(This is my first attempt at a story, so bear with me. This is my story of Nikki and Helen in a completely different atmosphere. I wanted to write something dark with mystery, and at the same time keep its element of humour, love, friendship. Note: there might be some heavy content in here and I am by no means an expert on what I write as some things might not be accurate. I do hope all those who have come to read my story will enjoy it as much as I enjoy writing. For those who have read my story already, might notice I have changed a few things here and there as I decided to go through the chapters again and made some changes. I do not own any of these characters as they belong to Bad Girls.)
Never Forgotten
Chapter 1
Nikki Wade closed her books and breathed air into her lungs as she stretched her legs. Her exams were coming to an end and she couldn't wait for the summer. She was planning a trip with Barbara, her godmother to explore Europe before she started University. Of course, for Nikki, learning the material was not a problem, it was her lack of focus and attention. She was always daydreaming about ancient times. She was fascinated about ancient aliens and how she believed they played a part in human evolution. Everyone expected her to study in the field of science. Although she could excel at anything she did, and set her sights on being a scientist, there was another field that Nikki was intrigued about; Psychology and Brain Science. Nikki rubbed at her aching eyes with the palm of her hand, confident that her future would be an exciting adventure. She looked down at her watch and rolled her eyes in despair. She spent the entire afternoon and evening in the library without eating as much. She realised suddenly that she was hungry; starving. Another sigh escaped Nikki's throat when she thought about her parents now that her final year at College was coming to an end. Nikki attended a Private Six Form College, a magnificent 120-acre parkland site, North West London for 13-18 year olds. The students were housed in spacious four dorm buildings, and were afforded all the riches can buy. Unlike most of the students, Nikki was very humble and didn't allow herself the trapping of the rich and snobbery. As a young child Nikki had always wanted to help people. She thought she could change the world. She wanted to make an impact on the environment and human suffering. She detested how humans were destroying the Earth and how people reacted towards each other. There was too much suffering in the world and the injustice did not sit well with Nikki. But she was only one human and how much could she really change. But she was going to try. At least she could enjoy the rest of summer holiday before she started University and a new chapter in her young life. Nikki turned her head around when she felt a warm hand on her shoulder.
"Hi," a warm voice spoke. "You're Nikki? Are you by chance heading back to the dorm?" A smiling face looked at Nikki. Her eyes were clear as the blue sky.
"Yes, I'm Nikki Wade." She said smiling, standing up to offer her hand to the smiling girl in front of her. "You're Trisha." Nikki said, still holding her hand. Her faced blush and then she slowly released the girl's hand.
The girl smiled, sensing Nikki's embarrassment. "Trisha Harris. I'm on the fourth building and I was wondering if I could tag along with you if you're heading back that direction. It's late, and I hate walking alone by myself, as I really don't like the darkness." Trisha said nervously, looking down at the floor.
"Sure, don't mind company." Nikki said grinning as she gathered up her belonging. Trisha Harris was every blokes dream: tall, blond, 105 pounds, and popular. Trisha did what all-popular female students did; dated the most popular and rich bloke. Nikki envied her, but it was an envious hormonal lust. Nikki was attractive herself, and underneath the hard exterior shell and attitude, was a strong, independent girl who blew caution to the wind. She didn't know Trisha, except from afar. Keeping her distance as she admired her beauty and the fantasies in her head.
"You ready for graduation, Nikki? I have two exams tomorrow, and that's it. How 'bout you?" Trisha asked, falling into step beside Nikki.
Nikki blushed at Trisha's obvious friendliness. "My last exam is at ten. I feel pretty confident about it." She looked into Trisha's deep blue eyes and asked, "Is it true you're getting married after graduation. You're only eighteen. Seems a rush to married life."
Trisha looked down, her eyes glossed over with sadness. "My mother, bless her heart, is planning the wedding as we speak." Trisha said her voice, a mixture of hurt and despair. "What about you, Nikki? I know you are two years younger than me and so much more advance in your studies."
Nikki looked at Trisha as if her eyes were trying to hold back tears. She did not look happy, but a sadness lined her eyes. But why did she feel that way. "I'm sure my IQ is not that much higher? Why do you have such a sadness in your eyes? Do you not want to get married?" Nikki said her brow upward with curiosity.
"Nikki, you're IQ is definitely much higher as you have skipped two years. "Trisha frowned, fidgeting with her hands. "To be honest, I'm only doing it to please mother." Trisha sighed heavily as if her breath was a heavy burden. "I don't know what to think or want."
Nikki was a little perplexed. Why would Trisha allow herself to get married if she wasn't ready? "You do love Thomas, don't you?"
"I suppose, but, to be honest, something is missing in our relationship." Trisha said, in a low strained voice, not entirely convincing in her words.
Nikki was taken aback. "Wow, that's a bit heavy, Trisha. Maybe you should hold off on that wedding. It wouldn't be fair to Thomas or yourself if you're not ready or if you're having doubts." Trisha looked down at the floor, embarrassed to look up in fear she might break. She wasn't entirely convinced that she was doing the right thing by marrying Thomas and she knew the reasons why. "I know," she whispered, barely audible to Nikki. "How about you. Any plans for marriage in the future?"
Nikki swallowed hard, not certain how to proceed. In fact, marriage was the furthest thing on her mind. Of course, she was gay and happy under her skin. She didn't need a piece of paper to declare her love for another. "To be quite honest, marriage is not in my future. But then we're different in many aspect."
"What do you mean?" Trisha looked directly at Nikki, gaging her thoughts.
"Well, I'm...I'm gay." Nikki said quickly looking over at Trisha for a reaction.
"So I guess it is true then," Trisha said smiling warmly. The revelation somehow made her smile.
"What is true?" Nikki said, at a loss.
"Well, there's was a little rumour around the dorms that you might be a lesbian." Trisha said, blushing. Her face became warm.
"Oh, I see. I didn't realise I was of interest to people." Nikki laughed nervously. "So I guess I didn't shock you with the news of my lesbianism?
"No, I'm afraid not, Nikki," Trisha grinned. "I think it's brilliant that you're open about your sexuality, because I'm sure not everyone is as comfortable as you are." She said quietly, looking a little nervous and glancing away from Nikki's eyes.
"I suppose it depends on the circle of friends you have." Nikki smiled back. She couldn't believe that she never approached Trisha before. She sensed that Trisha was blushing, and she seemed a little uncomfortable, then without warning, Trisha grabbed her hand and proceeded to pull her towards the loo. She was a little confused by Trisha's actions, but didn't object. Trisha paced back and forth, finally resting against the sink. "Are you all right, Trisha?" Nikki asked concerned, and wondering why the hell were they inside the loo.
"What are your plans after school Nikki?" Trisha asked quickly, changing the subject.
Nikki was dumbfounded. Why was Trisha acting so nervous? "Psychology and Behavioural Sciences at the University of Cambridge."
"Commendable. I'm going to be a teacher. Do you have a specialty in mind?" Trisha asked, taking a fag out from her bag. She offered Nikki who declined, then smiled and proceeded to light the fag.
"I dunno yet, but I want to get my doctorate, maybe in neuroscience, perhaps becoming a neuropsychologist or a psychologist. I'm not really sure at this moment what I want."
"With your brains, you could get two doctorate and not sneeze about it." Trisha said smiling.
Nikki cringed. She wanted to be looked at as normal and not some close to genius status. She wasn't a genius by any means, but her high IQ afforded her with the ability to skip two grades and breeze exams. In fact, her parents held her behind, choosing to keep her grounded and decided that they wanted her to stay close to her own peers age by two years, rather than being with students who were five or six years older. She always had a thirst for knowledge at a young age but she hated when teachers fussed over her. Nikki said, looking at Trisha who looked more at ease. "Do you mind if I ask you a question?"
Trisha laughed childishly. "Hey, let's get out of here okay. It's getting a little stuffy."
Nikki was even more confused. Why the hell did Trisha drag her into the loo, looking so nervous, like she was going to cough out a hairball, and then without warning, wanting to leave as quickly as she came. She wasn't going to push it. She didn't exactly know Trisha. The only opinions she formed were the fantasies in her head.
Once they got outside, the warm air filled their nostrils. Trisha yawned. "It's really dark out here, isn't it? As a child I was always so afraid of the dark. I suppose I still am but I'm so glad you're walking with me," Trisha turned towards Nikki. "What was your question again?"
Nikki looked around, the night seemed still and quiet. It had an eerie quality to it. Normally the building was full of activities even this late in the evening. But tonight, though, with exams pretty much over, a lot of the students had already left to go back home. Some of the night-post had broken bulbs. Nikki noticed it the previous night and amused that some silly blokes were being stupid and throwing rocks at it. "My question is - how did it feel to be chosen the most popular student?"
"It was an over-the-top affair that made my skin crawl. People laughing and congratulating each other with clay faces and fake interest in things they could care less about. It was really boring, the students in here are so boring," Trisha said thinking that no amount of money can make them grow a brain. Like Nikki, she thought most students were just rich snobs, thumbing their nose down on others. That was an ugly quality she hated and it reminded her of her parents. Her wealthy upbringing afforded her with a lot of options but her parents were too stuffy and proper. She wanted so much to rebel but never could find the strength to do so. "Sometimes I just want to ride like the wind. Be free to be who I am supposed to be. But I can't if I am to keep up with my family's name. Getting married is expected and I just feel…at times like I'm being suffocated." Trisha said, her eyes getting watery and she felt so defeated. She looked up at Nikki with a pleading look and then sighed softly.
Nikki was gob-smacked. She was baring a little of her soul and it was a soul full of confusion, anger, and genuine sadness. It pulled on Nikki's heart strings. It was horrible that someone beautiful as Trisha was miserable and she wanted to hold Trisha and find out what secrets she held so dear. But she was not going to push her way through.
"Are you seeing anyone special?" Trisha blurted out.
Nikki laughed. She wished she could think of something smart and witty to say to Trisha walking alongside with her. "No, I'm not seeing anyone special or otherwise?"
"You probably just haven't found the right girl yet, Nikki. The girls in this school are rather stuck-up and pretentious. You're different." Trisha said, momentarily forgetting about her surroundings."Have you been in love? Something tells me if you have it isn't with Thomas." Nikki grinned, slightly. Trisha tilted her head towards Nikki, her eyes glossy, then, she grinned. "You'd be true on that note, Nikki." She then smiled, baring her perfect white teeth. "You're cute when you grin like that, Nikki. You must have girls coming on to you all the time."
"I consider myself a nerd and ordinary, so I don't usually have to beat babes off of me with a stick. Although, I've had my fair share of pick-ups." Nikki said jokingly. In truth, she was particular picky when it came to dating. Most of the girls that she dated were conceited and hallow. No one was able to move her heart and most of the time she turned them down politely. "I'm rather fussy when it comes to dating. I can't stand pretentious girls and their hallow stories."
Trisha grabbed Nikki's arm and put her arm around it, so they would be walking side by side, which surprised Nikki at first. She wasn't expecting, popular Trisha Harris to be so friendly in a physical manner. Nevertheless, Nikki felt a warm sensation surge through her body. "Nikki, you shouldn't berate yourself. I think you're beautiful and smart. You have that dark mysterious look about you. And believe me when I say I've seen the way some girls look at you lustfully."
Nikki rolled her eyes in embarrassment. "What an observation when you don't really know me. Trust me, I'm not that mysterious."
"I know a thing or two, and besides, you look adorable with your hair messy like that. You just don't realise how sensual you can be. Perhaps you're just shy about expressing it. Most people are shy about showing their true feelings. It is human nature I suppose." Trisha smiled, biting her lower lip and feeling a shyness come over her. Nikki continued looking at Trisha who she thought was flirting with her. Trisha's engaged to be married, but why would she be flirting so obviously. But then, she wasn't acting like a blushing-bride-to-be either. Nikki wondered where Trisha was heading with all this talk. "Do you think I'm attractive, Nikki?" Trisha said her voice a little uneven but keeping her eyes on Nikki.
Nikki almost choked on her saliva. 'Damn! Woman, don't you know how bloody beautiful you are'. "I think everyone in this school thinks you're beautiful, and half the blokes in here would do just about anything to be in your company."
"Yes, I'm sure they would. But most blokes in this school are so shallow, and that isn't what I asked you," Trisha said with conviction. She wasn't going to let Nikki off the hook so easily. "I wanted to know if you, Nikki, think I'm beautiful."
What a question Nikki thought, and how forceful she thought Trisha was sounding. Maybe Trisha was nervous, but why? And why the sudden need of approval from her? She wasn't quite sure where the line of questioning was leading, but she was bound to find out. "To be truthful, the first time I saw you I felt an attraction. You're quite beautiful. But in reality, it wasn't just your looks, you had something I cannot put in words. Thomas is one lucky bloke."
Trisha smiled with approval. "Do you mind if I ask you another question, Nikki?"
"Yeah, go ahead." Nikki said smiling, what did she have to lose? She just confessed she was attracted to Trisha and she didn't run the opposite direction.
"Would you have ever considered asking me out on a date if you didn't know that I was with Thomas?" Trisha said squarely, her voice cracked. Her breathing became harder.
Nikki paused for a moment. She didn't have to think hard, of course she would. The first time she laid eyes on Trisha, she was infatuated with her, but of course, she got over it once she realised she wasn't gay material. "Quite honestly, Trisha, I would have followed you like a puppy." Nikki laughed nervously. "But I'm a girl and you're a girl, I knew my limits. Not much fun being in an unrequited love affair." Nikki said blushing.
"Is that so," Trisha smiled warmly. She couldn't believe how charming and honest Nikki was.
"Yeah," Nikki blushed, all shades of red. "I wouldn't have done anything stupid or embarrassing. I know when not to cross a line, especially with a straight girl."
Trisha seemed a little disappointed by the revelation. "Oh, I see."
"Well, it would've been awkward if you had known my true intention. You probably would have slapped me or rejected me politely, and I didn't need to look the fool." Nikki tried to explain. Why did Trisha have that disappointed look in her eyes? She couldn't read Trisha properly.
"I wouldn't have slapped you, Nikki." Trisha smiled, pulling the strands of hair behind her ear. "In fact," there was a long pause afterwards, "Truth, I would have wanted you to."
Nikki's jaw dropped ten folds. She turned her head quickly towards Trisha who was looking at her intensely. "Trisha, did I just hear correctly?"
"Don't be so shocked. I don't think you realise how attractive and charming you really are." Trisha said boldly. "And, I'm curious how it would feel to kiss another girl. The thing is Nikki, I wanted to kiss you since I talked to you."
Nikki didn't know what she wanted at that moment. She was with the most popular girl in college, and Nikki was contemplating whether to kiss her or not. It was maddening.
"I'm sorry, maybe I'm being a little too forceful," Trisha said, her voice sounding nervous. "I like you Nikki, and maybe I'm not being obvious enough. I liked you for a long time. I think I might be confused about my sexuality." Nikki had to hold back the gleam she felt inside. Could this be a dream? Or a nightmare she was going to wake up from. Trisha Harris might actually be a gay? That would surely cause a riot among the blokes, not to mention probably give Trisha's parents a heart attack.
"Say something, Nikki," Trisha grabbed Nikki's arm. She was beginning to panic.
"Sorry, you just threw me for a loop. I just wasn't expecting it coming from you." Nikki said trying to break herself from the spell she felt she was under.
"Coming from me? What did you expect? Is it because I don't look the part? Well, you don't look the part either." Trisha said her voice defensive. She was beginning to wonder if she made a mistake by being so forthright with Nikki.
"I'm, sorry, Trisha. That's not what I meant. I'm just surprised. Nothing exciting ever happens to me, in fact never." Nikki said loudly trying to calm her nerves. She did not want to push Trisha away.
"No." Trisha said looking intently at Nikki.
Nikki shook her head. "It all makes sense to me now. You're hesitation, your nervousness, and sadness. I don't know how you've dealt with it, dealing with all the pretence and fake smiles, but I got to hand it to you. You're brave for opening yourself up to me like that."
Trisha looked depressed and tired. "The thing is I've always felt different, but with being popular at school I wanted to fit in, and fitting in is having a boyfriend, or people look at you oddly. I think I'm probably gay - no I'd be lying about that. I know I am, but how do you really know for sure, Nikki?"
"It's an individual thing. I can't really explain, except that it feels perfectly naturally to me. Without sounding cliché, I can't imagine myself being any other way. It's in every nerve cell, my blood, my whole being with absolute certainty. It feels absolutely normal to me, even though others would disagree. Am I making any sense because I sound a bit confused even to myself?" Nikki said a little bewildered by everything. "Have you ever been with a girl?" Nikki asked cautiously.
Trisha blushed. "Well, not exactly, Nikki," she hesitated. "Well, okay, that's not entirely true. I did sleep with a good friend of mine last year. We were both so wasted. No, that's not true. I wasn't exactly wasted. I knew what I was doing with her. We both just pretended that we were just experimenting. It's not like I had feelings for her, but more than I wanted to know how it felt to be with a girl."
"You, dark horse," Nikki said jokingly. It took a lot of courage for Trisha to tell Nikki what she was feeling, and she admired her for that. In fact, Nikki felt more compelled to kiss her, now than ever. "So, any big revelation?"
They both laughed out-loud. "Do I shock you Nikki, with my openness?" Trisha giggled. She had to look down in fear of laughing silly. "Well to be quite honest, it felt wonderful at that moment. I mean, it was different than being with a bloke. I felt so much more at home but at the same time it scared me." Trisha said with a sad look in her eyes. "That was the first and last time I was with a girl. I just don't get that with Thomas. You know, I just, well…want to feel that again. I'm sorry I shouldn't have asked you."
"Hey, don't sweat it?" Nikki said in a seductive manner. "Do you realise how many times I fantasied about kissing you?"
Trisha bit her lip then turned quickly towards Nikki, mere inches apart. They stood like that for what must have seemed a million seconds, when in fact it was only a few seconds. And without thinking, Nikki leaned over and kissed Trisha on the lips. It was a soft, warm kiss, which only lasted a few seconds, but long enough to send shivers down Trisha's spine, sending tiny spasms throughout her body. The kiss had affected Nikki too, who was trying to come out from the haze that seemed to temporally immobilize her.
Nikki looked at Trisha, her eyes still closed. She wondered what Trisha felt. Did she feel the same as her? When Trisha came out of her trance, she smiled at Nikki, blushing full red.
The only word's Trisha could spew out were, "Your lips are very soft."
"Yours too." Nikki blushed, as she caressed Trisha face.
"Nikki, I think I could fall in love with you." Trisha said, feeling warm all over. What she really wanted was Nikki to touch her. Trisha felt a sexual energy so strong that she felt her knees buckle a little.
Nikki leaned in and kissed Trisha again, this time, the kiss lasting longer." Both girls felt the sexual charge and wondered how they were going to move.
"Nikki," Trisha ran her fingers through Nikki's hair. "You feel so good, I don't know if I can let you go."
Nikki smiled. She couldn't fathom how she got here but Trisha being vulnerable and sensual was turning her on. She needed release and as much as she didn't want to stop, they were in a public area. "Come on let's get out of here before someone notices us." Nikki said, realising that they were in the middle of the street. "I much rather have you somewhere else."
Then figures came out of the darkness like stalking wolves. It was hard for Nikki to distinguish how many were there because it was dark until they started to talk. Four and one hovering outside the immediate group, Nikki thought, as the fine hairs on the back of her neck stood on end. Then Nikki started to shake, or was it Trisha who had suddenly grabbed her arm in a vicelike grip?
"Well, what do we have here, mates? We snagged us a real beauty. Well if it isn't popular perfect Miss Harris and her lesbo lover having a snog section." A voice in the dark replied.