a mission. He was utterly furious. I said things about you, that you were a liability and a disaster and that you'd only end up destroying his life, the way you were trying to destroy your own.' He was powerless to stop, now that he'd started. Duo might as well know all of it; all of what his supposed friend had done.

'I did try to apologise. I called him the next day. He said he accepted it, but I almost never saw him after that. He made sure we were never partnered together again. It seemed a fitting punishment for what I'd done; that he was determined to shut me out of his life.'

'Shit, 'Fei, that sucks.' Duo's eyes, holding his, held only compassion. 'He can be such a jerk sometimes. I always wondered what happened between you guys and he'd never tell me.' He shrugged. 'I never really pressed that hard to get him to say. Scared of what might come out. I was thrilled for a while when he dropped you; then I realised he missed you. That he'd needed whatever it was he got from you. Once you weren't around any more, things got even worse between us.'

'If you believed that we'd had an affair, why did you never say anything?' Duo, back then, hadn't exactly been the sort to hide his feelings.

Duo shrugged. 'You made him happy. I just stressed him out, I think. Then he'd go off with you for a bit, and he'd come back calm and like he'd got a handle on things. He used to love spending time at your place. He always said it was so peaceful.' His mouth twisted. 'Not like life with me, I guess. Fuck, it's not like I blamed him. At that point, I'd probably have cheated on myself if I could have. I was so screwed up back then. And God, I was so fucking scared he'd leave me. That he'd just get sick of my shit and walk out.'

Wufei shook his head. 'He adored you. There was nothing, nothing, he wouldn't have done for you!'

'I didn't exactly make it easy for him.' His voice choked slightly. 'He told me once he used to dread coming home to me, because he didn't know whether I'd be drunk or stoned or pretending that everything was fine when I was falling apart. Or if I'd be there at all, or wrapped around a tree, or dead in a bar after picking a fight with the wrong guy. If I'd been brave enough, I'd have let him go, or pushed him away 'til he couldn't take it any more. Instead, I took total advantage of him. You know what he's like. No way would he walk out on me while I was like that.'

'He did everything he could,' Wufei said slowly. 'Duo, I'm so sorry. You have no idea how much I've been blaming myself.'

'Not your fault.' Duo took his chin and forced Wufei to look at him. 'If anything, you probably kept us together for longer, just giving Heero a bit of an escape sometimes. And I know you looked out for him on missions, and that you and Sally helped him cover stuff up.'

'I was never sure if you knew about that.'

Duo snorted. 'I lived with Heero, remember? Mr. Master Hacker? I was always tapping into Preventer files. I knew that bitch Une was agreeing to 'lose' files of stuff I'd done, in exchange for Heero taking any and every mission that came up. I used to think he'd be better off with you, but I couldn't ever bring myself to make him leave.'

'You're the one he's always wanted to be with. When he and I spent time together, he talked about you all the time. And Duo, I am so very sorry.'

'It's OK.' Duo yawned suddenly and then looked surprised, giving his head a little shake. In this mood, it would not be a good thing for him to fall asleep. 'Shit, pinch me if I start getting drowsy, will you? 'Fei, stop beating yourself up over this. It's not like I've never smooched Zechsy. Just – I'd rather you didn't do it again.'

'Of course not.'

Duo rubbed the bridge of his nose. 'I'm starting to get a killer headache. The air in here must be stale or something. Does Zechs know about you and Heero?'

'Yes. But I only told him a few days ago. When we were in Florence. He asked why I had such a problem with Heero.' Wufei smothered a yawn of his own, dashing one hand across his eyes. This was odd; there was no way in the universe he should be sleepy right now. And he was starting to feel a dim thudding inside his own skull. Hardly a surprise in the circumstances.

Duo gave in to a massive yawn, this time letting his eyelids droop, and his head fall onto Wufei's shoulder. They really shouldn't fall asleep, Wufei thought vaguely. Duo would only have nightmares, and they needed to be conscious. To be in some sort of control.

Wufei came to first, which was good because it meant he was already awake when Duo started to stir. They hadn't been tied up; it presumably wasn't necessary. The door was locked. Very solid, when he'd put a shoulder to it. The odd thing, it wasn't that much of a surprise. He'd known that something was going to happen. It had all been far too carefully orchestrated. Now the threat was reality, they could deal with it.

Duo's eyes, when they opened, were slightly disorientated, snapping into focus as he took in their surroundings.

'How?'

Wufei's mouth was still dry from whatever they'd been breathing earlier. There was a jug of water on the table and two glasses. He hadn't dared to touch it.

'We were in an airlocked cabin. I imagine it was some sort of gas. I have an awful headache.'

Duo nodded, pulling himself carefully upright and wincing slightly. 'Different ship.'

Wufei nodded. The engine vibrations were different; they weren't on that cumbersome cargo transport any more. 'Are you all right?'

'Think so. My skull's splitting. How long were we out?'

'I don't know. They took your watch.' They'd left everything else, so far as he could tell. But someone had gone through his wallet. They'd left the important thing. He still had the band of black jade encircling his left finger. He twisted it around and looked up to see Duo watching him.

'It's OK. If I had one of those, I'd touch it all the time too.' Duo didn't look different; somehow he felt it. Shinigami, instead of Duo Maxwell. Wufei could almost hear him trying to work things out. Focused in a way that even Heero could only have dreamt of. Shinigami on a mission.

Then he blinked and was Duo again. 'This is totally shitty. 'Fei, I'm sorry. You shouldn't be here. Whoever did this wanted me. Can't imagine the fuck why.'

Wufei nodded, moving to sit closer, shifting Duo's head into his lap. They probably needed Shinigami right now, more than Duo, but Shinigami scared him and always had.

'Status, 05?'

'Not so good. I have no idea what's going on.'

'Me neither.' Duo's mouth twisted. 'I thought that maybe they were after you, Zechs' fiancé and all, but it has to be me. No one could have known you'd decide to come with me, instead of going to Sanque. If it had been you they wanted, they'd have had to change their plans pretty damn quick.'

Quatre might have, Wufei thought, but didn't say it. Duo could work that one out on his own.

There was a thin burst of static; and then a voice, filing the little cabin.

'Maxwell. Mr. Irving wants to see you. Go to the door; hands on your head. You'll be escorted out. Don't even think about trying anything.'

Irving? Wufei glanced over at Duo, who was wearing a neverheardofhiminmylife look of incomprehension.

'Fuck you.'

The voice dropped, threaded with malicious amusement. 'Oh, that won't be on the agenda. But you may possibly reverse it. My employer is very generous with his leftovers, when he's done with them. Go to the door. Now.'

'Make me.' He was trying so hard to sound brave, that Wufei's heart ached.

'Now!' The sudden command made them both jump. 'Or you won't like our method of persuading you. Mr Irving isn't partial to Asians, but most of his employees aren't nearly so fussy. Will you allow your friend to be treated like that?'

'Oh, fuck.' Duo said it very softly, standing up. His hand, touching Wufei's shoulder briefly, shook. 'Don't worry. It's OK. I can handle this.'