LIFE WITH THE PONDS IS LIKE THIS

THE (BELATED) STAG DO

PART 2

The man and his friend were still bothering Amy and Kate as they partied in the club. The man with the white teeth and open shirt in particular was being a pain and getting right in Amy's face. She'd been putting up with him for some time, but finally she'd had enough.
"Come on sugar, I'm sure your hubby won't mind…" grinned the man suggestively as he put his hand on Amy's shoulder. Amy didn't like this one iota and reached for her drink and just threw it at him before cursing loudly.
"Come on Kate, we're going." she said as Kate gulped down her drink and followed. She soon caught up with Amy who was already near the exit door of the club, her long legs meaning strides were much further for her.
"Men can be idiots Amy." said Kate as she tried to comfort her friend.
"I know, I just wish they'd listen. Rory's the only one that ever does." huffed Amy as she tried to calm down. "Do you want to have a drink at home?" she then asked. "At least we won't have to deal with idiots like him anymore." Kate agreed and as they walked off, Kate looked at her phone. In all, she had 34 missed calls and 12 messages to look through.
"Oh," she mumbled. "I'll have a look in the morning."

Somehow Rory had managed to make his way to the TARDIS pool with the Doctor's clothes in his hands. He could hear the Doctor sloshing about in the water loudly; it was as if the time lord wasn't drunk at all. Perhaps having a swim would clear Rory's mind too? He was tempted and as the Doctor saw him, he waved manically to his friend.
"Ah, you brought my clothes, thanks Rory!" called over the Doctor.
"What exactly are you swimming in?" Rory then wondered. He hadn't quite seen what the Doctor was wearing when he ran off into the depths of the TARDIS.
"I think it's my pants," replied the Doctor as he looked at himself. "Yes, it's definitely them. No wonder I feel soggier than normal."
"You do own swimming trunks don't you?" asked Rory, although he was sure he'd seen the Doctor in some before.
"Yes, but there somewhere where I've forgotten about them." came the response.
"Where's that?"
"Oldham…" answered the time lord dismissively. "I'm never swimming there again!" he added while splashing about like a toddler. "Come on Rory, a swim will help you!" he then called. After some dithering, Rory agreed and put the Doctor's clothes aside before beginning to take off his shirt. As he did it though, Rory began to feel dizzy, he suspected it was another side effect of the additive, and he quickly went to sit down on a seat by the side of the pool.
"Sorry," he said to the Doctor. "I don't know what's happening. Oh god, that thing in the drink wasn't deadly was it?"
"Only to people born before 1700 and you weren't." answered the Doctor as he began to swim lengths.
"I'm over 2,000 years old though." pointed out Rory.
"Technically you are, yes. But you're not Rory. You're a human male in his thirties. The amount of chest hair confirms it."
"Why are you looking at my chest hair?" Rory asked nervously as he instinctively tried to cover up, but knew it wasn't worthwhile in front of the Doctor. The time lord had seen Rory naked and vice versa - being without a shirt was nothing compared to that.
"I wasn't looking," said the Doctor. "I was observing." he added as climbed out of pool, water dripping everywhere. "You're a human Rory, a good human. A good human with chest hair."
"Can we change the topic now?" asked Rory as his dizziness began to fade. He was feeling better now, it was obviously only something temporary. The Doctor agreed to change topics and after grabbing a towel, he made his way back into the TARDIS corridors.
"I'll be at the console if you need me. The acoustics for music are much better in there." he said before whistling on his way. For Rory, he was again unsure what was happening.

Kate looked in the fridge and saw a half drunk bottle of red wine in there. She picked it out and showed it to Amy.
"It'll do." said Amy as she took off her high heels and fell onto the sofa. Kate brought over the bottle and just fell onto the sofa in a similar manner to Amy. There was a cube on the table next to them and Kate just eyed it up.
"They are oddly beautiful aren't they?" she asked to Amy.
"Hmmm," agreed Amy as she sipped the wine. "The Doctor isn't sure what to make of them."
"None of us do," admitted Kate. "If the Doctor doesn't know, then what hope do we have?"
"I wonder how they're getting on anyway?" wondered Amy as she then got out her phone. She rang Rory's number but it went straight to answer phone. "Oh well…" she sighed. "They'll be fine."

By the time Rory had got back to the main console area of the TARDIS, he could hear music blaring out loudly. It had been on for some time and once the centre column was in view, he could see the Doctor and two other people there. Rory immediately thought one of them was Amy. He was still without a shirt and tried to cover up for no reason in particular.
"Amy!" he said loudly in embarrassment. The Doctor looked to him.
"Amy's not here Rory." said the Doctor, who was still in just his pants. "I don't know where she is, but this is Enid. She's very nice." he continued in a slurring way, the effects now seemingly returning to him.
"And who's he?"
"Siggy…" smiled the Doctor. The other person, a man, waved at Rory. As he came down the stairs, Rory's eyes focused clearly and he could see who the people were.
"Oh my god…" he said in shock. "No way, that's not who I think it is, is it?"
"Rory, go on, shake hands. It's only Sigmund Freud." smiled the Doctor with big grin etched on his face. Rory couldn't believe it. Sigmund Freud, THE Sigmund Freud was in front of him and he wasn't dressed properly. Sigmund just smiled and put his hand out to Rory. Rory shook hands, but was still in shock. The lady who he thought was Amy then introduced herself.
"Enid, Enid Blyton." she said with a smile. Rory was just silent in surprise. Was he dreaming? He sort of hoped so…

It had gone midnight and Amy and Kate had been chatting for ages. Amy had tried repeatedly to ring Rory but his phone wasn't changing from answer phone at all. She was beginning to think that he was home and was asleep.
"I've not checked the room, have I?" she said to herself. "God, I can be dumb sometimes." She quickly went upstairs and looked in hers and Rory's room, but no-one was in the bed. She checked the spare room, the one that had become the Doctor's but again there was no-one there. Through the window on the spare room she could see the TARDIS in the dark of the night. It had a lovely look about it at this time of night and Amy thought that if the Doctor and Rory were anywhere, it was going to be there. She quickly came downstairs and found that Kate had fallen asleep in the meantime on the sofa. Her phone was bleeping, but it wasn't stirring her, and Amy thought not to wake her up either. "Come on Doctor, Rory." she muttered to herself as she went outdoors. There was a chill in the air but it didn't bother her. Then, Amy listened closely and for the first time she could hear a faint thudding of music coming from inside the time machine. She smiled. "They're here." she said under her breath. She was tempted to knock on the door but didn't. She put her head up against it and could hear the faint rhythm of a familiar song. Curious, Amy tried to open the TARDIS door as quietly as she could. It didn't creak but as soon as the door opened, the music blared out. It was the Macarena, a song that meant everything to her and Rory. It wasn't the song that surprised Amy though, it was what she was seeing in front of her. On the console room glass floor were the Doctor and Rory and two other people doing the Macarena in unison. For whatever reason the Doctor had only some pants on and Rory was missing a shirt, but Amy was just puzzled. No-one had seen her.
"Ay Macarena!" shouted the Doctor hoarsely as he completed the moves before turning in the direction of Amy. He came to a stop as did Rory.
"Amy!" he cried before trying to cover himself up.
"What the hell?" said Amy. "Who are they?" she then asked at the other two people who were still dancing along, but no longer in unison.
"Sigmund Freud…" said the Doctor nervously.
"And Enid Blyton." added Rory.
"Doing the Macarena?" asked Amy who was clearly confused.
"Yeah, I taught them…" said the Doctor. "You can stop now Siggy, Enid…" the time lord then said to his friends. Sigmund and Enid stopped as requested and fell silent. Amy was silent too. Everyone was silent. The only noise in the TARDIS was the continual tune of the Macarena blaring out. It was awkward to say the least.
"I'll leave you two to tidy up." said Amy eventually to break the silence.
"Are you cross?" asked Rory nervously.
"No, just freaked out…" came his wife's response before she headed back outside the TARDIS. Amy really didn't understand what she'd just seen.

Within an hour, Sigmund and Enid had been returned to their time zones – the Doctor having travelled and picked them up without Rory even knowing; the additive making things seem very odd indeed. It was at this point Rory thought it was best anything else the Doctor had planned for his stag do would now not happen.
"Spoilsport," said the Doctor. "I'd been working out specially for that cake moment again."
"I really don't want you stripping for me Doctor, not even when I'm very drunk." said Rory as he put his shirt back on. The Doctor was still in his pants and wanted to keep dancing, but knew to respect Rory's wishes. He looked at the monitor on the TARDIS and just smiled. There was a picture of him and Rory on it, but he couldn't remember it being taken.
"When did we do this?" the Doctor asked as he span the monitor towards Rory.
"I really don't know. I can't remember. When were we wearing sombreros?"
"Why was I naked?" asked the Doctor.
"Why I am kissing you on the cheek?" Rory then pondered. The pair of them then looked even closer at the picture.
"What's Sigmund doing?" they both asked in unison. The drink additive had really made them forget many things, but they could still remember several events of the night: the nightclub, the Doctor kissing Rory, the swim, the Macarena. Things had happened in between then, but they really didn't know what.
"It's a bit worrying to think what we could have been up to, isn't it Doctor?" Rory asked. The Doctor just smiled back.
"If we'd have done something really odd, we'd have remembered." he said. "I'll finish up Rory, you go back to Amy."
"Are you sure you'll be fine?"
"Yeah, go on. It's been a night to remember…in parts."
"I won't forget this stag do." Rory admitted. "However much I try," he then joked before heading to the TARDIS doors. The Doctor smiled and continued to clear up any mess that had been left on the floor. In the reflection of the time column though, he noticed something on his back.
"What…" he said to himself. "Wow…" he then said as he looked at it once more. On the Doctor's back was a tattoo. It was one of a cube and it had the letter D under it. The Doctor smiled, but he was unsure whether it was a good smile or a nervous one. Then, a memory came flooding back to him. It was one of him and Rory having tattoos on their back. "Well, if that's mine…then…" but before the Doctor could finish what he was saying, Rory's voice was heard. It was loud scream of the Doctor's name. "Oh dear…" mumbled the Doctor. "Ah…"