Leo dug through his stuff until he found the jersey. Man U, one of the greatest soccer clubs in the world. Leo and his family had flown to England to visit his uncle who was living there for work. He still remembered going to the game, every play. He remembered telling his uncle that one day he was going to come back and play for the team. His uncle had bought him the jersey as both a souvenir and a reminder.
When he had his first surgery, back before they were forced to take his whole leg, that day had been his perfect moment.
Now it was more like a cloak of strength. Stupid and childish but even after everything Leo felt invincible when he put it on. And he needed to feel that because he was about to face a lion. No not a lion, more like a pack of really hungry hyenas.
It wasn't how he wanted to do it but he'd quickly figured out that the only way he was going to pull this off was if he had a captive audience. If Jordi could walk away it was no good. And there was only one place Jordi would be trapped.
Leo took a deep breath and walked into the room. He expected one of the nurses to stop him but they were preoccupied with their duties.
He wasn't all that surprised to find the others were there also. Of course they would be. They wouldn't let Jordi sit down there all alone. At least one of them would be there.
"Jordi." Leo walked up. They ignored him.
"Okay, fine. Don't look at me. Don't talk to me. Pretend like I'm not here. But I've got something to say and this time I'm saying it. I'm not leaving until I do and if you guys want to ask like two year olds with this silent treatment BS, go for it.
"I'm really pissed at you, Jordi. You're really being a jerk. And you need someone to tell you that. I thought we were friends. I tried to be a friend. A real friend, not a fake one. Not a friend at school who forgets about you after the bell rings kind of friend. I wasn't just pretending so I wouldn't look like a tool after I said that whole loser thing. I really tried to be there. I meant what I said up on the roof. I mean what I said in our room that night.
"I'm not saying I was perfect, but I tried to be honest. You weren't. You had all this shit up in your head and you didn't say it. You thought I was being a complete ass and you didn't say anything. And you're right, I was. Everything you said, it was true. I was being an ass. I was jealous. I saw everyone acting the same way with you that they acted with me and I didn't like it. Especially Emma. Emma is sweet and kind and doesn't like anyone to feel lost, or sad or just bad. She doesn't like anyone to think that they don't matter or that they are just getting blown around in a tornado with no anchor. Which is fully cause that's probably exactly how she feels and she can't figure out any other way to feel safe than to starve herself which is messed up seriously. But that she tries to make everyone else feel okay is also beautiful. Even if the only thing she can think of a hug or just sitting next to you or a hand on your shoulder. It's hard not to be drawn to that like a moth to a flame. It's hard not to want that.
"I had it and I liked it and I screwed up and let her fly away. And then I saw her acting exactly the same way with you and it hit me really hard because I realized she wasn't acting that way because of me, but because that's just the way she is. And when I realized that I felt really crappy. And yeah, okay, I was used to being the top dog, the guy that gets all the attention. I was like that at school, I was like that here. And suddenly you're getting all the attention. Everyone wants to make you feel better and it's totally douchy that I was jealous of you because everyone was ignoring me when you were getting the attention cause you were sick. I'm the one person who knows just how crap ass you were feeling. I'm the one person who knows just how scary it gets when you can't even control your own body to stop shaking all the time, or puking all the time, when you feel hot and cold all at once and you can't tell if you are awake or dreaming and you just want the nightmare to stop. I should have been the one that was there for you not being annoyed that everyone else is.
"I was a douche, I was a total asshat, I was a ball sack of Mount Rushmore level huge. And I should have been able to count on you, all of you to tell me that. Real friends call each other out on bullshit. Real friends know that they can be totally honest and yeah someone might be mad at you for being honest and not talk to you for a few days, but eventually it all works out in the end. Real friends don't hold back until they are so wacked out sick it's like getting someone crazy drunk and they just let it all out.
"I'm really sorry I was such a shit. I'm sorry that I was mad at you for all this crap that isn't your fault. I'm sorry that I was mad at Ruben and Emma and everyone for trying to help you and make you feel better especially after your mom pulled a runner. I'm even sorry that your mom left and ditched you. And I'm seriously sorry that I didn't see that you were messed up and that I hit you.
"But I'm also mad that you weren't honest with me. And you still aren't. And you might not consider me your friend, you might not want me as a friend. But I do. Enough that I'm calling you out for being a jerk. Enough that I forgive you for it, too."
Leo reached under his shirt and pulled off his wrist band. He dropped it in Jordi's lap and walked out without saying a word. He'd said his peace. And whatever happened, happened.
The rest of the afternoon went quickly. Leo went to physical therapy and endured being nagged at for being late. He ate dinner alone in his room. Afterwards, he went down to the classroom to work on his paper. He was there so late that one of the nurses had to tell him it was after his bed time.
The lights were out in his room. Not that it mattered, Leo knew the layout with his eyes closed. So he was surprised when he bumped into something just inside the door. He heard a moan and realized it was a bed.
"Jordi?" Leo carefully edged his way around the bed. Jordi was curled up in the bed in a restless sleep. Leo picked up the blanket that had fallen off and carefully tucked it around the other boy. As he climbed into his own bed he felt something on his pillow. With a smile, Leo slipped the wrist band back on his arm. He laid down and within minutes was asleep.