LIFE WITH THE PONDS IS LIKE THIS
AMY'S BIRTHDAY
It was Amy's birthday and Rory was trying to do a lovely surprise for his lovely wife. She was asleep upstairs in the bedroom while he was in the kitchen cooking up a full English breakfast for her; the more sausages the better for Amy was the case. For Rory, it was going to be just a day between him and Amy as the Doctor was off on his travels. He'd gone on the bus of all things instead of the TARDIS and was going as far as Aldershot for no apparent reason. Rory didn't know what was in Aldershot but he didn't imagine a lot. The Doctor could always find something out of nothing though.
"He'll be fine..." Rory muttered under his breath as he tried to fry the eggs for the breakfast as best he could. The sizzle was very loud and for the hour it was and the noise was making Rory feel a little worse for wear. It was still early and he was only wearing his boxers underneath his cooking apron but it was still very hot out. Every so often he looked to one of the cubes in the kitchen but it did nothing. They hadn't done for months. Then, out of nowhere the doorbell rang. "Oh god..." mumbled Rory as he left the cooking breakfast on the oven. The doorbell rang again, Rory huffed loudly. He could hear Amy stirring from her slumber, things weren't going to plan. The doorbell rang again. "I'm coming!" Rory then shouted before doing the latch and then swinging the door with a level of force he didn't mean to do. Still dressed in basically just an apron, Rory was left surprised to see the Doctor at the front door. He was wearing a bright yellow beanie hat.
"Beanie hats are cool, Mr Pond..." declared the Doctor as he took out a packet of jammie dodgers from his tweed jacket pocket. "Want one?" he then asked. Rory was puzzled.
"N...n...no. What are you doing here Doctor? I thought you were travelling." he eventually said.
"I was." smiled the time lord. "I'm not now."
"Why not?" asked Rory abruptly.
"I er...tried to drive the bus. I like buses, they go vroom loudly. Lorries more so." came the quirky reply through a chewing of jammie dodgers as crumbs descended all over the porch. Rory couldn't quite believe this; the one day he thought it would be just him and Amy was going to be anything but now. The Doctor was obviously unaware of the problem he'd caused and just smiled at his good friend. "You know you're just wearing an apron don't you?" the Doctor then eventually said. "It suits you..." he added before walking past Rory and into the house. Rory sighed.
"Hmmm...I bet it does." he mumbled before closing the door.
"You tried to cook me a birthday breakfast?" asked Amy as she sat on the sofa.
"Yeah, why not? It's your birthday and you deserve a treat." said Rory.
"You could have been dressed."
"I was trying to be a bit Jamie Oliver with it." admitted Rory.
"What? Annoying?" cut in the Doctor. Amy smirked.
"No...the...naked chef." Rory eventually said. "Amy liked that title." The Doctor just gave his friend a funny look.
"Ah, Rory the roman, the one who cooks in barely any clothes. It doesn't have the same ring about it." he said with a smile on his face. The Doctor then looked to a mirror nearby, he was still wearing his beanie hat. "Yep, they're definitely cool." he remarked.
"So, I take it the breakfast wasn't the only thing you were doing for me?" Amy then asked. "I like a breakfast Rory but a bit more than that would be nice, I'm not in my 50s where a kiss and a cuddle will do it all."
"It would save it us money though," he joked. Amy looked unimpressed but Rory quickly changed tact. "But...of course there's something else," he said as he looked to the Doctor.
"Yeah!" chipped in the time lord. "Er...um...this beanie hat, it was just for you."
"A hat? A bloody hat?" said Amy.
"No, no, no, no..." said Rory. "Ah, the Doctor, he's joking. I've booked us a meal for tonight. Just us two." Rory then said although it wasn't quite true. He knew the breakfast wouldn't be enough but he thought he could think of something else; a fancy expensive meal wasn't originally on his mind though.
"Ooh," smiled Amy. "A meal with my Roman...that's more like it." she said as she kissed Rory on the cheek. "I best pick out the perfect dress right now." she added before heading to the bedroom. Rory then immediately went for the phone and as quietly as possible tried to book a table without Amy overhearing him...
Evening came and in the midst of Rory handing over several boxes of chocolates throughout the day to make up for the breakfast, Amy was quite enjoying her birthday. The Doctor had been quite normal too and she was feeling a little bit sorry for her alien friend.
"Should we let him come with us?" she asked to Rory as she put her earrings on. Rory wasn't so sure.
"Hmmm," he responded. "If you want him to come then I won't stop you. Just remember what he can be like."
"Well you can keep him in order, it's my birthday!" said Amy with a smile on her face. Rory reluctantly agreed and soon the three of them were off to the swanky restaurant. It was a very posh looking one and Amy and Rory were in awe of the lush dressings and ornaments that surrounded their table. It was quite a layout, but the Doctor wasn't that impressed.
"It's not wacky enough for me." he said as he sat down opposite Amy and next to Rory. They just ignored him and waited for the waiter to come with some menus.
"Ah, here we are madam and sirs." he said as placed the deep red menus on the table.
"Is there a children's menu at all?" the Doctor asked with a broad smile. "I do love my fish fingers you see." The waiter gave the Doctor a look, a look that was mirrored by both of the Ponds.
"No sir, we do not." came the waiter's eventual response.
"A shame..." sighed the Doctor. "I'll just have the most expensive thing on the menu then."
"Very well sir."
"You do know that I'm paying don't you?" whispered Rory to the Doctor. The time lord nodded. "Well don't pick really expensive things, this place costs a bomb."
"Ok Mr Pond." agreed the Doctor. "Mr Waiter, I'll have the second most expensive thing on the menu instead." he continued. "That's better isn't it?" he asked to Rory. Rory didn't reply and just gritted his teeth as he didn't want to upset Amy on her birthday.
"It's fine." he said after a long wait with a distinct lack of conviction in his voice. "No, it's fine..."
The meal had been going great despite the earlier pricing issues, Amy and Rory were having a lovely time and the Doctor was being quite normal for his standards too. He'd occasionally been looking over at the some of the staff with a funny glare but it wasn't so strange that it was annoying either of the Ponds. However, as the night went on, the time lord looked over to the staff more and more.
"Is everything ok Doctor?" Amy asked as she sipped some wine.
"Something doesn't feel right." he said.
"That could be the oysters coming back at you," joked Rory. "You're not meant to eat the shell."
"It's not that, it's the maitre d. There's something strange about him."
"I doubt it." said Amy. "He gave me a funny look too, some people are just like that. Move on Doctor, have a drink, have something, just not anything to do with him."
"Hmmm..." sounded the time lord as he got his sonic screwdriver out of his tweed jacket pocket. He made it scan quietly and soon it wasn't long before he jumped out of his chair. "Ah ha!" he declared.
"Doctor." said Rory. "Sit down!"
"Raggedy man." Amy then said but the Doctor wasn't listening and headed away from the Pond's table and towards the staff kitchen. His sonic was sounding loudly and Amy and Rory tried to keep up with him in a way that wasn't causing a commotion, but that wasn't possible.
"Sorry!" said Rory to one diner.
"Excuse me, my friend's over there." said Amy to another. "Doctor! Come back! You're making a scene." He didn't respond at all and soon the Doctor pushed his way past two waiters into the kitchen.
"Oi!" said one of the chefs. "Who are you?"
"I'm the Doctor and I don't appreciate alien life-forms working in Earth kitchens trying to kill off innocent people." answered the Doctor proudly.
"What?!" said the chef. "What are you talking about?"
"Oh you know...you really know." smiled the time lord. Just then, Amy and Rory burst into the kitchen.
"Doctor!" called out Amy. "What are you playing at?"
"Helping save people from inevitable doom. The funny looks, the oyster shells that were tasty but crunchy, something's not right here and I'm trying to show what it is."
"Have you been drinking or something mate?" the chef asked. He looked to Amy and Rory as if to ask them too.
"He's only been having lemonade, we daren't give him alcohol, not in public anyway" answered Rory.
"Doctor," Amy then tried once more, this time directly at his side. "Just stop please, don't spoil my birthday."
"Birthday, birthday, your birthday. Amelia's birthday of course." he muttered. "It all makes sense."
"It really doesn't, Doctor." said Rory.
"It does Mr Pond, they've been planning something and if my sonic detects rightly, it's in that fridge over there." he said as he rushed right over. Rory followed nervously.
"Doctor..." he called. "Just leave that fridge alone."
"Why? It's just a fridge." said Amy.
"There's a good reason." answered Rory but it was too late as the Doctor opened the fridge loudly and picked up a long cake on a try. It looked gorgeous.
"This, this is the beacon for your plan, I can tell." announced the Doctor grandly.
"Doctor!" called out Rory. "It's not."
"Mate, you better put that down." the chef then said.
"That's what you'd like me to do, but I won't."
"Doctor," tried Amy once more but he simply wasn't listening. She approached him and made Rory do the same. They were trying to act like parents towards him now, even if it wasn't the usual kind of situation. The problem was that the Doctor wasn't listening.
"This cake holds all of their powers," he said loudly. "Therefore it has to be stopped!" he added before smashing the cake into the floor. Cream and icing went everywhere and splatted both Amy and Rory all over.
"You idiot!" called out the chef.
"Doctor..." said Rory after wiping some cream from around his face. "That was Amy's cake...the birthday cake I'd ordered as a surprise for her."
"Oh..." came the Doctor's response. "I was sure it was an alien hub portal device."
"It was just a cake..." said Rory before comforting Amy. "Sorry about the cake, the cream tastes nice though."
"It does." agreed Amy. The Doctor, being a little bit curious, put a finger on Amy's face and swiped a bit of cream off her. He licked it almost instantly.
"I don't like it..." he said. "It's too sweet." Amy and Rory sighed.
Later that evening, once the Ponds and the Doctor were back home and clean, the time lord tried to apologise again.
"Something didn't feel right I swear." he said.
"He had a headache, that was it Doctor. That's all the maitre d had. He was just annoyed by everyone," said Amy. "He wasn't an alien, not this time anyway."
"I was positive though, I'm never really wrong." he replied.
"What about when you've taken me and Rory to the wrong places on the TARDIS before?" asked Amy.
"Well that's different..." he huffed. Amy grinned and just looked to Rory, he was smiling too.
"Well it's certainly a memorable birthday for you Amy, that's for sure..." he said with a little toothy grin now on his face. "You're not likely to forget that one."
"No," agreed Amy. "Let's just hope there's a bit more cake to eat at the next one though, whether there are aliens involved or not!" Deep down the Doctor agreed but wasn't willing to admit in person. The whole cake incident made him feel very embarrassed on the inside...