Chapter 8 - I Need A Little Time
The Doctor and Clara had been moving through the bowels of the TARDIS for several minutes and the school teacher was growing more impatient with each passing moment. The Time Lady had rejected conducting their long overdue talk in the library, both of the kitchens they had come across and the small games room. To Clara, it looks like The Doctor was trying to put off their talk for as long as possible. The raven haired alien woman had been largely silent during her apparent aimless search. She occasionally stole a quick look at her companion but her expression was largely unreadable. It wasn't filling Clara with much confidence for the conversation that was to come. Eventually The Time Lady paused in front of a large steel door with some strange circular symbols, "Here we are", The Doctor declared. She gave the heavy door a shove and it swung open with a loud creaking noise.
Behind the door were a number of other smalls doors but each one was a different design, "What am I meant to be looking at Doctor?" Clara asked, "This just looks like every other corridor on the ship". The brunette noticed that the Time Lady was looking a little uncomfortable standing in this corridor. It surprised her as the whole point of them wondering around the TARDIS was to find somewhere relaxing to talk. The awkwardness of the situation was getting to Clara and she shuffled on the spot, wrapping her arms around her body.
Despite what some of her past companions thought, The Doctor was acutely aware of human emotion and she knew how uncomfortable Clara was feeling. This area of the TARDIS was extremely important to the Time Lady and only a select few had ever entered this corridor. "Ah but this one is special", The Doctor turned on the spot and opened her arms, "Clara Oswald, welcome to the TARDIS archive". The Doctor gave the petite brunette a big smile, sharing this with Clara was like sharing a small piece of herself with her companion.
Clara didn't realise the importance of the archive to The Doctor until she started examining some of the door. Each of them had a different name printed on them, there was a dark blue, almost black door with the word 'Ace' standing next to a light pink door with the name 'Rose', "When a companion leaves, the TARDIS archives their old bedroom", The Doctor added, "it's her way of remembering everyone who's stayed onboard over the years". The Time Lady implied it was the TARDIS who controlled the archive but actually it was her. Even after her companions left, The Doctor wanted to keep something to remind her about the adventures they shared. To her immense regret, she didn't visit this area often. The memories of her past should have filled her with happiness but instead they often left the Time Lady feeling empty and alone.
Clara continued to inspect the doors and recognised some of the names, 'Jack', 'Martha', 'The Ponds', 'Sarah', "Did you save all of them?" Clara stated as she brushed her hand against a stone effect door.
"Most of them", The Doctor replied, "I had to eject Romana's room towards the end of my fourth life". She chuckled softly, "She wasn't impressed when I told her", the Time Lady paused and gazed towards the ground, "I would've like to have kept that one". Memories of the other Time Lady that travelled in the TARDIS flooded into her mind. Romana was the one that she had the closest relationship of anyone and The Doctor would've loved to revisit her time with the former President of Gallifrey but sadly, that was impossible. The Doctor shook herself out of her revelry and touched the door that Clara was standing next to, "Now this room belonged to Nyssa, she was a noble woman from the planet Traken, I could tell you some stories about the adventures I got into with her, Adric and Tegan".
"This is a lovely trip down memory lane Doctor", Clara said softly, she could see that the Time Lady was getting lost in her memories. It might be a little selfish of her but she wanted The Doctor's focus purely on her right now, "I thought we were here to talk", she added.
"To understand the future, first you must understand the past", The Doctor stated and continued to walk down the corridor. She paused at one room that had similar circular patterns to the archive room and patted it a couple of times. Clara was about to ask why he did that but the Time Lady's voice prevented her from vocalising her question, "I think this one will do nicely", she stated and stepped inside.
Clara followed The Doctor's lead and stepped through the archway. She was suddenly hit with a wave of familiarity, "This is my room", Clara gasped, "this has been moved to the archive already?" Clara's room was a perfect replica of the bedroom of her London flat. The room was dominated by a king sized bed with crisp white sheets. The walls were a pale orange colour that gave a little warmth to the room. There were several bookshelves on one wall that were lined with Clara's favourite books. The bedside cabinet even had some homework that she had taken onto the TARDIS to mark during the breaks between their adventures.
"Part of the TARDIS's remodelling process", The Doctor tried to reassure the brunette, "you'll get an entirely new room anyway".
As The Doctor plopped herself down on the bed, Clara froze at the Time Lady's words. This was the moment she was dreading, "Doctor, that's something I think we need to talk about", she sighed.
"Didn't you like the colour of your old room", The Doctor indicated to the pale orange walls, "you can pick whatever colour you want this time". Clara folded her arms across her chest and looked at the floor. It didn't take a genius to work out what was on her mind, "You're not coming are you?" she said softly. All of The Doctor's greatest fears rose to the surface, she had lost too many companions over the centuries. She didn't want to add Clara to that list, she had barely begun to get to know the school teacher.
"I don't know", Clara sat down next to The Doctor but kept her gaze away from the raven haired woman, "I don't think you know what it was like for me when you died", she continued, "I sat for hours and watched that funeral pyre burn. It's taken these last few weeks for me to come to terms with that and then you just breeze back in without a proper explanation and expect to pick up like nothing happened". That was one of two major sticking points for Clara, the lack of consideration from the Time Lady. The Doctor really didn't understand the pain that she had gone through firstly on Trezalore and then at the Time Lady's funeral pyre. From what she had seen so far, The Doctor wasn't in a hurry to understand either.
"I thought you would be pleased to see me", The Doctor said with a defensive tone, her head angled slightly towards the brunette. Frustration was building inside the Time Lady, this conversation wasn't going in the direction she envisioned.
Clara laughed to herself, "And then they're this attitude of yours", she shook her head, "one minute you're happy and the next you're biting people's heads off. It's like riding a bloody rollercoaster with you now". The second sticking point for Clara, if The Doctor was rude all the time in this incarnation she could deal with that. She wouldn't be overly happy but she would learn to accept the change. It was the inconsistency that was getting to her and she wasn't sure if she wanted to.
"New body, new rules", The Doctor snapped but she instantly regretted her harsh tone, "a little bit like that I'm guessing". She slapped her legs a couple of times and drummed her fingers, "Alright I'm going to lay everything on the table", she began, "my previous self wasn't your boyfriend and I have no intension of changing that". The school teacher was about to offer a rebuttal but the Time Lady cut her off, "Yes, this new incarnation is a little bit impatient and will probably breeze in like a hurricane but that's something we're both going to have to live with". Possibly for the first time today, this slightly rude outburst had been carefully considered by The Doctor. It pained her to be so blunt with Clara but she didn't want the school teacher to make such an important decision without knowing exactly what she was letting herself in for.
Silence descended on the room for a few moments as Clara absorbed the Time Lady's words. She gazed down towards her boots before looking directly at The Doctor, "I joined the previous Doctor because he needed saving from himself but this new you", she paused before adding, "I think I need to be there to save the universe from you". The Doctor looked slightly taken back by her friend's words, that wasn't the response she was expecting, "I'm not talking saving the universe from you in an evil way but more protecting people from you at their most vulnerable time", Clara added.
The Time Lady nodded slowly, "I always wondered if my companions saw themselves as my carer", she sighed. Her companions words had struck deeply into the Time Lady's hearts. Was she really that heartless towards everyone's feelings? "Clara, I can't think of anyone I'd rather travel the universe with", she gazed at the brunette with a pleading look, "what do you say, will you give this new me a chance?"
Clara thought about this for a couple of moments before responding, "I need some time to process everything", she declared, "come back in a week and I'll have an answer for you".
"A week?" The Doctor asked with a deflated tone, "it was the following day last time".
"I know but that was before all of this happened", Clara sighed, "please Doctor, just give me a week, that's all I'm asking".
The Doctor looked slightly dejected but nodded in acknowledgement, "Alright, that gives me time to think of somewhere awesome to take you".
"Thank you Doctor", the school teacher stood up slowly, "I'll make my own way out". Clara straightened out her skirt and exited her old room without taking a second glance. She hurried through the corridors before she could change her mind. She desperately wanted to say yes to The Doctor but her brain was overloaded at the moment. The Doctor wasn't dead but had somehow been reborn into a new body, a female body at that. She had overheard Jack say that The Doctor's personality was still settling after her regeneration. Perhaps having a quick break from each other would give everything time to settle down.
She arrived back in the console room and took a look around. The steampunk inspired console room summed up the Time Lady perfectly, objects from the past being used to create something for the future. The walkway over the seemingly infinite chasm was some kind of metaphor for The Doctor now, the leap of faith that was needed before entering the TARDIS. Clara was willing to take that leap but she needed some time to work up enough courage before committing.
Clara exited the TARDIS and closed the door behind her, the sun was beginning to set so she pulled her jacket tighter around her body. She took several paces away from the TARDIS and was nearly out the courtyard when a phone began to ring. It took her a few moments to realise the sound was coming from her pocket. A small smile appeared on her face, at some point The Doctor must've slipped the replacement into her pocket.
The brunette looked at the display, the number was withheld so she couldn't tell who was calling. She slid her finger across the screen and placed the device up to her ear, "Hello", she answered.
"Hello Clara", the school teacher froze at the sound of that voice, it was the previous Doctor's, "this call probably comes as a bit of shock".
"Yeah you could say that", Clara replied and swallowed deepily, "how are you doing that?"
"Timey wimey Clara", The Doctor chuckled, "I'm making this call whilst you're out on the balcony speaking with the Time Lords".
Clara frowned slightly, "You knew", she whispered, "you told me you wouldn't regenerate, you knew that you would come back", she shook her head, "you utter bastard", she added, her voice breaking with emotion. The Doctor knew all alone that he would be reborn and he had allowed her to go through all that pain without telling her.
"That's a little harsh", The Doctor recoiled at her tone, "I had a contingency plan in place but I couldn't tell anyone about it. If I revealed my plan too early then everything would've been ruined".
"Plan, what plan", Clara asked, hurt that The Doctor would keep something this big from her.
"Sorry Clara, spoilers", The Doctor stated, "my new self will tell you when they're ready". There was silence on the line before The Doctor spoke again, "Give the new Doctor all the support you can, I trust them more than anyone else in the universe".
Clara looked towards the sky, "But she's so different than you".
There was silence for a couple of seconds before The Doctor answered, "She? Well that really is different. Tell me am I ginger now, actually no don't tell me, I want it to be a surprise when the moment comes". Clara let out a hollow laugh, she missed the rambling of the old Doctor already, "Have faith in the new Doctor, this is new for her as well".
The sound of the TARDIS taking off stopped the conversation as Clara watched the machine dematerialise, "Little late for that Doctor, she's already gone. I asked her to come back for me in a week's time".
"And I'm sure she will", The Doctor replied, "I've got to go, I'm already breaking a number of rules by making this call. Goodbye Clara".
The phone line went dead, leaving Clara to whisper, "Goodbye Doctor", to herself. She stared at the phone for a couple of seconds before placing it back into her pocket. Rather than reassure her, that call from the previous Doctor had only made her more confused. He knew that his life would continue on after Trenzalore but he never said anything to her. The current Doctor hadn't said anything to her either. She had been willing to continue her travels after this short break but now she really wasn't sure. It looked like there was another awkward conversation between her and The Doctor coming up. She didn't need to be a Time Lady to see that.
As Clara left the courtyard at UNIT Headquarters, she didn't notice someone standing in the doorway of the nearby building. Winifred McQueen had watched the TARDIS dematerialise with a confused expression on her face. Her gaze was almost fixed on the spot where it had been standing and she remained in that position until Clara walked past her. She ducked into the doorway to avoid detection before turning around and walking back into the building, her face still an expressionless mask.